Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 988 - Kallie is Transitioning and her Ex Wife is Now Transiting Too

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

Kallie is transitioning and her ex-wife is now transitioning too and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how her wife came out as a trans man shortly after sh...e came out as a trans woman, how they both went on to hormones and how they changed the both of them, how Kallie is a trans lesbian and why that doesn’t work now that her ex is transitioning, how and when her ex decided he wanted to be polyn and how that worked out for them, the poly rules they decided on and how her trans partner then broke one, how he felt about it and what kind of changes were made afterwards, the last thing that happened that led to them splitting up, how and why she continues to blames herself by why she shouldn’t, how her partner is dealing with the break up compared to her and why they’re not on the same page, what really bothers her about her physical body the most that she still needs to change while she’s transitioning plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://beducate.me/anonymous40 Get BEDucated! For 40% off PLUS a FREE 24-hour trial, click the link and use code: anonymous https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:04:19 You'll get the right price anyway. today I have a great fetish Friday episode. I have on Callie. Now, when Callie called in last time, Callie called in with her partner. They called in as Kenzie and Kelsey last time. Back then, Cali was Kenzie. Okay. But anyway, what she called in last time, she had just came out as a trans woman to her wife. Okay. Her wife was on the call too. We talked all about that transition. It was super interesting. I'll put the number of that first episode with both of them on in the description, because after you hear this update, okay, you're going to probably want to go back and listen to the first one I did because I wanted to see if there were any tells of what was
Starting point is 00:05:02 going to be in that first episode because I don't remember thinking anything about it, but wait until you hear this update. So as you called in today, she talked all about how not only is she transitioning. Her wife is transitioning to into a trans man. Crazy thing, literally. Like months after we spoke, that's what went down. Her wife, who was on the call talking about her transition, decided to transition herself. And now she is currently a trans man. And they, after he came out as a trans man, they decided to try to be Polly and they opened up their relationship. Things got really fucking messy. Okay, you got to hear the whole story. They're currently separated. That's a very new thing. This is all fresh wounds here. It's a super interesting story.
Starting point is 00:05:55 She's been on hormones for over a year and she talks about how the hormones have changed her and the difference between how she felt when she was a man and how she feels as a woman. The whole thing is super interesting. I do have pictures of her transformation over on my Patreon. The really great to see p.h.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Anyway, this whole story and update was a surprise to me. There's so much more to it. I don't want to give everything away in the description. But anyway, I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Callie. Hi, Kaylee. Welcome back to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm well. Are you? Yeah, I mean, it's been a very tumultuous years since I spoke to you last, the last time I spoke to you. Basically, I'd come out as a transgender
Starting point is 00:06:44 woman and I reached out to the show and I did an interview about, I think, eight days into kind of me just blowing up all my socials from me, eight days from me saying the words like, I'm a woman and my partner, I think about eight years, who at the time was going by her, but it's now going by he, was also with me. Yeah. Okay. So, but at the time when we spoke, it was your wife, correct? That is correct, yes. Okay, so somewhere along the line, you found out that she was also felt that she was trans and she was a trans man, right?
Starting point is 00:07:22 That's correct, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I know. So he started hormones to testosterone probably about six months ago, I want to say. How crazy that the two of you wound up together, kind of perfect. In a weird way, because you both had. a very similar thing going down secretly deep inside of at the same time, right? It's kind of crazy that you wound up together, don't you think? It, I mean, it is. It's actually a documented
Starting point is 00:07:52 phenomenon. Oh, really? Yeah. There's actually been a lot of scholarly articles and studies on it and things of that nature, how like trans people like one trans person will come out in the friend group and then all of a sudden other people start coming out as trans in the friend group or. And what do they attribute that to? I don't know. It's not a, it's more of correlation studies opposed to causation studies. So it's, I, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not the one who reads all the scarly articles.
Starting point is 00:08:22 That was, well, I want to know. Yeah. I want to know why that happens, because it is very interesting. I want to know fucking why, you know, is it that you, you, you smell this shit. Listen, I think we all wind up with the people for a reason. You know, it's typically, like where you're at is similar to, your other partners for better or for worse, you know? Yeah, trauma.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I mean, trauma bonding is definitely a thing too, you know what I mean? So I wholeheartedly agree. I think that it just kind of happens that way. People who kind of maybe need each other in those moments find each other or people with similar backgrounds or, you know, other trans people, things of that nature. It's really interesting. It is because it's about your story, right? We all have a story.
Starting point is 00:09:03 and we tend to pick people who will perpetuate that story for better for worse. You know, it's interesting that maybe you coming out helped her. Well, it's him now, helped him realize he was trans as well. Oh, I definitely. I think that we definitely found each other for a reason. We were together for, gosh, 10 years. I mean, co-parenting a child together who, you know, the child's biologically mine, so she's obviously, she's with me now, full time.
Starting point is 00:09:38 My daughter's biological mom has not been in the picture for many, many, many years. But yeah, no, I think we found each other because we needed each other. And, you know, I wish him, it was an amical breakup. Yeah, I was wondering. You know, yeah, no, I mean, I still talk to him sometimes. Like, I wish him well. He was the one who kind of left me. he is more interested in a polyamory relationship and I'm more of kind of like a serial monogamous.
Starting point is 00:10:07 He's a lot more like evolved and open-minded when it comes to things of that nature than I am. So we just kind of had a disagreement of where we wanted our relationship to go. And so he moved out and I mean we still talk every couple few days. You know, so it's definitely an amicable thing. Wow. but how long after you came out did she did he come out?
Starting point is 00:10:35 I know, right pronouns are so funny. Yeah, I want to make sure. I mean, it's respectful to the other person to call them proper pronouns. I don't mind that.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I don't know why people are so fucking offended by it. You know what I mean? I am not the PC police, like especially when speaking of myself in the past tense. I'll even use the pronouns like he, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:10:53 Yeah, but if somebody cares, you should respect that. What does it fucking matter? Like, I don't know why people, I think it's bullshit. People get so angry about it.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Like how much of a time it's like a word. It's using one word instead of another. And I get it. Like maybe you think it's dumb or you don't care or it doesn't matter to you. That doesn't matter. If it matters to the other person, just fucking do it. I don't know why people are so up in arms about it. It's just a fucking bullshit.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I want to make sure I do it correct because maybe he cares and I don't want to disrespect him. Oh yeah. He definitely cares. Yeah. And that's his choice. You know what I mean? That's his choice. I can't tell him he's fucking wrong for people.
