Stuff Island - Boys Trip - Stuff Island #235
Episode Date: May 20, 2026Nick Murphy joins the boys this week Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up ...some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Download the app now and sign up with code STUFFISLAND. Claim your FIVE HUNDRED FLEX SPINS and choose your slots! The Crown is Yours. In partnership with DraftKings Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit CCPG.org Please playresponsibly. Twenty-one plus. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. Non-withdrawable Spins issued as fifty spins per day for ten days, valid for select games only and expire each day after 24 hours. See terms at casino.draftkings.com/promos Ends May Third at eleven fifty-nine P M Eastern time. Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code STUFFISLAND. That’s promo code STUFFISLAND. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. ake Cheers Restore after your last drink or before going to bed and wake up feeling at least 50% better — or your money back. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order at CheersHealth.com/STUFFISLAND #Cheers #ad Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, what happened?
One of the all-timers.
One of the all-time days.
It was, dude.
Boy's trip.
I've never had...
How far did you go?
It was more of a boys walk.
It wasn't really...
It was very quick.
It was so succinct.
The process was unbelievably fast.
I got a text from Tommy and he goes,
you got shows tonight?
Might need your help.
Yeah.
I sent it out to three boys.
I said, Chris?
Yeah.
You and Butterly.
Nice.
And I was like, these are three guys that probably...
of cables and no more than I do about
a vehicle. What did you say? What did you
text him back? He goes
I have my car's fucked up. I was like
well he goes he goes
It reminded
I'm out. It was also
He was a dead inside
couldn't possibly
No no no
This is what happened
Also I had just I had just
finished like working out
And so I'm like my brain's like all foggy
And Tommy calls he's like my battery's dead
I got to fucking take my car
Can you help and I was like oh yeah my car's
fucked
that's what I know
let me call Nick
Tommy can you help me
yeah
can you go over here
I meant to call you
yeah
keep your dick sucked
to get this
dead out of this
no I went to central market
and my girl
and I have this like
competitive nature
she's so fucking good
at central market
Central market has like little
departments
obviously
like any place
she knows a layout
she knows where to go
she knows the shortcuts
So she'll break down her list when I go, right, for just us solo.
Solo mission.
She's a-dra-you-map.
She's an Army Ranger.
They turn into the Terminator in the grocery store, man.
She don't map it out, but she'll put all the ingredients based on your entry point, what ingredients to get and your whip around and what ingredients are on that list.
So she'll block it out.
And then after you go to like the wine and celtzers, cut through the cheese aisle, get the soy milk.
leave your cart
she gives me
detail
this is seal team six
they need to do
they need to do zero dark 30
but it's all limited
zero dark 30 but it's a grocery store
it's all female
I was clear in every fucking angle
I was clear in every fucking angle
I had like 15 things to get
you know I'm going through the butcher
I gotta get steaks and chicken
I'm gonna fucking I'm bopping
and I'm a cart full of all the wrong stuff
you gotta blow it up
get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
I just blow my brains out.
I'm breaking records and I'm so excited.
I parked by the gap
because I was already locked in, right?
So by Central Market,
there's all pregnant women.
Everything's going.
And women are like fucking ants at like 3 p.m.
During the week, they all come out of a fucking hole.
And they're, you know, they're playing with their kids and I'm on a mission.
Yeah.
Get your fat belly horror out of,
my face. I got to get
the steaks and the arugula, the
soy milk, and almonds.
What time are you going?
I went up like... It was like 3.34
o'clock. Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah.
Yeah, it's close.
I mean, because that's when they go, dad's
coming home. Dinner's got to be ready by
536. That was on me.
It's an army of pregnant. Right, but just like
you, I was just getting back from the gym. I had a fog
in my skull. And I said, let's sit around
for an hour. I do nothing. I fucked up.
The fog.
Park in front of the.
Gap.
Yeah.
Another bunch of Prego horse are bopping in Gap.
So I walk like, I don't know, 50 yards.
Yeah.
To the central market.
In and out.
Dude, I'm breaking time.
I can't wait.
Everything's going too well.
Too well.
Yes.
I get in my truck and it just...
The clicks.
And then it went...
Yeah.
You know that...
Yeah.
I know immediately.
It's the only thing I know outside of a flat tire
and empty gas tank.
Yeah.
I know when your battery guys...
These aren't the headlux.
Yeah.
First thing I checked, I was like, I leave the headlights.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then I was like, oh, fuck, so I called an Uber.
I didn't want these groceries to go bad.
So I took an Uber, and the Uber guy shows up, and I asked him, I was like, there's no
cables?
Yeah.
I was going to a shot, you got cables on you, right?
Amazing.
Huh?
He's Arab or something.
And I was like, he's like, how are you doing?
And I was like, my truck, the battery's dead.
You don't have cables, dude?
and he's like, ah.
And he just turned back,
waiting for me to just like put my C-Pone.
He wasn't even understanding.
He's like,
HDMI?
What do you mean?
What type of iPhone do you have?
You tried to play Xbox and back of car?
He probably thought you just said pretty good.
Yeah.
No,
100%.
I was sweating my dick off.
You got cables?
Oh, very good.
Beautiful weather.
Beautiful day today.
dude, I was like, where the truck was at the gap, the car is kept his conversation tree
doesn't go beyond that.
It's like the grocery list.
Yes or no?
If he says yes, go this way.
Sir, do you have any cables?
Oh, me too.
Me too.
If he says me too, call friends.
So I waited there for a bit.
Calling an Uber to ask for kids.
Cables is amazing.
Well, there's a chance.
Yeah, you got to guess.
There's a chance.
But I got comfort.
I should have,
I probably should have got like Excel, you know,
got an XL and maybe they got,
they got cables.
Excel boys got cables.
You're paying for the scratch, you know?
So I just waited.
And all these ladies are going left and right because the way I was parked,
I obviously don't reverse in because I'm going to fucking dickbag,
holding up traffic.
Yeah.
To say, what, 30 seconds?
Get the fuck out of here.
I'm going to pull it.
in. So now my bumper
is on the curb and then the
glass of gap is right in front
of me. So I waited for a bit
to see these cars, the cars
in between me, sorry,
on the outskirts of me, to see if one guy
pulls up and he's got a truck or something. Yeah.
I'm waiting for a man. I got
40 fucking librarian. Oh, that's great.
In a row and I was like, I got to get out of here.
I'm sweating my dick off.
Right. They probably have cables. Lesbians
have cables. They do, but they're very
nervous. Yeah, yeah. And I'm
This is like, I know the sun's up,
but it's still fucking creepy.
You're not the right diplomat for a lesbian.
Just getting their attention, they run away.
My cologne is like soaking
into my flower shirt.
No one's trusted.
If there was a lesbian nation, you would not be the ambassador.
Oh, dude, for sure.
If I saw a bull bike, I want to jump,
I want to jump on our back and choked her out.
They sent Domney to the meetings like,
these brosso put out for nothing, me.
Can't give them to do anything.
I've been here for 35 minutes.
Don't bust.
Dude, they yap back.
It's insane.
So I get home, I send the fucking calls out.
Nikki says I can get there like 40 or whatever.
I called my boys at Flamingo Automotive.
Yeah, I trust in love.
