Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 831 - Alysse is in the Lifestyle and Loves Interracial Hotel Takeovers, BDSM and More

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Alysse is a single girl in the lifestyle who digs interracial hotel takeover parties, bdsm and more and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and why she decided to enter into the lifestyle after her divorce, her first bdsm party she attended and what exactly went down there, the first time she went to a swingers party and what exactly went down there, the guy she met in the lifestyle who she got engaged to and why that ended, the interracial hotel take over she was taken to and how and why she fell in love with black men there, what exactly went down while she was there that first time, the orgy that she was in at a swinger house party and exactly what went down, the hotel takeover she attended and the guy who pushed her boundary and how she dealt with him, the best rules to follow when attending a party/club in lifestyle and why, how she learned to navigated the lifestyle as a single woman and how she now rolls to get her needs met, how she lives a double life and why she wishes she couldn’t , how being the lifestyle has helped her figure out what she’s really into plus a whole lot more. Links to everything Alysse: https://linktr.ee/starprincess83 **To see a pics of ALYSSE plus see pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. Change everybody's names. You can call me from a phony number. I don't really care who the fuck you really are. I just want to hear your true story. So if you have an interesting, unique, hot story that you want to talk about while we're meeting anonymous or not anonymous if you don't want to be anonymous. Send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous

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If you need longer, just call back. I'll edit together. I change the voices on the confessions. Some of those confessions make it on to a. Confessions episode. All the rest of them are posted on my Patreon. My Patreon is still just $5 a month. I think I'm raising it in June. I keep saying I'm raising it. I'm like, and I keep forgetting to do it. But for $5 a month, which is nothing, you get so much. Like you get all my episodes early in ad-free. You get a numerous Q&As that I've done over the years, tons of them where I ask, answer personal

questions. You get all the hot R-rated picks of all of my female guests and some of my male guests also send me in picks over there. Plus, you get all of the anonymous confessions that ever came in. They're all posted there. And you also get access to my Discord, which is a place where people get to post whatever they want. You could get super naughty over there. It is a private discord that you get access to when you join my Patreon. But I have over 2,300 people on my Patreon. So it's a great community. And like I said, it's only $5 a month. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Now listen, everything I just told you about is in the description. Today I have on the lease.

I dig a lease. She's fucking cool. She is another podcaster. She did start a podcast recently. She gives a shout out to that. She loves talking about the lifestyle. She is heavily involved in it. She gives her whole backstory of how and why she started in the lifestyle.

This was not something that she did, you know, when she was like super young. It was like it happened recently like a bunch of years back. She talks about what happened, how she got involved. She started out with BDSM and then started going to hotel takeovers and she's been to house parties and swinger events and she's into Shabari and rope play and all that shit. She's got a lot of hot stories. She's super into the lifestyle, but she's also very into educating people on it. This is a big part of her life. She has learned a lot about herself being in the lifestyle and she talks about that as well.

So it's a super interesting story. I loved her. She's going to be back on for a girl. talk episode. I'm going to put links to her podcast and all her stuff in the description. And if you want to see picks of her after you listen to her hot stories, you're going to get them over on my Patreon, patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. But anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Elise. Hi, Elise. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I am fabulous. How are you? I'm good, Elise. So listen, you are in the lifestyle. You're a single woman in the

lifestyle. You also started podcasting. You do have your own podcast. It's called Teach Me to Swing, right? I'll put a link to that and we'll talk a little bit at the end. You can give a shout out to that and talk about what you do. So you are a swinger. Do you consider yourself a swinger, Elise? I consider myself more polyamorous. I started out in the BDSM realm. I feel like The umbrella of the lifestyle encompasses so many terms. I attended a lot of swinger events, but I don't consider myself a full-on swinger just because I need a little bit more than the typical go to a party and find people to fuck. Okay, well, let's go back.

Let's go all the way back, Elise, and talk about like when you started and decided to get into the lifestyle. What came first? Was it BDSM? An interest in that. You also sound super young. Can you tell me how old? you are now? Well, thank you for that. I turned 41 this summer. Okay, cool. So that's still young

nowadays. Okay, so you're 41. You sound like a baby. You sound 32. I know that you are single, right? Correct. Okay, cool. So let's go all the way back. Like, when did you get into the lifestyle? So I found the lifestyle after divorce. I feel like this is a story that 50% of your lifestylers have, especially the newer lifestylers. So I got divorced about five years ago. Oh, okay. And after my divorce, I immediately wanted to start dating because I don't like being alone. Like, I have always been in a relationship.

And I am from a very small town where everyone's very conservative. I had no clue what the lifestyle was. Right. And kind of stumbled upon it. So the world of dating changed. It was 180 degrees. It went from meeting people to downloading an app and swiping right and swiping left and getting dick picks in my inbox.

