Stuff Island - A Year Off w/ Christophe Jean - Stuff Island #119

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en - Follow Christophe on IG: https://www.instagram.com/chrisjeanofficial/?hl=en Check out the Rough Week Podcast! https://www.youtube.com/@roughweekshow/featured Go to squarespace.com/stuffisland and save 10% on your first purchase Go to TryFirstleaf.com/STUFFISLAND to sign up and you’ll get your first SIX hand-curated bottles for just $44.95.  Go to HelloFresh.com/stuffislandfree and use code “stuffislandfree” for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code “STUFFISLAND” New customers can bet $5 to get $200 instantly in bonus bets Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

yeah i'm gonna miss the the you know the hustle and bustle yeah yeah for sure but i'm also gonna love all the i think it's nice slow pace i'm going to enjoy yeah yeah yeah just might be a welcome yeah welcome break chilling yeah i don't think there's a lot of pool time in. I've been here 10 years. 10, 11 years. Damn. I've been here four, three. Yeah. Three. Yeah.

Yeah. Pulling up to a driveway, hitting a fucking open my garage. Oh, yeah. There's none of these fucking heroin idiots ripping through my. There's going to be some of those. That's downtown. Not in the suburbs. Not in the suburbs.

I think they hike into the burbs. They do. That's Portland, dude. gonna be some of those that's downtown not where not in the suburbs i think they hike into the burbs i do that's portland you gotta watch out for the homeless down there because they don't they're not like a sit on the block and just have like a like a three block radius kind of thing right dude they they're like adventurers that's how they got down there let me tell you something throw one of those motherfuckers in my yard yeah I'll be so scatterbrained because there's going to be no mayhem. Let me find a stranger rooting through my backyard. Yeah, what are you going to do? Shirt off immediately.

Smash a can of beer full on my fucking skull and run at him like a lost deer. Not knowing how to handle myself. You should get a bow and arrow. Yeah. We actually have a long archery area in my backyard. You can't do down and outs.

Football-wise, it'd be great for archery. You can't do down and outs? No, not in the one side. There's like an archery area, and then there's like a backyard area. There's a genuine archery area? No, I'm calling it that now because you're telling me I got to go bow and arrow. I think you should. Get a fucking bow, man.

Ace Quest just shaved my head, changed my name to Joe Rogan. Went in Austin. I'm going full Rogan once I get down there. Yeah? What, are you getting guns and stuff? Yeah, I'm going to shoot some guns. I think I'm going to have to take a driver's test,

which is very funny. Oh, really? I think I have to do it because if your driver's license is expired from another state... Oh, oh you have to retest you have to retest so i gotta i gotta book up i gotta book up and i think i actually have to like you know i get a little parking between the cones stuff yeah but you're on my breath telling this picture she doesn't know shit dude the key is when you sit down you ask the ask the tester if they're buckled up, and then you're usually good to go. Whoa.

That's a nice secret. You buckled up. There you go. Yep. I like that. And then you go, let's have a nice little drive. Yeah. Then I pull out a soft pack of Winstons, and I'm like, you want one?

Might as well smoke. She looks down I'm just shoeless Yeah Smoking on your driver's test Dude Just sexualizing The entire driver's test

Would be so fun Flirting with her Turn the radio off Sing along Smoking Just Jakar Noir Like air fresheners Blasting off

These little trees You like that baby? Might try to turn this up That would be incredible That would be nice Get to a stop sign You're like S-T-O-P-L

Dude yeah I want really good sexual I would love to get into like hunting Yeah that would be sick My buddy was like Hunting for elk or something In Colorado And he would never catch anything

Really He said it was so fucking hard He was hunting with like a bow and arrow So he has to be so fucking close I thought he shooting. He was hunting with like a bow and arrow. Oh, that's so fucking close. It's crazy. And I love, I love the idea of not killing anything, but hunting going.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. That sounds hard. It's kind of how you live your life. Exactly. Yeah. Because I could do all this.

You look like in stock people, like you're going to kill. Yeah. And then you just walk home. Yeah. Look, there's no other way. My favorite thing to do as a kid was to like,

you know, you like play military, you put on camo and like paint your face and. There's no other way. My favorite thing to do as a kid was to play military. Put on camo and paint your face and sneak around the neighborhood. The only way to do that as an adult is to say that you're hunting. That's true. You come across an elk and you're like, isn't it beautiful?

You say nothing. He didn't even bring weapons with you. You're just like, wow. Look at him. I've never seen one so close. Yeah. There's no one else there. And his buddy's like, will you shut the fuck up? Also, you can't wear cologne out here.

They smell you from like a mile away. What if you're going to some chicks? Yeah. No chicks hunting. No chicks are hunting. Chicks hunt here, dude. It's Texas. The homeless chicks hide out here.

You never know how hot they are. Yeah. There is encampments out there. I've researched. What do you mean? There used know how hot they are. Yeah. There is encampments out there I've researched. What do you mean? There used to be real bad ones. Yeah. Under the, there was like an overpass right near downtown that was brutal.

Oh, yeah, yeah. They got rid of all of them. Yeah, they cleaned that up. What did they do with them? I think they just said, you can't do that anymore. And then homeless people were like, okay. I think it was like, find another spot. I guess so, but it was like, it was so many people.

It was a tent city. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was like rows and rows and rows of them. Because the best part about being homeless, though, you get evicted from nowhere. No, what happened was they made a law that you could just set up a tent anywhere. Right.

And then the pandemic hit, and every homeless person bought a one-way ticket to Austin. Oh, geez. And then they all just set up down there you think so they got word yeah yeah traveling through the homeless packages flying off trains yeah mail they all yeah they all went to austin and then uh and then everyone was like This is fucking retarded And then they cancelled it

That's the same with LA LA just didn't do anything yet though LA's just shitty that way It's just really really bad homeless And it's a whole neighborhood It's not just a block It's like streets and streets and streets It's crazy

And they're not just tents They're crazy hoarders. They're crazy people, obviously, for the most part. I've seen like RVs and stuff set up near those things, too. Like old RVs. There was someone

who parked their RV and then homeless people got into it and they're like, well. It's yours now. What are you going to do? You can't rip them out. The cops don't rip them out.

They just have this. They just commandeered it. Dude, that whole... The legality around the fact that you could just break into someone's home like this is squatting yeah squatting i'm squatting yeah and they can't yeah i don't can't kill you i don't understand how they can't do it i don't do i just saw just ripped the guy out of my i own the house you're squatting in it i don't want you to live in here anymore some stranger had an empty house he was trying to rent and some fucking homeless dude

went in the basement and he's like, this is my basement now. Called the cops. Cops were like, well, he's squatting. He can't do anything. What is a squat? Yeah, I don't understand squatters. I don't either. How is it not trespassing?

Care enough to get into it. Because I think if I figured it out, I would be so fucking livid. Yeah, I don't understand how that works. And the guy nailed the basement door shut. Because the dude was just down there chilling. He's like, you can't take me out. Oh my God. It's the worst rac down there chilling. He's like, you can't take me out. Oh, my God.

It's the worst raccoon ever. You can't take him out. He nailed him in? He nailed him in. Wow. He took a 4x4, drilled it in. And the guy's like banging on the inside of the door. Holy hell.

Which is pretty sick. They should just like, they should build like a giant like Formula One like loop just around the country and just get them walking on it. Yeah. You mean fat people? Just homeless. Fat people, homeless people. Just keep moving.

Yeah. Just keep moving. Anytime you see them, it's like you can't stay here and get on the track. Dude, you know what I mean? It's like they have a place to go. That's a good idea. But you got to keep it moving.

It's like... Keep it moving. Keep it moving. Just a giant loop. It's like Mario Keep it moving. Just a giant loop. It's like Mario Kart. You have to hit that time extension. Or else you get kicked out of the country. Got to be Wichita in 37.