Starting point is 00:11:27 feeling that way. So when he, and I get that you don't care. You know what I mean? That's cool. Everyone could be whatever they fucking want. So when he, how long after did he come to you? Well, I think it was kind of like a progression, right? So like, I remember being so mad at him when I first came out because like I first came out and it was probably about like three weeks or so, maybe like a couple weeks after we did the show. And like I'm still trying to figure out like my my gender, my sexuality, like where I fit in the grand scheme of things and all of that. And he looks at me and he was like, I think I'm non-binary. Like I think I'm also trans. I'm non-binary. Wow. And so like I lost it on him. I was like, are you kidding me? Like,
Starting point is 00:12:12 you couldn't have at least given me a month or two to like figure my own shit out. Like, you know what I mean? So I was I was pretty upset about it. But I mean, I took it in strike. And for him, it was interesting because for me, it was kind of the result of like a mushroom trip. I just said the words, like, I'm a woman and I had been like holding all this baggage for many, many years. I think for him, and I think he would tell you this too, is it was kind of like a natural progression. Like, he never, you know, he comes from a very, you know, his, his father is a Harvard graduate and he grew up at a multi-million dollar home. And like, they're really, you know what I mean? They're really upper scale type people.
Starting point is 00:12:54 So I think for him, it was just never an option. It was never something that he could fathom like, oh, like, oh, this is an option. And so when I came out, I think that maybe he started to fathom, like, wait a second, like, you know, this is something that people do. Like, this is something that is possible for me. And I think he started to do some self-exploration as a result of that. This season, why not give the gift of pleasure? Stuff is temporary, but sexual happiness is forever. So why not treat yourself or a loved one to the gift of sexual happiness with a subscription
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Starting point is 00:14:47 Like, this is something that is possible for me. And I think he started to do some self-exploration as a result of that. I also wonder maybe, too, if he almost felt like an obligation because now he's with, you know, I guess you want to call it a self-proclaimed, whatever, self-proclaimed woman, like he was with me. And so I also kind of wonder, too, how much of that factored into it, because at the time he was living as a woman and, like, could he handle being a lesbian? You know, could he handle being with a woman? And did he want that more cis-hete normative type relationship? And so I would probably say about, I don't know, maybe a month or so after I came out,
Starting point is 00:15:26 he used to, you know, used a label non-binary. And then the hair got cut short. And then the clothes started to change. And then I would say probably about six months after I started transitioning because I got on hormones, like extremely quickly. I would say that, you know, he expressed an interest and it was like, you know, So about that, like, I think I'm a dude. And I'm like, okay, well, how can I help?
Starting point is 00:15:50 What can we do? So we ended up getting him on some hormones, and he's been on hormones. And, like, you know, he's got the little, like, really, really, like, his voice is, like, so much deeper than mine. Testosterone. For trans men, I think it's a lot easier as far as transitioning from hormone perspective, because you take the hormones and you grow facial hair and your voice deepened significantly. And, you know, as a trans woman, you're kind of stuck with the hair on your face until you go and get all the electrolys.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Like, I would have to say, like, you know, a lot of people have dysphoria for different reasons. Like, what, you know, it's like everybody kind of has their, like, things. Yeah. If you're a trans person, like, my things are like my voice, so I'm going to have to do a lot of voice training and also my facial hair. Like, those are really my only two things. Like, when I first came out, I was like, I need $35,000 worth plastic surgery. my face and I need this and I need that and I need fake tits and now I'm sitting here and like I'm a little larger than an A cup and I'm only into hormones about a year now and so, you know, I definitely
Starting point is 00:17:00 think the hormones are doing their job and I have no desire at this point to do facial feminization surgery like the hormones, believe it or not, significantly change my face like they really like round out your cheeks and take away that. distinct jaw line. So, you know, I think the last two things on my checklist, so to speak, are just kind of the electrolysis, which is extremely painful. What's the other thing, the hair on your face? And what was the other thing that you're stuck on? Yeah, it's just, it's just my voice, you know. Oh, your voice. Like it's, it's, yeah, it says I like, I like, I, I, like, I've, I've, I've, I've shown a couple of friends, like a couple of really close friends that I
Starting point is 00:17:39 don't mind, like, kind of bearing my dark secrets to, like, hey, yeah, it's, you know, whatever, it's Kensene Kelsey. Like I know, yeah, I know I'm Kali, but like, yeah, it's Kenzie and Kelsey, like, this is our thing. And, like, I've kind of shown it to him. And, like, I cringe every time I listen to it. I'm like, oh, my God, like, with the voice. Oh, you mean that you're talking about your, my episode when you share your episode with people?
Starting point is 00:18:01 Yes, exactly. Did I have your girl when she was a female? Like, did I have her on then, too? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We were both on. That's why I was like, oh, I don't have my emotional blanket. at this time because I'm calling you by myself.
Starting point is 00:18:16 You were saying that before. I just wanted people to know. Oh, she was on to, God, if I could fucking listen back and listen to everything she was saying about you because I'm sorry, I just do not believe that like you suddenly planted a seed inside of her that wasn't there. There is no way that, you know, one month later she came up with this whole transformation of wanting to be a man and feeling like she was a man and wanting to. transition out of the blue. It had to be in there the whole time, obviously. I agree. And you just
Starting point is 00:18:50 gave her the courage to go there. Because when she went there, she went fucking quick. Like it was this was, this was in her. This was going down the whole time. Did you ever like in that time that you didn't know and you were coming out? Did you notice like looking back? I wish I could listen back, you know, like to see if there was like hints that she was like sort of struggling herself or thinking about herself or having these kind of light bulbs go off? Yeah. So there's one, there's a couple of different indications, right?
Starting point is 00:19:18 Like, I think that, I think that for everybody, oh, not everybody, I think for me personally, and I know about a lot of other trans people where there'll be this, like, triggering life event.
