Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 838 - Maria Used Ashley Madison to Cheat on her Husband and She's Still Using It

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

Maria used Ashley Madison to cheat on her husband and she's still using it and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including why she wasn’t happy in her marriage, how and why she wound up bringing up the fact that she wasn’t happy to her husband and how he reacted, why she didn’t leave him and chose to cheat instead, how she met a new guy to have an affair with and how long she saw him for, how her husband found out and how he reacted and why to all worked out, how she wound up dating the guy she was cheating on her husband with after her husband passed and why she eventually wound up leaving him, how and why she went back on to Ashley Madison when she was a widow to find a married guy to date vs. a single guy, how she advertised herself on Ashley and what kind of guys reach out to her, the guy she met and had a long term affair with and exactly what went down between them, how and why she’s never felt any guilt both when she was cheating and when she was dating the married guys, why she prefers the guys she meets on Ashley vs the guys she meets on other dating sites, how she enjoys helping other people who are in the same position in their marriages as she was plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous a pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's called strictly anonymous because most people are anonymous on my show. I change everyone's voices. You can make up a phony name. I change people's names. You could call me from a block number. I don't really care exactly who you are. I just want to hear your true story. So if you've got an interesting, naughty, true story that you want to talk about while remaining

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Just go to Patreon.com slash strictly. anonymous podcast. That's pachion.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Now listen, today I have on Maria. Maria's story is so interesting. Maria had affairs on her husband and now she hangs out with guys who are having affairs behind their wives back. So she understands affairs and cheating from both sides. Okay. But you're going to like Maria because she's like very clear about what she did and why she did it and why she continues to do it and and all of that kind of good stuff. She never did feel guilty. When she was with her husband, she wasn't happy and she brought that up to him.

He didn't want to leave her. So she eventually went out looking for somebody else and had an affair and had a long-term affair. Eventually her husband found out. She talks all about that. And then after her husband passed and she was a widower, she wanted to sort of continue on in the same kind of situation. went on to Ashley Madison looking for guys who were also married.

She talks about why she made that decision as opposed to just going on like Match.com. And she wound up having a long-term relationship with a guy who was married. So now she's on the other side of the fence. And she believed she was helping that person because when she had her affair, it really helped her and helped her marriage. She stayed with her husband until he passed. And she talks all about it. She does help people.

Okay. She told me, towards the end, she would love to help other. people live out their lives and be happier if they're unhappy. So if you want Maria's help after listening to this episode, email me. I'll send an email onto her because she'd love to do some coaching and stuff. But her story's super interesting. She gets all her action from Ashley Madison. She talks about it all.

She's very honest. Her story's unique. And so I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Maria. Hi, Maria. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm great. I'm great.

It's Thursday. I'm happy. Yeah, that's good. So listen, Maria, you're here to tell me your story. It's kind of unique. I love getting stories about women cheaters, not just guy cheaters. I have a podcast or friend that won't even have any cheater on her show. I like to hear stories about affairs and cheaters because I think it's important for people

to hear the whole story because sometimes everyone just assume someone's a cheater and they're just a fucking asshole and end of story, right? They don't get the details. You can't lump every cheater in the scene. category. On one end, you have the philanderer on another end. You have a guy that never cheated in his whole life, but he hasn't been fucked for 20 years and eventually he sees an escort. Like, you can't put those two people together. And with women, it's the same thing. Women cheat for all different kinds of reasons. Yours is very specific and super interesting. So I'm excited

to hear it. So let's go, I mean, you did wind up. And I'm going to tell the short story and then I'm going to get all the details. So basically, you were married for a really long time at some point. it just wasn't happening at home eventually your guy did get sick and he gave you a pass right but at some point you weren't really that happy and you did want to leave but he didn't want to get a divorce and you kind of had a free pass to have an affair and you did wind up have an affair and you went on to ashley madison and had somebody is that and found somebody is that like the short story you had a free pass or the first one the first one was actually somebody that I knew oh okay so let's so I didn't do Ashley the first time the second time I did it Okay, okay. So let's go all the way back. Okay, Maria. So how long were you married for and like how long into it did you start to feel like, oh, I need something more? The truth is, many, many, many years. Yeah, I know. He was not, he was not, he was a wonderful person, but he was not, to be honest, on the honeymoon, I knew that this was going to be a problem. But, you know, you think, okay, but you know what? You think, okay, fine, you're getting settled into life because in our day, okay, I will share, I am in my 60s. So go back in our day. We came from our parents' house. So it's not like we live together or any of that stuff.

So things that couples now, they live together, they get through that shit in the beginning and sometimes never make it to the altar. But we didn't. So we had to do the growing up while we were married. How old were you when you went on that honeymoon? Like how old were you when you got married? I was 24. He was 26.

Okay, cool. So anyway, but you know what? You give it some time. You give it some time, whatever. And it's funny because I would talk to some of my friends and they'd be saying, oh, my God, they had sex five times this week. And I would be like, hmm, that's not happening over here. I was patient, gave it time, whatever. Yeah.

So time goes on, time goes on. And then we moved and we got a house and you got the stresses of the house. And so you make excuses. You always make excuses, right? Uh-huh. Anyway, so my job was growing and growing, growing. We were a couple who couldn't really have kids in the beginning. and so add that to the list of stress.

It was him, not me. So add that to the list. And I said to this person that I was married to, and I said, listen, here's the deal. We're both healthy. Our parents both died young. Who gives us shit? Okay.

Who cares? I can't go the rest of my life and not have sex at 30-something years old. So my job is growing and growing, and I was always concerned that if I divorced him, that I'd be paying through the news. So then, miracle and miracles, I had my son. And he came early and was like the second coming because it took so long, it took 10 years for him to get there.