Fuck, man. That is a great idea. You got to put another quarter in. That's a really good idea. Just a big loop. Put a couple bathrooms in between, you know? Yeah. A little washroom.

Yeah. It is crazy that we don't really do much for them. Create a lot of jobs. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But what can you do? They're like crazy.

Dude, the quarantine thing was like the funniest shit in the world. It's not funny. It's very sad. But they had like, L.A. had like pop-up domes for dining they put on the streets yeah and they made it in like a week and a half they're like you can eat in this dome yeah oh yeah during covid and then the homeless was just there homeless are like holy shit dude you could build all these pots and he's been sitting on this yeah that's hilarious dude imagine being a homeless

guy you have no idea the news you don't know anything and then a bunch of domes just appear yeah and you're like what yeah this is amazing and the guy's like do you have a reservation i don't have a home i'd like one of those make me a bubble pie you fucking asshole didn't reagan get rid of all the reagan was a piece of shit. Yeah, he got rid of all the... Blacks. I don't know. All the what? The blacks. All the blacks. Yeah, the drug enforcement.

Yeah. And they all came back. The dude, what? And they all came back. Yeah, with a vengeance. No, he got rid of all the psychiatric things because he saw... This is a rumor I heard. I don't know if it's true,

but he saw one... This whole podcast we say shit. Yeah, yeah. It's a misinformation-based podcast. You mean like insane he saw one. This whole podcast. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's a misinformation based. You mean like insane asylums? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He saw one flew over the cuckoo's nest and was like, these are horrible. I got to get rid of these. I really heard that. Yeah. And he was an act. He's probably on set.

Dude, this is what it's like. He's an actor with Alzheimer's watching a movie and he just thinks it's real. He literally thought he was a cowboy. He thought he was. Even Jack Nicholson's stuck. That's how bad he's got. Yeah. He's there with a big. He literally thought he was a cowboy. He thought he was... Even Jack Nicholson's stuck in there. That's how bad he's got it. Yeah, he's there with a big...

He's not true. A big Native American. You know, or whatever. Probably wouldn't call him that, but... Native Americans? Native American. You probably wouldn't say that. I'd beat off to Nancy

thinking about her sucking my bird. Oh, my God. Nancy Reagan? Yeah. That'd be amazing. She's a head queen. Yep. You know that story, right?

Yeah. Do you think she's... But she's like a 60s head queen. You think the game was that tight back then? Nah, she keeps it queen. Yep. You know that story, right? Yeah. Do you think she's... But she's like a 60s head queen. You think the game was that tight back then? Nah, she keeps it up. Yeah. If you're a head queen that early... Is she not dead?

She died. Okay. Yeah, it's the hardest part about getting to her now. You can't give head that well anymore. Prying that door open. I don't know. Trying to get one last head. Getting a crowbar into her.

I think we're like... The blowjob's probably the best it's ever been right now you think so in terms of technique yeah yeah they just go bananas dude it'd be like watching like people play basketball in the 20s yeah the guys are the best basketball players yeah it's just putting a hand now you got black strippers making bubbles down their... He's like, holy shit. This girl's got a bubble gum in her mouth. Nancy Reagan with bubbles rolling down her throat. There's no way she was sloppy about it. Oh, she was sloppy.

No, she was... You think she was sloppy? To the point where we're talking about it still. That's true. Everybody's got a... Jill Biden, I hear, is a nice little piglet. She's fucking all her security. No.

She probably goes, hey. I could see her... Me too. I think she's got it. Yeah. Something sexy about that woman. She knows her dead husband's not going to fucking care. You just want to be close to power.

I want to fuck the power out of a powerful person. That's not saying much about yourself. I want to watch the power out of a powerful person. That's not saying much about yourself. I want to watch the power. Yeah. Just remove from her eyes. Jill Blaine's been demoted from First Lady for fucking time. She announced her choice of First Lady? Put her on the homeless track.

I don't know. Oh, do what you call it, Jill. You got to be going out of here, Jill. Bubble Jill, out of here. No, I don't mean like physically losing not so powerful now like neo no i just meant like you know watching her just be a regular person in the bedroom oh yeah she becomes an animal yeah removing her power yeah she's no longer a symbol of power she's just a slut wants to be treated like a little pig yeah because deep

down everybody does everybody 95 you think all people you marry the five percent that doesn't want to be treated like a pig all the time yeah and then you go pigging you gotta get go back to the draw at this point you hunt yeah without catching anything yeah yeah i think she'd flip you on her back and start choking and go i'm the first lady yes madam president come for me now. Isn't it hot to think of her like... No. Putting Joe to bed

and then like going out into the giant SUVs that block all the fucking midtown streets. Yeah. Just getting on all fours. They put the seats down and she's just getting fucking railed and choked. She's screaming for this big black security guard to give her more.

Next thing she's got a limp and she has to tell Joe her knee's acting up again So funny to think of like a Bulletproof party bus Bulletproof gang bus Or a bang bus Just one of those prom limos Totally bulletproof Dude there's neon lights

Striping through the middle of it Just fucking Thick tires Oh, dude, there's neon lights striping through the middle of it. Just fucking thick tires. She just gets creamed all over her face. She's like, crack me a Bud Light. They're on the side left. I hid them. I hid them from Joe.

Dude, shout out to Shane for being the face of Bud Light. Yeah, shout out to Shane. Bud Light is back. We're drinking both of our beers. Yeah, cheers. Bud Light is back. Cheers're drinking both of our beers. Yeah, cheers. Bud Light. Cheers to Shane and Steph Island. I'm having a cup of Joe.

Cup of coffee. Day. You would never get on that party bus, dude. That's why you hunt without a rifle. I would get on that

party bus. No, you wouldn't. In a second. I'm in charge of the party bus. Jill and I have spoken about it.

Yeah. I have a guest list you have to reserve. You talk to her? Yeah. You'd be in a bubble on the street outside of the party bus watching us have sex no maybe i'd be drunk getting kicked out of prom have you been kicked out of prom yeah i got suspended oh for being at prom i was too

drunk at prom oh man which year junior let's go yeah came back senior did you come back? I came back senior year. That one I made it. That one I did not kick. I got kicked out junior year. I was fucking hammered. What was the drinking process? Before we went to work? Shugging vodka. No, it was at one of our friend's houses.

It was one of those parents that was like, have the pregame thing here. I was wrecked. I don't even remember i just remember my parents picking me up and yeah it was horrible i woke up in bed the next day like fuck like i woke up in my room and was like i should not be here something truly bad happened should have been the poconos exactly Poconos Finger and Cindy My parents never let me do that shit though My mother was like such a

Frady cat What do you mean never let you She wouldn't let me go places Until I was like a senior Freshman, sophomore, junior All the degenerates No I go to prom but I couldn't go to the Poconos To the party after?

Because she knew. Oh, yeah. She's smart. She didn't want me goofing in some bitch that might get pregnant. Yeah, yeah. It happened to like three of my friends. Yeah. Yeah, true.

It was rough because I woke up the next day and my brother was playing in the national championship for lacrosse. Oh, you told me that story. It was bad. Damn. So I'm at the lowest of the low. And he's at the highest of the high. And he's at the highest of the high. Did they win? Yeah.

That rules. So you just got blacked out, got kicked out of your prom, and your brother's like, just whipping lacrosse balls until he wins the championship. It was brutal. What a fucking loser you must have felt like. Although, thank God they won.

Took a little of the edge off my face. You know what I mean? If they had lost, I would have double trouble. My dad hit me with it because after the game they just randomly select three guys to drug test. And he was like, thank God you're not on the team. That's funny. Did you do drugs too?