Starting point is 00:19:29 But I think that the feelings are kind of always there. Like, for me, my only sibling overdosed and died, and a few months later, I came out as trans because life is too short. You know, And I think for him to have a partner that was, you know, quote unquote, because I don't view myself like this, but he will say it. Like, you know, for him having a partner was brave enough to be their most authentic true self.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I think that maybe that kind of, I mean, not really. I mean, I think that I've just kind of always been me. I think I've kind of always known. And, you know, I do sit and wonder sometimes whether I would have the courage to do that if it wasn't for my sister. are passing away. No, you just said that that's what happened. It was kind of like life is short. That was the triggering moment for you.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Like you said, that's what happens. There's a moment. And for her, the moment was you coming out. Right. I do believe that. Yeah, because you, listen, it's no different than like you completely changed the game.
Starting point is 00:20:28 It wasn't just you coming out. You also kind of, and this is a harsh word, I'm just going to say it to add, to explain what I'm saying. Like, you destroyed your marriage. Like, what was was no longer going to be, right? It was done.
Starting point is 00:20:42 So now we need to Re- Destroyed all the dynamic. Yeah, the whole thing was blown up. It's no different than you were like walking away divorcing her because now you're a woman, she's got to be a lesbian. Like, you know, it's like, why not at that point? You know, do what she always wanted to do with transition. This is the perfect time.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Things have totally changed. Why doesn't she change too? You know, it kind of makes sense. No, it definitely does. And like I said, I mean, it was an amicable split. It was over a couple of things like I was really, really struggling because like I am a like I am a lesbian like you know I don't necessarily care I don't necessarily care like I don't care if you have a penis I don't care if you have a vagina like I don't care what you have below the belt
Starting point is 00:21:23 you know what I mean for me it's more about like I am not attracted to masculinity I am not attracted to like that whole toxic whatever you know what I mean I'm just that's not me you know so it's not necessarily even about the appendage for me that you have below the belt I think the facial hair was really hard for me. So I think I was struggling a lot too with his transition. And it was kind of like one of those things where, well, he sat in his discomfort because he loves me. And so I kind of felt obligated to sit in that as I'm watching him like having to teach him how to shave his face. And, you know, like telling him like, you know, babe, you have a really deep voice when you wake up in the morning you're yelling at me. Like, you know, you have a deep voice.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Now, like you've got to learn how to control that a little bit. Oh, my God. So I definitely was willing to stay with him forever and kind of sit in that discomfort because we have like a really deep bond. And I mean, although my daughter is not biologically his, and, you know, he did help me co-parent this little girl for, you know, almost just shy of 10 years. So that she might as, you know, he might as well have been that child's parent, right? Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Of course. I mean, absolutely. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Because, I mean, her biological mom still hasn't, you know, hasn't gotten it together, hasn't bothered with her. So the other thing about the relationship was just that, you know, in, I guess, this newfound freedom that he had found of like, hey, like, I can be whoever I want to be. He's, he kind of decided that like, you know, the whole polyamorous, the whole concept of distributed dependence and not making everybody like your son and one person like your son. And you're one person like your son. and your moon and, you know, really distributing your emotional dependence on people throughout multiple individuals. And in concept and theory, like, I understand that. And I'm a jealous-ass bitch. So that whole relationship style wasn't going to work for me. Yeah, that's okay. You know, we did try it.
Starting point is 00:23:31 We did try the whole Polly thing. We both, like, started talking to other people on, like, dating apps and things of that nature. And we had sat down because, I mean, I guess you talked to a. a lot of poly people and they'll tell you like the key to poly is like communication communication communication like communicate everything to death talk about everything you know figure out what the contingencies are going to be before things arise and so we kind of sat down and I think it was like a list of maybe we tried to keep it simple like maybe 10 or 12 kind of things like okay these are like the no-no rules you know what I mean and like one of the rules was like no sending pornographic videos of
Starting point is 00:24:09 yourself to and to anyone other than what you'd call your primary or your nesting partner, like, you know, however you want to say, whoever your primary, like, a life partner is. You know, so that was, like, one of the rules. And, like, another one was, like, always be honest about, like, you know, when you start talking to someone new and just that transparency. And it was unfortunate, but I kind of had to pull the plug after about, like, oh, gosh, I think we were talking to other people for maybe, like, two or three weeks. And he had like woke me up at like 3 a.m. I guess because he had like such a guilty conscience.
Starting point is 00:24:44 That was this like kind of what I describe him as like a wook, a wook kid. Like like one of the music festival kind of hippie, you know, tours all around, whatever. He was with us for like a couple few days or whatever. And so he had woken me up, not the wook, you know, my ex. And I was like, hey, you know, I sent this. Because I'm not sure if you remember from the last one that like Scotty like his thing was like he was into. fisting. Like he didn't really like PIV, penis and vagina sex. Like he was more into the fisting or whatever. Fisting you or for her? No. Oh, hell no. No, I am not a size queen like that. He didn't want a cock in his pussy, but he wanted a fist? I don't know. I mean, yeah, he, he, that's okay. I mean, that's what I'm asking. Yeah. I guess I'm just trying to tread. I'm trying to, I'm trying to, yeah, I'm trying to tread lightly and give him his, his respect and not reveal too much. But, I mean, he did say that on the last show. So, yeah, I mean, I guess I can say that.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Basically, yeah, no, he wasn't into penis and vagina, like, regular sex. We would have PIV, like, sometimes. But, like, he was, like, really into, like, the fissing and more, like, the BDSM. So he had sent, like, a video of, like, I think it might have even been me fisting him to this kid who is staying with us or whatever. And so that kind of, like, really triggered this insane chain of events. And so I removed him from the home. What are the events? People fighting? I mean, everyone should have just been warning and happy.
