Strictly Anonymous Confessions - Bonus Episode! 389 - David Yontef, Host of Behind the Velvet Rope Podcast on Podcasting, Coming Out, Dating and More

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

BONUS EPISODE! David Yontef, host of the super successful Behind the Velvet Rope podcast calls in to talk all about podcasting, reality TV, coming out, dating and more. How did he become the host of a successful podcast? What did he do before? How and why did his show become so successful? Tune in for all the details which include how he went from being a lawyer to a podcaster, his reality tv friendships, his interview style and why it works, what it was like for him when he worked for Martha Stewart, how he came out to his family and how they responded, his fake high school girlfriend and how that ended, the first time he hooked up with a guy who worked at The Gap, what exactly went down, who he's dated since, what he's looking for in a guy, his time on Millionaire Matchmaker and a whole lot more. Check out his podcast: https://apple.co/3uGXfXu Follow him on instagram: https://bit.ly/3fcrsaj and here https://bit.ly/33B4K6D **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. He can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. With real problems. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you

want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. This is a bonus episode I have today. I have a couple of bonus episodes I'm going to be throwing out because, and bonus episodes to me are episodes that aren't typical of what I do on my show, but they're great episodes or sometimes I like to do different things on my show, because I've been doing it for seven years and why not do different things, but I'm definitely going to make sure that my regular episodes are on Sundays and then my bonus episodes that are a little bit different are posted here on Thursdays. So every now and then you're going to get a bonus episode. And that's fucking fun. I like doing things different. Like I said, I've been doing my show for

seven years. Every now and then I want to change it up. Today I changed it up by talking to David Yontef. He hosts Behind the Velvet Rope podcast on iTunes on any podcast app you could hear his podcast. It's fucking great. I was a listener of his podcast and then he decided to come on the show. We talk about everything. This is just like a great convo with a super cool open guy. We talk about how he got into podcasting, what he used to do before he became a podcaster, which is super interesting. I mean, his show is very successful after a very short time. I mean, he's only been on doing his show for like one year and it really took off. He has everybody who's anybody on his show. Like I said, we talk about his show. We talk about what he did before. We talk about how he came out of

the closet. He's gay. We talk a lot about his first experiences. Like I said, how he came out of the closet, how that happened, how he first started hooking up with guys. Because, you know, I tried to get personal with all my guests. So I get definitely personal with him. And then we talk a lot about dating, you know, dating in general, dating as a gay man, dating as a successful podcaster who is friends with a lot of famous people, dating in the industry, right, dating out of the industry. He was actually on Millionaire Matchmaker, which is kind of crazy because I'm like a reality TV junkie. That's the only shit I watch besides Handmaid's Tale. That's the only like scripted show I watch, which is like the best show ever invented. But I only watch reality TV and documentary.

So he was on Millionaire Matchmaker. So I probably saw his episode, right? But I don't remember it. But he was on that show too. And we talked a little bit about that. But anyway, it's like I said, it's a great combo with David Yonted. You have to Yon Taff. If you're one of his listeners, you're going to learn a lot more about him and get the

scoop on him because normally you're listening to him talk to other people about themselves. And if you're not someone who listens to this podcast, you should check it out because he has, like I said, everybody who's anybody. I mentioned this on the show. He's like a really great listener. That's probably the first thing I noticed about his show when I first started listening. I was like, wow, this guy really shuts the fuck up when his guests talk.

Not like me. I interrupt people all the time, but he's a great listener. He runs a great show. It's called Behind the Belved Rope. Like I said, he has everybody on. So if you're a fan of reality TV, go check out his show. There will be links in the description below. So that's it.

I'm going to be right back on with David. Hey David Yontef, right? That is right. Yeah, that's right. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Everyone says my last name wrong, so you shouldn't feel bad. If you say it wrong, thank you for having me. Yeah, I was going to say Yantif.

Is that what people normally say? Yeah, Yantaf, Yantif, whatever. You know, I'm a nice New York Jewish girl, so there you go. Yeah, there you go. So wait, so you have your own podcast right behind the Velvet Rope. I was surprised when I was like doing a little intel. on you, which I normally don't do on my callers, but I did for you because, you know, you have your own show that you've only been doing it for a year and it's really super successful, right?

Listen, it's been, I mean, you know how it is. I've worked really hard. You have to work hard with a podcast. I think there's a huge misconception with people that are like, I want to have a podcast. I don't mean to rain on anyone's dreams, but it's a lot of freaking work. Yeah. So, yeah, it's been a year. It's been really successful. You know, I really contribute. I mean, COVID in part to my success. I mean, when I started, I was two days a week. It's a Bravo theme podcast. You know, it's other reality TV too, but mostly Bravo. But it was really just COVID that I was two days a week and then I started working and interviewing more Bravo liberties and it was three days a week. And then we just kind of went to five days a week. There

was a demand and now it's every day. Right. So I mean, I am and I've only mentioned this a couple times on my show because my show is normally talking about other people, but I am like a reality TV lover. Like that's my thing. And I don't care what people say. Like whenever people are talking in conversation like, oh, what do you like to watch? I'm like, I fucking love reality TV. And I think it gets like a bad rap. But to me, it's so real. I don't care what, like I said, I don't care people say because I actually think when I watch scripted shows now, unless they're really like weird and out there, I think they're so terrible because I could tell they're scripted because they're so not real. I'm so used to reality TV where you can't make that shit up, but that's what I like, you know.

So it's like it's been something that I, that's like my favorite. So I'm like somebody that would listen to your show. Do all your listeners know how much you love reality TV or am I? Not really. No, you're bringing it up. I don't like to talk about me. Just like I think like you don't really talk about you on your show, right? But that's what I'm going to get you to talk about on my show.

I don't. Right? No, I don't. And it's so funny. It's like, you know, listen, we were just talking about. about iTunes reviews and like, you know, listen, 90% of my reviews are great, no ego. And then I always get these like reviews where they're like, you know, blah, blah, blah. And he's dry or he doesn't talk about himself.

First of all, I mean, I'm talking to you. Do I seem like I'm a dry person? And I'm like, it's not my job. Like when I have a Bravo Leopardy on, like I just had Candace on from Real House West of Potomac, Heather Thompson, from Royal Housewives of New York. We do non-Bravo. I had like Melissa Rivers and Perez Hilton. Like when I'm, you know, I listen to your Perez Hill and one too. Sorry, go on. Yeah.

