Stuff Island - Adam Rowe - Stuff Island #168

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

Adam Rowe joins this week's episode of Stuff Island. Adam Rowe is a stand up comic, host of Have a Word Podcast and can be seen preforming comedy all across the world. His newest special "What's Wrong With Me?" is available on Youtube Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor are reunited after being on the set of Netflix's Tires. Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Upgrade your wardrobe instantly and save 20% off with the code STUFFISLAND at https://www.publicrec.com/STUFFISLAND Unlock a healthier and easier way to eat by using Promo code "Stuff Island" at checkout for 15% off your first order at huel.com Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a hard-ass soundtrack is the gayest thing you could do right you know like I don't know sucking a dick sucking a dick

is probably worse the second gayest thing you could do lovingly kissing a man on the mouth while jerking him off depends if the

eagles win dude I'm sucking on somebody's bird no it's just you get in your head just going like well somebody's asking me to check the volume just that you get in your head. You're just going like, well, somebody's asking me to check the volume of my voice. I don't have anything to say.

So you can just go, check, hello. And then you look at everyone else in the room. Yeah, but you don't go, check, hello. You go, check, check. I know. You're trying to find your highest level. We got the levels right. This high time.

I usually just go. I think what feels gay about it is you try to do it in like a professional way. Yeah. Like you, there's some experienced way to do it. Yeah. And you're like, what would a comedian do? Which is the gayest thought. Yes.

Yeah. It's like taking a selfie. Like your face never looks. Cause you're like, this is the corniest thought, yes. Yeah, it's like taking a selfie. Like, your face never looks, because you're like, this is the corniest shit in the world. And then you take a picture, you're like, that's not how I look. Have any of your friends ever took a photo of you taking a selfie? No. Oh, it's the...

You'll never catch me taking a selfie. You never want to see yourself in that context. Like, I've been, like, backstage before, like, just checking, like, I'm not, like, covered in not covered in food or something before a show. And another comment was put on Instagram that I'm doing this in the dressing room. And then tagged me. And I've gone on stage for an hour and then come off.

And I'm like, thousands of people just hit me. I would be so mad. Our friend group group we know better you have to go into a locked bedroom or bathroom to check and see if you got shit on your face there's no fucking whipping it out just going zooming in on it

to see if it's boogers what are you checking your makeup and it cuts both ways I want to make sure I don't have boogers What are you checking your makeup? And it cuts both ways. Because you'd be like, I want to make sure I didn't have boogers. They'd be like, who gives a fuck about boogers? Just do the show with boogers. And then if you did the show with boogers on your face,

you did a show with boogers on your face. You fucking idiot. Why don't you just check in your camera? You can just check. We wouldn't have said anything to you. We check before every show. It's always the opposite of what they want out of you. No, it's any which way you lose.

Any self-respecting and group self-respecting group of boys, there's nothing you can do and get away with it. There's just fucking... Any subject, any fork in the road decision, you can either do A or B. You're either getting shit on for A or shit on for B. There's no winning. And that's how life is supposed to be.

Anyone who lets you get away with anything isn't a real friend. I mean... 100%. I know. I still need to push through that wall i will still stall out at that fork in the road instead of just being like whatever i do is gonna be fucked so i might as well just move on with my life yeah i mean how many outfits did you put on before and you were like this is the best i can look but then you think of your friends going so there's oh no there's four boys that i still talk to who like are like really good friends

man that i went to school with right so there's carl who's my best friend in the world he's the producer of our podcast and like a host as well like the third mike and then there's josh ryan and there's a guy called steve and steve's known as Dixon because it's a surname. And if I'm ever, like, out shopping with any of the others, and, like, I try on something that's anything other than, like, plain neutral colors, like anything that's got, like, a logo or a slogan on, like, if I'm, like, checking out, I'm like, I kind of like this. Someone will just be like, what would Dixon say?

And then it's like, no! Yeah. Dude, if you don't think I don't have shane in my skull fucking echoing forever yeah and it's as i'm rolling my pants you're shangling you're gonna roll your pants i can hear it in his fucking head it could be it's like as severe as like your buddy could be pulling into traffic about to get hit and you're like do i say something yeah yeah if i point out that car he's gonna be like i saw it it's gonna be all hell's gonna if we get hit he's gonna be like why didn't you say yeah yeah i didn't see it dude growing up my my brothers they would bust my tits so bad

that i would change sometimes i would take a pair of sneakers and put it in my school bag and then change my old sneaks out because I knew they would fuck with me. And I would dress myself in grade school and shit. And then as soon as I walked down the steps, they'd see like yellow Converse and I was just getting fucking just hammered with insults.

And then I would just feel bad about myself all day long. So as I got ready for school, I had something in mind for both of them knowing they're going to insult me. I was one in the fucking chamber. You know, I'd make fun of his fucking braces. The other one's fat. You know what I mean?

Some of us get insulted just because I want to wear my yellow sneakers, dude. Like Liverpool as a city, which is where I'm from in the UK, like has like its own rules with like fashion and how you act and how you behave and what you dress like. So like rolling your pants in Liverpool, not okay.

Yeah, of course. Like I'm getting a bit sick of it. Like as I get older, I'm like, I want to fucking roll my pants. I'm rolling my pants. But like there's certain things, like you can't wear white socks. You'll get like, you're fucking wearing white socks?

Yeah. And this is so hard to- Can you date a black girl? What? Can you date a black girl? white socks and like that you'll get like you're fucking wearing white socks yeah and there's this this is so hard can you date a black girl what can you date a black girl no only if your socks are white yeah there's a like this is gonna be so hard for me to contextualize for you right but i'm gonna have to give it how do they get all on the same page is there a magazine yeah and it's a perot like someone just has a way with you it's like don't fucking don't don't wear those things yeah i like i've so here's the thing there's a there's a soap opera in the uk it's been running for like 60 years it's called coronation mysteries there's a guy in it called ken barlow and i I can't tell you why. I don't know.

Like, again, I'm on the page, but I don't know why I'm on the page. If you wear white socks, people will call you Ken Barlow. And that's it. And you don't want to be called it. And I don't know why. And that's just the fucking thing, right? And then there's a friend of mine. He's another comic.

He's called Alfie. And he's from London. He's about to move to Liverpool. And he's a brilliant comic, but he's very posh, well-spoken and stuff. And a few years ago, we're doing a show around Christmastime, December, in this room in Liverpool. It holds about 600 people. It's full of, like, work parties,

like people are on, like, their Christmas staff night out. And he's the only non-Liverpoolian, the only non-scouser on the bill. And his jeans are rolled up like your pants are now. And beneath them are like white socks up as high as I've got these. And he's closing the show. And I'm like, I'm hosting it.

