Strictly Anonymous Confessions - BONUS EPISODE 409 - Aaron has Erectile Dysfunction and Wants to Help Others with ED

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

Aaron Canada has erectile dysfunction and he wants to help other with ED an he calls in to talk all about it as well as talk about his award winning short documentary on ED and the long version he's currently directing/producing. When did he realize he had erectile dysfunction? How has it impacted his relationships? And, what has he done/tried to deal with it? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how and why he decided to direct/produce a documentary on ed, what he's learned about ed from the experts he's interviewed as well as from his own experience, how he met his fiancé, her sexual dysfunction and how they will be conquering it all in the new documentary, where you can go and sign up anonymously to meet thousands of others with ed as well as get help and support, where you can go see his short, how you help him finish the documentary by donating to his kickstarter and a whole lot more. If you have ED or know someone who does, then this episode is for you! To get more info and donate to his Kickstarter, click here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/aaronmcanada/sexual-dysfunction-a-love-story  To see the short, click here https://vimeo.com/413755342  To join an anonymous forum with thousands of others suffering from erectile dysfunction, click here: https://www.franktalk.org  Aaron's instagram oh_hey_canada **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore, or Thailand. He can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. With real problems. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change.

Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. I'm going to be taping people again to be on my show. So if you want to be on, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. Tell me a little bit about yourself in the email and then I'll get back to you. Today I'm having a guy named Aaron Canada.

Now, Aaron Canada created a short that I saw on erectile dysfunction. I thought the short was so great that I literally sent it to like two of my list in my callers who I knew had this problem because I was like, I think that this could really help them. And it was just a short. He's in the process actually of doing a full-length documentary. It's called sexual dysfunction, a love story. It's about him and his girlfriend and his producer, I think it is, journey of figuring out how to conquer their sexual dysfunction. He's got ED. His girl's got something else. The producer,

like I said, that he met up with also has ED. That producer started an anonymous community for guys with erectile dysfunction. And it's anonymous. So you could go there. There's thousands of people who have signed up. It's a great place to go. Like I said, anonymously, and talk to other people who are just like you. Links to all of these things are going to be in the description below. Links to the short that I think is fantastic. You should watch. that first because that gives you a little backstory on it. There's a lot of great experts in there talking about erectile dysfunction. You know, what is the cause of it? What are the solutions? And then there will be a link to his Kickstarter campaign. You could donate to help him finish

his documentary. And then there'll also be a link to that online anonymous community for you guys to sign up and join. I think erectile dysfunction is very common. Not only do I think it, I mean, I learned this by watching his show, right? It's a very common problem, but it's something that people don't talk about. And the reason why I decided to have Aaron Canada on is because I think that it's really important for people to talk about things like this. I think what he's doing is fantastic, and I wanted to support his cause on this episode. Not only does he talk about erectile dysfunction and what you could do about it, he also talks about his personal experience with it, as well as his girl's personal experience with her sexual dysfunction.

So sit back, relax, and I'm going to be right back on with Aaron. Thank you for having me on. Yeah, no, thanks for coming on. You're Aaron Canada, and that is your real name, even though it sounds like a fake name. Like, you know. Right, yeah, it sounds like a stage name, right? Yeah, I would be like, why, if you said, oh, I'm going to use this fake name, Aaron Canada, I'd be like, please don't make your last name a country.

I mean, that's so dumb. Okay, anyway. So, Erin, I found you because you emailed me a link to a short film, right? It's a short, right? That you made on erectile dysfunction. Now, I talk a lot about PE, right? Which is premature ejaculation. But what you're talking about on your short film and what you have experience about, which is another problem that guys have is getting it up, keeping it up, that kind of issue, right? And it can be, there's a lot. There's a lot of all ranges in that issue, right? I had a guy on who has, because of diabetes. I mean, he hasn't had an erection in years. You know, it can be that extreme, right? And it can be less extreme. Right. Yeah. And, you know, diabetes is a big one. Yeah. Because from my understanding, you know, basically what happens is over time, the blood vessels just start to degrade and tear apart. And I mean, you know, when you have bad, bad vessels, you know, you have bad blood flow. And the one thing you need,

to rise to the occasion is good blood flow. So yeah, it can have varying levels of severity, but it's extremely common for a whole host of reasons. And that's what I was trying to get across most in the short is like, look, if you think you're the only one, you're certainly not. Yeah, well, we'll see how many downloads this episode gets, right? That's how I always know, you know. And so why don't you explain?

