Stuff Island - Brian Six - Chris' Collection - Stuff Island #162
Episode Date: December 5, 2024Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor are reunited after being on the set of Netflix's Tires. On this episode Tommy Talks about crashing his scooter on his way to the Comedy Mothership. Comedians Chris O'Co...nnor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Head to htttpes://www.squarespace.com/stuffisland to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND Try Bluechew for FREE! with Promo Code: STUFFISLAND. Just pay $5 for shipping. Bluechew.com Give the gift of comfortability and get 20% off your order with promo code STUFFISLAND at Publicrec.com Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code STUFFISLAND at shopmand.com! #mandopod Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I
Love them
Now I do is get in shape
And I'll be super hot and unstoppable
Starts with the teeth
So I focus on my hair first
Dicks gonna start growing anytime any day
Yeah
Do my haircut because when they do the because I do Clippers and that's in the back, they hook up the fade so good.
Like, dude, it's wild.
I do not look good with a fade.
I got a haircut once by a black barber in Philly,
and it had just opened, and I went in there with hair twice as long as this,
and it was chaos.
Middle summer, they had no air conditioning.
Well, dude, it's like Edward Scissorhands.
It really was.
They don't know what the fuck you do in a wig like that, dude.
They should have like a maximum length.
Maximum white length.
Black barbers, they should just have a flobie.
Like any time a white dude walks in, they're like, sit in a flobie chair.
I'm not trying to work with this hair.
I went to a black barber shop in Yadin once, and they had a payphone inside.
That's sick.
Yeah.
Of course I got a black haircut.
Obviously. They didn't even bother
asking me what I fucking wanted to.
No, they never ask.
There was a place down in Wildwood that had the ashtrays in
the fucking handles on the barbatures.
I would sit in and he would just go. I'd be like,
okay. It would turn out, I mean,
I wouldn't say it would turn out bad.
I said hi to him.
That's what it is.
How many compliments did you get?
On when?
This one?
Yeah, Black Lady Barber.
The one haircut I got in Philly, I think it's at the beginning of South Street.
I don't know if the place is still there or not.
It was so good that to this day, Kyla constantly, anytime we're in Philly, she's like, you should get your haircut at that place.
And I'm like,
it wasn't that good.
She's like,
it was.
And I was like,
all right.
But yeah,
that was by Barbara.
What was your choice of,
let me see your hair again.
Yeah,
it's a standard.
Yeah,
I'm standard.
It's pretty standard white guy,
but they're fucking nice back here.
They did it nice back there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It feels nice.
When did you start finally cut grass?
Probably like five years ago. Yeah. How. It feels nice. When did you finally cut grass? Probably like five years ago.
Yeah.
How long have I been dating Kyle?
Fucking.
That's such a dad joke.
I get it, dude.
When I marry your mom.
Let it ride, dude. You got good hair for it, though.
You barely notice.
Yeah, because I've always had lighter hair.
It's because his whole fucking body is the same dough.
Yeah, I'm just white.
So like a little bit. He's because his whole fucking body is the same dough. Yeah, I'm just white. So, like, a little bit.
He's a desert serpent, dude.
You're a rattlesnake in the sand, Drew.
Just popping off.
And one of those that buries itself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll see you later, dude.
Just the eyes, just glasses.
Yeah, but I started going gray, like, I don't know, four or five years ago.
Something like that. But they'd hit, like, harsh. I, like, I don't know, four or five years ago. Something like that.
But they'd hit, like, harsh.
I was like, whoa.
Yeah.
Because I remember, I think McCusker was the first friend of mine that went, like, fucking.
I was friends with him through the transition of knowing him with, like, regular color hair to, like, okay, your father time now.
No, when a buddy has cancer, it's cancer, I followed him all through that process.
It is tough, dude.
It's a tough hit.
It is, dude.
You see your first one.
You never forget your first hair.
It's just like your first puke.
Yeah.
As a kid, you remember that first curly black
coming in near your nuts?
You're like, I'm a man.
Yeah, dude.
You see that first gray.
You're like, I'm dying.
I'm walking.
This is it, dude.
It's the worst getting an haircut.
