Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 932 - Toby on Being In a Gay Open Relationship, being Cucked, Poppers and More

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Toby called in to discuss his gay open relationship, being cucked, poppers, and more. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when he came out as gay to everyone, how he was cheated on and how that turned him into a cuck, his first threesome in a relationship and how he felt about it, his first open relationship and the rules they had going in, how no “breeding” was a big rule and why it flew out the window early on, how his bf cucks him, how and why he uses prep and how it works, the breeding threesome he set up for his bf recently and what went down, why he loves poppers so much and how he uses them, how both he and his partner have solo play partners and how many solo guys they each have, the night he had 4 guys “breed him” before his guy got home and how and why he loved that scenario, his double Penetration experience and why it didn’t last that long, how and when he has prostate orgasms and they differ from regular orgasms, how and why he not that into sucking d, how and why he loves the full transparency he has in his non-monogamous relationship plus a whole lot more.  **To see anonymous pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Just go to the description and click on the link for your free trial. So today I have on Toby. Toby's a cis gay man. He's kind of a cock. He's very into cuckolding. Okay, he's got a, he's in an open relationship. He talks about how when he was super young, he, you know, knew he was gay and he played around with guys, and then he didn't come out until he was way later.

But he did get cheated on. And after he got cheated on, he was able to turn his, uh, that scenario until I turn on. And now he's like totally into seeing his god. get pleased by other guys. Him and his guy have had an open relationship since the get-go. And he talks all about it. It's super interesting because he gives me a lot of information about different things in the gay community that I didn't know about. I know about prep, but I didn't know details about prep. And he talks about that. He talked about how their open relationship is set up. He talked about a lot about breeding. I didn't know what that meant in the gay community, but you'll find out because he talked about it. He talks about poppers.

Okay. He's into poppers and I never knew why a lot of gay men were into paupers, but you're going to find out. And he talks about some hot experiences that him and his guy have had. They play together. He's definitely the cock. But they also have tons of side guys as well. So he talks all about how it set up the rules that they have and the rules that they don't have and all that kind of good stuff. So it's a super interesting story.

So I'm going to be right back on with Toby. Hi, Toby. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? Hi, Kathy. I'm great. Thank you. Toby, you're what you say. Well, well, you like wrote the sentence out. You're a cis gay male, right? You're with somebody. You have a partner. I don't know if you're married or not, but you have a partner. And you are here to talk about some really salacious stuff. And I'm assuming it started early on because when I asked you what name you want to use, you're like, I want to use Toby because that's what I used to use when I would go on to Craigslist to hook up with people. That's where I used to get all my, people from in the beginning when I first started my show was the personal section in Craigslist because that's where the dirty stuff went down and that's where so many people were. You were going on there looking for hookups?

Totally. I was about maybe 15 years old and I knew I was gay from probably very young age, but I was like, how am I going to find people? And I would just go on your anonymous or what was it going to classified casual encounters and meet people. And you know what? I'd have to say I was learning how to write ads when I was 15 years old. And it was great. I was meeting people. She wasn't very often because I wasn't very sure about my sexuality, but I just knew I was very

into men at that point in my life. And yeah, it was all about the type of respect then. For sure. When did you come out? Do you come out to your family like early on or did you hold it in for a while? So I actually came out to my family quite late. I came out to my parents probably when I was 26. Okay. So I kind of lived this secret gay life for a very long time. Oh my God. So you're not a gold star gay? Did you have to bang girls just to keep up the front? That's so funny. I've actually never ever done anything with a girl besides kissing. And that was only because it was like a truth or dare situation and I had to do it. Yeah. Unfortunately, when I was in college, I did have a lot of women hit on me.

Yeah. Like I actually had women follow me to my dorm room. get naked in my bed as I'm like watching TV with the guys. Yeah. And then I'd just come back to my room and there'd be a naked girl. And I'm like, I don't know. What do I do? I don't know what to do with us. And they were probably so insulted that you didn't jump their bones.

Little did they know you were gay. Oh, yeah. I remember that happened one time. Of course. I just hid in my roommate's room for three hours. Because I was like, I don't want to go back in there. Oh, my God. Did your guy friends know that you were gay or were you totally in the closet?

Totally in the closet, no one knew. You could say no one knew. But like later on, my family members would be like, oh, we all secretly knew. But I thought I was doing good job. That's what I think. But listen, like, I could listen to your voice and be like, it has a gay inflection.

I don't know why, but like it does. You know what I'm talking about? Is that bad to say? As I got, as I became more open and more gay, my friends will tell me this. They're like, Adam, you talked a little bit different now. Oh, you talk more? I definitely have. I have a gay voice. I'm proud of it now. I don't try to hide it. It's funny because if you call my voicemail from my voice mail now, it's like, hey, maybe a voice mail.

Oh my God. That's so interesting. So because like I said, like I would be like, oh, I could tell from your voice. So maybe that's how your parents knew. But so, but the voice came later when you were really able to be out and proud and really fully embrace yourself totally. That's interesting. Absolutely. Yeah, that's great. That's great. That's so funny. You could say I, like, threw up with a filter on my voice, like Paris Hilton. Yeah, yeah. You were, like, playing and act. So what was that? Like, what happened in your life at 26 that made you want to come out? So I was, I was already dating men. I had long-term boyfriends at that point. That was last years. And I actually planned to live my life as a, as a straight person. But then I, unfortunately, circumstances happened. just I was forced to come out and I everybody accepted me and it was a great it was a great coming

out story for me so whatever it was that forced you to do it it wound up to be a blessing in disguise because it was a it was probably the best thing that it happened to you but you had a whole list of things you emailed me that you want to talk about I don't know where all this stuff started but why don't you take it from wherever it did start did it start when you got your partner so I guess it started off with I got cheated on for the first time when I was younger maybe when I was like 9-20. And that devastated me. It devastated me.

