Stuff Island - Are You Garbage + Joe DeRosa Live from Skankfest - Stuff Island #211

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

Are You Garbage and Joe DeRosa join Chris O'Connor + Tommy pope for Stuff Island live from Skankfest Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Your Holiday wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code [stuffisland] at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/[stuffisland] #chubbiespod Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code STUFFISLAND at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l] #CashAppPod.Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bankpartner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions athttps://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visithttp://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/STUFFISLAND #Ridgepod SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How's... How's everybody doing? Just ran here. Sorry, we're late. Tommy, uh, was late. Yeah. You fucking piece of shit. God forbid. You've been texting me in three months, you cut.

me in three months, you cuck-sucker. We had a nice phone call the other day. Yeah, you've seen this guy? Have you seen this guy? I'm on the Patreon. No, you haven't. He's on the Patreon once every two fucking months. You want to start like this?

There's people standing. Well, once you fell into the table when we walked out here, we ran out of options. We're going to have to fight. I got drunk on Shane's flight. Well, it's good to see you're slowing down. Two white claws What's the point of this festival?

Oh yeah. If not to meet a fucking weirdo that looks like a serial killer and goes, you want to bump? And you go, eh. I shouldn't, but Thanksgiving's coming up. I'm jerking them off three hours later.

You got to earn that second bump, dude. You got to jerk that dude off. Out of respect. It's funny to think about how many hand jobs are given out. You're like, hey, man, I'm just trying to get a eye. It's a good thing about being a podcast or not a carpenter. What do you mean? Soft, wet mitt.

I got baby feet, too. Oh, jerky. Is this a pitch you give him for the cocaine? Whatever taste, you. I've got a soft wet mitt right in your text. I'm taking my shoes off. How much? 30 bucks a bag?

fuck out of here taking my long socks off beating them off of my feet how are you guys yeah thanks for coming dude let's go let's fucking go should we start bringing out some guests not yet no I want to fucking keep venting

first of all I didn't know we were doing a two o'clock live podcast because I didn't check the schedule I checked the schedule said I was supposed to be here last night Yeah. It's supposed to be here yesterday. And then I get to Shane's house and I'm like, yo, when's this flight?

And he's like, what? I'm like, when we, when we lend? He goes, I don't know, fucking ask Grace. I asked Grace, she said one. And I said, that's not going to do it. Then I asked the pilot. Yeah. Yeah.

I started asking. Did you tell him the hustle? He saw the hustle in my house. Let's push the envelope over here. I squinted at him. How fast is this thing? You can go. An hour and once?

I feel like we could do that in 45. I got a very important podcast where I talk about jerking men off of my feet. Can we risk everyone's life? I'm drinking white claws. Jesus Christ. Well, you only think it was in the dumpster. It's a good hand job prep. You know? How you been?

I've been, you know. Say, if you want me to jerk you off? Yeah. Drinking myself into an early. really great. Pretty much my day to day. Yeah. How about you?

I feel like there's two hundred people. Yeah, hell yeah. Well, hell yeah, brother's right there. Can I get a hell yeah? Yeah. These are the boys. That's the best part about this festival. They all fucking relate.

I know. Just a grouping of fucking animals. I know. It was sick walking in here and seeing all like the death metal shirts. Yeah. It's a petri dish of everyone you want to avoid in public. I don't you... You only want to avoid them.

You only want to avoid him because you can't resist jacking them off. You know, I just shake their head. I'm like, my feet are tired. I'm fucking exhausted. Haven't even picked up my badge yet. I had to give my bag. Covered in jizz. I gave my bag to Nate.

I'm like, you check me in. He's like, yeah, I guess. What a start. It's a good start. This is what a venue. Yeah, it's a nice venue. Is that a grab at a truck? What is that thing?

Yeah, it is. Is that a... Is it a gravitron? Has anyone been on it yet? I was kidding. It's a gravitron. They make the gravitron outdoor now? Like there's no enclosure?

They just let these fucking bitches fly around. They strap you in, don't they? Yeah, but the centrifugal force. Keeps you... You know, you can take your shoes off. What happened on that front? light. I don't know. We had fun developed a foot fetish?

An hour and a half of Drake. Got fucking blacked out. Are you not in a day? An hour and a half a drink. All right, now we take guests. Yeah, yeah. All right, guys. We are our lovely two best friends here from Argue Garbage. Give it up for Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, everybody.

We figured if Tommy was blacked out, there was only one thing we could do. This is garbage island. Talk about getting a bad hand. I swear to God, hold on. Tommy texted me at 11 o'clock today. Hey, any chance you guys want to do Stuff Island at one? I said, we're in. He goes, never mind, it's two.

I said, okay, we're in. He goes, I don't get in until. 2.15. And we're not sure where O'Connor is. I said the boys are fucking bad. We never left. That's the gig I got like an hour ago. Hey, do you want to go do your own show maybe? This is why you rely on friends. Hi Tommy. Hey, how you doing? Hey. It's good to see you. How you feeling? I'm feeling great, buddy. I'm doing well. Yeah? Yeah. I like this. Thanks. I got new glasses. Things are turning around.

Oh, yeah. You got the director glasses going on. They're readers. Yeah, where'd you get those? Where'd you get to prescribe? I can see my porno videos. Looks like you get this prescribed to NASA. Look at the thickness of those fucking things.

You look good. I can't see too good at them far away. What's that? I can't talk too good when I'm wearing them. I have a little laryngitis. Largitis. Yeah.

And a touch of chlamagia. He says it's not pretty sure I got it to. What? What? Every skank fest I left spitting up phlegm looking like ectocooler. That's jizz, Tom. I think you both need to go to a doctor. Just waking up with a mouthful of gum being like, I think I got sick.