It's only until, at least in my experience,
it was like three or four when you start going,
all right, yeah.
The first one you rip out and you go,
that was a fluke somewhere.
Something went wrong.
I sneezed wrong.
Yeah, that was a mistake.
That's probably like a stress thing or something.
No, that's not a long-term.
That's not going to be forever.
My nutsack's a snow globe.
Dude, I went down with a girl
that was only like 30,
maybe 35,
and she had a gray bush.
I was like, whoa, really?
I've never seen a gray bush.
It was wild, dude.
That'd be fun to do. A gray bush? No, dude, it was like... I've never seen a gray bush. It was wild, dude. That'd be fun to do.
Go down on one?
No, no, no.
Man, what's that like?
You can grow a hair, dude.
Yeah.
Make it a Patreon.
No, if you're just like a young kid,
if you're just like just for men,
like the salt and pepper look in your pubes.
Oh, yeah.
Just to see how someone would react.
Yeah, that is a good move.
Yeah.
Someone would be like, what the fuck?
See how fast they jump out a window.
Yeah, take a chance.
I'm still pretty...
I don't have any grays down there, though.
I have no pubes that are gray.
Really?
It's all hair.
Just all cigarette ashes?
Yeah.
What the hell is that?
Dude, if I smoked cigarettes, I cigarettes i would yeah i'd make this i i have nothing to say here really but what do you mean do you like do you go outside to smoke cigarettes still
yeah oh yeah i can't smoke inside i hate smoking inside really never been a fan but
ever you judge other smokers yes yeah i i mean. I mean... Unless it's late night at a bar.
Oh, yeah, then it's three packs, done.
But I never liked the idea of smoking a cigarette in bed.
Ew, no.
That's fucked up.
In a bedroom alone, I don't like that.
I don't like the smell of cigarettes lingering.
It doesn't matter how bad the weather is outside,
going outside and smoking a cigarette is nice.
I think that's the leading cause of death
in models. It's just slipping on your
falling asleep in a bed.
It's a cigarette.
Dude, I swear to God.
The leading cause of death is falling asleep
in bed. A lot of turnover in that industry.
A lot of turnover in that industry.
They don't have...
No, they got no nutrients. They're doing
coke all night, Getting plowed by fucking
You know
Yeah
Business owners
Yeah
And they get weepy beepy
And they just
They hit a butt
Fall asleep
Right
Oh like light on fire
Yeah
It's like
Dang
Yeah it's a fucking
Tinder box
Yeah
Be such a funny
Just time article
Models
Another model
Dead from lit cigarette An epidemic I watched a live fire It'd be such a funny time article. Models. Another model.
Dead from lit cigarette.
An epidemic.
I watched a live fire when I was in New York last.
Really? It was at the top of a penthouse.
What?
A fire in New York.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it was good to be back.
I went back for my birthday.
As soon as immediately, there was a whole group of animals around.
I was like, I bet you that's a model.
Yeah.
I bet you a model.
Yeah, before Burning Man, that's how you had to do it.
You throw a dead model into it.
A pile of wood.
A sleepy model.
Light a cigarette.
That's how they invite the bands
to Burning Man.
A dead model on a porch.
Get that gangly hooker in there.
Give her a cigarette.
Yeah, it's how the triangle shirt weighs.
Started the labor movement.
A model of her time.
Have you ever been to Burning Man?
No.
Yes.
I would never go
unless...
I'd like fly over it.
Drop a shit? Fly over it. Drop a shit.
Fly over it.
I would.
I would like survey it.
I'd survey it.
A helicopter ride over that would be kind of sick.
Yeah, look at the scale.
Yeah, but being there would be...
Oh my God.
Hellish.
Like the last place that you want to be
is a place where everyone's trying to reinvent themselves.
Yeah.
And they think this, I don't even know how long it is.
Like church.
Yeah.
Well, at least church, it's hopeless.
You know what I mean?
That I like being around.
Yeah, at least there's acid at Burning Man.
I enjoy being around.
But everyone at Burning Man being like, trying to again, just shed some old skin
and become someone new.
Is that what happens at Burning Man?
Yes.
Oh, I didn't know.
That's the messaging?