I don't think so Maybe I smoked weed or something Yeah Yeah Yeah They testing for PEDs? I think just Yeah like

And weed at the time Yeah We still So they're like Yeah This is college across? Yeah Oh okay

Gotcha Yeah D2? 3 D3 they're testing for PEDs? Let the fucking Let these water heads run Yeah dude If you're a D3 guy You deserve steroids for PEDs? Let the fucking... Let these waterheads run.

If you're a D3 guy, you deserve steroids. Let them go to D2. Make it interesting for the parents. No, LaCroix's D3 is better than D2. Why? Just the way it is. It's not a... I always thought D1, D2 was like an objective ranking of how good... Maybe not for LaCroix.

Yeah. Because it was like the school... Like all the schools in D2 were all just like shitty schools. Weird. And it was like a small like league. Oh, okay. I feel like there was like 20 teams in it or something. It was way more D3 teams than D2.

Oh, that's weird. Yeah. Interesting. So, yeah, everyone either went D3 or D1. Weird. There's Juco College. Like the Netflix Juco? Yeah.

College series. So good, dude. Yeah, it's so good so good especially when you're playing a sport where you could go pro yeah the quarterbacks going to like somewhere in bumblefuck florida yeah and they're with like truly criminals yeah i've been arrested six times i can't get accepted to a d1. They're like, well, you get your stats up, all of these places will take you. Yeah, that's true. And it works.

That's crazy. That's the most depressing thing is when there's a guy on the team who got kicked off of Florida State. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just wears all his Florida State gear. Oh, God. At the JUCO thing. It's like, dude, fucking put it in a closet, man.

Have a little respect for yourself. Did that happen to Winston? It might have. I don't remember. I just remember the fuck him right in the pussy thing and the crab legs. He stole the crab legs. He stole crab legs. It's so funny. He got kicked out of college. Was Winston? Jameis Winston?

Jameis Winston. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember when he stole the crab legs? It was so crazy. So funny. Just took an entire tray, like the type of thing your aunt would bring to a funeral. It's also the type of thing a kid would do at that age. It's very funny.

Stealing crab legs. It's also got to be hard to know what's free and what isn't. Yeah, when you're James Winston. When you're like the quarterback of Florida State. You're like, I just thought everyone was giving up. That's how they're accused of rape. Jesus. No, only just look at pussy and it's usually thrown on them.

I'm going to take this one. This one's on a tray. It says no to that. I showed her my ID. She knows I start. I took my hood off. She knows. It probably does feel like

not being let into the facility. What are you talking about? That's the genius of like. I'm on the team. This key card just keeps coming red. Yeah. Her pussy lips just keep closing again. I was in here all the time.

Coach, I don't know what's going on. Dude, the fact that LeBron has avoided any controversy like that is crazy difficult. He's got to be getting side pussy in NDAs. I bet there's NDA side pussy. I bet there's also an agreement with his wife. I think there's got to be. He's not cheating on her. She's well aware.

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. You guys know Squarespace already. Squarespace is a website design platform. I think you can also buy like domains and stuff through them. They're pretty great. We use them for our website. I've used them for almost every website I've ever made, which is like three.

And it's super easy to use. It's like, it's crazy easy to use. You can just set it up. They give you like templates and stuff. You can just plug and play. If you really like kind of know what you're doing, you don't even have to be that crazy good at it. Yeah, yeah.

You can just move things around and fucking add some pictures that you like, do some cool design work. Our producer already got in there recently and totally revamped it. It looks great. I get a lot of private messages about these dudes wanting to start podcasts

because they see us just hanging out with our boys. Yeah, yeah. It's a very easy and cheap way to start the process to own your own website. Yeah, get a website, baby. And flex in the Irish pub and be like, I have a website. Yeah, she's going to be like,

ow, ow, ow. And flex in the Irish pub and be like, I have a website. Yeah, she's going to be like, ow, ow, ow. They got a fluid engine. Next generation website design system from Squarespace. It's never been easier for anyone to unlock unbreakable creativity. Start with the best in class website template and customize every design detail with reimagined drag and drop technology. That's what I was just talking about. The drag and dropness of it is beautiful.

Desktop or mobile. Stretch your imagination online with Fluid Engine and built in and ready to go in any new Squarespace site. Guys, listen. Go to squarespace.com slash stuffisland to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using Stuff Island. So, again, squarespace.com slash stuff island,

save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using Stuff Island. Boom. Are you looking for a super offer for Super Bowl 58? Holy shit, it's 58. DraftKings Sportsbook has you covered. New customers can bet on the big game and turn $5 into $ 200 instantly with bonus bets. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code stuff.

Island. New customers bet only $5. You get 200 instantly in bonus bets only on DraftKings Sportsbook and official sports betting partner is Superbowl 58 with code stuff. Island crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER and or in West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, if you've got a problem, call 877-8-HOPE-NEW-YORK or text HOPE-NEW-YORK.

If it's that big of a deal, you just text them. 467-369. In Connecticut, if you've got a problem, grow up. Your parents are taking care of you, rich fucking dildo. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas,

21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See DKNG.com slash stuff filing for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Instead of walking a straight line, if a guy thinks you're drinking when driving, they should make you read this.

Oh, yeah. That's nuts. Yeah, that's a lot. DKNG. Enjoy the epi. Did you ever watch that kevin hart thing wait his like his like i'm a sorry documentary yeah yeah yeah or something like that it was just there was just a kind of hilarious part where his wife is like uh he cheated on me two times that's strike one

i swear it's like a direct quote from her. She says, he cheated on me twice, that's strike one. Damn. You know he's in the background going, I wish she said 200. Yeah, yeah. That's strike one. He cheated on me twice, that's strike one. That documentary is so nuts because it feels just like another thing that he's shooting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, of course he's in control of it. No, I mean just like, because it feels like everything Kevin Hart does, he just like, he just does it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course he's in control of it. It's just like another project that's just... No, I mean just like... Because it feels like everything Kevin Hart does, he just does it. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't feel like there's a lot of like, this is really important to me. Yeah, no shit.

I'm going to make some effort here. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was a whole section about making a deal with Chase. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what the fuck? What is going on? You know, he was just having phone calls.

It's like, yeah, I think I can fit in the I'm sorry doc like first two weeks of November. Yeah, yeah, I think I can fit in the I'm sorry doc, like, first two weeks of, like, November. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, I'm on the road. Yeah, I'm on the road. Yeah, and then he sees it live without watching. He's like, what the fuck? My wife's talking about me cheating on her.

Like, we sent you the edit. We asked you to approve, and you fucking did. Shit. I was doing a movie with Rock then. I love how she says twice. Yeah, I swear she said that. Can you imagine? Oh, you caught one of the most famous people

on earth twice? It was something like she forgave him for the first one and then he did it again. That's her logic. At some point, you just have to go this is either I'm going to accept my fate and this is the life I'm going to live, with all this money.

You're right. Yeah. And access. But then you go, why not just divorce? You're going to get half of a billion dollars. I'm sure she signed something that's just. Yeah. Kevin Hart's pretty savvy.

I think he's not going to let her get away with it. True. A nickel. Yeah. I don't know. And I bet there's a lot tied up in just being Kevin Hart's wife. I think she's like a politician. She's like Hillary Clinton. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,'t know. And I bet there's a lot tied up in just being Kevin Hart's wife. I think she's like a politician. She's like Hillary Clinton.

Yeah. Yeah, she's just like... Oh, she rapes children and kills them? I bet she eats babies. Yeah. I follow way too many conspiracy things now, because I just click on them and I think they're interesting for a bit. Yeah.

But now my algorithm's all like... There's apparently this video of Hillary and somebody else in the dark web killing and sexually brutalizing a child. What? And there's comments like, under, like, seeing it, you do not want to see it. It's hell. And I'm like, well, yeah, now I want to see it. Right.

