Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 874 - GIRL TALK: Leanne on Sleeping with her Mom’s BF and her Cum Aversion?!

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Leann has been sleeping with her mom’s best friend and she has a cum aversion and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how much older her mom’s friend was when she started sleeping with him, how and why she wound up in bed with him and what went down the first time they hooked up, how they both felt about it and how and why it continued, her baby daddy and what she found out about him that floored her, her issues with alcohol and how and why led her to quit drinking recently, how she’s in therapy and things she can do to stay sober and work through her past trauma, how and why she has a very strong aversion to cum, all the things she has tried to get past her aversion and why none of them have worked, how her boyfriends have felt about her not being able to give them head plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of LUCY plus see anonymous pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a naughty, interesting secret light that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, you could be on the show. Some mean email, strictly anonymous, podcast at gmail.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com, and click on be on the show. Now, if you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my naughty confession line, you could do that 247. The number is 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579.

Do not call me when you're fucking driving. I will never use those confessions anymore. They just sound like shit. Call from a quiet place. the phone up to your ear. You got four minutes, leave a message. And if you need longer, just call back. I change the voices there now, too. Now, some of those confessions make it on to a naughty confessions episode. The rest of them go on to my Patreon. And my Patreon is a really great, fun community that you could join. It is now $7 a month, and you get a ton for that. You get all the

anonymous picks of all of my guests, practically every single female has such in a sexy hot pick of herself over there. You also get all the anonymous confessions. You also get Q&A's where I answer questions that people have for me. You also get all of my episodes early in ad free. And you get access to my private Discord, which is a great community as well. What's great about Discord is you get to post stuff yourself, picks, videos, whatever you want. There's a lot of different channels and there hookup channels, buy channels, general question channels, picks of guest channels,

naughty picks of listener channels. It's all going down to my Discord in order to get access to everything I just told you about, including my Discord. Just join my Patreon at $7 a month. We can't sell at any time. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. I also wanted to tell you about sdc.com.

That is the Swinger Lifestyle Dating app that I recommend the most now. I get to offer all of my listeners a free trial. That's SDC.com. Use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on a link and you're going to get a free trial of SDC. And what's great about SDC is it's not just a hookup app where you're going to find other like-minded hot people. It's also a place where you're going to get to be in the know of all the lifestyle events and meet and greets and swingers parties and all that good stuff in your area. And you're going to get a free trial.

So just go to the description, click on the SDC link, or go to stc.com and put in my code 37712. Now, I did beg for reviews recently. Thank you to everyone that wrote a review. Thank you to everyone who just pressed five stars. I saw I got a ton of them. So keep doing it. It really helps the show. Okay, so today I have on Leanne.

I effing love conversations like this. This is like a deep one and intense one, a funny one. It's got so much to it. It's got everything to it. These are the conversations I live for why I started my show. Leanne called in to talk about two separate things. One is that she's been banging her mom's friends since she's 18 and she's 33 now. The other thing was that she has such an inversion to Jizz,

that she cannot even blow a guy. Even if he doesn't jizz in her mouth, she cannot the anticipation of it. She's horrifying. But we wound up talking about more. She recently got sober. We talk about that. We talk about exactly how she wound up with her mom's friend, banging him.

She still bangs him to this day. We talk all about that. We talk about the fact that she got sober. We also talk about her baby daddy, which has a crazy backstory. She kind of like threw it out there. And she's like, that's a whole other story. I'm like, no, you got to tell me that story. The story's crazy.

And then we end talking about her adversion to Jizz, what she hates about it. And why she wants to conquer it. She really wants to not hate it. And she really wants to be able to give a blowjob. But she can't. And she really wants to give a shout out to my listeners asking for how. So if anyone listens to her story, I get all the details out and they have help for her. Email me, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com and email me your suggestions to help her because she's on a mission to conquer that.

But right now she's conquering a lot of things because she just got sober. You're going to love her, this conversation. It's super interesting. She's great. The story's got a lot of layers to it. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Leanne. Hi, Leanne. Welcome to the strictly non-average.

Thomas podcast. How are you today? Hi, I'm fine. How are you? I'm good. I love doing like girl talk episodes. I love to girls. You do listen to my girl talk episodes. We're going to talk about two different things today. One is a little salacious. Like you have been begging. Your mom's friend. It's a guy or a girl. A guy. Yeah, a guy. Like for a very long time. Like it started when you were super young like 18 you wind up hooking up with your mom's friend and you've been banging him on the d l ever since and so it's a long time now the other thing and we'll get all the details and then the other thing is you have the opposite of what every guy loves which is a com fetish you have a calm adversion you are so anti-com you don't eat oysters either right you listen to that episode where i was like

yeah you don't you can't handle cum in any way shape or form that you just cannot even give blow jobs we're going to work through that problem here. I'm going to get a lot of information on that because it's super interesting. But let's start with the salacious affair kind of thing you've been having with your mom's friend. Do you want to go there first? Yes, we can go there first. What would you like to know? Everything.

Yeah, well, let me ask you this. Okay, so first of all, Leanne, how old are you right now? So I could get a gauge of how long you've been banging him. I am 33. You're 33. Okay. So you've been, and you've been sleeping with him. him when you're 18. Okay, so now, first of all, who is this guy to your mom? It's just like her

guy friend. Was your dad in the house at the time, or are you raised by a single mom? Who is this guy friend of yours? I was raised by a single mom. My dad was in the picture, but they were never living together. Oh, okay, cool. So she had this guy friend. Now, do you know if your mom ever banged this guy friend? She hasn't. I did question that for quite some time, but no, they haven't. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Now, did you know if your mom ever liked her guy friends? I don't. I don't know the answer to that one. I would assume I would have known. But what about the guy friend? Did you ever think he had a crush on your mom? Because some people

say, listen, you can't be, guys and girls can't be friends. They totally can't be. But I do think a lot of times, like, if the woman's hot, like the guy friend probably would bang her if she wanted to. Like, the girl holds the power. You know, do you know if that guy ever was into your mom? No. To my knowledge, that has never been the case. I think if it was, then something would have definitely happened and me and him never would have. Got together, yeah.