And we were so wrapped up in him and everybody was happy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we decided that he would stay home. And he would raise my son because he wasn't happy with his job. And financially we figured out that it would work. But a man staying home having nothing to do is not a good thing. Not a good thing at all. Don't call me at 7 o'clock in the morning when I'm on at work doing an audit. And don't call me at 7 o'clock in the morning to ask me with my son's mittens.

And as a matter of fact, I even went to companies have these EAP counselors. And I went to the counselor. And the counselor, who was a man, turned around and says, to me, I'm surprised a lady like you was not having an affair. I almost fell off the chair. Why? Because you were, what were you telling this guy? Oh, you were, this was like a therapist.

I was telling him I wasn't happy. And I was telling him that things were, he was more worried about my son's mittens than having sex. Yeah, but let me ask you this. Did you ever get to the root of why your husband wasn't into sex? He's a young guy. Yeah. Well, he had some, he struggled with his weight a lot, up down, up down.

And listen, nothing, nothing. the way I see it, and to this day, as I'm older now, listen, I don't care if you're fat, you're skinny, you've got to be happy with yourself. Okay? I'm going to love you no matter what. But if you don't love you, then we have a problem. So you think he was depressed, and that's why he didn't want to bang a lot? I think so.

I think there was depression. I think there was depression there. Okay. But anyway, so time goes on, okay. And 9-11 happens. And I was in the middle of that mess. Oh, when I saw this out. My window, I said, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, that could have been me. I picked up my bag. I screamed to my staff, and I said, guys, my fat ass is too close to this. We're out here. So I got everybody down. I got everybody outsh. And we started going in all different directions and blah, blah, blah, blah. And as the world crumbled before us, I made it uptown.

I didn't get home for two days. So when I finally got home, when I finally got home, He was in black already. I wasn't dead. He was in black already. And he started yelling about something stupid. Oh, the food didn't cook the right way. He cooked it.

And then that's Sunday. I get rid of him. I get rid of my son. And I said, you and I need to talk. And at that point, money didn't matter because I would have to pay him. Yeah. And I sat him down, and I said, here's the deal. Four hours worth.

And I said, I wanted divorce. And he said, please don't leave me. Get me help. And I said, well, here's the deal. I'm not promising you I'm staying. This, this, and this has to change. And if I stay, it's on my terms. And I haven't had sex in seven years.

And I am not going to live the rest of my life like that. And it's more about, it's not just about sex. It's about affection and intimacy and all that crap that he just kind of skipped over. And listen, let me just tell you it's very, it's the same thing for men to a lot of women think when men cheat. Because they're not getting fucked that, oh, they're just perverts. So sex is intimacy. There's so much that goes into that experience with a couple. It's more than just sex, even the sex, right?

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And hence why the rest of my story is going to be told. Makes sense. Yeah. So anyway, so I said to him, I said, listen, this is what's going to happen. So he went to a counselor.

And I also said to him, you're going to get a fucking job. I don't care if it's part of time, whatever it is. Get out of the house. And I said to him, it wasn't about, not. about the money. It's about you and your mental and feeling important. And not that I, not that I didn't, but it was funny because a lot of my friends, I told people, I tell my family, I said, listen, I'm telling them I want a divorce. And when they saw us all sweat and happy, they couldn't figure out what was going on. But at that point, I said, we're living on my terms

at this point. Right. And what were your terms? You get a job and I'm going to go fuck other guys. You get a job and I'm going to do what I'm going to do. So, yeah. what ended up happening was I had a friend who I knew from a long time ago and he had been divorced and he was with another relationship. So I used to try to find a girlfriend for him. And one day he was at my house and he kissed me and I said to this guy, what are you doing? Anyway, so this started my affair. Right. But wait, a quick question though. Let me ask you this, Maria, because you kind of just said like I had this conversation, it's my way or the highway. He agreed. but did you specifically straight up say,

hey, listen, I want to go hook up with other guys and he said, okay? This is what I said. If the right person passes in front of me, I'm going to have an affair. And what did he say? He didn't say anything. Did you feel like you had a straight up free pass

or was it kind of like gray? It sounds like it was kind of like. No, no, it was four hours. We're at the conversation. No, it was not. It was, I said I will always be respectful. And I did. I said, I don't know if this is going to work.

if it happens, at that point, I didn't have anybody on my horizons that I was thinking this would happen to. Right. But I said, I'm giving you a heads up. This could happen. Yeah. And I'm not going to turn it away if it does happen. Right. But he didn't want to divorce you, so he just agreed to it.

No. Yeah. Okay. I think he thought, to be honest. Yeah. I think he thought I was losing my mind because, listen, it was 9-11. It was 9-11. Okay.

And I think he thought I was being emotional. Yeah. And not that I'm an emotional person. Uh-huh. But anyway. So, P.S. time goes on. That guy kisses you. Yeah.

It was a friend. The friend. And I said to him, you can have a whole life. I said, you can have children because we were still in our early 40s. I said, you can have a whole life. Anyway, this went on for a few months. And now what also helped my situation, which is very important for couples to think about, is a lot of times if my husband wasn't feeling it, I'd go to weddings by myself, I'd go to parties by myself.

So these couples who say, oh, I'm not going to go to this party, I'm not going to do this. They're doing themselves a big injustice because it's a big opportunity for people to get out there and do something else. Yeah, and meet somebody else. I don't care who they are. I don't care who they are. Nobody would ever expect that me, somebody who once upon a time wanted to be a nun, okay, and led the straight and narrow life, somebody like me would do this. But when you are left to do things by yourself and go to parties by yourself and go to weddings by yourself, this shit's going to happen.

