Strictly Anonymous Confessions - BONUS EPISODE: 420 - Caroline is In a Long Term Relationship and She Recently Started Cheating

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

Caroline is in a long term relationship and recently started cheating. Why did she start cheating? Who is she cheating with? And, does she feel guilty that she cheats? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how her first husband cheated on her and how she felt about it, her specific needs both in and out of the bedroom that aren't being met, how her age and her horny-ness play a big part in their disconnect, how and why they've both changed and how they might be growing apart, what's keeping her in the relationship and what are the reasons she might want out, how she might subconsciously be sabotaging the relationship, advice on how to move forward and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcasts. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore, or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. With real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with

Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. Today I am talking to Caroline. Caroline is a cheater. That's the title, right? And what's interesting, listen, Caroline's story is a common story. But typically I'm talking to the guy who has this story, right? It's a long-term relationship. The sex has gone stale and there's no spark. So the guy goes looking somewhere else. Well, here's that same story, but it's the woman who is complaining about the sex going stale and there is no spark. And she really needs more and he's not giving it. So she went in straight. And she explains why. We talk about whether she's having other issues in that relationship. who she's cheating on him with, which is kind of interesting. And what she could do about it or what, you know, we talk a lot about her relationship issues. And like I said, I think it's a very common problem that a lot of people who have been either married for a long time or in a relationship for a very long time face at some point.

A lot of people think this is, you know, strictly, you know, happens to men. But absolutely not. It happens to women too. Women do cheat, okay, for the same reasons that men do. And she's super honest about what's going on with her and why she's doing what she's doing and what she's doing. And we talk all about it. And I feel like I give her some good advice. And like I said, she's super open.

And I'm going to have to get an update on where she's at now. But you're going to get all the information of where she is when I spoke with her, which was a couple of months ago. But anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Caroline. How are you today? I'm good. I'm good. Well, listen, Caroline, you wrote in and you're like, oh, I've been sleeping with the best man and my wedding behind my husband's back, right?

And I'm like, well, did you just fuck them once or is this like an ongoing thing? You're like, oh, it just happened, but you've cheated before, right? So I was like, yeah, come on because I think the cheating woman is somebody that everybody always wants to hear from. Or, I mean, they hate it, her. But I think it's an interesting topic because I'm typically talking to men. who are cheating. Right. And it's not my husband. Oh, okay. So who is he? I don't understand. Okay. So I'm divorced. Yeah. From the best man was, he was the best man in our wedding,

but we are now divorced. You're cheating on the second husband with the first husband's friend. But I'm not remarried. I just have a boyfriend. Oh, okay. So it's a boyfriend. Okay. So you're cheated on your first husband or is this the first guy you're cheating on? No, first time. So what happened? And why did that, why cheat now? I don't know. I wish I had a better answer. But do you mean you don't know?

Well, I think that I got into my 40s. I think it's like in my prime. Mm-hmm. You're really horny? Yes. Right. And the boyfriend, we've just gotten a little comfy, too comfy. And he is older than I am, not tons, but he is 50.

Yeah. And I think he's like past his prime. Mm-hmm. And I don't know, repeated attempts to say, this is what I need. This is what I need. And then it doesn't happen. Yeah, it's interesting because that's, you know, I've heard that same kind of story from guys, right? And I'm always like, you can't sort of put every cheater in the same category, right?

Because there are some guys or females, right, who are basically monogamous people, but have put in a position where over a long period of time, they're not getting what they want. and they're communicating, communicating, communicating, but nothing is done, boom, that person might cheat too, right? But let me ask you this, because I definitely think, I mean, I'm in my 50s now, but I was in my 40s, and I know that, like, once you hit 40 or even a little bit before then, you do start, a woman does get hornier than ever, right? It's like your last hurrah. Those eggs are like, go out and get fucked all the time, right?

Those are your last chance to have babies. I don't know what it is. When I was 40, I was fucking a 25-year-old from my gym, okay? So I get it. But I wasn't, you know, dating anyone. But like, what was going on in your relationship with your guy as far as sex that wasn't going happening? Was it like it wasn't happening anymore because you've been with each other for eight years? How long ago did you start cheating on him?

Well, this has only been a couple months. Okay. So this is the first time you cheat on him? Is it a couple months ago? Yes. Okay. Yes. And that was just like a one-time deal.

Mm-hmm. Just an opportunity arose. But then the best man, we're going to call him Tuesday. Yeah. Ran into him at like a local bar. I hadn't seen him in a long time. And after I got divorced and then he got divorced, everybody kind of had a falling out. So we didn't really talk anymore.

And it had really been years since I had talked to him. But him and I were friends long before I even met my ex-husband. Like we were friends when we were younger. I've just been around him forever. So ran into him one night, talking, catching up, asking about the kids. And then it just kept going and kept going and it came over. But, I mean, how did you feel afterwards?