Perez is an official friend of the show. He's been on four times. Yeah, yeah. I really like him. He's great. Yeah. But, you know, like, so when you're on my show, it's right, it's not about me. Right. You know, I'll give you little tidbits about myself. But really, if you're saying something, it's not, it's not about me. And so it is, I sit there and I'm just like awkwardly silent, but it's on purpose. You know, I think the other thing is. I did notice that. I'm sorry to cut you off because I cut people off all the time. And, and you. you'll see that my reviews, but I did, I really remember when I was listening, that was like one of the first things that I was really struck by. Like, you probably don't have one review, like stop interrupting your guests because you are so pro that you never interrupt. I do it all the time. And I think a lot of people who do interview people are interruptors. I mean, that's what I always say, like everyone else that I listen to. Andy Cohen interrupts people. Howard Stern interrupts people. Like, you know, because we're just curious about people so you can't help but sort of jump in and do

that. But you're a great interviewer and that's what you do, but you don't interrupt at all. Like you are very silent. You let the person talk and I think that that's a really good thing to have. And it's like, listen, it's by design for two things. First of all, my show has gotten a lot of press. We're in the, all

these magazines. I've kind of turned into like a Perez-Hilton. Like, I, listen, with practice makes perfect, I've turned into like a tabloid journalist. I have a certain style. Yeah. I will this is what I say. I will ask you out on the date. I will hold the door for you. I will pick you up on time. I will take you out. I will

buy you dinner. I will buy you drinks. I will buy you more drinks. It's all about you and I will treat you well. But at the end of the date, mama wants a little. Right. So I start slow and we can talk about some things. But look, I don't shy away from the hard questions. And if there's stuff, you know, drama we need to get to the bottom of I'll go there. But also, I've learned how to get certain sound bites and head lines. So, anyway, it is calculated because that's what people want. So you really just need to be quiet when people are talking because in the beginning, I wasn't. And then they would be like, you know, I'd have like a People magazine be like, well, what she just said was great that you were talking over her. So what's the quote? Is she saying that she hates this person or are you saying?

Oh, interesting. Right. So I mean, part of it's self-serving, but it really isn't. And the more I started thinking about it and researching, I'm like, it's not really my job to. give my opinion when I'm interviewing you. And don't get me wrong. People come on my show and say all sorts of things that I don't believe. I'm like, that's bullshit. I don't, but that's also, we're on my show. I think it's your hour to tell your truth.

Right, I get it. Okay. Right? For Real Housewives of Potomac. Like, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about whether I'm team Candice or team Monique. Yeah. That's really neither here or there.

I'm not going to comment on it. Candice is on my show today. doesn't mean I don't like Monique. I mean, Candace said yes, and she is here. And I want to hear her truth of how she thinks this Smackdown went. Yeah. And then, you know, I get chastised. Where's Monique?

Well, if Monique would call me back, she could be here tomorrow. Like, I don't play favorites. I play, like, come on my damn show. But don't you know, it's also like, you know, it's kind of like you welcome the guest into your home. Like you wouldn't go against you, right? And that's the way I treat you. Because sometimes I have people on my show and people are like, oh, they were

obviously fucking long. or whatever. And I'm just like, you know what? It's not my place. The same thing. I feel like when I'm talking to somebody, they're like a guest in my house and I treat them according. You know, like you're not going to get in a fight with them or like you like. Totally. And, you know, another thing is you could only ask the same thing so many times. Like so, for instance, I ask every single housewife. Come on. Tell me the truth. Were you fired or were you or did you quit? Let's face it. There's three people, maybe four that actually quit. Yeah. Nobody else. Everyone else was fired.

So I'll ask someone, were you fired? You know, they'll give their answer. Your answer makes no sense, actually. I'll push back on you. And I'll be like, that doesn't seem like you quit. And then eventually you have to move on. I mean, my biggest fear is that someone's going to hang up on me. It's never happened yet.

Believe it or not, I don't even think that would be the worst thing because you can kind of use it to her dad. It's for a show. Oh, that would be a great episode. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. But it's never happened.

But that's what people don't understand. And again, I'm not complaining. I'm just like a podcast is it's a lot more work, people, than just turning on a damn microphone. Oh my God. I know. I can't even. But let's talk about, but what I want to do is talk about you, right? Because like we start out saying, on your show, you talk to other people.

Do, I mean, you do before. I have a whole past life. Like I. That's what I want to talk about. Like, because I want to know, have you ever been married? Do you date? you know, are you gay? You're gay, right?

You said, I am gay. Thank you for asking. It's so funny. I had a guest on my show. Yeah. I had a guest Judy Gold. I don't know if you know her. Yeah, I do.

Uh-huh. She's great. And so, like, when the show started, she's like, I mean, she's like, David, Yontaph, and she's like, look at you. I was like, I have this pink artwork. I'm like, you're so gay. And she's a lesbian. Yeah. I don't, even if you're straight, I'm not offended by that.

And I'm like, I am so gay. And I'm like, you know, thank you. thank God because I mean I think it's harder if you're a straight acting gay like you have to come out all the time to so many people I'm like I'm happy that it's like you know I'm even or not like one in every maybe 10,000 people no maybe ever one in like a hundred thousand people every now and then someone is a little confused about whether I'm a straight man or not it's usually in the middle of America but yes 99% of the people I meet are like know that I'm obviously gay So I am gay.

I grew up. I went to law school. I mean, I'm like, you know, again, I'm a nice Jewish girl. So my parents were like, all right, so you know, these are your two choices. You can go to med school or law school. I dissected a frog in biology. I was like, I can't do this. I'm going to choose the law school route.

Went to law school. I don't know what my parents would have done if I was like, well, I want to be an after. I mean, you know, I really, anyone's parents that support them from the beginning of like, follow your dreams, that is amazing. Yeah. It was not my parents. Sorry, there's sirens going by, even though I'm high up in an apartment in New York. I'm in here too, yeah. So I went to law school, graduated, practice corporate tax law. Does that sound fun to you? No. No, it does not. So then I eventually quit. I fell into recruiting, you know, like staffing. Like I had a staff. You could make good money doing that. Right. So I had my own company and I made good money and then I disposed my

I sold my company and then I worked in-house for all these different companies running HR and recruiting. I work for the most notable as I ran HR and recruiting at Martha Stewart. Oh, wow. Okay. So, I mean, you know, if you think Martha Stewart is easy to work for, she's not. I mean, if there's anyone out there listening that thinks Martha Stewart's easy to work for, she's not. I don't think there's anyone that thinks that. I don't think so either. So, but you know, it's like, it's funny.

It's like I don't have anything really. negative to say about Martha. Like, you know, all these people that are at the top of their game and they get so much flack, it's kind of like I understand it. You know what I mean? Like, I understand it. Like, Martha's a perfectionist.

Yeah, but I, and I also hate to bring up the male-female thing, but I have to say, I have a, you know, there's, I'm sure there's a lot of male CEOs that pull the same shit, but there's not like words and terms that people use for, you know, and I do think,

And if you think about that bitch, how successful she was and the time that in, and how she made herself successful, the time that she did it in, you had to be a certain way. Yeah. Because it was a man's world. So you got to give it up to her. Anybody in her age range that became hugely successful as a female. And so, so what if she's, I don't know what they even use for her.

But I mean, don't you have to be that way to be a CEO and be the boss? And, you know, I mean, it takes a certain personality type. So I just think that there's more words for it when it comes to a woman than a man. But you think every male CEO out there is like a puppy dog? No. It's like they're fucking hardcore too. Same shit. No.

