Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 953 - GIRL TALK: How to Pick Up Chicks w/Elsa Moreck

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

Dating coach, Elsa Moreck called in to give advice to guys on how to pick up chicks. Tune in to hear all the details including why she stated coaching men instead of women, how and why pick up artistry doesn’t work in the long term, how to pick up the correct signals on a date and why it’s so important, how to know if a girl is interested in you, what a guy can to to become more confident when hitting on women, the demographics of the guys she coaches, how she uses exposure therapy and why it works, the difference between a nice guy and a good guy, how and why she transforms nice guys into good guys, how and why the dating game has really changed, why women don’t really want to settle down anymore, the red pill movement and what it stands for, how women sometimes lose themselves in marriage and why they’re shouldn’t, how and why the dating world is so polarizing, trad wives and what they are vs sexually liberated women and how they’re similar plus a whole lot more. https://www.instagram.com/elsamoreck/ **To see pics of ELSA + anonymous pics of most of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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up your relationship, I can now offer you a free trial to SDC. Okay, that's a free trial. You want to check it out. It's sdc.com. Use my code 37712. that's 3771 or just go to the description and click the link. SDC is great. I've always been wanting to partner up with an adult dating site.

I chose SDC because that's the one that most of my callers are on and the one that most of my callers like the most. They're all over. They're worldwide. So, you know, you could go on there and meet like-minded people in your area or if you're traveling and you want to hook up with someone on vacation. You're going to be able to find people there.

And what's also great about it is not only can you meet people on there, You could also find out about all the Swinger events and Swinger parties and hotel takeovers and swinger clubs and gangbings, you name it. It's all on that site. And you get a free trial, like I said, just use my code 37712 or go to the description and click on the link and you'll be taken right there. Now listen, today I have on Elsa Morick. She's a dating coach.

She's cool. She's a hot girl. Okay, you got to go to her Instagram to see who you're talking to. She's a hot girl that teaches guys how to pick up girls. But she's not like it's not like a cheesy pickup artist kind of thing. She just really is like a dating coach. She worked with women and then she started working with men. And then she went on to like TikTok and started doing videos and became like viral.

And then she really realized like, oh, she was going to specialize in men. She helps men, you know, learn how to pick up women. She works with all different kinds of men. She talks about that. But mostly what we talk about here is dating and guys, what to do. do what not to do, how to tell if a girl likes you. We talk about a lot of different things. We cover a lot in this episode. She's super smart. She knows what she's fucking talking about. You are going to learn a lot about men and women on this call. If you want to learn more, definitely go to her

Instagram. She's got a lot of really great videos with a lot of great tips on there. But you're going to hear a lot of her tips on here too. All of the links to her stuff will be in the description. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Elsa. Hi, Elsa, Matt Morick. Elsa Morick, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. How are you today? I am excellent. How are you? I'm good.

So, Elsa, you're a dating coach, right? I mean, like, what guy can't use a dating coach? I mean, you do speak to men, right? You're a dating coach for men. I don't know if you coach women, too, but I think a lot of guys are the ones that need the advice. Yeah, so I'd say both need the advice for sure. Right.

But I started out working actually with women. And yes, I made this switch four years ago, a little over four years ago now, because first of all, I noticed that when I was working with just women, it would always complain about men. And, you know, naturally, that's what they're there for. They're there to air their grievances and get support. But what I noticed was when I would talk to single men, they too had similar grievances. And it sounded like both men and women were complaining about the exact same thing. but they were just missing each other. So I started out working with women,

and then I was like, you know what? I think I need to work with both. So then I started to bring on men, and I had several co-ed masterminds where I would have men and women in the exact same group learning about dating and having very honest discussions. And then I got approached by a publisher to write a book called Dating for Men.

And when it came time to actually market the book, I got on TikTok for the first time ever. And as an experiment, I made all my videos catering to men. And my second video went viral. It got over 100K views within a few hours of posting it. And every video since kept going viral. So I got the hunch that maybe I should be focused on men. Then I started reposting those same videos on Instagram and same thing.

They just kept going viral, 750K. you know, 1.2 million. And it just kept seeming that when I would talk to women, you know, they would do okay. But when I would talk to men, it would really resonate. And why do you think that is? Do you have an idea? I think that men really want to learn from women. Yeah.

You know, traditionally there, we have pickup artists, like pickup artistry. Yeah. And that was great. Like it definitely served a big, big, big need. The problem with pickup artistry is over time. women started catching, they just started picking up on it. Like they, a woman could feel when a guy was rehearsing a line that didn't originate from him. Totally.

She could feel when he was kind of like trying to gamify the system. And I, you know, I used to always say this, like a pickup, pickup artist might get you to sleep with someone, but they're not always going to be able to get you to keep that engagement going. Because you can keep up the charades, you know, for an hour or two, maybe even an entire first date. Oh, I think people could do it for eight months. But at some point, your real fucking self is going to come out. And that's why people break up. Exactly. And plus, it just doesn't really work on confident women.

Like the whole negging thing. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. Oh, no. I know all about the pickup stuff. And it, listen, it actually like works. It's like, you know, it's psychology 101. You could get someone addicted by really fucking with their head. the way that they do, right? Exactly. It's the hamster in the wheel, but you are not getting

them to like you. You are mind-fucking them into getting addicted to you, and they are not even close to giving a shit about who you are. It is no different than the mouse and that thing. So where does that go? Nowhere, if you ask me. You know what I mean? It's all bullshit. And I would even, and I would even argue that a healthy woman, it's kind of like, it's kind of like right now. Like I try to observe a very low sugar and low processed food diet. Yeah. I mean, you could try to tempt me with a donut covering sugar. Yeah.