Did you feel guilty? Who, yes and no. Right. Yes, of course I did. Yes, I felt guilty about it. But, boy, I felt really good about everything he was able to do for me. So do you love your boyfriend that you're with? Yes.

yes I do yeah that's like a weird answer I know I mean like what is it maybe or like you do love him but it's not your relationship isn't in a good place right now I mean why the hesitation and I think that's yes

I love him and I I absolutely love his family I may love his family more than I love him which is crazy because my president's family was horrible and he the boyfriend his family is huge and I just I love them all.

They're a fun family. You know, we do a lot of things together and I think that I don't have parents anymore so I think that's fun. Right. And you latch on to that. And he has some really good qualities. I just think that I'm at a point in my life when I've said explicitly to him, here's what I need, here's what I need.

And then the needs aren't being met. What are your needs have you told him? What are the needs that you've told him? told him that you need, that he has given you. I need to have more sex. I need him to try harder. And what does he say about the more? So does he just like, it's like how many times were you banging?

Like, say in a week or in a month? Maybe two, three in a week. Oh, okay. But you wanted it like every day? Well, I don't need it every day, but I need more attention paid to me. In the bedroom or even not in the bedroom? Yeah. No, not.

Nope. just in the bedroom, I'm pretty, I'm pretty self-sufficient. Right. So you guys would fuck two to three times a week, but it wasn't like, it was just like, he just got on top of you, fucked you and that was it? I mean, and you needed like longer. Yeah, I get that, right? I mean, you've been dating five, eight years. Yeah. Who's trying to spice it up? Did you try? I know you said that you tried a lot of different things, you know, I mean, it's one thing to just say, hey, I need more. But like, did you ever try to initiate more by doing different things, like getting toys out?

I don't know. You know what I mean, right? I've done all that stuff. I think that I'm just kind of at the point now like, okay, I did this. I did this. I did that. So you did try those things. I mean, you did try to initiate and get it to be more interesting by bringing in different things or whatever, right?

Oh, yeah. And we used to have an awesome sex life. Awesome. But she was younger then. Mm-hmm. And I'm not saying it wasn't like I wasn't into it initially. I was, but my daughter was a little bit younger at the time. And, you know, still living at home made a big difference for how often and when you can do things.

Right. But now we're the perfect place. You know, nobody has kids at home. Yeah. Both own our own homes. This would be the perfect time to do all the fun stuff and nothing. And not nothing, right? No, but that's like kind of bad timing, right?

Maybe, I mean, I don't know. Is there any chance that he could be cheating? I've asked. I don't know. I don't know. You asked? I don't think so. I don't think so.

Right. That doesn't mean anything when my first husband cheated on me and it took me a while to figure that one out too. Right. Well, that's what I was going to, I was going to bring that up because I know that, you know, you said that you're, I think the first sentence was like your cheating whore husband or something like that. I just have your email to me. So you still like hate him. But, you know, I think sometimes it's interesting if like you were cheated on, right? And you know how that feels.

And then you're now the cheater. Does it change the way you see your husband maybe? Not the way you would feel. Like I think there's two things that some people would say. They would look at it and say, oh my God, you got cheated on. Then you should feel so guilty cheating. And then somebody else could also say like, hey, you were cheated on and you hated that person. But now maybe can you understand.

understand that sometimes someone cheats and they're not like the most horrible person? Because here you are cheating, right? Just like your ex-husband. You're not a cheating whore person. I'm sure you don't see yourself that way, but you saw him that way. Like, does it make you see, like, hate him less? Or, like, you know what I mean? I mean, he has a, the ex-husband has a problem.

He's done it. The girl he left me for him. He cheated on the next one. I mean, he has a problem. But I think his is more like a game. Right. Get somebody, see who he can fuck on the side, how long he can do it before he gets caught. Right.

It was more like a more complicated and in-depth. So he was like more than just cheating on you. He was like having it like maybe getting too much involved with the girls. Well, and I, him and I still had sex. And I don't know. I couldn't even tell you exactly what went wrong there. I mean, there were other things as well. But I mean, I'm pretty much just thankful he's gone.

Right. But I do think it's interesting. I had a girl on once. I forget what her name was. This was so many years ago. But she had a husband who cheated on her. And then she did go out and cheat on him. And it made her way more accepting of him cheating.

And she really understood because she fell for the guy as well, just like your husband would, right? She did. And she came to realize because she was able to do this that somebody can fully love one person, but go someplace else and do something because that's exactly what she was doing. And I was like, wow, that's such an interesting fucking take, right? And how that she saw it that way and she was more accepting or understanding of it, you know?

So I just, yeah. I can kind of see that. I mean, I'm past being angry with the ex-husband about anything. If I see him, I mean, I can talk to him. It just, it doesn't really matter anymore. You know, I was young when I got with him. I was 18. I mean, I was young.