And I agree. And you know, so like if you're great at what you do. And also I have to say I have a being from New York. I have the type of personality where I have such a thick skin. I would rather you say, David, get in my office and why? what the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you do this? And this is horrible and this is a disaster.

And I don't know why we hired you. Be direct. I don't fix it out. I'd rather have that than have you be like, it's all fine. Don't worry. And I'm like, it doesn't really sound like it's fine. And then it's really not fine, but that's what you said to me. And meanwhile, you've had three meetings about me because something's wrong.

What's your deal, though, like in your personal life, right? So you won't tell me how old you are. Have you ever been married? I mean, now you can get married, right? Do you have, are you planning on ever having kids? I've never been married. I've never been married. What else was I going to say?

What's the longest, like, are you in a relationship now? I am not in a relationship now. So, okay, so I've never been married, not in a relationship now. Kids are definitely not for me. Uh-huh. Yeah. You know, they're just not. I think you know, you know what I mean?

Like, I always knew when I was younger I wanted to have a kid, and I think other people know the opposite. And whatever it is that you want, I think it's super important not to have any regrets, you know? Do you have kids now? Yeah, I have a single mom with a kid, and I had it way older in life. I'm more like a gay man because I used a surrogate.

Like, you know, I was 46 when my son was born. I did a lot. And you're all about your, listen, I have a lot of friends that. single moms. Yeah. And yeah, some early and some late. I have a lot of friends now that have surrogates.

I'm all for it. So, no, I mean, kids are not for me. I realize that. So I don't really need a child. You know, like, especially during COVID, I think that it's, I think it's time. And I think I would welcome a serious relationship. You know what it is? I have an adult version.

I have like an adult view of relationship. So I get, I think people, make a mistake that like this is not a Julia Roberts movie like this is not pretty woman. Yeah. So I think, you know, you get to be a certain age, whatever it is, where like, like I take responsibility for my singleness. Does that make sense? Yeah, of course. I mean, I think most of the time what I always say, because I, you know, is that whatever your life is right in front of you right now, you created that on some level. So if you're talking about you want something so different and that's

who you are, then, then, you know, you need to put that out there because what you have is what you wanted, right? Like, that's it. I completely agree with that. I really do. I don't, I don't believe in a victim mentality. I don't believe in, like, why can't I find someone? Why can't you find someone is like, you need to go to therapy and understand that it's a lot you. That if you really wanted someone, An adult healthy relationship, you would have someone. It's called sacrifice, not doing what you want all the time. The sex is not going to be as great three years in. I mean, I guess it could be.

I'm just stereotyping. But you know what I mean? Like, these are adult. So I feel like, yeah, up to this point, I've lived the life that I've wanted. You know, I think COVID, it's not like I'm one of these people. Oh, God, I've changed, like, some COVID, you know, but, like, I think, you know, Like I would welcome a relationship. Right.

What was the longest relationship you've ever had? My track record is so bad. It's okay. I have a terrible track record myself, so don't. You know, like me like, maybe like six months at most. Yeah. Maybe six months at most. I mean.

In your whole life. Yeah. And I'm not 22. So there you go. Yeah. I hear you. But wait. Let's go back.

to when you were younger. Like, when did you realize that you were gay and when did you come out? Like, all that kind of stuff is always interesting to me. I mean, I realized I was gay, probably maybe during law school. I mean, I think

you realize it and then you realize it. Does that make any sense? Yeah. You realize it and then you don't want to realize it. So you, well, at least I, you know. You put it someplace else. Yeah, you act on it once every three months and you're like, well, I'm not gay. It's just like a thing.

It just happened. Then you just realized, yeah, but I really like that. So I'm gay. So I think probably like during law school. Oh, so you were way older. Now, when you were younger, were you hooking up with guys? Like, when was the first time that you hooked up with a guy? Probably like around 18.

Uh-huh. So not so young. Right. And what, were you hooking up with girls and dating girls in high school? Was that like your thing? I had a girlfriend in high school for two years. We didn't do much.

Should have been the first, like, indication. But we didn't do so much. You never had sex with her? No. She would suck my dick. So, I mean, when you have a girlfriend that you never want to go down on

and you're like, you can just suck my dick. Yeah. I really don't want to do anything to you. Yeah. We were just having this whole conversation with a friend because I had a call around recently who just like hates going down on women and I was like that's like really interesting to me like what does that mean?

You know? And so I started talking to my guy friends about it and I'm like don't you think that means maybe he's gay? Because like isn't that like a big part? You know, if you're not into that at all. Yeah. Right? So you never would have sex with her.

You wouldn't go down on her. She's sexually dick. You dated her for two years and she was fine with that for some reason. Listen, we weren't. you know, I didn't really, like, I drank in, in college for the first time. So we were like the good students, you know, and I got straight A's. We were like that type. So she wasn't, we weren't like the popular kid. So I think she was just happy to have a boyfriend, but we also got along. Like, we were coming to New York and go shopping. You know what I mean? But mind you, then when we graduated

senior year before we went to college, I was like, we're going to have a great summer. Like, once in her for college, that's when she's like, sweetie, I'm dumping you. She's kind of a real man that she probably had tons of sex with. And then I was devastated, but I wasn't really devastated. I was devastated because I was like, I have no friends now and I want to go shopping in New York. Yeah.

So you're 18 and how, what's that first experience like? It was, I'm trying to think of, you know, it's like, it's weird to think like what was my first experience? like probably not doing much. It was someone who worked at the gap at the mall and like fooling around in his car which wasn't even really that much of a first experience. What do you mean?

It wasn't that much of a... Well, how did you want to know? Did you guys both work together? Like how did the whole... Because like, listen, here you are 18. You have been dating women, right? So now this is going to be, you know, ballsy of you to take that step and hook up with a guy the first time. Like, how did it happen?

That's a really good question. I believe I did take the initiative and I think that I either called the gap and got him on the phone, which is what I think I did. Or a note, but really called and just said, I was in there and I think he were cute. That's pretty forward. Yeah, I guess I was really, I have another forward story too. So I think, I mean, listen, I have a forward personality. But like even back then in my own way, I think that I was forward. Yeah.

Yeah, that is forward. For somebody that, you know, was dating women, right? And totally in the closet, then to, you know, all of a sudden start calling up and, you know, going after what you want, which is a guy. I think that's very forward. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. So you wind up in the car with him. I wind up in the car with him.

But let me tell you nothing really happened because he was older. Not that I was young and he was nervous, but he was like, you know, this isn't really how it works. Like, you know, come out of the closet, sweetie. And let's go have, you know, a drink or coffee or whatever. Yeah. So look, someone actually was like, you know, he's like, I don't want this in my life. I mean, if I had to take a gas, he was probably like 28, I was like 18. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So nothing. And I was like, oh, you know, so he kind of, you know, in a nice way called me out of like, you want to go out and be seen. I don't, I'm better than just a car. Like, good for him, right? Yeah, yeah. You either, like, you could look at that story and say, oh, you picked like the really right

gay guy or you picked the really wrong gay guy. Because a lot of guys would have been down for that scenario, right? There's like, I feel like, right? Why not? Just a quick hook up in the car with a guy that's 10 years younger than you, you know? This is like, but this was a guy that really sort of held the mirror in front of you maybe and made you think about things yourself. Yeah. Yes.