Because you have a personal experience with us, right? And then, because you have it or had it, I'm assuming maybe you cured it. Like, I mean, tell me your story. Yeah, so it's still an ongoing process. So I first noticed the problem when I was about 17. And it's something that I'll never forget because it was that, like, it's just an indelible memory that's going to stick with you forever. So I was hanging with one of my, you know, with my best friend at the time. and we went to hang out with his girlfriend after her prom,

and why he didn't go with her to her prom is a whole different story. We were hanging with them, and she had a friend over, and, you know, one thing led to another. We went back to my house because my mom was out of town, and then again, one thing led to another, and this, you know, this friend and I went upstairs, and, you know, with every intention of getting down and dirty, and, you know, she's naked, I'm making on top of her.

I've somehow gotten the condom on, but there's absolutely no erect, like not even half of an erection, just nothing happening there. And that's what I first realized, like, oh, that's strange, that I don't like this. What is going on here? And then it just kept kind of happening. And, I mean, the definition of erectile this function is the inability to get and maintain an erection for any kind of intimacy, but mostly with intercourse is when it's usually the most difficult. Right.

And that's what I, what I noticed over, you know, the next couple of years and didn't really understand what was going on. But, you know, with partners, I would either not be able to get an erection or, you know, I would get one, but I wouldn't be able to maintain it all that long. And so still kind of dealing with it to this day. There's so many great treatment options out there that I've been able to live, you know, a fairly, quote-unquote, normal sex life. But it's, it is something that I will most like.

have to deal with for the rest of my life. What was the reason for your dysfunction? Is it, was it, you know, because there's all different kinds of reasons for it. Can you list those and then tell me like your experience? Right. Yeah. So there's, usually it's physical. Actually, one thing that I try to tell everybody and anybody that asked me about the topic is

if you're experiencing erectile dysfunction, you need to at least, at the very least, go get your heart checked out. Right. Because erectile dysfunction is a red flag. morning for cardiovascular disease. So when you first notice erectile dysfunction within three to five years, there's about a 50-50 chance that you'll experience your first major heart episode, whether it's angina, a heart attack, a stroke.

So if you're experiencing ED and you're just now noticing it, go get your heart checked out at the very least. But, you know, other things, like you said, diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol. all. I mean, really, anything that affects your heart, anything that affects blood flow is first going to affect your penis. And then there's also, you know, psychosomatic, psychological issues. My personal one is anxiety. Right. Still, you know, from my earliest memories, I've had anxiety and it's never gone away. It's generalized anxiety disorder. So basically you're on edge all day, every day, at all time. and it's basically, you know, what anxiety is,

your body is just flooding with adrenaline. Your body is saying, all right, something is wrong. There's danger somewhere. We've either got to run or we've got to fight. And so adrenaline is the fight or flight hormone. And as Paul Nelson in the film, as he puts it, you know, you can't run or fight with a raging boner. And so that, I think, is what my main issue is,

is just anxiety is keeping me from performing the way that I'd like to. So it is, you know, if I'm able to get this anxiety figured out, if I'm able to quell it and, and get it taken away, I might have a shot at not having to use treatments to get an erection. But thankfully, there are treatments out there for every level of severity. And what they like to say at May's sexual and reproductive health up in New York, who's been working with us almost exclusively on these projects, is, you know, if you have a penis, We can get you an erection. Even after you're dead, we can get you an erection.

So there's hope for guys no matter what. No, I love the guy in New York City. He was a doctor. I forgot his name. He was in New York doctor. And he was like, you know, there's hope for every single person out there. And I love that. And I'm sorry, but like as a person who has had anxiety in my life, I'm a lot older than you.

100,000 percent you could get that anxiety, you know, in your past under control. Totally. It's doable. People have done it before you could do it. You just have to believe that you can. And then that would, you know, fix that issue for you because yours is not a physical issue, right? So there's no way that you can't 100% fix your issue. I think that everybody's issues are different, right?

But when it comes to, you know, a psychosomatic one, and if it's something like you said with anxiety and stuff, you just have to conquer that. And that has been conquered by millions of people before you, you know, for sure, whether it's medication or. or through doing the things of trying to figure out where that's coming from, you know? Yeah, and that's one of the things that we're going to be focusing on in the feature-length version that we're making now about sexual dysfunction in general in men and women. It's trying to find a way that I can get past this anxiety so I can at least, you know, not have, or at least try not to have erectile dysfunction anymore.