I had a child. I mean, we lived a lot of years together, and it was, for the most part, fine. Uh-huh. Past the anger of that. But I think I do totally understand the cheating thing more now that I am part of it. Right, that you, like, because I'm assuming, like, it doesn't mean anything. Is there feelings involved for you? I mean

With Tuesday I mean I've known him for so long And we were friends for so long But I know it was It's never going to be Anything he cheated on his life too And I mean it's never going to be

Wait he's married No They're divorced now too So he was a cheater too Before he was Oh he was Okay so he was a cheater Was he because you said he's in the best

Was he in the best man in your wedding because he was friends with you or friends with your husband? Friends with my husband. Okay, but also you knew him too. But I mean, is this someone that you hang out and you talk to a lot outside of the sex? No, no. No, not anymore. Years ago we did, but not anymore.

But now that you're having the sex, I mean, it's not, there's no feelings. It's just like he's just, you're just like using him for sex, right? Or do you have some sort of feelings for him? I'm getting confused. I mean, I think that we're both. using each other for the sex. Well, no, I'm just asking you. Are you just using him for the sex?

Is it just straight up or do you like some sort of attention? Is it gutting like to be like about other things? Oh, I'm not going to lie. I do enjoy the attention. I enjoy the fun banter back and forth. But no, I don't want to be with him. Right. Okay.

Mm-hmm. I don't want to be with him. I just enjoy. I mean, when we. are doing our thing, it's fun. It's fun. And since I've known him for so long, I think it makes it more fun. Right, because you're comfortable and you could really let lose or something.

Yeah. I think it's a slippery slope. You might wind up copying feelings from six months from now. I mean, because this is kind of new. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, March.

Yeah. Yeah. So you never know. I don't know. It'll be interesting because, like, your husband did leave you for some. I mean, I'm just saying, like, you can really kind of, like, look back and be like, this is the way things happen, and this is the way things, you know, there's like Windows opportunities where things change from one thing to another.

I don't know, you know. Right. Oh, we just live in such a small area. I couldn't imagine if the ex-wife, who I used to be really good friends with, if she found out, it would just be terrible. Right. Well, I mean, the chances of people finding out is very high in a, you know, and it's very high. small town. I'm sorry. I don't know. It's like you're not like me living in New York City where there's like

500 people on a you know in a half a block radius. So thousands, you know, I mean, I could not see a, I have a friend who lives a half a block away from me and I've never seen them in a year and she lives right there. Okay. That's New York for you. But you're in a place like you said that's like a very small town. I mean, I, you know, I just, all I'm saying is that the stuff that's going on with you and Tuesday, I have. the perfect ingredients to eventually turn into a full-blown affair. That's all I'm saying. And there's a difference between the guy you bang and you're just using someone for sex

because you can't get fucked in your prime to, you know, you start to be like, oh, I like the banter and we're, you know, they're flirting and I know him, so I feel comfortable, you know, I don't know. I agree. I mean, I feel like the first couple times were at my house, but I live in town. So that seemed like a silly idea. Yeah, his car parked in your driveway, you mean? Well, not in my drive now, but just close enough to my house that everybody knows.

And, you know, of course, we think, oh, nobody's going to see, but you know somebody probably saw it. Whether it was walking back to the car in the morning. So I went out, he lives outside of town. I've been to his house a couple times out there, which of course seems safer. you know everybody with, you know, ring doorbells and stuff like that, you know, just driving by, you know, wonder what she's doing out that way. Oh, right, because they would see you walking out. I don't know. I'm just saying, like, he'd your warning.

I mean, like, are you, I don't know, like, what else would you say about that guy, this guy? He's the main guy. I mean, are you looking for ass someplace else too? Or are you like, oh, this is not the perfect situation I have. I know this guy. he's like your good old faithful, you could just, like, what's your plan? Currently, this is the perfect situation. You know, it's the perfect situation right until I get caught.

But the fact that you say that sentence right there is like the reason why you're going to get caught. Well, I mean, it is risky. I understand that. Is there a chance that you're sabotaging maybe your relationship? I don't know. I don't know. I wonder. You wonder, right?

Because I didn't even finish my sentence and you were like right there. Like, yeah, because that's gone through your head, right? Totally wonder. Yeah, maybe, you know, because maybe, like you said, you're very into his family. And that's why you're holding on. But is there a very strong connection between you guys and every other way as far as your relationship besides the sex? What's going on there? Like with everything else?

We just live there two totally different lives. He works. I mean, we both work, of course, full time. But he's just a very simple man. You know, doesn't need much, doesn't want to do much, doesn't want to go anywhere. And I'm just the total opposite. I go wherever and enjoy my life. And he just doesn't need that.

And I suppose that's fine. But, like, I mean, I went on vacation. with my children and grandkids and, you know, we went to Hawaii and it was wonderful. He didn't go. Why not? Didn't want to go? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay.