And then, I mean, then in college, you know, there were bathrooms. Like, there are bathrooms you could fall around. Like, I wasn't looking for it. But I was like, oh, in the library, I was like, oh, this is. So I had stuff like that. But then what happened is. One of my friends, I went to school in Connecticut, one of my friends went to school at Columbia, came to visit my friend at Columbia. We were in the Met or something like that.

Uh-huh. And at the museum? Yeah. Okay, yeah. So you're in a museum. Now, the friend that you're visiting, is it a male or a female? A male. Okay.

So you're at the mat. Um, what was I going to say? We were at the Met and he, like, I saw this cute guy and I was like, I think he's gay. So I, once again, Baldy kind of just slowly moved away from my friends, ran into this guy. It was obviously we were cruising each other and I said, like, I'm with my friends. I can't really talk because remember, I'm still closeted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we exchanged numbers or whatever.

Exchange numbers. then I texted him right away and he's like, I'm free tonight. Meet me here for a drink. Now, I was still under age, probably 19 or whatever. Yeah. I, what was I going to say? His cousin owned the bar.

Formingo East. I don't know if you remember that place. No. Not there. But I'm lucky that I have enough friends in the city. So I told, I'm not enough friends. I have family in the city. So I told.

my friends that I was having dinner with my cousin. Mm-hmm. So I was able to... To go hook up with that guy. Go meet him. Yes. Yeah. And then he too wanted drinks in a movie and then we went back to his house.

And then I stayed over and I told my friends, I'm just going to stay on my cousins. And then we hooked up. Right. And was that was your full on first experience. And did you do everything with him? No. We did not do everything. We did not do everything.

not do everything. Just oral? Oral. Yeah, and kissing. Right. And did you like him? Or was it just a hookup? I liked him. Now is that when you realize like, oh, you're gay and this is what this means?

And I mean, you know, or are you still sort of compartmentalizing it in your life? Like you do it and then detach from it? Um, kind of then. Because I was still studying all the time. Yeah. You're in law school. So I wasn't in law school. I was in college. Yeah. But I kind of still separated it and I liked him. But I also went to school and you know what it is?

It wasn't like, oh, New York is so close by. Let me come in. It was like, I'm going back to school. So I kind of liked him. Yeah. I mean, don't you always like the first person you hook up with and like they have a life and you don't? Yeah, I think so. a lot, yeah. Yeah, I feel like sometimes it could just be a physical thing. Sometimes it's romantic. And I think when the romantic thing comes into play, like that makes you realize more, right? Because I have a lot, listen, I have a lot of guys on my show and it's kind of crazy to hear. But now doing my show six years, I've heard it many times.

Like, yeah, I like to suck dick, but I'm not gay. You know what I mean? And so they, you know, but when you want to kiss a guy and you like him and you feel romantic feelings, you know, that I feel like would make you. you, it would be harder to deny that either you're by or gay or something like that, you know. So I'm just wondering when it really clicked for you. And then when you came out of the closet. Okay. Can we just go back?

Because I find that way more interesting. So all of these straight guys say like they just like, I mean, I get, they like to suck dick. I mean, I don't get that. I get the like, I don't care if like I'm drunk all the way back and let the guys suck. Yeah. But they're okay with, they're like, I like to suck dick. but I'm straight. Really?

Yeah. They won't even, yeah. And you believe in this. Well, no, I have conversations. My whole thing is always like I just want to ask them. That makes me curious. I want to ask a million questions. Like how do you feel like you have dicks in your mouth but you're straight?

Maybe you're by, you know, and then it turned out that I had a very wrong view of what being bisexual is. And then there's a lot of guys on my show that they're dressed. They like to, like they're cross-dressers. So they don't really like men, but they like to be with men when they're dressed up as a girl. It gets so fucking confusing because I hear it all. So there's so many different scenarios. Right. And if they're cross-dressing, that is different for them.

When they're cross-dress, they're female, right? They're not trans. They don't want to transition. They don't identify as female. No. So it's a whole, yeah, it's a whole confusing. No, I mean, I understand it. A lot of people don't.

Like, I have a lot of straight friends, even in New York, that still mess up things like Caitlin Jenner. is a lesbian and they're like, huh? And I'm like, so it's, I get it. Yeah. So, cloth dressing. Like, Caitlin's a woman. Yeah.

But we're on a man. And Caitlin likes women. So therefore, Caitlin's a lesbian. And they're like, huh? But yeah, cross dressing is different. I, really, so just this whole category of straight men that just like a dick in their mouth. All right.

But have you, have you, I mean, as a gay man, I don't know if you're like super promiscuous and like do a lot of hookups you know if you're not meeting all the time promiscuous enough yeah yeah so I mean you you've had to have hooked up with many guys straight straight that are married I hear these stories all the time you know so there's guys like you on the other end of that story right

that are tons but I they're not really sucking my yeah and I love it I love it because it's not well sometimes it's just like come over like they're getting you to suck them all sometimes they're being buying you to suck them all sometimes they're being

bottom sometimes they're topping i mean i've heard it all right you know but i have had a lot of guys i will tell you say that they hug up with guys but they don't consider themselves gay and i'm always like you know if i was a gay man listening i'd be insulted you know this is what i've come to say like because it's almost like you you don't want to admit something about you're like what is that like what is that oh but i'm not gay like as if being gay there's something wrong with it you know that's what i don't get you know that whole not being able to identify i mean if you have a dick in your mouth and you like to suck dick and that's a part of a man. Like, maybe you like guys, you know, and I don't understand that disconnect of not being able to say that and that's where, and I've

yeah, like, I think, you know, it's kind of like rude to say, you know, because it, why is that a bad thing, you know, but I mean, listen, I always feel sorry for them instead and I'm just like, you got some sexual identity issues. Yeah, but I have a lot of guys that, listen, my show is not going to be needed 20 years from now because the younger generation is much more open and able to be who they are, right? I'm 52. I grew up in a time where everything was under the rug. You know what I mean? Like, nobody could be, you could never be gay. You know, there was a time like in the 80s when it was like cool for girls to be bisexual and they all started making out with each other right. But, you know, whatever. It's like a girl crush became okay to say out loud. But for the most part, people in my

age, range and the people who are calling my show or have been living a double life, their whole life. you know and being gay does have a connotation to it which is you know slowly going away so you know i am talking to these people that have really been able to like sort of disconnect and keep that separate you know and it is interesting you know but and sometimes just talking about what they're doing for the first time you know but what i always find interesting is somebody like you who did come out of the closet right like how old were you when you came out of the closet like 24 24 and how would was that like received and what made you decide to do it then? Well, then when I moved to New York, my first apartment was on Christopher Street. It just is what it is. And my parents are divorced.