There's something going on a rest of the car. I'm going to pay you that Gravitron runner. Just get on there naked and just green slime falling out all my orifices. Wait, that's a Gravitron. That's not outside. There's no case around it. You ever seen an exposed Gravitron? Man, someone's getting some money on the lawsuit here.

I'm going to ride that thing a thousand times. I'll be owner of Gash Digital by Monday. I'll be in a wheelchair, but what are you going to do? You worked out for Larry Flint. Not so much for his wife. You in a wheelchair. Deep cut. It would be unbelievable.

What, him in a wheelchair? Yeah. Yeah, he's pushing for one at the airport. I keep saying no. They offer that chair for free. My tax dollars are paying for that. It's only old ladies with dementia. I don't know what's going on either.

Wait, did they not give you the chair? Huh? I won't let them in the chair. We got to put our foot down. somewhere. His feet have never been down. I'm down 30 pounds I'll have you know. Let's go.

He is. Nah, I'm just kidding. Suckers. These robs will believe anything. My dick's nine inches, too. Nah, I'm just kidding. I bet it could be. Listen, I don't want the wheelchairs.

but why can't we get the golf cart it's embarrassing I think you're a high roller you're moving through there in the golf cart not you dude that guy's got money look that guy's successful it's wearing a Hawaiian shirt

getting carted through fucking he's in a neck for it just hold his chick over his money over his lap it's one of those bag of Burger King like the truck bed it'd be cool you could stand on the side like the guys used to do on the tanks in World War II.

Yeah. No, not Americans? That'd be sick, yeah. Is that what it is? We're all anti-American? Let me tell you something. You stand on the side, both tires are getting blown out.

You're going in circles for two hours. Tires are getting blown out. The driver, too. Like a dolphin with one wing? The Flintstones. All right, we get it. I'm fat. That's not my point.

What? This is just water, right? All right. I'm on an antibiotic. I can't drink. I'm on an alcoholic. I can drink. Antibiotic.

How do you say it, Tommy? Antibiotic. Yeah, yeah. Does that a girl you went to school with? What? Antibiotic. Jenna Antibiotic. God, what a piece of it.

Antibiotic. Oh, look at you. Ah, the Connecticut comes through. That's a boy. How scientist. That's old Greenwich right there. Biotic. No, it's true. I usually go, I'll hit it with an antibiotic. Antibiotic. Antibiotic. It's anibiotic. Yeah, it's anion. I'm like a Z-pack myself. I do. Who likes a Z-pack?

Podcasting is over. Shut up. Where are my Z-pack people at? True. Who do you like the Z-pack? We've jumped to chart. This is crazy. Everybody flew here. you on. Thanks for the 500 for the day pass. We have not jumped to Shark. We have at least five years left in us because I blew all the money thus far.

It's crazy, dude. He keeps asking me when we get paid. What's the bag coming, dickhead? And he keeps bringing up this end of the year bonus. Then I had to give him in June. What are you bringing up old shit for? What are you?

He's confronted for an end of the year, bonus. I'm like, we've never got a bonus. You got one in June, and now he's asking for one in December. What are you spending it on? If everybody wants to buy this watch, it ain't Z-Pax, I'll tell you. What do you buy it? Everybody took an awkward zip.

Okay, what's next? What's next? I want to get back to you two fighting. Who? Tommy and? I mean, Chris? Yeah. No, we got it out. That was it?

Baby. You haven't seen each other a little bit? Just surface. What? Yeah. It's going to be fucking Peter Griffin and the chicken. 11 p.m. 11 p.m. on the gravitron stage.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Swirling around. You fucking beat this shit. I haven't seen you too much. Yeah. You don't tax you'll call. That's the problem.

You two. Don't see each other for a long time. You get mad at each other. He doesn't like me being around. Why don't you take a trip to Philly for a while? I've been doing that. I've been going to see my mom. She's cooking again.

She's cooking again. I've been going to see her. He goes, someone yells at her. You got to snap her in his shape. My dad died a couple of years ago, and she's fucking... We get it. Died from the gravitron. That's an all-time record, eight minutes into a little.

podcast. Hold on you guys back me up on this. She used to cook all the time, cutlets, chili, all that shit. He dies, all of a sudden the kitchen's closed. Yeah. She's eating fucking a wah-wah every night. I come home and there's fucking nothing in there but shit for the dog, which

these days you can't really tell what's for people and what's for the dogs. So I got caught up a couple of times. You are a good boy. It's that good boy, ball. Golly now. Go lay down. It's literally just begging strips.

Who knew? You can't tell the difference. There's a big cartoon dog on the back in. It's for me. That's such a good nickname for Foley, begging strips. Who's all there? It's me, Chris, Kev, begging strips? Well, thanks for coming.

Yeah, I'm happy to be here for sure. Yeah, for shit at time, boys. It's always fun. When we get together and Attempts podcasting You guys are doing our show tomorrow night Is that right? What?

You're doing our show tomorrow night, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so come back tomorrow at 6.30 For the same exact show, everybody. No, I'll be on drugs by then, so you're going to hold a whole different vibe. Could be worse, could be better. I was going to ask, what's the plan for the weekend? What do you mean?

I don't know. What's your strategy? We're in a comedy festival. What do you think we're doing? We're here working, baby. Maybe? I don't know. Who's got an idea of them?

Walking around, talking to all the comics, everyone said they're taking it easy tonight. Get the fuck me. I'm not doing that. What? I lied. You said they went too hard last night. It was last night fun? Yeah.