Starting point is 00:26:11 What's the problem? I jumped up. I mean, you were mad that she gave him the video? That's what you just need to explain. You got mad. I mean, so, yeah, so I got really upset because that was like one of the 10 cardinal rules. Okay, that makes sense. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:26:27 You don't want that your own personal video shared with this dude. I get it. Yeah. No, exactly. And so, you know, that was kind of like, that kind of brought everything to a head. Like, I've learned that living my life as a man, I would get angry a lot more often. I now know that as an estrogen rule of individual and when I go mama bear and I feel like my family is in danger, I get angry very far, few in between.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And I put myself in a lot more dangerous situations where I could lose my freedom. And I do get angry. I mean, I think I've gotten really, I would say I've gotten angry twice in the last year. Want to be as rock hard as you were when you were younger. well then you need to get yourself some blue chew. Blue chew is a unique online service that delivers a chewable tablet at a fraction of the cost. Does Blue Chewere work? Well, you don't have to worry about wondering because Bluetooth believes in their products so much they're going to give you a whole months free. And the best part is the process to get it is super simple. It's all done online. That means there's no visits to the doctor's office. There's no awkward conversations with your doctor. And you don't have to be. You don't have to be. You don't have to be. You're not. to wait in a line at the pharmacy. Wondering if it really works, don't think you need it. Like I said before, you're going to get to try it for free so you can see. Not only are you going to dig it, but your partner is going to dig it too. And I've got a special offer for my
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Starting point is 00:28:36 totally, no, but it is really interesting because it is hormone. Like I find it so interesting that, because listen, you've been a man, right? And now you're female. And you do see a difference. I'm not negating. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying it's so interesting that you see a difference that now that you're female, like your go-to emotion is not anger.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Like what is it that you experience instead of anger? The emotions have been really, really almost kind of validating. for me because I've always have been like this kind of oversensitive individual, even without the estrogen. But, you know, you don't know what to do with these emotions. And it's like, I still have all of these emotions, but now it's like I'm in control of them a lot more. Oh, interesting. Okay. I know how to, I know how to like process the depth of my emotions now instead of just like flying off the handle. Yeah. So I'm unemotionally evolved. I think that that might sense as a woman, because I could still get really angry. I can't control them. But you're saying
Starting point is 00:29:36 like as a woman, you're able to understand these emotions and actually control them more than when you were a man instead of just flying off and getting angry. That makes sense. Yeah, that's interesting. But you, it sounds like you got angry at when the
Starting point is 00:29:51 video was distributed. Yeah, I mean, I woke this kid up at 4 o'clock in the morning by bite him in his face and then kind of like straddled him around his neck and put him for the top of his head. What's that's kind of what happened? No, no, no, you can't say stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:30:08 That's like very violent behavior, okay? Yeah. I mean, that's psychotic. That's what I'm saying. Like, I know. No, no, no, now you're like a crazy, uh, psycho girl. Maybe you need to get off the hormones. That's not good.
Starting point is 00:30:19 That's a fucking psych. No, I mean, you know, I mean, I've done stuff like that, like, because I've done federal prison bids before I've, like, been exposed to. Yeah. Yeah. I've been exposed to a lot of violence in my life. And like, that's why I'm saying for me now, like, I don't, I don't. I've gotten angry once or twice in the last like 12 months that I can really recall.
Starting point is 00:30:38 It's just a lot more. It takes a lot more for me to get there because I know how to process these emotions. That's great for someone like you that goes from zero to knife in the head. I mean, you know, I remember you guys met right after you got out of jail, right? Like that's what happened to you guys like in a demo or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was still in the federal halfway house when I met him.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. People should listen to your first episode. It's super interesting. Okay, so that kind of violent behavior, though, is subsiding now that you're transitioning. Yeah, no, I definitely, it's, like I said, it's far a few in between. And I've also kind of taken a step back and was like, wow, like I could have given this person my freedom. I could have been, you know, so that was also an incident where I had to do a lot of self-reflection and be like, wow, okay, like, you know, I could have lost my freedom.
Starting point is 00:31:27 Like, I could have actually hurt someone. I could have, you know what I mean? But the best I can really put my finger on it is that when I feel like my, like I go mama bear, like when I really feel like, you know, before when I would get mad of living my life as a man, it was off of general principle, you know, it was all about the pride. It was all about the, you know, well, you're not going to punk me. And now I notice when I get angry, it's when I am in fear for the safety of my direct family. Like when I am in fear of something happening to my daughter, when I am in fear of something happening to my daughter,
Starting point is 00:31:59 when I am in fear of, you know, something happening to my significant other. But I just think, you know, also what's going on in that scenario is here you guys are dealing, you are in the most vulnerable time of your life. Two huge things have been thrown on the table for the both of you. And now you're trying to be fucking Polly. I mean, that is like ridiculous to assume you guys can navigate that. It is so hard for a regular couple that is dealing with. nothing else, right, to go in and just like allow people to come in and fuck their partners
Starting point is 00:32:34 and watch it and pass shit around. Like, it was crazy for you to take that on before you guys got really settled in who you were and what you were going to do. You were trying to be open marriage way too quickly. It's those two things shouldn't have been done at the same time. So I get you couldn't fucking handle it. You couldn't handle it. No, I definitely couldn't.
Starting point is 00:32:53 And I mean, hindsight is always. Most people can. Right. That's not I'm saying. Listen, no one's perfect. But I'm saying that's the reason why that you flipped out too. I just think you guys should have never taken that on so quickly because that's a huge undertaking. I've talked to a lot of people that have open marriages and a lot of people that try Polly.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Polly is one of the hardest things to do and most people cannot do it successfully. So you're trying to do this thing in the middle of both of you transitioning. I mean, it was kind of like crazy. Yeah, no, it definitely was. Like hindsight is always 2020. And looking back now, I think I was just really feeling, and of course, I would have never told him this at the time because I wouldn't want, I wouldn't have wanted him to feel like any type of kind of way. But I feel like, you know, I just felt very indebted to him because, like, he didn't leave me. Like, he stuck by my side when I came out as trans.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Like, he fought for me. He, like, fought to get me my hormone appointment, like, real quick and in a hurry. Of course. I get it. Whenever, you know what I mean? And so I just felt like, if this was. something that was that important to him. I felt like, okay, well, I trust you implicitly. And so, like, here are the rules. Like, let's just not break the rules and, like, let's go nice and slow.