I didn't know how to move past it. And then I was in another relationship where they did a lot of traveling for work. So we kind of determined, hey, I won't see you for about three months. Would it be okay if I had a sexual encounter with someone else? And it was like in the beginning, I was like, no, that's crazy. I would never want you to do that. And then it was like, you know what? It was your partner that.

brought that up. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we went on vacation before with that being partner, and we would just download the Ranger and would be like, oh, let's see who, let's see if there are other gays around in this resort even. Yeah.

Because everybody wants to know, right? Are there other gays around or so there were? And then we ended up having a threesome. That was like our first, like, open situation. And how was that for you? Coming from a cheating situation that was hard to get past, did this kind of, you? make that all go away? Did it bring up jealousy?

How was it seeing your partner with somebody else? For sure, there was definitely a lot of jealousy. And because when we, it's a little bit, I think it's a little different than a straight dynamic threesome. Because you need to consider the positions of everybody. Okay. For example, I'm a bottom. Yeah. And I only bottom.

Okay. Where my partner might only talk. And then who do we bring in? Who is our third of bottom? someone who's versatile who might do both of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. You need a verse.

Right. Is this person going to penetrate me? Yeah. Or are they getting penetrated by my partner? Yeah. Someone's left out. Or by versa. Right.

And if someone is, and there's also the consideration of if my partner's fucking them, I might not want them to fuck me. Yeah. If that makes sense. Of course. So there's a lot to think about it.

And I decided, I was like, you know what, why don't we bring another bottom in? It'll be fun. It'll be hot. Because I'm a pleaser. At the end of the day, I'm a pleaser. I like to please people, like to watch my partner be pleased. I like them happy. So I was willing to not find another punk to come over and do me per se with my partner. And then the second time, we probably had another three sound.

We did. We recorded it. You whispered that. Sorry, we recorded. it. No, no, no, no, you whispered it. I thought it was funny. You don't need to say it louder. It was cute the way you said it. You're like, we recorded it like it was naughty. Yeah. And then it was, it was like my own porn, my favorite porn watch for a month. Like, it was, I enjoyed it. And then that relationship ended, unfortunately. And you, fast forward, I'm with my partner now.

And getting into it, my boyfriend, my partner now, we, getting into our relationship, we, getting into our relationship, we had already determined we want to be in an open, committed relationship with each other. Okay. Who brought it up first? I guess even from our first meet, from dating, from talking online, we were like, what kind of, what kind of relationship are you looking for? Completely monogamous or open. And we said, we're both looking for an open relationship. Okay, cool. Which is difficult to start dating someone and just getting right into an open relationship, right? Yeah, no, that's why I asked, like, when did it come up? Yeah, it's interesting. Right up from the get-go, but you were both on the same page, which is great. Yeah, no, that's why I

asked, like, when did it come up? Yeah, it's interesting. Right up from the get-go, but you were both on the same page, which is great. Yes, exactly. So, right away, as most of your open couple talk about, we had to make a rulebook, what's on the table and what's not on the table. Yeah, What were those rules? So a lot of, it's, so one of the big things I didn't want, which is very interesting, Kathy, in a gay relationship is I didn't want him to breed anybody, which means I don't want him ejaculating in another man. Oh, what was the word that you used? Breeding. Breeding.

Oh, so breathing is jizzing inside someone. Jizzing inside another person. That's breeding. And in the gay world, that is like, that is like the highest, but most intimate form of sex. Oh, interesting. So that's something that someone might hold to a relationship, the emotional part of the relationship,

and maybe keep that away from an open relationship. That makes sense if that's the way you guys see it. It was like, you can only breathe me and only me. You can do anything with anyone else, but you cannot finish inside them. Yeah, okay, I got it. and no sleepovers. What about solo play?

Solo play was totally on the table. Okay. Because we, in the beginning, we didn't live with each other. We lived maybe about an hour and a half from one another. Oh, okay. So there was a lot of, there was more solo play happening than now when we learn with each other. So we did a lot of solo. No bleeding.

What else was there? No overnights, you said, right? No sleepovers. Because you are doing a lot of solo play. But even though you. guys don't live with each other, no one's staying over the house. Exactly. No one, no one, like after your session, we call each other and we talk about it.

Or we check in with each other. It's not like, oh, I'm not going to hear from you for two days. No, and you did kind of call it gay cuckolding in your email to me. So I'm assuming like a part of the turn on after that person leaves is you guys then getting together and talking about it, right? Because if it's a cuckolding, you guys are into it, right? It's hot to you that you just fuck somebody. And we actually film a lot of our encounters for our own private viewing, you could say.

So I totally get off on watching the videos of him doing things with other people. Yeah, for sure. And what about him? Is he interested in that too? So not really. Not as much as you. He's not as much into knowing or knowing what I do or he wants to know what I do, but he doesn't want to see it. Oh, okay.

So you're a little bit more of the cuck than he is. Yes, totally. Yeah. And I wonder if it comes from being cheated on, because sometimes you turn that jealous sort of energy into a turn on. And I find that a lot of times people who do get turned on by that kind of a thing have jealousy in their past. And I feel like it's a very smart way to change that energy. I think you're totally right. That's how I kind of got over being cheated on.

Yes. It was like, I'm going to make this hot. Like, I'm going to make this a turn on for me. I'm going to, I'm going to, it already happened. So what are you going to do? Go mental over it? That's the worst thing. That's what I always did.

It's like that kind of stuff could drive you fucking nutty. So why not take that energy? And I've heard other people tell me that that's what they did. And they transferred and made it hot. And you're like, oh my God, that's so smart. Because you can't take it away. It happened to you. Now you're fucked.