My father and sister came to the apartment. They're just like, I mean, it really, listen, people say don't out. People let them go at their own pace. Like, yeah, I don't announce it to the world. But I think good advice is if someone brings it up to someone, it makes it easier. So my Sister and father were like, well, you're obviously gay. And I'm like, yeah. Well, that was easy. I mean, yes, okay, I had 800 other people to tell. And it wasn't like that not obvious.

But it's so easy when someone just asks you. I mean, if you're ready, you almost want, I don't know, that to me is easier than like, sit down. We have to talk. Yeah. Like, I don't know. So that's kind of, yeah. And they all, so most people were, most people knew and were not surprised. yes most people knew and were not surprised with some exceptions like there's one or two friends

I told her they were like but you always talked about dating girls and I'm like well yeah just change those girls names to guy names like is that is that why you're shocked I mean look at me sweetheart so yeah and and so now why do you think though that you've only had like I mean six month relationships do you like I mean I have the same, I mean, I've had like a one, two year relationship, but I definitely like would label myself as a commitment fob. I've had those issues. But at the same part, I'm also a person that, you know, the thought of being with somebody, even when I was super young, was never like, oh, I can't wait to grow up and get married. I never had that fantasy in my life. You know what I mean?

It seems like a little claustrophobic to me to be with the, I say it's like marriage math. If you like, how could you be with somebody for that many years, the same person? You know, I don't know. It's like, I mean, you know, but as I get older, it seems. easier to think, oh, I could be with someone for 10 years. You know, 10 years when you're in your 50s is it goes fast. When you're younger, 10 years seems like your whole fucking life, you know, and I never could understand that. But it's also some of that for you, like, now your life is changing.

Like, you know, like your ailments, you know, you're not 90 years old, but, you know, you're slowing down. It's something of it's just like, well, my life is changing anyway. And also, I like to do, and I don't know. know if this for you because I think you said you were looking maybe to maybe open yourself but to have a partner now but right isn't that what you said but like it would and I think I have realistic expectations you know but a person has to be you know I mean this is going to sound so obnoxious but like I really feel that people that I meet to date this sounds so obnoxious and it's not meant to

it's like when you look around you're like what the fuck are you bringing to this like I'm the more successful one. I'm the one that's at the gym at 6 a.m. I'm the one that's working. Like, it's not meant to sound obnoxious. Like, I just can't deal with that lazy, like, so busy. You want to be with an equal? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's hard. You know, when I meet an equal who is also cute and listen, I have realistic expectations of cute, you know, I'm not talking like, you know, you can't eat an extra slice of pizza and have zero, you know, no. I'm just saying like a normal cute. Like, I don't. I don't. I don't. don't get into that. Like the thing I, one of the things I hate the most is I'm so busy. Oh, I didn't

call you guys. No, nobody is that. Like, I think the proof is in the pudding. So to me, it's like actions speak louder than words. So the minute someone, and I tell this to my friends all the time, I actually give great dating advice, just because I don't take it myself. But, you know, like the minute someone can't call back, do you know what I mean? The minute they're like, it's like, I don't care what they're saying to you. Action speaks louder than words. And this person doesn't like you and you should just move on. Yeah.

I think at a certain point. I'm too busy. Yeah. When I'm working here on a podcast, 20 hours a day and you're sitting on your damn couch. If you think that's busy, then we have different definitions of that and I'm really turned off. Yeah.

I want someone. I'm turned on by not even like money success, but like just success in your profession. Mm-hmm. For sure. And I don't know about you, but for me, it's like I like to do things that are really hard. For me, it's very easy to be alone. It's, I love it. It's the easiest thing. I prefer it. I mean, you know, and so to me, I feel like on my deathbed, would I be sad that I was never married? No, that's never been a thing. But I would like to say I had a 10-year relationship and I was able to do that because I think it would be hard and that would be like conquering something and do it. And I like to just do hard things. You know what I mean? So I could like check. that out the box, it'd be like, oh, I was able to do that, something that was, like, difficult, you know? And like I said, I think it's like, it doesn't seem as a claustrophobic to me thinking about a relationship now for 10 years than it did, you know, before. Do you have a little commitment phobia, you think? And by the way, I say the same thing. Like, I'm not going to look back on my

deathbed and say, like, I wish someone was here because I will admit that I wasn't willing to do. what came along with that throughout the years. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's easy to look back and say, I wish someone was here. Yeah, sure. At the end of my life, I would wish someone was there,

but that doesn't mean that I would want to sacrifice for what I consider a sacrifice, like 80 years of my life. Do you know what I mean? Excuse me. Do I think I'm somebody of a commitment, phoge? I don't know, maybe, yeah.

I don't know if it's that. I don't know if it's that. I really feel this. This is going to be like a very negative. It's going to sound negative, but it's not. I just have a very, what's the word? I'm very happy person. I'm not unhappy.

I just have like a very realistic. I don't even think pessimistic, a realistic view of the world. I look around and I think like 15% of couples, maybe more. I like to say 15%. What do I know? Who am I? Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong.

I just think like 15% of couples. of the couples out there are truly happy and well matched. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. But and the rest of the couples, it seems like a really fucking awful time. Yes. Yes. So to me, I don't get that. That to me is an absolute fucking death fucking sentence. That's a death. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. What's your parents' relationship? Are they still together? Well, here's the thing. My parents are, they had a brutal, brutal, brutal, brutal divorce. There's tons of divorce. My family, I know, I know you could go there and analyze it with that. But like my sister is divorced now, but she was in a very long relationship with her high school sweetheart.

And now she has another boyfriend. So it's like you can't, I mean, okay, we're two years apart. And this doesn't mean it would affect her. No, I'm asked because I never looked at relationships or marriage and like, oh, I want to do that because my parents, they're still together to this day. But the way they talk to each other and the way that they were and the torture I saw my mom go into what she had to deal with my father. But what she's signed up for and stayed with her whole life. I could never like it was just always like I think that was a big turn off to me, you know, on some level. Like that was a part of it. You know, so that's just why I asked.

I mean, whether they're divorced or not. like my parents are still together, but I don't really, you know, it's not interesting to me. Just because of the relationship that they had that I saw didn't seem appealing at all. Like I just,

I think I'm never really even going to understand it until, until if it ever happens, I'm in a 10 year loving relationship, but I just don't really get it. But, you know, I, I, I get it.

You know, I get it. So, like, yeah, I mean, I would like someone, it's not like, but I agree.

Like, I don't really get, lonely. But you know what? Isn't that the best person that you should want to be in a relationship with? So I mean, I'm open to a relationship. That's a good starting point. I mean, that's where you should start from because then you're not going to wind up with someone out of desperation or, you know. But then if you're not slightly desperate for the companionship, then you're going to be less likely to put up with certain things. I think a lot of people are so not interested in being alone. And that's fine. I think there's just two different types of people. You know, I don't think everyone's right or wrong, right?