Like, I was like, wait, what? Yeah. And so for probably maybe six months, I tried it out. I tried dating. But then I found that there were a lot of couples that had posted profiles saying they wanted to add someone. There were a lot of people that had this ethical, non-monogamous phrase. And I had no clue what this was. And I'm like, okay.

and I was just very confused. And so finally, I gave up on dating because I found out that all anyone wanted to do was fuck. Right. They just wanted to make a girl feel like she was wanted and then get in her pants and then maybe they'll ghost her. Maybe they'll call her back. Yeah, totally. It was a vicious cycle. And so I decided to go a different route and I started looking at.

into BDSM because part of my reason for divorce was my ex-husband told me I was selfish. And in life or in bed or both? In life. Okay. But I turned it into kink and went, I'm going to learn about being a submissive. Okay. Because I feel like that is the least selfish thing where I could literally put all of my life into someone else's hands and give everything of myself.

So I downloaded the app kit and everyone, like there were groups and I joined a bunch of BDSM groups and talked to a lot of people, had a lot of online dynamics in which people were teaching me how to be submissive. And I was going in wholeheartedly, like everything. I was just like, all right, how do I do this? And I had actually met a DOM on one of those dating apps that I hated. But it was an amazing experience, which I will tell you about that. But so in one of these online communities, they were talking about lifestyle clubs.

And I was like, what, what's a lifestyle club? So I did a little research and there was a club. in a town about an hour from me. And they would do a BDSM night every Thursday night. So I decided to go. And they had an online component to their website. And I had talked to someone who agreed to meet me and go to the club together. And it was different.

I really enjoyed the BDSM aspect. They had those clubs. I don't know. you watch shows and you see these lifestyle events and you're like, whoa, what's going on here? Those things are real. I thought it was all fake. So when I walk in, I'm going, oh, my God, there are people who are just like having sex in front of each other. There are people who are getting the shit beat out of them.

Ooh, what's that? I saw somebody getting tied up with rope. And I am a total rope bunny. I love rope. and there was somebody else who was tied to a cross. There was someone who was getting wax poured all over them and all of these things. My mind is just going, whoa, whoa, sensory overload. And I was like, this stuff is actually real.

And it's more intense than I was even expecting it. So I was drawn in immediately because I could, I'm really big on feeling the energy of the people. people around me. And there was so much open-mindedness and judgment was pushed away and I felt free. Yeah, amazing. Yes. And so I went the one time for the BDSM night. I got tied up. I got wax poured on me. And then I was fully clothed. Well, that's a lie. I think I had my shirt off because they put the wax on me. And then they held a wand to my clit, and I, like, cried.

I had never had an orgasm like that before. And I was like, yep, I'm sold. I will be back. And so fast forward a little bit. I get the nerve up to go by myself. I'm like, you know what? I didn't really have the greatest time with the guy who I had went with because he was weird and almost extrad.

expected me to have sex with him, but I didn't know him. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not really that attracted to you. So I had given him a blowjob. Just threw that in so you didn't have to fuck him. Yeah, because I didn't really want to. But while we were doing that, there were people watching and there were these two ladies who asked if they could join in. And he's like, I don't care.

and he literally stepped back and these two women just devoured me. Wow. And now had you ever been with women before? So maybe once in college. That's like the typical response. So it wasn't like and I mean, I'm, I consider myself by curious. I enjoy kissing women. I enjoy how beautiful women are.

But I don't like to go down on a woman. I find vagina is kind of funny looking, okay? I'm just going to throw that out there. I know I have one, but I'm just like, yeah, I'm good. But it was a fun time because I'm like, okay, I have all the attention, and they just helped me get rid of this guy who I did not want to have sex with. And now I'm just in heaven. They just started like kissing all over me.

And one was going down on me. The other was like sucking on my nipples and just like kissing all over my body. And I was like, okay. Like I said, it was a great time. And so then I decided to go back. And so I went by myself and I was sitting in, it was a crowded night. And there were a lot of people around. There was a girl who walked up to me and asked me if I was, I don't know, somebody named Chittin or something.

Everybody has these crazy nicknames. Oh, really? Oh, yes, because they had like their nicknames from online. So when they would see each other, they would call each other by their nicknames. You've got siren. You've got kitten. You've got sir. But now I know sir is more of a term.

That's a BDSM term. Yeah. But there were so many names. This girl just walked up to me, you're new. Are you so and so? And I was like, nope. This is my first time being here by myself and I know no one. So she kind of took me under her wing and I have a very bubbly person.

personality once I feel comfortable somewhere. And I became a regular at this club. I went probably every other weekend. And I had a great time. I went through a bit of a ho phase. I think we all do that. Maybe we're all still in a ho phase being in the lifestyle. But so I had a great time.

I met a guy there, though. this is a typical story of a guy meaning a girl he actually likes in the lifestyle I met a guy and he decided hey let's be in a relationship so I said okay this sounds great and then he's yeah I don't want you fucking other people the guy that you met at the club the lifestyle club that part right there yes this doesn't make sense it doesn't he was at lifestyle club, but found a girl who he wanted to turn back to being monogamous. But me, being a good little girl, you know, the term good girl, I don't know how many women just melt when they hear those two words.