Starting point is 00:34:09 You know what I mean? Like, one of the rules was, like, no overnights on non-primary partners or whatever until we're both comfortable with it or whatever. You know, that rule didn't get broken. But, but, you know, I was trying to think of all of the contingencies that would really bug me. And, I mean, looking back on it now, like, I am a straight. serial monogamous. Like I have slept with two people in the last 16 years, literally. And that's how you like, and that's what you like. Like, you're fine with that. Like, that's who you all. Absolutely. Yeah. And listen, welcome to being a woman. You just like we're twisting yourself into a pretzel for your guy. Women do it all the time. That's a woman thing. Welcome to the
Starting point is 00:34:46 club, huh? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you want to like, you, you know, you want to make things okay. Like, you know, you'll try it. You're going to go. You're going to do it. But like a lot of times women do wind of twisting themselves into pretzel, just not listening to themselves. Like, you were doing this for, for him instead of you. You were thinking of him over you. And that's okay. Like, there's always that person in the relationship that does it. But you realized, you know, that's not for you. Like, that really wasn't right. And that wasn't for you. I mean, did your guys stop your Polly relationship about right after that? Yeah. Like, it just, like, the breaks kind of got pumped on it. And I was kind of just like, well, you know, clearly this is not okay for me.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Like if I'm going to be putting, you know, like you've already broken like two of the 10 cardinal rules in under like three weeks. Oh my God. All that testosterone is making him so horny. He can't even control himself. Oh, my God. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:41 It happens. Honestly, yes. Like it was like when he first started the testosterone, Kathy. Oh my. I know. Fucking God. Like literally, he was like a teenage. boy like I don't get me wrong like I love sex like I'll have sex a lot yeah yeah yeah you know you know what I mean like I'm into like all sorts of like whether it be like pegging or PIV or like even just oral or like yeah I'm into it like it's it's some very sexual person and holy shit I could not keep up with him like he wanted to literally he literally wanted to have probably like gosh I don't know I mean when when he was first like on the testosterone I mean he literally like
Starting point is 00:36:23 we would have sex like probably three times a day and he would have to go jerk off like an extra two or three times on top of that like every fucking day it's like you know every teenage boy yeah when they first start jerking off you know they jerk off like you know five times a day whatever you know and then like you kind of learn how to control the hormones and you know what I mean like not I'm not sure if it's age or if it's just consistently dealing with the testosterone in your body or if your testosterone levels like drop I know they drop after like you're or a teenager or whatever. So I think it's a combination of things that cis men learn how to control and learn how to deal with. And I also would think that like, you know, when you think of like a cheater or a dog, the first person that comes up is the stereotypical cis male. I mean, so maybe some of them don't ever learn how to control it. I mean, who knows.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Yeah, who knows. But I think, you know, it was like, you know, to think that you guys were going to navigate that properly is ridiculous. You did it, though. it really like broke you it was that the straw that broke the camels back as far as you guys realizing this isn't going to work because he wants this to go forward and you realize at that point like that's not going to work for you no I mean actually I think that oh let me think what was the straw that broke the camels back but wait let me just well why don't we just go chronologically because here you are you have
Starting point is 00:37:46 this moment he totally breaks the rules you're pissed so much you take it out on the guy but you're obviously pissed at your partner, right, for breaking the rules. I mean, you know, what happens after that? You continue to keep an open marriage? No. So after that, I just kind of was like, okay, like, I cannot deal with this, clearly. Like, I just jeopardized everything I've worked 10 years removed from prison. Like, I've just jeopardized everything. Like, this is ridiculous. This can't happen. So, you know, I'm not saying no forever, but I'm saying, like, for now, this is like I am a monogamous person. I'm open to building more trust with you. And, you know, kind of, I guess 10 rules wasn't like enough or like maybe we need to work on our relationship and our communication skills first because there are, like you said,
Starting point is 00:38:36 there are very few people that can actually do poly. I mean, and if you just listen to like a quick TED talk on like what poly is and the whole concept on distributed dependency, it makes sense. It really does. Like, but in actual practice, I mean, in theory it sounds great, but in actual practice. There are so many emotional hurdles and communication barriers and things that you have to deal with. And I would almost say with the right partner, I might even be open to being in a poly relationship in the future. I've just recently, actually, as recent as this weekend, kind of really got to
Starting point is 00:39:09 experience the poly dynamic a little bit as far as like, I don't know, I was like this weekend camp out this weekend with like a couple who's poly or whatever. And like we were all just kind of like cuddle-pottling and, you know, doing our thing and whatever. And I'm like, oh, okay, like, nobody's getting jealous. Like, okay, like, it was my first experience of, like, really seeing the inner workings of a poly dynamic that is one of the few, yeah, that works. So, like, I can definitely see myself potentially participating in, like, a poly relationship in the future. And I think that there would have to be a lot of personal work that I would have to do on my end before I could handle something like that and I think that there would need to be a lot of trust built,
Starting point is 00:39:52 you know, with like a primary partner again before I could kind of venture out and try the whole Polly thing. So basically I kind of pulled the plug on it and we went back to, you know, just having a monogamous relationship. And so that probably would have been about like, I don't know, maybe five months ago or so that I kind of like pulled the plug on all the whole like the the poly dynamic of our relationship. Okay. You know. And so it was okay for like, it was okay for a while.
Starting point is 00:40:26 And I could tell that he was just kind of getting antsy. And basically everything happened about three weeks ago, I believe it was about three weeks ago or so that we ended up parting ways. Oh, wow. This is recent? Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. This is like recent. This is like a therapy session for you.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Okay. me basically. So thank you listeners for my therapy. Yeah. So it was just kind of a culmination of events that was like the perfect storm, right? So basically they raised my property taxes. I mean, I was already paying like 700 and some change just in property taxes every month. And they raised my property taxes on my house to just shy of $1,500 a month. And that's just, that's not including like the mortgage principal interest, you know, homeowners insurance, and all that stuff. So it really made my mortgage payment just it was it was impossible. So basically we had to sell the house and we were trying to do it quickly because nobody wants to move in the
Starting point is 00:41:28 winter. And so that was a really stressful thing. And he kind of was just like, you know what? Like you bought this house by yourself. Like, you know, I'm not even on the whatever. You know, I'm not on the mortgage. Like, you know, basically he couldn't handle the pressure of having to pack an entire house up in a week. And so, I, you know, the fault is totally with me. So there was like this, there was this girl that I had met. And like, she's like, oh, yeah, like, you know, she's like, oh, yeah, I'll help you pack up your house. This, that and the third.
Starting point is 00:42:03 And I'm like, okay, that sounds great. And so at this point, he, my significant other, he was still there. And there was an incident where, like, I'm doing the dishes. And, you know, this girl's, like, helping me pack up the living around in kitchen. and stuff like that. And she kind of like comes up behind me and like grabs my hips and spins me around and kisses me or whatever. And like, you know, I pushed her away. And of course we have like cameras in the house.