But more than likely, I have the discipline to say no, thank you. And I feel like it's the same thing with a confident woman. I love that. You can try to tempt her with those mind games. But if she's been there, done that and she knows herself and she's confident, she's probably going to pass on you. And I think that that to answer your question was why I kind of just went viral right away. because I think that there was a gap in the market for good, solid men who recognize that they are a typical nice guy and they're being overlooked, but they also don't want to be, they don't want to feel an authentic or cheesy.

So they were looking for like, what's that advice that has me feeling more assertive and confident, but also still has me feeling like myself? And I was one of the first people, at least on TikTok, to fill that need. Yeah, I love that. And I think, don't you think, too, it has a little bit to do with, like, women. We could go to our girlfriends and talk about dating and right. I mean, that's what we spend all our time on the phone with our friends when we're in the dating mode, right? Exactly. Analyzing every move that they do. Guys don't talk to their guy friends about that. So where do they get that information, you know, from women. And especially, like, if they're getting it from another woman, I think that's like key, right? Because they're like, oh, this is exactly what I want to know. And, you know, if you're like a woman doing it, it's like perfect. So I think it's, sense. And to play devil's advocate, because I don't know if you've ever heard this before, but online, there's this quote of don't ask a fish, how to fish, ask a fisherman. Have you ever heard that? Of course. Yeah. That argument. Yeah. So to be fair, because some men listening to this, yeah, some men listening to this might be skeptical. Like, why would I ask a woman when I could, like a woman, if she's straight, has not dated a bunch of other women. So why wouldn't I just, ask a man. Oh, come on. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Because you want to date a woman and you're a woman.

You know, you're going to tell them exactly what you want. Men and women are from Mars. Like men are from Mars, Women for Venus. That book was a brilliant genius shit. Okay, it's very true. A guy will never understand a woman the way a woman does. So who better than tell them how to get a girl, a girl, not a guy.

Exactly. And not just that, but the way that we work with women, because when I work with clients, I'm not the only one giving them perspective. I bring other single women into my program to also weigh in. Love that. And the way that we have them be useful to these men is we actually have to coach the women on being honest. Because in the real world, when a woman goes on a date with a guy and she's not really feeling it, I'm not going to say 100% of the time, but I would argue at least 80% of the time, she's not going to tell him why. Totally.

So she's going to tell him why. let him down easy. She's going to let it naturally fizzle out. She might come up with some excuse about work or school or whatever, but it's highly unlikely that she's going to sit down and make a bulleted list of like, here are all the ways that you fumble it and why I'm just not feeling it. Yeah, yeah, I love that. They women don't know really know how to do that and they don't really feel incentivized to. So part of our job is coaching women as well on giving men honest feedback. Yeah, and men need that. How else are they going to learn, you know? Exactly. Why don't we start with those signs that women, like, aren't interested?

Like, are there the top five signs that a woman isn't interested when you're out with her? She's not being honest, like you said, in that scenario? Yeah, that's a good question. I actually had a client recently, Adam, who was on a date, and he was pretty disappointed because he thought in his mind that everything was going really well. And I'm sure people listening to this are going to find they're going to hear themselves in the story. Yeah. But, you know, he's a electric engineer, very analytical.

And, you know, he shows up to the date on time. She's on time as well. She's dressed nicely. So he assumes, oh, okay, she put an effort. You know, everything is looking good so far. They met online. They sit and they talk for like three and a half hours nonstop. She's laughing.

He's laughing. Everything seems really good. And then at the, toward the end of the date, you know, He asks her for the next date. She says, sure, you know, that sounds great. And then nothing, like radio silence. The next day he reaches out to her. You know, he says, I have fun last night.

I'm excited to see you on Thursday. Nothing. No response. Nata. And so he's wondering what went wrong. And so he's repeating, you know, the sequence of events to me. Like, here's what happened. She showed up.

She was laughing. We talked. I'm just so confused. And so I ask a very simple question. did you kiss? Right. No. No.

Okay. Was there any instance of physical touch? Well, no. Did you flirt? I don't know. What would that look like? I break it down for him. No, there wasn't any of that.

And so this happens to so many men. They think that because they had a long conversation and she was smiling and laughing and everything seemed to be good, that she's into them. Right. But if you have. haven't tried to flirt with her. If you haven't tried to, with consent, of course, initiate physical touch. And then you don't actually know if she likes you or not. You're just two friends having

dinner. And if anything, you know, let's be really honest here. If anything, she's having a free meal with a pleasant guy, which is not a terrible deal. No, what I've said on those situations, I've been in that situation, go out with a guy on a date. I get there. He doesn't look as good as his pictures. He's not that interesting to me. I know in two seconds I'm not into him, right? Why do I hang out with him for two hours? Because I'm like having fun talking about myself. I swear to God. I swear to God. I'm just like, enjoying myself. And I'm like, oh, like, I had fun. You know, it was good. I just like used it for entertainment. Yeah, yeah, why not? You got dressed up. Yeah. You're like, you're hair, you make your makeup. But you're like, I'll have two cocktails and chat with you. Yeah, but I used to make jokes with my girlfriends.

Like there's no way this guy has a clue I didn't like. I'm like, why else would I sit there for two hours? But I'm like, I just find myself in. I got to talk about myself. But right there, like I didn't ask him one question about himself. I mean, that's a sign. And even, and you know, even when they do, and that's what confused is a lot. Because you're like, she asked questions. And she didn't break eye contact.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, I mean, you're not a terrible person to hang out with. Yeah. But the real test was if you flirted, how did she respond? If you touched her, how did she react? And did you kiss? Because those are the real indicators that she's interested. Yeah.

So to answer your question, how do you know if she's not interested? It's tricky. It's tricky because that situation that I just outlined is what happens 85% of the time. Right. And a very small percent of the time, you'll get a very straight shooting woman who is like, hey, you seem awesome. I already know I'm not interested. You know, we'll just split the bill and go our separate ways. Like when does that ever happen?