So it's, you know, for the guy that it's psychosomatic. Like, I mean, what do they say for you? Like, do they say, you know, oh, go on medication? for your anxiety? Did you ever try that? See, yeah, I do take, you know, a once daily thing, and as far as I know, that that cuts the anxiety somewhat. But like you said, it's just a matter of finding the thing that works for you and believing that you can fix it. So, yeah, no that's definitely the way to look at it for this upcoming feature length. There's like, no half measures, we're going all in no matter what to figure this thing out.

But let me ask you this, when you're solo pleasing yourself, right? Is there an issue, and it's only with your partner, or is there also an issue then? So now that I'm getting a little bit older, I am noticing that when I am solo, it is still a little bit difficult. When I was younger, being solo, it was no problem. It was only when I was in the presence of someone else, and we both had kind of the same goal. That's when, you know, I wouldn't be able to perform as I would have liked. But yeah, so there's usually not, it's usually achievable is what I'll say. But I mean, now that, you know, I've got the treatments like sylennephyl.

Generic syldenafil is amazing. And so if I am ever having issues, whether it's with a partner or by myself, you know, that little magic pill definitely comes in handy. Right. And are you in a relationship now? How old are you, by the way? Because you keep saying when you were younger, like, how old are you now? So I'm 37. Okay. And are you married? Are you in a relationship?

Just recently got engaged, actually. Oh, okay. Congratulations. So how long have you been with your partner? So she and I've been together. Not long. It's funny that you say like when you find your soulmate, you know it right away. You know it's the right one. Like that's exactly how it was. We met late August of last year. And within a couple of months, like we were both. both like, yeah, this is, this is it. This is what we can go with. Because she hasn't had too many relationships. I've had many, many.

And so it was great that we were both coming from opposite sides of the spectrum. And we could both tell like, yeah, no, this is, this is it. Yeah, I believe in that. I think, you know, listen, everyone's story is very different. I've heard them all and I've heard them all be successful with different kinds of starts and they're all become unsuccessful with different kinds of starts. You know what I mean? It doesn't really matter.

And I think the older you get the quicker you know, it doesn't take as long. You know what I mean? So, you know, life's short. Like, why not? You know what I mean? I think it's great, especially for her that she found, you know, being not a relationship person, right? And not, you know, found somebody who is, right?

And you have that. So that's like a good anchor for her, right? And maybe that's what she always needed. And you'll help her along to stay in that. So that's great. And so now has she been, are you okay with her? like as far as intimacy goes and how do you bring it up with your partner? So that is another major story.

That is probably going to be the biggest storyline of the upcoming film that we're making about male and female sexual dysfunction. Yeah. She has what we haven't sought diagnosis yet, but based on my own research and the people I've talked to, we are almost 100% certain that she has what's called primary vaginismis, which is an involuntary contracting of the muscles in the vaginal walls that makes penetration nearly, if not entirely impossible. So if you can believe it, I'm engaged to this person and we've not yet had intercourse.

Oh, I could believe it. Yeah. Because you were like you guys smelled each other from a mile away. Like how perfect. You know, for those two people to come together and you could like, you know, try to conquer, but you're both, you know, trying to conquer things. Right. And yeah, we've been pretty open with each other from the beginning, you know.

We're both filmmakers. We met on a film set. And so I had told her about my short on our first date and what it was all about. So, and that's something that guys with the ED need to know. Like, if you talk about it up front, if you let your prospective romantic partner know about things right up front, like you can definitely get past it a lot quicker and work with it as opposed to trying to hide. It's like with anything. If you try to hide it, if you try to, you know, work your way around it, it's not going to

go as well as you'd like. Just be open and honest with with your partner from the beginning. Who was more, who was open and honest first? You or her? Oh, totally me. Having, having made a film about it where I'm on camera saying, hi. Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, I, I talk to

anybody I can about sex, sexual dysfunction, sex and sexuality in general. I mean, I work at a sex shop down here in Orlando. Oh, really? It's my favorite, yeah, it's my favorite thing to talk about. So, yeah, I was, I was definitely more open. Right. And,

And she then admitted to you, because it wasn't like something that she recently discovered. Like this was something that she also had as an issue. So she was probably like so happy. Maybe that's why she wasn't in a lot of relationships. I would assume, you know, we've had discussions about it, especially considering that it's going to be, you know, part of the film. But yeah, it's no penetration possible. Even something as small as a finger is impossible and creates excruciating pain. for her. So she talked about it to the best that she could without really knowing much about it.