But then I'm like, how do you get to the dark web? Oh, yeah, it's hard. It's not on that F1 loop. Like, I don't know how to get to it. What's the dark web? It's like, if Hillary Clinton is raping a child, is it still kiddie porn or is that yeah and who's public is this investigative journalism or am i just a freak i did it for the podcast i mean i can't believe that would be out there i mean i don't know

i've seen a lot of AI deep fakes recently that look very convincing are you going down that I'm not kidding you this was my this is where I came to I summarized AI being progressively advanced in the last

few years alongside the fear of all these politicians being outed You summarized AI being progressively advanced in the last few years. Yeah. Alongside the fear of all these politicians being outed. Yeah. And they can just go, oh, that's AI. Oh, that's very convenient. Like pushing, putting a shitload of money into the AI performance. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. And progressiveness and just going, that's clearly not me. Right. Oh, yeah. It's a snuff film. It might be real. What the fuck are you doing? You could have just said, can's clearly not me. It's a snuff film. It might be real.

What the fuck are you doing? You could have just said, can you lower the volume? Also, you pushed it down a half an inch. Was it too high? It was blocking my head? Oh, yeah. What the hell? Jesus Christ. All this child porn talk's got him fired up. You're getting fired up.

All this Hillary Clinton talk got him going. Shave that mustache. I want to see that mouth. I want to fucking see that fucking thing. Hearing that in a Boston accent is nuts. Yeah, let me see your fucking mouth. Let me see your fucking mouth. Oh, fuck, kid.

Let me see your fucking mouth. Sorry, Artie. I don't want to do it. Oh, I don't want to make fun of you. They will just chalk it up to AI. And then a lot of times it will be AI. And you'll just be like, I'm not. Yeah, that's the thing, too. Like, the misinformation. Like, you think it's bad now. Or it up to AI. And then a lot of times it will be AI. Yeah, that's the thing too.

The misinformation. You think it's bad now. Or it's just bots. It's like imagine now this Russia farm has access to perfect deepfakes. Here's an idea for technology. And all these autistic fucking Japs. Dude, I swear. If deepfake gets that good,

the amount of model trains I will buy. Because I just won't want to look at it. Yeah, you'll just be like, I'm painting airplanes. There has to be a company right now, seeing the future of AI, causing a disruption in society. Yeah. You know?

Rerouting you from what's real and what's not. Yeah. In an attempt to just send you down a fucking loop. Most people, the way your parents are getting fucking routed right now from Nigerians and spam calls. yeah oh that's our future our future is ai yes is that my niece calling me yes at 7-eleven really needing yeah yeah the next the future of technology should there should be a company right now startup trying to decipher what's real and what's not so you can just throw it through. Yeah, it's like the biggest booming thing right now is cybersecurity.

Yeah, but that's on a government level. What about just you and I? I think they work for, yeah, probably personal stuff or whatever residential or corporate shit is. But it'll get so good that you can't tell the difference. There's got to be something in the code of it. I don't know technology well enough to. I don't either.

It's the fun part. I'm spit I don't either It's the fun part That's the fun part Just winging it Yeah Hillary's a murderer Child rapist Right So much more fun

Than knowing technology I mean the porn's gonna be unreal Yeah It's gonna be unbelievable I just hope my bird works by that time You'll have enough science to keep that thing going Probably Yeah

Same feeling Or you think it's gonna be like 20% of your bird feel? I hope they go up. Whoa. Maybe fucking, there's a pill you can take that restores your nerve endings in the tip of your dick.

Oh, it puts the tip of your dick back on. Yeah. It just grows your foreskin out again. Yeah. It just comes back. Yeah. You just 3D print a hood for your dick. That would be sick.

That would be sick, dude. You could customize it yeah they have those eagles they have like fake foreskins that you could buy and like put on yeah you put like a little eagle eagles logo yeah let's go the cusker got one of these forever ago and like put it on and like wore it for while. Because I made this joke to Gardini and he was like, man, I had one of those. It keeps the head of your dick moist. What? Yeah. The foreskin is a pussy.

No, but there's also... How is the foreskin a pussy? It does. You mean pussy lips? It is like a pussy. It just keeps it damp and warm. Yeah, that's also why Jews have disgusting tips of bird.

What? We all have that. No, bacteria. They cut it off. They cut theirs off. I just wanted to give a jab. Also cut the Jew thing. No, but I've heard if you're not clean, it's easier to have an infection because the heat, bacteria gets in there.

That's why they started cutting it off. But now the argument is now with like Western medicine in 2023, 2024 or whatever that you don't really need to do that. Right. Of course. Well, we've modernized. Yeah, but also like a bath. Taking a bath cures it yeah they they had the technology to cut the tip of your dick off but not to bathe yeah this is where

they land yeah yeah but it's also i think it grows wrong and sometimes it's too tight it's like if you know there's like if you had natural gloves you know what i mean it's like there'd be yeah i got a small medium i need a medium large yeah yeah and it'd be so tight on your hands. Yeah, you piss all over the trip. Well, doesn't it unfold as you get a boner? Yeah, it just comes out. Yeah. That's weird. I was stumbling across that on porn.

Really? What do you mean? Just a natural hog, like a non-snipped. Just in regular pornography. And you're like, whoa, okay. That's what a natural hog, like a non-snipped. Yeah. Just in regular pornography. And you're like, whoa, okay. That's what a human penis looks like. Yeah. It's like kind of vile.

So who still has the hoods? Just, I don't know, most. I think Protestants, like the French. Yeah. I think British people, too. Europe, Europeans do. For some reason, it's more, in terms of Western countries, I think it's more popular here than Europe.

Is that because of our religious affiliations are more intense? I don't know what it is. I heard it was from World War II. What happened? Just like all the guys serving in the Pacific and shit came back and they were like, this has got to cut this shit off. Oh, really? It's fucking a nightmare.

Fire ants in there? They're just on the front for so long. I thought they just felt so bad for the Jews that they're like, let's, we'll all do that as well. We'll start doing that too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's the fist up. They see the camps and they're like,

we'll cut it off. Yeah. It was the 80 Olympics. Out of respect, we'll also cut the tips of our baby's dicks off. It's solidarity. We'll get to Israel

and we'll cut the tips of our dicks. Yeah. Oh my God. Two part plan. Two for one. But the priests over there, in solidarity we'll get you Israel and we'll cut the tips of our teeth yeah the two oh my god two part plan two for one but the priests over there they eat them too they bite them

they chew it off and shit they bite them I think they suck the blood they suck the blood they help it like coagulate shut the fuck up yeah yeah

there's that thing where they give them herpes on accident sometimes yeah you get a rabbi with a cold sore yeah that's so gross

suck it a trainee's dick in a Roy Rogers yeah and then they're like shit I have that thing on accident sometimes. You get a rabbi with a cold sore. Yeah. That's so gross. Sucking a trainee's dick in a Roy Rogers. Yeah. And then they're like, shit, I have that thing after that. Yeah. I forgot.

Oh, damn it. I double booked. Shouldn't have done all those at the same day. Just my luck. How about fucking Carl Weathers dying?

Yeah, rest in peace to Carl Weathers, man. Took one for the team his whole peace to Carl Weathers, man. yeah. Took one for the team his whole life. Could be good, though. He what? Rocky IV was the best Rocky.

He died in that. Rocky IV was the best Rocky. I'm not going to argue that. Yeah. I'm not going to argue that. Oh, dude, Rocky IV.

Does he got a double montage? Oh my goodness. There's a montage where he's like working out and getting in shape but something's wrong His wife isn't there And then she shows up And then it goes back into the montage

And he's working out even better Adrian shows up? I'm assuming it's Adrian 41325 6 can get dick herpes Yeah That's the one with Michael B. Jordan or something.