You think I flew all the way down here, left my loving wife and family to take it easy? My wife hates me, and it was a rough flight. So we're getting fucked up. Let's fucking go. Yeah, bug man. That's his alter ego. Let's fucking go. Joe Rosa, everyone.

Joey D. Joey Roses. This is Skackfest. The fuck's going out. Let me, I'll move that. No, no, no. He's bringing me a chair. He's bringing me a chair.

Yeah, you put it right here, dumbass. Oh. Kay. You know what? You know what? You know what? Well, you don't want to sit next to me? I wasn't going to make this joke, but you just call me a dumbass.

Yes, let's go. Send it. You said your glasses are readers. What are you reading besides menus? Hey, don't talk to my fat friend like that. Yeah, no, I like it. That's my job. I like it. That's funny you say that because when you walked in, I was like, oh, good, the waiters here.

Wear them sandwiches we like so much, Joe. Gummy roses. The only reason I'm here is this is the only way I could do, are you garbage? You've done all you done it. Wait, that's a suspect to us. Yeah. That's a shot at everybody. It was a pretty good shot.

Joe's fucking sniping. How are you guys? Tommy and I were on the plane together. You can attest, right? We just ran through the fucking... We had a few. Tommy was double-fisted doubles on the plane. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, what? Dude, what happened in San Francisco? What? that sounds homo iraqa so tell tell oh san frant when i uh yeah there's a bit of a flub up i heard yeah i i got fucking blocked out

after the show yeah and i got back to the hotel room yeah uh i woke up did you just check to see if your phone wasn't calling your girlfriend somebody was calling it okay that's a great move I've done that. I respect to move. No, I was looking for the bathroom.

In your hotel room? Yeah, yeah. How big was this hotel room? It was the whorehouse next door, but still. No, it was a nice sight. You're knocking around the lobby in your underwear. Well, you are. I sleptwalk.

Is that true? Yes. I sleptwalk. It doesn't happen. Yeah, I sleptwalk. Blacked out sleepwalked. That's not sleepwalking. You were just blacked out.

You're fucking drunk. For my girls. Purposes. Tommy's also, I'm not Left Walk. I blackouts left drove my car to 7-Eleven. I hit a family of three. They were sleeping. Well, look. Tommy, I didn't know you sleepwalk.

I said, well, I didn't know either. He does it. He's drunk. I was taking the golf cart to the bathroom. All right? Golf cards? Shut up. I opened the door and when it closed, my mind

came to back to reality. I realized I was sobered up. I was in my underwear in the hallway. And I didn't pissing in the hallway. And I went, no, I didn't piss. And I went, fuck. Can't get back into the hotel room. And we're on the floor.

What's this belt doing around my neck? Why is there candle wax all over me? And what's this thing in my ass? It was by myself. Thank you. And I had to walk down five flights of steps to the hotel desk. Why didn't you take the elevator? Because a great question.

question, Keff. Thanks. That's why I'm here. Did you hear the beginning? I'm not looking for the fucking elevator. I saw an exit. I ran down. Hey, you seem defensive about the answer?

That's all I'm saying. I just have a feeling you were staying in a hotel with no elevator. No, there was an elevator. It was a very nice hotel. And you didn't take it? I didn't take it. So you think it looks better you running down the stairs? I don't know where I am.

How long is this podcast? You know, I'm going to make you feel a bit better? We were in... Is this San Francisco? Let me guess. You didn't take the steps? It was San Francisco. Holy shit.

This is fucked up. You know it's going to make you feel better? You did something Foley's done. I would have walked right up to that front desk like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's going to make you feel better. I also did something like that. No, I didn't do it. It makes you feel great.

Thank you. I didn't do it. We were staying in, we were in San Francisco doing a show. This is his story, by the way. Yeah, I just got hijacked. I was telling a whole fucking story. You couldn't sit on that? I thought that was it.

There's more? Tommy, go ahead. He didn't take the elevator. Ooh. Listen, you faggots. Whoa. First faggots are skank fast. There it is.

I doubt it. It's confetti drunk. How many folks on the board? The balloons come down. No. Last time Tommy did our podcast, he was so drunk and making so many, was saying so many slurs. that Luke was sending it to us in post going,

I don't even know who this is about. And we're like, yeah, either do we just dump it. I don't know what he's talking about. Dude, on the plane, on the plane, he's sitting there. All right, this episode is brought to you by Ridge Wallet. All right? Are you tired of your wallet falling apart? You've got a giant, crusty leather brick.

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cashback offers, and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc brand. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. He goes to the lady, he goes I didn't shake at her like that, John. Yeah, you did. Snap to at her and he spit

on the floor. I did spit on the floor. But that was for a different reason. He goes, can I get a double tequila and orange juice? She goes, yeah, no problem. She walks by, I go,

Tommy, you have a full one in your hand. And he goes, the other ones to go. Yeah, I think. It was insane. Oh, man. 25 minutes in the fucking Uber.

Yeah. Just, anyway, walking down five flights. I'm like it to the front desk. What kind of underwear do you have on? Just, you know, briefs. That's nice.

Briefs, man. Yeah, of course. Okay. I would, I would do with that. What are you rocking? What? Old school cottons? No, boxer briefs.

Yeah, that's what I said. You said briefs. Yeah, that's briefs are tidy. Briefs are tidy whiteys, though. That's tiny whities. It goes halfway through the fucking thigh. No. Tighten the package.

That's a boxer brief. I'm a traditional. I was just trying to get a piece man. What is going on? I'm a traditional briefs. I do color briefs. Like a blue. That's worse.