100%. New life, new beginning.
Yes, it's like a world...
Is that why they dress like that?
Like a cicada?
Yeah.
Weird fishnet layers.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
It's to like leave your old identity behind, basically.
Like vacation in another identity.
It's just doing drugs in the desert.
Of course it is.
Why are they trying to mask it with this gay shit?
Because you can't just say we're all going to go do drugs in the desert.
Why not?
That rules.
You have to have some deep journey behind it.
Fuck that.
It's got to be
some spiritual experience.
Meanwhile,
they just get fingered.
Yeah, exactly.
A hundred, yeah.
Yeah.
It's just high school,
but you drove yourself there.
That's exactly what it is.
That's exactly what it is.
That's exactly what it is.
You drove yourself there.
Dad didn't have to drop me off
to get fingered.
Yeah.
In the sand. It is. You get a little lunch card. I would go to that, have to drop me off to get fingered. In the sand.
You get a little lunch card.
I would go to that, though.
I would go just to see it.
French bread pizza.
And Coachella.
I've never been to Coachella.
All three of us in these outfits were just cruising down the beach.
Yeah.
Tip like no stride, dude.
I don't even know what that means.
Three feds just cruising through the beach.
Yeah, Coachella's another one.
I've never been to that.
I'd like to go.
I got no desire. I don't really want been to that I'd like to go I got no
I don't really want to go I just want to
go to go just to be like I have my
whatever yeah again I would
go for a day yeah I would go
in a way that I could like land
I could land in some type of helicopter just
so I could get evacuated quickly
I can't
walk out of a festival is
like the worst.
It's like a sports tailgate.
Doing mushrooms in general, but doing a sports tailgate,
you have to have your crew.
You have to be comfortable with those guys.
And whatever happens outside of your zone, it's fun to watch.
Yes.
So we would have to have a whole encampment of our boys.
Yeah.
Our normal dudes with a tent
and then just watch
some lure pussy,
some try and get drugs,
some stare at the stars.
But that's not fun to watch.
Oh, dude, I think we'd have a blast
for a good hour and a half, two hours.
Get a load on, leave before the fucking game's over.
Beat the traffic. But see see that's what's good that's what's good about going to a football game is
watching your buddy try to get pussy at a football game is so much better than watching him try to do
it at coachella your dude in a hat and a jersey like having to like like tying one on way too early, having to survive the game,
then go to the bar afterwards and like continue.
It's,
it's like a really,
it's like a heroic endeavor to like,
to close that deal.
Yeah.
And your dick work.
Yeah.
Like all of it.
There's,
there's the amount of escape routes.
Do you remember the,
the,
the club shampoo?
Yeah.
What? That is. What? and your dick work yeah that is
the last is the last judgment but have you left enough to spare? 6 a.m. tailgate. Your final boss is just your packer.
I went to shampoo
and then this girl,
I think I probably said this at some point, but
my brother and his wife took me
to shampoo and we're just like
raving or whatever. I guess they were
probably doing drugs. I don't remember.
Obviously. Yeah, I think I was like
20, 19.
Was this the under 21?
I had a fake ID at Drexel called yeah i think i was like it's shampoo 20 yeah 19 i fake was this the under 21 i don't know
i had a fake id and at drexel called uh his name was anthony philip nympho the third philip nympho
anthony philip nympho the third yeah my that's a sick name tony gave it to me when he turned 21
it's just another wop he's like threat level red You have nympho in your name? Any Italian with the word nympho
How'd you get that name?
Were you a blacksmith?
Yeah
And it's like the whole time
But it's kind of genius
If you think about it
Because it does give the guy
A minute to make a joke
And they go like
You wouldn't possibly
Yeah
Right
Fake this name
You're not that fucking dumb
Yeah
And I kind of
Anyway I got in this club
I met this girl
And she's all fucked up on something.
And then we started like hooking up.
And I drive with her to Jersey for an after party.
And I was like, I walked up to my brother, Steve.
He's like, do it.
He's like, fucking do it.
You're off the map.
Yeah.
See ya.
And went to this fucking house party.
Everybody is fucked up.