Very, very, very rarely. It takes a very special kind of very, very. want woman to do that. Most women are going to sit with you and entertain the date. But I'd say that if you initiate physical touch, which again is something that I teach, I teach men how to do it in a way that is consensual and that is like situationally appropriate. Like you're not just going to grab her, you know, randomly when she's not expecting. You're going to do it in a way that's romantic and spontaneous, but also with consent. So if you do that and she responds favorably or if she says,

no, but she gives a reason that has nothing to do with how attracted she is to you, because that's possible to, then you're on the right track. Right. But what about that? Like, so how do you get that guy to have the confidence to do that? So how I do that with clients is you got to practice. Yeah. And most people don't want to hear that because they're like, wait a second, I don't want to go out and practice on real women in the real world, which is totally fair. That's why, you know, not to my own program, but that's why we do drills in our program. So we do. We do. drills that simulate real life. Oh, love that.

That have you practicing these in a safe environment where the woman knows that you're there to practice. And you'd be astonished how quickly it feels real. Like, even though you know it's a drill, like, it's actually really easy to get into the feel of what it would be like. When you practice over and over and over and over again in a controlled environment, then when you're out in the real world, you notice those micro signals that women give. that they want you to do something,

that they want you to approach, that they want you to escalate. And then there's no rejection because then you're aware. You're like, oh, okay, she just moved her leg. I try to move in and she moved away. Noted.

Right. Like, I'm not going to keep, you know, I'm not going to keep going for it when she's showing me with her body, which makes up for 95% of how we communicate, that she's not interested. What are your, can I ask you,

you know, what's the demographics of your body? your clients, your male clients. Are they typically, like, of a certain age, or are they across the board, or are they young, you know, are they divorced guys? Because I called, like, I have a whole thing about, like, Dickless, I call them Dickless divorcees. I don't know, because, you know, I'm older, so I've seen guys go through long-term marriages that went bust, and then they got divorced, and they are just like, you know, guys with no game, you know, like totally different guys, they come out on the other side, you know, and those guys need a lot of help to get back in the

game and stuff. Do you see guys of all different stages in life and ages? For sure. Yeah. I have a lot of engineers. I have a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of salespeople, anywhere between the ages of 24 and never had a girlfriend, sometimes even still virgins, all the way up to like 53 divorced, three kids getting back into the dating scene. Yeah. I mean, you would never call him Dickless. divorcees. Those are my friends. I'm just saying that to my friends. But you know what I mean? Like they just have no game. They've been out of it for so long. You know, it's a weird place to be. But they need help too. They do. Yeah. As well as that my divorcees, yeah, pick up the fastest on the

learnings. Like they, my divorcees are probably amongst the most impressive that I work with, just because they're rusty, but it's kind of like riding a bike. Yeah, smart. You have that foundation. So once you're, once you start working with me, you start to immediately see results, is really exciting for them. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, they've already scored that girl, right? Exactly. But that's very different than that poor guy who's 24 that might be kind of shy, you know,

and has no game and is a virgin. I've talked to those guys, too. How do you help those guys? You know, it's interesting. I have a famous case because he was my first one, Victor. I worked with him several years back. And he was a 28-year-old virgin. Yeah. Software engineer, extreme social anxiety, to the extent that this is before I had a sales

team, before I had anyone else working for me. I was a one woman show. Yeah. So I did my own sales and I got on, you know, the call for us to decide are we going to work together. He could not make eye contact with me. Right. And it was so hard because I'm like, I didn't say anything because I'm like, all right, we're going to work all this out. But on our first session, I had challenge him to maintain eye contact with me. He's already like paid me to be his coach. Yeah. And so we have a lot of work to do.

But through exposure therapy, so exposure therapy, meaning just by him hanging out in my presence as someone that he'd seen on Instagram, someone that he found, you know, objectively attractive. Like he wasn't trying to date me, but he was like, yeah, someone like you would be cool. Someone who's smart and funny and pretty. like that's more or less in my age range. So just by hanging out with me, he started to normalize what it's like to be in the presence of a woman,

which is something that he had never had to do before because he has a brother. And he works in a male dominated field. It was during COVID where everyone was working from home. So just being exposed to a woman on a weekly basis was very nourishing for him. And it was helping him to start to grow in that way. Anyway, how I help someone. like that. So through exposure therapy, which I just mentioned, another thing is a lot of visualization. So I do a lot of like guided meditations, guided visualizations. I mean, we, we've known for a long

time now that professional athletes use these, actors use these, public speakers use these, world class presenters use visualization as a way to decrease performance anxiety. So I do the same in my programs. I customize visualizations according to that person's strengths and that person's fears. And we really focus on diminishing those fears when they are alone. That way, when they are in person, their subconscious mind has already kind of started to normalize that experience. And then lastly, I work with people in communities. So I have, you know, I've been running group programs pretty much since when I first started eight years ago. And the group, the group effect is so powerful because here you are a 20 year old virgin you know you're you're thinking to yourself i'm not

the conventional attractive guy i'm not white i'm not six two you know i'm not super buff like i'm this small indian dude and i'm i have this strong accent i have very little experience who's to say that it's going to work for me yeah but then you meet someone else who looks like you and it's similar to you demographically and you see him starting to rise and get results it gives you permission. It starts to make it normal for you. Like, oh, well, if Vichal over there can do it, then I can too. If this guy over there can do it and we look similar and we're kind of like, you know, similar walks of life, then maybe it's possible for me too. And so the group effect is very powerful. So that particular student, when he signed up with me, I had several clients here

in Austin. They actually went out in person. As one of the assignments I gave them, they went out in person to a bar and within 45 minutes he was making out with a woman that he just met at the guy the 24 year old yeah yeah the guy yeah victor how much how much work did he do like how how long did he work with you before he had together two and a half months we'd been working together two and a half months that's not bad that's amazing yeah and when we wrapped up our time together which so he did extend his program with me but when he wrapped up at around six months he had he had a girlfriend that he asked out in person which was a very big deal to him because up to that point, he had relied on dating apps.