So you could either let it torment you or you could get turned on by it. So much better. Absolutely. Absolutely. Totally. And that's exactly what I did. Yeah, smart. We've had accidents before you could say where someone had violated the rule per se, where he did breed somebody.

Oh, but did he cop to it? He told you after? Totally, totally told me right afterwards. Okay. It was like the other person requested it. It was a hot moment. I didn't feel like pulling out. And it just happened.

And I was like very pissed off. obviously because you broke a rule violations yeah but I that is still my favorite videos you watch till this day oh him breaking the rule the video where he's begging my partner to breed him oh wow and I'm and I'm and he's he could see it in his face where he's like oh fuck I'm not supposed to yeah but he wants to do it and it's hot it's hot because I know that he did it in the moment obviously we had to we had to we had to to get over, we're to fix the situation, but it's hot. I still think it's a hot moment. Yeah, well, they're really turned on because he just went with that and it was probably because

he was just so lost in the moment. Exactly. Exactly. And I like to, and like I said before, I like to see my partner get off. I like, I enjoy them feeling good and all that kind of stuff. And what about, but are you guys like on prep or if you're not using condoms and he's breeding that fucking guy? Like, how do you stay safe? Yeah, yeah. So we're buried. We're very, we're very, very selected with our partners. We're both on prep. We both make sure our partners are on prep as well. Yeah. When did prep come out? And is that something that, when did prep come out? And is that something that like you just go to the pharmacy and your doctor gives you a script for it or it's like an ongoing thing? What's the deal with it? So our, it's covered for us. We don't have to pay

for it. Unless you're like a billionaire, then you have to pay for it. But you just go get, you just go to, We have these gay clinics where specifically for gay people more at risk. And you go there, they take your blood and then they mail you your drugs. Wow, that's amazing. Because it's not, it's amazing

because it's not just, they mail you that you have to get your blood tests on every 30 days. Oh, I love that. Just to make sure you're still safe and you're good because you can't be on it if something's going on, right? Because Kathy, you have to remember now people are absolutely not using condoms and being wild. And people can say they're on prep, but they might not be on prep.

Exactly. So in this way, you could still be playing and knowing, hey, at least I'm on prep and I got tested 30 days ago. So they will not, though, give you it at the clinic unless you get tested every 30 days. Like you're getting it for free, but that's what that's kind of like your payment. You go, you get tested 30 days, then you get it. I love that. They won't mail you anything. They won't mail you anything unless you go get tested.

And you get a clean bill of health. Now, if you're on prep, someone lies about it, can you get it from them or is it 100% protection? Or is it just like 99% protection like everything else? You're very protected. I think 99.8% or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not high. But they still test to make sure that you didn't take it, that you took it all the time and it was working and everything, right? Well, and Kathy, you have to remember, it's only for HIV.

No, I know that. Yeah. So there's other things. So there's other things. You know, now people might be at syphilis or chlamydia or gonorrhea and not know, right? Yeah, they're giving you prep, but we're also making sure you have nothing else as well. Oh, okay. So they're not just checking you for HIV.

Every 30 days, you're getting a full STI panel. Full panel. Oh, wow. Okay. Interesting. Okay. I never knew how it worked. It's like interesting information.

I feel like if it's interesting to me, I feel like other people will find it interesting. because I know about Prap and I think it's amazing that it's available, right? I grew up in the 80s when people died from AIDS. It's like completely changed now, which is wonderful. And I didn't know how it works. So thanks for that information. But go on with your hot stories. And what else were going to say?

So we recently went on a trip. It was my birthday trip. And we decided, I decided, I was like, let's fool around. Let's have a, let's burn a new city. We've never been here before. Let's have a three-some. Okay. Right away, we were talking with this super hot bottom that was super down to be bred.

That was his thing. The breeding, I've never heard so about breeding before now that we're going to talk about it the whole time. I love it. Okay, so that was something that he was into. Oh, my partner absolutely loved it. Okay. Now, is that not a rule with you guys anymore considering, like, after that one time that he told you, did that, like, rule go out the window? So, exactly.

So because we had that rule, now the rule has negotiated and changed to. Yeah, of course. He's allowed to when given permission. Because you're so horny for it. You're horny for it too. I kind of want it. Yeah, you like it. It's happy.

I don't want to claim that I kind of want it to happen now. Yeah. But I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's a little, it's a taboo, but it turns me on now. Yeah, that's the whole point. So we had this guy come over to our hotel room. He was, we did the whole, are you on prep?

When was the last time you get tested? All these kind of things. He fit the marker. I showed my partner his picture and was like, are you into him? And he came over right away. It was really hot because he came over. I opened the door. and then I close the door.

By the time I close that door, they're already making out behind me. Oh, my God. So obviously your partner was into it. What are your guys type? Are you into the same type? So I'm, we're not in, we are into the same types,

which is a little bit difficult because I don't really want to share. I'm into more masculine bigger men. Yeah, and him too. And he is as well, as well as we call them twinks. Yes, Twinks. are, do you know what trink

are, Kathy? Yeah, but explain to everybody else in case they don't. So, so twinks are like younger, slimmer guys. Whereas, the hunks or more, more mushy, more bigger guys. And I bet you the twinks a lot of times have the bigger

dicks. Those little scrawny little guys a lot of times have the biggest dogs, right? It always happens like that. Yeah, because they have bigger dicks. And that's, and that's that's the problem, Kathy, I'm into hunks. I'm into like bigger guys. And sometimes, they're like not that big. No.

Doesn't go with the bottom. And sometimes I just have to, it's fine. Yeah. So, all right. So you, the guy walks in, the door shuts and they're already going to town. They're already going to town. And my partner does not know that, um, that this guy is into being bred and everything like that.