I mean, fucked up like, your anxiety's up.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I'm like, I wasn't doing drugs then.
Right.
Somebody's going to find out about this,
and it's going to need to be addressed by the authorities.
100%.
And I'm in the middle of like central Jersey.
Like, we drove like an hour and a half.
It was fucking nuts.
Anyway, she's going room to room looking for a buddy there was a dude crying holding his knees next to the washer dryer
room he was in the k-hole ah hilarious i don't even know what that was but like there's three
people like yelling like he's in a k-hole And meanwhile, I'm just like, I want to suck this girl's boobs.
Like that's all.
I came to Jersey to get some meat.
I want chest meat.
Just give me meat and let me get the fuck out of here.
And we waited till the sun came up, finally get back to her apartment.
And she's just like in a hoodie.
She's coming down from whatever the fuck she was.
And I'm like, still, are we going we gonna right we're gonna hook up and then we just like awkwardly hooked up with the sun up in like her fucking her bedroom with like terrible sheets
oh this story sucks but you missed the window you missed the window that's the point yeah but
she missed the window right we knew when to leave it would have been a great fucking time
her drugs and her system says let's just continue this party.
Went too far around a fucking bunch of maniacs doing ketamine.
And then I'm just like, well, I still got to beat off.
Yeah, you got to get something.
So when do we leave it?
That is the worst feeling in the world.
What a wild story.
I know, dude.
No, no, but that's nightmare scenario is that thing where it's like early on enough in the night you've kind of agreed that you're going to hook up.
And then they just keep going to the next thing.
And you're like, we did it.
Yeah, we confirmed.
Let's just, yeah.
You think you're mentally and emotionally prepared to just lay pipe, hang out, or do whatever.
Right.
And then she's like,
I got to go to this other party.
If it's a normal party,
fine.
If it's a fucking Lollapalooza with everyone fucking toot and heroin.
Right.
You start to hate her.
You start to hate everyone there.
And then I'm like,
well,
I can't leave.
I can't just walk outside.
Also the K-hole thing.
I feel like Philadelphia was like in,
like it is huge in Philly. Huge. My brother used to sell that shit. Way before,. I feel like Philadelphia was like into, like it is on.
Ketamine was huge in Philly.
Huge.
My brother used to sell that shit.
Way before, like, again, like ketamine was around when I was in college.
And then.
Ketamine's gay, dude.
I haven't heard of it.
Like, it was, again, it was like the late aughts.
And then it went away.
And then it became therapy.
That's huge.
And now it's therapy.
See, that's what they're doing with drugs.
Because now nitrous is actually popular with kids.
And I'm like, where have you been?
What are you fucking kidding me?
This one guy at the gas station
right up the street from here,
he fucking told me the one day I went in there.
He was like, okay, $13.95.
So I was paying for it.
And he goes, excuse me, sir, you know what this is?
And I was like, yeah, it's a fucking, it's a Whip It.
He goes, Whip It?
I go, yeah.
He's like, what do I do with it?
I was like, why are you asking?
Why do you have it?
You have a cracker?
You whip it good.
That's what I said.
I go, you need a cracker and a balloon.
And he looked at me.
He looked at me.
I was like, no, not crack.
Okay.
So you need a metal thing.
I don't want to ruin the end.
Just give me the cigarettes.
Why are you just holding a canister,
a whippet canister, asking customers
who are coming in here, like, what is this?
I'm like, I don't know, dude.
That's the saddest.
I hate ketamine. I've never liked it.
Whippet drug addiction is the saddest to watch.
Come on. You get addicted to whippets.
You're an asshole.
Dude, you are a fucking asshole.
This bitch on Twitter wrecked a really nice car doing whippets. You're an asshole. Dude. You are a fucking asshole. This bitch on Twitter wrecked like a really nice car.
Doing whippets?
Oh, dude, this is so crazy.
I was just driving with a balloon.
I almost threw...
It's not a fucking Pink Floyd concert, dude.
It's also the first time I did a whippet
was a Pink Floyd concert.
1994.