Are you talking about Creed? Creed, yeah. Creed 1 I heard was good. It was fun. I think Creed 1 was alright. Creed 2 was bad and it didn't really make sense. Actually, the one summer I worked as a bartender, they were filming

I want to say Rocky 6 or not 5 it was 2008 I'm sorry it was 2006 so whatever they were filming that got released in 2007 and what's his face the fat wop would come in for lunch every day

James Gandolfini no what the fuck is his name fat wop would come in for lunch every day. James Gandolfini? No. What the fuck is his name? Why am I... Fat Wap. Fat Wap, I'm trying to think. Like the old drunk. The brother?

The bald old drunk. The brother. Yeah. Adrian's brother? Yes. Oh, I don't know his name. What's his name? I have no clue.

What the fuck? Sorry. I forget his name. This is going to piss people off. Tony? No. Vinny? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, he was the sweetest dude. He would just sit in the corner, Sorry, I forget this is gonna know people off Tony. No Vinnie Have like three martinis

They wouldn't even eat anything. We just get pickled. Oh, dude Nice, just me on a Wednesday with the Sun coming through it. Is he dead now for I think he recently died You know who I'm looking for? Bert, you know, Paul. You know what I'm talking about? He's like, is this not retirement? You know what I'm talking about? This is not retirement. Maybe it is. It's Paulie.

Paulie. Paulie. It wasn't E. We were close. Vinny, Richie, Tony. Vinny and Tony and Richie, we were close. Yeah, he died. Paulie.

Paulie. He died in 2023. Damn. You made a long time, dude. Was he in his 70s? That's 83 years old. That's pretty good. 73, sorry. Yeah. 53? He was around 50 he in his 70s that's 83 years old that's pretty good 73 sorry

yeah 53 he was around 50 60 no it's 83 I just remember 83 I just remember in Rocky 1

I like the last time I rewatched it the scene was so funny cause they just they like describe why the movie's gonna be popular in the movie oh yeah when they're like pitching the fight

like when they're pitching to have Rocky fight oh yeah Carl Weathers they're like they're pitching the fight. When they're pitching to have Rocky fight Carl Weathers, they're like, who wouldn't watch this? It's a hardworking, blue-collar Italian guy fighting a loudmouthed, loudmouthed black guy. That's literally how they pitch the fight to the promoters.

It's genius. It's actually genius. Yeah, it still holds up. This is the fight they're going to want to see. He has an autistic girlfriend. It all adds up. It's in South Philly. He eats eggs for some reason. He drinks eggs for a while. That's a big part of it.

I was watching that and laughing, just thinking about him chugging those raw eggs. Then he goes for a five-mile jog. He's going to puke and have diarrhea. Fucking 20 steps into this. chugging those raw eggs and then he goes for like a five mile jog yeah like a meat like he's gonna just like puke and have diarrhea like fucking 20 steps into this i'm like what are you doing that happened to me i was like so uh i took a year off from college and i got really fat and out of shape your parents let you just take a year off from college uh yeah i was i was going to pieces they were like okay oh yeah oh my god it's just like

watching intervention when they allow their heroin daughter to just chill in the basement get on the f1 track or go to college well this was this was like this was probably like the first three or four months that i was like taking the year off where i just like completely unraveled yeah and uh and i was like one day i said it's just like completely unraveled. Yeah. And, uh, and I was like, one day I said, it's like,

I'm not drinking anymore. I'm going to get in shape. And I remember I woke up at like fucking 5. A.M. I ate two bowls of cereal and then went for a job. So I literally was like college dropout. I was literally like a mile away from home on this run and like i could the milk had just been getting like shooken up as i'm running you get three cups of milk i straight up like ass clench duck walk back like a mile home i like i've never

that was climbing everest i was like i was was literally, I can't believe I did not shit my pants. It's a recipe for diarrhea. Completely. I just can't imagine my parents saying yes to that. And then every day coming home from like a hard day's work and just seeing. Like what'd you do today? Like just, I was sad and sad. So you did nothing.

Good. Yeah. That would make you something to Good. Did you eat? I would beat the fuck out of that kid. Because you're an idiot. But they were supportive and smart. I actually got in insanely good shape and then

completely turned my life around. Everything actually worked out. On the honor roll every time when I was back in school. I would have beat him in a career he doesn't want. Had like a fantastic season. Went to the conference championship.

Are you saying you took time off out of college to get back in shape? Just get my head right. First leaf. You can customize your own wines delivered to your door. Hassle free. You go through this process. You click I like Cabern delivered to your door. Hassle free. You go through this process. You click.

I like Cabernet's. I like a dark red. I like something dry. I like Pinot. I like light. I like sparklings. This wine is white. This wine is medium.

Medium plus body. It smells like a frog's ass. That's why alcohol is medium. Well, that's what it's trying to do. It's trying to get away from the pretentiousness of sobs. It's very easy. Just click what you like. They deliver it to your door based on your recommendations and preferences.

There's no gas on this wine. I'm detecting notes of decaying strawberries. The sweat underneath my aunt's tit in a barbecue. This is mulch. This is unhealthy mulch. This is dead mulch. I always like to aunt's tit in a barbecue. This is mulch. This is unhealthy mulch. This is dead mulch.

I always like to start the year with something new, so this year I'm moving to Austin and dumping my girlfriend. Nice. No, I'm kidding. I'm expanding my palate by trying new wines with First Leaf. With personalized wines and convenient shipping, First Leaf makes it easy to explore new wines from around the world. I love First Leaf

because they make it easy to get, obviously, but if you're not a connoisseur even like a low level connoisseur you need a little assistance so you just put your profile in there what you typically like and they go here's something from south america here's something from australia something you probably wouldn't ever try that's nice because you get locked in that's like you did for sincera for months and months yeah yeah and i tried to push you out of that and go look try this it's kind of like it try a dry reese things nice there you go you get tired of everything you know sooner or later you're gonna need something fresh to get a tailored box of wines from first leaf all i had to do was answer

some quick questions about my likes dislikes on their website and their expert team selected a customized assortment of world-class wines based on my preferences. Since First Leaf delivers personalized wines right to my door, I can kick back and try new wines from the comfort of my cozy couch, the one I beat off on, priced lower than what I pay at the wine store. Try something new this year with First Leaf. Go to tryfirstleaf.com to sign up, and you'll get your first six hand-cured bottles for just $44.95. That's T-R-Y-F-I-R-S-T-L-E-A-F dot com slash stuff island. Try firstleaf.com slash stuff island. Yeah, and if you get some wine, you're going to want some food to go with it.

You know, it's like if you give a mouse a cookie. Transition army, baby. Or a mousse of muffin. You're blowing me up right now. Yeah, yeah. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients,

and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit.

Guys, you know, we've talked about it before. HelloFresh is amazing. It's legit. Fresh ingredients delivered right to your door.'s a relationship saver yeah i'm a purist i want you to go to the grocery store and get all the stuff but i get it yeah you got a hectic schedule i have time for that you got a nine to five three kids send a box of all the things i need plus this helps this helps because it's like you fucking get shallots right in the thing

you don't know what shallots look like until someone labels it and hands it to you yeah so excuse me where are the shallots and then guys like shallot yeah yeah they what they what they shallot then you realize how good they taste after you had your hello fresh and you start you start you go to the grocery store with an action plan you're like where are my fucking shallots dude how great when you interrupt like a manager yeah at c-town you're like where's the clam juice and he's like seven aisle seven top left three rows over and you're like holy shit i know it really is the inventory this guy's got in his mind he probably forgets his wife's name there's no fucking room left he downloaded all his cpu storage this guy sweats and he's like ah

beef stock dried cubes aisle eight to the right up top that's what i that's also what i like about that is it means that they haven't moved things around in a while i hate when grocery stores move things i think your girlfriend just fell no yeah she just fell on her head. You have a disease. He thinks she does. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Stuff Island Free and use code Stuff Island Free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box

while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash Stuff Island Free with code Stuff Island Free. Yeah. So you went to rehab at home? Yeah, well, I didn't, like, go to rehab.