I didn't, I didn't tell my partner enough. Oh, okay. You were doing most of the talking with him but had a time? Yes, I did all the organizing. I said, I'm going to organize this whole thing. Okay, cool. As much as this is going to be a present for you, it's also giving a gift for me too. Okay.

I wanted to film the whole thing, but this guy was not, this guy that came was not into it. So we didn't do that, unfortunately. Mm-hmm. But we, I also, like, while they were going at it, I was feeding him poppers so that he could take more. Oh, my God. Could you just explain poppers to me? Are they like whippets? Are those poppers nowadays, or are they different than whipets?

I don't know what a whipet is. I'll be very honest with you, Cassidy. Is that when you breathe in like the cool whip? Yes, yes, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but it smells terrible. It smells like shoe, it's apparently the shoe polish smelling or acetone. It smells like nail polish remover.

That's what a popper is. Yeah, it comes in a little glass bottle, maybe 10. 10 milliliters, you just give it a little shake. You don't get any on yourself or else you could have a chemical burn. Oh, my God. So you inhale it in each nostril, maybe about five seconds each nostril, and it gives you an crazy head rush. It relaxes your muscles so that your whole opens up so that you can now take it.

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to get 30 days of free access. So you inhale it and you. each nostril, maybe about five seconds each nostril, and it gives you a crazy head rush. It relaxes your muscles so that your whole opens up so that you can now take it. Oh, that's why gay men love poppers. Yeah, so that now before you could be clenching, but now your muscles are relaxed. You can clench all you want, but nothing's happening back there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Interesting.

And you have a fork head rush. How long does a popper last, like a sniff last? Minute maybe. Wow. It hits you in 10 seconds and then you feel warm and fuzzy. And it feels amazing. It feels great. And then after that, it wears off.

But how long does that vial that you opened and sniffed? Is it just good for one sniff? Or can you sniff it 10 times? It depends on you store it, right? If you keep it closed every single time, it could probably last you a week, two weeks, maybe. But I mean, in that moment, after it goes away, after one minute, do you get to sniff again? Do you just keep sniffing? Absolutely. Go again. People go crazy. You just got to make sure you got to keep breathing, right?

That's the big thing is it subs out oxygen, so you have to breathe. You have to breathe. You have to remember to breathe or else you will pass out. Oh, really? Because what does it do that you're saying? It sucks out oxygen? I'm not a scientist, but I think it like, it sums out oxygen with, it's animal nitrates is what it is. Or there's different kind of nitrates is what poppers is. made out of. Yeah. And it gives you a head rush. It feels like you just basically got up really fast, right? Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Yeah. So, so yeah, you have to be careful and because you'll turn blue. Oh my God. And how often does that happen with people? Oh, my God. So if you, look, you could go, you could suck for an hour. Yeah. Maybe suck on it or inhale it 10 times and you'll be totally fine.

Yeah. Interesting. You just got to go easy. You just can't keep going crazy on it. But it gets you all horny. It makes you slutty. It gets you going. Oh, my God.

So you and your boyfriend and this guy were all down for the poppers? No. So my partner does not like poppers. He's a top. He doesn't need it. He doesn't need his hole to be open or anything like that, right? Oh, my God. Yeah.

So I'm feeding it to him. He's inhaling and he's breathing it. And then all of a sudden he's, oh, my gosh, give me more. I want more cough. I want more. He's just so horny when he's, like, asking my partner to breed him now. And I'm getting him all hornied up. And he's all pretty breathed me.

And my partner's looking at me like, what do I do? That's not, we didn't talk about this. Yeah, but you knew. And I knew and I just made him, you know, I was like, keep fucking him. Just keep going and just keep going. But like, I didn't tell him what to do yet. And this guy's like, oh, my God, I just want you to fill me up. And I was like, do it.

And then at this point, my partner was about to blow anyways. and it happened and it was amazing. Wow. And did you tell your guy afterwards? Like I had that whole set up, the breeding thing for your B-Day? That was like your present. Yeah, I totally did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally did. They loved it. So it's totally something we want to do again. Hopefully next time. Actually, we are planning. We've been in contact with this guy, this twink. And I was thinking about flying my boyfriend. out there for kind of like a loan my boyfriend weekend, Kathy.

Oh, you're flying your guy out to see the twink. Yeah, but I said if that happens, everything has to be recorded. And so does that happen often? You jumped all the way to like the most recent thing you did, but, you know, we have 30 minutes left to talk. I'm sure many things have happened between your recent experience and your earliest experience. How do your solo situations go? Well, I wanted to talk a little bit about that.

Yeah, so I have a couple of partners I play with regularly. Oh, okay. I find it easier to have a couple guys on rotation. I know how they are. They actually show up. For gays, it's super annoying. It takes a while to prep, Kathy. There's dedication to it.

I had to fast. I can't just eat a giant burger and then have a cock up my ass, right? You're the bottom. You want to stay clean. Everything has to be kind of cleanish. So you have to, there's a whole regimen. You have to clean yourself out before. You have to fast before that.

And then afterwards, you're sore as hell, right? What do you do after that? You have to do some remedies, take a bath, have some salt, all that kind of stuff afterwards. Yeah, love it. So that's, that's, for anyone into anal, because listen, it's not just gay men that have anal. I'm trying, I'm on the mission to get every,

and we're going to talk about prostate orgasals, because you're down with that. But I'm always like talking on my show that like guys, even straight guys, put something in your ass. You're probably going to fucking like it. Okay, I'm a three-input girl. I know how it feels. It's great.