So let me ask you this now. My next question would be how old were you when he first entered the picture? I know you started sleeping with him at 18, but like when was this guy around your house that you started to get to know him? I knew him on and off since I was a teenager, so I'm 13 onwards. Okay. My mom has been friends with him since she was younger. Okay, so it's like her lifelong friend. Yeah, which makes it sound different worse.

I don't know. I don't know. Let's get the details. We love worse on this show. The more salacious, the better. Who else are going to tell the story too? Okay, so this guy's been around since you're a teenager. Now, did you ever get weird vibes from him when you were like really young?

Or was he always just normal? And then things changed when you got to be older, like 17, 18 years old? No. There was never any vibes like that off of him. We've always got on. But it was never, never anything inappropriate. Was he married? He was in a long-term relationship at the time this started.

Oh, interesting. so he was cheating on his girl. Yeah. Okay. So now, okay, so lead me up to the time that you start banging him. Did it, was there sort of flirting that started before? Like, how did it wind up that you guys are in bed? This was completely out of the blue one night.

There had been nothing prior to suggest. But this was 2008 that we had been drinking one evening. But you and him alone? Why were you in him alone drinking? Like this is your mom's friend, you're young, he's way old. Oh, how old is he, by the way? How much older than you is he? He was 43 at the time.

Okay, so how are you in a 43-year-old guy like drinking alone? I know, this sounds really awful. We, I'm trying to explain it the best I can. We, in October 2008, we had a major loss in a family. Oh, okay. That kind of blew my family apart. it was such a really difficult time. He was also close to the person that passed away.

And this night we were drinking because I became, I'm trying to explain it the best I can. I became the go-to family member, even though I was so young. No, that happens. Yeah, that happens because the parent falls apart. And then the kid a lot of times has to start parenting. They're the one that has to be the rock because it's, and it's a very, Listen, it happens and it's very common, but it's a very unnatural thing to occur, right? And it's very hard on the child because you're not supposed to be an adult at that age.

But it happens because your mother was just devastated from whatever happened. I've heard that story before. Yeah, that's exactly how it was. So how I dealt with everything at the time was to just drink. Of course, yeah, to get away. Yeah. Yeah. Because listen, you obviously.

You had a double thing going on, right? Because you were obviously also dealing with this incredible loss. So you have that. Yeah. And then you have this burden of feeling this responsibility to keep this family intact, which is another thing. So you're like doubly fucked at that point. I get it. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Everything fell to me at that point. Well, everybody else was falling apart. So that was how I dealt with it at the time. I would just drink to forget. and to ease the pain, so to speak. So that's how we ended up drinking alone one night. We was reminiscing, we were talking.

And strangely enough, I was trying to arrange another booty call with somebody who I had been sleeping with him regularly at that time. Uh-huh. And he knew what I was doing. And the conversation went on from there. And I didn't end up going. and the next thing I know, me and him have started kissing, and then he's in between my legs for ages.

And that's all that happened the first time. He just did that. Yeah. Well, listen, sex could be no different than alcohol in that it could really sort of take you out of yourself and numb you out, and it's a great escape as well. So I feel like for you in that moment, you were going to take it anywhere you could get it if it was offered, right?

Like you were trying to check out as much as. possible and get a break from your fucking reality, which I get. That makes sense. And for him, were you like a hot 18-year-old? I would like to think so. Not that hot at 18. He's a guy. He's devastated too.

And maybe he's going through the same thing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they were really, really close at the time. But I had been for years as well. So that's where I think that night, I definitely needed. did the intimacy and the escape of it all. Yeah, of course. And maybe he did too.

I think some people will look at like the man and always think, oh, that's really terrible. But he has feelings too, right? So I don't, I don't believe that he was just taking advantage of you. He wasn't some guy off the street that was pretending to give a shit what you were feeling. He was feeling it too. He was going through the same thing. So if we're going to afford you the luxury of saying, hey, she did this because she needed to check out, you were emotionally dealing with something.

He was probably going through the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, and that's what we were speaking about. We'd never really spoke on that level before. It was always friendly banter type thing. It was never anything more than that. And I did actually look up to this guy, and I still do. We're still really good friends.

And yeah, and it's still going on to this day. and I did actually look up to this guy and I still do. We're still really good friends and yeah and it's still going on to this day. But okay, so wait. Now, do you go all the way with him that first time? No, not the first time. The first time he ended up going down on me for what felt like an eternity. It blew my mind.

Completely blew my mind. So, yeah, the first. time we were ever intimate. Okay, so but you didn't bang him that time, but let me ask you, after that first time, because this is kind of inappropriate if you're looking at it from the outside, right, and you're not in, in all your feelings that you guys are growing. So someone would say, oh, how did you, my question would be like, when you got out of that feeling and you were back to reality, were you like, what the fuck did I just do? Did you guys have a conversation about it? What happened the minute you guys weren't horny anymore? That's exactly what I said. I woke up

the next morning and I was like, did I dream this? What the fuck did I do last night? Yeah, crazy, right, yeah. I didn't want to text him. I didn't want anything to do with him at that point. Of course, yeah. Yeah, I was hung over and I definitely wasn't feeling great. So, yeah, we did speak the day after he came to the house.

He's like, I can't believe it. I said, well, neither can I. Yeah, we had a conversation. He did say that he didn't want it to come across, he took advantage and and then he said I was his his exact words where your pussy is mine now

oh god I'm sorry but that's a little like you know in one sentence he's I don't want you to feel like I took advantage but in another sense I want you to be mine oh my god yeah yeah oh my god I don't know I've never heard anything like that at the time what

I've never heard or been spoken to like that ever yeah that's a little what's that word? It's a bad word. It's called grooming. Because like he's, listen, you got to understand. Like he's so much older, right? And you're like this really young girl. Like I was seeing it like you're both in a vulnerable position. But the next day, you're back to being who you are. But you're still like super young. And you're way more vulnerable than him. You're way more suggestive.