And I was like, Alfie, like- You got to take them down. You're going to have to roll the things down and you take the socks off. Just don't do it. And he doesn't believe me. So he's like, what are you talking about? He's like,

they're just socks. And I'm like, I'm telling you, they're going to call you Ken Barlow. And he's like, and why is that a problem? And I'm like, I don't fucking know.

I'll tell you it's not good. I'm not telling him, make the rules. I'm just fucking telling him about them. And he goes on, and look, before I say this, he's a fucking brilliant comic.

He helps me write my shows. Like he directs me. He's's one of the best he's one of my best friends and i love him but he eats a bag of shit of course like this lineup like you know the guy in the middle is like really famous in liverpool and he was running off and doing like seven other spots so he's following like a famous liverpoolian and he's not only not got a liverpool accent he's got a posh london accent which people do not fucking like yeah he's got like really long bushy hair pick your hardships dude and he's like a sort of provocative comic who will like try and push the buttons of the crowd and it's christmas time and it's like 11 p.m and everyone's been drinking since six and they're all hammered so he goes on

and initially they're not even fucking listening to him they're like the guy we came to see has been on fuck you we're now on party time so like like five ten minutes in like the audience turn and be like is there another fucking comic like what the fuck's this it's a really bad like energy in the room and he's just like putting the show into the ground and he's getting so many different heckles right and he's getting

you look like a toilet brush and it's fucking like you posh southern squat like it's everything

but like he's literally one at a time he's like I'm doing my time because in the UK there's like this thing where it's like you do your time or like sometimes you won't get paid yeah he would have been paid by this club but like he's like i'm doing the 20 minutes so he's eating shit yeah and it's not getting better

and uh i'm still at the side of the stage and i'm just like this is just fucking horrific and it's a friend you know like i'm enjoying it because i'm watching a friend like bomb but at the same time you're like this is it doesn't feel good at the same time and he gets through the whole thing and just as he's leaving he's like right dummy time fuck you guys fuck this show fuck all of you have a fucking awful christmas have a fucking waste and as he's doing this rant, just one guy from the balcony, Ken Barlow! That made my night. I felt so vindicated with it. He was like, I can't believe that guy right at the end. I was like, I told you.

I made way for the full 20 minutes to throw it. Ken Barlow, how do you say it? Ken Barlow. B-A-R-L-O-W. Is this a guy that was... He's just a guy who was in a soap opera. I've got no idea. Did he take a gay connotation? No, but he also...

The actor who plays him, he's like 80 now, but he's known as being like a fucker. He fucks. There's been like 70 different co-stars who've been like, yeah, we were fucking for a bit. It's not even like... It's sort of a compliment in a way. And he's like the longest running actor on the whole show like there's no reason for it to upset anybody apart from everybody's told everybody this is

an upsetting thing to be called it doesn't make any sense yeah yeah you can't be unfamiliar with this anytime someone if someone goes you look like fucking Daryl Strawberry, and the whole room goes, you do look, you'd be like, I don't fucking don't. But you do. It doesn't matter how much you don't. So a whole city going, you're Ken Barlow. And you just can't get out from under it.

It's also going to be like a huge moment of honor for me if this becomes like a thing in the States. If the Ken Barlow insult becomes... I promise you won't, because I'm Ken Barlow. a huge moment of honor for me if this becomes like a thing in the states we're gonna probably cut this just in fear of it working out damn i wish he thought about bringing up the socks who on stage his buddy oh yeah he wouldn't it wouldn't have been worth the risk like he was barely getting where it's out like it was like it was not his fault like strategy is like strategy like about me now like a Hendrix burn the guitar thing yeah Yeah, yeah. Like the socks on fire. He just tried to exercise the dude.

He took them off in front of them. He was like, I know you guys don't like this shit. Rolled his pants down. Oh, I'm like, this guy's great and all that. But also now, so he's about to move to Liverpool with his whole family. He's also got family who historically are from the city and he's always wanted to be loved by the city. It's like the

worst night for that but uh yeah he he now makes a point when he comes like he'll come to like a liverpool game with me like the match and he will roll his fucking jeans up like one roll further the socks are a little higher because he's like defiant with it he's like no yeah you're not fucking changing me good for him that is good for him that's courage until you get to black guy like me oh man well how was your time in the state so far it's been really good man like i've uh i put a special out in november and then was like i'm gonna take a little bit of a break and i just i wanted to come out first of all do some podcasts and stuff and obviously push the special and whatever but like to just start again in a place

where no one knows me. Yeah. To be going on a comedy clubs where even not even 10% of the room are like, oh, that guy. Yeah. Like, and just having to win a full crowd over and try new stuff.

It's been so like, I've been a bit like bored, like at home, but like not really had like the, you know, the fires to start doing spots again. Yeah. And it's totally totally like i'm ready to go back and just properly start again i've booked i spent the the this morning before i came out to you guys just booking in with clubs back home being like can i come on for these like three or four days that's awesome i'm really excited it's been great yeah just reignite that fire because you just get in the same zone and just like killing

and everybody knows you also like just you know when you i've just had no real sort of ideas for like new bits that like i'm really happy with so i'm going on i was going on a clubs in the uk trying like a new bit that would like get like a sort of five six out of ten and i'm just like and then i'm just going oh here's a bit from five years ago that i know these people haven't seen and then yeah you you end up doing well and you've had a good show and you come off but i'm just like what was the fucking point of me coming out tonight like you're not even getting paid for the show you're just doing it to try new stuff and all you're doing is going on and essentially showing off yeah yeah yeah it does it feels that way it feels really like pathetic yeah i'm stuck in that hole big time so am i right now i i got yeah i got i got a 10 or 15 that i really like pathetic. Yeah. I'm stuck in that hole big time. So am I right now. I got,

yeah, I got a, I got a 10 or 15 that I really like and it's fairly new three months to three months, but just cycling through that, trying to find an end to it is all right, but you're wasting a whole set. Yeah. And you know,

it works already, but I'm trying to find pieces that don't work and you can't chop it up. Yeah. So then you go, all right, well, I'll just do it. Try a new 10.