So, like, you're still young and you want to have, like, fawn and he's like, I mean, how did you last so long, like, if he was always this way? Well, we did use to do things. And now it's just gotten really, I don't know. I mean, maybe he's not. that into me. No, he might be slowing down. I think people go through different phases in their life and as you grow older, you,

you know, you get more settled and you're more comfortable maybe doing nothing, right? I don't know, you know. I mean, you know, you guys had different lifestyles before. Like you had kids, he had younger kids too at the time. Yeah. But it's still, when sex was so important to him, you know, you know, five, six, seven years ago. Yeah.

You know, I went out of my way to do whatever for him. Well, didn't you do it for yourself? Oh, of course. Yes, I mean, of course. I got something out of it too. But I just think that now here I am. You know, I had heard late 30s, early 40s, like totally is your prime. And I thought, God, well, I've liked to fuck forever.

But there's something totally different about the late 30s, early 40s. Right. it's a totally different like really really wanting to fuck yeah you're constantly horny like I said I think it's like your last hurrah or something I mean that starts to wane but it's it'll last a long time you know it's not going away tomorrow it's not like a year thing right

it's like a lot of years thing right right right and I think this is like every guy's dream this girl is horny this girl wants to do this and I have a boyfriend who's like yeah I mean maybe we can do it this weekend but I think the bigger the other thing though that's also going on is it's not like I mean it's not like everything else is like so perfect in your life I mean I've had a lot of people I've talked to a lot of cheaters right and I have and I know people who cheat and like you know I mean and everybody's story is different right and a lot of times it's like everything is great with my partner I love them they're like perfect every

know, but, you know, the sex. Right. Yours is like, it's not so you just might, you know, and because you're coming out of like having kids and like, you know, wanting to like have fun as well as like fucking do things, you know, I mean, your guy probably isn't the right guy for you because most likely he's not going to be changing anytime soon. He's probably going to get worse. Oh, I agree.

Do you know what I mean? Oh, I totally agree. Oh, I think that is for sure. Yeah, and how is that going to be for you? Like, well, you know, I think it's important that you're with a partner that likes to do the things that you like to do, whether that's stay home. I mean, do you listen to Howard Stern? I mean, I love Howard Stern.

And he's, I mean, he's right. I used to when I had two. All right. But, like, he just likes to stay home all the time, you know? I mean, and so, like, he's got to be with a partner that wants to do that too, but his partner gets to go out and do whatever. I mean, is your husband cool with you? Is your husband, I keep calling your husband, is your boyfriend cool with you going

out with your friends and doing whatever you want to do when you want to do it? No, not at all. No, not at all. He's cool if I'm with kids or grandkids because I think he thinks it's safe. You know, I wouldn't be... Look what you're doing when you're not with your kids and grandkids. You're fucking other guys. I mean, come on.

That is true. You know what I'm saying? That is true. Yeah, so he's right. But no, no, he is not okay with the other stuff. It's okay if I do stuff with him, like what he wants to do, but no, not. And what are the things that he does like to do? He goes and hangs out with his uncles a lot.

I mean, it is the most boring thing in the entire world. And I like all of them. They're all wonderful people. I just don't want to sit around in a garage. I want to do more. Yeah. He might not be the right person for you. And I think you might know that.

I think I do. I think I do. I have a sister who's a psychologist. I mean, we all know. I do. There's just so many wonderful things about the family. Right. And because you don't have a family.

How long ago do you lose your parents? One 15 years ago and one in 2013. So like eight years ago, like right around the time you met this guy? Yes. Like, yes, at the end of that year. Yeah. So how great was it that you could meet this person and then get involved in such a great family too, right? That must have been really perfect for you at the time, right?

But I think that sometimes in life, like, I just think that we go on different paths, you know what I mean? And like at that point in your life, what you really needed was family, right? you had lost all your family and in came this perfect guy who had this amazing huge families for you, you know, so it was like perfect, right? But maybe it's not perfect anymore. And that doesn't mean that there's nothing wrong with that. Like I hate that people think you're supposed to be with one person for your whole life and that if you get or divorced quote unquote or you break up, it's like always seen as such a terrible thing. I mean, it's never an easy thing and it is always hard. But at the end of the day, sometimes that's just what's supposed to happen. You know what I

mean, and that's okay. It's not a failure. You know, it's just like now it's time to go. No, I told him, but I didn't think that until I've gotten older. Right. I think when I was younger, I thought the same thing. My parents were divorced, but they were married for 20-some years. And my dad was a cheater. Right. And I thought it was crazy and oh, I'd never do that. That cheated on, hated him, you know, angry, upset, whatever. And now I kind of see maybe, yeah, maybe there are. isn't the perfect person out there. Maybe we need people for everything.

What do you mean there's not the perfect person? You were talking about yourself and then you switch it to be like... I don't know. I have not met the perfect person that can meet all my needs that I would want to spend the whole, you know, all my time with. Well, you spent eight years with this guy and things were really great. I mean, how long have they not been? We haven't lived together.

Right. Well, listen, I would say, I mean, you know, you, that, first marriage must have done a fucking number on you, right? To be cheated on you so many times, right? And then have your husband leave you for somebody else. That kind of betrayal, I think, you know, changes you. And it could be a lot of time. Yeah, totally.