Shout out to Flamingo Automotive, dude.
Shout out.
Promo code Stuff Island.
Get a free car at Flamingo Automotive.
Suck out the dent of your car.
No, they were great.
They were like, you can't get it here by six.
It's going to close.
Just drop it off.
Don't block the street.
And we'll try and get it to you tomorrow.
And then he shows up.
And there's two cars to the sides of me.
We have the same.
Oh, this was the funniest part.
Because then we just, there was nowhere to go.
There's cars on both sides of you.
Yeah.
And because you didn't back in, it's just the curb.
So I can't get up there.
Yeah.
So we had to wait.
Yeah.
We went and parked.
Hold on.
Hold on.
On on.
You got out.
We scout it.
And he reversed into his scouting position.
I always back in.
The way I should have done.
I always back in.
Sorry for insulting you back there then.
We'll talk about that later.
Yeah,
yeah.
No, but you got to have eyes on the situation.
We got eyes.
That one you had to, but I always back in anyway, but yeah, that one you had to.
I brought two ciders because I knew there was going to be a fucking, you know,
we're going to be bird dog.
Yeah, yeah.
It felt like we were waiting to see his wife was cheating on him.
That's what I felt like we were doing.
It was undercover.
It felt like an undercover thing.
But we're only like 20 feet away from the car.
It's the wire.
Yeah.
And you don't know.
But we're just waiting for a pregnant woman to move for a car.
You don't know if she's stocking up her fridge at the central market or if she's popping in the gap looking for.
If it had gone a little bit longer, Tommy would have started grabbing a, hey, hey, is one of these yours?
Please.
Dude, I'm not kidding you.
We bet as soon as he puts it in park, car comes out, I go, oh.
It's like that meme with DeCaprio was like, we got a hit.
We got a hit immediately due to his 30 seconds.
And he's like, he's like struggling to get the car into the spot.
You kind of called it because you said the central market's pretty quick in and out anyway.
Yeah, but I was worried about the gap area.
No, no, you're right, you're right.
You know?
Yeah, the shopping area.
Who knows?
Who knows what these pregnant bitches are popping around doing?
And sure enough, right in there, gets the cables locked on.
What about when they got in the car?
Did they sit?
No.
No, no, no.
They went right out.
She was all business.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude.
That's nice.
Before I start this process, I want to say I was sitting on the couch between the 45 minutes that Nick came to pick me up and just despondent and angry.
Yeah.
And she's like, it's fine.
Because you're thinking this is the rest of my day.
Yeah.
You could have been in an accident.
The car could have got fucked up like yours.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong.
You know it's the battery, right?
I'm like, I think it's a battery.
But I'm thinking about the next three to four hours of my life going to down the drain.
with anger and frustration.
It was the complete opposite of that.
We didn't finish our beer.
Yeah.
So we cracked a beer.
We had three sips.
He charges it up.
We drop at Flamingo another four minutes
from Central Market, no traffic, back road.
Drop it in.
The guys at Flamingo are still on set.
It's still on set.
Well, on site.
I'm used to acting.
They're watching tires when you show.
Oh my God, you're here.
They were so cordial, gave paperwork within like three minutes.
Dude, I was home.
I had this much of my beer gone.
That's, it was.
I want to say we were under like 25 minutes total probably.
Total.
You know what's so funny?
Door, he picked me up and then dropped me up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Flamingo.
And I told you this.
The first text, when you said, you have spots tonight because we've been talking
about this for forever.
Well, no.
I thought this is, you're finally want to go do my open,
mics with me. That's, that was what I thought. And then you're like, I might need your help.
And I was like, oh, man. Nope. No way. Tommy's trying to do spots. Yeah. Of course.
Nope. My battery's dead. I need your track. I need your cables, actually. I need you to cancel your
open mic. No, I still made it to all my shows. It was very, everything went quick. It was great.
Flawless victory. Yeah, I thought so. That's one in a million. That fucking rocks. I've just, I've had that
happened so many times that I'm used to
you know I always got the cables in the back
yeah so just in case I gotta get some of those
I've had to juice other people yours went surprisingly quick too
it was just the one I just turned on my truck and then yours fired up
sometimes it's still you need more you gotta do extra shit
really but even that yeah what I hate is that BMWs
don't have both bolts terminals yes so you gotta put
one on the battery and then one just on the car also the battery
It's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to clamp it to somewhere else on the engine.
My getting warmer!
It's insane.
Yeah, yeah.
It's insane.
Yeah, it's insane.
Yeah, I haven't hung out with an Indian in years.
Indians love.
That's not true.
You weren't you just in the car with one?
Oh.
No, he was Arab.
Oh, okay.
Sand Indian.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that passes.
That's a good experience.
I had a bad, I had a bad bar experience.
I had one of the most...
Bar?
Bar?
Yes.
I went to
fucking what's it called
I was in South
South Austin
it was a cool
it was a cool looking bar
but I go in
Kellies
no it was
we just guess for 15 minutes
It's a place we go to
No it wasn't Kelly
It wasn't Kelly's it was something else
God I wish I could remember the fucking name
Because I fucking hate these fucking bartenders
Well let's not plug them
No no
Let's leave it out into the
Not plugging them
I almost want to
McGilla who gives a shit
their way but yeah i go we go in there it's we went to i went to the mac de marco concert on
saturday night i we go into this bar afterwards there's like four or five of us and uh i go to the
counter we're trying to order beers the bartenders are doing the thing that i cannot
fucking stand which is they're looking at the they're looking at like glasses they're looking at
ice they're like refuse to look up and make eye contact you and it was it
It was not, it was crowded, but it wasn't busy.
Yeah.
Everyone, like, had their drinks.
There was, it was literally maybe only me and one other person trying to order.
That's a problem.
Yeah, yeah.
So, this is a total breakdown when there's only a few people.
No, no, it was packed.
Oh.
But, like, everyone had gotten.
But he's saying everyone was already served.
Yeah.
It wasn't.
They weren't still getting slammed.
One guy starts cleaning a cup.
The other guy starts helping clean the cup.
The other guy goes against his cables to put on the cup.
me juice you back up.
So I'm losing my mind.
That's pretty funny.
Right?
Two guys cleaning one cup?
Dude, dude, it was...
Just to avoid him.
Dude, it's two gay guys.
We'll be right with you, sir.
He's just smoke coming out of his ears.
Oh my God.
He's holding it so they can...
I'm so mad.
The guy finally comes over, right?
And at this point,
I had put my, like, girl in charge
of getting stuff because
you know, I was clearly maybe they don't like my vibe.
Yeah.
They get drinks faster.
Yes.
The guy comes over to her and now we take,
we got to order like five drinks, right?
The guy's like, what do you want?
She's like, could I get a Bud Light,
a McLeob Ultra, a fucking,
and like list of throw and a margarita.
And she's not done.
And the guy just walks away.
He just bales.
Yeah.
And starts getting it.
The other guy comes over and is like,
what do you guys need?
So then we like finish the order.
Yeah, yeah, we finish it.
We get the other two.
You split the order.
And then the guy,
the other guy starts walking back
with the other beers and he's like,
oh, was he helping you?
Why would you fucking?
Oh, he started giving you shit?
Yeah, and now I'm like,
he's starting green.