I just lived at home. I know, but that's essentially what you did. I worked for a skateboard company. Sick. Very cool. That had to raise eyebrows, too. Learned how to skateboard. And then I was building skateboard racks in my basement.

Nice. Sick. What's a rack? It was just like a rack for skateboards. Like you put them into? Yeah, yeah. Oh, to hold skateboards. I was doing like carpentry, yeah, in the basement.

Yeah. It was sick. That's wild. Yeah. And then just running. It's so funny you got jacked, became a carpenter. Dude, in the summer. That's literally what I did.

Tommy's like, I would have been screaming. Oh, my did Tommy's like I would've been screaming oh my god yeah I would've been fucking kicking your ass I would've fucking what are you making racks

what are these what's this gay paradise for skateboarders what are you role blading your ferry what are you doing that was dope oh my god

the conversation I was doing nuts stuff where like every time every time it would thunderstorm I'd go yes and I'd go out on a run and just run in like in hellish thunderstorms.

It was so sick. You're fucking crazy. That's insane. It was fucking awesome. Your parents had Carmela and Anthony Soprano conversations in bed about you every night. Just like, I don't know what to do. I'm trying to tell you. Oh, yeah, 100%.

It's just a cage. 100%. It's just a cage. 100%. But even when I called my coach and I was like, I think I'm going to take a year off, he was like, I think that's a really good idea. Really? Yeah, yeah. So you really fucked up at practice and stuff?

Yeah, yeah. It was just like, yeah. You were just really depressed? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like, I was 100. If I like had a gun, I would have killed myself. Jeez.

Do you think it's, what year of college? Sophomore? It was junior year. And it was like, there was 100. If I like had a gun, I would have killed myself. Jeez. Do you think it's, uh, what, what year of college? Sophomore? It was junior year. And there was like, there was the thing. It was like, I was like, the season was over and I was like, holy fuck, dude. I've like one season left. My whole life has just been focused on like playing lacrosse. Oh, that sucks.

And like, now I'm just going to what? Like be a business person. Yeah. What the fuck is that? And I was like, my brother's friends was, were like also like out of college. And I was like seeing what they were doing and like just getting fat and becoming business people.

And I was just like, holy fuck, dude, I'm like not ready for this. I also like really wanted to do standup. And, but I was like, I'm such a coward.

I'm not going to do it. Yeah. And like, so do you think that, that kind of, cause it's more about, cause I went through a bunch of this, but it wasn't until after college,

like during college, you, you can't, you can't think that you're going to have a successful life in lacrosse. That's like, that's like being in the NFL in the seventies. You had like, you had to be a carpenter too.

Yeah. Like they're not making a lot of money. No, but you but it was still like i have to change yeah yeah there was still like i don't know it's like you leave high school it's still like i'm going to play college i'm playing college lacrosse at the highest level like i'm like in the that sustains you for a couple years where you're like i'm still playing with the best players in the world right now. This is cool. And you still have that vision of like, I'll get better, I'll get better, I'll get better.

Because you have to. Yeah, and you kind of have that feeling like, I don't know. It's purposeful. Like at some point, you'll really like move to the next level and be one of the like truly elite players in the league and then you're like i don't know i was just like staring down the barrel of my senior year being like i'm not really one of those guys yeah like i'm pretty good but i'm never going to be at the level what are the greatest players doing now they're like playing professionally

okay they're like an american league they're like the best best guys make good money yeah like most that's like sponsorship money though yeah yeah most of the league is getting paid probably like 30 or 40 000 oh geez yeah that's brutal like yeah yeah that's brutal um but it's like yeah there was still just like i don't know it would be like if you're like an elite wrestler or something it's like you're not really gonna do much after that yeah but it's just like you're like an elite wrestler or something it's like you're not really gonna do much after that yeah but it's just like you're wrestling with the best wrestlers yeah if you're division one wrestler you're you're wrestling against the best wrestlers and like in the country yeah yeah yeah and that's what motivates you but then you start going like i'm kind of a middle of the road

guy and this is going to be over at some point and you have nothing because if you have like such a driven purpose for one thing and then you realize like well this ends when i'm 22 exactly technically you are correct i'm an idiot about that because you your parents did the right thing because i was talked out of going to art school yeah yeah i was talked into going to drexel right had a baseball scholarship for d. He was like, no, you're going to do engineering instead. Really? I was like, what? You're going to play D1 baseball and went to art school and they talked you out of both?

Yeah. Damn. That sounds so fun. So the opposite side of the coin is why I'm telling him he's a fucking idiot. He's telling me I'm an idiot. But he actually did the right thing. I'm going to call my dad as soon as he says. Hey, fuck fakes, I'm moving to Austin.

Yeah, yeah. I sent my mom a link because we've been like the ships of the night kind of thing that I haven't talked to in a bit. And I just sent her a link to the house I signed. And it just, it shows like the, you know, the address. It says Austin, Texas. She just goes, what's this? And then I had to take a call for like 15 minutes. Yeah.

I just left her on read with an Austin home. And then I came back and was like, it's my new house. Yeah. We're moving in a month. Yeah. I'll call you later. And then the pod started. She's going nuts right now.

Five years is's gonna be like The jungle in Guatemala Yeah I'm just gonna tell my dad I'm going to art school In Austin I'm gonna play D1 ball Yeah

UT Yeah Yeah I'm a 17th year freshman Yeah They had no idea That yeah An art degree

Would have been sicko mode Well before And you'd be passionate about it. You could make so much money off graphics. No, it was before graphics design. So this is 2000. They had no idea that was coming. It was 1998 when I had to accept where I was going to go to school.

So there was no digital arts. Right, right. And my dad literally drove me around. I got accepted to University of the Arts in Philly. What's the other one? There's like two big art schools there. Uh, it starts with an M.

It starts with an M. It doesn't matter. But I literally took a giant cardboard folder of all my like basement drawings. Yeah. And everybody in front of me like went to like, they had like art school and in high school. Yeah. They're like art class. And they had like professors that were like legitimate artists and i was like looking

at their stuff because it was like a sign up like you can you can get in yeah just show me your stuff and i got in and i was like this is incredible my dad's my dad's response was what are you gonna do fucking boardwalk paint uh because at that time yeah there's no right you're going to work at gap right yeah and do caricatures in wildwood yeah craft jobs in if you're a good artist it's like well yeah but you can't tell a fucking a poor death father of three that was one of nine yeah yeah family's a wreck he made it out of the muck yeah yeah i made it through high school your dad was one of nine yeah damn family's a wreck he made it out of the muck yeah yeah i made it through high school your dad was one of nine yeah damn my dad too yeah yeah how many your mother got four

shoot my mom's got 11 damn hundreds of cousins yeah me too huge family it's kind of it's not to none of them yeah i don't i don't i talked to a few of them not too many though here and there catholic probably couldn't even talk to that many of them while Yeah, I don't. I don't. I talked to a few of them. Not too many, though. Here and there. Catholic. Probably couldn't even talk to that many of them while you were living with them. That's like a lot of people. It's a lot of people. That's like a graduating class. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it is. We have like two 13 years. We had two 15 in a year. They were all my cousins. We had the Pope section so long. Wait Wait did they grow up in Florida? Yeah Well my My mom was born here