Balloons, baby
They'd sell you
They'd sell you three for ten or whatever
Yeah, yeah
Because you'd pop two of them
Before you could, yeah
The cop opens the door
And she's like
The car's smashed
And she's like down like this
And she looks up at the cop
And the cop's like
Come on, get out
Put that down
Get out of the car
And she's like
Yeah, she's like Hold on, I got's like... She hits it like two more times.
Yeah.
The addiction. Dude, the car is fucking
totaled against another parked
car. So she was just driving with like a concert balloon?
She was driving, hitting fucking whip. It's getting high as fuck.
Smashes the car. A cop
comes up. You see it on his cam. And she's
like, she won't get out of the car
until she finishes that fucking can.
Oh, his can? That is literally
the dumbest
thing I've ever heard. Yes.
You can excuse drinking
and driving. Yeah, that's common. That's an honest mistake.
That's American, dude.
That's an American arrest. That's an honest mistake.
Doing a whip, it's like literally
putting drunk glasses on those
things that you put things and trying to drive
you know your gun the whole point of the drug is to make it so you spin yeah ma'am you went back
to office depot for another can her seats like on her forehead that's wild imagine going to jail
like what are you in for? I can't believe it.
There was a two-for-one sale on computer dusters.
Caught a bad beat.
They love dusters.
That's one of my favorite
interventions.
Oh, God.
Intervention rules. I started watching that again.
A couple weeks ago, I just noticed it on
the random
Samsung channel guide that you get free.
Yeah.
And it plays it for 24 hours.
Oh my God.
Cancel the plans.
It's seriously.
I don't care what the fuck I do.
If I find intervention on Samsung TV, see ya, dude.
What's the feeling?
I'm missing your wedding, the birth of my child.
Dude, how good is the feeling when you get guide and you look at the time frame.
It's just like intervention for the next two days.
And Pawn Stars is right beneath it.
Oh, yeah, dude.
I ain't going nowhere, dude.
Intervention.
It is very much a crossover universe.
People who do this like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Intervention.
Dude, the best thing.
That's a guy from Intervention.
Did you watch Intervention at all?
Like, did you watch?
I've seen it before.
Dude, I think. It spooks me, too. My you watch Intervention at all? Like, did you watch? I've seen it before. Dude, I think.
It spooks me too much.
My favorite one, I think they pulled off of.
I think you can find it on YouTube, but it's like, dude, it's this crackhead kid.
He would just go out and drink all day, and it was him, his brother, and his dad living at home.
Is this the one he fought?
Dude, when he yells at his dad about the crack pipe.
Yes, yes.
The big fucking fat dude?
It's the funniest fucking thing in the world.
The guy's like,
Dad, I know you took my fucking crack pipe,
you piece of shit.
He's like,
No, I didn't.
Why would I take your crack pipe?
He's like,
Don't even fucking talk back to me.
Then just punches a hole in the wall
and then breaks his brother's arm.
Dude, this dude is Shrek.
Literally, he's Shrek.
He's wild.
He's an Irish Shrek in the middle of nowhere
on a back deck
trying to fight his dad over a crack pipe.
And everybody's scared to talk to him.
Nobody wants to help him.
That's why they call it intervention.
Like, we can't control this animal.
He got off his leash a long time ago.
Hit him with a blow dart.
Get this fucking dog down.
Dude, you need to get a stool sample.
You know how Shane does that?
Shane does that like joke shit where he's like,
I'll fucking kill you.
This dude did that.
He would just, he would confront you like a rabid dog.
You know things are out of control
when someone can openly be mad.
What did you do with my crack pipe?
Dude, he was really lost his mind.
And still get respect on, I didn't touch it.
Do you know what scared me about that episode, though?
I'll help you look for it.
I'll help you look for it. I'll help you look for it.
Where did you leave it last?
I'll help you look for it.
Anything to get off his deck.
It's one of my top five.
Dude, that episode, the one thing about it was the scariest,
was watching how they say what they do during the day,
which is usually nothing.
Dude, he's at this sports bar by himself.
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That terrified me because I was like, I have been that guy.
Of course.
Many a time where it's like a Tuesday.
Why isn't everybody else taking shots?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're at least fucking pussies.
You got that crack pipe?
You got that crack pipe?
You got yourself.