That motherfucker just walked away.
And then I'm literally like,
I'm doing the thing where I'm loudly saying,
like, these guys are the two biggest
fucking shit I've ever met in my life.
One guy's got a fucking,
cool hat on and like big thick glasses.
Now we're just going all ad hom and him going right at his parents.
I was,
irate. Yeah. And then,
then, then, then,
we drank the first round. I see her over it.
Dude, this is unbelievable. It's like this happened 10 minutes ago.
Dude, this is unbelievable.
This is 14 years ago.
My wife left me afterwards.
My dog died.
My son's 14.
I walk in.
My son's helping him
clean the cup.
What the fuck's going on?
Dude.
Then this,
this sent me.
So we finished the candles.
This guy's getting fired up.
Finish the first round of beers, right?
I go back in.
I get two more bud lights.
I walk out.
There's like a separate thing
where there's a bar
and then there's like a burger place behind it.
That's like also kind of part of the bar
but not really.
Yeah.
So I,
we walk down to the burger place
with these Bud lights
and the guy outside the burger place goes
you can't come in here with those
right?
We're literally
15 feet
from the entrance of the bar
and he's like you can't come here
with those so I go all right
I walk back up
to go back into the bar
and the bouncer goes
where'd you get that beer
you just saw me walk out with it
and he was like
can't bring that in here
now they're fucking
you.
Dude, I was like,
that's why you don't say
those words as loud as you
did.
Yeah,
it's because you made
fun of his hat.
I mean,
that's why.
Fuck that place.
But you should have
doubled down.
He's like,
where'd you get those beers?
What'd you get that hat?
Yeah,
no, no,
well, this was a separate guy.
This was a black guy.
I don't know.
Okay.
I didn't want to get involved.
Yeah,
let's talk about that.
Tommy wants to talk about the black guy.
You didn't mention a black guy,
Chris.
Yeah.
Dude,
I've done that so many times
like you can't,
you can't order
with a beer in your hand, I just slam it.
I burp through my order.
Yeah.
Dude.
Get another fucking beer.
Oh, like when you, it looks like you've already been served.
You can't order another thing.
Yeah, if I walk in with this, like,
sir, you can't order a burger 15 feet from the bar you just came out of.
Yeah, yeah.
That we have a combination of contract.
Right.
So, dude, literally.
Or the reason you're here is for drunk fucking retards to fall down the steps and feed their pigs.
Right.
I'm going to just smoke my beer in fronty and go give me my burger.
Smash the glass on the ground.
Yeah.
I'll have a number two.
Yeah.
Also.
I get it's like it's a legality issue where it's probably they don't have a liquor license.
They can't be on premises with beer or some bullshit like that.
There's a patio.
We were drinking beers on the patio next to the bouncer.
I was next to the bouncer.
Yeah, you fired them up, dude.
You fired them up.
I think you give them too much credit.
I think it's a whole bar full of retarded people.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
Well, to your point also, if you're going to put them in that kind of proximity, yeah,
people are going to walk to the fucking thing.
That's the whole point.
Yeah.
That's how they make their money.
You've got a pack of wolves next to your chicken.
You're going to be missing some chickens.
You can't be like, hey, buddy, my buddy, you can't bring that chicken in there.
You can't do that.
Drops the chicken.
You're going to put your beer on the ground.
Another wolf's going to come by.
Grab your fucking beer.
Yeah, another guy goes behind finishes your beer.
I'm with five wolves.
I can't put my beard out.
Yeah, man.
They mess with you with that shit.
There's a bar I like.
It's right next to East Austin's right across the street.
It's one of the only ones there.
I like their policy on this.
Mama dearest? No, it's La Jolla.
Jolla. I know that's a thing out and whatever.
East Austin Comedy Club? It's right across the street.
Mama dearest. Oh, the one in the corner.
Yes.
To go margaritas.
La Jolla or something? I can't remember.
But they let you buy a beer as long as you don't open it and you can leave.
Yeah.
And you can take it to the talent.
Well, I like that.
Yeah.
That you can leave and they just trust that you're not going to be a retard.
They put a little piece of tape over the top just like an airport.
They don't even tape it.
They just give it to you.
Yeah.
And they're like,
oh, you're going to the comedy show?
Yeah.
Just don't punch it.
Yeah.
Just don't punch it.
Yeah.
I've never heard of that.
I love it.
That's like a New Orleans vibe.
That's like every flight I've ever been on in Austin.
They let you.
If I fly American,
I can't fly to,
if American direct to Philly,
there's no Delta.
Yeah.
They get ripped in the lounge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You go right to some bar.
You'll get me a double fucking whiskey.
And cap it up.
So if you're already in the lounge,
they let you do that?
Because they make that announcement
the flight every time.
If you're already in the lounge,
I'm getting soaked.
No, I know.
I'm talking about bringing it on to the plane.
I'm talking about on the plane.
That sounds like a jackoff massage, man.
I'm getting sucked, man.
I'm getting absolutely soaked.
I get my fill if I'm in the lounge.
I'm talking about bringing it on to the plane.
It's what it sounds like you're saying.
No, they don't care.
It looks like this.
All right.
Whiskey on rocks.
I've had to hit them with an apple juice.
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We figured that out.
Yeah.
Take a tablet and now you're hard.
Yeah, it's huge.
A bunch of horny scientists.
Yeah.
Working their asses off.
It's so wild.
Their dicks off.
Yeah.
Just sitting around with your boys going,
you feel anything yet?
It's like taking ecstasy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just waiting around.
They got delayed fuse.
Yeah, who's getting creepy first?
Wolf of Wall Street, but they just get hard.
I believe in the good scientists over at Blue Chew.
I believe they're upstanding citizens.
But they've asked you?
Whiskey in a cup.
I feel like this is starting to be.
You problem.
I feel like you're getting a lot of
You get a lot of stop at the green light type of shit.
Chris, we're glad we got you here today.
We wanted to talk to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It makes sense.
It makes sense.
You can go on through a lot,
but me and Tommy wanted to talk to you,
make sure all the fans know you have a problem.
I get it.
It makes sense.
A lot of people just going,
yeah.
Let's give this guy one once over.
Just act normal.
Yeah.
I'm acting,
I was acting totally normal.
I'm just walking onto the flight.
And they go, what's in that?
It's from my child.
It's diabetic.
What?
My child.
She's no kid around me.
No, my wife and child go on first.
And I'm a good man.
You just point to a random woman and kid.
And I wait for my...
And I wait and I drink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Apple juice.
Well, her hands were full.
Her hands full.
I stay behind and I drink apples.
I drink apple juice until I can't walk properly.
I'm the diet.
It's just in a wheelchair.
Oh, that's good.
You're that sauce.
You're getting home before the military.
They're having to push you on some kid.
I served at the Irish pub four years ago.
God damn.
No, there's so many rules around just consumption, you know, bars in different states.
It doesn't make any fucking sense.
PA was like that growing up.
Yeah.
Where it's like, you could go to a.
bar get blacked out and get six packs to go but you couldn't go liquor and beer different
places there's beer stores what are your what are the open container laws in PA there's a no no
yeah Savannah Georgia take it with you yeah you pour in a cup take it with you I still do it no I know
no I know but I'm just saying the law you know the rules yeah right yeah you got to be a complete
Neanderthal and side swipe cars like Christmas yeah yeah you get pulled over even here in Texas yeah
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
But I got hit.