She was born in Flushing until she was like Eight or nine and then moved here And then my dad was born in Ithaca And then moved down here when he was like Five or six And then they're all French Catholic My dad's side They were Moroccan Colonists five or six yeah and then they're all french catholic my dad's side all they were moroccan

yeah colonists really they got kicked out of morocco for some reason wow yeah yeah and then they ended up in ithaca and he was like a milk he was like a moroccan blood in your he was a milk farmer or like a milk uh something he worked on a dairy. However you want to say it. Yeah, dairy farmer. Yeah, yeah. Milk farmer. Yeah. He worked on a dairy. Whatever. He worked on a fucking dairy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he ended up coming down here in the 50s. My grandpa with like fucking nine kids. My grandpa also married. His first wife is my great aunt who died. This is in Algeria or Morocco. Wait. Hold on. first wife is my great aunt who died this is in algeria morocco wait hold on your grandfather married my great aunt who died and then just married my grandma so isn't that her sister that's crazy her sister so niece-in-law no no that would be his sister-in-law he married

get the white floyd he married his wife's sister yeah okay yeah yeah because because she died okay they had three kids who are my uh you know aunts and uncles and then had six more with right my grandma it's kind of a crazy man up philosophy crazy dude and it's like if you look at the timeline you're like they're not that much older or younger it was like, if you look at the timeline, you're like, they're not that much older or younger. It was like, they must have gotten married three months after she died. Yeah. They're like, holy fucking shit. It's kind of like my brother's scenario with me. At least the 40s in Algeria, I don't think they were thinking about, it probably wasn't weird at all.

Yeah. Was that written into like the marriage contract? Yeah, yeah. It's like, I get first rights. First rights refusal of a sister. And by the way, dibs. Sign here. There's a dibs clause.

In the 50s, you still have that caveman mentality. All you got to do is... They didn't give a shit about anything. Hit this chick in the back of the head at the church with a shovel. She's mine now. They're like French Catholics. Catholics don't give a shit about that kind of thing. They're just popping out a million kids.

Whatever. And if a guy's good, you're in a small town shit about that kind of thing. Yeah. Popping out a million kids, you know, whatever. And if a guy's good, you know, you're in a small town. Yeah, he was a good guy. There's like three good guys. Top tier. It's like, dude,

just take that. He's like, probably, that was great. You know him. Yeah. Yeah. He was a really smart guy. The family knows him.

Everybody knows him. Yeah, yeah. Dude, my grandpa was fucking, he was crazy. I mean, he was way into like Rush Limbaugh, like thick French accent. He's like,

I live Rush Limbaugh. Yeah. He. He's like, I live in Rush Limbaugh. He's a genius. He voted for Trump before he passed. He got to do that. That's good. Good for him. That makes sense. French are that way, aren't they?

They hate. They don't like errors. That's what I asked him. I dropped a pillow. That sounded like a rainstorm. They hate They don't like errors Revolutionary Yeah But that's what I asked him Why oh shit I dropped the pillow Dude that I was like Is your cat

I thought a dog Was gonna come Just a French dog Smoking a cigarette Someone say it I thought you were Changing topics And giving us

A nice transition To the next subject No I asked him why That's NPR audio I asked him why that's NPR audio I asked him why I go why did you vote for Trump he goes this country needs a civil war

yeah he was like we're too divided we need a civil war we need to figure out the way everybody stands also you're within a few years of death

yeah I'm trying to create havoc yeah he's trying to mess I'm voting for whoever's gonna fuck shit up yeah cause he. I mean, yeah, he has no skin in the game. Yeah Yeah, yeah, people are like Oh global warming first one not real Secondly, even if it was I'm like, I'm not gonna be around my dad. I'll be around who gives you shit I mean it depends on the numbers. I don't even know

There's people who are like in 27 years. It's gonna explode the whole world Well, you know like there's some people believe that and yeah, 27 years, it's going to explode the whole world. There's some people who believe that, and there's other people who are like, it's definitely changing, but it's not a gradual enough change to really. And you're like, I don't fucking. They're looking at ice cores. You're like, am I supposed to understand the ice core? He's showing me an ice core, and you go, look at the data of this. I'm like, what the fuck?

I don't fucking. There's too much carbon in the ice core. Imagine how many. I'm way too dumb to understand this. There's no way I'll ever understand. Someone's like, carbon comes from other places, and this has happened before. how many, like, I'm way too dumb to understand this. There's no way I'll ever understand. When someone's like, carbon comes from other places and this has happened before

and you're like, okay. I don't fucking know, dude. Like, Pangea, there wasn't even ice in Pangea. And you're like,

fuck, I don't fucking. Oh, yeah. I mean, when RFK was on Rogan's and he was like, Wi-Fi kills you, it's like,

I have none of the tools necessary to even begin you begin to evaluate that claim right that's my whole thing i have no idea if that's that's my whole thing with people like who really like this have like this massive distaste for rfk which i understand i guess if he's really if you're really whatever if he's too anti-science i don't fucking know but like the things he's talking about, I have no idea what he's saying. I'm like, how can you interpret him saying something and go, that's a bunch of bullshit?

I'm like, what's a spike protein? I have no fucking clue. You could explain it to me three times, I would not get in. I don't know what that is. And then he spends 90 minutes on Rogan talking about it. And you're like, what a crackpot guy. What are you talking about?

mRNA. I'm like, I don't know what that shit is yes how are you as there's no way you're better educated on this i know you just have to not give a fuck yeah yeah i mean but yeah bunker down whatever little territory you have and just never let it go have fun yeah you got it like you are yeah you're like soldier in the you just got to take the hill. Yeah. Someone's like, this war is bullshit. It's like, we have to take this hill.

Yeah. Get my back. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. There's no. It doesn't matter if this is bullshit or not. Yeah. Those people want to kill us.

Yeah, that's a great point. If you're already there, yeah. If you're doing Hamburger Hill in fucking Vietnam. And then you're like. Yeah, of course you have to do it. But if you're not at the hill yet, you just go, I don't figure it out themselves. What's going to happen?

That's what I'm saying. You got to treat your immediate group of friends and family the same. It's like, these are the people I'm taking care of. That's what I need to focus on. I can't worry about mRNA and whether it's real or not. Yeah, exactly. Or not real or not. That pack of cousins. A genuine thing to worry

about. Yeah. It gets dwindled down. So the pack of 100 cousins gets dwindled down to like two. Yeah. You're like, I'll take care of them if I have to. Yeah. And then you have an immediate family that gets dwindled down to half. And you all take care of them. And then you have your own family. You're like, that's who I'm going to take care of. Yeah.

Anybody else can take a fucking hacksaw to the neck. Yeah. I want to have a fucking hacksaw to the neck. Yeah. I want to have a comfortable car, comfortable couch, and enjoy my living. Yeah. Fuck every politician. Well, it's in the realm of your control. Huh? Yeah, yeah. It's how you can actually control it.

You can actually have input on it. Well, people think they can control the government. They can't. Of course not. It doesn't matter who. You're just going to find some actor who's a pundit. Go back to Reagan. It's like, you want a're just going to find some actor who's a pundit. That's what like the, go back to Reagan. It's like,

you want a nice face like an Obama, somebody that's charming, a little younger than fucking 78. Yeah. Yeah, give me something nice to look at. You're so cute up there. Does it matter?

Yeah, they all are crazy looking. We talk about, you shouldn't be, you shouldn't be able to be a president if you're older than 50 years old. Yeah. There's a bunch of people out there. Maybe. Oh, let's say play how old is rfk he's on he's on trt he

looks great yeah have you seen him shirtless doing push-ups yeah yeah he's like totally he's just fucking bruce springsteen or whatever the fuck yeah he's just doing his how do you get that fucking star wars voice dude It's a nerve disorder. Nerve disorder where he has spasms in his larynx. Oh, really? So crap. Yeah. Probably.

His throat broke. You see, he should be a throat queen of Hollywood. Okay, bubbling down his neck. He's like, I learned from black strippers. I'm going to bubble up. Yeah, that's what kept him alive. I tried to make it sloppy. I couldn't quite make it sloppy enough.