You're in the weaker position just because of your age. And he's more in the power position. And at his age, he should be thinking more than. that. He should have been like, oh my God. The story could have went two ways. He was like, oh my God, that should never happen again, but you wind up, keep going back because you can't help because you're so horny. I would understand that more than him saying. It's a little worse than him coming back the

next day, not drinking dick drunk anymore and being like, your fucking pussy is mine. I can't wait to bang you again. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, 100%. It was said in to, I believed at the time, that's how it came across

that it was to try ease a little bit of attention in the jockey manner, but obviously he meant it because it continued. So how did you feel when he said that? You were just like taken aback, right? Because it was like so for you. And that's where I think it's the problem. What do you do with that at your age? You're not kind of capable enough to, I believe, even though when you're that age,

you feel like you know it all. But if you look back, the older you get, they're going to look back at an 18-year-old to be like, oh my God, like what the fuck, right? Like I was really young. You're not really capable of figuring out what to do if that is put on you. That's like a very powerful thing to put on you. And I don't think that you were powerful enough to make a clear decision about what you wanted to do. That's what I believe.

Oh, no, without a doubt. No, without a doubt, I wasn't in a position at the time to do. Anything. Age, you were still, you were dealing with loss. He kind of took advantage of the situation. Yeah, yeah. It was the first time I've said this story out loud. So when you do hear it, wow, yes.

Yeah, yeah. Like I said, I was in the beginning when you first started, I'm like, I'm asking all these details because I want to get a feel for what this is. Because I know people are going to come after this guy. But like I said, if it was a story where like it happened like it did that first time and I could assume maybe he's, like I said, I afford you the luxury of your like dealing with emotion. I could give it to him too. Why does he not have a reason?

He's a human thing. but the next day like I said if he said oh my god like that was totally wrong I'm so sorry like we should never do this again and then because I already know you went back a million times right because you're still banging him to the same but if it just went back because you couldn't

handle it and the horniness took over and he kept apologizing I don't know it would be a little bit different but he really just came back the next day ready to with a clear head you know kind of owning you and he's cheating oh my gosh yes he's He is. He is. Okay, so he says your pussy's mine. Yeah, he was. Okay. So he says your pussy's mine. And you're like, oh my God. I don't know. Maybe you got a hot for that. You know what I mean? Because you're like young. It was hot to me. Yeah, of course. I didn't take it that way necessarily at first. I did laugh. And I thought, he's got to be winding me up. Yeah. But yeah, he wasn't.

So, well, what happened next? What was the next move he made? To begin with, it was, it's never been regular. So it's always been sporadic in the times that it's happened. But it's still interesting because, like, when you're at this age and during this time, how does it even come up again? That's what I'm curious, because you're still super young. He's way older.

He's your mom's friend. There's a lot of things that would stop you from how. having this happen all the time. I'm wondering the second time after he said, I fucking own you, how you guys wound up back in bed together. And this time you went all the way, right? The second time we did, yeah. So tell me that story. So again, it's a similar situation. Always drinking. My mom wasn't around. She, she went off the rails a little bit at the time. So they were just myself in the house. So one night we were drinking. And yeah, I'm just. We ended up having sex at night.

If I remember correctly, actually, it was Christmas night. Yeah, Christmas night. I'd been drinking all day with friends. They knew that I needed some time to deal with everything that I'd gone on. And, yeah, we'd been drinking and we were taking drugs as well. So, yeah, I was definitely not in any fit state to be doing anything. but it ended up just me and him again. And yeah, we did end up in bed and we did go all the way this time.

Listen, most people, because I quit drinking when I was 34, right? And before I quit drinking, I fucked a lot of people just because I was drunk. You know what I mean? And a lot of people. And then after I quit drinking after I was 34, my numbers went from, it's just drastically flat bottomed, do you know what I mean? Because if you're not drunk, you wouldn't fuck half the people, if not more, actually three quarters of the people that people fuck when they're young, they would never

fuck without alcohol. So everybody bangs people when they're wasted that they don't want to. It's just, I get even why you did even more because you needed an escape and that's how you were coping. Yeah, but we've all been there, done that. And anyone that hasn't, they were just not, they weren't party people when they were younger, but most people, I'm telling you, most people wouldn't have sex if they weren't drinking healthy. Most women, at least. Yeah, looking back, definitely that's how it is, because I don't drink now, because I don't drink now, because because I can't behave myself when I'm drinking. Yeah, that's how I was.

Yeah. Yeah. But we're not there yet. Okay, we'll get there to when you quit drinking. No, not there yet. Yeah. So you bang him. I'm assuming it was good, like you enjoyed it?

Yeah, I did enjoy it. It was really good. I'm not overly experienced at this point. So to me, he was of being the older guy. He was the more experienced and he knew. He definitely knew. to get me off in a way that I'd never had

because he's the older guy and I'm used to essentially boys my age. Yeah, big difference. Huge difference. Yeah, huge difference. And I tend to go for older guys now because of it.

Of course, yeah. You wired you into it. Because it's probably so great, supercharged. Plus, you were in a really weird time that this would be very powerful for you. because of what you were going through? Yeah. The thing is, I don't think it was like supercharged. It was just, for me, at the time, it was just a means to an end at the time and escape.

Yeah, of course. But that could be very powerful because it came at a very powerful time. You know, you imprint in times like that, I feel like more than in regular day, groundhog day life, you know. In those times that are super intense that you'll remember for the rest of your life, if I think whatever happens during that time, especially something like this, I think could imprint really hardcore because you're very open and vulnerable, you know?

Yeah, without a doubt. Without a doubt, it did take her therapy as well to deal with everything. Not at the time, but that came later to deal with everything that I didn't deal with. When you were drinking and banging. Yeah, you were. You were drinking and banging and escaping.

That's why I quit drinking. That's how I dealt with things. too, but I didn't deal with anything as hardcore as you. But, okay, so then you just continue. Now, did he ever, like, did he ever say, oh my God, maybe we shouldn't do this? Or he was just, like, always, like, whenever it came up, he was like, good to go and it was all good and stuff. Did he ever have any regrets or any feelings about it, like negative feelings about it? Yeah, he did. We did speak at length. We definitely grew closer over the years, not in a sexual way, but definitely grew closer. And we did speak. And, we did speak. And,

he he did express quite regularly and so did I guilt shame even at times as well that he shouldn't be happening I respect that he looking back he was like oh that was fucked up yeah without doubt we still say it now yeah yeah oh that's good I like that he's redeemed himself listen he might not be able to be redeem himself with other people because people are so unforgiving and people are just weird the way that they are like people just like every human being has to be perfect and if they're not perfect they're not perfect and that's it you know what I mean like they just don't allow for imperfections I I appreciate the fact that he is able now so many years later to look at it and see that it wasn't right and take accountability for it yeah yeah and it was

for me as well not in that kind of way but at the time when I had nobody because my friends didn't understand what I was going through at the time And my family essentially fell apart. Yeah. Kids are so selfish. They don't care about you at that time. You know what I mean? No one cares about anyone about themselves at that age.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. So you have no family. And really all you have is him. To talk to about stuff. Yes. My family, they were dealing with the grief in their own way.