Melt in a good way? What do you mean? You want to be the good girl? Being, like, if a man can walk up and tell me I'm being a good girl, oh, my God, I'm in a fucking puddle. I'm like, yes, sir. That's the little sub in you. You learn fast.

Oh, yes. I definitely learn fast. And I, when I decide I'm going to do something, I go full in. Right. And I think the reason I was all gun ho on, yes, I will do this. Yes, I will be monogamous. Was that he proclaimed to be a dom and would dominate me in the bedroom. I say proclaimed because I have learned so much in my years.

years. I know it's only been like five years in the lifestyle off and on, but I've learned if someone comes up to you and says, I'm a dom, you laugh and say, okay, I'll be a brat today for you. Because you don't have to tell someone you're a dom if you are a dom. You feel their presence. It's all about that energy. Interesting. I really read into it and I can feel the sexual energy. another experience at this club. I was there. I wasn't often I will just kind of sit back and watch because there are a lot of very thirsty men that come to these clubs that are just waiting for a girl to get too drunk that she says yes after she said no all night. Or they'll follow you around and hope that you let your guard down or hope to be invited into a lot.

a room with you. And so a lot of times, I just sit back and watch. There was one Friday night I went. And I don't know if you followed or watched or read the books, the Twilight books, Twilight series. Well, there's this term that they use that's called imprinting, where it's like a person and a werewolf will be in each other's presence and immediately know that like, oh, my God, we're supposed to be together.

I know some people believe in that as like love at first side or whatever, but this is the kink world here, so I'm not going that far. I saw this guy and I was like, I have to know you. So I walked straight up to him and I'm like, I don't do this, but will you follow me? And I just took his hand and went to a room. And oh my God, the sex was so fucking intense. Like, we just ravaged each other. Now, was he a dom?

Did he wind up being? Oh, definitely was. And he didn't even have to tell me. I immediately was like, I got down on my knees and I was just like, yes, sir. And there was a little. A bit of an odd kink there. Like he, there's in the world of BDSM and kink, there's like primal and prey. I'm not sure.

I'm sure you probably know what that is because the lifestyle does include a lot of kink as well. But he was a very primal thumb. And he even was like, ooh, I have these little wolf gloves. Will you put them on and will you growl at me? And I'm like, whoa, what? Oh my God. But anyway, is this the guy that you wind up in the relationship with or is this just a different guy? No, this was another just this was actually recently like maybe six months ago. And the relationship happened two and a half years ago. I jumped like crazy there. So I'll jump back. No, that's okay. But this guy, do you, but this guy was like just a really hot night. I mean, you had sex with him in that room.

We had sex. We had amazing sex. Lots. the people watched and like drooled. And then he told me he had a girlfriend. Now, is it a girlfriend that is in the know? Is it a girlfriend that isn't in the no? Like, he was mad at his girlfriend, so he went to the clubhouse to fuck. Oh, I'm surprised he was that honest with you. It's kind of like, it's weird that he would throw that in your face.

Well. Or be honest about it. I don't know. You know what I mean? I do. I have this I'm going to say I'm a I'm a super I have a superpower

that sometimes people feel they don't want to hurt me so they like to tell me things like that and just make it hurt quickly at the beginning because they could tell that I am a sensitive person. Right they want so you feel like he wanted to be honest like

listen this isn't going any further and he did he told me but I still let him just use my body like it was his freaking toy. Oh wait, did he tell you about the girl from before or after you fucked him? So I was, I was dick blind. I don't remember.

He may have mentioned, oh, wait, the term is dickmatized. Digmatized. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it. I love it. I've heard Dick drunk. One girl called it Dick drunk, but I loved, or dictmatized. Yeah, I love it. So you were totally dictatized by the guy.

He was hot. I was in my subspace because he pulled that totally. Totally out of me. So any words he said, I was just agreeing with. I don't even know what he said. He could have asked me to sign over my firstborn son. I didn't like, yes, sir.

I don't know. He was in my head. Yeah, there you go. But he went ghost, so we'll forget about him. He went back to his girlfriend. He'll be back after they get in another fight. Give him the six more months. Oh, yeah.

He found me on Facebook dating and liked me on Facebook dating. Yeah. Like just a week ago. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I don't want to talk to you, but damn, I want to talk to you. Yeah, if you see him at the club, you wind up in that back room with him again. I know. I don't know what happened.

I got, I don't know. But let's get back to that guy. So that guy, though, did you wind up in a monogamous, quote-unquote relationship with him, but you guys, like, would go to the club together? Yes, I did. And he put a ring on the, my finger. What? You were going to get married again? I was going to get married again. And he had three kids and I had three kids and we had the whole Brady Bunch thing going on. Yeah. But he was a little

psycho, which I found a lot of men and women in the lifestyle are crazy. Really? We have to be to be be able to put up with some of the things that people say and there's not a lot of education. There is a lot of education, but people don't take time to learn. They don't take time to learn the difference between a swinger, someone who's polyamorous, someone who is an ethical, non-monogamous relationship, or someone who's a hot wife that has a cuckled husband that's going to sit in the corner and watch while you fuck his wife. And that freaks a lot of men out if they don't understand it. I grew so much as a person when I started going to hotel takeover parties.

