Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 820 - Fetish Friday: Jeff has a Small D*** and a SPH Fetish and he Lost his GF Because of It

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

Jeff has a small d** and has a SPH fetish and he lost his girlfriend because of it and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how small his d** is, how and when he realized he was into being humiliated and why, how and why he always felt like girls were disappointed in his size, how his sph fetish played out in his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, how he started asking her questions trying to get her to say he was small, how he explained his fetish to her and how she reacted, how it eventually ended their relationship and why he blames himself, what kind of woman he should look for in his next relationship, how he turned his insecurity into a turn on and why that’s not such a bad thing, what he wants a girl to say and do that turns him on and what turns him off, how he can and should control his fetish so it doesn’t ruin his future relationships, how he also has a sissy side and is now exploring that fetish, how he is into wearing panties now as well and how that ties into him trying on his mom’s clothing when he was younger, what he’s looking g for now in a relationship and how he needs to go out and find it plus a whole lot more. **To see a pic of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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the phone number that I gave you in this intro are all in the description. Okay. Anyway, today I have on Jeff. Jeff's got a small dick. He lost his girlfriend because of his little dick. But he's one of those guys that has a small penis humiliation fetish. He kind of toes the line and wants his girl to tone the line and she wasn't able to. Like he kind of wants to be made her to make fun of him.

And she kind of did. But then she lost interest. And it's a whole, it was a whole big problem in his relationship. I think it is a problem when guys want their girls to humiliate them. And we talk a lot about it. This is like a therapy session. Anyone that's got a fetish that's getting in the way of their relationship is going to dig this episode because I think I give him a lot of good advice.

We really talk it out, especially guys that are into the whole humiliation thing. This is a good episode because like I said, there's a lot of advice. I think if you have a girl that doesn't really like to humiliate you or is having issues with it, you're going to be able to relate to Jeff. He has also got a little bit of a cissy inside of him. He's into wearing panties. We talk about that more towards the end. of the podcast and he did cops to the fact that he would wear his mom's clothes when he was younger,

but most of the time we're talking about how he lost his girl because of his small dick, but more so because of his small dick, humiliation, fetish. SPH, right, small penis humiliation, fetish. And that's what this episode is all about. It's Fetish Friday. So I'm just going to get right to and be right back on with Jeff. Hi, Jeff. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast.

How are you today? All right, good, thanks. How are you? I'm good. So, Jeff, you're calling in because I think in the email you said something like, oh, I lost my girl to, I thought you used the word fetish. I don't know. To one of my fetishes or I don't know, but then it turns out that it's because you have some sort of small penis humiliation thing going on. Is that true? Or is that the fetish? Yeah, yeah, you pretty much got the fetish, right? And we could unravel the story, however you. one. Once I finally opened up to her about my fetish and things and that's how it all went from there and down the wrong direction eventually. Yeah, well, let's get into the fetish because it's not like you have a small dick and she broke up with you because of it. You, maybe you're on the

smaller size, but you like for her to put you down for it and that's where the fetish comes into play and that's the problem she had? Yeah, and I am on the smaller side. There's no hiding that. So a lot of it was a matter of fact for her to humiliate me or tease me. But it wasn't like I wasn't satisfying her. Sorry for the double negative, but I was still able to at first please her in other ways, not so much with penetration all the time.

But it wasn't like that was the main cause of her to eventually leave me like you said, correct? That was the main cause? Or that wasn't. It was not. The size was not. No, it was more so what you were pushing her to do. Like she just was like, what the fuck? This is weird or I'm not into doing that to you or whatever.

But I really don't think if a girl is dating a guy, it's natural for her to make fun of his size. Typically, women would never do that. Was she doing that on her own? No. And that's where I caught myself in a sense forcing, not forcing in a... in a hard way, but also more so just encouraging her to say things and just finding ways to get it out, get it out of her. And that's because you're right. At first when I brought it up, she was like, well, yeah, you are a little smaller, but she was afraid to really say things.

And I respected that. But for whatever reason is wrong with me because she was just so hot and attractive and I liked her so much. And I just was trying to, I knew she would eventually do it because she was so open. And she did have a good sexual side to her with to try things. But I should have never tried to get things out of her when it wasn't natural. But you couldn't help it. And that's sometimes the problem with fetishes, right? It's just a driving force.

That's the difference between a fetish and something you're just into. Yeah, sure. Yeah. It's there wasn't a little voice telling me to stop really so much. You couldn't. Yeah. Okay. So let's first, my first question, of course, is how big is?

your dick and then we're going to go back to your fetish. Okay, let's get the size going here. Do you have a micropinus or are you just smaller than average or maybe you think you're smaller? It's smaller than average. It's probably just slightly over four inches hard and but it's a little bit on the thinner side. Okay, so thin and short. Yeah. Okay. But not a micro penis at all. What does that concept? No. No. Okay. Now, we'll get to the relationship because I'm curious about how that all played out, but let's go back. now that we got your dick size and everything to when you realized you had this and then we'll go back to your relationship at some point I want to hear how it actually played out but when did you start getting into this humiliation aspect or fattish whatever you want to call years ago

when I was with an ex I just I don't know I I mean I goodness I already had feelings that I could tell from women that they knew I was smaller than other guys just from the way that I they would give me hand jobs with a couple fingers or maybe even make little comments or jokes here and there. And then so what it started was I had 1X where I just started asking questions that just to hear about her history and comparing me to other guys

and just little things like that just turned you on. Yeah, and that's when I just realized oh, maybe I'd like hearing about that and just explored the internet obviously after that. But just hearing it from that one X kind of got me started. And we didn't really go too far much further than that, but I would just ask her little questions here and they're just to try to get to make hints about how I was smaller than other guys a lot and things like that mostly. But was that the first time this fetish reared its ugly head or there were signs beforehand?