Well, I was drinking an N.A.
beer on the street once and a civilian tried to get me in trouble.
That's just fucking insane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's insane.
You can just punch that guy in the face.
Yes.
I think you're legally allowed to do that.
It was crazy.
Wait, what state is this?
For N.A.?
Pennsylvania.
No, no, no, no.
No, it was a civilian just went, you cannot drink on the street.
Oh, my God.
It's like it's an N.
And they didn't.
And then what do you say to that?
It looks like a real beer.
And then they walked away.
Yes.
the point. I'm trying to psych myself out.
What the fuck are you doing? This is the warm-up round.
Yeah.
Gotta get the body ready.
Yeah. Also, you empty out at any
beer, put in fucking mezcal. Yeah, you do
whatever you want. Yeah, it's also like, I didn't do, I didn't do
this to trick you. Yeah.
You know what I mean? What age are we talking?
It's like a 50-year-old lady.
Oh, of course. Yeah.
White lady? Yeah. It was a Christmas
day. It was Christmas parade.
Oh, God. And they said that to me.
The Grinch came, man. Yeah, that's crazy.
Man, this looks like a beer. Much how this looks like a beer.
gun.
Get a fucking way for me.
It's got orange on the top.
They look like bullets that come out of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Just painting a real gun and just
put an orange like
orange finger paint in the top
and then blowing her fucking head off.
Yeah, nobody does that way.
Everybody spray paints the fake ones.
Nobody spray paints a real one.
Just get an orange silencer.
Yeah.
Your bullets look like the nerf,
the little Nerf stick things,
but it's like a hollow point.
Damn.
Yeah, she just needs to be fucked.
It doesn't matter what age.
Even 60, you can knock the dust off.
She just goes, you know what?
Let the kids drink.
Yeah, she'll come back and crack a beer for you.
She just get plowed one time, man.
You get blown out.
Yeah, you blow out Karen.
Every day's Christmas for at least three, six, five.
That's true.
I think that's the solution to the Karen's, man.
They're just not getting late.
They're not getting late.
You shouldn't care about zoning, who's having a barbecue on the street corner.
But she's also never gotten rocked by a black lady in the streets.
Dude, that's one of my favorite videos.
It's a good video game.
Yeah.
You're a Karen.
You got to avoid all the black ladies.
You got to avoid everything.
Everything can set you off.
You got like a, yeah.
You still have a Grand Theft Auto meter of how mad you are about just anything.
Right, but the meter can't go too high or else you lose.
You got to keep your cool.
It starts to get the red.
Black kids jump ropeing.
It's like two stars.
They should be in school.
Somebody opens a fire hydrant.
It's a lot of waste of water.
It's such a funny.
If you're a parent,
the goal of the game is just to have a nice day.
Get back to your barbecue
with no friends.
You could just stay inside
and you win the game.
You win the game if you just don't go outside.
You'd think, you'd think,
but you got to get groceries.
Yeah.
It's the first challenge.
That's the first challenge.
You've got to get gas and your battery dies.
I kind of go back through a seedy neighborhood.
Whose fault is this?
Not mine.
I got to get my triple A card.
I got to go back through South Philly.
You got to just get piped by your husband finding out.
That's so funny.
That's all I got to do is just relax, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just calm.
fuck down.
Like that series.
Yeah.
Getting ripped on the street.
It's the best.
Especially doing like corny parades in small towns.
Yeah.
You know?
Yes.
That's what those are for.
Yeah.
You know?
I still go back.
My buddy still lives in the neighborhood we grew up and he bought, he went back and bought a house there.
And I'll go back every once in a while.
We go to the pool.
It's time of drinking fuck around, man.
Of course.
I don't care what your rules are.
I grew up here.
I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As soon as I did.
They have potlucks.
They have.
I think you can actually booze a little bit at the pool now.
It didn't used to be back in the day.
But that's what it's for.
Yeah.
Get a little blitz to have a good time.
Yeah.
Drinking on a beach.
Drinking on the beach is great.
You drop those chairs before you even pull them out.
Umbrella, toss it.
Yep.
Crack that cooler, get one in you.
Yep.
You got to shake your feet down to like the lower towards the water so they don't burn.
Yeah.
Stare at your first piece of ass.
Cairns don't think like this.
Yeah, no.
Because they've never been hit.
Never been rock.
Rocked.
Yeah.
Just fucking rocked.
Well, I think most women haven't.
Bill Birdy should have a bit about that.
He's like,
you ever see a woman fall?
They never,
they don't know how to brace themselves.
Dude,
I've just said that all the time.
Yeah.
It's the funniest thing in the world.
It's like one of those.
It's like a scared goat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like the America's funny song videos
when you see like a middle-aged woman fall.
That gets me.
I almost throw up laughing.
It is most of a boy's childhood is like,
is practicing falling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Avoiding damage,
prexy.
Yeah,
getting socked in your face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the women,
they just...
All right,
don't say that again.
Yeah.
And just jumping from couch to couch,
jump it,
like you're just avoiding
sharp edges all the time.
Get on the roof?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They go to ACMI
for cheese plates
and key lime pie
and then fight the,
the poor kid
about his price.
Exactly.
It's like,
this is her jumping
couch to couch.
That's their talent.
Going from Wawa
to Acme.
couch to couch pitching about prices for food that no one's going to eat.
Right.
Their altercations are all verbal with cashiers.
Yes.
You know.
But then they get the wrong cashier.
Then they get the wrong.
Then they go to Waffle House.
Yeah.
And they're jumping over the counter.
Yeah.
The final boss of the cashiers.
They'll take you out, man.
Waffle House videos, dude, they have such a great reputation now.
Yeah.
Of they will just beat the shit out of you.
Yeah.
I mean, it is such a scary group.
What, Waffle House?
Yeah, working at Waffle House.
Oh, I love it.
Yeah, but that's part of the...
Dude, you just play ball.
Yeah, yeah.
Just play ball.
No, no, I know.
You're not going to complain about your hash browns at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I mean, that's your fault.
A hundred percent.
It's crazy to complain.
You go make hash browns at 4 o'clock in the morning for $8 an hour.
Yeah.
That's kind of be part of...
You can get an absolute mountain of food for like eight bucks.
Yes.
Then you leave a mountain in your toilet.
That was a joke I used to do.
I like the shit where I eat.
That's why I go to waffle.
Yeah.
That's got to be part of like the application process and the interview process at Waffle House.
It's like, you know what I mean?
What have you been through?
Yeah.
How many fights you've been in?
Yeah.
You have scars in your face?
Let me see your hands.
Listen, we're starting you on the midnight shift.
So these are going to be important questions.
It's like sets for comics.
It's like you're not there yet.
You're not Saturday at 9.
You're going Sunday at 640.
You survive?
Then we'll move you up.
Yeah.
Walking into that place.
to get a job with like a full set of teeth.
It's like, what did you go to Harvard?
Yeah, right.
What happened?
Why look at Hollywood.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
I know you're an actor too.
So beautiful.
But I'm telling you, you play ball, your family by the end of the meal.