Yeah, let's talk about that. Like, when did you start going to hotel takeovers? Where in that timeline? This is actually really funny. So the guy who I was engaged to from the. club. Mm-hmm. He and I broke up and I went to the club and I met another guy there.

And the ex got really upset that I was there and had me kicked out of this club. Wow. Because he was working there at the time and it was a conflict of interest as his employee to have me present. And I'm like, you are fucking kidding me. who broke up with who? Like, why couldn't he see you? What a baby.

Because he wanted me to take him back. And I told him no. But you dumped him? No. You dumped him. Yeah. Well, that was ugly. Okay.

Yes, we broke up. Yeah. I got kicked out of this club because an employee there didn't want to see me because I wouldn't fuck him. Yeah. Well, you had an ugly breakup. If it was really soon after, we're all human beings. We have feelings.

Obviously, he can't just turn them off. He was upset. He probably really still cared about you. And that was his way of sort of protecting himself. Listen, if it was a year later or two years later, that's psycho. But if it was like two months later, maybe you would have pulled that card if you could, too. He was in the position to be able to get this person that really hurt his feelings, like, out of the club. And he took it.

Exactly. And it was one of those things where I was. so angry because I'm going, I'm a single female. Single females get into clubs for $5. Yeah, you're the hot commodity. I can bring a bunch of single males who have to pay 60 to get into this club. Yeah. What's he going to do? Bring in, no, he's not bringing in single males. So, but they kick me out. But anyway. So I had said I had met a guy that last night I was at the club. And I told him, that I got kicked out. He's like, you know what? There is a hotel takeover party the weekend before your birthday. I want to take you. And I'm like, well, I've never been to one of these before. Sure.

Although, this will be great, especially since I can't go to the club anymore and this will be new. So this is what changed me from being just a submissive, beautiful person into, having a true love for black men. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex. Guys, remember the days when you were always rock hard and always ready to go. Well, now you can increase your performance and get back that extra confidence in bed with Blue Chew.

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Well, the takeover was an IR takeover. So irracial, interracial. Oh, interesting. Okay, so that was like the theme night. That was this group that does parties, that's all their parties are. You have a bunch of sexy-ass black men. You have some single women. You have married couples.

And it's a hot commodity of, hey, once you find a guy that you know how knows how to play you guys like to play at these parties but that's what he invited me to this party before my birthday so I'm like all right I got this I'll go um and I will say I got I took too many edibles and I got really high and I told the people I was with I said I'm too high and they're like well do you need me to take you home I don't know, but I'm like, I'm afraid to go out there because I'm too high. And the gentleman that I was with was like, it'll be fine. I'll watch you.

Like, okay, as long as you promised to watch me and this right here, I didn't know him well enough. Because he saw me having a good time and just walked off and wasn't watching me as I was in a room where there were like every person was naked and it was like this giant orgy and I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how to say no. And that right there is what overwhelms new people because they don't know what is okay, what is not okay. They don't know how to speak up. And some people have their, this is where as a single female, I've learned that I

immediately start up with, these are my heart. knows. These are my requirements. If you don't meet these requirements, I'm not going to waste my time talking to you. And maybe that seems harsh. However, there are hundreds of people at these parties. Go find someone else because I bet someone will match your energy, but it's not going to be me. And that took a lot. Like I said, I've grown a lot from these parties. It took me a lot to get to that point where I felt comfortable saying that. And one thing I've noticed is some of these parties will have etiquette classes that you sit down and you discuss what is okay, what is not okay. And the thing is the people who attends those classes, they don't have to attend because they get it.

The new people need to be wired to attend one of these etiquette classes in order to attend a party. I feel like that is what there are a lot of people who say the lifestyle has been diluted. And it has because there's the crossover of the lifestyle and kink and BDSM and all of the things, but there's also people who have no clue what it is that are thrown in there. So there's just not enough people to know to step up and say, hey, wait, what are my rules? Oh, you want me to come in her, but I have to wear a condom with her. And I'm not allowed to fuck her face, but you want me to beat the shit out of her and tell her she's a nasty slut. And that's got to be confusing for anybody. So imagine a single guy at a party where there's three women in front of

him and this is, he has no clue. And he's like, oh my God, I'm in heaven. And so they sometimes forget the rules. So that's like the beginning of my hotel parties. I had a goal. great time. But I made some stupid choices because I didn't know how to say no. But now, how long ago was that? That was three years ago. Yeah. And I've been going to hotel takeover parties ever since. Do you always go to the interracial ones? Have you done different theme nights? Has that become your thing? I mostly go to the interracial ones. I have gone to, there was one. There was one. that was like a house party and I the only reason I went is I had there was a guy who reached out to me and they didn't let single men go to these parties so he asked me

if I would go with him as a couple mm-hmm and that had not a very diverse scene it was like a lot of very upscale married couples and so the date who brought me was immediately stolen because he was the only black man there. And these women were using that opportunity to be able to, ooh, I fucked a black guy.