I mean, you said you have a sister that's a psychologist. You know, did you work through the feelings from that relationship? Because I think it would make it hard for you to ever really hang your hat permanently with somebody else or really commit. it might be scary because of what happened in that situation. Of course, right? Right. No, no.

I really went through all the emotions with that one. Mm-hmm. I mean, I, yes, I worked through all of that. And then came out on the other end. And like I said, if I see him now, I can talk to him. Right. So. And I don't even feel anything.

Right, but it sounds like you had, that's great, but it sounds like you had a very good relationship with this guy until, now. And maybe it's, you know, an age thing and a timing thing. And maybe it's just, you know, you're going in separate ways. Like maybe you're going to become a little bit more wild. And, you know, you had kids very young. If you have grandkids and you're only in your 40, 40s. I did. I did. I had a child very young. I mean, in high school, I did do everything very young. So I do think that, you know, late 30s or like this is, this is me time. Yeah, I'm the opposite of you.

I did nothing. I did whatever the fuck I wanted until I was 46 and then I had a baby. Okay, so it's very like opposite. But, you know, because I have a kid now, I mean, to me, I couldn't even imagine being super young having a child. And because having a child, if you do it the right way, right? And you're a good parent. It's like it's all about the child, right?

There's no new time at all, you know. Oh, and that was my life. Yeah, at a very young age when you have the energy and the everything to just be going out doing everything so that I so I totally get why people are you know that are in their 40s and 50 are out and bars all the ones that were like the people who got married and had kids really young right because like you're living at your life again right your kids go about to college leave the house whatever and now you could fucking have fun and I I get that I did the opposite that right but like and I think you know maybe for you because that's where you're at you a 50 year old

guy who's not at that same place or doesn't want to go through that might not be right for you anymore. It does sound like he was right for you in the beginning. I don't think you need, I don't know, but, you know, it's not like, oh, you can never meet anyone perfect. I mean, did you love this guy for most of the time that you've been with him? Oh, for sure. Yes, definitely. So you guys had a good relationship. And I don't love him now. I just don't think that I'm in love with him. I'm not in love with the idea of our life, this like split life. He lives there, I live there. Yeah. You know, just no interest in any kind of future. I don't want to be late 40s and still in the same boat. Right. Uh-huh. You want to be partnered up again and be

with somebody in a serious relationship, living with them? Yeah. I want something more. or even if it's just somebody to thunk and, like, travel with. Right. But then why say we're boyfriend and girlfriend? You know, that's just all that it is. Yeah, I mean, you got to, like, you'll figure that out.

I mean, I think eventually after you fuck a lot of young dudes and get this out of your system, I don't know. That I've never done. Right, but you might eventually, like, maybe then, you know, go back to wanting, like, a real relationship, right? And hang your hat with one person. And that you could fucking travel that loves you that lives with you and gives you the attention and the companionship and everything all at once, right?

I mean, you're just lacking in your relationship now, but it doesn't mean that you can't find another one that would work. But maybe you don't need to jump into another relationship. Maybe this one is going to go out. It's just to me, my worry for you is like, you know, it's like if you're if you had a job and you were like really unhappy, you know, and nobody that gets fired from a job, nobody ever really gets fired from a job

that they're not, that they're totally happy with, right? The person that's getting fired is the person that's always like fucked and hates their job, right? And so they wind up bringing. Right, and they're doing things. Yeah, they sabotage. It's sabotage on some level, even if you don't know it, right? And it's so, but you walk out with your like head down low, right?

Like you just got fucking fired. There's something worse. And so to me, my worry for you is that you leave this relationship in that way by getting caught, and then it just, it's, you know, that's kind of going to be hard. Which is what I would never want to do, not for, well, certainly not for myself. Yeah. And not for Tuesday either, because he's not with somebody, you know, like he's entirely, he's a grown man, he can do what he wants, you know, but I just wouldn't want anyone to really know about this.

but what about your I thought this whole time I mean it's it's interesting that you're like the last thing I want to do that too is like Tuesday not your boyfriend like you know you know like the first thought for you is like oh yeah like I don't want to get caught because I would never want to

do that to him I thought you were going to say your fucking boyfriend now like you'd feel bad for him but you feel more Tuesday maybe this is saying more about all of this that I thought well I don't want to

to hurt him either. I mean, I'm not purposely trying to hurt anyone. No, no, that's what I mean. It would be, though. That's the whole point. That's my whole point is that, you know, you want to, you know, if you are sabotaging, if you are, like, subconsciously, like, checking out of this and doing it, you know, by cheating and you might get, like, you know, you might want to get yourself out of that mode because walking out of the relationship with that whole family knowing that you really like that. You you know, it's ending because you were cheating on him and him knowing. I mean, you know, that's not a good ending. I think endings of relationships are very difficult,

but if you end it that way and it ends without you controlling it, but because of something that you did will be really bad. Bad for him because he'll go through what you went through when you found out your partner was cheating and also bad for you. Right, and I don't want to do that. I guess I just feel like I have said to him all the things I need. Like I wish my ex-husband would have said to me. I need A, B, C, and D.