And then when I started researching for this upcoming film, I started researching female sexual dysfunction because I figured that's probably the next step, the next logical step to make. Yeah, I've got all this information about male sexual dysfunction. But if we're going to, if we're going to reach everybody, we've got to acknowledge that it's not, obviously it's not just men, but we've got to let people know, like, female sexual dysfunction, isn't talked about nearly as much as male sexual dysfunction, and they tend to experience it more often than men, or at least they self-report. Right. Depending on the surveys and the studies, you'll find that women self-report about 40 to 45 percent

have some kind of sexual dysfunction. Men at about 30 to 35 percent. But since those are solely survey-based, you know, those numbers are probably much, much higher. Of course, yeah. And maybe, and same thing, like with the, the erectile dysfunction that you talk about. Like, I mean, what she has is very extreme, right?

But there's probably a lot of other, you know, sexual dysfunction that women have that isn't that extreme, right? But that definitely plagues women. Right. Yeah. And so one of the doctors we've been working with in interviewing is named Dr. Bethevah Marcus. She wrote a great book called Sex Points, where she actually breaks down female sexual dysfunction into four

quadrants. There's pain disorders, orgasm disorders, arousal disorders, and desire disorders. And, you know, if you have some kind of sexual dysfunction, you're going to fall into one of those general categories. So it's, the great thing about sexual dysfunction, if there is a great thing, is once you, once you can at least admit to yourself that, okay, something might be wrong here. Yeah. The diagnosis and treatment are readily available. Right. readily available out there for you and most of them most of them are are highly treatable now with your girl right has is what is the solution for her problem is is her problem highly treatable I'm assuming not because you guys still haven't had sex well so it is

but we haven't we haven't really you know and I hate to say that that the cost of health care is prohibitive but it kind of is um And so that's why we're hoping. Yeah. So that's why we're hoping with this film we can gain access at least some discount access, or hopefully there's somebody out there who's willing to donate their services. Because treatment for it is fairly simple. What is it?

At the most extreme. So basically it's all about using a series of dilators. Right. So basically, you know, you have the smallest one that's about the thickness of your pinky. You put that in, wear it for about. 10 minutes or so and you focus you focus on relaxing and relaxing the muscles in your vaginal walls away from the dilator yeah and so you know you do that every day and then you can graduate to the next largest and the next largest and the next largest and the next largest

and in the most extreme cases what they'll do they call they call these people table jumpers like even the the sheer thought of having anything near their vaginal opening to be inserted causes them to jump off the table and just hyperventilate. So in the most extreme cases, what they'll do is they'll put the patient under general anesthesia and then a series of Botox injections inside the vaginal wall along with lytocaine injections. And then once the muscles relax, they insert the largest dilator they have. And so when the patient comes out of general anesthesia, their first realization is, oh, my God, there's something in there. there's something in there, but it's very big and it doesn't hurt.

And that right there is a great way to kickstart the ongoing process of then treating it, you know, gradually with the dilators over time. That first realization that this is not impossible, usually for the patients that undergo that treatment is hugely beneficial. Right. Because it's in your head as one thing and they're trying to change that. Right. And it's like you were talking about, like once you see, once you,

see that there is a solution. You know, there's no, there's no half measures. There's no trying. It's like, okay, no, there is a solution. This is possible. Let's just, let's keep working at it. Let's do it. Right. So those dilators, are they expensive? Not prohibitively so. We've got some of the store that I work at. I can't remember the exact price, but it's around $30,

just depending on how many dilators. So you haven't dilated? No, not yet. We're not. So we're, she until well until I found out about this until I found out about the treatments we didn't really know what to do and then once I found out about it being the the the forward thinking filmmaker that I am I thought okay we need we shouldn't do anything until until we start filming at that point at that at that point what we can do is not only you know take her through the process and help her get get through it as well and we can also get it on camera so we can show the process from start to

finish. Right. So other people dealing with with this can also see like, oh, you know, here's where she's at and here's where she's going and this can be done. If she can do it, I can do it. And how old is she? She is 27. She's 27.

And this is something that's plagued her whole life. Has she ever had sex? No. No. Oh, interesting. Really, she met the right guy. I mean, I'm telling you, I don't think that these things happen by coincidence. Oh, yeah, no doubt.

Like, it just, it, it seems. And so my co-producer also is dealing with erectile dysfunction from prostate cancer treatment. So the fact that the three of us just all came together, I've known my co-producer for seven years, you know, and that's my fiance last year. And the fact that we all came together, we all have this, we all make film. It just seems like everything, the perfect confluence of events are coming together to make this a reality. Right. And that's what you guys are here for, really, right?