Yeah. It's going to happen. So anyway, so I was going to a wedding with my friend. And I came home one day and I said to my husband, I said, don't forget, tomorrow is so-and-so's wedding. And he takes off his glasses and he says to me, number one is I know it's not so-and-so's wedding, but I know it's your friends'-weigh. wedding and I know he's your boyfriend. And I go, well, I warned you. It was that guy's wedding? The guy that you were having an affair with he was going to wait? Oh, okay. Okay, but at this point, are you banging him? Because you kind of just went through that really fast. I kissed him and then a couple

months went by. No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. On a regular basis because he lived in the same town as my mom. So I would say I was going to my mother's house. Right. Okay. And I wasn't. So we had a very act of life. I'll tell you the truth. At that point, it wasn't out yet, but I was a much happier person. Yeah, because you're getting fucked. It relieves stress. And it's even more than that. So he said, I know what's your friend's wedding. So anyway, so I said, well, now you know who it is. And he stood up. And I said, well, what do you want to do? I thought he was going to strangle me. He kisses me on my forehead, and he said, leave everything the way it is. And I had a seven-year open marriage. Wow.

And I have to tell you, I was respectful. To this day, my son who is in his 30s has no clue. No clue. Listen, I was happy. He was happy, okay, from what I could tell. All right. We didn't fight. And it was just, it was like living with your brother.

Yeah. We were affectionate to a point, but I think it took the pressure off of him. Oh, yeah, for some reason. He didn't want to have sex. but he didn't want to leave you. Whether he didn't feel or whatever. Because listen, I'm sorry. Like, what other woman's going to deal with that too?

If he left you and went to somebody else, eventually she'd be upset with him too. Like for some reason, he knows on some level that he's not bringing a big thing to a relationship. So he might as well stay in the place where you like kind of figured out how to solve the problem. That's right.

That's right. And then what happened was, so about six months before he, because he passed away, but six months before, his health started to get really complicated. And I said to my friend, I said, listen, I know you're there for me, and he said it. I'm there for you. Maria, I'm there for you. You call me, whatever, whatever. And I saw him unless, so one day I was taking my husband to the hospital for something, a test. And he said, is that thing still in your life? And I said, listen, I said, I know this person since I'm five years old.

I said he will always be in my life as my friend, if not more, but you are my priority right now. And anyway, so surprisingly, six months later, he died suddenly. And so, within a month, I called my friend and I said, you're not going to believe this, but, and I told him what happened. And he goes, what do you need for me? I said absolutely nothing. I need to finish this chapter of my life by myself. So within a month, with even the support of my family, I took my friend out of the closet. And everybody really knew about him except my son.

And my mom, who was a young widow, who also remarried at one point, she kind of said to my son, listen, your mom is young. She's entitled to have a life. So my son was very respectful, very respectful. and so I had a wonderful life of this person for seven more years. Okay, so that affair turned into your relationship and you were out and proud with that guy at that point. Correct. Correct.

However, however, and we did trips together and we socialized together. It was great. Then Storm Sandy happened and he loses his house. It was a disaster. I hated him. Oh, my God, really? Yeah. So at that point, I said to myself, self, this ain't a good thing. This ain't a good thing. So hook and crook, I got this person to move back to Borkland. And eventually, a few months later, I ended it. And I said, I don't know if it was us living together or whatever, but I will always love you as my friend, but I cannot do this anymore. Of course, this person was devastated.

But in the meantime, I'm a planner. Okay? I'm a planner. In the meantime, three months prior to this, I went on Ashley. Because I said, I, having this person in my life was so good for my life and for my marriage and my mental. If I can be this person for somebody else, I think it's a win-win. and in my crazy you know what I'm saying?

So in my crazy kind of mind I said, you know what? Someday when I die, I'm going to wiggle myself through the pearly gate because I truly believe that doing this for somebody else

is a good thing. And you live too live too live. And my mother was a religious woman, trust me. And I said to her mom, I said, is it better that I should have divorced him? I said, if this works for us,

why not? And here I am convincing this very religious woman who had many children, you know, and, you know, who was a widow herself. I said, Tomah. You know, in her world, they would never think of doing this. But at that time, I said, ma'am, you know. So anyway, so I go on Ashley and I start looking, and I found somebody who had the same kind of situation. and his wife had medical issues, and he had no sex life, and there was no intimacy. They had no life, period, but he was in it.

Because, to be honest, I think because he wanted her pension when she retired for medical, and his daughter, he was petrified that his daughter would hate him. Oh, yeah, I hear it all the time. So many people don't want to upset the apple cart. They rather stay and cheat than leave. And I respect that because I was on the side of the fence, and I understand what people go through. So anyway, we met, and it started an eight-year affair. And I have to tell you, absolutely no regrets.

It was wonderful. It was wonderful. And what I find at this point in my life, so that lasted eight years, and we traveled together. We had a social life together. His friend used to say to him, I don't know how you are going to ever live without her, meaning me because he eventually did retire by the way COVID moved his knee surgery moved his retirement and he moved to the Carolinas but we had a wonderful wonderful eight years wonderful eight years and his wife had never had a clue never had a clue which is whatever I don't care I always watched

his back more than he watched his back to be honest yeah how was he spending all that time with you like where did his wife think he was well it helped it helped that he shift work. Right. And it helped that she was a teacher. And she was away every summer. She could give a shit about him. Right.

She left the minute that school ended and didn't come back until September 1st. Where'd you go? Like vacationing without him? She went to her daughter. She was up at daughter's ass. Oh, interesting. So they were married a long time and no spark there anymore. But none for years.