That's what's so scary is they're doing everything that you've almost done at one point.
I'm like a tweak away from this dude.
One million percent.
It's wild.
They're a couple notches bigger, and you're like, yikes.
Well, think about how much booze you have to do to level out with too much Coke, right?
Yeah.
And then crack is another level.
Yeah, you throw the crack in the mix, come on now.
I mean, I've crushed a bottle of booze with an eight ball.
Easy.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The amount, but this fucking, this water.
One hand washes the other on that one
yeah
actually I only have
one hand
I'm usually
eating off
for seven hours
because you're
hanging upside down
doing sit ups
my dick is
my dick is shedding
like a Coachella
costume
dude
yeah it's wild
somebody found it a couple years ago and sent it to me but I think you have to find it on like YouTube but I don't think it's wild. Somebody found it a couple years ago
and sent it to me, but I think you have to find it on YouTube.
I don't think it's on demand
or regular season. They took it off because he was too
intense. My favorite one is
the computer duster girl.
She would buy
computer duster from the
Home Depot, Office Max, whatever.
She'd buy a six pack. The way they
do it with ibuprofen now, right?
Ibuprofen?
Propan?
Ibuprofen now?
Ibuprofen?
You get flagged?
I think you can't buy more than one canister of computer canister.
They do that with, what is it, like Sudafed or something?
Because of the meth.
That's what I meant, Sudafed.
Just someone being like, I got a million key.
Oh, you're talking about Sudafed.
I'm running a whole fucking lot.
Yeah.
I need all these books of matches
to shut up
so she just
she would buy six packs
do it in the car
do it at home
and just all day all night
she was a dainty tiny little girl
and she fucked up
like
so somebody would open the door
and be like
Kara
is this a girl that's like naked all day
yeah
no no that's number one dude she's number one I knew. Is this a girl that's like naked all day? Yeah. No, that's number one.
Dude, she's number one?
I knew it.
That's crystal meth.
That's crystal meth.
Yeah, that's meth.
Also, hot as hell.
Not bad.
Dude, not bad.
The chick is so hot.
A couple times I watched,
I'm like,
this girl would fucking hit this
and someone would walk in
and she'd be like,
shut the door.
Dude,
that's not bad.
Dude, in arguments.
She'd be arguing with a family member and they're like, get out of the bed. You can't be doing this. She'd be arguing with a family member
Get out of the bed, you can't be doing
She'd be like
No, you can't, I'll close the door
She's the one that's like
Writing a screenplay on toilet paper
No, that's the one
The meth head
That's my number one, dude
I'm sorry, Chris
No, no, I love it
There's this hot stripper
in the middle of fucking nowhere
she's hot for like let's say
fucking Florida
no it is Florida
some dog shit town in Florida
and got a good body
she lives in the pool house of her father
who's a very soft mild mannered man
very polite
I wish she wouldn't be doing that
and he's like very put, mild-mannered man. Very polite. No, I wish she wouldn't be doing that.
Right?
Yeah.
And he's like very put together.
And she is a fucking... They should build like mech suits for dads like that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Dude.
She's such a bitch.
The kid's out of control.
You need to hit them.
Step into this thing.
It was the quintessential recipe for divorce early,
damaged child, spoiled on one or both ends.
Yep.
Nobody could tell her no.
She had fucking spiraled the fuck out and she wasn't getting money.
And she clearly was doing meth or some shit.
And she'd be in her back pool house.
When I say it was a garbage dump.
Yeah.
With a mattress, nothing on it and she'd
be dancing like Britney Spears and doing like these these like one-off yeah it's
pretty hot right she's gonna have to get back to work someday off season for a running back.
He can't get lazy.
Don't get lazy on me. You gotta keep the muscles loose.
Yeah, come on, dude.
And she's like pirouetting
on this fucking,
this shit stain.
It's in front of him.
Dude, there's like piss
and urine and fucking
Oh, the house is disgusting.
Bottles and bottles
of empty plastic pop-offs.
So this bitch would like,
when the father would
refuse to give her money
so she could level out.
She would just go to the,
she'd walk down,
she'd fucking dance.
It's kind of like fucking Coachella.