There was this one girl that was a part of my friend group that would always try to pull my shorts down in front other people. But I never really understood why. And I think that was probably it. I think she knew. But not, I don't know. I'm trying to think that's really the, when I really think about it, that's about the only other time that I could think of. That, like, you weren't when you were young and like Googling porn or getting into

jerking off the thinking about bigger dicks than yours or anything like that. Well, I mean, around the time, like after high school, that's right around when I started getting into porn. I mean, I'm in my 30s. So, like, yeah, it's in my 20s is when porn on the internet really good to be big. That's when I really started it. So answer your question, yes. But it was just at an older age.

Okay. Did you ever know before you started dating girls? Oh, you were smaller? Did you have any kind of inclination to that? Did you have a fascination with your dick size? Anything like that going on? I always assumed I was fairly average or slightly below average. And then when I was hooking up with girls, I never really got a huge sense.

Like I said, maybe some from hand drops here and there. But that was like, as I got a little bit older, I really started to notice. But they never really screamed or anything. or moan like I would hear on the internet or movies when that was a hint, but it kind of took me a little. No, I'm sorry, but that's not a hint. I mean, you're watching porn and you're thinking that girls fuck like porn stars.

They don't moan like crazy, you know. The fact that they weren't moating wasn't because your dick was small. It was just because maybe they weren't loud or they were shy. Guys are so funny that you would think that it's, you're relating the two. I think you were projecting things onto your experiences that weren't there just because of your own insecurity. because I don't think the girls were like giving you hand jobs thinking you were so small.

You were saying like I could tell they thought that. I think you could tell that they, you thought that by the way they were doing it. But it wasn't what they were thinking. And you're probably right because no one really, maybe some of them were afraid to say things. A lot of them never really came back for a second time. Or like I wasn't really the biggest one night stand type of person back in. And that was probably, I think I was maybe that's probably why. I think a lot of them didn't want to do that.

But no, but yeah, it took a while for me to really realize it, I think. That you were smaller. But you like that you're smaller. So it's almost like maybe you realize it because you want that to be the case because you have a fucking fetish for it. I know. Do you know? Yeah, it makes sense.

Yeah, I think maybe you're a little slightly less than average like you thought when you were younger before you got into this thing of being smaller. and then now you feeling that way and everything is just a projection of what you want to be the case because that's what you get off on. Yeah, and it's hard to say with the latest girlfriend I was messed with my head with telling me things like you are a lot smaller than the people I've been with. But she's talking about people that are like seven, eight inches. And I know that's not normal.

But no, and you're right. I think a lot of, and that's what kind of, that's why I'm talking to you about just because I want to just get my story out there to let people know. I don't mean to jump ahead with your topic or anything like that because just to be careful with how open you are with your relationships because we had a great relationship and that's why I felt so comfortable with. Now I'm going back to my most recent girlfriend that I lost, but I felt so comfortable with her that I could share all those things with her and it just got too far, went too far too fast and

it cost me everything. But, you know, can we break apart that relationship and exactly what happened? Tell me how it played out in that relationship and what when you say, came up and you went too hard too fast tell me what went down well we were like we communicated a time we were texting like crazy we talked like crazy and how long did you date total about a year and a half okay and so start where you like with that relationship everything's going great like when do you start telling her that you want her to tell you about her other boyfriends and stuff and then eventually get to the point where it's too much for her well

Rather early, so we actually worked together and we knew each other for a little bit before we started dating. And we had a couple mutual friends. And before our first date, she had ended up telling you this story down the road. But before our first date, another girl that we work with had bumped into her and told her something about me, about my size. And I don't know how it came up. I think she had asked her, hey, do you know, do you know anything about Jeff? And so I had an ex before this girlfriend that also. also worked her. So this girl had also known a little bit about me. So she had told her, well, he's nice, but he has a small penis.

Oh, no. And my girlfriend, my ex, didn't tell me about this until obviously, like, weeks or months later as we were getting open. But she didn't let it bother her. So she knew going into this a little, she had an idea. And then obviously she saw it and whatever. But then, I don't know, like pretty early on, we started being really open about sexuality and what we liked. And like I said, I just, I don't know. It was probably from the first couple months where we were talking about size and comparison. I just was letting her know how I felt about that fetish in a sense. And it took a few more months. No, no, no, no, no. But you need to explain it because I know that you know all this, but nobody's ever heard of this before. I haven't either. It's not common knowledge out there.

So explain what you would talk to her about and how you explained it and what your conversations were like. So, yeah, with having the small penis simulation, it's just, You just hear a lot of different comments to whether it's honest or more humiliating or I just wanted to hear her say just different things. And I just wanted her to be honest. There are certain key words you want her to say obviously smaller, little and tiny or things like that eventually. Oh my God.

The opposite of what every guy wants in their life. Whatever is the opposite. What is what you wanted actually? It's so crazy, right? It is. And we would always talk, like I said, in detail and text messages. And after every encounter, that's when I would try to get details out of her to ask her about how the night went. From start to finish, we would really be detailed with everything and break down how we felt about this situation.