And I tried to deal with it in mind. And that was how I dealt with it. Mm-hmm. Now, did any of your, because listen, girls talk, right? And I don't know that I could keep that secret, okay? I didn't. Okay, I would assume, right? So did all your girlfriends know that you're banging this 43-year-old guy?

Because 43 is so old when you're 18. I'm sorry, that's a really old man to you. Yeah, it seemed. It seemed. He doesn't look it. He does not look it. Yeah, of course. But when you're young, age is very, oh, my God.

So what did your friends say when you told them? I told my best friend at the time. and she was shot. She couldn't believe it. She said, say that again. And I told her. She's like, what are you doing?

She's like, this is crazy. I said, yes, I know it is, but I can't take it back. It happened. She was not happy at all. It led to an argument, actually, and we didn't speak for a number of months. Really?

Yeah, she was so against it, but I can't take it back. It happened. She was not happy at all. It led to an argument, actually, and we didn't speak for a number of months. because of it. Yeah, she was so against it.

Yeah, I remember when you're young and your girlfriend, you're so invested in them that if you have such negative feelings about something, you really take it on. When you're older, it's not like that. Yeah. But I get that. No, no, it's not. Yeah, so she was very, like, horrified that you're doing this. Because, listen, this guy's way older.

It's your mother's friend. She probably sees him as a creep, trying to screw a young girl. That's exactly what she called him. Yeah, and he's married. And he's dating someone, like he's cheating. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I could see why she got mad. But then you guys got back. Now, all right, so you can just continue on. Does anyone ever find out about you guys?

No, to this day. No, unless I've told them at the time, I just told my best friend. She's no longer my friend now. But my current best friend knows, but she doesn't know him. So. But your mother never found out? No, she still doesn't know. She still doesn't know. Now you continued on in therapy and were able to like, work through that stuff. Are you close with your mom now? Did like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, she's my, my, my best friend, I love her to death, which wouldn't think I would stop doing what I'm doing, but I still haven't. Well, I feel like it's very easy or what people do, and I've done it, and we all do it, and anybody that's going to judge you for it just doesn't realize that they fucking do it because they're not being honest with themselves, is we compartmentalize things. You know what I mean? You have that in a very separate place, and one has nothing.

to do with the other. So I'm sorry, just because you're fucking your mom's best friend behind your back. Doesn't mean you have any less feelings for your mother, okay? And anyone that thinks that is stupid. Okay? Both things could exist at the same time. And we as human beings have very powerful ways of, like I said, framing things, compartmentalizing them so we could do what we want and have what we want and be okay with it. I don't think that your thing, like I said with him, has anything to do with your mother. It's not like, oh, if you love your mother, you shouldn't be banging that guy. I just don't see it that way. Yeah, I did go through all that in my own head. And it's constantly actually. So you were judging yourself that way, even. Yeah. Yeah. And how did you get past that? Because you

continue to bang him. So are you continuing to do something that you don't think is right? Or did you eventually, were you eventually able to get to a place where you felt differently about it? I'm definitely a place now where I do feel differently about it. I think maybe it's because I'm older and it seems a lot different than the vulnerable 18 year old I was at the time I think

when did how long ago did you stop drinking only this year I stopped drinking it's been I think four five months I've stopped drinking oh congratulations listen let me just tell you like because I quit I don't know if you listened to my getting sober episode. Yeah, it's good, right? And it just, I mean, you just won't believe the changes that

happen in yourself and how clear you get and how you see things very differently. So it'll be interesting how you work through all of that eventually, right? But that's like the best thing you could have probably done for yourself right now. And now you were in therapy. Would you bring this to your therapist and tell, did your therapist know that you were like banging your mom's friends too besides dealing with the grief? Or did you keep it secret? At the beginning, I did keep it secret. I wasn't 100% with the therapist that I had back then because I wasn't comfortable with them.

So I had to find somebody that I could really, really open up to. And I did eventually. And I have told them everything, absolutely everything. And I think the last convert, I haven't had therapy for about six, seven months now. now. But one of the last conversations that I had with the therapist was that I should start to, especially because I did mention that I wanted to stop drinking, that I do all the stupid shit. And he's definitely one of them. And yeah, he said once I can work through everything that comes when you are off alcohol. which is a lot by the way.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still very early on. So yeah, that I should. He believes that I will completely cut ties with this guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. I feel like you'll get more clearer.

And it takes time, you know. I have to say what people don't understand because they've never gotten sober that if you have a sober friend or, you know, you're getting sober yourself. Like that first year and those first couple of years of ever are very difficult. You're dealing with a lot. alcohol is not the problem. The problem is you can't deal with emotions, you've been checking out, you don't, you, and alcohol is just the means to the end. So the minute you put down alcohol is when the work stops. Putting down alcohol is like the easiest part of the process. It's what comes after.

And a lot of people unfortunately think, whether it's drugs or alcohol, they want their partner to quit, their partner quits. And then their partner starts acting like a maniac. And they're like, oh my God, what's wrong? Like you quit drinking. It should be this. No, what's wrong is why were they fucking drinking to begin with? People don't drink because they like alcohol. They don't become addicts because they love alcohol. I hated the taste of alcohol. I would suck my drinks up in one sip because I just wanted to get drunk.

I wasn't enjoying alcohol. I do enjoy the test. Well, don't think about it. It's the worst thing you could do. Don't even think about it. So that's like a really good way of just don't go there in your brain. But this is the thing. And so all this stuff comes up.