What have I said to him? Yeah, when you say I've said all the things that my husband, I wish my husband said to me. Did you ever say, let me ask you this. Did you ever say this? Because this came up to someone that I know his husband. And this was like, wow, what a great fucking therapist. Like her, this person's therapist said, you know, tell your wife that how you feel

because I guess he was telling her that, you know, he's not getting stuff at home. and he's always asking for it. And that person was never changing. And so he said, you know, my therapist told me to tell you, like, I just want you to know that if I, I did, I don't have anybody in my life right now. There is nobody that I'm going to cheat on you with. But if somebody presented themselves and they were like kind of nice and all the stars, I might cheat on you because of things.

And it was a real fucking eye opener, you know? And I was like, wow, that's like really brilliant because I'm always like, what does the person do? Like what is the person in your position who has a partner that, you know, isn't giving them what they needs and they have these needs and they're not being met and they keep saying all, like you said, quote unquote, all the things that I wish my husband said like you're spoon feeding him every opportunity for him to give you what you want so you don't cheat. But you know, why not the next thing to do is, you know, dish out that very very. honest statement, which is if my needs are being met here, I feel like I might stray. I think that's a great thing. I think that is a wonderful thing. I have not used that one yet. I have like pretty much straight out. Wow. That is true. He doesn't know that. Which makes it a little harder

for how to phrase it. No, but I mean, you don't want to tell, you don't have to tell them that you straight, but like, I mean, what are the things that you say that you said to him? It's just the fact of you just being honest about what you're looking for, that you spelled it out and he hasn't done anything? That, like, when we have sex, I would like him to focus on me. Like, the whole idea is to make me come. Mm-hmm. But we just do. It's like barbaric shit now.

Just... Like what? I feel like it's just like, you know, he just wants to fuck. He gets off. We're done. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's no fun at all. No, no fun at all.

Right. No fun at all. Right. And but also it's not fun, your relationship sounds like a drag too. Well, it pretty much is, and I'm sure that this is a direct reflection of that. Yeah, I mean, you lot, but it's all, and I just don't know that the, that you could ignite that spark back because, I mean, if you were like getting close to 50 or something, like maybe then you'd be getting, going to be, where he's at soon, but like, you're, I think, just getting in the mode of like, starting to have more fun than ever.

And he's kind of winding down. So I think that that's a big problem in a relationship. And, you know, you guys' relationship might not last because of that, which is okay. I'm just saying, like, you don't want to end it with him finding out that you're cheating and that's why it ends. You want to end it because you have a conversation and tell him, like, I think maybe this is not right anymore. Could you handle being alone? Oh, I've spent most of my life alone, yes.

Yes? Okay. Yes. No, I could. Mm-hmm. I could. I mean, essentially I am. I mean, I see him on the weekends here and there, but essentially I live my life alone.

Right, because you're not so in bed with each other, because you do live separately. You never got married or anything like that. Right. Right. Right. You know, totally support, you know, even. person supports themselves. No, I'm not indebted to him or anything.

No. Yeah, he might have been a very good interim partner, you know, in between. Because maybe after your ex-husband, you weren't really ready or wanting to be that close with somebody like you were, you know, really like, you know, intertwined. You know, that's what a marriage is. You're really all in, right? So maybe this was perfect for the time that it was, but it's just not perfect anymore. What about Tuesday?

Does he ever ask about your relationship? Do you guys talk? He doesn't. Okay, so you guys... He doesn't. I mean, he says things like, is it safe to come over? Nobody's going to show up.

Yeah, that's cool. But no, we never talk about it. Right. Well, that's okay. You know, I think that that's good. I just, you know, worry that you, you know, you could also wind up having feelings for him, too, down the line.

I just don't know what's going to happen there. I do think that maybe... I could see that happening, but I couldn't see anything ever working out any time. He still has younger children. Right. That he has... I'm going to say most of the custody of.

So, I mean, he would have several years of that. Right. So for him, it's perfect. So for him, what you're presenting, the situation that you present to him is actually probably ideal, right? He just gets sex, right? A little break from...

those fucking kids, you know, but not anything that's going to demand that much of his time. Because like you said, and like I said, and everyone knows when they have kids and they're little, it's like, that's like your life. I remember when I was, my son was like two, all my mom friends, because I was single, right? I was a single one. They'd be like, oh, have you dated? Like, you're still so hot. Like, why don't you date?

And I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? That's like the last thing on my mind. You know what I mean? Like, I just, I don't know when they're really young. You're not, you got blinders on it, especially as a mom, right? it's like you're just to focus. Which is what happened to me when I was so much younger. Yeah.