When we first walked into the hotel room, and we were making out and threw her on the bed. Because at the first night, I was really trying to be like to show her like, hey, I know what I'm doing. And I always was the type to make up for it because I knew I was smaller. And so I really tried to wow her with my mouth and my fingers. And I thought I did pretty good job that night. And she said it was pretty good. And we did it. We made good love.

But that's when like that next day I started asking her, well, how was this and how was, how did you like these moves and that moves? And of course, we talked about, I talked about how beautiful she was. And I asked her, what did you think about my size? And that's when she just kind of just hinted around it. She wouldn't be too direct. She just said, oh, you know, it was okay. And there was nothing wrong there.

And I just kept prying. I just kept just like, are you sure it wasn't like too small? Or are you sure it wasn't like you could feel it okay? I don't know if I said feel it, but I just wanted to make sure like she didn't think it was too small. And at first I just wanted to see how she really would respond, not even just looking for humiliation, just to see what her honest answer would be. Because I knew she said, oh, well, you were big. You're the biggest guy I've ever seen. And then I knew she'd be lying and just trying to make me happy or whatever.

But if she would have said I was small, I would have been like, oh, great. But I think she was like, oh, well, it was nice. And she didn't really say beggar small because she didn't want to hurt my feelings or anything. But that's when I wanted to get, just to see what else I could get with her, just see if I could get another inch or another, well, lack of a better. Great terminology. Yeah. No pun intended.

Yeah. But to see if I could take more. And then she would. And she would make little hints eventually over time to say like she would be willing to give more information. But after each encounter is how it progressively grew. So the next time we would hook up or she'd give me head or we'd have sex or something. Then that next day is when I would really try to just ask her questions about it. And I think that's really how it started.

But what would you say? Did you ever come? Because I don't think you'd ever came right out and said it. because you can't even come out and tell me things that I ask you questions. So I don't think you came fucking right out and said it. Did you ever come right out and say, listen, like, I have this fetish. Like, can you, like, humiliate me? Or did you take a year to, and you were asking every other question, but, you know?

Not as, no, I'm not as slow as I'm being right now. Okay. No, I did eventually pretty quickly, actually, because I told her, I was like, yeah, I know I'm smaller. And I don't mind it. I saw it or say, hey, I'm willing to own it. Which is kind of part of my thing, too. like I don't mind being humiliated and teased, but I also want to own it. And I know I can make up for it in other ways and things too.

And but I did tell her. I was like, like, I do. I don't mind if you say it's small. Like I told her like, if you want to be honest with me, just be honest because like you're, you're not hurting my feelings. I know you might feel uncomfortable. And she even said, she's, I feel like, I feel weird saying it's cute or it's, it's smaller. It's like, that's not something you, she's just like you said.

She's not really something you say to your boyfriend. Yeah, no girl would want to do that. to the guy she's into, no way. And looking back, I get it. And at the time, I didn't see that. I was blinded. And I just wanted to see what else I could get out of her. And I eventually said, it's okay.

I don't mind. It might even be fun to tease me. The first couple of times she backed off, I didn't really press her hard. Mm-hmm. We just moved on and talked about other things. But she always would acknowledge, at least early on that I was small. Like, she knew, all right, we'll talk about when I referenced her dick, she'll say, You know, it's a small dick or it's a your small penis.

And we would send, she would send like emojis with it, like the shrimp emoji and the whatever other emojis. So pretty early on, she was starting to get into it that way. So you got her to eventually feel, because you just said before, oh, my God, you're like the worst, like you're bad, you're bad explaining things. I'll edit that out too. But you just explain that she didn't want to say it was small and everything. And now you're jumping to the point where she's sending you shrimp emojis. Did you tell her like, listen, it turns me on if you say that, like I'm into it? Okay, well, you got to explain that.

And I'm sorry, yes. Like, when she was first being little hesitant, that's when I really opened up and let her know, hey, it's okay. I understand how you feel, but, you know, this is how I feel too. You went from her not wanting to tell you you're small and now she's sending shrimp emojis. How did you let her know that? And not even her. Let's just get to the point where, like, how? How do you realize that it's like making you horny to hear that you were smaller?

And let me just tell you, I think that if you have a small dick, it's nothing better than to turn it into something like this. Instead of feeling so self-conscious and uncomfortable about it, you turned into it, like you turned it into a turn-on. I think that that's actually not so bad of a thing to have going on. You're going to be turned on as opposed to self-conscious about your size, right? Is that correct? Yeah.

No, you're 100%. No, it's not going to be a negative thing against me. How do I know? It was almost like I just realized it involuntarily when I was like listening to other pornography or videos prior to that relationship. And it's just, I don't know, it's just not something I search for. It just happened. But with her and the emojis, and I'm sorry, I didn't explain that better, but it wasn't

a very long transition. When she was hesitant when I first brought it up, then the very very, next conversation with her is when I sat her down and I was like, hey, this is how I feel. I'm sorry, you feel, I understand where you're coming from, but this is where I'm coming from. And I really do get turned on if you say it's smaller. And like anytime I would bring it up, I would say smaller, use different words like that and just let her know, you're not going to hurt my feelings. It actually turns me on. And just like you said, I said, maybe we could use this as a positive thing rather than if you were to have a thought in your head that I am small, but be afraid to tell me that I'm small for all. all this time, like maybe years down the road, that could be negative if we're ever holding something back. And that's how I opened it up to her to be so, like, more responsive and, and explore the fetish and with me. And because it wasn't really really hard for her. I don't think once she realized, all right, this doesn't hurt. I'm like, she's making it up. It's not like I'm really like six or seven inches and she's lying to me saying it's small. But so I guess at that point, I guess it was easy for

her to, I'm assuming it was the just transition, but really early, I pressed her, not in that first conversation, but just the second or third time we talked about it, just really just let her know where I was at. And she, and at that point, she said, she said, okay, I'm willing to give it a chance. It sounds interesting. And then it was obviously new to her, but because she said, I was the smallest she'd ever been with. And so just once I heard that, that kind of opened the door, too. And I was like, oh, well, you know, I'd like to hear that. But, um, so it was just really, really new to her. And I was like, so, but she was willing to try. But as she, when she told me about her past, she said she tried all kinds of other different things such as a threesomes and just things