Yeah. And you're like, well, I could walk out of here with an ovation or I can just fucking bomb my dick off like uh like what's his name it's a tough dude it's a tough balance it's like that um the bottom of the battle show at the mother it's the best show in the world oh it's so fun that's the best because i kind of want to steal it and take it back home because it was so good yeah to just go on and be like oh i've got i've done things like that like when i've done like adam rowe and friends like work in progress like

try it i've done like buckets like ask me a question i'll riff on it but like the subjects and like talk about this that was really i'm watching other comics do it as well yeah yeah because you want to see just what comes out yeah yeah i think that's like the really weird thing about this day and age is like because the algorithm takes people down these deep holes sometimes you're in front of a crowd and you're like i don't know what you guys have seen yeah i don't know what you're what do you know about let's compare notes sometimes you just want to talk to an audience and be like what do're what do you know about you know let's compare notes sometimes you just want to talk to an audience and be like what do you what have you heard i tell you is it aliens or what are you

trans people well i tell you what's funny because i got a video on my phone the other day that i thought like oh i'm gonna be the only person who gets this and then we were in the club and like five of the other comics were like i've've fucking seen it too. Which is, there's like now AI people on Instagram and they're verified, but they're AI. And it was a Down Syndrome AI, like hot girl. Yeah, I've heard about this.

Oh, I saw this. We're all on the same thing. Is this the one in the kitchen dancing? No, it's her friend. I don't know. The Instagram account is called cakedupanddown. Ugh. Yeah, I mean, it's... It's a real thing.

I don't know. Jesus. It's got to be a fucking government bot to see who's beating off to these things. You know what I mean? She's following, liking, commenting. Buddy, I know. I fucking know i fucking know yeah yeah yeah yeah have you found it yeah it's it's it's absolutely down it's absolutely wild but like you can see this it's i've seen the one where she's but like who's if like right dude i don't know psychologically this could start to normalize the process and people say

stop saying the hard word he sticks her hands It's a civil rights issue. I've become a compliment. You see Tommy's new girl? She is retarded. Retardedly hot. Like the good way. That's a 2025 version of the Million Man March. A retarded girl with a fat ass. I saw a video. I don't know if it was AI or not,

but this is like an African-American retarded girl with a fat ass. I saw a video. I don't know if it was AI or not, but this is like an African-American retarded kid in a wheelchair. Hold on. In a wheelchair? Wearing? Hold on. So funny to say African-American. Well, all right.

He's a retarded. Was that for me? Were you translating for me? Well, dude, we have black guys back home, you know. Guys, I'm not going to say the N-word and the R-word. I gotta pick one. I can't be all lopsided, dude. You don't wanna put a little seasoning on both of them? I tried to swap out the R-word.

Alright. Alright, hold on. So there's a paralyzed N-word. He's biting into a chocolate in the center's two ribs. Whoa. Retarded. So this fucking deranged black kid

sitting in a wheelchair. He's wearing a Star of David holding like All Lives Matter flag. He's got all the things. And the top commenter's like, man, pick a strong one. The second one was like, God hates you four times.

It's like, I hope it's AI so that these people don't feel, you know, the power of online assholes, dude. Internet trolls are fucking tough, dude. The comments on her Instagram are absolutely humble. Like, if she's down, I'm down. She's got up syndrome. They're brutal, but

in the best way. That is a good question. Who is that for? What is that? Is that like a perversion trap? You know what I mean? It's a trigger. It's gotta be like porn. I bet it's bet it's like porn hub marketing are they throwing sponsored ads on there you see that exactly i'm chromosexual by the way one of their captions and see if you can find it it was

what would you rate me from 1 to 47 because it's the extra chromosome that's on a thing do you know what i think it is because like obviously this is not a real person i think they know that like we all watch so much porn now and like everyone's so used to just awful stuff it's the same reason like every fucking video on porn was like step daddy and steps like it's all it's all gonna be a little bit in better commas wrong yeah so i think they're being like oh this is something you could be like oh that's a bit weird that's for me so what if it could be used as like training wheels to get out of certain things like racism right like in the future these

fucking bots you could just create into like just a random black teenager to show your pop-up you know like wait you got to meet one before you you don't talk to him like that that should be like that meet this guy and then the ai is like programmed to you know i thought you were right if you ever get like accused of, if you ever get accused of racism and you get in trouble for it or whatever, it's like, you can have a sex robot, but it's got to be a black one. You can try it if you want.

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They didn't say they wanted me to talk about it. You don't have to talk about the greens. Greens are down there, baby. You can talk about the greens if you want. Greens are wonderful. They already know. They're nice. They already know how much I love them.

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and you're all set. You're going to land to play next. You're going to find the good in this one. It's part of your parole. Do you know what I mean? If you can expose people to what they're good for, like, that they're just normal people, Pop Pop loses his races.

That would be the most fun misinformation to drive the racists nuts. If it was just AI, like, black dudes helping, like, an old white lady. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? He's just flipping the steering wheel. That's not real!

That's not real! They don't help him like that! Put my wife down! Just to make him spaz. I'd rather fall. I gotta shut this door real quick. You got what? Shut this door real quick.

Oh. The dog gets out. There's a black robot in the living room and he doesn't want him to get upset. You know what I mean? Or you could just like test people. Like let's say you're in a job interview

and then you just fire one up to come into the room. Yeah. Just see where you're at socially. See how you feel about certain things.

Right. You gotta train these things as well dude my my that would be the cruelest test my biggest fear is missing the sex robots we talked about it before but like the progression so far and like where they've come you know you see these these robots being made by the japs i don't see a lot of advancements being made in the robot world. What? Sex-wise.

You don't see what? I don't see the advancements. Oh, my God, dude. You mean you haven't seen it recently? Oh, you don't think it's coming? They're catching tennis balls. I saw one the other day, follow they follow their eyeline with you and they're wearing like

they just use these goggles and they're showing the exposed robotics underneath and then she has a shell but it's not fat dance you know it's just a regular shell

and then it's her face and she's making like motions and then just follows you as you walk and then some dude just like tossed her a tennis ball and she was like this

and then she was like like right back to the dude and then look back this way and she's gorgeous I'm like yo, yeah, but we're getting there. She's just sat there like watching a guy walk around the living room Yeah, like she's waiting for him to move a plate Is he gonna fucking move that He's gonna make me pick it up He's gonna make me clean it up. He's going to make me clean it up. That's what they're practicing.

It's against the wall. No, but I think catching a tennis ball versus gyrating on a dick, I think it's two totally different... I don't think anyone's argument that. Enough to save. It's two totally different... The gyration's already done. it's already created have you seen

generation i'm talking about feeling like you're actually with a woman where you're not just a perverted fucking weirdo it's coming i don't think it's i don't think it's like next year but i think like five ten years yeah there's gonna be like there's gonna be like this is super fucking and i'm not saying you pick it up, right? Let's talk about a birthday. It's your birthday. Just keep it. Happy birthday.

Let's say I give you a gift or I was like, yo, you got to meet this girl. You don't know. She's a fucking robot. It's like meeting a transsexual at a bar. Yeah. You don't know. She's advanced as well. You're like, damn, she's fucking hot as shit.