Yeah.
Your waitress is calling you baby.
Yeah.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
Your family, if you just play ball, man.
That's it.
Eat what they serve you.
Yeah.
You know?
Street charisma.
will get anything from a fat-tidit black lady.
Yes, man.
You're getting extra everything.
Extra everything.
Yeah.
But if you don't play ball, you're getting extra something else.
You're getting smothered and covered.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Love Waffle House, man.
You guys have them out here, right?
I just haven't been the one yet.
I don't know.
Well, of course, they're everywhere in Atlanta.
Yeah.
It's good.
They're everywhere where we're from.
I don't think, I've never seen a Waffle House here.
Waffle House and PA?
Yeah.
I thought you were talking about Austin.
Once you go, once you go up to Turnpike, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a little west.
Yeah.
Go towards like Allentown, Bethlehem, Harrisburg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the western, PA kind of thing.
Yeah.
You go either northwest or south-southwest.
See you.
Yeah.
They don't need them down here.
You know?
What are they have instead?
What here?
Yeah.
For late.
night fast food?
Well, you have food trucks and stuff, so it's different.
Maybe you don't need his Walthall House as much.
There's no sitting...
I feel like an IHop, Denny's.
I hop, I guess.
Oh, they have that Culver's.
Colvers is down here.
Okay.
Which is kind of like a Denny's.
Is it?
Yeah.
Is that the one with the burger?
Some kind of butter burger?
I don't know.
Apparently they got some good stuff.
I haven't been there yet, but I've heard some good things.
Let us know in the comments.
Let us know promo codes.
Yeah.
I heard like the...
chicken nuggets are great.
Yeah.
I'm hungry.
Yeah, yeah. Did you eat?
I'd lunch.
What'd you have?
Chipotle.
That's pretty good.
I go on like right next to my apartment.
Yeah.
I go there all the time.
I always get a bowl, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those are my steroids that you think I'm on.
Do you get steak?
Chicken.
You're chicken bowl?
Yeah.
Double it up.
Yeah.
Double chicken.
Yeah.
Do you do the, the chico where you get a side of tortilla and make a second meal?
Oh.
Or you just crushed it?
Oh, no, I just crushed the whole thing.
Yeah.
You're big boy.
Yeah, man.
Do you get chips?
No.
Not every time, sometimes.
Yeah.
But it's extra.
They just told me to download.
Here's how much I go there.
They just, the employees have,
they know,
telling me to get the app for rewards points.
Yeah.
They're like, dude.
Yeah.
Get a free bowl once in a while, man.
You're really wasting a lot of money here.
Let us help you.
You know?
How many times you're doing Chipotle a week?
Dude, I go there.
like honestly almost every day
really yeah man
the same meal every day
look at me no you look great
look at me Tommy you think I'm on steroids
you look great that's the secret yeah
Chipotle bulking up
Chipotle and planet fitness
body body body body body
body body
but but there's a ceiling right
like I'm not gonna look like Arnold Schwarzenegger
yeah I get a little bulk you know
once you hit 40 you're gonna look like a
pale blueberry I'm gonna look like a tortilla
yeah look like a burrito
oh speaking of Karen
shit. This happened like two days ago.
I'm eating there
and this lady's
having a Karen out. She's freaking out.
My back is too
She's in a K-hole.
She's in a K-Hole.
Yeah, man.
Coin that.
Coin that. O'Connor, K-Holes.
Yeah. She's in a big one.
This is like, this is shouting
when there's a full restaurant, K-Hole.
She's shouting.
You don't laugh at somebody like.
that. Why would you, what kind of
a person are you? I mean, full volume.
Yeah. I'm not looking, so I don't know what's going on.
But eventually, you know, between bites, you're like,
I wonder what this is all about, you know? Yeah.
You do one of those. But I can't
see what it was. I must have missed
the interaction. She's yelling
at an employee. I saw you. Don't try to
hide back there. I saw you laughing.
And I'm like, are they laughing at her? What is
going on? And I just go back to
eating. And next thing I know,
she's at the Soda found, getting her stuff.
And I hear her talking to somebody.
And I look over and there's a little person right next to her also at the soda found.
And she goes, I just want you to know, I don't normally do stuff like that.
So you're welcome.
And the guy kind of goes, yeah, thanks.
Like he wasn't expecting that or something.
But honestly, dude, seeing it, it was a little person, something kind of funny must have happened.
I don't know what happened.
Wait, she was, was she yelling at the little guy?
No, she's yelling at an employee.
I'm putting together that.
the employee must have laughed at something that happened to the little person.
And I don't know what that is, but it had to be a little funny.
I mean, it's a little guy, man.
Did she fill up his soda?
How do you get up there?
Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
Just looking at the two of them saying next to each other already looked funny, you know?
Dude.
And he didn't seem that thankful.
Like it must not have been that egregious, you know?
That's like an insane move.
be like that would be like the biggest like for her that's like the worst bully move you could
possibly do to to a little person is to go like I did you a favor kind of thing and also just to be
that loud about I know dude like imagine now you're drawing more attention yes imagine if anyone
with a disability is next to you and you went to a whole room and you let's see to start to him
you think this is a joke you think this little funny looking fucking guy
He's worth laughing at it.
I'm telling you, man, something a little funny.
Something a little funny must have happened.
I got your back, bud.
Dude, they work at Chipotle 10 hours a day.
They're not allowed to smirk when something a little unusual happens.
You know, any idea?
What his tiny little life is like.
This is number two in the video game.
The person with a disability in line, don't say anything.
Just say nothing.
Just don't do anything.
Dude.
This person is different.
He just came over.
He jumps on to a toilet.
His waist is like Grand Theft daughter.
You just die.
This poor man shit's like a rabbit.
Do you think he wants this?
He has to get on a lap.
She has to get on the toilet.
I don't usually do this.
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want, Dr. Pepper?
That line at the end bothered me too.
He has to put a doggy door.
just get in his own house
for her to go
you disgust
you're to force a thank you
I didn't like that either
crazy you're welcome
it's like shut up man
I didn't ask you to do any of that
you know
dude there was a pack
can little men hit women
is that
is that allowed
yeah yeah
when does it become an equal
yeah
do they get into the same weight class
yeah
some of them don't
Can we do any fan?
I'm boiling in here.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the fans.
We can cut this.
No pun intended.
I sold your water.
Are there more ciders?
We can cut this part.
I can buy some next time.
You got to bring a 12 or over next time, Tommy?
Hit medium on that boy?
I'm like, I'm melting in my seat.
I'm sorry.
No, it's all good.
I'm sorry, I let you guys down.
It was too warm in here when we started.
I will say that.
It is hot today.
So maybe just it's just,
I dropped the temp.
Did we bust all the,
all the blood orange out of the,
out of the gate?
I don't want to take yours.
You got to restock.
Is that your apple juice?
That is nice.
The stair down?
I'll take it.
Let's split it.
Okay.
Last one.
Yeah.
This is me and Tommy in the Delta lounge.
Before we go,
get on a plane.
There's no split in Delta.
Yeah.
way to send fucking money to friends and family. Big fans.
Maybe someone who works at a hotel. Maybe it's a bellhop.
A bellhop. Or, you know, whatever. A surgeon.