I'd never done before. But I started a feeling she wouldn't be too reluctant. But, but, but yeah, within the first couple months after that first conversation, not even, it was one from the emojis to conversations and where she would just say different things too. But, Oh my goodness. So she gets into it and she starts telling you things and now you're horny for that and now and everything's fine. Eventually this blows up your relationship. Like when does it become too much and what eventually like what happens? Well, early on it was good. We seemed to be getting along well and we had our little quirks and Kingsworth with the with the fetish. We were playing our games with the fetish and with text messages and or even in person. Obviously she would say verbal things. And it wasn't like a really mean, humiliating thing, by the way.

She was a really nice person. And she, but we were just more, it was more so of a joking matter of fact. I think, oh, you're small and in this size. And it really wasn't seen the fact like our sex life at all. Like we, we had sex regularly a few times every weekend. It's like we lived together. But whenever we were with each other, we always were active. But then eventually over time, I want to say towards the seventh or eighth month of the relationship,

that's when I started getting a little bit more open with not just a small penis humiliation, but more so like watching other videos and with that type of fetish. And then just trying to send her pictures all the time. And I don't know why I just got so caught up with like when we were texting, I'd get, I'd get harder and I'd get turned on. And it almost got now looking back. It was almost like I was using her to turn me on in a sense when we weren't together, which I don't know if that's

That's normal Yeah I guess But I know But girls would rather you be using them Than porn or the girl you're cheating eyes That's a part of it It's okay You have needs

And you were the fact that you were going to your girlfriend Other than someplace else is okay That's true You felt bad about it though Well just looking back that I was Most of our conversation were predominantly about sex and not always about my penis but like I would always make reference to that at some point when I would always try to work that into the conversation no matter what we were talking about and but I felt like I was focused too much on sex with her and our conversations and over time it just was one of the main topics and like I wasn't really focusing on her her what she wanted to pay attention to more her topics that she was trying to bring up that I was brushing aside. Yeah that's a different thing than oh I was using her for sexy meaning you were just you were only focusing on

that in your relationship now did she say that that was a problem not in so many words and towards the end I didn't get an exact reason off her why she left I know she ended up with some other guy she didn't really say much to me and and that was one of the things we talked about like we were at the point where we were talking about moving into it moving in together we talked about marriage like we were talking about like we were soulmates like we were in love and like it was everything was so what the fuck happened come on you need to explain more i think i got too open with with my sexual fantasies i got in things like i i was just talking about it too much and no no listen to me no girl just walks out and gives you no explanation is was it that you guys were fighting towards the end and

nobody that's dating for you no but nobody that's dating for a year and a half just breaks up one day and never talks to each other what how did the breakup go what exactly happened. I'm going to try to get to the bottom of this for you. We had some fights, and that was part of the reason why I wanted to talk to you, too. But no, we did have some fights. And it was about different things. Sometimes just because we weren't together as often as we used to be, or just fighting fights that normal couples have. Yeah, yeah, okay. Nothing, nothing ever bad, like, nothing ever physical or anything. But why the breakup? What was said the day that it broke up? When did she tell her?

Did she text message you? Did she say? that you don't? She tried to. She tried to text message me and then I said, no, I need to see you. Like, we were at work and I said, I wanted to see you. And, but prior to that, like, we had been hitting some rough spots, like, not just the fighting, but there was just, like, we had been, like, we had a Valentine's Day at one point where I got her a gift and I had mentioned in the card, I want to be with you forever. And we always use that word forever. And at that point, she was like, well, I don't really know if I could say the word forever anymore. And I said, and that's when I started, I knew like she wasn't in the same place that she was previously.

Yeah. And she never really said why, though. That's the hard part. She just always said she just wasn't feeling the way that she used to feel. And the reason why I feel like I lost her was because, like, she had made hints about her fantasies. Like, she had fantasies about being with these big, strong military guys at, I'm like 5, 10, not the biggest guy in the world, somewhat athletic bill, but not muscular. And she always said she had fantasies for being with stronger, bigger guys and muscular with larger dicks and in like having sex a certain way.

Which we like I could we could be physical and rough every now and then. But that wasn't the way I would always do it. I was more so. We'd like to make love and be with her on top mostly was the way it ended up being received. And I also talked about how I like being more submissive in a relationship. and having a dominant woman. And she was agreeing with that. Like she's a Scorpio and she was like, yeah,

I've never been in a relationship like that before, but it doesn't sound like something I couldn't do. And she wasn't really dominating me like a dominatrix or anything, but we toyed with that idea. And we tried to incorporate it here and there. Like she would spank me or things like that. But I got a sense like she was just doing it because I wanted her to do it. And she wasn't really doing it.

because that was something she was really into. But she was having fun and enjoyed it, but I get to tell she was probably doing it because I did. You know what I mean? Yeah, doing it for you. Yeah, that's a common problem that I hear for guys with specific fetishes. The end goal and the perfect thing scenario would be that your girl not only does it for you, but is actually enjoying it.