For years and years and years. and listen, I knew everything. I knew everything. As a matter of fact, let me tell you, one time I went to the house for a Christmas party. Talk about having bowls. Okay, slow it down. He invites you over as his friend while his wife's there for Christmas?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who are you? Who did he introduce you at? Somebody from work. Somebody from work. Oh, my God. Did you get off on that or like, why did you go? What's in it for anyone in that scenario?

I really was a little hesitant. Yeah, I was hesitant. I was hesitant. I was hesitant. I'm like, what's the house? No, no. He said, he goes, I want you to meet my daughter and I want you to meet family members. And I was a little hesitant.

When I told my friends, I thought they were going to pass out. Did your, did the wife look at you funny? Sometimes women have weird intuition. No, no, no, no, no. You know what the funny thing was? Yeah. The funny thing was, I played totally dumb to even know what the house was like, okay? I was there a lot in the summer.

And I totally played dumb to the house. And she goes, oh, she said, here, come put your coat in the bedroom. And she leads me in, leads me in. And I go, hmm, I've been here. Oh, my God. But you have to pretend like you've never been there. Where's the bedroom? Oh, where's the bathroom?

Where's the bathroom? Anyway, it was pretty interesting. It was pretty interesting. Do you know his experience before meeting you on Ashley Madison was he had other lovers? No, he had one. He had one that he met in a bar who almost three. ruined his life. And that was it. He did it once before. And he wasn't actually. It was somebody from a bar. And she was a bit too much of a drinker and almost got him in big trouble,

big trouble. So when you, did you go and Ashley yourself looking, or you went on to Ashley looking for men? You created a profile for yourself. Yes. Okay. And what, what did you put on there? Like widower looking for a taken guy? I put, been there. Basically I say been there done that. both sides of the fence. Life is not black and white, and I understand the gray, looking for a friend and more, because I don't want to put too much of the, because it's not just about sex. It's about a lot of things. For me, at my age, okay, for me, you've got to connect. You've got to connect, and then the other stuff will follow. If it's the right person, okay, if it's the right person, the other stuff will follow. And sadly enough, there's so many men out of the

there that are missing that part of their lives. And these women that think that they can just shut down everything, the intimacy, they don't even, even my friend of eight years, she didn't want to be touched. She didn't want to be touched. That's bad. That's bad shit. No, I know. I have a, on Facebook, there's like a benepause group and all these women just talk

about how they never want to fuck their husbands and their husbands are irritating and they all male bash and everything. And I'm always like, in my mind, I don't ever say anything, but I'm always like, and yeah, your guys are calling me up on my show and talking about how after 10 years are like looking to fuck someone else. Because even the most monogamous guy over time, what is he supposed to do? It's a real difficult situation. Whether it's a man or a woman, if you're denying sex or you're not interested anymore, what do you expect your partner to do? It's a real tough thing. And you know what else too? I say, you know what else too? It's not even just because here's the other thing.

I have a lot of friends that are my age, older, younger, right? And they are not married. They're widowed or divorced or whatever you have it, right? And they're like, they don't want to get into it. I can't imagine having sex with somebody after all these years, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, it's not just about sex. Yeah. It's about making a connection.

And I can use you. Half these guys can't even use their equipment. Okay? The ones you're meeting now you mean? I can't tell you. Okay. I got a whole education on penile implants. Okay?

Yeah, I just had a guy on. There's A, B, and C, okay? There are. So I said it's not even about sex all the time, but it is about intimacy. It's about kissing and touching and having a connection and laughing again and just enjoying people. And it's not about being whined and dying. Yeah, that's nice, okay?

But that's not, I can more than pay for my own dinner. Yeah. Okay. But it's not about that. It's about making a connection. And like I said to you, only because I was on that other side of the fence. Do I know what this feels like? Right.

I know what it feels like. Yeah, because some would say, why would you, okay, as a widower, now you're a free agent. You left that other guy. You could go on any dating app and find all those things you're looking for. But you specifically looked for somebody that was taken. And so somebody would say the question would be, why go to Ashley Madison instead of match-doc? I tell you why, because I don't want somebody up my ass. Right, that's what it sounds like.

And people who are of this age, okay, of this age, they are retired. They have a lot of time on the hands. I am not. I work. I work. I volunteer. I go out. I have friends.

I don't want somebody at my ass. I want to see you maybe once a week, once every two weeks. And when you meet people who are over 60, over 58, who are retired, they want you all the time. I don't want that. I don't want that. And I also, in my sick, crazy mind, feel that I am helping them stay in their marriage. Yeah, you did say that.

That's interesting, because you were on the other side, like you said. Yeah. Yeah. And you probably did. That guy. Are you still with that guy? Well, here's the deal. He moved.

He moved. But I will tell you, since he's moved, I see. him. I see him. Once in a while, he'll come here, or I will be traveling and we'll meet someplace traveling. So I do see him. He does know that I date other people because he can't expect me to stay and do nothing. Yeah. This Memorial Day, shop one of Avocados' biggest mattress sales of the year and fall in love with sleep again. At Avocado, better sleep starts with better materials. Our certified organic mattresses are crafted without compromise. using high-quality organic materials that bring comfort and support into perfect balance.

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or select retailers nationwide. Visit avocado mattress.com. That's avocado mattress.com. So we have an understanding, but I have to tell you, anytime I'm with him, it's like we never miss the beat. It's like we never miss the beat. Well, you were with him for a long time, right? Years?

Eight years. Eight years. Now, are you, like, when you say you're dating other people, are you still dating through Ashley Madison? Like, where are you dating? Mm-hmm. Same place. Yes. And what have those, what kind of guys do you find there?

Like, what? I have to tell you. Yeah. I will be very honest with you. Yeah. I'm on a few other sites. Okay. But I find here the most straight up, honest, no scammers, no foreigners, no foreigners.