And it comes up for a long time. Like there was this very, I wish sometimes, because I'm a big reality TV store, and I'm going to say this very fast because probably other people don't care. But like, I wish I could gossip about reality TV because it's so interesting to me and all these things happen in these dynamics. And there's this one show called Summer House. And like this one guy just got sober and he was about to get married and his girlfriend was giving him so much shit about not being successful and having a job and figuring out

what he wanted to do. And his brother had died like before and he got sober. And everyone's like on her side giving him shit for. for not working and figuring out what he wants to do and he's a fucking loser. And I'm like, oh my God, these people don't get. This guy is successful. He's being successful as a human being right now. And when that's taken care of, he'll go be successful in other areas of his life.

But when you quit drinking, your life is not about any of that fucking stuff, okay? You can't move in those directions, but you're moving massively in personal growth. And being successful in that way is just as fucking important, if not. more important than being successful, making money, having a fucking job. You know what I mean? Seriously. There's so many people that are successful with money and they're the most horrific people that have never done one ounce of fucking work on themselves.

So leave Carl on Summer House alone, everybody. It's so gross to me. So anyway, but that's what's going on. And I think it's people don't understand if they're not sober. That person's doing a lot of work and it takes, it's every day and you're not in regular life. So I do think you'll get clearer. Five months is like a baby in that time, but it's so huge for you.

Have you been with him since? That's my last question. Then I want to move on to the disgusting cum thing. Have you been with him since? No, the last time was when I decided to quit drinking, which was a few months ago. Right after? Yeah, yeah, right after. And every time you saw him, were you always drunk?

No, no, no. I didn't see him for a long time in between all this, because, you know, I got into a relationship with my son's dad. Uh-huh. So I was with him for seven years. Okay. And did you ever play around with that guy during that seven years? No.

No, I didn't. We didn't see because my son's dad hated him. Oh, maybe he smelled him from a mile away. Or did he know? He didn't know. No. But why did he hate him? He assumed.

He thought we were too close. Oh, he didn't assume. He knew. No, no, no. He did know. It's like women's intuitive. He knew. Yeah, he knew. He did say, I obviously denied it. Of course. Yeah, but he's a different story altogether as him.

Okay. We don't have to go. Your story about the, I listened to the other day with the woman whose kid's dad was a murderer. Yes. I can talk that. I can talk that. Oh, you're kidding. No, no. I can talk that with my son's dad. Can you just tell me real quick. I'm sorry. You can can't say, I'm like the most curious person. I can't just have that fly through. We'll get to your calm story real quick. Just tell me about your fucking baby daddy. Like what, what happened with him? What's worse than a murderer? A serial killer? I would rather of him have been that than what he was. Oh, oh, no, I know where you're going to go. A patophile, like a child molester? He raped his sister. Oh, my God. How did you find out? I went to prison for it. I didn't know. And the, the, the,

the name that he gave me my son has his surname and it's not even his name. Oh so he had lied to you so that you wouldn't find out because he knew that was like on record someplace? Yeah it's on record. I didn't find out until I'd left him because he was really manipulative. He was horrible but yeah I left him finally and I got a knock at the door from his probation officer who had no idea I existed.

Holy shit. He was a fraud too. He was like living a lie. 100%. Oh my God. And so the probation officer comes. They don't even know you exist. And then they told you the whole story. He told me everything and he had the records and the evidence to prove it. Oh my God. So he was sat in my house for three hours. We sat and spoke. How long ago was this? This was my son is almost 12. This was when he was five. So yeah, a few years ago. That's heavy too. Very, it's just one thing after the other. You would have a field there with my life story. Oh my God.

But that's why I think it's so great that you got sober. So, you know, because you have a lot of stuff that was put on you. And, you know, if you were always drinking, if that's like your go-to. I never really drank often. The older I got. It doesn't matter. I just do stupid shit. So I can't do that anymore.

Let me ask you this, because I was not a person that drink every single day when I, and so I questioned myself. Am I, like, what does that mean? But I knew I was an addict because when I drank, and I used to think, I used always be like, any of my friends, I could just go out and have one drink and go home. I'd be like, wow, you're so boring. What's wrong with you? Because the minute I would be drinking and I started to get drunk, like, there was no stopping

me. Like, I could never stop. I was never going to go home. I was drinking the drinks on the bar at 4 o'clock in morning because the bar was closed and I needed more. Like, it was just never, I could never control myself. My brain changed. You know what I mean?

There was just, I couldn't make those decisions. Then I realized those people. weren't boring. They were normal. You know what I mean? I was the fucked up one. The fact that I couldn't have a drink and go home. That's when you know you might have a fucking problem. And the fact, yeah, and the fact that one of the most powerful things that happened to me when I quit is this moment where I realized I was going, like I had something come up that made me feel bad emotionally. I start to feel jealous and I literally, it was like two weeks into my sobriety. I whipped out my phone looking for someone to fuck. And I realized I can't fuck any one of these people. I was, I can't fuck any one of these

people without alcohol and I can't drink alcohol and now I'm trapped feeling jealous and I can't stand this feeling and that's when it dawned on me this is why I drank I'm a fucking weakling that can't deal with any emotion and that completely changes after you are sober it takes years and it takes time and stuff and it's hard but it it happens you learn to deal with everything and you become like a like a normal person quote unquote yeah I do have to which is why I'm going back to therapy yeah it really helps anyway okay so So let's get to Jizz. You fucking hate Jiz.

But first of all, I cannot believe that about your father's son. Like your son's father, did you like immediately let him know that you knew and then kicked him out of your life? Or was he in jail at that point? No, he'd already been. And he came out right, right. Yeah, yeah. So did you keep, did you allow him to see your son? What did you do?

No, no. No, I stopped that completely. The moment I found out I stopped him from seeing our son completely. And last year he took me to court and lost, so he has no rights to my son anymore. Okay, amazing. Okay, so let's go to the jizz thing. Now, has this, okay, so explain to everybody, because I got the email, like, how you feel about come. Let's take this conversation up, but notch, it's been very down.

But interesting, I love, listen, let me just tell you, the conversation that we just had is, like, my favorite conversations to have. Like, I love real deep shit. Like, those are my favorite. not like a small talker person. I like deep fucking talk. So I love all that stuff. But we'll let's now talk about jazz because I can talk about this too for hours. I know your comment that you made that prompted the email that I sent was the oyster comment. And even now, that comment just randomly pops into my head and it's like, oh, I'm going to feel sick. Like it was that bad. Oh my God. It's so funny. And the comment was like, if you don't swallow, what? I made it worse. I'm like,

If you don't swallow when you eat oysters, something's wrong with you because those are disgusting. But wait a second. What? You said you'd rather eat six crumb filled. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Even worse. You're right.