And I think you could always tell, whether you're man or a woman, if you're with somebody, you could always tell if someone's doing something for you or they're doing it because they enjoy it. And it's always going to be a thousand times more pleasurable if the person is doing it because they're enjoying it too. And it's less pleasurable. And, you know, I get that that would be disappointing to you on some level for sure.

And I think I was afraid to realize that that was the, I just wanted to believe that she was enjoying it and wanted to continue and not really try other things and just live my fantasy more so, which is selfish. I should have, you know, looking back, only brought that out here and there and tried other things and been more adaptive to her and just tried a more variety of different things with her

and rather than just that one way to have her humiliate me, her be the dominant one and be in charge and always talk about that. Well, did she bring up things that she wanted you to do when you said no? Sometimes. And she would bring up things that she would want me to do, And I would try to incorporate it, but not as often as I think she wanted me to.

And she brought up things where she would like me to try to be more, me be the dominant one and me be more aggressive. Or I think that was one of the main things that she brought up. Yeah, listen, there would be a big disconnect. Well, at least in your intimate life. And listen, sex is an end all be all in a relationship. But it definitely is a piece of the pie, right? If a relationship is a pie, a whole pie, there's different pieces. Sex is never the whole pie.

And it shouldn't be. But it's a part of it. And it's an important part of a relationship for sure. So if you have a couple where one person is, wants to be a sub and the other one wants someone that's a dom. And if that's really, they're very stuck in those things and there's no switch in them at all. They don't feel the need to switch or they're not into being switched. It could be a big disconnect, I think. If there's a woman that really wants a guy that's going to take her over the shoulder and be like a caveman and dominate her. And she's with a guy that has to be a sub at all times and doesn't have it in him at all. That might just be a deal breaker for both of you. Like it might not be something you could have changed because at the end of the day, you might have been able to accommodate her. Like you keep saying, I could have been less selfish and everything. But eventually you could have been completely.

selfless like she was for you but it wouldn't have worked for you just like it didn't work for her you would she would get the same thing on her end that you got on your end which is oh i could tell he's just doing this for me and he's not really into it because it seems like both of you were very fixed in who you were you're very much a sub and you can't dom and you're not into it and heard the same thing she really wanted a dom and she didn't want a sub but that doesn't mean that there's not people out there that like a woman out there that would be perfect for you and someone that would be perfect for her for you there's a woman out there that would be perfectly suited for you because she wants to be the fucking dom.

Yeah, no, that's a good point. That's a great point. So what do you do in that situation? It's almost like I get and everyone understands. We've all been in a relationship that doesn't work. And I love the fact that you're really wanting to take your own accountability for it. Okay. half the people out there, the biggest fucking problem is they never want to look at themselves at all.

If anything, I think you're trying to look at yourself more than you need to. Trying to like blame the whole end of the relationship on yourself. It might have just been a mismatch. And like I said, not that sex is a whole relationship. You guys just might have not been well suited in that area and that did drive you apart. But listen, you are who you are and you are into what you're into. And I think even if she accommodated you and you accommodated her eventually, you wouldn't have felt totally satisfied either. So maybe it was okay that you guys ended and eventually you will wind up with somebody that's better suited for you.

No, that's a good point. And looking back, that was one thing I did not regret was that I did bring it up early on rather than just hold back and then bring it on later up later down in the road and waste more time and end up getting, you know, hurt further on. Because listen, you put it out on the table. I remember reading about Andy Warhol. Like he said that he always dressed the way that he did and he looked the way that he did. And it was very bizarre for the time because it was his way of weeding out the trash. Like if anyone was going to judge him and not be cool with him because of the way they was, he knew that that person was not on his fucking level.

So you always want to weed out the trash early on. And what better way than to just be yourself? Maybe you're not going to go on a first date with a girl and be like, hey listen, I have a small dick and I want, and I'm into you telling me that my dick is small. But you definitely want to look for a girl who's more dominant and wants to be that way. And I got to tell you, it's not the girl who's dominant sitting across from you and barking orders at you, like me, right? Like I seem like I'm a real fucking dumb, but you know what in the bedroom, I don't want to be the

dom. I want a fucking sub. So a lot of times people are very switchy in their life. So I think you have to look for a girl that maybe is a little bit. bit on the quiet side and seems more similar to you in her regular life. And that girl is going to want to fucking switch and be like a boss bitch like me in bed. Do you know what I mean? Because a lot of times everyone's different, the opposite.

Another great point. Yeah, no, that's so true. Now that you say that, I actually think I know a couple people like that. But no, that's a great point. Yeah. That, listen, that girl, it sounds like you might have, because there's no really defining moment of what happened between you guys. I feel like relationships that end like she wanted to do it via text or very lackluster like that. That typically happens when people just grow apart slowly over

time or something. Like where was, why did it just like end like that? At the time, like we did work together, but for my position, I was traveling a lot. So I would go away for about a week at a time, Not all the time, but once a month, you're in there. And when I was away, the trips got harder and harder where we would fight a little bit more on each trip. And then, like, you could just get, it just wasn't the, we didn't have that connection. Like, we just couldn't feel that connection from far away like I could before. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you had a really intense connection, you don't just walk away from each other either.