These crazy people that do these crazy things. Scams, yeah. Straight up. Yeah. Straight up. And their stories are for real. They are in these situations where they can't either their spouses. Here's the other thing at this age, once again, their spouses are not well.

Right. They have spouses that are not well. And I always say to people, whether it be male, female, when you have a spouse who's sick, you need to make sure you take care of yourself mentally and physically. because there's no way you're going to be able to stand up. I was in those shoes, and I'll never forget crying to one of my friends saying, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I could do this.

But it was because I had my friend that kept me on the straight and narrow. So whenever I meet a lot of people at this age, whose spouse has Parkinson's, who has this, who has that, and they just want somebody to make them feel good. But I'm not a one and done. If I am going to go in a relationship with you, this is not a one and done. This is going to be something ongoing. So I kind of put them through the test, to be honest,

and I just get down to the bottom of what are you really looking for. Don't tell me you have a great marriage except you don't have enough sex. You just have it once a week and you want a five times a week. Keep walking. You're not for me. But if you have a situation where somebody has a spouse who is sick or their spouse has basically signed out and pretty much has said everything but go find another woman, you know, we'll talk about that.

Right. So the problem, and it's funny because I just had a date this week with such a nice guy for lunch. We met for lunch. And she basically has said everything but that, but he feels a little guilty. And I said, listen, you're a great guy. I said you're in this for all the right reasons, but you have to feel right about it. I cannot do that for you. Yeah, the last thing you want to be with is someone that feels guilty about being with yours.

Yeah, exactly, because that's not going to be good. No. So I said, you have to feel good about yourself. Yeah. Did you ever feel guilty at all, ever? I'm assuming never, ever. You know what I'm saying? I was going to be a nun.

How could I be doing this? But in my own crazy kind of mind, I felt that I had enough conversations, I had enough talks, it was getting me nowhere. and it was 9-11 that said, hey, life is too short. There are thousands of people who are dead. Right. Thousands of people. And you're screaming about how the meat's cooking? No, no, I'm done.

I'm done. Right. You would have gotten a divorce at that point, but it was more so because your guy wanted to stay and you had kids, you decided to stay and do this arrangement. And you know, too, he's funny because my other friend, my other friend that I was with the eight-year relationship for that moved, even his own friend said,

why don't you get a divorce? But, you know, his daughter has some medical issues. His wife had some medical issues. And I get it. I get it. Sometimes it's easy. What do they say? Cheap it, keep it, cheaper to keep him.

Same thing. Especially if you're in the driving seat, if you're in the driver's seat. It's also, and too, like I said to my mother, ma. I said, should I have uprooted and change my son's life? The whole thing is a big reason why a lot of people stay. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

And you have to have kids to understand that mentality to understand. You don't want to, like, the thought of ruining your kid's life or doing something that would make them so upset is hard as a parent. People do it, and I have such respect for people that do get a divorce. And, you know what? It's got to be. There are a few red flags. There are a few red flags. Somebody who's been divorced a few times or whatever.

But sometimes life is not black in life. And that's something that in my old age, when I think my old age, you know, when I, you know, when I, When I was first getting married, having an affair, any of us totally would have blown my mind. And I remember my thinking as a 24-year-old. By the time I got the 35, by the time I got the 40, and life happens, it's not black and white. I know. And people can be happy in different ways, and it's okay. It's okay.

You hear stories about somebody I know, her husband died in September. Well, guess what? three weeks ago they found it dead in the bed 68 years old, the beautiful woman. Dead, dead! Wow. You know, now these kids have no parents. So, you know what?

I'm going down, let me tell you. I'm writing my own obituary. I'm telling you right now, because I've got to get the last word in. Yeah. However, I just tell people, be happy. And it's hard for people who have either bidded through a divorce or who have lost a spouse to get out there again.

I know that that's hard for many people, but it's not impossible. You've got to give it a shot. Let me ask you this, though. What do you say to the person that is where you were before you had that conversation with your husband? It was like 9-11 kind of pushed you over the edge to really open up and say, hey, listen, I'm not happy and I want to do something about it. There's so many people that are like right there. What would you, like, would you recommend being honest about what you want and how you want it

and asking for that free pass, what would you say to somebody? I'm very honest about, I say to people, you should do this. Either get a divorce or you need to do something to change your life. Right. And it's more, to be honest, I have more conversations with men about this stuff than women. And I see, you need to be, but don't be stupid. You have to be realistic. I meet people who live in Philadelphia, right, through Ashley.

And they're like, distance doesn't matter. You would jack? Yes. Of course it matters. If you, okay, the reason why my relationship worked was the guy lived a half hour for me. Right. Okay? And he had a work schedule that warranted that he could get out.

If you've never gotten out before and you don't go out at night and all of a sudden you're going to start going out at night, no, no, no. You've got to be smart. If you want to do this, you've got to be smart about how you do it. And it has to be realistic. Well, listen, you were very honest about it because it, because it wasn't like really when you were seeing that first guy that you were really cheating. That's why you didn't feel guilty.

Well, the beginning I was. In the beginning I was. I didn't tell him. I said, I'm going to do it. He didn't know I was doing it until I think somehow he cracked into the computer. And that's how he found out. So in the beginning, he didn't know. I think he thought I lost my mind, to be honest.

I think he thought, okay, Maria's just lived through 9-11. the place where she used to work got hit. So I think he thought I was having a moment. Yeah. Okay. And I did it, and I was trying to think of how long I did it before I actually got caught. And I had no idea which way this would have went. You're talking about a pretty thick, strong-minded Italian man.

I wasn't sure which way this was going to go. How did you get caught, quote, unquote. You got caught? I don't know. I think he cracked into the computer. Because remember, when I said to him, oh, I'm going to so-and-so's wedding tomorrow. Yeah.