So they stole your guy? Oh yeah, and it was okay. I didn't care. Oh, okay. Cool. Because at first, it was boring in there, so I'm like, we need to make something happen because I'm tired. Yeah. So there was this bed outside that have a canopy over at like the little mosquito net canopy or whatever. But I'm like, I just grabbed him by a shirt and pulled him in there and pushed him down

on the bed. And then people just started watching. And the next thing I know, we look up and everyone's just standing there, like mouths dropped. I'm like, yep, I still got it. Oh, my God. You're so funny. Like, I feel like there are some people who just know how to work sexual. energy and a whole side note that doesn't really have to deal with the lifestyle but i went about a

year ago to see an energy healer and i feel like after i did that i was even more in tune with the sexual energy around me and there was an experience at a party where i think i made the whole room orgasm at the same time and i wasn't even touching everyone it was so fucking hot by just like tapping into it and controlling it. Yeah. I get that. I think it is an energy. It's why some people give better head than others. It's why some guys go down on you and you're like, what the fuck you know

everywhere to go. They're like in tune. They're in tune when some people got that and some people don't. Yes. And it makes things tricky in the lifestyle. Because if you're a swinger and you have that capability,

some of those guys fall in love and want to wife you and get you out of the lifestyle. Yeah, look, it happened to you. It has happened so many times, and I have fallen for it so many times, which is why I'm still single. Right. Well, you did claim to be like a real relationship girl, so you probably have that stink about you, that you sort of are open to that and you like that, so you attract men that are looking for that,

right? But you're still single, so obviously nobody has really met up to what you're looking for. interesting that you are kind of no longer the relationship person unless you're in a couple because you did say you're poly now right and that is like my dream would be to find someone who like would want to be my partner maybe like primary that's a term a lot of people use yeah polyamory maybe i find someone who i would even get married again i really would yeah i loved being married yeah i hate being single because it's fucking hard. I've got three kids, one of which I'm trying to teach to drive, and he's the greatest

kid ever, but he's such a fucking asshole, too. I don't know how to raise a teenager on my own. Yeah, and you have two others. You have three kids. I know, and the other two are younger. So there's a good age gap there, but oh my God. Anyway, I digress. You'll have to help me get back on track. Let's go back to that, like, hot night that you're at the hotel. you're with your guy. Do the two girls come into that room while you're like fucking him and everyone's watching and join in? So are you taught the first time I went to the club? No, you said that those, you brought a guy with you, a really hot black guy and two girls came and took him from you. Oh, yes, that was that was at the house party. So okay. So like we like I said, we had the attention

of everybody because we were in this outdoor patio fucking. Yeah. And so then I look up and I recognized one girl and so like I motioned her to come in and she came in there with me and then we were like giving him head together and he's sitting there like a king he's the only person getting any sexual attention and everybody watching is white and he's just oh yeah and so then from there the woman who joined us decided we needed to go inside and there was a room that had three or four beds put together and there were bars on the walls and mirrors on the wall and the ceiling and shit and everyone was naked and fucking in there and it was hot as fuck there was somebody who had oh what's that machine called oh yeah is that what's called yeah somebody was playing on that and then i'm like okay

the sexual energy in here is pretty amazing and i i can't even see everybody because it was kind of dark there were some like the black lights and stuff but it we just kind of joined right in like an orgy yeah basically and this was a house party right like how many people attend a house party are we talking 50 people 30 people I'd go with 50 I could be wrong because that was like the the only party I have attended hosted by that group so the set of was awesome. Like the house was in the woods and there were like two or three bedrooms with plenty of beds and then there was like this loft area that was just mattresses. Wow. And like a dance floor with a stripper pole and all kinds of stuff. And how do you know the etiquette at that

kind of a place? Is it kind of the same thing like in the lifestyle whether you're at the hotel takeover or the swingers club or the house party? How do you know when you could join and where you can or was it the same thing like door open you could go in door shut you can't so there's etiquette is all over the place but I feel like the very first rule for etiquette is ask get consent and full consent may I touch her yes you may may I touch her nipples may I be like you have to be very specific because some people think that once you say oh yes you can touch that it means means, oh, he can pull his dick out and stick it inside of her. So that's when every time you are progressing, you make eye contact, you acknowledge that, hey,

is this a mutually agreed upon step? And some people are great at reading that, but some really suck. And I know a completely different party thrown by a bigger group that does full hotel takeovers. I was having a great time with a friend of mine who was a regular partner. And we, they have a ballroom where think of a wedding reception, except there are a bunch of beds set up here and a dance floor and DJ and stuff. And they also have mobile dungeons and all kinds of stuff. It's incredible the things you can get. But so I'm at this party and we're, my friend and I are playing. We're having a great time. And all of a sudden I feel someone's hand on me and

I immediately tense. And the guy, I was fucking got pissed. I started to yell at this guy. I said, no, let's stop for a second. Can I talk to him first? So I said, is this your first party? And he's like, yeah, I'm so, so sorry. What did I do wrong?