That's worse. Can't say that word anymore. No, boxer briefs ride up your leg. Boxer briefs, when you have normal size legs, they ride up your leg. I don't know who that's a shot at, but I like it. Yeah. No, they ride up. We all took offense to it.

Fuck you mean chicken legs? I didn't take offense to it. I don't wear underwear. Yeah, you can't get them on. Wait, you seriously don't wear underwear? He doesn't. It's crazy. It's crazy, dude.

Now, I feel thinner when I just have my jeans on. on. I swear to God. Makes you feel sexy. If that were true, you shave your head. Get rid of that fucking haircut. So you're just leaking all over your jeans? So I get to the front desk.

What is? Oh, sure. And I gave like a little salute. Hey. When Hitler was all pilled up. All right. He went this way. They went, hello.

He's like, how you doing, buddy? I'm like, I've been better. I'm going to need another room kidding. And he's like, I see that. He's going to see that. You got ID? Hang on, it's in my asshole. I just cough and bend over, like a prisoner.

Chocolate ID comes flying out. Anyway, I got up to the room. Pretty cool. Yeah, we knew it was going to suck. We knew the rest of it was going to suck. Well, if you cut it up. That guy just went, what the fuck? You cut it up like that.

Well, you didn't explore what was the... It's like watching a fucking ad through Sopranos. It's not going to fucking hit right. I know, but what did the guy at the front desk? Was it like... You recognized me from earlier when I checked it. Hey, you're the guy who was drunk yelling down here an hour ago. What a surprise are you who come down at 4 in the morning in your underwear.

You're the guy that Shane said might be a problem. So Tommy, San Francisco, right? A couple weeks ago, two months ago, whatever? This weekend. No, he's talking about his same. Oh, go ahead. Do you think he's fact-checking in your story? I don't know.

I thought my friends care about stuff. I care. I didn't know you sleepwalked. He was drunk. That's still sleep-worn. I don't know. When you're that drunk and you open the door, you see the whole way. I also sleep-watched training for him, but that's just me.

I watch you with my eyes wide open. The difference is I fuck. Just getting pulled over, drinking and driving. Oh, it's sleepwalking. You calling a blackout sleepwalking is like when our dads would go, Daddy's just happy when he was drunk. It's crazy.

Then why is he hitting me? I've had enough experience with both. I've only slept walked two, three times in my life. Of course I was blacked out first. So you were drunk Two, three times Okay Your Honor, I rest my kid

Yes, of course There's a couple of ingredients You've never sleptwalk sober Like when you were a kid You'd like wake up and It's not sleepwalked, you're saying it It's sleepwalk Yeah

Right? There's no past half dog These two just stop podcasting for a minute This is like a little grab ass Oh man you guys are gonna hook up tonight You haven't seen each other a couple of months The sexual attention is probably palpable Anyway, I'm trying to make you feel better

I want to hear about San Francisco too much Can't wait to break it up five times So we do a show I go back to my hotel Is that a gravitron? It's an outdoor gravitron Hey everybody out there This festival could not be being held In a creepier fucking parking lot

It is insane what is going on to the park. Joe and I pissed on the side of the entrance. That half building that's built out there. Joe was like, wild. Labrador in the woods. They're like, let's go to New Orleans, but let's go to the outskirts. Let's go to the oil refineries. Dude, there was a guy moving dirt when I pulled up.

Like in a truck. They were like, you got to go. I was like, what the fuck is there? Ever been to New Orleans? You meet Bourbon Street? No, the coast. Ah, yes. What the fuck is going on out here?

Nuclear plant. this way, comedy festival's over here. Are you picking up gravel? You're here for Skank Fest. That's what a cop said earlier to me. This looks like the bad lieutenant sequel out here. It's just fucking nuts. I saw that. Great in that. Great movie. Yeah, great movie. Anybody have a cigarette?

No, but I'm gonna, we're gonna get some delivered. Do you want to pack? I'm already, I've already decided. Yeah, can I get some American Spirit sky blue? Yeah. Whoa, geez, who was it? Ah, my brother, thank you. Just throwing cigarettes? Anybody got cocaine? A brick flies up. We were outside, we're outside peeing.

We're outside peeing, and I farted a little bit when we were peeing. He toot it. And Tommy goes... I farted a little bit when we were peeing. Well, me and Tommy were peeing next to each other. Use your gay. And Tommy goes, oh, a little toot.

And I go, speaking of toots. If it shows up, I'm doing it. He goes, I promised myself I wouldn't. I go, so did I, brother. I love how both of your willpower gets to the perimeter of the event and you're like, all right, I'm doing it. You're not even in the building.

You're like, anybody got Coke? It's pissing. I've always respected. It's just like you lied to yourself to you got on the property. I've always respected how Tommy could take it or leave it. Just a little bit of this,

a little here, a little there, whatever. Yeah. What? Am I wrong? Shut up. Yeah, dude. Shut up. Yeah, Tommy's got a healthy balance.

That's, When I think of Tommy, I hear a guy who just knows exactly how deep-to-dibble stills you want. When you guys are hanging out. You on coat's got to be insane. Why? What the fuck is that supposed to be? He's on coke right now. Why would it be insane?

Oh, dude. I mean, you're probably just screaming at people. Oh, dude. I'm at my happiest. You finally mellow out. It's the only time I'm centered. I'm like, give you. I'm like, dude, the world's kind of beautiful, man.

The world is a stripper. You absolutely. Tell us about San Francisco. Well, this story's going to bomb. No, no, no. I'm proving a point. He can't cut up a story. Let's go, Big Dog.