Yeah. Up to that point, meaning up until the point that he met me, when we started working together, like most students, they'll usually ditch the apps within, I'd say four to six weeks. It was when they usually start ditching the apps.

Yeah. And just relying on in-person stuff. But, but yeah, he had a girlfriend and he had asked her out in person himself. And so, yeah, it's totally possible. And he's not the first virgin.

He was the first version. worked with, but he wasn't the last one that I worked with. Oh, of course. There's that market's out there. There are many. Yeah. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like it. Let me tell you, I just had a woman on who I interviewed. I haven't posted her episode yet. Bella Commons is her name. She's one of the only madams like of a legal brothel here in the U.S. She's very famous. She's been running this Cherry's Ranch in Nevada forever. She's just a smart ass business woman. She's never been a courtisan herself or anything, but she ran this business in this male dominated world. And, you know, made it this huge success.

And she was talking about how she gives virgins discounts because she lives, like in Nevada, they're very close to some of these places where it's a lot of like Mormon communities and really religious communities. And you have a high amount of like men in those places that are still virgins. And she's like really helping them. So they exist. It's not like an anomaly. You know what I mean?

Like they talk about. I will say though, and I'm wondering if she can vouch for this. Yeah. There's a difference, at least in my experience, there's a difference in. confidence between a man who's selectively still a virgin. Yeah, that makes sense. It just happened. Of course.

So like this gentleman, he didn't want to be a virgin. Right. He just had extreme social anxiety. Yeah. I've worked with other men who because of their faith were saving it. I still actually have virgins who are saving it into marriage. But it's a different confidence level because it's their choice. Yeah.

I've worked with other men who because of their faith were saving it. I still actually have virgins. who are saving it into marriage. But it's a different confidence level because it's their choice. Yep. I've talked to the guys, the first guys that you said, the guys who are, you know, virgins, not by choice, but because they just haven't had the balls or whatever. They just are two in their head.

You know, there's a lot of reasons, you know. And when I'm talking to them, a lot of times, I have a sex show, right? Like a podcast and these guys are calling up because they're going and getting happy-ending massages and doing all these things and wasting their time, you know, sort of having intimate relationships that are very transactional because they don't feel comfortable to get out in the real world and put themselves out there. And the more you do that, the more afraid you're going to be, right? Because it's like what you resist persists, right? So if you're so petrified of whatever, the more you avoid it, the more that fear is going to come up, right? And then you have these guys

that you spend 10 years, you know, avoiding that. And it only gets worse, right? The older you get because you just get more in your head. So I know that. What about the whole thing like nice guys finish last. You know what I mean? There's always like, you know, those guys. I'm sure you talk to those guys. I do. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'd say the majority of my clients are nice guys. I've worked with, I've worked with you who are not typical nice guys, but then when you dig deeper, you find out they are. Yeah. So honestly, I'd say all my clients are nice guys. And I'll make a distinction between nice guy and good guy. Yeah, please. All the clients I work with are good guys. And when they start out, they're usually all nice guys too. When they're done working

with me, they are no longer nice guys, but they remain good guys. Okay, that's important. I think that's a good distinction. So a good guy is a good guy is a nice guy who has standards and boundaries. Right. Meaning

he observes social pleasantries. It's not like he's a douchebag living in his own world. He still observes what it means to follow certain like social norms, but he's got boundaries. So like if you're 25 minutes late to your date with him,

he's not going to like cuss at you. He's not going to yell at you in public. He's not going to just walk up and leave. Like he's still going to be a gentleman. But he's going to let you know that you cross the boundary. Right. Whereas a typical nice guy is someone who's a good guy who's got no boundaries and no standards. So he is going to let you push him around.

He is going to be your de facto handyman, you're de facto therapist, like pretty much whatever role you want to assign him, he's cool with it because he's so desperate for your attention that he will do anything to be there. Right. And also another feature of nice guys is that they don't know how to stand out. So on the spectrum of social norms and authenticity, let's just say that authenticity is on one end of the spectrum, you know, social norms is on the other. They are so far in the direction of social norms that they don't even have a sense of self.

Right. So in other words, you know, when you are truly authentic and you probably know this, because I can already tell just by the short bit I've talked to you that you can be polarizing, but in a very interesting way, right? Like you're, I can tell that you speak your mind and you're liberate in that way. So, but there are a lot of people who don't have that. There are a lot of people who are so suppressed that they don't know how, they don't even know who they are anymore.

They've just become an amalgamation of social expectations. And so a lot of the guys that I work with, the reason why they'll come back from a date that was three and a half hours that they thought went swimmingly and the girl was, you know, already decided that she's not going to see them again. Yeah. It's because they failed to polarize her. Right. They failed in any shape or form to make her feel like I have your back. I'm like, I can keep you safe. I have a strong sense of self.

I am solid. Instead, they're making her feel like, aw, like, you know, he's cute, like Teddy very cute. Like, I want to lean my head on his shoulder, you know, and comfort in him, but not like sexy, like I want him to ravish me. Yeah, big difference. Which can only come when you have a strong sense of self and boundaries and you're willing to be polarizing. Yeah, and that's why people will be like, oh, nice guys finished last, but it's not so much, but it's not good guys.