Yeah, you get caught in that situation where you don't have cash on you.
You know, if you move. Yeah. You know what I mean? You don't have cash on you.
Movers. I've done this. Yeah. Yeah. You got to give them something.
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And now back to the episode.
Are you a Delta Lounge guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm going to get the purple card.
Oh, you got it.
Yeah, I think I'm going to do that.
I've started traveling enough.
It's a wonderful.
I know.
Yeah.
It does.
Everyone's telling me,
you got to get the purple card.
I'm up to like 750,000 miles and I use them a lot.
Yeah.
Is it all,
is it just flights or is it just expenditures?
I can't keep track now.
They used to do both.
I can't get out of silver.
I'm in the mud still and I don't get it.
I use it for everything.
Yeah.
And I shouldn't.
I got to start separating my cards for business and pleasure.
And then flights,
obviously,
you book all through the Delta card.
Yeah.
And you get a point for every dollar you spend.
But you got to set it up with Uber and stuff like that.
Because all these companies are trying to just turn into banks,
they realize that their actual business is not that great.
Yeah.
So they just want to be a bank.
It's a nice...
It's a nice...
It's a nice perk.
Is Chipotle doing that to me?
That's what's happening with my rewards.
I'm close to a free bowl, fellas.
They probably won't you get a Chipotle credit card.
Oh, that's funny.
At some point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They get one...
You should get other points.
They're like buying toilet paper and like a plunger and shit like I'm at Walmart.
They're like, sir, you get free guac.
What?
No, no, no, no.
At another place.
Dude, there was a pack of midgies on the red carpet for the rose.
Yeah, let's get back to the midgies, dude.
Holy Christ.
There was one.
Wait, were those the one that came out with Lizzo?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there was like three or four girls.
Okay.
But one was just wearing a thong and she had a fucking dump.
Her dump was on.
Well, that must have done something for you.
And then she was running back and forth on purpose to get all the black dudes riled up.
Yeah, yeah.
Because it was a shake and bake, dude.
It's fucking absolute waterbed.
Oh, my God, man.
It's crazy.
Let's plug this lady.
Let's shout her out.
That was her name, plug.
She's the plug.
A little plug.
A little plug.
It was plug this lady.
What did you think of that article I sent you about your porn star, by the way?
I was upset with how she looks.
Yeah.
She got arrested.
She stabbed a guy, I think, her boyfriend or something.
I have to pull the article back up.
I think she had a toothpick at her mouth.
Yeah, she stabbed a guy with a paperclip.
It was a butcher knife to her.
It was a sword.
Two hands.
Yeah, two hands on it.
It's so mean.
It's a petty crime.
Small crime.
Yeah, she like stabbed a guy with a knife or something.
They had to call the police.
I don't know.
That's a gutsy move.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know the size of her boyfriend or if,
like why he allowed that to happen.
Surely you can just hit the stiff arm thing, right?
And then they're doing this, right?
It's just a picture of the other guy's shins.
They're all sliced out.
Do you have a cat?
What's going on?
Yeah.
But shout out there, man.
Still making headlines, man.
Bridget and Medji.
Bridget and Midge.
Still doing anything, staying headlines.
I guess just the industry and the drugs got to her.
Their head looked like a fucking demon.
I always thought she was beautiful.
Yeah, you know.
It's like you're doing a documentary on her.
We should.
She should have her own documentary.
It's the bridge of the Mitch of documentary.
All of a sudden, Tommy Pope, tires.
Yeah, I think the drugs just got to her, you know.
I thought she used to be so beautiful.
At least half the length of a documentary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is a bomb.
And that feels like that happens, like, all the time.
I feel like most of the porn I watch is, like, old.
Mm-hmm.
Even when you think it's new.
What do you mean?
It's always like 10 years old.
Oh.
Like eight years old.
Yeah.
When you look up the person and they look insane.
Yeah.
Where are they now?
You try to be one of those.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're all cryptkeepers.
That is really funny.
Jesus.
That's funny.
See somebody get like d-ped for an hour and they go,
what's she's doing today?
Yeah.
What are that lady's at now?
Because they don't eat Chipotle Bowl every day.
Yeah.
They do.
They have like a boxer's career.
You know, when they like quit.
and then they
and then they still take
come back
and you're like
just to get knocked out
a few times
he got dementia
it's like your boxer
there's a guy
in the corner
jacket off
he's not fucking
he's fucking nothing
in the corner
he died shortly
after the city
he had to be rushed
to the ER
that was one way's jerk
that was nuts
dude
that was very confusing
Tommy put it in a group chat
man brother
it's got
I believe
because he's throwing
like you said
he's throwing
good parties
That was what I said.
They were still good-looking punches.
Yeah.
Because his fucking head was leaving his body.
Yeah, they're saying he's dead already.
Or like close to...
He died two hours after.
That was like 10 years ago.
Yeah.
Good gravy.
That didn't come up in my feet
until we talked about, obviously.
Yeah.
The Jews are listening, so they're going to fucking fire it off.
Yeah.
It is pretty funny that that came up.
Yeah.
I mean, he's not wrong.
I'm not wrong.
I don't...
I know.
Poundtier.
Keep it.
Palantir is listening.
Yeah.
They're giving you the good stuff.
Yeah.
But that's the one,
because you really only,
I mean,
boxing,
everything's targeted
at your fucking head,
man.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
isn't that the most common sport
where guys die?
Yeah.
And they get like Parkinson's like fucking.
Oh,
yeah.
They deteriorate really quickly.
Yeah,
man.
If you're really good,
you're in the league
for a long time.
Is it better to have a good jaw
or a bad jaw?
Like,
is it better to just go ahead
and get knocked out?
No,
the ultimate is dodging.
Or to,
obviously, Tommy.
Yeah.
You want to not get hit at all.
I think bad jaw.
I think if you have a weak jaw.
Right, because then you go down.
But if you have a strong job, you're taking,
but you don't feel what it's doing.
You're not making any money for all the...
No, but if you're good at dodging.
I'm just talking medically, Tommy.
Yeah, good at dodging, weak jaw.
Then you...
I'm trying to be a boxing.
It's better to stand out of the way of the gun.
I mean, right, everybody?
Yeah, obviously, man.
You look at Barry Sanders.
Barry Sanders, he never...
Same thing with the McCoy.
Because he's okay. Yeah.
We had the three running backs on the Eagles that like they're bunnies and they go side to side.
They wouldn't never crush straight on.
Yeah.
And right before they get demolished or about to be demolished, they would just dip.
Yep.
And take the hit.
Yeah.
And it was just a roll hit.
Now you can raise your children.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And Sanders did the same thing, but it was mostly his wear and taro and his ligaments and his joints.
Yeah, but he was like, I don't.
It's not your brain.
No, of course.
Of course.
You'd rather make that exchange, obviously.
And him retiring, it was like, that set the whole course of life.
It was shocking.
What about like a Jerome Bettis?
Is he all right?
Who knows?
He seems like he's good.
Because he did a lot.
All he was was a bulldozer, but he was so big that maybe it didn't matter, I guess.
I don't know.
He's got to feel it every once in a while.
I guess it's head on head contact.
It's got one of those ram skulls where it's like you're supposed to use it for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Sol's off his horns every morning.