Right. Until she tells you, you could set up a friend up, one of these sex robots in 20 years make them feel good yeah happy birthday yeah and then the next day you go no that was a fucking sad to see your friend like paying money buying a drink yeah this one can't socialize but it can fuck you get this dog style you're fucking hooked up well it's not

waltz proof get it away from the bed just drinking toilet water on the floor I am a dog I'm a dog do you think girls are going to say it's cheating?

Because it's going to be men who got it. Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah. I feel like you're going to date somebody that would be understanding. But I guess it would have to fall into the evolution cycle. You want them robotic but not too humanistic yet, where they have feelings, which is where they say they eventually would go.

They can deal with situational... Yeah, it'd have to be like what you do with kids where you can see their phone. You know what I mean? Did you turn the feelings on? Yeah. They can look at how you're using it.

You open her back. It'd be great if you could just set whatever mood they're in. But I do think some guys eventually would just be like, you know what? I want it to be pissed off. Yes. Yeah.

I mean, walk on my nuts. Dude. Yeah. Run the simulator. You know what I mean? I don't know. It's,

it's, it's, if it did, it turned into less sex and more just preparing for arguments. Yeah. You get them mad the way your girl gets mad at you. I mean, there's so many different variations. It's just like it's limitless in the future.

You're essentially just taking a human being. It's not really human, but, you know, it looks human. Yeah, yeah. And then it'll satisfy you in ways that you might not be getting satisfied. So the jealousy thing probably would come in the form of not just wanting to have sex with another woman, but like, what am I not providing for you

that this fucking robot can't? I don't know. I think dudes are going to hold together. They're going to hold the line on this one. And it's like, if you get a robot,

it's the white socks. They're going to be like, that's gay, dude. You've got a relationship with a robot. Oh, you'll never know when I order one to fucking the Hyatt.

You think I'm doing this in broad daylight you deliver by an amazon drone yeah the boys are gonna keep us in line because you you have to put that in the group chat i mean you don't even know when i get dominoes how you don't know when i order what are you doing quietly in the dark on the floor i'd be i'd be too intrigued not like if it was good good like if a friend of mine like quietly like he's hammered one night and he just like admits hey look i i got one and it's it's fucking good yeah then i'd be like right i've got it i've got to fucking try it yeah i'm not going first

but like i'd need one of my friends to tell me it was good because otherwise you could get you to get one now it's cocaine i'm not going first is this pussy stepped on am i gonna die i want to see my friend do it and live for a month and then i'm like okay yeah yeah no side effects no yeah i mean you look at this i did a show in uh detroit with sam talent last week and one of his uh award his gifts to give out to like the best audience member was that like ultra blow or super blow it's like the latest technology blow

job technology and i've only seen it when i fire up like porn hub or something like the first clip it'll show you that like crazy shit's going on something like the first clip. Yeah, the ad. It'll show you that like crazy shit's going on. This is not a fleshlight. Fleshlight was only what? Four years ago? Yeah.

How far we come with what's going on inside this sex robot? Let alone, they're working on the exteriors, dude. The inside's done. I know, but it's such a bummer, man.

Like coming, post-cum is sad enough. You just gotta clean her out? You clean a robot out. You just like, or what are you going to be out in front of the garage? Hosing her down. Yeah.

Where, where's the auto blow? Huh? Have you ever used an auto blow? No, my housemates, like the, the dirtiest fucker I know.

And he's quite open about it as well. He's just like, like he bought a flashlight and like opened it in the living room he's like I'm gonna go and fucking use this I'll see you in 20 minutes

and just missed me and came back he's like good stuff really but our podcast back home is sponsored by Love Honey I don't know whether

you have that out here but that's like an internet sex toy company Love Honey yeah so it's like lovehoney.co.uk and they do

like sex toys like outfits it's basically like you know just like an adult sex toy. They had a toy recently that my

housemate bought. He didn't even use our discount code either. I was like, you know what I'm saying? But listen to this. You know what I'm mad about? It's got, it's a cock ring, but it has a vibrating thing that goes up the guy's arse,

and it goes in the girl's arse, too, and in a third person's arse. And I'm just like, what level of, like, comfort do you have to have with the threesome to whip that out? Yeah. It's a tush-push. It's a pal-a-goo. It's a tush push. It's a complicated maneuver.

It's 41 every time. Yeah, how could you pass? It's for three assholes. Wait, how long is the extenders? I don't know. He's ordered it. It's like an octopus. He's like, I want it.

Like an octopus. Ordering it is the easy part. Yeah. Coordinating with two other people to get all your assholes on the right horns. Yeah. Yeah, but if anyone can do it, it's Jack. I believe in this guy.

But yeah. Can you put the cock ring on? And do you have to put the thing in your ass? Like, can you bend it out like a walkie? I'm not going to call you guy if you want yeah this is a good point though because i forgot about the cock ring part of it it's kind of like a it's a noose around your dick connected to two other yeah it's like it's like a bulb it's like a cat barbs it's like great it could rip your dick off like they can't get out unless someone decides to take your thing off.

You know what I mean? Like a dolphin dick? Doesn't the cat's penis do that? As barbs that shoot out, you can't remove yourself? I think so. I think that is how cats fuck. You fire this on and you got two women. Yeah, but I don't think this is ending up in two women's ass accidentally. You're not going to surprise them with this?

This is true. I thought you were saying it's only gonna be dudes it's gonna be three dudes the only only three dudes possess the teamwork and the athleticism necessary this sounds like a very gay only yeah yeah do you know what i mean yeah because if it was for a men and two women there wouldn't be an insert for yourself i'm not saying the straight guys don't do that um but yeah that wouldn't be that wouldn't be design one design one would be a cock ring with two of these cords that could win chicks vaginas or assholes well maybe that's like the one model down you know maybe that's like the friend got the game that's why he paid for it. It didn't use your code so there's nothing

in the tissue, dude. He'd be quite open about something going up his ass. Yeah. I've never put a toy up my ass. Just so you know. You what?

I've never put a toy up my ass. Same. Not a finger in my ass. Yes. Yeah. Yes, of course. Somebody gave me a gay buddy of mine

bought me like an ass rocket that was like kind of curved. Yeah. If you're straight, you just toss it in there. It had a claw on the edge so it didn't just shoot in your ass. You have to get it removed at the hospital or something. Right, right. But it curved. Like a grappling hook.