I'm like, all right, sit down beside me. And I think that at parties, more people need to do that and be open to hearing where the flaw was, where the mistake was, and then they can learn how to fix it. As opposed to just kind of punishing that person and assuming they're just like an asshole boundary pusher, because maybe it's just a dumb person, a dumb guy. I think that there's all different reasons for it. And you're saying, like, get that reason before you just sort of assume it was coming from a bad place.

And that's what many men are quick to jump to anger. Yeah. And I am a very calm spirit. And I'm like, oh, no, we're going to talk through this. Some people are like, you need to shut up. I literally had someone shove rope in my mouth one time when I was getting suspended because I was talking too much. Where? Like during sacks?

I don't understand. What do you mean? Suspetic. Oh, so rope is a whole, I'm a rope bunny. And I have a friend will go to a club and she'll do suspensions. So tie you up and then hang you. in the air and swing you around like you're a fairy. Oh God, I love it. I love it so much. So at these parties, I've met lots of people. I've made tons of friends. And I have one friend that she calls me

her emotional support pixie. She's like, you are like a little fairy sprinkling happy dust all over the place. And when you see there's a problem, you go to the problem and you try to fix it. So that's why when that guy was crossed your boundaries instead of you just being rude or dismissing. You tried to talk him through it. Yes. And I feel like education is so important, which is like very close to my heart. And I feel like educating adults is something I need to do more of, which is why I decided last summer to start a podcast, which I need to be more consistent at.

Yes, I told you you're going to get a lot of people that are going to go listen and they're going to listen. You're a great talker. You have so many stories and you're a deep thinker and I feel like it's really changed your life and it sounds like it's a very big part of your life now. So I think it's great that you start a podcast. But yes, you need to be more consistent because people listening to this are going to go check out your podcasts. Get your fucking episodes up there for them. I hope so. Well, and if they do, I'll make a promise.

I will be more consistent. I promise. I have to do it. Yeah, no, and I'll put the link to it in the description. But I do feel like talking about what I just said, it seems like it really sort of changed your life. You're talking about all these friends that you made and all these people that you've dated and stuff. Like, do you live, is this like a whole big secret life that you live? I know that you have three kids and you're a single woman and you have a full-time job outside of this.

Do you live a double life or do people in your vanilla world? I do and I hate it. Oh, really? I do and I hate it. I wish I lived in a community that was more accepting. Because like you have teachers now who are, they are very big on, I always get my letters mixed up, LGBTQ. I don't know. I'm awful with that.

I have to write it down when I say it. but you have I had a teacher that I've known who just she would have have rainbows all over the place and then you have people who work in the government and many people are very big on the pride movement so I feel like this lifestyle is something that is becoming more accepted in society as well for sure listen you have young kids you have a 17 year old like in that kids world, it's, it's very different than our world because they're growing up much more open-minded. And that's why I gravitate toward the lifestyle because I feel like so many people need educated in it and I feel like I could help them educate. But it's scary to me because I do

have to live that secret, separate life because I don't want something to happen that makes me look like an unfit mother. Yeah, because people are so judgmental. People are judgy. They are so manipulative. And so I wouldn't put it past some people to be like, ooh, she shouldn't have these kids because of this. Oh, yeah, you don't know.

That's that. Yeah. Yeah, this is my podcast is my secret life. Nobody knows. Not even like. But it's your whole life. Yeah. It's a huge part of my life.

It's my career. It's like how I pay my bills. It's what I do 24-7. It's what I love to do. But nobody knows. I have a child. He's eight years old. He goes to school.

May I ask? Yeah. What does he think you do then? He knows I have a podcast about sex. And when he gets older, he'll know more. When he knows I'm very open about that and we'll discuss it when he wants. And he also knows not it's nobody's business. And he knows that people are very judgy when it comes to that.

But we're not in my house. That's the way I know. Okay. I love that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We're super open. And me and my son are very close. I give him as much as he could handle right now.

Like sex isn't a part of his life yet. He's eight years old. He does know that what I do. And he also knows that we don't tell people because we live in New York City. So we're in a very open place, but it still doesn't matter. And he knows that we're open and I'm open, but other people aren't. And that's just the way that. And we know that's the same when it comes to race and it comes to so many different parts of life, right?

Yeah, it's like it's 100%. Yeah, so he knows we're open mind about everything, but most people aren't. And you'll hear gross things and terrible people exist that think terrible things, but we don't vibe like that in my house. And we're cool. So it's still a secret. And I do that for him too. I don't want him to deal with people.

Just protect him. Yeah, of course. Same with you. You have kids. Let me ask you this quick question. Like, you obviously have a lot of friends in the community, but you obviously probably have girlfriends out of the community. Mom friends.