I got you. I accept the challenge. Let's go. Lock in. There I was. Ferry shit. I wasn't even a ton of stories trying to make you feel better

about being a fall down drunk All right, good Also, this same night You were so fucked up that night, I forgot We're at a dive bar next to the show And there's a guy on meth In a car

driving around looking for another guy And everybody's like, dude, we're in the bar They're like closing the door They're all being pussy They're like calling the cops Foley's like, hey, man, I think you should just call tonight. That guy's not here anymore.

We've all had bad nights. Why don't you just go home? The guy's like, I'll fucking kill you. All you got to do is defuse the situation. What's he going to fucking do? He had no shoes on. He didn't. Foley's like, that's not a crime.

I go, we're not worried about him not having shoes on driving a car. That's because he was beating people off with his feet. It's very smart, man. Anyway, so yeah, I had a couple of drinks in me. I smoked a little weed. I went back to my room and I fell asleep. And it was one of those, like, Hotel Falls to sleep when you fall asleep in all your clothes

and everything, all the lights are on and the TV. Crazy. That time. He thinks, you know what you mean. One of those hotel falls asleep. Nobody does that for us. You've done that, right? And Tom's sleep walks, too.

You just walk in and you pass out. And then you wake up around two, thirsty. Everything's on. You're like, where the fuck am I? Yeah. So I wake up at 2 o'clock. I take all my stuff off. I turn the TV off and get ready to have a little night night

turn the TV off Put the irony board away Just blast and cheers And all of a sudden I hear this little I hear this little little faint knock at the door And I'm like what the fuck The hooker you called hours ago

You are not wrong You know shit So no lie I opened the door and there's a 12 year old boy Asian boy There's a 12 year old Asian boy So it was the hooker you called What the fuck, Ming?

You were supposed to be here 25 minutes ago. I passed out with my clothes off. 12-year-old Asian boys' 36 in the old year. It was a 12-year-old Asian kid from Australia with no shoes on, and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You're not Tommy, Bo. Let me see your badge. And it turns out he was sleepwalking,

so I had to put my clothes on and take him downstairs at a front desk. I'm a little awkward. I ordered a medium. I know a real when I see one This kid's Korean Anyway, I bring him downstairs And I was like

I was like, listen, the next time that happens He's like, I'm sorry I fucking, I was sleepwalking And I didn't know what room I was in So I was going up and down the hallway knocking on doors I'm like, you out of your fucking mind That's how somebody can grab you You know? Good thing, I'm a nice guy

You were saying this You were saying this to the kid? I was saying this to the kid Not yelling at him I was like, you know, next time just be careful If anything ever happens at a hotel This happens, go right downstairs at the front desk

You know? What a hero story, dude No, so then the next morning Yeah, so I do all this fucking, you know, I don't fucking kid or nothing Imagine Foley telling you, hey, hey, you can't do stuff like that.

You got to get your act together, kid. A lot of guys, a lot of guys aren't like me. A lot of guys are grabbing you and fuck you. But I don't do that no more. Fuck man, man. I'm different now. You're lucky that castrated me in Louisiana a couple years ago. That kid's in a meeting right now explaining how this was his bottom.

Yeah. No, so the next morning, We're a lot. Guys, we have one more guest. Bring on fan. And you're an old Asian boy. His name was Bobby. His name was Bobby because he was. He was an Australian kid.

There was like 100 kids there on a big field trip. So the next morning we're sitting there waiting for our Uber. All these kids start coming out to get on buses. And I see him. And I start yelling. And they're like, yo, Bobby, fucking kid ices me. But dude, that kid's with 100 of his fucking classmates. and there's a 400-pound man

in his dad's dead his dead dad's cross going Bobby it's me Bobby! And we're like shut the fuck up man. Hey Bob, thanks for last night Mike. Remember be safe. Should have thanked me for last night.

It was just embarrassing. He used to be in front of the other kids like I'm a fucking dickhead. Probably all thought I was a gnarc. So, anyway, I wanted to make you feel better. I've also been to San Francisco. What did Bobby say when you told him that, like, guys would try to steal them?

I didn't say that. I was just said, you know, I was like, where are your parents? He's like, they're back in Australia. I'm like, what the fuck? You're Asian. What the fuck are you doing? It's like shooting fish in a barrel. I told him, like, nicely.

I wasn't like trying to scare him. I was shaking him. I was like, what are you now? I don't want to scare him anymore. He's freaked out. It was weird, though. The guy at the front of this, it happens all the time. It must have been the weekend after a cycle here.

Why do you think I took this job? I'll just put him in the cage with the others. Tossing out Burfee. Tommy's in the cage with him. Be here soon. So, wait, did you finish your story? Yeah. What's the end of your story?

It's not like that. See, I had a nice ending on her, right, when I was talking to Bobby. Yeah, it was good. It was cool. I can see Tommy getting more and more vans. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm chilling. You tell your mustache. When Tommy's mustache starts sweating, look out. Sorry.

It's like Gallagher hitting a fucking watermelon. Holy shit, it's a gravitron. what did the guy say to you nothing no he he remembered me when I checked in thank God and then

he didn't go like geez man yeah his eyes his eyes did a lot of that he didn't go like come on dude it's a nice hotel it's a very nice hotel

and again just this sad wave going hey how you doing that's better though it's better than it's in a nice hotel. Nice hotels that don't say shit to you. Do whatever the fuck you want. Well, I came out of the, I barrel

out of the last set of steps. Yeah. Oh, that's a good look. That's all right. You know, it's just, you know, exploding through the door, I need a root. No, no. No, no. Because I was hustling, because I was fucking naked and cold. And then as soon

as I bucked that corner and I see the front desk, I just started softening up. Did you still have to piss? Yes. Yeah. So were you like dancing? letter. Hold this picky. Sir, I get a tinkle real

bad. I should have the fucking Charleston all over there. Nice hotels are the best for that. You know what sucks? A shitty one. Super 8, don't call a cop on you. No, they expect that. What the fucking... Yeah, Super 8, don't fuck you. Yeah. They will. Can't have visitors and shit like that. Indian owners of shitty motels.