And that's when he said, no, you're not. You're going to so-and-so. You know, your new boyfriend, and I know he's your boyfriend. And I was like, well, wow, I want you. Well, listen, don't you think that unless someone's, like, totally dumb, like that, if somebody is in a sexless marriage and suddenly they're getting, not just sex, like you keep saying, it's not just the sex that you were getting, you were getting companionship, you're getting all this other stuff that's filling up this big,

a hole that was there before. Don't you think you kind of changed? Probably he's kind of solid. I was happy. Why is she? Yeah. Why she's so fucking happy? Yeah.

A lot of times those are the tells. Yeah, those are the tells. You know what I say to people? Yeah. Is this should give you a reason to put your feet down in the morning and have that extra jump. Mm-hmm. And when I enter a relationship with somebody, I say, did it give you the extra

hop today? And they're like, yeah, it looks like it really feels good. Yeah. Knowing that somebody cares about you in a different way. Yeah. And so that's for me. That's what it's all about. And I'm telling you, I will go to the pearly gates and I will sell my story.

And I'm telling you, it's going to work. Because you don't, like what you're saying is you own it and you don't feel bad about it and you're clear about it. And I think that's all that matters. I always say there's no sort of moral compass that everyone has to follow. Everyone has their own sort of rules and regulations. I think the worst thing to do is to do something that you think is wrong. like that guy that you said you want to date it with and he's I feel guilty like then don't do it you know what I mean right but you know so but I think if you don't feel guilty and you kind of put it on the table your situation your story is super unique in that you kind of did sort of say something about it and you were somewhat honest but you still own it and I love that because you didn't feel guilty ever even when you kind of were cheating in the beginning like you said you weren't cheating but you didn't feel guilty

Yeah. And then funny. So I had two, right, I had one on one side of the fence, one on the other side. And then after my friend moved, I went on a regular day. You had two guys? Well, no, no, no. Remember, the guy after my husband, the guy I deeded while I was married. And continued, it continued, right? And then after we broke up, because he moved in with me, then after we moved, I had the next guy. Okay. So after the eight years, that was into COVID time. So I went on match, and I met a guy who was divorced. But you're going to crack up when I tell you this. I met a guy who was, and he was retired.

So I said to this guy, I said, listen, Sam, I said, you're retired. You have a lot more time than you than I do. I said, why don't you keep looking? He said, no, I'm not that kind of guy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Love bombed me tremendously. Within a few, he brought me candy on the first date because he knew I like chocolate-covered jellies. Then my next month was Valentine's Day.

He brought me tickets to see a show and then COVID hit. Little did I know that this was another sexless situation. Sometimes people compensate. So it was, but he was a nice guy. We were into COVID and we did a lot of things together. And I'm saying, oh, my God, here we go. And he was such a nice guy. And it's funny because when we were talking, and he said he was divorced, and I said, listen, I'll take a dead spouse any day.

And he looked at me. And I said to him, how pleasant was your divorce? And he said, it wasn't. I ended up in the hospital. I said, there you go. Right. I said, dead is dead. There's nothing to discuss.

So anyway, so what happened was we started dating. And I said to myself, oh, boy, this is not going to be a good situation. So after a few months, I was going to dump them. Why did you feel like it was not going to be too nice, too available to? No, no intimacy. None, right, yeah. And I used to say to this guy, I knew he had a medical issue. Yeah.

Okay. Men with diabetes, not a good situation. Yeah, no, I know that. But there's other things. There's other things you can do. And having that conversation with somebody is tough. It's a tough, tough thing, as opposed to just walking. And so I was going to break up with them.

And then we got into the holidays. And I said, I can't do this around Christmas time. That's terrible. Then we went to the next year. Well, a year and a half in, I finally said, I can't do this anymore. So when I said, he said, I was kind of pulling away little by little. And we went away together. And you're going to love this one.

So he says to me, I went to the just. doctor, he gave me pills. And I said to him, you could shove those pills up your ass. Unless you learn to be intimate and kiss, I don't give a shit about your pills. Right. You don't just want a heart up. You want the whole experience. No, no. Exactly. Exactly. So finally, I had had enough and I said, I can't be nice anymore. So when the day came, we went to dinner and he said, are you okay? I said, no, I'm not okay. I said, I can't do this anymore. And he said, would you consider couples therapy? I said, there's nothing wrong with me. I said, what are you crazy?

And I said, listen, you're a really nice guy, but you're not giving me what I need. And that was that. Are you with anyone right now? I have a few on the list. I have a few on the list, but not anybody who's checking off all my boxes. Let's put it that way. Yeah, listen, it's hard to find that right guy because you like to be, when you find somebody that checks off all your boxes, you do stay with them for a long time. You do prefer that, right, than to have men.

Many randoms, of course. I think most women roll that way. Now, where are you looking for guys now? Are you still on Ashley Madison and Matt? I am. You're all over the place? I'm on Ashley, and then I'm on. There's another one that I was on Silver Singles. Match is too complicated. It is? It's a little complicated, yeah. So I may, I was on it. I was on it. And that's where I met my after COVID sexless adventure. I would assume most of the guys on Match are there because. they're in the sexless marriage to begin with. So they're looking for sexes.

You're not going to find a sexless guy there, I don't think. You know what I mean? Yeah. But what I've had spoken to people who are dating coaches. Yeah. And what they say is if you want to, you know, a real, real relationship, you need to go to a paid site. And you have, that's what I tell people whenever anybody asks me,

is you go to a paid site. And why do you think that is? Because there's a financial investment. Yes, yes. That's what I've been told. That's what I've been told. So that's kind of what I advise people, my nieces, my this, my that. But kids now are different. It's different now. Well, you're looking, you're not looking to get married, have kids, all that kind of stuff. So it's a very different specific thing. And you want to meet people that are where you're at, right? So that's what's so great that there are all these different apps out there nowadays because they could suit different lifestyles. It's different when you're young and you're looking. Like, listen, you picked your husband. and for a lot of reasons, right? You needed to have kids and get all that shit checked off. I don't need that anymore.