Anyway, let's go back to peptides. If he wasn't vaccinated, he'd... That was just a time in my life that I thought I could do. I never tried that fucking maniac before. It sounds good. He always sounds like he's inhaling when he talks. He's like, I don't like that. It sounds like he's burping beer and smoking weed at the same time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like... It sounds like he's burping beer and smoking weed at the same time. That's why he'll never win. Regardless of his crazy vax takes. You can't listen to that every day. Nah, you can't do it. But he should get a Vader mask. That would be cool. He had a Bane mask. Yeah, and he turned it into a normal voice.

Yeah, that'd be crazy. Take his Bane voice into a normal voice. He has to wear the Bane mask. He has the Bane mask, so he's like, all right. Everyone's like, I like this guy now. I don't like to address you today because it's a good day. He's like doing the weather. No, he rocks.

He does rock. I mean, I do like his economic things or whatever from what he's talked about. I like that younger Indian cat, too. Vivek? Yeah. He's kind of goofy to me. They're all goofy. I'm just saying Vivek's such a cool guy.

He's got passion. He's gay. When I say I like him, I don't know anything about him. His running thing is basically like... He's trying to do Trump. He's trying, exactly. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

He's just trying to do Trump, and then he really wants to do Trump he's trying exactly oh really so bad he's just trying to do Trump and then he really wants to be his VP and you can tell he's just really on his hands and knees for 45 damn

and 47 yeah you can't like yeah Trump's just got he's got the perfect he's got it so dialed in that like

he can say stuff but you don't really feel like he means it and it's funny it's like it's a whole mix Vivek's too like his means it. And it's funny. It's like it's a whole mix. Vivek's too, like his eyes are too like. He's not funny.

He's too alive in the face. Yeah. To pull off. He's like 39. Yeah, I was going to say. He still thinks he can go through that system at that age. Yeah. He's got to lose seven times.

I'm pretty sure he utterly scammed his way into being. Not that this is new for a politician. You never lied on your resume? Yeah. Well, I heard what he did was he faked Alzheimer's meds working and then did like a pump and dump so like he owned a company where he went i have this alzheimer's stuff it's really good and then he knew that it wasn't and then it went way up and then he sold it all and then he sold it away and then the company new owners of the company were like this these drugs don't work but that shouldn't be an obstacle

i mean trump had had the steak company. I know, I know. He made a college that was fake. The problem is that... Fake college is so funny. Dude, Trump University? He's got NFTs now. The problem is... Have you seen the playing cards? Is this real? Yeah, yeah. The Trump playing cards

are like NFT playing cards. It's like him jacked. You know, it's like it's him with an eagle on his shoulder you know it's it's kind of sick yeah they're like holographic pokemon trump cards and and you can buy a digital picture of them for 12 grand yeah that should be like you got to just if you're thinking about running for a candidate you got to like just say in front of your little focus group you got to like make fun of, just make fun of John McCain. Yeah.

And wishing that he was dead. And see if that plays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if it doesn't, you can't run. Did he do the arm thing? Did he make fun of his arms? Yeah. Well, he was like.

He said it. He was like, he was, yeah, he was talking about McCain and they were like, they were like, that's a fucking prisoner of war. War hero, yeah. War hero.

He's like, you got shot down. I like people that don't get shot down. That's such a hilarious. He's like, you got shot down. I like people that don't get shot down. That's such a hilarious... I wouldn't have gotten caught. What? He gave up a lot of secrets. I heard he talked.

Yeah. Dude, his rotator cuff was singed because he was in a bamboo cave. Now he can't move his arms. Yeah With sins because he was in a bamboo Now he can't move his arms. Yeah Like straight up like Monty Python the Holy Grail When they're doing the Knights of the Round Table. I love that scene. McCain's daughter didn't do him any favors. Everybody was... She was a yapper.

The view. If you're on the view. Imagine. Yeah. The view sucks. It's unimaginable. I don't think it's for us. True.

We are the target market for it We're not remotely the target market It's annoying women who stay at home all day Like middle aged women Who don't have jobs and they're like Yeah okay Sort of brainless A realization where it's like I'm enjoying the view

Something's gone horribly wrong Yeah I mean this is a level of self consciousness They could never aspire to Yeah I don i'd say if some point in my life if i was like found myself like thoroughly enjoying like a tyler perry movie i would be like okay i need to i need to change what's going on yeah yeah that happened to me the other day look at my schedule i was like i i didn't finish it but it was was during the holidays, like that Eddie Murphy movie came out. There was like this dumb Eddie Murphy movie where he like enters into like a Christmas lights competition.

And I just, I turned it on ironically. And then like 15, 20 minutes in, I'm like. And then I'm like, what the fuck? I turned it off. I'm like, whoa, whoa, I can't. I can't do this. Hold on. Hold the fucking fort right now. What the hell is going on? It was good. It was funny. I was just like cracking up. I mean like, whoa, whoa, I can't. I can't do this. Hold on. Hold the fucking fort right now.

What the hell is going on? It was good. It was funny. I was just like cracking. I mean, it was just like dumb jokes. And it had a bunch of comedic actors that are really good. Like it had like. Probably is good.

Some people from the office, like Zach Woods guy, I think his name is. He was in Silicon Valley. He's like the creepy guy and everything. I'm like, the creepy guy always makes me laugh. He's just a funny, weird looking guy. Kind me it probably is funny yeah it's got that woman from workaholics who's always like a crazy lady and i'm like she's just kind of fun on screen i kind of get sucked into this dude i watched alice eddie murphy's man and uh tracy ellis ross too who's that just a beautiful old woman there you go beautiful beautiful that's that? Just a beautiful old woman. There you go.

Beautiful, beautiful. That's enough to keep it nice, huh? African queen. Yeah, she's lovely. Shout out Jill Biden. When there's a super hot woman in something, and you're like, this movie's terrible. I want to see where this goes.

I just want to see her on screen again, dude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's just like a really nice, she's just Eddie Murphy's wife. You're like, that must be nice. A woman so hot, you just want to smell her hair, and you'll be fine with it. Yeah.

I used to do that in college. Just go Just smell when I check it like the Irish pub When he's smelling me she doesn't know I just did it to make my boys Thank you Bud Lights You got something to plug kiddo? Oh yeah Rough Week is my podcast Check it out It's me and Luke Tuma

It's fucking fantastic You guys have done it You guys are great We gotta do it one more time Before we skedaddle Absolutely I would love that That would make me good

Actually Luke texted me Whatever But yeah We'll do it Yeah Rough Week that's it Really Fuck yeah That's it Chris Gene official on Instagram I would love that. That would make me good. Actually, Luke texted me. Whatever. But yeah, we'll do it. Yeah. Rough week. That's it, really. Fuck yeah.

That's it? Christian official on Instagram. I have some dates coming from the Midwest. Oh, hell yeah. Where you going? Doing Comedy Corner in Minneapolis, like the first or second weekend of March, and then Kansas City the next weekend. It's going to be cold, baby. It's going to be cold.

It's going to be cold. Yeah, Kansas City and Minnesota. Nice. Yeah, dude, we got tons of shit coming up. We're going to be in Houston, Dallas, Austin, Tampa, Raleigh, D.C., Richmond, Philly, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee, Providence, Boston, Portland, and more dates coming.

More dates coming. That's all April and May. We're going to be in those places, and we're going to be adding stuff on the West Coast and in the mountain regions and everywhere. So fucking stay tuned to that. Go to stuffislandpod.com. Hell yeah. Check out the live shows.

What are you, Foley? That was unbelievable. He nailed that. You've been practicing that? That was really good. Good thing you took a couple months off of college. Got your mind right. You had the lucidity to.