There's typically a big bang at the end of a passionate relationship. And it's weird, but I saw it come and I knew I was losing her. I just didn't have a great grasp of why. I mean, I think for the reasons I thought, I think I mentioned, but for what I did, but like you said, though, you made even a better point where there may not have been anything I could have done. No, not for who you are. It's just who you are.

And no one's right or wrong in that situation. It just is who you are. And so to me, fighting that would have just been more of a waste of your time because you probably were not suited for each. other just because of who she was and who you were and no one was right or wrong it just was a mismatch you were right on some level and you lasted for a year and a half you're still young it's better to be done with that thank god you guys didn't fucking get married or anything like that you're like a free agent you just have to go out and find that that girl that is a dom and will live out your fantasies

with with you and be into that and I think it listen in your generation there's probably a lot more girls who are open to things like that and would be down for it. I think it's great that you were able to put it out there with her in the beginning. I also, like I said, I do think, you know, a guy like you who has a dick that's on the smaller size, the fact that you're able or decided to channel the energy that you feel about it around to be a turn on, I think is fucking great. Because that's like a problem solver because I think there's the opposite end of that is like the guy who has a four inch dig that's on the thinner size that feels like girls think it's smaller and they're so self-conscious and they probably don't date as much because they're nervous about it or they feel terrible about it or they're always comparing themselves you right so the fact that you're not that way I think is is wonderful you just need to get a girl that's going to satisfy your fetish with you what what what what like we're With your fetish, explain your fetish more. Like if you had the perfect girl, like what is it that really gets you off and that you really like and that you really want a girl to do when you, if you did have that right, perfect partner?

Well, but yeah, like you said, I used to be more hesitant and afraid to show people because I was afraid of them laughing. But now, yeah, I wouldn't mind if they just giggled about it or joked about it. but my ideal fantasy would be for them to tease me about it, but also like it, which is, I know a horrible combination is going to be even rare or fine, but, but it's like,

oh, like it's, they think it's cute or it's, they also want to, don't want to just never touch it or look at it. Right. They're accepting. My ex,

my ex got to the point where she flat out told me she thought it was unattractive. And which I didn't, I still turn you on, but then thinking about it, like, yeah, well, that's not going to be, that's not going to go very far better. No, it seems like maybe what happened with her.

And I think that this is probably something that is something that could happen some of the times if you open up. It's like a Pandora's box. You know, whatever. How does somebody tow that line? I think it would take a very, like, I don't know, it's a special person that would be able to tow that line. Because here you are asking someone to make fun of me, make fun of me, make fun of me look at it in this negative way, quote unquote, but yet still like it. And maybe what happened because she kept going there, she eventually started to feel that way in a negative way because

it is a negative. Like what you're saying is in direct opposition of it. So that perfect partner has to be able to, like I said, and like what you just said, what you want is to giggle and joke and make fun of it, but to never really go there for real and always. be into it. And I think that you maybe that girl wasn't clear about that and she just started to actually feel that way in real life because she kept saying it. And that's

going to happen. That could happen. And yeah, like I would just like, I just want them to be like a matter of fact and I guess in a sense where they'll not be not be afraid to refer to it as small or little or you know, even while we're doing it or just say you don't know, fuck me with that small dick or you know, whatever and like they're still

wind to it but they're not afraid to say it's small. And like, I don't know. It's just something. about the way that they're just honest about that just really turns me on not afraid to say oh just your dick or your you're your cock or maybe just teasing me like oh i couldn't even call it a cock it's too small to be called that or but also i know but then your toe the line on well are they still going to be turned on by this at all but i just would my my ideal situation would just be to have someone like i said be more matter of fact not be afraid to tease me about it and just be more playful i guess

in a sense, like just to have fun with it and just joke around. Not so much like the mean kind of humiliating, like the brady, bitchy kind, I guess. Do you think maybe, because did you and your girlfriend really connect emotionally? I thought so, yes. So you were at a certain point. So do you think maybe because this stuff like took her down another place? Because I'm wondering how you grew apart. Because I do think if a girl was like very,

connected emotionally to you, she would be able to tow that line because that was there. And maybe you traveling and when you started to leave a lot and weren't there, like that disconnect broke that connection and then that's when it started to change. Because I think that if you really met a girl and you establish a real solid foundation with them and things are good, that you can play around like that. and it wouldn't change the way they felt. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and I think we were doing that for a little bit with toe in the line and working that in.

And we were having fun with it. And I know I keep going back to blaming myself, but maybe I did press for too hard on it and pushed too much. And I think I maybe just kept bringing it up too often, like on a daily basis sometimes. Listen, I talk to a lot of guys with fetishes, and a lot of times that is a problem. because there is a compulsion aspect, a compulsive aspect to it, right? You can't help it. Like I said, that's the nature of something being a fetish. You can't help it, but you have to.

And so, like, I talk to a lot of guys with a pantyose fetish. And a lot of times the problem is that if they get a girl and she's okay, like, I'll wear panty hose for you. But then they want to do it every single time. And then the girl starts to think, do you like me or do you just want the pantyhoes? There has to be that kind of moderation. And I think sometimes when you have a fetish, it's hard to be moderate with it. Because it, like I said, you have a compulsion for it.

It's a fetish. It's you're driven by it. It's what turns you on. So it's hard to be moderate, but you do need to be mindful of that for sure. And that's why I wanted to come on to just throw that out for any guys listening that. But you brought up some good points. I don't know. I originally wanted to come on to tell people to be careful and moderate.