Starting point is 00:42:26 So like I don't know why I like I knew that he was going to look at the cameras. So like I told him something to look at the cameras. I don't know why I couldn't like I was so like ashamed or shy to be like, hey, this person kissed me and I push them away. Right. It sounds ludicrous. But so basically what I told him was I was like, oh yeah, like, you know, if, If you watch the cameras, like, you're going to see something, like, you know, this chick blew a kiss at me.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I don't know why I lied about it in that moment. Like, because I even, because he wouldn't have looked at the cameras if I didn't say anything. Like, I wanted him to look at the cameras. And, like, I was trying to, like, I don't know, figure out a way to tell him that this had happened. And, of course, he watches the video. And, like, you know, he sees me push this girl away and, like, sees that, like, she came up behind me and, like, that I didn't kiss her back and that, like, I pushed her away. and I'm not really sure why I told him like, hey, you might want to look at the cameras, like this chick tried to blow a kiss at me rather than just like coming out with it.
Starting point is 00:43:22 I have no idea what my logic was or like why I was so shy about it because in my mind, like I definitely did all the right things. And I think that maybe I shouldn't have had this girl like in the house helping us pack in the first place. I was just like really overwhelmed, needed the help. You know, my partner was not willing to really help. He was salty that we were selling the house. So that was kind of, I think, the straw that broke the camel's back.
Starting point is 00:43:45 So he's like, my partner, he's like, okay, well, you know, you lied to me. I'm like, yeah, I mean, yes and no. I'm like, you know, I told you to look at the cameras. Like you saw that I pushed her away. Like, you know, I did all the right things with the exception of like not having the courage just come out and say it, which I still am puzzled as to why I didn't. You know, especially if I was going to say something for him to watch the cameras. So he was like, okay, well, I think that we need like, you know, we need a little bit of space or whatever. I'm going to go stay at my parents for a week.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Which also caused some trouble because, you know, he left me to pack up our entire life, including all of his things, his possessions, his clothes, all of, well, I would still consider our daughter, even though he's not biological to my daughter. I mean, he's helped me raise my daughter for, you know, almost 10 years. So it was just like this thing where, you know, I kind of got a little salty about that that he just took off and kind of left me here. luckily I have some really good friends who are actually also trans that came and helped me pack up the house and stuff like that. And so at that point, we like agreed to meet like after a week.
Starting point is 00:44:52 And so we met after that week. And he was just like, I want to see a bunch of growth out of you. Like now I don't trust you. And I'm like, okay, well, what do you need? And he kind of like laid it all out for me. And so basically he wanted like a six month separation of where we were still monogical. with each other, but like we weren't necessarily having sex with each other or other other people, but like we were taking kind of like a six month separation to re-evaluate.
Starting point is 00:45:19 And we had agreed to meet every week on like Monday moving forward to kind of continue to communicate like, this is what's going on. This is how I feel like has anything changed? You know, is the dynamic going to be different? And so we met for that first one weekly thing and it was all good. and then the second one, and then the second one, basically, he told me that he did not want to be with me anymore, that he wanted to do some personal growth type things. And when he was ready to date other individuals, that it was going to absolutely be in a polyamory dynamic.
Starting point is 00:45:55 And so, yeah, so he left. I packed up our whole house. And, you know, we're kind of an attempt, my daughter and I are kind of in a temporary living situation until escrow closes on the house. and we actually made a decent amount of money off it. But neither here nor there. So, yeah, this happened a couple few weeks ago. And that was, that's basically, I guess, the straw that broke the camel's back. Yeah, but I got to tell you, you know, listen, I think that he was just using that scenario to be honest about where he was at in his life.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Because what happened in the kitchen is a big nothing burger, okay, like at all. I mean, what happened in the bedroom with you putting the knife to the guy's head was a lot worse, right? She literally did something with another person she wasn't supposed to. You pushed someone away. Nothing happened and told her about it. And she literally used that as a way to, you know, sort of end things. And I think when she came back just like that second time right after it had this whole epiphany, I think that was what this is all about.
Starting point is 00:47:02 I think that was an, because that was nothing. That was, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. But like, if you didn't do that, it would have happened anyway. That's all I'm saying. Like, don't, you know, it wasn't like anything you did. You didn't push her to that. That's where she was at. And she needed something to get the, like something to use to get the courage to bring
Starting point is 00:47:23 it up instead of just being direct with you. You know what I mean? And she used that whole scenario because what you did was no big deal. Right. Right. I mean, I mean, I think that. My fault in that was a bringing like some girl that, you know, he didn't know in the house, number one.
Starting point is 00:47:38 And I think number two was like, oh, he didn't know about the girl coming over. She was just helping you move. Who was the girl? Was she a girl you were fooling around with? Was she just a friend? No, no, no, no, no. I believe it or not, in the 10 years, I have never cheated on him, never, never, never. Right.
Starting point is 00:47:50 So who was the girl? Basically, I kind of tend to bring home strays and like try and help people get sober. Okay, but does she know that about you? But the point I'm trying to make is that have you brought a, women home before that are your friends? Yeah, oh, absolutely. And so hasn't he. And he's brought in guys home that are like his friends. My whole point is it doesn't matter. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything
Starting point is 00:48:13 different than you've done in your past. So it doesn't matter that you brought a girl home. You didn't do that wrong. You've done that a million times in your relationship. What else do you think you did wrong in that scenario? You were honest and told her to watch the camera. I mean, well, I was and I wasn't. Like I just, I don't, like I said, I don't know what the psychology behind it. I don't know why. Who cares? You didn't. make out with her and fuck her on the camera. What did you do? No, no, I literally pushed her away. Like, you can see it clearly on the camera. So what is the difference between what you said and what she
Starting point is 00:48:42 saw? It's the slightest hair lick of a difference. Like, it doesn't matter when I'm just trying to tell you, like, you did nothing wrong. End of story. She just couldn't get to the place where she could tell you how she was really feeling and she used this whole thing as a way to do it. I'm sorry. She blew it out of the fucking water. It was the catalyst she needed. She needed. She was. She was waiting for any little thing because this was nothing in the scheme of things. I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. Even your lie was minuscule.
Starting point is 00:49:11 It was latini as little. It didn't matter. You didn't lie and what the truth was was so horrible. You lied and the truth was still not nothing bad. And I don't know why I'm harping on it. I just think it's to get it out of your head. Don't frame it like you ended the relationship. Something that you did was the straw that broke the camel back.