You're missing out. I'm trying to get every guy to. And listen, a lot of straight guys are shoving things up their ass. They're just not talking about it. But they've gone. It's amazing. It's the best orgasm you can have, to be honest with you.

You can trick off all things. But you're regular, we'll talk about the prostate organs, but your regular guys, do they ever hug up with your guy too? Or do you have your own regular guys and your own regular guys? and your guy has his own regular guys. Like, how is it all set up? Yeah, we have our own separate guys we play with. I'm my, the guys I play with,

my partner is not particularly attracted to and vice versa. So there's no threesomes ever going on with any of these solo guys or these side guys? You know what? We've tried to set up a threesome where I am the feature, where I'm the only bottom and then my partner and another top comes in. Yeah.

But there was a lot of jealous. obviously. He couldn't stay hard because I was watching, watching me enjoy another man. It was hard for him. Oh, why? Because he normally doesn't see that in your threesomes that you have? Well, normally, we invite another bottom over. So it's always the bottom. I know that it was normally. So it's never you really getting nailed by another guy other than your guy. Well, after, and he had suggested it, right? And I was just like, no, you know what? It was so, I was such a, it was so hard last. time when it was unsuccessful. Yeah.

But I don't really want to put myself through that again. Right. And I'm totally okay being a side, like being on the side, watching, watching him fuck someone that is similar to me.

Like that is hot to me. But I also have my guys that, you know, I call over, they come over and we do our thing. But he doesn't get jealous with you when you go over to another guy's house or anything? Obviously not.

I think there is some jealousy, right? I think he holds the rule book a little closer to his heart than I do. But I've played by the rules and I've told everything, like told everything that happens to him. There's full transparency and that's why it works. How long do you guys are dating for? Yeah. How long guys are dating for? Just under two years.

Oh, okay. So not that long. But you've been open from the get-go. So how many guys do you have on the side and how many does he have on the side? So that number's hard because it changes all the time, but I want to say we each have about three or four guys on the side. Like in our town, and local to us. So we could just say like, hey, what are you doing tonight when I come over? Or hey, what do you want to come over?

Yeah. That kind of stuff. But if you had to have your perfect night, like you set up for your guy, that hot birthday present night, what is like your favorite night? Is it, you know, being with one of your solo guys, like a new. hot twink or is it having watching and doing a threesome with your guy in another bottom and watching him what is your favorite thing so for kathia i can tell you i can tell you one time my partner was he was on a work trip he was coming back home and i was like you know what i was like i was like i'm going to fuck a couple of guys while you're gone is that okay he's like absolutely yeah so i actually

arranged it that the day he got back, like he was coming back on, let's say, a Sunday night. That Sunday, I lined up four guys to breed me. Oh my God. That's a lot of breeding shit inside of you. Oh, my God. And I literally was dripping cum out of my ass between going from one guy's house to another guy's house. Oh, my God. You know, I just, I just taped a guy that called himself a cum dump. And he was like, that's what you were that day. You were a cum dump. I was literally a cum-down. Yeah.

I was super hot. I got back and I talked to my boyfriend, so I was like the fit float in me. And what did he say? Was he totally hot for that or was he jealous? Oh, it was hot. He was like, oh, my gosh, I didn't know this was going to happen. Yeah. And it was a pleasant surprise.

And so that kind of a scenario is hot for you. That was super hot. I would love to be in a gang bang, Kathy, but logistically, I don't know if. I can do it. Well, it's hard to set up a gang bang. There's people that are just like gangbang coordinators. Hey, do you live in Canada? There's a guy.

The guy that I just told you I taped recently and he calls himself a cum dump, he found a guy on Twitter that is in Canada and he literally has guys come over and he sets up gangbanks for them and they just sit there and they just get, you know, guys to fuck them all day. And he sets everything up and guys just go to him and he's the facilitator. Well, if you want to set up a gay one, maybe... No, these are gay. These are gay.

Oh, they are gay. Yes, this guy is gay. Yeah, he was a gay man, too. It's for gays, it's not that typical. We have bathhouses, right? Oh, yeah, you're right. Like, your swingers thing, right? It's like you go and you can be straight, you could be gay, you could be anything.

So then why haven't you gone there to do it? Well, it's tough. I don't know if I could logistically handle that many men. Oh, okay. And one of my dreams, and I've only, I've done this, once, but I've never done to completion is to be dimble penetrated. What do you mean? And have them finish at the same time inside me.

Oh, so two dicks inside you at the same time. You did it once? I've done it once, but I've maybe lasted two minutes. Hilarious. Well, it's a lot to handle, so as you can imagine. Did you wind up having a prostate orgasm at that time because you had so much inside you that it gave you a prostate orgasm? No, you know what?

Prostate orgasms for me happen from distant pounding, but not even like super deep. Oh, interesting. Okay, because really the prostate is like right under the taint, right there, right? It's not like all the way deep inside you. No, it's not all the way in your stomach when people are like, oh my gosh, I need a 14-inch cost to, you're like, what? No, that's the past, you bet you missed the mark a long time ago.

So you didn't, those two dicks inside of you, it was. great just because it was great, but it's not like you need two dicks inside of you to have a prostate orgasm. For you, you could have them through just getting, having sex, right? But it's not, when they don't go deep, that's the key. Totally. And that's and it happens all the time where I'm like, I'm coming and I didn't even touch myself. Wow, isn't that crazy? When did you realize you could do that? From being, from being from being pounded. No, but do you remember like your first prostate orgasm? Because I would feel like you'd be like, holy fuck, like how'd that happened? Do you remember? Did that happen early on?

So I realized, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm leaking. And it was like, oh, my God, it's pumped. I'm coming. Yeah. So, and it was like mind blowing, it felt so good. And I can keep going. That was the thing. It's kind of like, for guys normally, it's like you come and you're done.