Yes, a grappling hook. It's like the fucking climb on ancient buildings, dude. Except it's to save your asshole. But you're supposed to just lay there, and's supposed to just like dabble your prostate just natural movement of you beaten off it's supposed to hit the paddle ball you know i just i feel like any man on his own using toys i just feel like that's too you you've thought about the yeah too much yes like you're supposed to just be like a man like like masturbating jerking off whatever you want to call it it's supposed to be like oh yeah okay that's that's it it's just you've got time yeah you're on your own just get it

you'll be like where's my fucking toys and the battery and the like it just 100 yeah i've never even gotten to like lotions and moisturizers and shit that always felt like a messy unnecessary tool yeah yeah well that's small house stuff what do you mean just jerking off without all the lotion and shit you're just like when you got brothers around when you got people like on top of you it's like i can't make a scene yeah you know what i mean my uh 20 minute cheers is enough to smuggle out of this situation yeah just a little bit of tissue for that like i already feel like where am i going why do you need them it's got four other tissues over like fucking onion layers right my uh try to put a little mustard on it dan who hosts my podcast with me back home he he's quite open about the fact he's a serial

like he fucking loves it and it's every night and every single time he uses lube like every single time i'm like it's just too much fucking prep for me yeah and then it's just like leftovers it's like eating a sloppy burger like there's no way it's not too much fucking prep for me. Yeah. And then it's just like leftovers. It's like eating a sloppy burger. Like there's no way it's not on some of your shirt. The fucking. Yeah. It's everywhere. You know what I'm saying?

You're having a lubed up one. Yeah. While clothed. Yeah. Yes. No. 100%. I would pull this all the way up.

I'd pull these right to here. And I get it all over my underwear. There's no way I'm getting fully naked to jerk off. That's insane. That's also. I also think that's insane. I'm getting fully naked to jerk off that's insane that's also I also think that's insane that's fucking nuts I also think that's insane

I also don't like the residue of lube on my dick after I've jerked off that's such a bummer yeah you gotta go shower

yeah you can feel the and it has a scent it has that like fake rubber scent you know or like a frizzy one if you're having a treat, you know? Ooh, cherry.

Do you know, I have like, this is a bit disgusting. Maybe I shouldn't admit this to two guys I've spent very little pencil time with. The finger in the ass thing, I was never like sort of like, it was never in my world. And then a couple of years ago when I was single, I was having a one night stand with a girl and I was never like sort of like, it was never in my world. And then a couple of years ago when I was single, I was having a one night stand with a girl and I was hammered. And we're in bed and I'll never forget.

I've got like, I could draw you this memory. That's how clearly it's burnt into my like retinas. Yeah. And she's like, just starts playing with my asshole. And she looked at me like, huh?

And I went, yeah. And she lifted her handle, ripped off a false nail and threw it across the room Yeah, oh my god I Feel like a wild child? No. The earrings don't do stuff for me.

Like, I get like icked out by earrings. Well, I'm saying the type of person to just rip a fucking nail off, shove it up your ass. Seriously, he's dressed like a slam pig. I wasn't saying it was like a sexual tool. She's a fucking trash bag, dude. It'd be so funny. She's a bottom of the barrel trash bag. It's so funny.

She rips the nail off and he's like, hold on, take those earrings off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're bothering me. She's wearing lip line like a real fucking alley pig. You know what I mean? The kind of girl who just fucking rip a nail off.

Drive it in your asshole. Did she try and put it back on afterwards? Wasn't it Lee Presson? I only found it when I was moving out. That's true. That's true. I was packing my shit up and cleaning up and I was like, ah!

That's where it went. She was really funny, though, because the next morning, like, I did, like, the sort of, you know, you're paying the lip savers, playing politics, and I was like, oh, you want to give me your number? And she was like, I'm never going to see you again. She was like, I'm the girl who ripped my nail off and pumped my finger up your ass.

What, are you going to text me tomorrow? Amazing. But that also has to work for some dudes where it's like, that's my dream girl. A girl that just stoops to that fucking level with a stranger. Yes, 100%. It's an unhinged animal.

Train that woman to be a housewife. I made that mistake before. You're like, wait, no, I'm in mistake before too. Yeah, but then he said, usually, you're like, wait, no, this is,

I'm in love with her. And then a month, Usually a dated animal like that, they just immediately calm down. You know, you get to like three months and you're like, what the fuck?

Can we do something wild? You know what I mean? Stationery again. Oh, no. Do you remember how we met? I feel like, yeah.

Spice it up a bit. Did you just say stationery instead of missionary? Yeah. Just still. Don't move. No, it's true. Fucking on a bed of envelopes.

That's how missionary goes for me. It's very much stationary style. It's the same fucking thing. Yeah, yeah. After a while, you're not moving. You're just breathing. It sucks. I don't think you're allowed to do it.

I think you've got to, as much as, obviously, eventually, after you've been together for a long time, dies down a little. But you can't be fucking on day one and then a couple of months in being like, we're just face to face and then let's fall asleep. You've got to like, you've got to like, I signed you for this reason. She started with her closers.

It's just new stuff. This is weak new stuff. That's what I, that's what i almost go the opposite direction like you start dating someone like that and then you're just like i can't every time we got to do something nuts yeah it's not even worth it you know what i mean i i tried to move i tried to do a bit my ass i tried to do a bit a while back and i didn't ever really get it to work properly

but the idea was and i sort of believe this too it was uh like i i can only do horrific stuff with someone i don't see a future with because like i can't like have i can't pass your dad the potatoes potatoes over dinner if I've pissed on you. I'm supposed to shake your dad's hand and say, hello, sir, knowing what I've done. I was like, we just need to be like... I need to know that if he knew what I'd done to you,

he'd be like, I've done it to him. Yeah, but also it's probably his fault that she likes getting pissed on. So you kind of handle the potatoes in a different way you're like oh these must be yours sorry sorry the potatoes have piss in them but you know why you probably expect that thingy abusive piece of shit or the chick's so crazy she'll try to like fuck you while you're meeting the parents yeah you gotta be like what are you doing doing? Yeah. My ex wouldn't even fuck with me anytime I go visit my parents

for the holidays, but I'd be dating her for five, six years. You know what I mean? And she wouldn't fuck me in my bedroom. This bitch wouldn't fuck me in my childhood bedroom. What a weird bitch. I know.

Why did I want to know the more I say that I was like oh yeah why did I want to fuck that makes I like that why did I want to

break the bunk bed for somebody it's like a toy story poster on the wall just Randall Cunningham in the back I'm going to the game I'm definitely going to

you're going to do it yeah Eagles playing the NFC Championship game this weekend I know I love the NFL I haven't got a team

and you you won't love this the first team I ever picked so here's the thing I'm a big Liverpool like football club fan like I know it affects my mood

same yeah so like I tried to get into the NFL a few years ago and a friend of mine was like, you need to pick a team. You got to pick a fucking team

and you stick to it. And that's that. And as I was having this conversation with a Texan, I was watching, it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to pick the Eagles.