It's nice guys, but when nice, and I think you have to really sort of make that just, distinction. But you could help that nice guy that's nice in the wrong way, right? The desperate way, like sort of up his game without turning him into a douchebag, right? Without playing the game of the thing, right? That's what you do. Yeah, I would say it's even impossible to take a nice guy and turn them into a bad man. They just, they don't even, they don't even, that's not even in their field. Like, those guys, I don't even really come across them. Thankfully, in my program because usually when you're that guy, first of all, you're not very self-aware. Yeah.

So you're not looking for help. And secondly, unfortunately, you're usually doing well enough with women that you don't really feel the need to ask for help. But like we were talking about earlier with the pickup artist, doing well doesn't necessarily mean that you're dating healthy women and you're in a healthy relationship women with them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, let me just explain a little bit about you. just so that people know. I mean, because I think it's important in your, in your practice.

Like the fact that, like, I think it actually does help in what you do that. You're super hot. Like, you're a very hot girl, right? Thank you. You know, and so I think it's a little intimidated. Like, you're, like, up there, right? So a guy comes to you, this 24-year-old virgin. I could see why he can't look at you.

But, like, how great to sort of put him in front of a super hot girl, because that's, like, top of the mountain, right? Like, start there, you know? And then when you get out in the real world, it may be the regular girl sitting across from you can make out with her. But I think, don't you think it kind of helps that you're like super hot and you're like these guys have to practice on you?

Yeah, I appreciate how comfortable you are just saying it like it is. First of all, I do thank you. I appreciate the compliment. But also like every woman I work with is hot. Yeah. And at the risk of sounding super superficial,

yeah. It's actually like a baseline requirement. Because if you are going to be front facing and you're going to be working, with clients, I need you to kind of play two, I need you to hit two birds with one stone. Right. On the one hand, I need you to be very knowledgeable on the subject manner so that you can actually help them. But on the second hand, I need you to be the kind of woman that they're trying to attract.

Yep. Because you understand that woman's psychology. So the advice that you're giving is actually based in reality because you are that woman out in the real world. And also because your exposure therapy for them. Yeah. Every time they get on a video call with you and you look, you know, dressed to the nines, it helps them start to normalize that. And that way when they're out in the real world and they're, you know, shooting their shot with a barista or a girl that they're meeting at a dinner party, it's not their first time interacting with a pretty girl.

Exactly. And some of these guys, some guys have never been in the sphere of a super hot girl, you know? I mean, it just, especially like these kinds of guys that you're talking about, like that engineer that's probably always been very studious and super smart and highly successful, but he's just not in that world. He wasn't out parting in bars and stuff, you know, so I think it's like amazing that they can have that experience, that exposure therapy to these really hot girls. I think that that helps. It definitely does.

And with some of these guys, there's one category of men that I didn't really touch on. Yeah. But it's like the men who don't want to. settle. So usually these are around 37. They're 7 37 years old. They've built a very impressive career. They do have some dating experience. Their challenge is that they often go for women who are beneath their league, women who they feel very comfortable around. Because they don't want to be rejected by the nines and the tens. So, yes. So they have this weird psychology where it's like, I actually do pretty well for myself, just not what the woman I want.

that's interesting so there is that breed of guy and let me ask you this real quick because you know I'm older way older than you and I feel like because I have these young trainers like you know and young guys around me that I'm friends with and I just seem I just feel like there's a massive shift in gender roles as far as like the way people are interacting with each other women with men you know I find you know when I was younger like men were in a control every woman wanted a relationship and they were being rejected and they were sitting home crying because they couldn't find a fucking date. And all I find from the younger guys that I talk to now, they're all fucking crying, sitting around, can't get a girl to date them. Like there's a shift

in women, right? Like, isn't it harder for these guys to find girls to commit to them? I think they have it harder. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And there's a very simple reason for that. People want to make it about dating apps. Yes, that's part of it. But if we had to consolidate to what is the number one culprit above all else that is behind that, it's women's financial independence. Interesting. Okay. So because women are outlearning and out earning men, and we've seen this trend now for several years and it like it amplified during COVID where like university campuses were like 70, 80% women. Women have just been on a role, like professionally.

Right. And because now they no longer need a man to survive, they're actually starting to be selective. And not only are they being selective, but, you know, instinctually, most women want someone who ideally makes a little more than them. Yeah. Ideally. Yeah. You don't always get that.

But if we're talking about like, just totally, like, let's just wash away all the fluffy stuff and just get down to basics. ideally they are looking for that. That's getting harder and harder and harder to find because men have not grown at the same level. And so now men are like, wait a second, what happened? Why am I no longer attractive? And the woman's just like, I just really want to date someone who's at least at my level, ideally a little better. And because that's what I feel safe with.

And there's just so few men who fit into that category. Yeah, that's interesting. Do you believe in the whole animal thing? Like, you know, those, listen, we're animals first, but we're also human beings in that where, like, you know, we have brains and we're a little bit more sophisticated, right? But that animal shit is going down at a level sometimes that we don't know. Like, I used to always say, you know, I'm sorry, like, because a lot of people give women shit for like liking wealthy guys or powerful guys.