Starting point is 00:49:29 No. She had gotten to that place herself, okay? And that's where she was heading regardless. And she was going to take any out. And that was the out. You gave it to her by doing that. That was a gift. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Fair enough. I mean, our relationship has been like up and down for like years. You know what I mean? And so I don't know. And I'll also say that like I was really struggling on a personal level. And I don't know if that was transparent with like the whole deepening of the voice and the facial hair thing. And like I was willing to kind of like really, I don't know, I would never initiate a relationship with a man. And I'm definitely like super demisexual.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Like I have to really be attached to somebody to like sleep with them or whatever. And so like I think because I'm so super demi to my core, I was like, I would have eventually worked past the facial hair and the deep voice and, you know, him wanting to get top surgery to get his breasts removed. I think I really would have like, you know, gotten past all of that. But I was also definitely struggling in the relationship because I'm just not attracted to that whole masculine thing. It's just never really been my thing. No, but you're a lesbian. And that's how you want to live your life. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:47 And listen, it is really hard when something ends, even if it's a terrible thing. And it's not like you guys had a terrible thing, right? Like you said, it was a little up and down and stuff. But you really cared about this woman. You were willing to do anything. You were willing to give up everything you've ever wanted. your life just to stay with her. I get that. But at the end of the day, eventually, I promise you, you are going to meet a woman that you could be with and you could be, you could be and have
Starting point is 00:51:12 everything that you want, okay? And you are going to be happier for it. As will he. Okay. So I don't think that you guys were going to match long term. Yeah, would you have twisted yourself into a pretzel for the rest of your life for this for him? Yes, but should you probably in the long run? No. Did want to, yeah, because that would have been easier than to go through the pain that you have right now, right? This is a very difficult thing you're going through. It's very, you know, on top of transitioning, you're both fucking transitioning. That's a, I think that has to be a very emotional hard time. Who knows what he's going to wind up on the other side at the end of his transitioning when he's all settled?
Starting point is 00:51:53 You know what I mean? Now he thinks he's Polly and he wants to try that. You don't know how he's going to wind up, you know, but you kind of really know what you like. think at the end of the day, maybe it is better right now for you guys to be separate and figure your own shit out. Maybe in three years you wind up back together. Maybe, but maybe if not, you do wind up with a woman. You get to live at all your lesbian fantasies and you're going to be happier for it. For sure. For sure, I'll tell you one thing. Like, I've definitely like dabbled, like a little bit on the dating apps in the last few weeks. Okay. Oh my God. Like, I feel so bad
Starting point is 00:52:30 for like cis women because the amount of unsolicited dick picks I get in my DMs is fucking ridiculous Kathy like literally like I swear to God I like unwillingly look at seven penises every day in the DMs like it's just like yeah and it's crazy to me because like I was never that like when I was living my life as a medium like I was never that that person like I would never like consent and enthusiastic consent is huge with me and it always had them you know And it's like, and it's just like it's insane. I had no idea that poor cis women had to deal with that. Well, are you glad you are a lesbian and you don't have to deal with a guy?
Starting point is 00:53:11 I know for real. Well, and it's funny because like on all my profiles, like in big bold letters, the first thing about the bio is like for the love of God, like no cis men. Like, you know what I mean? Like leave me alone if you're a dude for real. It only makes them want you more. That's guys want what they can't fucking have. Maybe I'll delete the whole like first.
Starting point is 00:53:30 little sentence thing or whatever. Yeah, don't do it because that's going to make them want you even more. They're going to be the guy. They're going to be the one. Every guy wants to be the one, right? So yeah, that's only attracting more dick picks your way. And it's actually really funny to see the amount of quote unquote like chasers like who chase chase trans women. And like they totally put on this like wicked masculine like you know what I mean? Like it's it's like I just laugh about it. Like you know, you look at their dating profiles because they send you like a dick in the DM and you're just like, oh, okay, so it says that you're straight and that you have kids. Oh, look, and you're so masculine. You have this masculine job, but you're like sliding up in my DMs. Like, I just think it's hilarious to like get the view that I get, like, being a trans woman, like, how many cis men will like completely deny it. No, but they're interested in trans women that they are. Oh, for real.
Starting point is 00:54:27 But they probably wouldn't, you know, go out and say it. There's still a stigma, you know, but they are attracted. They're hitting you up. You're getting a ton of dickpicks. They know that you're trans, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:39 It's all over my profile. Yeah. So, you know, there you go. That's like the reality of what's going on. There's still so much stigma surrounding so much of the stuff that people have to, like, be on the DM and, you know, like, what is going on like with your, partner. Is he in relationships? Do you guys talk about like your journeys like in that world? Like do you know what's going on with him in that area? So like we've went through like a couple of different transitional
Starting point is 00:55:06 periods, right? Like at first we were going to do like the best friend thing and like, you know, we're still sharing our locations with each other and you know because, you know, theoretically I guess technically we, you know, we share a child even though she's with me seven days a week. But as far as him and I like talking or whatever. You know, like I said, we've went through a couple of transitional periods, and it's kind of all been on me as far as like, if it was up to him, we'd be sharing our locations talking about who we're fucking, what dating apps were on, like, whatever, you know, like I'm, like, I dabbled a little bit. Like, I haven't even been on a date. Like, you know what I mean? There's not. I don't know. It's, it's hard as like a trans lesbian,
Starting point is 00:55:44 like, finding, like, either cis women or I think I'd probably be open to dating, like another trans woman, because it's more just like, like I said, I don't care about appendage blow the belt that's like more about like the mask energy that i'm not into so like we had tried that we were consistently like sharing locations and so depending on who you talk to like he either cheated on me or he didn't with like this one dude rocky or whatever that was like right after i had come out as trans and like you know this dude like look like me pre-transed like crazy like short stocky you know the red hair with the little wool cap the whole nine and so like i I like dropped him off there one time not knowing.
Starting point is 00:56:27 And so like he hadn't talked to me for like, I don't know, like three or four hours. And so I was starting to get nervous or whatever. He was supposed to call our daughter or whatever. And so like I pull it up and like I know like I know where that location is. And I'm like, oh, okay. So like that's what you're doing. So basically at that point about a week ago or so I was like, hey, listen, like I'm going to be a crazy bitch.