Yeah, let's go. And then about a couple of months since, like, first of all, I noticed I didn't really care. Like, like if the Eagles lost, I wasn't like bothered. I was just like, oh, yeah. And then since, like, first of all, I noticed I didn't really care. Like, if the Eagles lost, I wasn't, like, bothered. I was just like, oh. Yeah.

And then someone was like, they're the worst fans in football. Like, everyone else in the NFL hates them. Like, they love themselves, and everyone in the NFL fucking hates them. And I was like, I don't know whether I want to, like, be that guy then. And then, so I was like, right, well, I'll maybe pick someone else. So I went to the Londonon game that they did which was the rams against the bengals and i was like okay well

i'll get a jersey for the rams and i'll be around and then i still didn't give a fuck about them either no that's a huge mistake nobody in la does either they don't have fans yeah so i just i watch it and essentially i want whoever's losing to win yeah but on top of that i think it's funny when people from the uk really care about their team yeah because they're my guys i'm like you've never even been near the fucking place like i just don't believe yeah yeah so there's a guy i spoke about this yesterday as well there's a guy who uh he's a really good friend of mine he's actually a liverpool season ticket holder and he's big into the nfl like can speak really intelligently on it way more than i can and he's a chief's fan and i'm from before the success too like he's not like he picked them

because he just liked whatever and he cares or says he does so my favorite thing in the world is driving him insane yeah so i've got about 11 different teams jerseys and on like an nfl sunday i'll put like any jersey on of the first game and i'll put it on instagram and sometimes tag him in it and be like i'm watching my beloved chicago bears but if they're playing the eagles and they start to get beat by the Eagles I'll put the Eagles jersey on and put a new Instagram story on and tag him in that and he hates all of it and he hates nothing more than when I pretend to support

the Chiefs because then he's like they're fucking mine and you can't just jump in now and I just love driving him insane but I love the game and I'm really excited for this weekend

I'm going to be in New York while both games are on so I'll find somewhere to watch it yeah how is Liverpool doing this year? they are top of the

I don't know how much you know about like football I know a decent amount so Liverpool Shane knows a shitload top of the table?

they're top of the Premier League and they're top of the Premier League and they're top of the Champions League, so the European League. So we're like, we've got a new manager this year. Last year, we lost our manager. He just wanted to be done with, he's like, I'm old enough, I've done enough,

I'm leaving. And it was like, we're not going to be able to replace him. It's going to be impossible. We're going to fail for a couple of years. This new guy's coming in, and he's just absolutely brilliant. We're going to fail for a couple of years. This new guy's coming in, and he's just absolutely brilliant. We're the best team in Europe at the minute, and it's really, really, really exciting.

What was the name of the guy that left? He seemed like he was young. Yeah, yeah, Jürgen. I think he's in his 60s, but he's also just had a grandchild, and I think he's just like, oh, I want to be in Germany with the grandchild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He took a a job so he's took a job he's head of football development at like red bull

which is they've got like three or four teams in europe and uh i think he's got like a nice cushy well-paid job where he can be in germany and see his grandchild yeah but yeah liverpool are doing well but shane does know bits about football, but I went to a, Liverpool were in the FA Cup final a couple of years ago against Chelsea and I went with Shane because last time he was in the UK, he did our podcast and then was like,

oh, are you going to the game on Saturday? I was like, yeah. And he got a ticket in the Chelsea end because they were more readily available. But beforehand, I was like, you should come to the liverpool side so i can show you how we do it because the liverpool side will be so much livelier than yeah chelsea and i remember the picture except because liverpool won and like the segregation in british sports like

the fans aren't allowed to sit together also before the game like pubs get allocated for the teams it's like that's a liverpool pub If you try and go in in a Chelsea shirt, they'll kick you out. Yeah. So at the end of the game, like the Chelsea end is starting to empty out and the Liverpool end looks like it's on fire because there's so many like red flares and shit going on.

And he was just like, this is insane. What are you talking about? You just described the last five minutes that you're a Philadelphia Eagles fan. Yeah. Everything about what you just said. That's right. Yeah, I thought that was going to cinch it for you.

It's intensity. People from afar don't understand. The more I learn about Eagles fans and the way the Eagles are, I do feel like they are the Liverpool of the NFL. If you somehow, somehow got to the game on Sunday, you'd be changed for life. It's the most electric environment in all of sports.

Every fucking sport I've ever been to. Okay. The link, especially in a playoff game alone, let alone the NFC Championship, will be the wildest shit you've ever fucking experienced. It's fucking nuts.

It's crazy. What time's the game? It's three o'clock. Okay. Or four o'clock in... Is it four? On the East Coast. Yeah, four o'clock. Or 4 o'clock. Is it 4? Yeah, 4 o'clock. 4 and 7.30?

Is that what we're looking at? It's fun. If you were to get a team, you want it at 6 a.m. Yeah. And anyone you go up to, they'll give you a beer. It's fucking mayhem. It is so much fun.

I can't wait. See, I've got too many commitments Sunday night in New York to even try and go. Normally what i'd do in that situation is just pay whatever shows yeah i have shows and podcasts i'm doing i'm look man like i'll make calls i'll bomb threat that i'll fuck it so i'm doing flagrant sunday night yeah because and i've moved me flight to the next day just to be able to do it. So, yeah.

But you've convinced me that I should try and get to a game. And I think you, like a big Liverpool game. Yeah. I think you'd be there and be like, like what you're describing, like the most intense atmosphere. Yeah. Like when, so a lot of small teams come to liverpool's ground to our stadium and they'll go away being like the atmosphere is not that great like it's not that

great and it's like we don't need it to beat you yeah right you're fucking we beat you three nil anyway yeah liverpool's ground liverpool stadium and field is what i I call a reactive ground. When it's needed and when it's on fire, you feel like the building's about to fall down. It's fucking insane. I'm going to fucking take my shirt off. It's going to be fired up. I feel like Liverpool's...

All the smaller city teams in the NFL are good teams to get behind. I think. The Bills. Bill Cincy. Eagles fit into that. Yeah.

The Chiefs. I went to Cincy Stadium this year. It's dog shit. It doesn't have any... The people are great. The team has... You don't like that stadium? They have character.

The stadium is an open bowl. The fucking... The big... What would you even call that the fucking tv the projection of the the jumbotron jumbotron jesus christ i'm still stuck on station all right but the jumbotron is so small from one end to the other it looks like a cell phone it's like you can't follow the game unless you're in a perfect spot.