When I was my ex-husband traveled and was gone and, you know, so I was like the mom, the day, I was everything. Yeah. So I had all those years of that. And then and now it's like, wow, nobody needs me. Yeah. I can do what I want to do. Yeah. You need to end your relationship and get out there and live your fucking life.

And he needs to find out. what floats his boat too. I don't know that if he was very honest with himself that he would say that he's really so happy in the relationship either. I agree. I absolutely agree.

I don't think he is. I think he's comfy. Yeah. And I think he's just complacent. Yeah. But I mean, I can't believe he wouldn't see the writing on the wall

when we've had somebody talks about this and they've done this and we've done that and talked about it but nothing changes. But you can tell him. I mean, you haven't wrote it on the wall. Like, you know, you haven't said I might cheat. Like, you can say like, listen, if my needs are not going to met, like, I'm going to, I'm going to want to go out and explore elsewhere and see where that conversation. I'm going to try that one. Listen, I don't think he's going to change and it's in him to change, but like maybe that'll be the conversation that leads to you guys eventually parting ways. And, you know, and however hard that is, but if both of you, but, you know, if it's done in a way and sometimes it's like, you know, unrealistic to think that it's going to be that way.

But like, you know, maybe you'll both agree and you'll both part ways. And what did Gwyneth Paltrow call it? Like, like, a conscious uncouple. I don't know. They did it very nicely. Like, I mean, you know, it can be better than if you get caught fucking cheating. So I might, you know, you might want to start having those conversations because, like I said, I don't know that he's going to magically turn into the person that you need him to be. And because listen, just because you're where you're at right now and what, you know, you're

super horny and you want to be going out, like a lot of people in that age range wouldn't want to do those kind of things, right? And so there's somebody for everybody, right? And so he could meet somebody that's a lot more his speed, maybe someone that, you know, and he might be more into that person too. And you both would be happier with other people because both of you are totally fine, right? I mean, he's not doing anything wrong.

He's not listening to you, but I think that's very common in relationships, whether it's the man complaining or the woman complaining. You know, it's a fucking problem, right? People don't hear the complaints. And the sad thing about men is all you men that are listening to this and fucking judging her for cheating, like your woman will tell you a million fucking times what she's not unhappy, what she's unhappy about. And if you don't fucking do something about it, like it's over. Like, I can't tell you how many times I had a friend that was, like, in the worst relationship. And then she was always talking about and, you know, on her husband's back about it. And then one day she finally, finally gets fucking sick of it and divorces him.

And he's like, floored. Like, what the fuck happened? Is like, are you kidding? Yeah. Are you kidding me? So they don't really listen the same way, you know, and they should, right? But a lot of times that's not the case. So it's-

But I think what you said about saying, Here's the deal. Here's what I want. And I feel like if something came along, I'd be willing to do that. That might be, I'm not going to say a game changer. I don't think people change. I don't think people change in their 20s, let alone their 50s. I think you are pretty much who you are.

No, I think people totally change. Look, he was a totally different person when you dated him. And now he's like a dullard. People totally change. And the things that you're talking about, I mean, he's a decent guy. you didn't say anything terrible about him. Like all you said is he's starting to slow down. And he used to be into sex and he's not.

So actually he has changed. I think people could change. As long as you're alive, you could fucking change. What I don't think will change in this is that I think he's just slowing down. And that's a natural progression of his life. And that's natural progression of a lot of people's life. And that is probably only going to get,

he's probably only going to go more in that direction. He's not going to flip and be like, oh, all of a sudden I want to act like I'm 25. I see why you're that way, right? But it doesn't seem like he's in that place. And I think that, you know, that is hard to change. But he did change. And you changed.

And that's the problem. And you just didn't change together. Right. And that's what happens. And that's okay. Like, that's what I don't like about, like, I don't know, like people and they're so judgy of like someone breaks up with someone or something ends.

They see it as a failure or something. something. I don't know. Like maybe this was all the time you were supposed to be. And now you're both going to change and go in different directions. And you could be happy with other people. Some people never change. Like some people will know all this, but they still stay with the person. And they, like, my parents have been married the whole life. They probably should have been with other people 10 times in their life. But they never fucking leave each other. I don't know. But to me, I think life is short, you know, and it's okay if you're with someone for eight years. That's a successful relationship. But maybe it doesn't need to be 18 years.

You know, maybe it's not meant for that long, but it was the perfect relationship for you for as long as it was. Maybe you're okay to give up that family now, you know? Maybe you could just go have fucking fun. Yes, and I think that I've known this, and that's why when Tuesday I presented them south, I think that's why I slipped right in there. Right.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because in the back of my head, I know where we're going. it's over yeah Splidsville right right

for whatever reason I haven't done that because it's fucking hard it's so hard you know it's hard to

leave somebody you've been with him for eight years I don't care that he lives someplace else or whatever you know

you are you've been emotionally attached to him for eight years I think it's really hard it's easy for me to say

oh leave him you know I mean in real life that kind of stuff plays out it's very difficult, right? Even if you hate someone, it's difficult. But it's not like you hate him, right?