It's a totally different thing. The other thing is you're not the person now that you were when you were at 24. I know. And that's kind of what I tell people. I say to people, listen, I am looking for a very different kind of person now than when I was 24. Yeah, there's a few core things about people, but I'm not looking to have babies. Okay. I always went for a taller man.

It's okay if they're not tall. It's okay. Yeah. I need them breathing. And I'll be honest, because the other thing you're going to crack up, my fear at this age, I don't want anybody dying in my bed. Right. I'm asking for, I feel like I need to get a doctor's note.

Yeah. I feel like I need a doctor's note. Because let me tell you, I had a close call with that one. Really? And, yeah, I had a close call years ago. And there was somebody who I knew from town. And I was running an event for the town. And this person was dying.

to get into my house. And they had to drop off a check. And I said, just leave in my mailbox. No, no, no, no. Right. Anyway, blow it off, blow it off, blow it off. Would not, would not let this person in my house. Do you know that night the guy died?

Oh, my God, scary. But you, so if he was with you, he would have died in your house. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. So that's, as you go into this age of our lives. Yeah.

You know, that's something that does cross. my mind. I kind of even do a medical check asking some questions as part of my date. I'm diabetic. Everything I need to know because listen, that's not a good thing. Do you get, tell me how, because you did say you do recommend for people to pay and everything like that. How is Ashley Madison set up? I'm assuming you pay to get in there. Women do. Women do. Oh, okay. Okay. So you know that those guys are serious because they're paying to get on. Yes, yes. And like I said, I meet the most straightforward people on that site.

Yeah. Now, you know, I just threw a whole big thing with somebody who was down like Cherry Hill, almost Philly. And I said to them, a nice, nice guy, nice, nice guy. Once again, wife older, sickly. And I said, listen, I really want to help you out here, bud. I said, you sound like a great guy, but you're far. It's not practical. It is not practical. So I don't do this just for the hell of it. I want another eight-year friendship.

Right. And until such a time, until such a time, I have a spreadsheet. So you know what you're looking for. Do you get a lot of hook? Do you get a lot of guys in your inbox on Ashley Madison? Are there, like, is it kind of like not so many women on there? So you get like tons of dudes. You know what?

I get a lot because my profile is so realistic. Interesting. They can tell because of the way I write it that I'm a real person which says, and that's K. What does it say? Hold on. I'll pull it up. I just got another one right here.

But anyway, that's besides the fact. Another guy in your inbox? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well done. Okay, so this is it. Okay, about me. Been here, done that. Had an affair while I was married

and honestly saved my marriage until I became a widow. while widowed now for many years, I find that many men my age are retired and looking for a nurse, not me. I recently saw this comment, loneliness of a cold marriage is even lonelier than being alone. I get it. Please understand me. I'm not looking for one and done. I have a nice life, many friends volunteer, and I'm actually a good person.

I know how rewarding this can be with the right person, is that you. Love it. Your life is a story. Your life is a story. What's done is done. Where it goes from here is totally up to you. Write your own ending. Quote, distance is an issue. Please know that. One more thing. It's about chemistry. And without that, there's no way any of this could work. Are you up for the challenge? Be close enough for coffee and a kiss. Love it. And you put pictures of yourself because you're out and proud, right? You're not like hiding yourself or anything like that, right? No. No, I pull out full disclosure.

Yeah. People should. copy your your your your she copy that. Ah it's so perfect. It's really well written. It gets right to the point. It tells you every specific thing which is really great right. You're putting your deal breakers on there and stuff which I think is important, weeding out the trash ahead of time. Yep. And then and then when you get these people and I ask did you read my proof? Like they'll say whatever. Are you married or whatever? I said, did you be in my profile? I said go back and read it and then come back and talk to me. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Don't just look at my picture.

Yeah. And listen, I'm not, I'm not a small woman. And I'm a curvy miss. I'm a curvy miss. And I make no bones about it. Yeah, well, listen. So it is what it is. If you don't like it, keep walking. Tons of guys like it. It's obvious now. Okay. Come on, please. Yeah. We live in a different world now. Everybody, we all realize everyone likes all different types of things. That's right. And you know what else too? I also. say to my friends or whatever, people who say I want to date or whatever, you need to be confident

about who you are. Totally. Okay? Nobody's perfect. Nobody's perfect. These men aren't perfect. I sit on the beach and I say, oh, my God, look at this. I'm like, and this person's going to pass judgment on me?

I don't think so. You need to be confident about who you are and what you look for, and it's not the end of the world. And if somebody, I have a friend who she's been trying to date forever. And this is wrong with this person, this is wrong with that person, this is. And I say, are you so perfect? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Right. The fact of the fact that I think they're in that case, but that's besides a thing.

But listen, there are pots for every cover. And also, too, you can't, listen, I have a lover that I see once every few months. He's 45 years old. How do you mean him? Ashley. Oh, okay. Years ago, years ago. And we see each other every few months, and it works.

It works. He's smart. He's smart. We have a relationship. We have a friendship, and we do more. Right. But he's like a guy that you kind of like, he's like a booty call kind of guy. You don't consider him like that companion that you're looking for.

No, no. And you want to laugh. One day, one day he's this person said to me. he said Maria, maybe we should go on a cruise together. I almost choked because he's an introverse and I am an extrovert. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm like, I was choking. I was choking that this individual said, maybe we should take a cruise together.