Do any, do any of your girlfriends know what you do? So I'll start by saying I understand that I seem like I would have a lot of girlfriends. But I am very guarded because when I got divorced, I lost a lot of my friends. Because I live in a small town and a lot of our friends were married. So we were friends with a couple. And when there's a divorce, some people have to choose. Yeah, of course. And most of these women are very submissive to their husband, and their husband is going to be like, yeah, we're sticking to his side, not her side.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's like average human being nature. It is. And I get it, but it sucks. Like, I don't have a lot of friends. Yeah, that does suck. I used to have some friends.

Mm-hmm. But I just, people are so. judgmental and they use information like ammo. Mm-hmm. And it kills me to say that, but I don't know who I can trust half the time. I used to work with some people who I was very open with and they knew all about my life and they were like,

ooh, did you get tied up this weekend? And I would show them videos and stuff and they'd be like, that's hot. But they don't work there anymore. Of course that's how it works, right? Yeah. You have to be smart about it, which I get.

But you have what's great, though, about you is that you did when this became a big part of your life. You do have a lot of friends in the lifestyle. So it's not like you don't have friends. It's just that they're not in your vanilla life. Correct. Do you feel very fulfilled by this new community that you got involved with since your divorce and being in that world? It does sound like it did completely change you. What would you say?

So I have some mixed emotions with that. It is a beautiful part of my growth. It has taught me so much and has changed me. And it's changed my mindset from that swinger mentality, from that submissive mentality to this polyamorous mentality where I need those deep connections and things. So it made me stop and think about who I was sharing my time with, how I was sharing my time, who I was putting my love into.

because I'm that sensitive soul who will like, I may put spells on men, I don't know. I had somebody tell me, I did. I had a guy tell me I was a succubus. And he's, you want my dreams. And every time I see him, he immediately is like following me. I had another one of my guy friends tell me that at the club, I had a following of little puppy dogs.

Right. He's, yep, these puppy dogs. I was like, what? You're silly. And then I needed to get my phone. And I'm like, will you go get that for me? And he did. I go, thanks, puppy. So you do have a little bit of that. Go ahead. Sorry. Oh, go on. Well, it was just one of those fun, playful times where I'm like, okay, I have a little bit of a brat in me. And sometimes I can, I can be a little switchy. I can command things a little here and there. So it's fun to find your people. and your tribe in the lifestyle. And you do feel, though, I'm assuming that's a big change because you have found your tribe in that, considering you're from this super small town

and you have this really opened, minded view on things, it must be great that there is this world for you to connect with because how stifling would it be for you to live there? I know I grew up in suburbia, and every time I went through the bridge or the tunnel and was in New York, I felt like I could breathe because it was just full of more closed-minded people. I love New York because of the open-mindedness and the diversity and all that stuff.

So I think it is very hard to live in a place if you are very open. That is very stifling. Close-minded. Yeah, yeah. So you have this. So you're able, though, to go into that world and express that part of you, which must be, like you said, very freeing. It is. It's very freeing.

And that's also like with rope. rope gives me a lot of people would look at rope as constricting and scary and threatening when I get tied in rope I'm free oh my god as a claustrophobic I'm like you're fucking crazy maybe I need to get tied up to become not claustrophobic I don't know oh my god how are you free when you're tied up I would die because you're floating in air you're flying right And it's like you can feel like a butterfly. And you're giving up total control too. I mean, you learn that through BDSM.

That's a big part of BDSM. You know, that's what I learned when I started to do my show. A lot of people think it's, oh, just all the sex and crazy stuff. Yeah, there's sex involved, but there is so much mental stuff that goes down and subspace and what it's all about. And it really is about losing every part of control in yourself. And that's very powerful if you could get to that place. It's beautiful. And the person who I tie with, we don't have a sexual relationship. Like, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she, she's, we both,

we've kissed before and laid around with each other's nipples or something, but we don't have a sexual relationship. She ties me up and I trust that she's not going to kill me. Yeah. I mean, that stuff can be dangerous, especially if you fall or if there's certain circulation, certain nerves that are cut off, you can have permanent damage. So you have to be very educated in that too. Yeah. And you have to be with someone you trust. You're not going to go on a first date and let that guy tie you up, because we all watch Dateline, okay? Yep. This is a girl that you know and you could trust and you could go to that space. I'm going to wrap it up now, but I feel like I'll have you back on. We'll do a Girl Talk episode because you're so heavily involved in this lifestyle.

You're great. We're going to give a shout out to your podcast and stuff. But my last question would be like, what does your future look like? I'm assuming you would never be in a monogamous relationship again. If you could have a fixed set up, what would it be? Okay. I don't think I could ever be in a monogamous relationship again. But if I found the right person, I wouldn't need sex from anybody else, but I would not want

something like that to be off the table. table because I love the atmosphere so much. So I would love to find my partner that I could go to these events with and be free and be open. And I know sometimes when you first get in a relationship, the dynamic and the lifestyle changes a lot. Like you start saying, okay, if I wasn't using condoms, I'm using condoms. If I allowed somebody to kiss me on the mouth, well, this guy doesn't want me kissing on the mouth. This guy doesn't want somebody coming in my mouth. There are so many things you have to rework. And so sometimes you'll go into the lifestyle and just go in as an exhibitionist or a voyeur. And you'll say, I'm not playing right now. My husband and I or partner and I are building

our foundation together. And you get so strong that you are that couple that they walk in and everybody wants to play with you, but they know they have to be patient. And that's who you see you. That's who you'd want to be that couple. Oh, yes. Because I carry so much energy with me. I have people who at parties will come find me because they'll be like, I need to calm down. And they have high anxiety.