It's your calling. And, you know, thank God that, you know, your girl, met somebody like you and you met somebody like her, right? Because that's a safe place for a relationship. She probably wouldn't have been able to have a relationship with a guy that was pushing her into it, right? And for you, maybe it was always hard to commit to somebody as well, right? That was putting pressure on you to perform normally right now today, you know?

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. My biggest issue with relationships is more just I'm very difficult to, well, I don't want to say I'm difficult to please, but I know when it's right and I know when it's not. Right. And so it wasn't really a fear of commitment. It was fear of committing to somebody I knew wasn't right.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm not saying fear of committing. I'm saying fear of like, you know, the intimacy aspect to a relationship with a girl who doesn't have the issue that she has that wants to fuck you every day. You know what I mean? Like being in every relationship, everyone's like rabbits. You know, they're doing it all the time. There's that chemistry. And I would assume it would be, you know, there would be some fear attached to going into a relationship with.

the woman who has a normal sex drive because you're going to have to show up and perform every time. Absolutely. So somebody like this, you don't even have to perform really. You know, it just puts that, it takes away all the pressure and I think that that's great.

That's why I get why, I mean, I totally get why you would, you guys would, you know, be like, this is, this is, this is where I want to hang my hat. Right. And it's, I'll tell you, as someone with sexual dysfunction as a male with sexual dysfunction is very frustrating to have to have a partner say well I'm the guy in this relationship because I want sex more than you do it's like no no no let let let's talk about this

because yeah but you know from my experience women like sex more than men if not equally than more um and so you know that that was another aspect to it it's like okay no let's let's let's dial this back a little bit but also you know the the sexual dysfunction aspect of it like it's not just if you're on a treatment it's not spontaneous you know, it's something you've got to plan. And so when your partner is ready to go at a moment's notice and you've got to take 10, 20, 30 minutes to wait for a treatment to kick in, that can start getting real frustrating real fast.

Yeah, I found it interesting in that movie. I mean, I'm going to put all the links to, you know, your short below. I thought it was fascinating. Anybody with this problem should go and watch it. I thought it was great that you had those doctors and they're all over the country, right, because someone could actually reach out to them. And, you know, I love the guy in New York City. I live, because I live in New York and I was like, oh, who do I know that I could send this guy's name?

You know, he's like, this is what he specializes in, right? But there was one kind of treatment that it goes right in, right? Are those the injections? Yeah, so the interchabernocial injections. Yeah, it was about a 10-minute turnaround. I've actually, as part of the upcoming film, I actually got, on film, I got, you know, me experiencing the, the injection. Oh.

And so it takes, it can take anywhere from five to ten minutes. Now, the thing to remember about intercavernosal injections, and we're getting a little deep here on this treatment, but there's a thing called bimix and there's a thing called trimix. And bimix is just, you know, simply a combination of two vasodilators.

Trimix is a combination of three. The trimix is, you know, there's, there's no chance. Well, I don't want to say there's no chance it doesn't work, but it's more likely to work than the bymix, where the bymix requires some kind of stimulation, some kind of outside arousal, the trimics doesn't need that. It's going to happen a matter of a while.

It's coming up. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. But, you know, what we found is when we filmed, you know, be getting this injection with the bimix,

excuse me, I noticed it was, it was relaxing. It was filling with blood a bit, but it wasn't coming up. And it's because, you know, anxiety plus, you know, the nerves of being on camera and having a camera pointed right

at your dick waiting for it to go up. But yeah, no, I mean, with at least the trimix, the injections, like five to ten minutes that's coming up. That's actually, surprisingly enough, I found out, that's actually what a lot of porn stars use to keep it up, is the trimex. Yeah. So they'll take the shot, depending on, you know, their abilities to get it up in front of a crowd and on camera. How it's explained to me is, you know, they'll get it up. They'll film the

come shot first. And then they'll take the injection so they can get it up and film the rest of the scene. Because, you know, a 30-minute scene is going to take you a lot more than 30 minutes to film. And they've got to find a way to keep it up somehow. And so the injections are what they prime, what I understand what they use primarily to help them stay, stay up and ready. And so you have another film or like, is this short just a teaser? for your full length? So the short, so initially when I thought about making the film about erectile dysfunction, I wanted to be a feature length, but, you know, lack of resources.

I was in film school at the time as well, so lack of time. I was, the first step was to make it into a short just to get it out there. But the goal has always been to make a feature. But then, you know, over the course of the research and ramping up for the feature, you know, when I found out about, you know, how female sexual dysfunction is just as prevalent, has just as many issues, it was a natural progression to go from just a rectal dysfunction into, you know, all sexual dysfunction in general. And do a documentary about that.