And I'm like, I will raise my hand any day and be like, there's nothing fucking wrong with that. Okay. It's no different than the man who likes young, hot women. Exactly. her because she can have his fucking babies and his sperm knows that. And a woman likes a guy with a lot of fucking money in power because she knows he's going to take care of her babies. If I was a cow, okay, as a female cow, I would not be looking at the busted cow that's not

doing any work in the field and go after him. I'm going to naturally, as an animal, go after the most virile, healthy, hardworking cow because the animal in you knows that. That's what we're here for it. It's just, it's basic shit. And like I'm saying, it's not like we're ruled by that. But on some level, that is going on. And I don't know why women get so much shit for liking guys money yet guys don't get shit for liking girls who are hot. I mean, it's the same kind of shallow thing. And if anything, it's more shallow for the man liking the woman because at least a man that's wealthy and successful, he's worked his ass off to be there. Exactly. It's like he wasn't born that way. A hot girl, sometimes she comes out. A, a few.

fucking 10, you know, what did she do? And I don't think there's anything wrong with the guy liking the hot girl either. You know what I'm saying? There's nothing wrong with that. But there's nothing wrong with the woman liking the man with a little bit more than her, okay? And I think that it's a spectrum. Yeah. So, like, I have a girlfriend who, like, her definition of successful is 50 million. And I'm like, where are you going to find that? Like, that percent. And she's buying. That's two percent. That's the top two percent. Like, like, literally, we're 30, do you know how many like how small the pool of 30 year old like 30 something year old man because she doesn't just want him without much money she also wants him hot and I'm like is so rare yeah so

and I think that's the that's like akin to a guy who's 55 who won't date above 25 and I'm like oh my god like give me a break but that's not what we're talking about 25 year old be interested in you yeah so it's a spectrum like I think that you know a man has the right to date a woman that he's physically attracted to. He's allowed to optimize for that. And I think a woman is also allowed to optimize for like, hey, I want you at least at my level, ideally making a little more. Yeah.

Then I feel like I'm with a man. Totally fair. Yeah. What are red pill guys? Like in your email to me, you're like, oh, we could talk about only fans, red pill guys, sugar babies. I want to talk about all that stuff. I don't know what your ankle on those things is.

I'm curious. But what are red pill guys? I'm so old. I'm out of the game. Like what the fuck is a red pill guy? Yes. You know, the Red Pill movement started out, I think, very powerfully and it was a very useful movement once upon a time. It started out as a male empowerment movement. So there was a there was a realization in society that men are becoming weaker for lack of a better word. Yeah. Let's say it from a more positive way. Men were starting to be too feminized and they were no longer holding that masculine polarity that. women traditionally love. And, you know, a small group of men started to pick up on that and they started

saying, hey, men, we need to like change this. We need a man up. Yeah. We need to go back to providing for our women. We need to go back to hitting the gym, you know, showing our physical strength. We need to be more assertive. Like, we need to be, be sure that we are differentiating ourselves from women so that they can continue to be attracted to us and so that we can continue to have that polarity. But again, everything is a spectrum. So what started out as like, guys, get your shit together and man up has turned into this dark movement that, you know, has an underpinning of like women are trash. Women are. Oh, really?

Reserve commitment. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the red pill movement. And this is coming from guys. This is from the guys. Oh, okay. This is coming from the guys. Yeah.

So like if you're on like a traditional red pill podcast and I have been on one, I was on a really. big one several months back. The idea is that like if you're above, first of all, if you're above 25, too bad. Because you're, you've already expired. You've aged out. You've aged out. Yeah, you've aged out of life by 25. So we already take your opinion less seriously if you're above 25 because you're a hag. Okay. And then the second thing is like, why would a man marry you? Like basically this idea that like marriage is only beneficial for women, which by the way, the data says the exact opposite. Oh, no, no, it's the exact opposite.

I'm sorry, but I never got married and I have a kid on my own and I love my fucking life and that's always the way I wanted since I was like five. I never had the desire to really get married. I just always wanted a kid and I always like, and I asked my guy friends, like my guy friends who had to get married and have kids. Like, don't you wish you had my life? And they do. They do most, a lot of them do.

But they couldn't do. They could never have had a baby and had those things that they wanted without that woman taking care of their fucking lives at home. So I think 100% men need the women more. I can have a baby on my own. I have a career. I do everything myself. I didn't need a guy to do that.

But I'm sorry, but I think the guy needs the girl more for all that stuff. No, that's exactly what the data says. Yeah, it's true. So men live longer when they're married. They have much lower rates of heart disease. They make more money. They report much higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

Everything I just listed out for you, except for the heart disease is the inverse for married women. And the category that has it worst are Asian women. Oh, really? Interesting. Yeah. I saw a really funny thing on Instagram and I sent it to some of my poor married friends, but it was kind of funny.

And I'm not against marriage. Like, seriously, like I have a sister who's like white picket fence wanted to be. And I love her life. Like that's which I just think whatever you want, you should have it. You know what I'm saying? Right. I just knew what I wanted. But it was a whole thing.

This is this woman saying like really studies have shown that the happiest, people are married men and single women. And single women. Yeah, did you see that? Yeah. Clip on. Yeah, I know that. Yeah.

It was like, it's kind of true. Sometimes I feel so bad for my married women who are older, have kids. You know, it's just like they're always just being of service to everybody but themselves. You know, when they really lose themselves. I was talking to a woman the other day who had found out her husband had this serious fetish. And he was really like not sort of owning up. And I was like trying to tell her to do something that would make him quote unquote mad. and she's like, I can't make him mad.

I'm like, are you, what the fuck is your problem? Like, you know, it's like you had, she just had no voice, you know, and so many women find themselves in that role, you know, when they're married, you know, they just, they have that certain role and it's kind of beneath the man and they don't have a voice and they can't speak up and God forbid they make their, I'm like, you can't make him mad? Like, what's going to happen? Like a big fucking deal. But it was like, no way, not even a part of her thing.

And in my day, you had to be that kind of woman if you were going to get married. Right. Like, no man wanted a girl. like me. Like I'm like, you know, so it's just the way that it is. And I think a lot of women, unfortunately, give up a lot to be in long-term marriages sometimes. You know, I think it's changing. I think girls like you and younger girls, it's a very different world, you know, and I think you're dating and marrying guys that aren't expecting you to do that. But, you know, but years ago in my generation, it just, it was a totally different story. And thank God it's changing, you know,

because I'm sure you just got married. You just got married. I saw on your Instagram. I did. Yeah. And I've set up a lot. lot of guardrails in my marriage with the help of my husband so that I don't turn into someone who's completely lost her sense of self. So we've had to have a lot of, a lot of conversations around like what support is required at home. How does work get split? What do I need to feel like myself? Like it's, yeah. And how is it going to look when you have babies? Because that's going to totally change the game. And but what's amazing is that people your age talk about these things.