And they know that I have this calming manner. And I can bring people to a spot where they're like, okay, focus. And I can pull in this focus. I bring it all back to that whole energy healing that I've gone to. It's an amazing thing. but that's what I do. And I could see myself even changing career paths and going into the field of sex education, lifestyle education. I don't know.

Can I be a sex consultant maybe and do a podcast and write a book and get paid to go to these parties because people want to be around me? I know that sounds conceited. I don't think so. I think you've got to drink your own Kool-Aid. There's nothing wrong with that. Okay. Sorry. True. I like that. And that's, I feel like people are drawn to me. And sometimes, like, you can feel that. Sometimes there's jealousy in the lifestyle, which is ugly. Which is why I, one thing, you mentioned having a lot of friends in the lifestyle. I do. But I've also, I also have a lot of enemies in the lifestyle. Interesting. But that's out of the jealousy, like you're saying. It's out of jealousy and miscommunication. Or maybe intimidation deep down.

could be very easily could be but it's something where I have learned to find my own that I am like my brightest point I can't rely on friends to help me through it I have to remind myself that I have it all in me to be inspirational as you can at a lifestyle event when I pull out my notebook and write yeah I love that so listen I need you to give a shout out to your podcast because that's where people could go and get more of that education that you're talking about. I know that you also have an only fan. You're like, I don't have a lot up there, but like you should definitely give your only fans link, you know, your information. And then I will put everything in the description. And then I have a Patreon. I have over 2,200 people

signed up over there. And what people do that call into my show, like they send me anonymous picks. Like the girls always, like hot picks of themselves, if you could send me some picks for my Patreon, that would be great. always anonymous. And then I also have a Discord attached to that. Everyone on my Patreon has to pay to get in, but callers of my show, I give them free access to that. And you could go in there and you could post whatever you want in there.

That's where people get X-rated. And I started that because all my callers would just send me all their X-rated pics. I'm like, I can't post this shit on Patreon. You know what I mean? Like, well, that good idea. So I started this Not Safe for Work, Discord. It's like a place where everyone can upload their own stuff. People get super naughty.

And you could, besides posting anything you want in there, could also tell people like, hey, I'm Elise, and this is my podcast, and this is my only fans, and get people to tune into your shit as well over there. I will send that to you when your episode airs. Get me picks if you want to send sooner than later, because this will be up. And now give your shout out to your podcast, the podcast's name, and also to your only fans, and talk about that. All right. Well, I hope that I will have some new followers on my podcast, which is called Teach Me to Swing. And I just, talk about myself a lot and I talk about some lifestyle situations and just some real life shit.

And my only fans, the name is Star Elise, like S-T-A-R-A-L-Y-S-E. And I'm working on getting content up on both. Okay, good. Okay, but there's some stuff on there if people want to go. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, there's some hot stuff on there. Okay, cool. So you send me links to your stuff.

If you have a link tree or something that has them all, that's great. If not, no big deal. Send me the link to your podcast as well as the link to your only fans. And I will put it in the description. Okay. And listen, I love. Thank you so much. No, thank you.

I think you're great at talking. I probably could have said nothing in this whole episode and you would just went on. I love how much you know. And I love that you like educating about the lifestyle. So I do girl talk episodes every now and then. And I like to do them with like other podcasters or people that like to talk bigger pictures. stuff, right? So I'll definitely have you back on to do a Girl Talk episode. And we'll talk, like I said, the stuff that you really love to talk about. You could teach more things about the lifestyle

on one of those episodes because now we have your whole backstory. Yes, awesome. Thank you so much. I loved this. Yeah, this was great. Thanks, Elise. Thanks so much for calling in. And like I said, get me all that stuff ASAP, okay? And we'll talk soon. I will. All right. Thank you. Thanks, Lisa. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly not a Miss Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book.

Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book.

There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to be on the Strictly Anonymous podcast, because you have an interesting, naughty story to tell while we're meeting Anonymous. You could be on the show. Send me an email Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. If you have a naughty confession, call my confessions hotline [phone]. That's 347-4-203579.

You could call that number 24-7. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on either Instagram. or Twitter that's at Strict Anonymous. And if you want to sign up for my Patreon, you're not only supporting my show, but you're going to get all of these episodes early and ad free. You're going to get anonymous picks of all of my guests. Most of the girls send me in anonymous hot picks of themselves,

and some of the guys are sending me in anonymous picks as well. You also get access to my private Discord, where people are getting super naughty. If you sign up for my Discord, you could post whatever you want and talk to my other listeners. To sign up for my Patreon, just go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The links and everything else I spoke about are all in the description.

Thanks so much for listening.