Exactly. Yeah. So the initial goal was to make a feature from the beginning. Right. So you guys are in the process now of doing that. I guess you would call it a documentary. right about sexual dysfunction for both men and women and that short is just like a teaser because I know that you did say you were going to do like a you're looking for financial help

right through crowdfunding or something right yeah so we're uh we're launching a Kickstarter the the intended date of launch is August 17th on Kickstarter um and I mean at the end of the day like anybody who makes films will tell you unless you've got um a lot of a lot of friends who are willing to work for free and a lot of people who have equipment that are willing to let you work for free, you're going to need money. And I mean, the biggest thing, we've got a very small crew. We don't need much and we've got all the equipment that we need for the most part, but traveling to get the interviews that we need and also getting the money for the treatments that we're all going to need so we can get that on camera and show people, you know, the process and how it can be

done, that's going to require not a huge ton of money. Like, we're definitely not a million production, but, you know, upwards of $60, $80,000 is what we're looking at. So what, right? So when you do a Kickstarter, do you put a certain amount, right? So what are you, right? Is that how it works? That you have to put it like a certain amount of your goal. And then if you reach that, you get that.

Is it 80? Is that what you're looking for? So we're still not settled on a goal. Because the fear is, you know, you set a goal and then you don't hit it and it's an all or nothing thing. So either you hit your goal or you get nothing. So we're trying to figure out just based off of, you know, who we talk to here in the lead-up, what we think we can get from them and also what we think, you know, we can get just from

the people that we reach out to you over the course of the month. That'll kind of dictate what we set our goal as. But regardless of what we get, it's going to give us some breathing room and help us move this thing along. And if we don't get everything that we need, you know, roll with the punches, find another place for the money to come from until we can get this thing done. Right. And now you're short, right?

Where can people find it? I'll include the link below, but also just give the, like, the destination here. Yeah, so I just hosted on a Vimeo page that I have. And I've got the link, like on my Instagram, I've got a link in my bio there. That's honestly, for me, that's the best way for people to find me is on Instagram, just because that's where I primarily just do film-related stuff and also, you know, sexual health-related stuff. I'm always like sending stuff up on my story all the time about sexual health.

And I'm getting a lot of people I didn't expect reaching out to me and saying thank you for putting this out. Right. So that's, I'd say Instagram is definitely the best place to go. And again, I've got the link to the Vimeo there in my bio. And what's your Instagram? So it's, I'll spell it out. So it's O-H-H-E-Y-N-C-A-N-C-A-N-A-KID.

So, Oh, hey, Canada. Oh, hey, Canada. Okay, I'll put the link below. So oh h underscore h e y underscore canada Okay So people can find you there but we're not done Okay I just wanted to give the shout out So yeah it's great

I mean like I always say I would do my show because I really do like Helping people right so when you do hear from people when you put something out And it really is reaching the right people You know there's nothing better than that And I think you know that's that's great like you said There a lot of people like a huge amount of people report that they have these issues, but imagine if really everybody did how much larger that number would be, right? So let me ask you this. As far as your girlfriend, she wasn't

it. So the new thing that you're getting the Kickstarter for, that's going to be both for women and men. Correct. Yeah. Yeah, I think that that's awesome. Now, listen, I had you on my show because I think it is a very important short film. I think in your short film, you have so much information on it. It stands alone. I feel like it's such a great start if anybody has. Do you call it a rectile dysfunction? Am I calling it correctly? Is that the name? Yeah.

Yeah, just a rectile dysfunction. Yeah, if anyone has that, they should look at your shirt because I think there's so much great information as well as experts out there that people could contact for information if they want to help you along with your Kickstarter. I don't know when I'm going to air this, but I'll air it around you. It's mid-August, right? You're going to be doing that Kickstarter? Yep.