They don't fuck around with... Huh? What? Indian owners hotels? Hotels, yeah. Yeah, they'll jam me out. Yeah, they jam me out. Yeah. Can't smoke in there?

What do they do coming down in fucking undies to an Indian owner? What the fuck is wrong with you? What you're doing? What are you doing? I think you're robbing them, you know? See, if you didn't cut it all up. What was the elevator ride back? Do you take the elevator back up?

stairs again. That would be fucking nuts. Might as well get my steps in? Yeah, yeah. No, I earned this. Waiting for the elevator in your underwear with the room key. I'm scared. Yeah. Got it.

Once you had the key, did you feel better? Yeah, of course. Because you go up to it with pride or were you like, you know, doing this thing? I was scared the whole fucking way. I'm not going to talk shit. Why, you got a good body who gives you shit? What was that? Not that good. What do you mean?

To be in his underwear? Can't overcome naked in a hotel. Yeah. True. There's, yeah. True. Dude, if I was naked in a hotel. You got a tight body, too.

What do you think they would have done to me? No, no, no. Call the coroner. His dead guy's walking around. Chris could gain 100 pounds tonight and lose 200 tomorrow. The kid's built different. Yeah. He's got abs.

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Now back to the episode. It's his Audi belly button. You have an Audi? Yeah, he's got to be... In your 30s? Yeah. You got to get that looked at. He's 40.

Does it go away? Yeah, it's supposed to? Does it go away? It's a hernia. Because your mom was fat Did you have an Audi and now you got an I'm not an Audi? I drive a jeep

Nothing on that That's good That's good pop pop humor right there I like that a lot No I've never had an Audi I'm not a fucking He's 50 You got an Audi belly button

I don't have an Audi I got like a bit It's a piece of bubble gum in there It's right on the line It's not sticking out outies were always for skinny malnourish kids that were tall and they hit their girlfriends sounds like you're talking about one guy yeah donnie it's also funny that he said kids that hit their girlfriends he's on some kid in fourth grade beating the shit out of his girlfriend

you gotta start early he was in eighth grade he was dating a 21 year old i swear to god he was one of those kids that could uh you know like a light pose he could he could do sideways on the light pose. Oh, yeah. He's a Russian gymnast. Fucking freak. He was a Puerto Rican slasher. He was knocking around a 21-year-old at 13. Yeah. Crazy word. What the fuck if you've been up to? What?

What the fuck have you been up to? Yeah, Joe. Just now? I like how they were like... Now, since I last saw you. I've just been in Austin, just hanging out doing, you know, comedy shit. I mean, why are you fucking coming up to you?

I don't know. I'm trying to bring you in. No, I'm just listening. I wasn't about DeRosa. What's that? I wasn't outing him or anything like that. No, no, I'm not saying you're, wait, what? What's that? I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm not coming at me.

I'm not coming at you. I thought it was weird too. I'm just sitting here, listen to them. I'm sorry you don't have a small boy story to share with everybody. Jesus Christ, you guys are going real. Yeah, I bet you do. The Rosa's got a large man story you can share. I bet you do.

It's like a table of ants. I know. Some of my mom and her sister. What was that? You didn't like the cheesecake? I know. You were telling the cheesecake. Foley was telling that story,

and then Chris just mid-sentence, turned around and went, Joe, what's new with you? What do you been up to? That was psychotic. That was nuts. It turned to me like we're sitting at a wedding table together.

What are you been up to? So who do you know? What the fuck? You do the sandwiches. I'm trying to let Tommy finish his story before he strangles one of us. And I don't like that I'm the closest. I feel like you're not telling us the full story.

No, that was it. That was it. No, that was it. I wish it was more. No, there's more. I think it's just embarrassing enough. I think it's very embarrassing. Thank you for sharing.

Tommy, it's not embarrassing. Fuck these guys. You were sleepwalking. Yeah, sleepwalking. It happens. It happens. Fucked out. Fucked out.

This guy snores like a bear. You can hear him fucking three totals away. Yeah, you pig. You snore? What's your problem? He goes upstairs with his bag of gummy bears and sucks fucking saw and wood. That was very specific

till last night. I like that. I like that. I like the gummy bears. Yeah, me too. What? What the fuck? It's a great treat. What do you? You go harribo? Yeah, Harrybo. Haribo or nobo. Yeah, what the fuck are we talking about? Are we talking about? This is, I'm not a fucking trial here. Yeah, everybody's got their little hotel things. You sleepwalk?

If all he gets hookers. Gummy bears are the shit, by the way. Yeah, thanks, Joe. Yeah, fuck these idiots. No, no, Tommy knows, you know, and I know. Gummy bears are the best, it's the best candy of all time. Oh, I don't know that. It seems like you're anti-gummy.

I thought you were eating actual bears. He's working at the Haribor. I like Grizzlies myself. The taste tester. Yeah, work for Haribov. Yeah. No, no, the, what is it, Haribo? Harrybo.

Yeah, that's the shit, man. The German company. It is. And you can get them made in Germany or made in the U.S. You got to look at the back of the package. I'm deep in. I'm deep in. Your wife's turning, I'm in the Reddit, I'm in everything, dude.