Starting point is 00:56:47 So I need you to stop sharing your location with me and I'm going to stop sharing my location with you. And like, I don't want to hear. Yeah. And I'm like, I. Too much information. Yeah, too much information. I'm like, I don't want to hear about it. Out of sight, out of mind.
Starting point is 00:57:02 And then we went into like another thing where like I was like, you know, like this past week up until like yesterday, I didn't speak to him at all because I was like, listen, this is just too hard for me right now. Like I need some independence from you. I need some space. Like I will have Kate. I'll have our daughter call you. like, you know, whatever. And then, like, last night, like, he kind of, like, slid back up in my messages and was like, hey, la, la, la.
Starting point is 00:57:33 And so, like, I talked to him more than I should have last night. And then, like, this morning, like, basically before I called you, I, like, texted him again. And I was like, listen, like, I kind of stand by, like, what I said. Like, this is, this is too hard for me. Like, I don't, you know what I mean? Like, you left me. Like, so leave me. Like leave me alone. You know what I mean? Type deal. Let me heal. Like, let me move on. Let me do what I'm going to do on the dating apps. Like, I don't care what you're doing. Like, just kind of leave me alone and let me move on. So that's kind of where we're at right now. And given where our daughter is so angry, like I, it's kind of like this really delicate walk. Like, you know, do you make the child call? Do you not make the child call? Do you make the child visit? Do you not? Because she's 12. So, well, you talk to her and you go with with her. You know, I think you can, I think you never want.
Starting point is 00:58:21 wants to see him ever again. Okay, that's how she feels right now. She's really angry. You know what I mean? She might feel differently over time. And I think, you know, it's important to just keep those conversations going. Always check in. You don't want to push her. She's valid in her feelings right now and she's going to go through them, right? Any kind of death is there's things you go through. You go through anger, denial. You know, it is a death in her life. It's a big thing. You know, so you got to let her go through all the stuff. But most likely she'll wind up in a different place eventually over time. but I think continue to bring it up, talk about her, never push it or do anything. And I think you also just need a break.
Starting point is 00:58:57 And I think that is the hardest thing. Most relationships never end where you're like, oh, fuck you, fuck you, or bye, we're not seeing each other and you never talk again. This back and forth, this holding on, this trying to make it work. All of this is a lot of times we do that because we just don't want to go through that pain of like really separating, right? but I promise you if you just allow yourself some time to be completely separated, eventually you guys will be able to be together and be great.
Starting point is 00:59:26 You just need some time. And then when you're fully over them, you could go back and you could be prepared. That's what you need. That's what you need. That's my theory. His theory is like, no, we can just be friends right away. No, his theory is wrong. His theory is wrong.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Yeah, I'm like, my theory is like, I need a few months of space. Like I need to heal. I need to not have these feelings for you anymore. Like you'll always hold a special place. You help me raise this child for 10 years. But I need to heal so that, you know, I don't feel these certain feelings and I can view you in a different life. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:59:58 Listen, you are 100% right. He is just holding on because he doesn't want that separation. He wants his cake and eat it too. He wants to have you, but still not be with you. You know what I mean? And you are like, no, in order for me to ever be with you in the way you want me to I need to fucking get over you. So you need to take care of you.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Stop doing things for him. Think of yourself first, okay? This is about you and how you feel. I promise you, you will have a great relationship with him again, 100%. Six months a year from now, it'll be a blip in the fucking sand 20 years from now, right? When you guys are back together, you will be together. You guys have so much in common. You've been through so much together.
Starting point is 01:00:40 You just need a little time to get let. go of that part, like that feeling of like those romantic feelings that you have for him and all that stuff. Right. There's no way to let go of that by being his fucking friend. It'll take so much longer. Just cut it for a little while and eventually you'll, you'll be besties. I promise.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Like, but he, what he wants is not going to work for you. Right. No, I agree. I totally agree. That's it. And I'll also leave you this. I will absolutely send you some pictures. I actually have a set out of show.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I can't wait. I can't wait to see them. last episode once. All right. So definitely send me the picks. I'm going to put your befores and afters. Can I do that? Can I take the pictures that I got from last time? Oh, for sure. Befores. Right. I'm going to put those. I mean, you were dressed in like, you know, lingerie and stuff, but I feel like there'll still be a difference, right? Oh, yeah. Like my ass jiggles now. My hips are big. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to see. I'm like, oh, yeah. So I'm going to put those over on my Patreon. And then now I have a big discord. I don't know if you're part of it, but I'll give you free access to my
Starting point is 01:01:40 discord to join in over there and go talk. Okay, which is actually really cool. Good luck with everything. I think you guys are going to be fine and you're going to wind. You will find each other. You'll find yourselves like back with each other and eventually your daughter will too. But I just think you need to give it more time. It's so, it's so new. And you need to take that time to yourself. You are right. And you need to, you know, listen to yourself and take care of yourself and be nice enough to yourself to give you that time. You know what I mean? It's about you. Forget about him right now. Okay. Right. No, I totally agree. Thank you, love. I appreciate. Thank you, love. I appreciate. Appreciate you. All right. Thank you. Thank you for calling in again. Send me the picks ASAP, okay? I absolutely will love.
Starting point is 01:02:18 All right. Awesome. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book.
Starting point is 01:02:36 It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17-3-3-4. different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not. So over the top, like erotica, I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories.
Starting point is 01:03:18 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a compliment. link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you
Starting point is 01:04:04 can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buy you. my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Good news. Strictly Anonymous Podcast is looking for people to call into the show. So if you lead an interesting, naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out
Starting point is 01:05:05 and proud, that's cool too. Send me an email, Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on be on the show. a short confession that you want to get off your back. Call my confessions hotline. 347-4-7-4-203579. That's 347-4-2-4-2. You could call that number 24-7. I change all the voices on the confessions too. So you remain anonymous. The number, the website, and the email address will all be in the description. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on either Instagram or Twitter that's at Strict Anonymous. And if you want to sign up for my Patreon, you're not only supporting my show, but you're going to get all of these episodes early and ad free. You're going to get
Starting point is 01:05:57 anonymous picks of all of my guests. Most of the girls send me in anonymous hot picks of themselves. And some of the guys are sending me in anonymous picks as well. You also get access to my private Discord where people are getting super naughty. If you sign up for my Discord, you could post whatever you want and talk to my other listeners. To sign up for my Patreon, just go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The links and everything else I spoke about are all in the description. Thanks so much for listening.

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