We're aiming for an August 17th start. start date. So with anybody, you know, anybody's listening who does have, you know, some kind of sexual dysfunction, the thing to remember is, and this is something I didn't really realize until fairly recently when we were filming interviews and doing research is doctors, despite how, you know, educated they are and how used to all this they should be, doctors are still human. And, you know, here in America, they're still Americans. And so they're just as squeamish talking about sex as most people are. So if you are having sexual dysfunction and you go in to see your doctor and you're not getting,

you're not satisfied with the treatment that you're getting because they're not as fully invested in getting you better as you are, find another doctor. Totally. Don't stop until you find somebody who's 100% committed to being open and honest with you and helping you figure this thing out. Because, you know, at the end of the day, as with everything, you have to be your own advocate. So advocate for yourself until you've found the solution and you're happy with it. Yeah, it needs to be somebody who really specializes in that, right? I mean, if you just go to your,

you know, I would think a urologist is the right start, right? Maybe, but a lot of these doctors have blinders on, you know, they went to, they studied, they got their degree and, you know, they know the basics and that's it, right? But like the people that you have on, those doctors, like this is, it's more their specialty, right? So they're really experts in that. exact thing. Right. Yeah, urologists, but even, you know, even urologists, even people who specialize in this, they're still a little, a little iffy about talking about sexual health, you know. It is, you know, for the, like, for the most part, it does tend to be a physical issue and so they'll attack that, but they won't really talk about the emotional side of it,

or, you know, they won't talk to you about the quality of your sex life pertaining to your sexual dysfunction. So it's almost like you have to find a doctor slash therapist. Like somebody who's got the medical background and the experience and the education, but they're also in tune with the emotional side of things like a licensed mental health counselor would be. That's sometimes a little difficult to find. Yeah, that's a harder thing to find, right? I know that I told you I had a guest on recently. He taped again.

I haven't aired it yet, but he was on recently and he was the guy with diabetes who has an edurrection. But he told me he had one recently and he didn't know how it happened. but I was like that's like your fucking hope right there. Like if it happened once, it could happen. You know, and then when after I watch your short, I send it to him. I'm like, please contact one of these doctors in the film. Right. Yeah.

And that's amazing that you sent that to him and told him to reach out because that was the goal. It's like, all right, if you've got this, first off, know that you're not alone. Second, know that it's treatable and there are people to talk to. And Mays Sexual and Reproductive Health in New York, they're the only clinic in the country that combines medical staff with mental health staff. Like when you go in for a consultation for, yeah. Yeah, they're the only ones where it's required that you see an actual doctor for the physical side. And you also see a therapist for the emotional side in combination.

Yeah, I love that guy. I told you, like he was no, there was no try, you can, you might. It was like every single guy you come in, we will get you an erection. I mean, he didn't, he wasn't promising miracles. He's, you know, he knows the facts. and he's the real deal. And that's why I was like, when I sent it, I was like, oh, my God, this is so great. Because it really does.

Like I said, you did the work for people, right? You found the guys out there that really know what they're talking about and don't have a problem talking to people about it. And nowadays, because of COVID, everyone, you know, there's so much telehealth, telemedicine is just like all the rage. So everyone has that capability now. So people that have that issue and that problem, they don't have to go and spend five hours. I mean, it could spend me days trying to find the right expert that I'm looking for, right?

or not weeks, months, you have a couple experts in there, right, for people that, you know, for people with this problem to reach out to. And I think that that's great because that's the kind of information that people are looking for and that I would be looking for in a short like that or, you know, a documentary, like, who could I reach out to? And I think that the guys that you had there were great. And that's a great start, you know? And also, anybody who's listening to this, who is dealing with erectile dysfunction and is

looking for a community, a group of people who know exactly what you're going through. First off, Facebook is not your friend. I'm a part of a couple of Facebook groups dedicated solely to erectile dysfunction, and let me tell you, they're frustrating. Oh, interesting. But if you are looking for a community, yeah, oh, man, there's so much misinformation there. Yeah. If you are looking for a community, though, there's Paul from the documentary, his website is

franktalk.org, F-R-A-N-K-T-A-L-K-R. that is a totally anonymous member site. It's free to sign up. It's free to be a part of it. There's a full discussion board with tens of thousands of other guys who are dealing with the same thing that you are. That's awesome. That is a great place to start is to go just read the discussions and find the people who are dealing with the same thing you are and go from there. Like, emotional support is such a huge thing no matter what it is you're dealing with.

And the fact that, you know, they've got this community out there. One of the frustrating things is like, you know, no matter what illness you have, you're going to find a wealth of support groups, whether it's online, whether it's in person. A rectal dysfunction and sexual dysfunction in general is not that. So the fact that there's at least one reputable, large online community out there that you can interact with and get help from is really encouraging. And how smart that they made it anonymous. Like, I think the worst thing would be on Facebook. Like you're all, you know, who's going to do it on Facebook? I don't know.

I think that would be really hard for some people, right? Because Facebook is like exactly who you are. It's got your name. It's got your picture. And then you're going to go and it's going to show up that you're evolved in this group. And probably a lot of people, you know, maybe wouldn't want to put that out there. But I think it's great that they made it anonymous, right? So people could go to this guy's blog.