Yeah.
So he can get his helmet.
on? I mean, that or you're enough of a problem that people are mostly kind of getting out of the
way. They're trying to like leg tackle. I think most of them were probably going for the legs.
You're right. Yeah. Nobody's going to head up with Jerome Bettis, man.
You're like, let's... Just a 180 pound free safety. I'll do it. Just in a hospital the next day.
God. Yeah. One of the greats, man. Shout out Jerome Bettis. Yeah, Jerome.
Back when I watched sports more frequently. Yeah, the Irish.
Did you get like
You have like PTSD from the
The bowl?
Yeah
No I mean that's just Atlanta dude
I mean it's sucked
But you're just so used to it
We're a battered wife
Yeah
That's what we are
Yeah
You just get used to it
Every city's like that for a while
No matter how good the season looks
We know that black eyes coming
Because we said the wrong thing at dinner
Yeah
Yeah
I've talked about this with you guys
But you had a good run with the Braves
The Braves are ripping
And now we're the best team of the league
Spoiled.
Spoiled.
We were bad for the last,
but we were not spoiled in the 90s.
We got one world series.
You were the fucking Cowboys.
One World Series.
Yeah,
but you were.
Cowboys won three at least.
Maybe four.
They won three.
It was three.
Okay.
World,
dude,
no,
the Braves,
we won one in 95.
Yeah.
Maybe I just feel this way
because you destroyed the Phillies.
Yeah, yeah.
But perhaps the best pitching staff in the league
every year for a decade.
Yeah.
And we got one world series.
Yeah,
that's crazy.
We had Madax,
Glavin,
Smolts. My boy John
Rocker. Rocker was after
there. Who's the fourth? It was
Glavin, Smoltz. We had a bunch
man. Maddox. Because you won the
NL, I just assumed you guys won all of them.
I will say, every year. It was like, yeah, we won the
pennant again. We won the pennant again.
But then we couldn't get it done.
People don't realize the Eagles until
our first championship, we
just won the division.
Division, excuse me. And then we won the pennant a couple times.
Division, I meant to say, yeah, yeah. Like two, three times.
But the division, we just dom.
dominate for like 10 years.
Right. So you don't think about it.
Yeah.
And then 10 years later you're like, damn, we only won one Super Bowl?
That's crazy.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
So that's how you felt.
So that's how you felt.
With the Braves.
Yeah.
Right.
I was, dude, I was, because I watched baseball pretty frequently back then, I could
almost name, I can name like 10 of our guys still, Javier
before, Brian Jordan.
Yeah.
Andre Scalarago, Julio Franco.
Franco.
Franco rolled.
Like a lit Chipper Jones, obviously, Andrew Jones.
Like I could go through that whole era.
Yeah.
And we got one fucking world series, man.
We had such good ballplayers and we just never got it done.
Yeah, everybody who's not a bravest man I've talked to fucking hates Chipper Jones, man.
Why?
I don't know.
He seems like a good guy.
I think he was, like, if I'm remembering correctly, he was like a pretty clutch hitter.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
So it drives you fucking crazy.
I can't think of moments of his like a David Ortiz or something, but like, yeah, I mean, he was pretty fucking good.
He's a whole fame.
He's fucking unbelievable.
Yeah, switch hitter.
Yeah.
Which is already unbelievable to me.
It's crazy.
To try to hit a ball left-handed.
I don't even...
At that level?
Right, exactly.
It's crazy.
And he would bat better left-handed, I think, some seasons.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
He was a freak.
That's crazy.
I wonder if that's because the pitching's worse.
Maybe they treat...
Yeah, does anybody, like, notably a switch hitter now?
Or not really.
Who?
I guess if you're good enough at one, it doesn't really matter.
Unless...
But there's matchups, right?
Yeah.
Isn't it infinitely better to be able to bat righty if you're going up against the left?
He isn't like left on left bad for the hitter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A lot longer.
Right.
But pitching has come so far.
I don't think it's possible.
Now everybody's just throwing 150.
Yeah, and it's dancing.
You know, I talked to a former pitcher about that?
I forget, I'm blanking on his name, but he was on the Braves and he was on the strows.
Yeah.
And during their whole debacle with the trash can banging.
But I was asking him.
I'm like, dude, why, Greg Maddox,
300 wins,
Hall of Fame,
he's not throwing 120.
Yeah.
He's a,
he's a magician out there.
100%.
I get that that's difficult.
That's what are you mean?
Skeens, I thought,
he's a 120 guy.
He's just gassing it in there every time.
No, he's not,
I know he's got movement on it.
No, no, dude, his control,
he's an absolute magician.
Yeah, I think he also has the gas.
But he can also throw a 120.
He's a big guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the fucking,
When Bionna or fucking LeBron James of pitching.
That somebody's doing that.
But it seems like there was a movement.
Get these guys just throwing 100.
Right.
And he goes, well, yeah, think about it as an investment.
Like, you know, if that's your thing,
you don't blow a rig out.
No, no, you do blow it out.
But you already signed your deal.
So now you get the surgery and now you got 50 million in the bank.
Yeah.
And that's worth it for some guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm like, Jesus Christ.
I never thought about it like that.
I've seen a couple clips, like Instagram clips where they're like people complaining that like all the young like coaching is like they're trying to get kids to just throw as fast as possible.
Like just throw gas.
Well, that's just attention from the prospectors.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the people are just recruiting.
But like.
Also, I got a heavy knuckleball algorithm.
Yeah.
So it's those are fun.
Kent DeColby.
But how many guys are doing that?
I don't know.
The last one was.
Tim Wakefield was the famous one when I was coming up.
But Kent and Colby was like, OG.
And who was the guy on the Mets?
J.P. something.
G. I forget. I think you want to Cy Young throwing knuckle balls.
Yeah, that's crazy.
They can't control it either, right?
Like, they just, I mean, they can like, obviously,
they know where they're starting the release, but.
They don't know where it's falling.
Isn't that crazy?
They need, like, a specific catcher.
Yeah?
Yeah. That's just like a knuckleball catcher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got autism?
Yeah.
Dialing it.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
Left.
Yeah.
He's just doing a Rubik's Cube in the other hand.
No, like this, the schemes thing, I saw this one, this one, I guess it was on Twitter or whatever.
But they show like the objective challenge for a pitcher, throwing a fastball as opposed to a change up, is the same speed and different hand placement.
Yeah.
So you're seeing the same flow of tunneling.
That's the trickery.
And it just enters the plate at a different time.
Yeah.
He does that with like four pitches.
Nice.
And I saw.
So he's a freak.
He's a fucking freak.
There's like they do that overlay.
Yeah, they did the overlay.
And they showed the speed of each overlay.
And like usually the overlay, you'll see like a different hand movement.
You'll see just like a different arc.
You'll see his body shift.
His body didn't move.
Yeah.
His hand placement didn't move.
That's great.
The only thing that moved as soon as that overlay came out,
the balls all came out in different places and dropped different.
areas.
Yeah.
Right.
So same speed.
You're watching this guy
deliver the same
fucking ball
and its placement
is in different
four or five places in plate.
It's also...
How do you?
Didn't he just give up a few
the other day?
Or am I crazy?