But also, like you said, though, don't be afraid to hold back. So I guess you have to tow that line as well with how much you want to be open versus, but then when you're open, just don't really make sure you're focusing on the signs that your partner is given you, like the cues that your partner is giving you verbal and nonverbal. And even this too. Like sometimes when you know you have something, even being honest about, listen, you have to, I think it's great if you let somebody in. especially someone that you're going to be, that's going to be your long-term partner and any kind of fetish that you have.

If you could put that out there and they accept it, boom, you're, you're in. And that's great. And you're ahead of a lot of people in my fucking generation that are living double, triple lives, you know, because they can't be honest about who they are. You have to be honest about who you are. But, you know, who you are too? The guy that maybe takes it a little too far. So you could also be honest about that. Sometimes it's just telling somebody straight up, listen, like I'm into this and I want you to do it.

And if you feel like I'm doing it too much because I might do it too much, tell me to fucking cut it out because I might do that. And that costs me a relationship in the past. And I don't want to do that again. So if you ever feel like it's too much, let me know. You know what I mean? Be honest also about that if you know that that's the way you're in it. Because that's a cool thing to do. Just put your shit out there.

No, that's well said. I agree. I couldn't agree more. Listen, you're a great guy. You sound like a great guy. Like you're like I said, you're like most guys especially, okay, not just guys, girls too, but you know, I don't want to take accountability. Don't want to look in the mirror. They just want to blame everything or they're just not really in touch. I mean, you happen to be very, even though it was hard for me in the beginning to get some information of you, you seem to be very clear.

And like I said, you're always really looking at your part in things. And I think that's always the best place to start. Because at the end of the day, you're going to move on. Maybe you'll have 10 more relationships. but you need to figure out what you did wrong in every single one of them. I think everyone needs to take some accountability in everything. And a lot of people don't. Everyone wants to think, oh, it's somebody else. Even when you're like a victim, you played some part in it. But people never want to see that.

But you do. You really are just blaming about yourself. And maybe that's like the little fetishy guy that you are. But I don't think so. I think you're pretty self-aware and you are open. of you that wanted to call my show and hear me tell you things is means you're open. And I think that that's great. You bring that to the table. Any girl's going to be lucky to have a guy like you because a lot of guys aren't that way. And in a relationship, 10 years down the line, you need a guy like

you. A lot of the stuff that you have is very helpful in getting through the hard times. I think with that girl, you just didn't get to a point where you guys were really solid enough. And that's okay. everyone has failed really that's normal it's not good you're young still but that doesn't mean that the next girl can't be the one but i think that you should know that a fetish is always going to maybe consume you and i think letting a girl know that and letting her maybe help you reel yourself in and because you you know that this is what you do what's great as you put that out there when she says it you're going to be like, oh, yeah, that's what I'm doing. Like, you're right.

And that's great because you are open to knowing that about yourself. So you'll be able to weather that with the right person. Yeah, no, thank you. You really, I can't even explain how much you've helped me with all this. Because that's part of why I wanted to talk to you because, like I said, I haven't really shared this story with hardly anybody. And so it's selfish to be you've had some type of therapeutic outlook for this. But no, there's nothing selfish.

Yes. And you're not selfish. Listen, we all need to be selfish in that. We need to know about ourselves. I think that that's great. And it's only going to help your relationship in the future. And there's nothing selfish about you. I think you have the opposite thing going on sometimes.

Or you think you're selfish. You go a little bit extreme in your thoughts. But I don't see you as selfish at all. Maybe. And listen, at the end of the day, we all are selfish. how could we not be? But I think that you sound very thoughtful of that girl that you were with and you did think a lot about her and you're still thinking about that relationship, trying to figure it out so you don't do it.

So I think that in itself shows that you're not completely selfish and you could find the right person. I just think it is good for you to put that out there that you like that little bit of humiliation. And the fact that it's not that hardcore, like you really don't want someone to really call you bad names. stuff I think is an easier sell to a girl. It's not like that hardcore of a fetish. Everyone's fetish is a different variation. That's why I wanted to know a little bit more specifics about it. Yeah.

No, I wasn't, we had explored, I was starting to find videos where guys are wearing panties and things like that. And I had thought about it, but I was never that gone that far with her. I was wearing like women's underwear or anything like that. But would you? Let me ask for this. But if you found the right. girl and you guys explored is that like maybe your next step i i honestly it does turn me on and and

i would be definitely willing to go further with it too and to try this to see there we go yeah see yeah i think i think god that girl left you okay because there's a whole world of things that you need to get to and you're just starting to figure out who you are and what you're into and so i think that there's a lot more there going on with your fetishes. It's the cissy thing maybe you have going on, right? Wearing panties, maybe having a feminine side that you like to get in touch with every now and then. Yes, for sure. Right? Oh, definitely. And yeah, and that's why, yeah, maybe it was for the best because I've caught myself even exploring that fantasy even more in the internet with her. I haven't really had too many serious relationships. I haven't had any serious relationships.

then, but yeah, I've been looking at a lot more different things online and trying to find different ways to meet different people. But I would definitely would want to go further with it if I did find the right person, absolutely. Yeah, so see, it's not just like the small dick thing. You have, you might have a panties fetish and the sissy fetish. And I just think that the, and that's why you wanted her to be more Dom and you wanted to be a little bit more sub. that typically goes hand in hands. Oh, sure. Yeah, I think that part really excite me as well, too.