That was the question. Oh, my God, you're right. That must have made you want to throw up while you were listening to me. It did. While I was at work, I was working in a client's house. And I'm like, are you okay? I'm like, no. Oh, my God.

was a funny episode. People should go listen to it. Yeah. But anyway, okay, so now have you always felt that way about just since the time you started hooking up? Yeah, from the very first time, it's just, I don't know what it is about it. It just, even if I do try to give a blood job, and nothing's there to begin with, it's like, I know it's coming. So it just, it starts then I will, I will want to physically be sick. Have you ever swallowed calm or had it on you or anything, even though you hated it? Because I know you said I've tried to power through. I have tried to power through numerous times, whether that be giving a blood job.

And I have had instances where they do finish in my mouth. But then that's when I will physically be sick. I just can't do it. I can't. I can't. I can't. Even thinking about it now, I feel sick. And so, yeah, I get it.

So let me ask you this. Are you somebody that, because you have a kid and like you see, like in your kids, are very certain ways you see little things that are just specific to them. Were you always somebody that textures in your mouth and food? Because some people are very like that. It's textures are very, could really turn them off to things or not because that's just that sense. You'll eat anything. Apart from oysters.

Oysters. Okay, well, at least you're like true to your disgust for anything slimy. Wait a second. So it's never been like a texture thing. Do you remember the first time? Like which came first? Your adversion or like you gave a blowjob, you got it and then you realize, oh, I don't like this. Like I'm going to throw up. It was that. The first time I gave a blowjob and he finished in my mouth. And I thought it was the worst thing on the planet. Yeah. And I was sick physically sick at the time. Okay, well let me ask you this because one time a boyfriend came in my mouth and I literally threw up right after, but I realized way later that he was snorting heroin the whole time we were dating. So I believe I was given heroin through his jizz, right? It was in there?

And that's why I threw up. Do you know, was it the taste of it or was it just, was it clean jizz? You know what I mean? Or and it just, it was just the feel, the taste. And it's happened with different guys. so it's not just It wasn't his kid, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so you've tried to power through. Have you ever got, and so it ruins blow drops for you, right? Oh, completely, yeah. Okay, but have you ever gotten to the point where like with a guy that you could be straight up and say, listen and not like during sex?

You don't want to say this in the middle of it. His dick will go off. But when you're having conversations with your next boyfriend, like just say, hey, listen, I have this really weird thing. There's something about the consistency of calm that I can't fucking tape. But I'll gladly suck your dick. But you need to promise me that you will let me know, you know what I mean?

That you just can't calm in my mouth. It has to be on you. If you had that conversation and knew that you could trust somebody that they wouldn't finish on you in you, do you think you could just do the act of the blow job and get past that? No? No, no, because I've done this. I've tried. Okay.

many different things. Do you want to list what I've tried? Yeah. So, yeah, I've tried that what you suggested. Okay. But I think my issue is it gets in my head and I can't switch off from that. For sure, yeah. Remember I told you we frame things?

You have framed that in your brain that it's so powerful. And that's hard things to get past. Go on. What else have you tried? Someone suggested my friend is really into meditation. She's like, try, you know, clear your mind. It's like, I can't meditate because of my mind works. I got to work.

I can't do it. Someone suggested the numbing sprays. Well, it's not, that's not a problem, but I tried that anyway. That didn't work. Well, that would make him that, like, maybe that would give your brain extra comfort in knowing that it's going to take this guy a long time to come, so I have plenty of time to stop before it's going to happen. Not my brain.

Not my brain. Not your brain. Yeah, it's powerful, unfortunately. right it's listen when it comes to things like this it's like you against you i have something called pokey pokey and if you listen to my show enough you might know about yeah and that's in my head because of something that happened when i don't know that i'll ever be able to get past it right because it's so imprinted and that's like really hard now when you have been dating guys like has it been become a problem maybe blowjrops are never just going to be on the fucking table for you

I don't know. Yeah. It hasn't caused an issue that I've been aware of. If they've gone and got it elsewhere, then I don't know about it. Oh, wait. What about this? I'm sure you've tried it. Putting a condom on it.

Yep, tried. And? That was the first real time that I found out I was allergic, really allergic to latex. Oh, no. What happened? Like your lips swelled up? Yes. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah, that didn't go well at all. Oh, my God. But let me ask you this. If it would have been, like, because they make other condoms from different material, right? Oh, yeah, I get them, no. Yeah, yeah, I get them. Okay, and did you ever try it with that kind of a condom?

Or, like, even with end, still the same thing? It's the same thing because then my mind is going, what if this breaks? What if X, Y, and Z? And I can't switch it off. Yeah. How hard I try. I just can't do it. Wow.

So I'm hoping that some of your viewers or listeners will have maybe a crazy suggestion for me that I can try and overcome it because I'm ridiculously competitive and just drives me crazy that I can't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you want to conquer it. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I think you can. It's you against you, though. And you're a strong bitch, right? So the part of you that is holding on to this is strong.

I get it because I'm this built the same way. And I have always said like when I have tried to, and I've succeeded getting past things that were very big blocks in my life. It felt like I was walking forward with a string of huge bricks behind me. Like it's painful. It's so difficult because it's literally you're going against another part of you that is equally as strong, right? So it's going to fucking win. And so it's very hard, right? But you have to kind of see it like that.

Have you ever brought it into therapy? because I think maybe a therapist could help you, like, figure out ways. No, not yet. Not yet. Not yet. It's a weird thing to say. Yeah, exactly. They're probably looking at me like, yeah, this one's crazy.

No, it's just, listen, they've heard it all, but it's a very, I think it's, it's, you'd be embarrassed to bring that up at first. No, I've got zero. All right. Then why haven't you brought it up? I don't know. Maybe a sex therapist, that might be what I need to try. next. But you have a therapist now, right? Yeah. A man or a woman? A man.