I'm learning. I'm learning. Tommy told me once that he ate for years would eat an entire bag of gummy bears. Oh, yeah. Every single night. Family size. Yeah. Family size.

I told Salvo. And backed it up with the Snickers. I told Salvo Cano that. and he looked like he had seen a murder. Good. Good. He doesn't live in his life, dude. Yeah, no. But when you told me that, I started doing it, and I was like, oh, I get it. You get it. I'm four nights a week. I'm doing a bag. You heard that story. You heard that story, and you went, I got to start doing that?

That's fucking insane. No. Tommy's putting down a whole bag of gummarts. I got to get my numbers up. He's very competitive, dude. He's competitive. It didn't inspire me. It wasn't like watching. oh I get it I get it now I just just one night I was like I'm craving gummy bears and I ate the whole bag and I was like now I see what the fuck Tommy's talk is anybody not eating the whole bag it's impossible not to yeah you start you start going in for

big fucking handful yeah yeah and it's never enough no problem is you come home late night it's a whole mouth full of gummy bears and you're hungry how does that take to chew is your head hurt I don't chew much most of them are going down a hole whole. Like a plug with no teeth? Yeah. Yeah, I'm popping them back like Judy Garland with fucking pills.

You had a bottle of vodka. Yeah, mine was whiskey. Yeah, no, I didn't believe you, and then I asked Shane because you guys were roommates. Yeah. And Shane was like, oh, yeah. I would come home and catch Tommy snoring on the couch with a empty bag of gummy bears in a glass of whiskey.

He's got videos. We both have videos of each other that we won't release. because we're waiting for one of us to fucking start the fire dude Mutually assured destruction Yeah Total commitment

Well what's your What's your snack? Like what's your You know what I mean? I don't snack He eats Asian Boy No that's me

I'm You don't snack at all They save the kid's life I'll go I'll hit some pirate Pirates Booty. Pirates Booty. Come on.

That's his name? Nobody? Nobody. No. Give me over my Aunt Trish, everybody. Over Cheetos? It's Pirates. Yeah, well, yeah, definitely over.

You Trader Joe's pussy. Pirates Booty? Yeah. Those things got no bites them. It's like eating cheese flavored air. Exactly. I need some fucking preservatives of my shit. Fuck out of here with that.

What are you talking about? The Pirates Booty. a pizza on your toilet for a month and eat and slice when you went. Well, that's not snacking. That's three courses. Every day. Do you guys know this story? Do you know the pizza on the toilet story? Chris? I don't think

I know it. Oh, dude. No, yeah. It's the craziest. I was living in a... If you know, Chris, you'll understand. There was the epitome of his personality. Yeah, from like 20s. 17 to 2020 I basically haunted the attic of an apartment building

It's a cool dude Yeah yeah I would just sit up there and I would drink And I would just order pizzas And just there was actually There was like a theater next door And I would just watch people walk into it What city is this in?

Philadelphia Okay, I've heard of it And yeah So I would order a pizza and then I would just slowly eat it over the next like four or five days. No, that's not the story. You guys ever been sad before?

No, I'm about the crust on the back of the toilet. Yeah, so then why? Why? Put the pizza in the bathroom on top of the toilet. Why? I got to stop you there. Why? I was probably middle of eating a slice and also had to piss. I just walked it in there. So you brought the entire pizza. Not just the slice.

Yeah, yeah. Why not just carry the slice you're eating and go pee? Why bring the entire box? Well, I was in the middle of something. Where's the crazy line? He's a very busy man, De Rosa. He's in an attic. How long are these pisses?

You're bringing a whole pizza in? No, I wasn't a long piss. It was just like I was, you know, I had in my hand and I walked in there and put it down, pissed. And then I just left it there. Well, he left a pizza. And then I'd go in there to, you know, take a piss in the morning and go, oh, fuck, pizza.

But wait a minute, I'm really asking this. you're in the habit when you eat pizza, you're holding the whole box the entire time? You had the fucking balls. You had the balls to scoff at gummy bears? You fucking animal. What are you talking about? Pizza's a meal.

Gummy bears is gay snacking. But it's not the point, Chris. It's carrying the whole box around? Yeah. That's like carrying a whole turkey around. That's like the least cash. thing in the world to do in your house. No, no, now, no.

Well, grow the whole meal. Alone in the attic. Well, you know, you don't want to be in a situation where you have to cross the room again to get your little slice. Because you're on a ship crossing your landing. You're in a fucking attic. Oh, dude. Yeah, when you're, when you're... No, the real story is you like...

You're lying in bed in your studio apartment and the pizza's all the way across the room. You're like, I'm not going to eat for another four or five hours. Shit in your bed. I wish I was in the bathroom right down. You leaving the crusts on the back of the toilet? Oh yeah, because the crust got too tough to get... The crust can get tough real quick, though. Joe, you got to give them that.

You got to give them tough crust. I'm on your side with this. The day two, three. The crust does get tough. How is carrying it into the bathroom stop the crust from getting tough? It was hot when I brought it into the bathroom. But it's not hot when you return to the bathroom. Yeah, I know, but it's still good.

If you turn the shower off for 10 minutes and brings the moisture back, dude. That's seriously the sickest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. You're not even getting to the insane... I didn't have a lot of counter space. The top of the toilet was... It's also not counterspace.

Oh, shit, toilet. Yeah, put some books up there. Yeah, I guess if you're thinking... Reading me too. Most of my meal prep on top of the toilet. It's where I hang a picture of my grandma. Fucking idiot. Cabin space.