It's just you're either like a relationship person or you're not. And relationship people, they cannot be alone. So I think they have it in them to put up with more of the garbage that maybe somebody who loves being along is going to put up with because they don't have a choice. The fear of being alone of what they don't like is stronger than their distaste of what they're dealing with. You know what I mean? So they put up with it. Whereas if you love being alone, you're like the minute things get a little difficult, you might be like, see you later. you know, because you're fine with being alone.

And that could be the problem, right? Right. Yeah, no, I mean, I agree with all of that. I agree with all of that. So, yeah. I mean, I'm not like picky. It's not like you can make one mistake in your out. It's just more like, I mean, I think with a relationship,

this is what I've always said. I think I need someone to kind of be more of the aggressor. Like, it's almost like, like, if I look, at all my friends, this is going to sound obnoxious also. Like, I didn't like all my friends in the beginning. You know what I mean? It's just, I'm one of those people that, like, if you just hang in there, I mean, okay, if there's no sexual attraction or whatever.

But, like, I look at my friends and I'm like, I didn't really choose these people. It just kind of happened. Like, you wanted to go out with me as a friend, and then you wanted to go out again, and then you wanted to go out again. And I don't know. I don't really love you. Like, I didn't think. But here you are.

You're still here a year later. So we're friends now. Like, just, I didn't analyze it. It just happened. I don't know. I think with a relationship, someone needs to kind of say, like, let's go out. Like, it's not me being lined and dined. It's not my ego.

It's just that, like, if left on my own devices, I am okay alone. So if you ask me out, I'll go. Even if I'm not overly interested in you know. So you're not that aggressive guy. that was calling up the gap and, you know, make it shit happen or at the Met that was like, I am like with my podcast. That has become so successful.

Like, I am when I want something, you know? Right. But has there ever been any guys over the time, you know, that you have wanted them and have done that even recently? No.

No. No. No. No. Like there's nobody that I can think of, no. Do you do dating apps like Tinder and stuff like that? Like how do you meet the guys that you meet? Yeah, I like do the dating apps.

Sure. Right. And have you been hooking up through COVID? Like, what is that deal? You know, here's the thing. COVID is a learning experience, right? Yeah. In the beginning of COVID, in the beginning, no, I was fucking petrified.

Yeah. It literally, I said this before. It's like fucking high school. It's like, I'm like, four. again and it's fucking high school. I wasn't hooking up at all March, April, May. You know, then look, we're all living with COVID. I think everybody, for the most part, now has relaxed COVID practices of what they probably

should be and what they weren't at the beginning, you know, with a few exceptions. So I feel that in general, I do things in COVID that I probably shouldn't. You know, I still think I'm, you know, I work at home with a podcast. I'm home for days. I don't leave my apartment. But yeah, I hook up in COVID. Yeah. And then it went really safe?

No, I mean, do I rationalize it? Yeah. Is it, do I know what I'm talking about? No. I mean, I rationalize it of like, I haven't left my house in two weeks because I have a job at home and I live in New York and nothing's open. So if I hook up with two people this week, yeah, we're very close to each other. That's two people versus.

I'm not so sure that's any less safe than going to the grocery store. Right. To fair way. Yeah. Again, not justifying. But yeah, so I hook up now. And so people are hooking up. I mean, listen, I just had an escort on this girl, Molly, who's been on my show before.

And the whole thing was kind of like, are you still escorting through COVID? And she has. And sometimes she sees a lot of guys in a day. And she's never been sick. She didn't get COVID, you know. And I had COVID, and I have to tell you. Oh, well, there you go. So we don't need to get into through why.

No, but I'm saying, so you're safe, but don't you feel safe because you've had it? I do, but you know, they don't know for sure. Yeah, but still, I think that makes you pretty safe. They don't know. And it was through a housewives thing. It was like, and I don't want to get into what it was, but, you know, it's like when you see on the news and they're like, the police busted up that party where there was 40 people, it was like that. It was in, it was an event with 90 people in a restaurant with no masks. Right.

And it wasn't in a height of it. It was during COVID. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But, you know, it's one of these things of like, we know all 90 people. Well, okay, you did. Yeah. But that doesn't matter.

It just takes one person. That's where it was like, you know, it's almost like, you know, it's almost like, you know, it's almost like, you know what it is you don't necessarily believe. There's so much like fodder on. COVID that you don't know what to believe. And not only that, I'm sorry, but you've been, like, to tell somebody who's single and has a sex drive, like, you know, it's one thing to, you know, to keep to not be hooking up in the first three months, you know, but like, we're like almost a year later, you know, eventually, like, what are people supposed to fucking do, you know?

It's just like, you know, I think a lot of people relaxed, you know, a lot of the rules that they had with themselves. Because you're like sick of not fucking living life like seriously. You know, I get it. And you're fucking horny. Yeah. I mean, literally I was going crazy in the beginning of COVID. Of course. Like with no hookups.

Like literally crazy. We were, listen, I lived in New York. I stayed in New York, right? You were stayed here. Like, I mean, it was hardcore. And, you know, and for a while we all, I saw a man throw himself off a window out of window and kill himself right in front of me 10 feet away. Like that's how fucking crazy people were going.

Yeah. Like seriously. People were throwing them up building. And it's still like depressing. I mean, it's still like, you know, like everyone who was like blah, blah, blah, blah in 2020. And I'm like, this was in like November. I'm like if one more person starts, you know, saying something about 2020, like people wake up and smell the coffee. What is going to be different with 2021? You know, I appreciate the optimism. But like I was not going to magically change. No. And so like, you know, I mean, it's still. Like God knows what the fuck is going on in the world. Like hopefully this just isn't our life. You know, and that's kind of how my show really blew up too. Like I, anyone that slept through COVID that didn't want to get out of bed, I am not judging. You know, no judgment. Yeah.

It just wasn't for me. So I doubled down. And that's when I was like, I'm working and like, oh, my God, like we have so many people recording now. Let's go to three days a week. And the fans were like, I can't believe you're three days a week. No one's doing this. And I'm like, okay, we're just going to go to the fourth. days a week. It just, that's how the podcast kind of exploded, really. Yeah, I did my Patreon. That was always

something that I wanted to do. And I mean, I was locked in the house by myself, no cleaning lady anymore, no nanny, no anyone, and just like a four-year-old. I mean, I was like, what the fuck I'm going to do? But I, you know, I introduced the iPad to him and I got shit done. And that's how I put my, I did, I got a lot of stuff done that I was always on the back burner, you know, because as New Yorkers, like, you always feel like you have to be out and about doing stuff, right? You're never like home enough to really get that done. So it was it same here. I did everything in my house. Yeah. But you know, so look, I mean, it's not like, oh, I'm lonely and depressed now I want to meet someone. It's just, you know, it's more like, yeah, it's just more like I'm open to it,

but it's like I really am of that like, yes, I need to be sexually attracted to you. Of course. Right. And I mean, really, let's not, let's not decrease my like superficiality. So it's What's your type in case people are listening? You know, they're going to go Google you. Then it's like I really believe the problem people make dating is like it should be your best friend. The person should be your friend. Like dating should be fun. Yeah.