And it's just, it's just, it definitely couldn't come right out in the open with a girl about that, but it's just something that, yeah, no, it's, she probably wouldn't have been, I don't, I could definitely see her not being thrilled about getting too far into that, that topic. So you're definitely right. I don't think it would have, it would have gone further if I'd, brought that up but no but the good news is

is that you're not living you know what would have happened if you stayed with her and all that stuff like I probably would have tried to bring it up you're probably right I probably would have me leading to her I'm probably trying to wear panties and talking about the sissy thing and other things like that but

do you wear do you buy I mean nowadays because Amazon's available like it's very easy to have your own panties and try them on and stuff have you gotten into that yes I have I've tried them on And, yeah, I've had a few pairs that I've worn before. So were you doing that while you were with her, but just didn't tell her? No, that was towards the end.

Like, as we were, like, once we had broken up, that's when I really explored more in detail. Mm-hmm. And now the panties thing, because now that I know you have that, like, none of this stuff was evident when you were, like, super young? I mean, there was, when I was a kid, there was times I'd tried on, like, my mom's clothes here and there. Oh, my God. See, this is why you, this is why you have to really fucking talk to people. But it didn't go anywhere with it, though. I did it like twice. I didn't do it. Oh, okay. Okay. But no, it was, it didn't really, yeah, no, it didn't really happen much, but. But you did by yourself one day. It wasn't like your sister saying, try on clothes, like you did as a child on two occasions, look at your mom's clothes and want to put them on? Yes. That's a little interesting, don't you think? Yeah, it is. I just like the feeling.

the women's underwear and the silk and softness. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a towel. That's what I hear. That's a thing. Definitely, I just had a guy that called on, and he was talking on panties and when he first put them on,

and it was totally just the tactile sensation. That's because he wasn't, he wasn't a sexualized being at the time when he was putting it out. He was a child. It was strictly the sensation of the way it felt. Yeah, I know. And to be honest, they fit pretty good too.

but yeah and so i just yeah i just really enjoyed it and and so yeah i have a few pairs that i'll wear now and do you go are you on any kind of you live like a double life in that well who does around telling people they wear panties are you on any kind of alternative websites looking for people i tried i tried to go in that fat life yeah too hardcore it seemed like a lot of scam people would maybe not i don't know this thing like maybe some of the people were real It was just hard to have to give it another chance because I don't know how to meet people with without just being honest and telling them like, hey, this is what I like. But that would be nice if it was a lot. I'll have to explore.

I'm sure there are more platforms like Fat Life where you can find people with specific fetishes. Yeah, I think so. And I think, you know, the fact that you're in your 30s and you'd be looking for girls that are a little younger than you in their 20s, you're just much more. You're just, you're fishing out of a bigger pond of people who would be understanding than if you were. doing this 30, 40 years ago. I was just looking at it. It popped up on my thing that there's this fucking grape band and these young guys in it. And they're literally like wearing stockings with garter belts, like all of them.

And they got makeup on and they're like, wait, let me look out what they're thinking. And I'm like, this is like fucking awesome. Like the younger generation is just open. And then no one fucking gives a shit. Guys are wearing skirts. Harry Styles. Everyone's pretty open. And I just think that because it's all that stuff.

is very mainstream and it it it is a different world so i don't know that you have to go so not mainstream to find it you know i think it's different yeah no i think you're right to even seeing a lot of these tv shows i think it was the show billions on showtime where the they were talking about the the main character was with married to a dominatrix and they were showing him getting pegged and all this stuff and i was like geez this is on showtime That's what I'm saying. It's like crazy nowadays. It's so different. So I don't even think, like I said, that you need to be on fat life to meet a girl that's going to be okay with you wearing fucking panties when these guys are wearing, you know, thigh highs and stockings and skirts and shit. So I think that you should, you know, continue to date in the regular world. And eventually you're going to wind up meeting a girl. Are you looking for? a relationship now? Yes, definitely. I've been using the regular dating online apps and had some dates, nothing too serious. And yeah, I would love to find another relationship. But nothing,

nothing's really materialized yet, though. Well, when was that last breakup? It's been, and this was hard. It was like right around the pandemic. So it's been almost, it's been over two years now and I'm still talking about her. But yeah, it's been about two, going on two years now. well listen the pandemic is like a weird time and you guys broke up after that and then you're like stuck at home don't be able to do anything and progress forward and most of the time i think a lot of the times we all hold on to our last relationship no matter when it was until you meet someone else and then that's in the dust even if it's like that one percent of them because you just don't have anything else it's just like normal it's true yeah that's true yeah just because you haven't met anyone else but now i feel like finally that stupid thing is over that you you should really just really, if you're really looking for something, really put yourself out there and fucking go for it and start again with somebody new. And you'll have a different, a totally different experience. I don't think that what happened with her is, is something that, I don't think you should define who you are by that relationship. It just, it just, you guys as a pair were not right and that's okay.

But it doesn't mean that that's going to be the way you are in every relationship. I don't think it was your fetish totally that got in the way. You know what I mean? Yeah, I appreciate your perspective. And I couldn't agree more with your opinion. I really do. And I want to thank you so much for giving me your time and to talk. And I really thank you.

And I was really, I enjoyed it. And I'll be glad to let you know. Yeah, I'll keep you posted. Hopefully it's sooner than later. Thank you for calling in. And your show will be up on like a fetish Friday. Okay. Thanks, Kathy.

Okay, cool. Thanks for calling you. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you, before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really. short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or

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