You know, in my day, it wasn't even something you could even bring up, you know. And so for me, the only option I had was not to get fucking married because I wanted to have those conversations. Yeah, it was either shut the fuck up and do whatever and but or and see it, right? And have it the way I did it or, you know, go and lose your voice and lose yourself and have it the way that most women do. And not just, listen, I'm never saying it's 100% one way, right? You have these.

Right. Of course. Of course. But it's typically. I just think it's so great, though, that you can have those conversations with your guy and you chose to be in a relationship, but you're doing it in a very different way, you know, and that's the younger generation. It's so great that things are changing for sure.

How did you meet, I mean, imagine like, how did you meet your guy? And, like, when do you tell him you're like a dating coach? Like, I feel like, it might be a little intimidating because he's like, oh, no, she's going to be fucking analyzing me like crazy. Do you know what I mean? Like, how'd you need him? You know, it's funny. I feel that my now husband never felt or thought that and that's probably why it worked.

Oh, interesting. Because every person, I mean, I only dated one person before him while being a dating coach. Okay. But I remember like trying to delay answering the question for as long as possible on first date with my last partner because I really didn't want to get into it. I find, yeah, like I said, I find that guys who flinched by it are just not, they're just not going to work because I'm very strong. Yeah, because I'm, and you know this because you're a strong woman and I can tell you're dominant.

Like, you need someone at your level. So if I sense even the smallest like, oh, now he's insecure. Like, it's just not going to work. So. Yeah. So, yeah, it never crossed his mind. honestly, he used to be a business coach who helped people like me scale their companies. So if anything, it led to a very interesting business conversation around like the size of my

company and what I'm doing to scale. And like that's what he was interested in. Oh, what a perfect guy for you. That's perfect. Exactly. Yeah, that totally makes sense. What did you want to talk about only fans and sugar babies? Yeah, I wanted to get into that.

Yeah, please. So I was kind of telling you like, and this will segue way nicely after what you said about like, oh, I appreciate how your generation is having these conversations. Yeah. What's interesting is that the dating market, in my opinion, has never been so polarized. So there are so like in your day, it sounds like more or less there was a program and you either got with a program or you opted out. Totally. Now it's not like that. Now it's like there are two opposite extremes choose your side.

Oh, really? So on the, on one side of the spectrum, there's what me and my husband have, which is like this mismatch of like, uh, not miss. What's the word? Yeah. It's like this, it's like this mash up between, uh, modern stuff, like modern beliefs and traditional beliefs. So like modern beliefs are like, look, I'm not going to be a full time homemaker. I'm not interested in that. Um, I want to have a career. But traditionally, but like some traditional stuff mix in there as well where it's like, hey, when I'm pregnant, I'd like the option to take off of work and focus on kids. Yeah, I love that. And like we've, we've been able to have those conversations and reach this place that is a mix of both. But what I find most often is that people are pretty split into two. So on the one hand, you have trad wives? Have you heard of trad wives?

I have, but can you explain? So trad wives are traditional wives. They are usually like the ones that I'm talking about, which are the ones that gained a lot of internet popularity. They're usually in their 20s, so they're very young. They basically have surrendered their desire to have a career. So ironically, they are content creators. So it's kind of hard to say that they don't have a career because they kind of do. They have a career out of saying that they don't have a career. Yeah, totally. But they are just like your typical traditional wife. So like they're they wear very traditional dresses. They get they put makeup on

every day. They wear heels. They cook everything from scratch. They do not look at the finances. They've kind of surrendered all of that to the man. He's the head of the house. So he decides where the money goes. He decides what they're eating for dinner that night. And she's just there to serve. Right. The husband and the children in return for him providing and protecting. So there's, that's a movement now that has gained a lot of popularity. And, I'm not for it at all. I think it's very dangerous. I think that there are aspects of it that are beautiful that we can take away.

Like, I think it's really beautiful to serve your man sometimes. There are days where I'm just like, I'm too tired, like just order something. And then there are days where I'm like, you know what? I kind of feel like could be you something. And but having options to me is very important. So they've basically removed the option to have options. That's that that's just the standard. The standard is I maintain the house.

I cook for you. I take care of you. You make all the decisions. And so that's one hand. And on the other hand of the spectrum, you have like the hardcore, like, I don't want to call them feminists, like on the hard core feminists that have taken feminism into a direction. I don't know that it was ever intended to go. Or are these only fan sugar babies?

Exactly. Exactly. Like I make my own money. I dance on the internet naked. Like I'm unempowered. I'm a sexually liberated woman. And it's like they're both two sides, in my opinion, of the same coin. Yeah, I could see where you're coming from about that.

Because they both need men. Like they both curated a life that still heavily depends on men. Yes. And they both put themselves, in my opinion, in a disempowered position. So like, I have friends. Well, I have a friend to be specific who used to do only fans at one point. And I saw the psychological damage that it did to her. I saw her suffer a lot when she, first of all, I saw her get screwed over by people because

people in that industry are very shady. I saw her get managed by a man who ran away with all the money. I saw her partner with this other girl and also, you know, go through the exact same thing. I saw her enter a beautiful new relationship with a man who found out months later and then they almost broke up. So like I saw the repercussions of her decisions. And I think a lot of women, if given the choice, would not do only fans.

They don't say that in interviews. But I mean, I think if you were to hand them a million dollars and say you can stop now, they'd be like, fuck yeah. I'm never doing that again. Right. Right. But it takes a certain kind of person that can do it. Same with Sugar Beaves.