So I am very maybe because of the podcast, it's all scheduling. And I'm just very, I mean, your listeners are probably not going to believe this by listening to the. by listening to me, I'm actually not high strong in like my personal life. It's just the opposite. I'm like, it doesn't matter what we do. Like it's just you can make it fun. Yeah. So it's like I think, listen, I think like you, like I think a lot of people that are okay being alone, like you get the right person. It's not that you're so picky. It's just that you should be your friend. It shouldn't be like just the person you're attracted to. like, I don't know, you know, so it's like, yeah, there's those relationships. Those other, the 85% of the people, you know, you're looking for that 15%.

The 85% I think have something that's like you're putting a round peg in a square hole or some shit, you know, whatever that thing is. And it is very difficult. But I do think, because I think back to my life and I think of all the relationships I had that were shorter term. I mean, I was in just as bad of relationships, right? The same. But it's like, I feel like the same as that person that's with the same person

for 10 years and they have a really difficult relationship. They're learning and growing through that kind of stuff. I learned and grow through 50 different people as opposed to one person. You know, so it's kind of like you do need bad relationships. You do learn there's data in that for everybody, right? We go through that. And what's my type you asked before? Yeah, what's your time?

Because listen, people are going to be listening and people are going to be Googling and they're going to be able to see you, right? You're not anonymous. Most people on my show are anonymous. You're not anonymous. They can see what you look like. You're a handsome guy. You know, maybe you'll get some dates.

I don't know. You never know. David Yontheff behind the Velvet Row podcast. I guess. But what's your type? If you hate the way I look, I mean, thank you for saying. I'm handsome. If you hate the way I look and you love reality TV, don't date me.

It just isn't to the damn fucking podcast. Exactly. But if you don't know reality TV and you want to date me, go around ahead. My type, I really, I know this sounds like cliche, but like I don't have a type per se. You know, I You like who you like. You have to be fit and in shape. But that's, that's a, that's a broad statement.

Could you be really skinny and not work out and be like a total twink type? Sure. Could you be someone that like works out and has like a normal adult body? Sure. Like just be somewhat in shape. Like it's a pretty big variety. What about age range? I seriously know I have to admit I do even though I didn't tell you my age I do make the mistake of dating way too young mostly yeah that's always a tell to me like I was telling somebody and I don't care whether you're gay or straight who's not ready for a relationship but I just like when I did online dating many years ago like that was always the first thing I looked at to see what a guy put and it was always to me a red flag of some guy put in there like 20.

to 50s. I'm like, okay, it's like apples and oranges. You know, if you would date a 25 year old or a 50 year old, you know, that's two different things. Like you can't be into both.

So I get it, right? And that's like, well, I always think it's weird when someone's like, say 45. Yeah.

And they say that they'll date 22 to 44. Yeah, that's what I mean. You want younger. Yeah. You're just staying 44 because you're 45. This didn't just cross off that. You know,

you really want someone like 18, for like 21. Let's just, let's just call what it is. Yeah, exactly. But at least it weeds out the stuff. But I mean, I just always, age age is always interesting, you know, but I don't think there's anything wrong with liking whatever you fucking like anyway. No, I mean, listen, I would date like, I mean, I don't mind dating in the 20s, but I don't mind dating 30s, 40s, 50s.

Like, I know it's like, it's so, like, it'd be great. You know, listen, there's a lot of, you know, 52-year-old daddies that, like, are really have it together. Yeah. it doesn't really matter, you know? But I mean, I think for dating, yeah, like I need someone with a career. So by that would be more like 30s, 40s, 50s, you know? Mm-hmm.

But you listen, nowadays, you could get a YouTuber that's like 27 and making millions of dollars, right? And it's like, more money than all of us. Yeah. Yeah. And listen, nobody's going to be that successful without putting in the hard work. It's not like success or that kind of money or like a, YouTuber, like, I think some people look at people like that and think, oh, like, that they, they, like, got lucky or something. I mean, in no way.

It's fucking hard work. Or anybody that's, you know, is that high up there. I'm not, like, I'm not like, I have my own money. Like, you don't need to. It's just the, like, it's just the, you know, you just, it's a similar life. You know, when the world was open, I was the type that, like, I would say next weekend, I'm going to get on a plane and I'm just going to go to Paris for the weekend. I don't need to live that type of life anymore. But, you know, it's just like you got to have some career.

Like you can't, like money can't really be an issue. It can't. It's just, you have to have it together a little bit. Right, well, that's not, but you're not, right. And I think that that, like you said in the beginning when you were explaining that, like you feel like it sounds so obnoxious, but it does make sense that it's not going to, it wouldn't work out with somebody that's like super hard working, right, to have somebody lazy and vice versa, right?

I mean, I think there is something to say about having someone who is your equal, not to say that other relationships don't work. When I heard that J-Lo was with A-Rod, you're like, that fucking makes sense. Even like Kanye with Kim Kardashian, like that fucking makes sense because a lot of other men would not be able to deal with their success. They need their equal. Andy Cohen, I'm always like, he needs his fucking equal, you know. Have you ever met him? Yeah.

Oh, okay. That doesn't sound so good. I don't know. You can ask other gay men in New York. like him or not. Yeah, but I mean, he's always like talking about like, I don't know, finding someone to me always dates younger, but I'm always like, he needs, he would have to be with someone really successful, I think. He would need maybe his equal. You know, I don't know, but he's notoriously single too. So, right? I mean, totally. But, you know, like someone like Andy, like his looks are

fine. Anderson. Like, you know, just like, just be cute, man. Just be cute. Like, so once we're past that we can worry about everything else. Right. And now does he like let's, because we're going to wrap it up and I want to go back to your podcast. Like do you like it to be somebody that really is in reality? Are you, because like I guess for your show, right? You have to be watching it and you are watching it and you must love it, right? It's not like you just do it for your job, right? Were you a reality TV star junkie like I am and then just happen? That's why you pick that for your podcast. I mean I am. like I would say I watch a lot of it for my show now.

It's weird. It's like I work so much that there are days. I mean, I've flirted with people on my show before and I feel like they flirt with me. It hasn't really over time. Everyone has a fucking boyfriend. Yeah. Part of me is like,

oh, well, it would totally make sense if I met someone in the industry. Someone who's on reality TV is a producer, just someone in the industry. So I have days like that. Yeah. And then I have other days where if you don't know,

anything about what I talk about, it's kind of refreshing. You know what I mean? I know I sound all over the place, but like that's refreshing too. I mean, what I don't like and what has happened to me, but I mean,

I'm kind of a great judge of character. It's like if you slip into my DMs and you don't know about reality TV, that's great. Like, you don't need to be the cool one. Like you can be totally clueless. But don't lie about it.