Forget about it. I can turn on anymore, right? But because I didn't actually feel like I came, I could come again. Yeah, crazy. And the thing about bottoming is you don't have to be always be hard. right. It's hard all the time as your bottoming could be difficult. So sometimes you're soft and you're like, I'm coming. How is it possible? But it feels amazing. Oh, interesting. Does it feel like the same as a regular orgasm or different? No, it feels more like your prostate orgasm, you could say, like when you put something

inside yourself. And when you do that, when you like get to get on your back, your legs up, but sometimes you're not hard as well. You're just mentally making yourself come. Yeah, that's crazy. no touching hands free from no touching yeah it's almost like a wet dream but just like you're aware of it yeah that's so funny when you did the dp did you do it with this guy it was a long time ago when i was younger and i didn't even know about paupers back then so i wonder if i had it poppers if i had poppers back then if i could have handled it more because i would been more relaxed yeah yeah yeah i didn't even realize that that's what poppers were for so dumb yeah it makes you make you be able to take it and And I've been, at a various points in my life, I've been trying to train myself to go because to handle more by buying thicker dildos and using paupers and trying to see what's pushing my limit.

But that's the eventual goal is to have a DP three-so where they both finish and meet the same time. Yeah, interesting. And so now do you, so you learn to sort of take it more like bigger things, like larger insertions just with like toys and stuff like that? Yeah, and a lot of times, even before I, because for anal sex, it's hard to do it like seven days of a week. Yeah. And I, between sessions, you feel like, you're like, oh gosh, I tightened up again. I'm like, I can't take it anymore. You, I've learned to ensure, like, different sizes to kind of train yourself to open up to make it easier for you.

And I definitely recommend that for everybody. If you're planning on music, doing anal sex, put in a little bit. of a butt plug. Just to keep it open for a little while and then train yourself to handle a little bit more before you actually take the whole thing. That would be my advice as a gay person who does a lot of anal fact. Train yourself. Don't just go for it.

It's going to hurt and it's going to stop and you're not going to get a full experience. Train yourself and prepare yourself. Yeah, that's smart. I've only gotten one guy to allow me to use a butt plug on him and he loved it. He was the only guy that was cool enough to be like, okay, guys are. or so a lot of times anti. That's why I'm always on a mission. I'm always promoting my butter wellness product.

Because what's great about the butter wellness thing is you don't have, you don't put it inside, right? You just kind of massage your tint. That's the male G spot, right? And that's how you have that prostate orgasm. Any gay man have, do most gay men have prostate orgasms because they're having so much anal? I would say if you're a bottom or if you're averse or if you're comfortable with that area. Yeah.

Absolutely. You should be having. You should be having prostate orgasms and knowing where your prostate is and all that. And being familiar with your body. Yeah, where is it? Explain to people. Is it like right on the, like right what on the is it like you can get it on the outside, right? It's hard.

I would say it's a little harder to get at from the outside. You almost need to do like a finger curl action to find it. It almost feels you could say like a raspberry. You massage that area. And it's not just like you, and people think you touch it and your orgasms. That's not true. And you could say, Kathy, after you have anal sex and that prostate gets pounded more, when you come, it's a lot more than you normally would. Oh, really?

Because of that stimulation to the prostate. It produces more sperm, you mean, or ejaculate? You ejaculate way more. Let's say you normally ejaculate a teaspoon. Now you're probably pushing it to three teaspoons. Oh, wow. And that could be helped for a lot of people. Yeah, for sure.

I'm a big comer. I come a lot. It keeps coming. So when I, when I masturbate versus when I come from sex, it's vastly different. Wow, that's so interesting. So I never, I never heard of that that it produces more. And that's like a real thing. Yeah, totally.

Totally. But this is way more. Yeah. And you're like, and it just feels so good because it's like rope after rope coming out. You're like, oh my gosh, when is this going to stop? Yeah, no, I know guys are always into their loads. And I think it's like a bad job honor if you do a lot. Absolutely.

Everybody wants the big load. Yeah, totally. And every guy wants to produce a big load, right? Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. The straight guys that I know, they're like, how was my load? They're very impressed with their sperm. Man, and it comes out, that's fine.

Yeah, yeah. Some shoot, some don't. It really is different. Your guy that you're with now, is he just a top or is he versus? Or is he just a top to him? He's just a top. Earlier in life, he was more versed. Yeah.

But I want to say at some point in your life, you kind of dedicate yourself to one part of the art. But there are a lot of people that are truly versatile, right? But most people pick a side is what you're saying? I mean, I want to say most people pick aside or lean towards the side, right? When you go on Grindr, everybody's versed so you can be part of every pool. Yeah. But when it comes down to it, they have a preference.

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, but they're just saying it. Or even that day they have a preference. Maybe they went to a buffet yesterday and they can't bottomed today. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Or they had seafood yesterday. So they're not bonding today. Yeah, or they just fucked and bottomed five guys the day before. They're just not going to do it again.

Exactly, exactly, exactly. Now, because do feelings ever come into play with any of these side guys for either one of you? Has that ever been an issue? feelings. I mean, like catching feelings. Yeah, I would think that that doesn't happen when guys are hooked. Like, I think guys are much better at keeping their emotional feelings, like, separate from sex. Whereas sometimes, and I think a lot of times when I hear couples, heteros couples that are playing solo, I'm like, you got to watch out.

You don't want people to cop feelings. For sure, you know, I'm always worried. Like, I'm always worried. My gosh, is my partner going to leave me for this guy that I've led him with? Yeah, of course. That's what I mean. But we both make ourselves very aware of each other in our relationships, right? I talk about my partner with my, with the other guys I'm playing with.