It's not, the Link in Philadelphia, the Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, it was designed, I don't know, eight, 10 years ago, but there's not a bad seat, and it's kind of cascading over one another where you feel like you're on top of each other, but not, and you could sit anywhere in that fucking bowl and feel like you're part of that experience, and there's only a few stadiums that i've been to for the nfl that that had that

unless they knock down the old it's that's the the process if they're it's too old if they're like whatever 175 100 years they knock it down then you have state of the art that you know that stadium so what what happened in liverpool was we they've just expanded the stadium. So like three years ago, or maybe four, our stadium held 43,000. Jesus. And now it's like 66. So the main stand they made bigger, the Anfield road end, they made that bigger.

Is it over top of the previous one? Yeah, like they just built up, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, they'll do the other two eventually and it'll end up like ac5 didn't they do that with a bunch of college i don't know but i went i went to i went to tottenham versus leipzig at tottenham's like new stadium and they have like a they have like a stanchion in the end that looks like it goes on forever that's the biggest single stand in europe it's huge it's a what dude imagine imagine like row one being field level in the eagle stadium and the top row being the top of the stadium but just one straight one section yeah there's no

break in it it's at all it's the most insane thing I've ever seen. It's fucking... The only thing I've been to Tottenham's ground for is NFL games. So they host NFL games every year now. And yeah, that... It's big. It's crazy. Yeah.

How many does the link hold? I think 40. No, it's 70-something. The link? Yeah. No way. It's got to be big it's gotta be because the college stadiums

over here are like 100 I'm guessing I'm gonna guess 73,000 67 so that's similar to what Liverpool is now wow yeah but like I thought it't like 48 what i think now

it's huge if you if you like you can't unless you pay like over the odds and go to like a fucking tout or a resale site yeah you just can't get tickets for liverpool games you have to know someone who can yeah yeah like people with season tickets who can't go if you know those they'll whatever yeah buy off them same that's how i got the eagles tickets otherwise you gotta pay like 3 000 bucks a pop yeah also the prices in the uk compared to american sports are insane really like face value for a liverpool ticket in like the best seats like 50 pounds would be like 60 70 really yeah and any more than that like like and also what's really funny now is like a lot of uh football teams in the uk are getting bought by american owners yeah and they're

coming in and going what the fuck what yeah there's a real like resistance with fans in the uk against like prices going on because it's seen as like a really working class man's game. It's like everyone should be able to afford to go every week and take their son. And as soon as you price that out, you're making the game not what it's supposed to be. So like Man United have just put their tickets up. I think it's like 60, 70 quid a game. And it's like outrage. outrage yeah it's like this is not we went through a phase of that like because all the new stadiums prioritize putting in like

suites and boxes and stuff for like people that obviously yeah yeah and everyone was getting pissed about that even when they built the link people were getting pissed about that that it's not just trying to maximize the number of just regular seats you can sit in. Yeah, once you get in one, you're like, I get it. I know, I know. But sitting with the mob is always better. 100%. Sitting with the mob is always better. It's so much better.

One of the first games of this season, I got invited down by Nike. They have a box at Anfield. And they were like, do you want to come and be in? You get a private chef. You get the the best you're on the halfway line yeah big comfy seat and i was just there surrounded by other people who were invited by other things who don't really watching all my friends the end just throwing beer when they score and shit dude it's like this is pretty good here's another thing we drink so much in the uk you're not allowed to take your beer into the bowl yeah so you can have it on the like in the in the stadium like at the bar yeah you can have it in

the like on the concourse yeah you can't take it into the so for 45 minutes it's like at least for 45 minutes they're not drinking yeah yeah yeah i mean i i got to imagine that that works in the wrong way though yeah yeah they just go chug a beer go back well it's the end of the half you're like all right we got 15 minutes of blackout let's at it. So that's what we do. So like, so half time in football's 45 minutes, so

on like 42, if I'm with a friend of mine and we're drinking, on 42 we'll toss a coin. Whoever loses the coin toss, on 42 you go down, go and get four beers, two for me, two for you. I'll come down at halftime,

nail one, and then use the other one to get us through the 15 minutes, and then we're nice and buzzy again, back up for the second half, straight to the pub. Yeah, of course. Oh, man.

I'd be constantly going like, I gotta take a piss. Just go and plug in. No team's that important to me. I mean we what what if I couldn't drink in an Eagles game

first of all the whole city would burn yeah Tom no fucking way well you're not allowed to drink in Notre Dame Stadium and we go every year

and it's Tommy's it's a marathon for Tom yeah well unless we have unless we have dude we had a fucking

flak jacket full of booze we got we still do we had a fucking flat We got we had like a 12 pack of fucking so-cos I don't know why I hate that It's like one of the one lickers. I think the only thing you can buy at the gas stations there Yeah, you can buy like a fucking 24 pack of mini so-cos. So, you know, we're talking armor. We're armoring up our underwear We got it around our belts inside of our sleeves. So every like, you know, ten minutes. I drew the short straw. I was

covered in these things walking into the stadium. It was a paintball vest. And they like, you could have took anything. They fucking wanded me and it was like I was like he's in Isis Wow way on the cover. Wank out with a yellow beanie and a beard.

Wow. They're really getting to them. Even when you can booze, you can buy those like the fifths that have the curved inside plastic. So you can put them curved inside your underwear,

which I'm going to do on Sunday for sure. It's like a leg pad. Because the lines, it's mocked. It's fucking sold out. And nobody's pissing when you have to. You either piss.

Some people wear diapers and shit like that so they don't have to leave. It's like fucking Times Square watching a ball drop. I have friends that don't wear a diaper because they don't want to get up to go take a piss if there's a good game going on. Football though, there's more like stoppage time. There's more opportunity so you can sneak out at a commercial break. You can like find these little gaps. Yeah, but you're in line for 20 minutes. You hear the

start of the next quarter and you're like, fuck. You know, before when you were trying to convince me to be an Eagles fan. I was like on the fence before. Now I'm like, yeah. I fucking do. You're the alcoholics. Now I'm like, yeah. Fucking hell. Oh, okay. You're the alcoholics.

Yeah, yeah. It's like clever alcoholism. You're not allowed to drink. Am I not? Well, fucking watch me. It's fucking playing ahead strategies for fucking drunk dads. And there's no game that's just neutral. There's either games where everyone's super happy

or they're pissed off that they didn't win by enough. It's like there's... You leave that stadium with either pure rage or pure happiness. The last energy championship I went to was when we lost to Tampa Bay. Yeah. And it was a funeral walk. I mean, no one was saying shit. There's no fighting.

Everyone's just like, my life's over. Yeah. You know, just shuffling, staring at your feet, thinking. The walk from where I park my car, or like where I would walk to get a cab if I'm going out drinking. Good adjustment. From the stadium. It's about 15, 20 minutes.

And that walk after a win is better than the game. Yes. Yeah. Because everyone's like, you see that fucking goal? Like the energy that after a loss or like a game you haven't won, because obviously we have draws too.