He's just not meeting your needs and there's that aggravation and stuff. But you do like a lot of things about him. You guys had a good, a solid relationship for all this time. So I think it's really difficult. So I get why sometimes people sabotage because it's easier to do that than, you know, do the right thing because. Yeah, because you know it's like tortured. You're going to like you're going to break up with someone and in

flicked pain on yourself and somebody else, like knowingly. Like that's hard thing to do. So I get it, you know. But I'm just warning you that if it happens the other way, it's just going to be so messy and bad and you won't, you know, it's just going to add another layer to something that's already going to be difficult. And, you know, if you could avoid adding the cheating layer and all that hurt and stuff for him and for you and for your town folks to know what the fuck is going, you know.

It's like, I don't know. You might want to try and avoid it. Don't you think? I think you are right. Yeah. I think you are right. I just have to do it. Yeah.

And Tuesday is good. But like I said, I think if you bring up that conversation, you know, you might, you're not, you're like your needs are being mad. So you might feel, you feel scared that you might want to go and be with somebody else. Like, I mean, that's just where you're at and that's where it's going. I, like I said, I think that might open up the lines of communication. and eventually bring on the end. And you would want to do it in that way, I think,

and, you know, through conversations. Oh, yeah, then to have somebody else get hurt. Yeah, yeah, you know, seriously. And watch out for Tuesday. You just don't want to wind up and fucking fake love with him. No, I agree. You know what I'm saying? It's supposed to be just fun.

Yeah, it's supposed to be just fun, but, you know, you know. I mean, because the... I know. You do it too many times and then feelings, And yeah, that can happen. But, you know, listen, I would never say stop that. But let's see where that goes. Whatever happens, you'll deal with it, right?

I mean, and you'll be fine. So even if you caught feelings, it gets messy and whatever, you know, you can't, you got to do what you got to do. Maybe you wind up with him, who knows. But maybe you wind up with somebody else or whatever, you know. Yeah, who knows. Hopefully I'll have some update in a year or so, but, you know. Yeah, year goes by fast when you're my age.

though. Where are we at? No, I want to your end of the year. I feel like there'll be an update before the end of this year. What are we in June? We're in June. Yeah, six months. Get that conversation moving. I see you, my prediction, and I've been wrong before, okay, my, but I've been very right a lot of times. My prediction is that this relationship goes but, like you wind up ending this relationship. and my prediction is that you wind up having feelings for Brian. That's just... For who? Oh, I don't know.

Why did I say call him Brian? Tuesday. Who's Brian? I don't know. Oh, okay. I'm like, whoa, I don't know. Who's Brian? That's so weird.

Why would I even think of Brian? Was that in any emails or anything? No, no, not that name. And that's not his name, right? So I could keep that in. I don't have to delete it. You can leave that in there. That is not his name.

Where the fuck did Brian come out of? Maybe you'll meet a guy named Brian. Let's see. Okay. End of the year. Okay. Maybe that's like, was a weirdo slip. Okay.

You need to let me know Caroline, right? Is that what we fucking called you? Caroline. Perfect. Well, I'll call you by the end of the year and give me an update. Yeah, give me an update. Good luck with everything. Thank you for calling it and sharing your story.

I think it's an important one to hear. Make sure to go to YouTube. A lot of people, I'm just going to warn you. Okay. I'm going to warn you. But I'll stick up for you. On YouTube, the men are going to go fucking crazy, trashing you because you're a cheater.

I just trust me, I just know how. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah, it's interesting, but I, you know, whatever. Go on there and look when it's posted, but I'll let you know when it's posted and make sure to go there. If you want to, I do anonymous picks now, if you want to send it an anonymous pick, but no face, nothing pornographic, but it could be sexy.

You could send it in. If not, it doesn't matter. But thanks so much for calling it sharing your story. I think it's important because it's a very common story, not just for men but also for women. That's why when you're like, oh, I just fuck this guy and I'm like, have you done it a lot? No, just kind. And I was like, oh, well, that's, how much of a story is that?

But I'm like, you know, this is like a very common problem. You know what I mean? Women cheat too. Well, I believe that. Well, of course you believe that because you're a woman and you're cheating. Yeah. So that's what, but so that's why I think it's good for people to hear because women cheat. This is the reason why they cheat.

this is how they cheat. This is... Yeah, but boys need to listen. Yes, so there you go. So thanks a lot and keep me posted. Good luck with everything. Okay, sounds good. All right, bye.

Bye. Hey, everyone, thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show. because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment.

So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos and strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story.

There's a gang-being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica.

I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay?

There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there you can post your own pictures and videos there's tons of channels we have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money it's a super fun place to be it's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it i will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord it's private like i said all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase whether you did the audiobook the ebook or the paperback sent it to me

at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. At free end, you get to see anonymous picks of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks and some of the guys send an anonymous picks.

So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guest, as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free. Sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.