Yeah. I talk about my boyfriend in front of them and how, where we're going next weekend. Yeah. And I think he does the same. It's always a concern, right? But it's also a little bit hot that he's into other people. Wow, that's interesting. Right?

Like, I, the other day, I actually found it very hot. He told me that he wanted to meet up with this guy. that he's been talking to on Grindr. And I was like, okay, cool. And as we were, we were watching TV hanging out, but I saw him, like, constantly texting his phone, like texting with this guy, messaging with this guy. And it kind of turned me on to be like, wow,

my partner is so into this guy. He's, like, setting this up and making it happen for himself. It turned me on that we had sex, actually, that night afterwards. But what actually happened was, I was like, hey, I'm going to come, but you're not going to come tonight because I want you to save your load for tomorrow so that you have fun with this guy. Oh, my God. You really are a cook. So you can give him the biggest load possible passing, right?

Go breed him. That wasn't on the table. That wasn't on the table, but it was like, give him a big load. Maybe you can breed him next time. Yeah. Now, who gives blow jobs in a situation? Like, I always wonder, because I get a lot of guys on my show that are just like straight guys that just want to suck a dick every now and then. And we always wonder, is that the bottom or the bottom?

Are they the bottom or are they the top? Who's the... Everybody blows each other. Okay. And you're... Okay. Okay. We all...

You all like a dick in the mouth. We all... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I don't like being blown, to be honest with you. Really? So I'm very upfront about it. I'm a pleaser.

I love giving slow jobs. I love deep throating to deep throat. But I don't prefer getting blown, but I like eating now. So like eat my ass all very well. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So you don't like... You said everyone does suck dick, but you don't really

prefer. I've had people suck my dick before I suck dick. It's not like a top or bottom thing, you could say. Yeah, yeah, I get it. But for you because you're such a pleased. It's just a you thing. For you because you're such a pleaser. You like to do it, but you don't

care about it being done for you. Exactly. Even if we're 69, I prefer them eat me out versus them sucking my dick. Oh, so you don't even care about getting blown. You care about blowing them because you're the pleaser. Totally. Totally. Yeah. We get it back, Kathy. And what about your

and your guy? So does he beg you to let him suck your dick? Or is he fine not ever doing it for you and just like having you please him? He must be in heaven. Oh no. He'll suck my dick sometimes, but it's just not my super thing. Like I'd rather have my nipples played with or my ass eating than my dick being sucked. But he'll suck my dick and it happens. It's not like I'm throwing him off of Yeah. It's just okay. Now it's great. I'm hard. Keep doing it. But then it's okay. Now let's move on to the next thing because I enjoy pleasing you.

Yeah. How old are you guys now? I'm early 30s and he's mid 30s. Okay. And now do you plan on getting married? Are you into that? That is my life plan. Kathy, to be married, have kids one day and live the normal lifestyle. Live the normal life. Yeah, I love that. And now you can. But yeah, but it's harder for gay. Kathy as in having kids. I could try to be bread as many times as I want, Kathy. I don't think I'm trying. No, no, no, I know. I used a surrogate, by the way, and had a kid.

I'm my own and everything. So I went through a lot of the same processes you would have to go through. But it's so worth it. And now that I'm older, I'm more investigated and that kind of stuff. Like, I always wonder when I see gay people have to get them. Like, how? How did you do it? Yeah.

How did you do? What program did you go through? Was a surrogate? Was it actually your sperm or was it someone else's sperm? Yeah, yeah. You know. You know. Everybody's different, right?

I know I always thought if I want to, like later on when I have kids, I want my own biological kids. I didn't like they came from me. Yeah. Somehow. Yeah. Whether it's through serenegacy or whatever. Yeah.

And some gay couples, they'll do, they'll have two kids so that each one gets to use their sperm each time. Has their kid. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Huh? Super interesting. There's so many different options, but what's amazing now is that, A, it is legal, right?

Is it illegal in every state for gay men to get married or no? Kathy, I'm not sure, to be honest with you. You know, listen, when I did my surrogate, when I had my son via surrogate, it wasn't even legal in New York City. I live in New York City. My son had to be born in. And that's so open. Yeah, can you believe?

But you know where it was more open and was so much more progressive was Oregon, okay? Who knew? I'm thinking I live in New York City the most. liberal greatest place no we were so behind it wasn't even legal here and over in san francisco in oregon in that area it was just so common and they had been doing it since the dawn of time and that's why i chose there because i felt like it was the safest because they've been doing that forever now it's legal in so many more places but there's so many options for you to have exactly what you want when the time is right do you see yourself with this guy is he do you feel like

he might be the one i hope so, but it's difficult. I see myself with a lot of, when I'm dating, it's hard because it's, oh my gosh, I could see my life with this man. But I hope so. We share a lot of values in common. And I think in the past with my previous partners, it's yes, we're sexually compatible, but it's like we weren't in open relationships, right? And I truly believe that I want to be with someone who is open, like we are, so that we are honest with each other. It's a lot. It's but easier being honest when you truly share the same values. Yeah, totally.

And it is easier to trust when you do feel like you have full transparency from a partner. Don't you think? Sometimes, sometimes absolutely, Kathy. Like sometimes when we come back and we review our play sessions, I'm like, oh, I want to omit this detail because I'm afraid that my partner won't like that. Then I'm like, wait a minute. Why? He's okay with that. I know he's okay with that.

Don't omit anything. Just keep going. And you don't admit. Yeah, and then it's an honest, truthful relationship. Listen, you got a really good guy right now. It sounds like you guys match up in every way. And that's hard to find, right? It's easier said than done, even in the gay community, don't you think?