So like a game where you know you should have won because it's bad opposition or whatever, or like, you know, the other team you're competing for the league with has won that day and you haven't like kept up with them and stuff. Yeah. Oh, it's fucking awful.

Yeah. It's the absolute worst. Yeah. And the thing about sports is, like, it's why sports is better than any art. Because there's no film, there's no movie that ever gives you the highs of a sport win. And there's no movie, no matter how sad it is,

that gives you the lows of a sport loss. That's when I hear some fucking dork comedian and he's like yay sports right and you're like pussy you've never felt the highs and lows and i swear to god i'd rather lose and feel something when i finally get that win you know like when the eagles finally won after 28 years 30 years of my life cry yeah it makes every fucking loss worth it so liverpool hadn't won a league title we'd won cups obviously because we have multiple competitions so we'd won like a couple of like the cup competitions but the league is what people want to win yeah 38 games yeah the premier league so 38 games there's 20 teams Premier League? Yeah, the Premier League. So 38 games. There's 20 teams in the league.

You play the other 19 home and away. Three points for the win, one for the draw, and the most points at the end of the win. So it's a proper marathon. There's no knockouts. There's no playoffs. It's just most points. But often, at the last few years,

it will go down to the last game of the season. There's 38 games games worth of effort yeah gone into this one thing yeah but uh the only premier league title of my entire lifetime was during covid during the lockdown so they were playing games in empty stadiums right god and liverpool when when they cancelled so they can't 12 when they cancelled... It's like watching 12-year-old girls play. It's like, who gives a shit? Oh, it was awful. But...

So I think they would have null and void the league. I think they were going to just stop it. But Liverpool had won 26 of their first 27 games and I think drawn the other one, right? Which is just... It doesn't happen. No. They were so far ahead

that it was like they're going to win their first title in 30-odd years. And when they restarted the Premier League, they did it in empty stadiums. And we actually won the league title on a night we didn't play because Chelsea played against Manchester City. Chelsea beat Manchester City,

which meant they couldn't catch us. Yeah. So I was in my living room watching this. And I'm just sat there with like a cup of tea, just watching this game being like, oh, whatever. And I expected Man City to beat Chelsea, to batter them. And they don't. Chelsea beat them.

And I got like this rush of emotion. I felt like I'd just been told, like, cancer free like i was like i'm gonna live on some level it's probably true it's like the opposite of that bush yeah like a plane just went into the place yeah yeah it's like the plane's reversed. It's like, yeah. Missed the building a whole lot. No, 100%. A mole turns benign when your team wins. So I go straight to the fridge and grab a beer and just like shock, just gone. I open a second one.

And the girl I was with at the time, like she was great. We're not together anymore, but she's very like sort of by the book, like you're supposed to follow the rules. She's a good person. That's why we're not together anymore. She's had a rip and nail off.

So all my friends are like, I don't care if it's lockdown. We're going to the stadium. We're going to celebrate and we're going now. So you're not allowed out of your house, apart from an hour a day for exercise. But everyone's like, we're fucking going. Yeah, I love this.

And I went up to my girlfriend at the time, and I was like, hey, listen, here's what's happening. All of the guys are going to the stadium, and Liverpool have just won their first league of my lifetime. I said, look,

if you want me to not go, I'll not go. I'll stay in. I was like, but what I need you to know is that for the rest of our lives... I'll never forgive you. I'll never forgive you. If we're together forever, every single time Liverpool win or lose anything, this will be the first night I think of.

Yeah. And this has never happened before while I've been alive. It might never happen again. Yeah. Because Liverpool aren't as rich as some of the other clubs in the country. Manchester City are owned by the United Arab Emirates. They're owned by Abu Dhabi. So they can just buy.

When they don't win one year, the next year they just buy. There's no salary cap. They're just, yeah, yeah. So I was like, this might never happen again. So, and she went, you go, but you keep your distance. Keep your social distance. So I get to the stadium that night. I will.

I promise I will never die. I put me back against this fence and I go, and this guy goes, what are you doing? And I was like, I've told me girlfriend, I'll keep me distance. And he goes, boys, he's got to send a video to his missus.

Everyone needs to go back. And I'm against this wall doing this thing. And there's just, there's like a hundred thousand people outside the stadium. And there's one bit of six foot space and it's what I'm in. Because this other guy would be like, he's got a lie to his girlfriend. I don't know why,

but I always feel like English dudes are more on board with that type of effort than American dudes. Even saying to his missus sounds like, who's not going to just turn this down well american dude would just be over your shoulder who you talking to queer she's not letting you out closing the six feet yeah that's because most of our friends are just single and miserable also that speech he just gave is is should have hit you hard Saying I gotta be there on Sunday

You should have took that fucking note I'm under no I'm not under any flight restrictions Let's go dude Let's fucking go Foley's going Hank's going Why are you thinking about not going?

I've just been a drunk asshole For too many I like I went to the Notre Dame Shane took me to the Notre Dame Ohio State game Two days ago Got fucking shit face for that. I've been drinking like a fish. Cares.

It's a fucking championship game. Fucking cares. Also, what you're going to do is, I probably will. This is the way that I do things. I go, it's wrong. And I shouldn't do it. What kind of fucking idiot? I gotta get things together.

And then tomorrow morning, I will buy a flight for the same day. Yeah. We'll go. You'll spend three times the amount rather than playing it out right now. I know how it's going to fucking end. But all, like,

what you don't want to do, because this is what you'll do, and I say this as a guy who's just met you. Yeah. You will not go. The Eagles will win you'll be getting sent videos and pictures from him and then next week you'll go out

to the mothership or another comedy club on a fucking Tuesday or Wednesday and you'll get shit faced that night and it'll mean nothing this is true this is fucking true this is true if you fucking true This is true If you're gonna fucking put your life in the wall

Have it mean something This guy's a Philadelphia He's a fucking Philadelphia He just talks to people He's one of us I'm calling Schultz And I'm gonna have Schultz do it Earlier in the morning

Late morning, we'll get this fucking done What a line If you're gonna put at the i'm gonna have shots earlier in the morning late late morning we'll get this fucking done what a line all right you're gonna put your life on the wall thanks for coming something yeah it's like uh promote your stuff yeah you got a special uh yeah newest special is they're all on youtube there's four specials on youtube the newest one is called what's wrong with me and it's on my podcast channel. So the podcast is called Have A Word. It's youtube.com slash have a word. And yeah, the special's there. It's called What's Wrong With Me.

It went out in November. And I'm on Instagram and TikTok and all that. It's Adam Rowe. Adam Rowe, thanks for coming, baby. Thanks, boys. That was so much fun. Yeah, it was. It was great.