Like, you know, no woman should be sort of compromising herself or doing something with a man if she, you know, is not that attractive to them. You know what I'm saying? Like just for the cash. I agree. And it takes, again, a very special woman. woman who can do that and not make it her entire being. Like I actually did have a friend as well who is extremely affluent, extremely successful now in a completely different career,

who was able to do it for a very short stint in her 20s. Yeah. And make it work. And somehow kept herself emotionally detached, at least on the outside. Yeah. I've talked to those women too, and I believe that they exist. But I, you know, unfortunately, it's like the 90, 10 ruler, the 80, 20. I don't know what you want it. Like the majority of people probably won't be able to deal. Same with non-monogamy. I talked to tons of people that are non-monogamous. And plenty of them do it successfully.

And I love showing that to people because I think most people think it can never fucking work. But it can. But I don't know that the majority of people would ever even want that in their life. I get that, you know, but there is a percentage of people that do. And they do it well. You know, and I think whether it's stripping or sugar baby or being a cortisone, I've had like a couple of them on from the ranch that call in.

Some women know how to, you know how to, you. take it by the balls and make it work for them and they're just a certain kind of person. And then some women, it's not, you know, and I just think, you know, at that point, it's like, know thyself. You know, if you're starting to feel not fucking right about get out. So listen, why don't you give a shout out for like all the guys that maybe want to take your course? You also work with women, right? Like if women, I mean, do you still work with women or just strictly men? Yeah, the way that I work with women is I pair you with my male clients for practice dates and you get paid to do it. That's interesting.

Yes. And I only work with single woman because usually, like, there's the possibility that you might actually be attracted to that man. And then there might even be a match in there for you. So the way that it works is like, have you had hookups? Are you like a matchmaker slash coach? Yeah. I actually have had several matches be made of it.

Love that. And so, yeah, the way it works is you come in, you feel out of form, you tell us exactly what you're looking for. And we'll do our absolute best to pair you with a client. who matches what you're looking for. If we don't have someone in store who does, then in the very least, you're so helping and emotionally aware, you know, young, you know, young middle age, whatever, old bachelor,

sharpen his dating skills and you're getting paid for your time. So that's worst case scenario. And then best case scenario, you're getting paid basically to match with someone that you'd want to meet in the real world. Women love it. It helps them be a lot more intentional about how they date and they love meeting men who are doing the work. And the practice for them.

It's practice for that. Exactly. I think that's awesome. Okay. And then for the men? I recommend following me on Instagram. I'm very active there at Elsa Morick. Okay.

M-O-R-E-C-K. I post pretty much every single day. So I would say just start with my Instagram. Okay. And I also have a book called Dating for Men that you can check out. And then go from there. But how do they hire you? Well, if they want to hire me, they need to go and do an interview with

one of my dating advisors. Okay. So if you go to my Instagram and you, yeah, so step one is go to my Instagram. Step two, click the link in bio. You can also just go to choose don't chase.com. Okay. So choose don't chase. My program is called chasers to choosers.

That's turning nice guys who chase them in. Yeah. Into confident men who choose their pick. So choose don't chase.com. You can fill out a quick form and then be set up on a call with my dating advisor. And then together, y'all can decide. And now real quick, last question. Like, do people have to be in a certain area to do this?

Is this a virtual thing? No. It's all virtual, right? Of course. Okay. Yeah, it's all virtual. The, when, you know, when people graduate my first level program and continue on to our advanced program, which a lot of people do.

Yeah. At that point, we actually do meet in person for events. So I host two events a year for my graduate students. We just did one in L.A. It was super fun. Okay. So we literally just wrap that this weekend. But yeah, at first, it's all virtual.

So anywhere you are in the world. Okay, love that. So I'm going to put the link to your Instagram on, right? Should I put that link and then or to the show your website? Whatever you want me to put the links to. Let's do Instagram. That way people can check out my content first. Yeah, you have it.

People can see how hot you are, right? And then they're going to give you a lot of tips. You have a lot of tips on there and a lot of good videos. You're not just like trying to get people to sign up for something. Like you're giving like real advice on there, right? they'll find that and then if they want to go and hire you and get some practice, they could click on the link that is in your Instagram. Yeah, I love it.

Okay, listen, I'm going to steal some picks of you to put on my Patreon so my Patreon members can see how hot you are. Everybody else is going to have to go to your Instagram to see it. Listen, Elsa, thanks for calling in. I loved your information. You sound super smart. I love what you're doing. And I hope some of my listeners come and sign up for your program.

Likewise, I really enjoyed the conversation. Awesome. Thanks, Elsa. Thanks so much. I'll email you when your episode's going to go up, okay? Sounds good. Okay, cool. Bye.

All right. Bye-bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically $17. different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about

on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not So over the top like erotica, I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around.

You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a compliment. link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do

there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who, buys my book access to my discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback, send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Good news. Strictly Anonymous Podcast is looking for people to call into the show. So if you lead an interesting,

naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out and proud, that's cool too. Send me an email, Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on be on the show. If you have a short confession that you want to get off your back, call my confessions hotline. [phone]. That's 347-4-4-2-3-579. You could call that number 24-7. I change all the voices on the confessions too, so you remain anonymous.

The number, the website, and the email address will all be in the description. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on either Instagram or Twitter. that's at Strict Anonymous. And if you want to sign up for my Patreon, you're not only supporting my show, but you're going to get all of these episodes early and ad free. You're going to get anonymous picks of all of my guests. Most of the girls send me in anonymous hot picks of themselves. And some of the guys are sending me in anonymous picks as well.

You also get access to my private Discord where people are getting super naughty. If you sign up for my Discord, you could post whatever you want and talk to my other listeners. To sign up for my Patreon, just go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The links and everything else I spoke about are all in the description. Thanks so much for listening.