I'm going to put a link to that as well. And people could sign up anonymously and get the support and the help. Because I think that's always half the battle, right? is just knowing that you're not alone and knowing that there's other guys out there like you. And like you said, there's tens of thousands on that website, right? Absolutely. Yeah, that's amazing. And that's what people should go and watch your film.

They could go to that blog and then they could find, you know, and could they email you as far? Like, do people, could they contact you? I guess they could DM you on Instagram. I'll put your Instagram link too if anyone wants to talk to you. For sure. Yeah, shoot me a DM on Instagram. So people could go. I'm going to put the link.

Last thing I'm going to say again is Zee could go see your short. and the link below, they should contact you or find everything you have to say on your Instagram. That link will be below. And if they want to donate for your upcoming project, they should go to Kickstarter. And I'll include that link as well below. Absolutely. Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks so much for coming on and being so honest about all your stuff.

Like, I mean, I feel like maybe I pushed you to give me all the details about you and your girl. But that's what's going to be on the next, on your full length, right? So it's just, it's not like something that people don't know. Yeah, no, it's definitely something that we're going to have. out there in the open. So talking about, actually, this is, this is great, it's a great practice for, for how we're going to have to be open and honest about it. So, yeah, I wish I, I had her on and you on together. I wish I could have talked to her. Um, but, you know, it's, it's, it is what it is, but I'm, you know, that's great that you were so honest about it. Yeah. And I, I'm so appreciative of you for,

for having me on here just to kind of spread the message. And also, you know, to get the word out about what we're trying to do with the, the next effort and the crowdfunding. But, At the end of the day, it's all about spreading the information out to as many people as we can find. Because like you said, the worst thing about going through anything like this or anything similar is feeling like you're the only one. Like you don't have anybody who knows what you're going through. So yeah, at the end of the day, the more that we can spread this out there to let people know that they're not alone. There are treatment options. There is hope that the better.

Listen, I don't know that you need, you're going to do the full length and it's going to be a lot more information. but there's a ton of information. It's such a great short. It gives you all the information that you need, as well as experts for people to reach out. And I think it's a really important topic. And I love helping people. That's why I do my show.

And I really believe that this episode, and you will help people. So I'm so glad that you called in. I think you're short, you know, it's not just full of interesting stuff. It's done well. So people will go check it out. And thanks so much for coming on.

And the right people who need to find this episode will. Absolutely. And again, Thank you so much for having me on. And since now that I'm thinking about it, your episode with Dr. Joe Cort. Yes. Amazing. I love him.

Everything he was saying. I'm nodding my head emphatically at everything he's saying. Like that was such a great episode. But that's where you need to go. You know, I talked to somebody off air the other day and they were looking for somebody because they were dealing with some sexual stuff, you know, like in their head. And, you know, he has a whole practice of people and that's what they deal with. You know, it's not just a therapist.

it's a therapist who is dealing with sexuality, right? I mean, that's what he specializes. He doesn't talk to people anymore, but he has a whole staff of people who do. And I would think because he's a smart guy that he has people on staff that really help people. So maybe you and your girl look into that place for therapy, for future therapy for you guys. But yeah, the way I aired his is the way I'll air you guys. It's a bonus episode. You know, my regular episodes that I air on Sundays are typically more like along the lines of like the, you know, the people's stories.

But like stuff like this that I believe. really helps people and I love to use my platform to promote things like this. Like I always air them as bonus episodes. So this will go out as a bonus episode like his episode because, you know, I think it was very beneficial for people to hear that. And I feel the same way about yours. And I'm glad that you enjoy Dr. Quartz because can you believe what he had to say? People should go listen to that episode too.

It's like he was amazing. Oh, it was so good. And he's probably somebody like, because I asked, I mentioned him to Paul, because we're working with Paul pretty heavily on this upcoming film as well. And he's like, oh yeah, I know. I know Dr. Joe. He's amazing.

I'm like, okay, cool. We're going to reach out to him as well. We need to talk to him as well. Yeah, get him on your fucking shit, on your next project. So, yeah, keep me posted if he works with you or let me know when that's done. But everyone go and support your Kickstarter.

And thanks so much for coming on. Oh, thank you for having me, Kathy. This was amazing. Awesome. Thanks, Aaron. Bye. I see you. Hey, everyone.

Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. And I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe.

like and share my videos of strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story.

There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letter. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it.

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