I was on, I fell off the chair. Oh, my God. You're like not looking for that from you. I humor, humor. Yeah, I love your conviction. I love how clear you are about how you. roll and what you do and you have no regrets and you're still living your fucking life. I heard some menopause expert talking recently about how like women that still enjoy sex

after menopause, they have certain things in common. And one of them is they just feel comfortable in their skin and feel great about their body still. And I think what unfortunately happens a lot of the time after a woman gets in menopause is the body does change. And then people, women feel very uncomfortable and unaccepting of it. and that ruins it for them. But flaws in all for you, you know what the fuck you are.

But you feel good about yourself and you feel confident and you own it. And that's what it's all about. And that's why you're still enjoying sex, companionship, all that stuff that goes with is still having guys in your life. And you're still open for more. Yeah. I think it's such a great story. Like I said, I've had many cheaters on my show. I like these episodes because I think people could learn from them.

And listen, if you ever, I always. Listen, I'm open to talking to people about this in my everyday life, depending on my everyday life. I am pretty open. I coach people. I love it. Well, if you do, you're going to get a lot of guys reaching out, Maria. How do I get in contact with you?

How do they get in contact with you? We can. And I could forward it to somebody. Email you and you forward to me. Okay, okay. We'll do that. I mean, I think that the thing is, once again, because I'm surrounded by so many as we get older people are dropping dead every minute.

And you've got to be happy. At the end of the day, you have to be happy because you only go around once in this life. Totally. You know, my mother, my mother lost my father very young. And she raised very strong, independent kids. Yeah. And never knowing, I mean, who would have ever thought that I'd be walking the same path? And once again, they raised.

raised very religious. I was going to be a nun. Two of my friends became nuns. And I still connect with the nuns. A few years ago, a few years ago, I spent a weekend with 40 nuns. I got to tell you, I loved it. I just had to clear up my trash mouth and be careful about cursing.

But I loved every minute. And I'm floating around with these nuns in the pool. And I'm going, if they only knew. If they only knew. But listen, I know. I think if I could give a course and not get myself killed, I would do it. I think there's an opportunity here, and I would love to help people. Well, you are going to help people, because trust me, I have a very big audience,

and people are going to be emailing me, okay, and I'll send them on to you. I have to say, I do some private calls on the side. They're paid calls, and typically what those guys are calling in about are the guys you need to be talking to. I'm in this marriage. it's not working. I want to meet somebody else. How do I do it?

It's a lot of that kind of stuff. So whether it's a man or a woman, email me and I'll put you in touch with Maria. I think Maria is fucking the one to talk to. You've been there, done that. You've been, like you said, on both sides of the fence. You understand it. And there's no judgment about it.

Exactly. But once again, what has to be, and I can use you. Use something else, too. I've had this happen more than once. and I could weed out the religious, you know, the religious, sometimes the religious. And I say to them, you are not looking for a friend. You're looking for a prostitute.

Right. I said, go look at another direction. Right. What you want is not on my agenda. And I say to people, you don't want a relationship. You don't want the connection that leads to other things. You want a fucking prostitute. Go.

That's what you need. And sometimes they get offended that I say that. But I said, listen, I'm hearing what you're saying, and this is what you're saying to me. Right. And it's apples and oranges. It's very different. It is very, very different. But you're here to talk to, like, you want to talk to the people that are looking for what you were always looking for.

That's what you have experience in, like a connection. Right. Something that's going to fulfill you and make you happy. So, you know, live life kind of thing. So those people should email me. Exactly. And if you think this is something that might or might not, send it my way and I'll talk to them. I will. I'll feel them out. I'll fill them out. And I think once again, like I said, the original reason I went on Ashley was because when I had that relationship after 9-11, when I had that relationship then ended up continuing. And like I said, I never expected my husband to go for this ever in a million years. But he did. And that's not always the case. But you've got to be smart. You've got to be smart about it. It's very interesting. And like I said, what I love about it is it's, you're very clear. I love nothing more than people who have conviction for what they do and are cool about it. And that's what I, you know, not only do you have a great story, it's, you have a great attitude about it. And it's very unique.

I think so. Yeah. I think so. And if I can, if because of, what I've been through. I can help somebody else. To me, it's a win-win. It's a win-win. I'm in a humane position what I do on my professional life. So I have heart. I have a heart. And I want people, because I knew what it felt like to have a spouse that wasn't engaging and was then ended up being sick. So I know what that feels like. All of it. And it ain't fun. It ain't fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And whether They're not engaging for whatever reason. And then on the other side of the fence, if you have people coming to you saying,

oh, I want nothing to do with them anymore, do you really think that by disengaging, he's going to want to stay? So on the other side of the fence, one time I was at a party, I know you've got to go, one time I was at a party, and these girls are bitching a moment about their husband,

and I go, listen, sweetheart, if you think by you not given him affection and love and sex, he's not going to look someplace else, you are very wrong. I know. Very wrong. I know. Yeah, yeah, I know. Maybe a handful, maybe a handful, but let me tell you. Even those guys after 10 years, everyone has a breaking point. Even the most monogamous of people sometimes will wind up there. It's because what are they supposed to do? It's a real tough thing. That's why I like having these conversations. You are going to get some emails. I'm going to send them your way, Maria. Thank you so much for calling in.

It was such an interesting, like I said, unique story. and I think it will be helpful for other people. And anyone that wants Maria's help, email me, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at Email.com. Everyone knows my email. And I'll forward it to you, okay? Okay, great. Awesome.

Thanks so much for calling in and telling your story and being so open and honest about everything. Thank you. Bye-bye. Email me. Okay. All right, bye, Maria. Bye.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available. not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story.

Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third. third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint,

okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content, with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.