Dummy. No, he left a piece of crust on the back of the toilet for three months. Wait, out of the box or in the box? Out of the box. Well, once I was done with the pizza, there were some crusts left, and they just kind of sat there. Three months. So every day, he'd go in there to piss. Look at the crust, and he goes, I can't toss that.

I kind of get that, though. What? I don't know, what's bothering you about this? What's bothering me about it? Yeah. What's not bothering you about it is the question. I don't know. Seems no harm or no foul.

That's insane. There's a trash can right next to the toilet. He could have went, oh. You'd think that trash can's not full, and he's taking that out every fucking day? That was in a tiny apartment. I had a tiny trash can. I couldn't forget a whole box in there. Let me be very clear.

If I went into your bathroom and I saw a trash can in your bathroom filled with pizza crust, that would scar me for life. A hundred percent. Let alone if I saw pizza on the back of the toilet. Just sitting there. You've never eaten in the bathroom? All the time, Chris, but I bring enough for the one meal. I don't bring leftovers in for later.

That's bad shit. That's bad shit. No, no, that's just an arbitrator rule you're setting up in your head, man. That's crazy. Once you're eating in the bathroom, we might as well store some food in there. Man, I think I'm getting more on O'Connor's side on this, the more he talks about it. He was depressed. Yeah.

He was depressed. If I had a pantry, you know. Bathroom just becomes a pantry. It's different now. It's disturbing that your apartment had more living space in the shitter than in the rest of the apartment. That's the other part, I don't understand. What was going on in the rest of the apartment that you had...

It was in an attic. It was in an attic. Truly attic. Yeah. Even an attic. It was like Yoda's house. There's more space outside of the bathroom. It's a fucking hot toilet.

I didn't know it was an attic. Why are we living in an attic? Actually, we just glazed over that part. Now that you mentioned it, well, That's a good point. We all accepted you were just such a loser that you were living in the hot attic. We're like, what were you doing for dinner?

It's crazy. It's like the saddest Walt Whitman poem. It's like, and he would just smoke. I'm sorry for talking about. He would just look out the tiny little triangle window on the third floor attic in, I don't know, 150 degrees. And he would smoke a cigarette

getting fucking blitzed on 10% Yeah, to get super and watch people just walk on the fucking paper. Oh, wacko my wacko. By the way, that's how shitty Philly is. He'd rather stay in the 150 degree attic than go outside.

He's looking like, these guys are nuts. When the pizza's on the toilet, you're not exactly presentable for outside activities. In Philly, you're just fine. Nobody's going to bat an eye at it. Why were you living in the attic, though? I was what I could afford.

And it was above an art studio? No, no, no. It looked out at one of those theaters. Oh, just a family. Yeah. Must have squirrels upstairs or something. Yeah, I was right on Broad Street. They didn't know he was up there.

Who the fuck keeps stealing our pizza crust? That's heavy, too. Broad Street's heavy. Yeah, yeah. That's heavy, man. All right. Are you looking at the Wall Street Theater? No, what's the other one?

AMC? With the glass. Regal. The Met? The Met, yeah. Yeah. No, no. Miller.

The Symphony. No, no, no. What's the main one on Broad Street? The Met, the Met in Philly December 13th. Are You Garbage is going to be there. That's what I know. I think it's that one. Merriam?

Merriam. Merriam. Okay. Hi, yes. Beautiful theater. Beautiful. Very nice theater. We've killed the crowd on this.

Have we broken the record for the longest podcast yet? What's going on? I don't know. I think we're sorry. We got some time left. What? Tom's eye, Chris are up. Look at it. Chris. Where did you move to after the attic? After the attic, I moved in with him.

Yeah, but how long we've been gone? I moved to New York with Shane and Tommy. Yeah, a little over an hour. Kev. You got a problem with that? Okay. 50 tops. It's fucking... Yeah, 10 more minutes. All right, I was making a joke. I don't know why everybody got the fucking clocks out.

No, I think... You can all suck my... All of a sudden, you're fucking bookkeepers. Shut the fuck up. You were late, cock sucker. That's why I got to do another tent. I think me living in the attic hit these people too hard. Fucking bumming her.

I'm looking out of the crowd. I'm seeing a lot of attic dwellers in here. Everyone's going like, that's my life right now. Yeah. I got to get a pizza. Does anybody live in a basement? Oh, basement. Anyone ever lived in a basement?

Yeah. I lived in Kevin's basement. Foley did move into my basement. There wasn't a door on it, and I would have to go down to fluff up my clothes in the morning. He'd run through it, dude. And, dude, his fat ass would just be fucking, he'd just be spread out, and he liked me turning the dryer on. He said it was, like, cozy. Spending $200 for a little bit of heat, it's so fun.

This is at a time where I would have to borrow money off of him, and he did not let you forget. He'd give it to you. Whatever you need it. He's a good friend. give it to you but I'll give it to you yeah loan shirt you were on the sheet and for the fucking till you got it back to him and he were doing you were what thirty seven when you moved to my basement yeah yeah yeah basically and he would call himself the pit bull and he goes we lived in south philly because you don't have to worry the fucking big dog pit bulls

downstairs where to god he goes I'll take care you our roommate Phil got brutally beat up on the front step in the side alley and Foley slept the whole entire time. The dryer was on. Dude, he got beat up on every inch of the property by like a group of teenagers and Foley's like That's outside my jurisdiction

You cross that front door You're fucking dumb Unless the dryer's on The pit bulls ready for anything except sleep apnea That's what brought me down, Joe. All right, guys. Thank you so much for coming out. I really appreciate it.

Thank you, thank you guys. Keep it going, great. Kevin Ryan, Joe DeRosa. Stuff iron. Thank you guys. You guys enjoy the fact.