You like to be a cuck. He likes to do that. You're both totally open. He hasn't been uncool about it. You hear these stories where people are open and they're still hiding shit from each other. It's like ridiculous. but it sounds like you guys have been open and been able to do a lot of things with each other and separate from each other and be cool with it and still be in love and okay. And I think that that's hard to find.

Or maybe it's easier in the gay really in the gay world to find that. I don't know. You tell me. Honestly, I want to say it might be slightly easier because we're all we're all sluts and horny in the gay community. Exactly. Yeah. But but but then we find harder to find commitment. finding partners that want to be in a serious relationship with you, right?

Are we dating or are we just fuck buddies? So your guy that was wired like you. He wanted a relationship too, though, as well as to have his fuck buddies on the side. Yes. Like we want a future together. It's not like we're just playing. We live together now. It's more serious than just we're having sex.

Yeah, I love that. And is he out with his family? Does his family know? Yeah. He's been out for a lot longer than I have. have been. I've met his family. He's met my family. They all get along. And we, we have, we have a great time. Who would propose? If you were going to get like when gay men get engaged, who proposes? How does that work? I've already, I've always told myself in my life,

Kathy, that I would be the one who gets proposed to. You want someone to be that person. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's how you see it. And is you're the guy the kind that would take, take that on? the guy that you're with? I think so. I think so. That's kind of what I look for in a man. Like when, yeah, I think so. Yeah, so maybe it's more top of the guy to be the guy who proposes and the bottom is the one who gets reposed to. Is that like the stereotype? I don't know. That seems like it, but it's not always the case, Kathy.

I want to say that I've seen other things happen before. A lot of times they both propose to each other, right? I've seen that happen to in the gay community a lot. Yeah, it's interesting. me because I want you'd wonder right same thing with women too who because typically in the heterosexual world it's always the man but why can it be the woman right why not yeah some woman make a lot of women make more money than men now like they can buy a ring and they can propose why not yeah yeah it's totally interesting I love your story toby it's you're you constantly doing poppers is that a part of your

like everyday thing or is that just like when you're on vacations you know what I've been more into it recently, I'll jerk off using paupers too. Wow. To get really into it and get myself a really big load. And honestly, sometimes it makes my erections harder because I'm so turned on. How much are they to buy the vial? How much is the vial? 15 bucks a bottle.

That's it? You could say. Yeah. And are they legal? Throw it in the freezer, close it up. And I hear girls use it too. Now, I don't know what girls use it for because I don't know much about girls. Maybe to open up, same thing.

Maybe anal. open up their match. Relax. Feel euphoric. Yeah. I've heard girls use it too. Do not get it on yourself. Yeah, it causes that.

But my last question is like, is it illegal? I don't even know. Because Wippets were the type of thing where you could get it, but they're not illegal, but they're not really, nobody's supposed to say

you're using it to get high. I know for a fact that it says in the bottle, do not inhale it. But that is absolutely how we use it. So it's legal. And it's something you could get anywhere? No, so a lot of sex places will sell it, but sometimes you have to ask for it.

Oh, do you have, sometimes they call it video head cleaner, like a VHS cleaner. Apparently they use it to clean VHS or shoe polish. So you go in there and you're like, you have the VHS cleaner or shoe polish. And honestly, guys, all the males, I would recommend you. Just try it once, right? And I give it, it's fun. But don't, but give the disclaimer of A, don't get it on your body. and B, breathe, tell people how to be safe.

Yeah. Inhale it, hold your breath for three seconds, exhale it, and then keep breathing through the headbrush, through everything. Don't re-inhale it again until your head is completely clear and you know what's happening. Try, start very, very, very minimally, right? One inhale through one nostrils for two seconds and then that's it. And then work your way if you want to. Or don't try it ever. but it's something I've recently found as an adult that I have found it's changed the game a little bit for me for both for both masturbating and for having sex.

Yeah, interesting. I never knew that I had another guy talk about Poppers. I forget what episode. But I didn't realize he didn't get that into it. I didn't realize it was like it was relaxing your muscle so that you could take it in. I never knew that that's what it was for. And it's not like Kathy Relatives. relax it's not like relaxing your muscle like oh my gosh your body's limb it literally just relaxes your

spencer muscle yeah i get it that you can take more in your hole right it's not like oh my god i don't want to be incapaceted and pass out it's no no it's just it relaxes your one stringer muscle and then you're like relax you're your flooric you feel good that's wow interesting i love it thank you to me listen i know you're listening to my show i don't know if you want to send in picks of yourself anonymous Some guys do. If you want to send an anonymous picks with your episode, that's cool. If not, it's okay. I will give you free access to my Discord if you want to go in there.

There you could post whatever you want. People were always sending me like X-rated shit. I'm like, I would tell people all the time, like only send me R-rated stuff. And then I get like videos of them like blowing people and stuff. And I'm just like, why are you sending me this? I told you nothing X-rated. So I started on my Discord and that's where people go and do all kinds of X-rated stuff. So if you want to go on there, I'll send you a free.

free link and if you want to send me picks just send me picks but they should be anonymous for my show and thanks so much for calling in toby and sharing your story i love it super interesting i wonder how many people are going to go try poppers because of what you're talking about all right be safe thank you so much gathy for having me thanks toby thanks so much for coming on the show how can is there anything i could do for you share the show or anything like that yeah when the episode yeah of course when the episode airs absolutely share it please i love that any kind of stuff and that that always helps a show, absolutely. But also going in my Discord and talking to people is great

and hitting five star wherever you listen to my show. That helps too. I will absolutely do that, Kathy. You're the best. I really enjoy your show. And thank you so much. Thanks, Toby. Thanks for calling in.

Thank you, Kathy. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback an e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th,

but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbbing girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all. all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around.

You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there.

You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.