I think he got shared a couple terms.
But it's also like that might just
an off game or whatever.
He's fucking crazy.
It's also funny when
like a guy gets all that
tunneling shit down and then he still
does this every time he throws a knuckleball.
You're like...
I watched those.
conboy things and it's just like yeah every time he throws a knuckleball he does like this yeah
come on man yeah touches his hat it's fucking brutal but the the maddox stock was so sick when it came
out i think it's still on whatever it's on youtube or some streaming service but yeah it's great
is that the one where it's him and bonds talking about did we talk about this on an episode already
because it to me it's one of the best clips of just baseball it yeah it's maddx and bonds but
They're not in the same room, but they're both watching the same at bat.
And they go back and forth.
And Maddox says what he's thinking.
And then they go to Bonds.
And Bond says what he was thinking.
Yeah, it's so cool.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And exactly what happens is what they were saying.
And it's like a, you know, it's chess match.
I know, it's cliche to say.
But we may have talked about it because it struck up this memory I have as a Tony Gwyn.
Tony Gwynne was, I mean.
Between all of your all-time best pictures.
Smoltzglaven Maddox.
He only, what, struck out like.
Three times?
Something.
Something crazy.
Yeah.
It was something insane.
Tony,
Tony's the freak, man.
For like 10 years.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
Yeah, man.
I had a Tony Gwynn action figure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I like this.
Rightfully so.
Twins?
Yeah.
It's all ass.
A tiny little bat.
I'd do that a hammer.
Yeah, man.
You needed it.
Speed deem.
Get that torque.
That's why your parents bought it for you.
Yeah.
They want to make you.
anyone to look at him.
Daddy's going to play with this too.
This is your ass God.
You get it Monday through Thursday.
Daddy gets it on the weekend.
God damn.
You know how good Barry was
when he's talking?
Because they show a pitch and Maddox
guess wrong and Barry just scorches it
out of the park.
Yeah.
And Barry just goes,
oh yeah, I remember now.
He threw him something inside
and Barry fouls it off.
And then he tries it again.
I don't know, a couple of pitch later.
Home run instant.
And the line, Barry goes, can't come inside twice, baby.
Something like that.
Can't come inside twice is what he says.
He just knows it's a home run.
That's how good he was.
This is like the baseball legends always defend Barry and like his natural abilities.
It's like, yeah, the steroids build power.
But I don't care about the steroids.
I'll go on record.
I don't care about the steroids anymore.
Put them in the hall.
Let's have.
Put him in.
Let's have one year where everybody can do it.
Yeah, well, there's already nets up.
There's one year.
What do you mean?
And there's a cutoff.
I don't know, I'm trying to have fun.
I saw something the other day,
and there was like a...
Or a metal bat home run contest?
Dude, the metal bat,
they still use them in college, yeah?
I was watching a game on TV.
It's nuts, man.
These guys are juice to the tits.
Yeah.
You give them a metal bat?
The net saved everybody's lives.
Yes.
You got to have the net,
but like, dude, you get a comebacker
as a pitcher off an aluminum bat.
Now you're pitching in the corner to nobody.
You're still trying to throw.
It's like,
He's been dead for five minutes, man.
Just doing a wind-up in your living room.
It's also true.
The steroids are-
Charlie, did you eat?
Steroids or not, I saw some,
there was something about Barry Bonsing
like a four-game series.
Like, they only pitched to him five times.
Yeah.
He went like five for five with five home runs
and like 17 walks or something crazy.
He was like,
I don't know if steroids.
can do that.
You know what I mean?
That's ridiculous.
I guess the argument is maybe some of them
would have been doubles or something
instead of going out of the park.
Yeah.
But like whatever, dude.
You're not getting hits like that.
Time heals all wounds.
Yeah.
You know?
What's it been?
15 years?
That Sosa McGuire run was one of the best things I've ever seen.
Dude, that was like peak MLB, man.
Yeah.
Greatest thing of all time.
Again, when I was watching big time.
Yeah.
Sosa, McGuire.
Yeah.
Then Bonds came in.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
It was peak.
And they did it.
Like WWF.
Yeah.
That's what I was just going to say.
They felt like professional wrestlers.
Of course.
They were the same size.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every day it would just be like, dude, so, so passed him, man.
Oh, no, McGuire passed him.
It's like, I love this.
Yeah.
This is great.
Yeah.
If you can get my dad cared about anybody about the Phillies, you know you're doing something
right.
Yeah, man.
It takes roiding these dudes up to watch a ball game.
Dude, you were following it.
You were following the numbers.
Who's ahead?
Who's hitting another one?
All right.
now he's going to break the record.
It was like, it was pretty sick.
And who was the guy from the Yankees?
That, whose record they broke?
What?
You're talking about not Babe Ruth?
No, no, fucking.
How far back are we going?
Aaron Judge.
He was old.
It was like 50s, 40s or 50s or something.
Like Mickey Mantle stuff?
No, no, no.
It was like, his name was like.
Oh, Maris.
Yeah, Roger Maris.
Yeah.
Okay.
And he's just old in the stands.
Oh, yeah, he's there?
Yeah.
Just pissed off.
Oh, those are great.
That era was like his wife.
They cut to Kareem when LeBron broke his points.
Yeah.
I got to get up for this.
Every time they cut to those guys, everyone on the, like everyone on television is watching
is going, you're still alive?
That's Roger Maris?
It looks like Emperor Palpatine.
He's just melting his face.
I thought that guy died 30 years ago.
Yeah, we brought his body.
It's weekend of Bernie's sake.
He'd be here for the record breaking, you know?
All right.
It's also funny.
Those guys, they got paid like 80 bucks.
They still parked on jobs.
So they pull them out of like a home.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many players in the 70s and 80s?
Where are you taking me?
Somebody's about to break everything you worked for.
You know that one thing you still had?
Yeah, that everyone knows you for?
Well, that's over.
Yeah.
All right, Nick, you want to fire up some...
Some stuff?
Where to find you.
Hey, come hit my Instagram, hit my line.
Nick Murphycom.com.
I got some dates coming around.
We'll get some more on there, you know.
Got a little summer run.
I'll be in Chicago and September.
That's a ways from now.
That's all right.
But get your tickets now.
Because it'll look better.
Yeah.
I go to A.crisoconner.com.
I got dates coming up.
I got Raleigh this weekend, Detroit next weekend,
South Carolina, June, I think, and then Baltimore.
Nice.
Yeah.
So check out.
You can also see Nick
on our last week's Patreon
which I thought was a really great episode.
We had a wild episode.
That was so fond of it.
You're going to like that one.
We had a dig out of that one.
I wanted to dig out of Tommy's hell of that one.
I was on one boy.
I was on one.
You were on seven.
He told me when I showed up.
Yeah, this is number five.
Patreon.com slash stuff I wanted to see last week's episode.
Nick and thanks for your support everybody head over to Patreon
hey oh yeah hey James McCann I called you all right
I know he called me out last time he was on here said I didn't call him
yeah yeah yeah it's why it's a friendly kind of thing but also you got to listen to all the
episodes but also it's funny it is funny to respond on the air I don't even remember
he said it to both of you yeah I don't fucking remember that all right sorry love you James
I'll call you