Right. When you slip in and you don't know about it. And all of a sudden you got a question about Teresa Doudicay from the real house. Oh, no. It's so obvious. You are not needing any of my housewife friends or anybody that's on reality TV for months. Like, so I've had that happen before. Oh, where they're just trying to use you to get to those people?

Is that what you're saying? Yes. I've had that happen specifically. multiple times. And like, at least if you're a fan of Behind the Velvet World podcast, fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, you're not even necessarily a fan of mine. You're just trying to get to all these housewives that I'm friends with.

It's like, back off. And you have crossed over as far as, like, I mean, a lot of these people have become your friends, right? Which I don't think is that common. Totally. So that's the thing. Like, I'm friends with a lot of these. I mean, I'm friends with a lot of the reality stars and, like, housewives. That's really why I started my podcast.

But I really become friends, a lot of people that are on my show. Right. I mean, it's like intimate. You're staring at someone on a Zoom. We're sitting next to them for an hour. I'm just good at keeping in touch. Not everybody. You just bond with certain people and love certain people.

Yeah. So, yeah. Like, if you're doing it to meet someone through me, that's not going to happen. So I feel like either someone in the industry that gets it, and then that's like, all right, well, I work all the time. I mean, that's the other thing. Like, everyone's like, why are all your friends on reality TV? You're such a fame whore, blah, blah.

I hear that all the time. It's like, no, you don't understand. Like, if you went to a nine to five job, you would say, not to everyone, you would have certain colleagues that you would say, it's Thursday, let's go grab a drink at the bar. Yeah. To me, if you're housewise and we can go have a drink, and I can also talk about stuff, and it's like helping my business that I legitimately like you as a friend, And it's just like that's like mixing business and pleasure.

Everybody does it around the world. Yeah, for sure. So that's where I'm like part of me will end up with someone in the industry. And then I also love when people just don't know anything about the industry. Yeah, that makes sense. And I don't think it's bad to be all over the place. It just means you're open. You're just open.

Yeah. You know what I am. Because sometimes you don't know what's right. Like sometimes, I mean, you can have it all planned out, envision it whatever, but whoever shows up and is the right person. and could be something totally different, but I think it's good if you are open to different things. I don't think that that's bad, you know?

Right, and I don't think that's bad either. I don't get both things on your vision board. Yeah, kind of, right? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so plug all your stuff. So your podcast is behind the belt rope. I listened to it. I loved it.

You have all the players on there. If you're into reality TV like I am, you know, you're interviewing everybody who's anybody, right? The current people. I mean, you get them all on your show. And what's great is like, because I went back and listened to other ones that were older. Like, and I listened to Perez because I love him, right? And you've had him on a lot, right?

So it's just reality TV people. Who else do you have on your show? Well, like we had it. I had on like Melissa Rivers. And then like people from like other, you know, like we've had a lot of people from Rupal's drag race, but also like selling sunset. Like for anyone who watches that show, we've had like the whole cast. So it's really, it's not just, it's not just Bravo.

It's mostly Bravo, and it's not even just reality TV. I'm trying to think who we've had that maybe isn't, you know, like Melissa Rivers, Perez-Hilton. They're not really reality TV people. You know, they're more pop culture. But we've had people from like the real world, the hills. Oh my God, real world. That's what that's, I was so obsessed with that show. And that's what made me realize, like that, I'm a reality TV person.

Like, I love that back then because I like people and I like to learn about people, you know, and I like the psychology behind people. And I think that's what you get on reality TV. you know what I mean and I like it you know um and that's why I like your podcast and that's why people should go and listen to your podcast you have also because I know because when you were like going to come on my show I was like what are we going to talk about I would have loved to have talked to you about reality TV the whole time but I don't know so much that my listeners would have wanted to hear us rap I could have wrapped with you about that for like three hours you know if people want to know more about

you talking about this yeah but if people want to know more about you you have been on other they could also Google you and you've been on other podcasts and talking about yourself right I mean, you did tell me that you were on another show where you got in a little bit more deep about yourself. Yeah, like I feel like I am an open book. I mean, I was also on, this is nothing to do anything. I was on, I was on way back 2010 on Millionaire Matchmaker. I know Patty Stanger. You're on the show?

I was. Oh, my God. Were you like one of the people to dating or like were you just one of the people, like the cast of? I was the one that she fixed off. I was one of the ones that she fixed up. Oh my God. So I definitely saw that episode because I watched every single. single one. It was like, remember there was a season

came to New York? Yes. Yeah, totally. And it was so bad because New Yorkers don't give a shit about being famous. Like, I always felt like it worked way more in L.A. because all those people there want to be actors and everything. So everyone was like super good looking. Then they came to New York. And it just wasn't the same because I just people in New York aren't as into the fame thing, I think. I don't know. But anyway, they came to New York. Right. Right. Who did you date? Who wasn't? Oh, on the show? Yeah, did it work out? no of course it didn't work out

okay well of course it didn't work out but it's on you have to watch it's really funny but I mean like you know what it is you meet all these people so quick you just choose your type that's the bottom line there the person I chose is my type like I could look at it and be like yeah it makes sense I mean you're in a room and you have to talk to these people

and then you have to like make a decision really quickly you're like of course I chose this person right now have you had her did you have her on your show after now that you do this and you know she's now that we're friends, yeah, she's been on twice and she's coming back. Oh, that's awesome. So that would be a good listen because you guys talk about relationships and dating and stuff like that. Exactly. She's coming back because she talks about relationships. You should listen. There's two Patty episodes. I mean,

she gives a lot of advice about like famous couples like him and Kanye or they well match. Like that's kind of what Patty does when she comes on my show. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. So people should go listen to your podcast behind the bump of rope. I'll link to it in my description. Thanks so much for calling in. it was fun for you. I know I try to like ask you a lot of personal questions, but that's what I did. No, no, not at all. I hope that your listeners are not like, oh my God, what is this guy talking about? Yeah, no, but if they want to know more, go listen to your show, go Google, you know, you have been on other podcasts and, but thanks for calling in and I'm a fan of your show, so I'll be listening, subscribe. Thank you. And if anyone wants to follow us on Instagram, it's at behind velvet rope. There's no thought in the title. It's at behind velvet rope. But okay, great. I'm going to link that to app behind the velvet rope.

Yeah, and for Apple or Spotify, it's behind the velvet rope. And yeah, if anyone likes reality TV, it is literally five days a week interviews. You won't learn much about me. You will learn about the guest. So if you have a favorite housewife,

chances are that we have them coming on. And like I said, my style is I will relax you. I will make you calm. And then I will go in and for the kill and ask all the questions I need to ask. Yeah, you're a very good listener. Unlike me.

How many times I cut you off? on the show. Oh, you're great. Anyway, thanks so much for coming on. I'll put all your links in to all your stuff too as well. All right. And keep in touch for real. Okay, cool. Thanks, David. All right. We'll talk there. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is a available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format

or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. there's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.