Okay, what kind of therapy, like what kind of therapist, the therapy does he specialize in? Do you know? Because he a psychoanalyst, a straight-up psychotherapist, is the CBT. Because CBT, they give you cognitive behavioral therapists. They give you, like, they're not so much into, but you need, you need right now probably just a regular therapist that's going to go back with you and clear a lot of stuff. But, like, C.B. BT therapists, like what they do is they give you just like actual tools that you could use to like specifically conquer this kind of a thing. You know what I mean? Do this, do that. This will help you become unwired. It's more about it's more like specific and that could really help you. But yeah,

let's put a call out to anybody online to hear if they have any suggestions or somebody that's like been there done that. Yeah, because I can't be the only one. I just can't be the only one. I just can't be the only one. No, 100% you're not. Have you ever gone Googling? Reddit, Reddit, can't handle calm, don't like to give blow jobs, have you ever? I have given more. A lot of them are suggestive. One did mention the therapy that you suggested just then. Yeah. So that might be my next option. Yeah, because that gives you, like I said, specific tools because it's not like you could remember any kind of abuse or anything like from your childhood that would go with that. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's been no trauma.

No. Let me ask you this. Were you ever forced to eat anything when you were younger that you didn't like? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's pretty standard for children though. No, I never have shoved food down my son's throat and he eats horrific. Yeah, me neither. But I know that a lot of parents do. Yeah. Yeah. It's so sick if you really think about it, right? Yeah. Yeah. We did have certain meals that I had to eat that. didn't like. So listen, some things like that were like very, this might be a stretch. I don't know. I'm not a psychotherapist or whatever, but I like to try to figure stuff out and see where it comes from because a lot of times I see where things come from. And I just wonder if you were this kid that there were these

times that really stand out to you when you were younger that you had to do eat something that you didn't like. You became very adverse to things that you don't like. So if you slightly don't like jizz, it's going to be something that you're going to be like you're no longer a kid. You don't want it shoved down your throat. And it's maybe it's that part of you that's like, no, because it was, you were forced so much. When it's not that you were forced to eat jizz, it was just you were forcing something you don't like. You happen to not like Jizz. Most people don't. Okay. I'm not like, oh, yummy, I want an oyster. Okay. No, I'm just saying I'd do it because it's hot and whatever. I said I'd rather have cum than oysters. I don't love to come though. Seriously. I'll just

swallow and I could care less. Okay. But I just said, I'd rather have cum oysters than real oysters any day. But I'm not like, oh, delicious. Give me a cum in a glass. I'm going to drink it. No way. That's how it plays in my head that comment. Yes, no.

I would never. No, it's in the heat of the moment and the thing. And that's why I think you want to get past it, right? You just want to be able to be like that person in bed where you don't have this block, like right there when it comes to that. And I totally understand that. And I do think maybe it comes from like having food shoved down your throat. because I make jokes with my son.

I'm like, you want me to hold you down and shove food? This is what people do to people. I don't do that. And let me tell you, my son eats horrific and I'm a very healthy person. But I'm still not going to shove food down my son's throat because I think that that's fucking traumatizing, okay? And archaic and the stuff our parents did, okay, is that's going to, listen, when my son's older, he's going to look back at some of the things I didn't be like, you're so archaic.

It's just everybody evolves, right? So it's not like our parents are terrible people. It just is what it was. A lot of people do that. But maybe that scarred you. Maybe. Who knows? Yeah.

You're going to have to bring it up with your therapist, like for real. But we're putting the call out to my listeners. Now, let me ask you this. In that relationship, what was the longest relationship you had? Was it with your baby daddy? Yeah, seven years. Okay, now, did you blow him? No.

I hated him, so no. Oh, did you have sex with him? For the first two years and then nothing after. I refuse to go near him. Okay, so, but what about, like, when things were good and when you're dating someone and you like them? Yeah. Do you tell them straight up? Hey, listen, by the way.

Yeah, I have to. I have to. You're not going to get that off of me. So then I think they've got the magical dick and that bears will be the one that cures me. Oh, my God. Prove a point. Well, you don't have a magical dick. You could use that part of a man.

You could use that part of a man to your advantage. I used to always tell my girlfriends, you want to get, you want a guy to go down. you for an hour or you want them to fuck you three nights in a time in a night. Whatever you want for a guy, just tell him no guy has ever been able to do it for you. Oh my God, no guy has ever been able to give me a thousand dollars for a handbag. I was like, I'm going to be that one. You know what I mean? No guy has ever made me come from oral sex.

That guy's going to go down on you for six hours. You can totally lie. You know what? The first time I did say that line, that is exactly what I got. What? I said no one had made me come through oral sex. Yes, that's what you're going to be. Yeah, because it's in every guy's nature to be that guy, that magical dick thing.

They're all that way. You know what I mean? They're always going to think, no, I'm going to be the one. Because every guy knows I can't squirt. And so they're all like, oh, they're like wasting their time, getting muscles in their arms trying to get me to squirt. I know, pokey, pokey is never going to allow for it. I'm sorry. But of course they want to be the one.

That's how guys are built. Like I said, you could use it to your advantage. but of course they're going to be like, no, I'm going to be the one. And hopefully, listen, hopefully there will be that guy that you could get past, but it's not because it's not going to be because his dick is magical. It's going to be because you worked past your block. Yeah, yeah. Even like you, when I'm really in the moment, as soon as it switches to that,

it's something in my brain just goes, no, no, no, you're not doing that. Yeah, you are very against it. It is framed. It is in you. It is a part of you. and somehow it got really wired in there and it's very powerful and the only way is unwiring that and working through. And people do work through that stuff. Like I think I could work through my pokey-pokey. It's the same thing. But I just haven't been able to. And it was funny because like pokey-pokey for me is like anything. Anything long. And so thin and going inside, probing inside anything to me is so effing gross. It makes me sick. And let me tell you what what changed me. and really helped is when I had to go through IVF to have my son and I did it so much and I was so

poked and prodded and I had all the stuff that I hated the most done to me on a daily basis and I was on such a mission to have my son that nothing was going to stop me, even my biggest fear. And after doing it a millions of times, it really sort of opened my body up and changed me for a while. It was like kind of like the best thing that happened, right? It was just this overexposure of everything that I hated and I was forced to do it. and I became so okay with so much stuff. I was like the type that if I went to get my blood taken, I would be horrified. When you get IVF, you get your blood taken every day, 10 times a day.

I did six IVFs. Like I was like a pro. Put it in. I could care less. And it really helped. So maybe you're going to have to suck a lot of dicks when you're going through your retraining process. A part of me is quite proud that I can't do it.

So I have this other battle within myself because I was saying yesterday to my friend. I was like sometimes I do feel like because a lot of women will do it even though they don't like it but I physically can't so it's well I have to do I felt like I had to do more in the bedroom to compensate for that so not only did I feel I got better at everything else and then I'm still holding on to this that no one can ever say no guy can ever say that they've had that off of me to completion properly. Interesting. I wonder if that helped that. I wonder if that perpetuates your block. It's sort of you wear it kind of like a badge. It's a part of who you are. Like, who are you without that? You know what I mean? You're going to have to go there too. Everybody else. Yeah, but you're not. You know what I mean? You're not because you still have the better than everyone because you've overcompensated for you. Like guys with micropenuses, a lot of times are like really good at oral because that's what they know they bring to the table, right? You're not going to blow a guy. So you're like performing. better than anyone in everything else. So you're still going to have that. But if you add in the blowjob, you're going to be professional. You've got to start retraining your brain to frame of things differently.

That's what it's all about. It's really like mind fucking yourself. You've got to mind fucking yourself. Well, yeah, that's the how to get me is to engage my mind. So hopefully I can start working on different aspects of it, thinking differently and see if that will end the long, the long suffering of men from this side of the world. Well, listen, have any guys left you because you wouldn't blow them?

No. Okay. I think you'll be okay. But this is the thing, you know, right now, and this is the last thing I'm going to say, like right now you just quit drinking. You had a lot of really heavy things happened to in your life. You drank a lot of it away. You checked out.

Like, whatever. You know, you finally came clean. You're trying to work on stuff. You're getting clear. I think this should be like the next step that you take. I wouldn't put this on your plate right now because it's more, yeah, it's more important to do everything else. But I think when you're clear with everything else and you feel like you could get back

to your life, your regular life, you're going to conquer this and you'll conquer just like you're getting sober. But getting sober is just like a, like I said for that poor guy that everyone's putting down. It's like your only thing you could do at that time because it's so hard and there's a lot to it a lot more than anyone will ever understand unless they've gotten sober. But anyone who got sober totally understands, right? So that's like the only thing you could do right now. Besides get up, brush your teeth, take care of your kid and the regular life stuff. You have this huge thing that

you're dealing with right now. So when you're done with that and you have nothing else and you're just, you're going to be like a tough bitch, right? You're going to be stronger than you've ever been. Your feet are going to be on the ground and you're going to be at peace more than you ever have. And then you could tackle this. And you will tackle it just. just like you tackled being sober. It will be your number one thing you work on. And if you put that kind of work into it, you will figure out how to do it.

You'll probably need help, you know what I mean? Because, but you're the type that gets it and stuff, so you will. But anybody that thinks that they can help, Leanne, with her hatred of Jiz, email me and I'll send it along to you. Leanne, listen. The suggestion comes from a listener of yours, I will get

strictly anonymous tattooed. Oh my God. I need to. Oh my God. I know I really... Oh my God. That would be the greatest thing I've ever seen in the world. Anybody listen. Sexologists, sexologist, sex therapist, somebody that hated just anybody. Let's do this. Let's help. Yeah. Let's do it.

Yeah. Oh my God. I love it. I love this whole episode. Thank you so much for calling in and sharing your whole story and being so super honest and everything. Every bit of it was interesting. to me. I'm glad that you didn't just write into tell me about the oysters and decided to

call in because I love conversations like this and I'm so I'm glad that you emailed me and your episode will be up very soon. I could see you on WhatsApp. You're really pretty. If you want to send in picks, if you want to send in picks for my Patreon, like anonymous

picks you can, but you don't have to like this episode wasn't like you're a hot wife and those people always sent me like pictures of them lingerie and stuff but if you do want to you can but if not I totally understand because it's like a different kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah. And we're not going to show.

But I'm going to tell people you're like a 10. She's very pretty. But we can't show your face. That's all I see. I do see your face on WhatsApp. Sorry, it's like right in front of my face. I'll just give people the skinny. But like I said, I don't think the pictures need to go with this episode.

But if I get any emails, I'm going to send them to you. And maybe I'll have your episode next week. So I'll keep you posted though when it's going to air. Perfect. Thank you. And thank you for taking the time out and to speak to. me as well. I really appreciate that. I love it and I really keep me posted if anything major happens because I get invested in these kinds of stories for real. Like I really give a shit. I'm telling you. Obviously,

you could probably tell. You will be the first person I tell if that fear gets conquered. I will email you straight or whatever. It's done. If anyone could do it, you can. And you will. I just don't know if the timing is right now. But life goes by fast when you're my age. And so if it's a year from now, you email me. I will not forget you. I remember every call I have and everything people tell me. I have a very psychotic memory like an elephant. So trust me, you email me two years from now. Hey, Kathy, remember me? I called and I couldn't swallow.

I'm going to, of course, remember you now. So keep me posted and good luck with everything. And congrats on getting sober. And don't sit around thinking ever about how good alcohol takes it. That's the key. Yeah, yeah. All right, cool. I'm definitely not going.

All right. Thanks for calling in, Leanne. Bye. Bye. Okay. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of. Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true.

I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skip a row.

round. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly. Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to be on the strictly anonymous podcast because you have an interesting, naughty story to tell while we're meeting

anonymous, you could be on the show. send me an email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show. If you have a naughty confession, call my confessions hotline. 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. You could call that number 247. If you want to follow the show, follow me at strict anonymous on either Instagram or Twitter. That's at strict anonymous. And if you want to sign up for my Patreon, you're not only supporting my show, but you're going to get all of these episodes early and ad-free. You're going to get anonymous picks of all of my guests.

Most of the girls send me in anonymous hot picks of themselves, and some of the guys are sending me in anonymous picks as well. You also get access to my private Discord, where people are getting super naughty. If you sign up for my Discord, you could post whatever you want and talk to my other listeners. To sign up for my Patreon, just go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.

The links and everything else I spoke about are all in the description. Thanks so much for listening.