She looked like a Coachella
on Sunday.
That's actually a good comparison.
Sunday morning Coachella
is what this bitch's personality is.
She's looking to barter.
Barter for anything.
And she would literally barter
to these old men. She'd be she'd be like would you get me a
bottle yeah this and they'd be like what are these cameras doing here yeah
dude i'm not kidding that's exactly what happens she walks around the side to ask them
the kiss of the camera so it doesn't impede upon her progress oh yeah and then she'll just like
rub his shoulder or something yeah they tell the camera guys like,
yeah, you can't come with me on this one.
Yeah.
Not safe.
You're about to see some shit.
Dude, there's also like...
You're solo on this one.
There's a scene where like
you could see the guy stops
where she walks away.
It's like Sean Connery in The Rock.
She rolls back out the front door.
She's pulling... Tossed her cans out the front door. She's pulling
duster cans out like Nick Cage.
Welcome to my car.
Dude, but you could tell where
the guy was clearly
promised something. So they would like disappear
from eyesight for a bit.
And then he would come out with this plastic bag
full of a fifth of pop-up or some shit,
hand it off, and she'd be like,
thank you!
Dance off, and he's like, the hell?
Just fucking got tricked.
What the hell?
Again, Walter?
Not again.
I got again!
I did got again! I think I got again.
I don't know.
No, the ones that Tommy always showed me were the ones with the vicious turn in the middle.
What?
Where it would always be, it would be a daughter or son who's out of control.
And the whole front end would be the parent being like, they're out of control, trying everything.
I don't know how to, I don't know what to do.
Most parents are pussies on this show.
Yeah.
And then halfway.
Most of these problems could have got solved very easily in their teenage years.
It's always their fault.
They're just like, I don't know what to do.
Like, hit him in the fucking head.
What are you talking about?
It's got to be a little bit before he does. Because that's what he was saying.
For the first,
I don't know,
what are they,
22 minutes?
How long are these things?
An hour?
Hour, yeah.
The first half hour,
you'd be like,
just smack some senses.
What the fuck are you doing?
And then the turn would come
and the parent would be like
in their shitty garbage bed
with them like
doing the same shit.
Yeah.
Oh, that's top five.
Well, it's just like the girl and the mom. Yeah Oh, that's top five. It's just like...
The girl and the mom?
Yeah.
When she's burning pills on foil.
She's smoking opiates.
Yeah, she's freebasing.
They didn't set it up.
The biggest reveal of all time
in intervention history.
This mom was trying to curtail her fucking behaviors.
Yeah.
Smash cut to like 20 minutes yeah
the fat mom's laying next to her also free basically oh jesus yeah it's full inception
dude they go another dream deeper god what a show and the dad the dad is like they're both crazy
yeah the dad moves out in that couple yeah i can't do it yeah That's the holiday end. Just sad.
Yeah.
Super sad.
Yeah, I think at one point,
I think they're driving them to the intervention.
They both ditch.
Hit a pole.
They jump out of the black like an intervention SUV.
Intervention SUV.
And they run wild, not in Vegas, but just around Vegas,
like in the desert outside of Vegas.
They're just like sprint. In the desert outside of Vegas.
They're just sprinting along the road.
Intervention's got to drive next to them.
Just get back in the car. You keep calling it intervention.
Well, it is.
Intervention would be always out there.
It's not people in their lives.
It's literally the producers.
Yeah, yeah.
Guys, we're going to see tomorrow.
Yeah, it's the sound guys.
Get back in the car.
It's like the gaffer kids.
Come on, get my kid out tomorrow. Jesus. Bitch's the sound guys. Get back in the car. It's like the gaffer kids. Come on, get my kid out tomorrow.
Jesus.
Bitches in the bushes.
Bitches in the bushes.
I think the best thing about that show is, though, when they finally get them to go to rehab, it ends.
And you know what I'm going to say.
Two days later, check this out.
I'm like, yes.
Fuck that, dude.
Relapse.
Yes.
Dude,
when I hear that tune,
I literally,
that beginning whistle,
it's somewhere.
It's like,
this is going to be
an hour of greatness.
Is this still starting?
It might be coming
back from commercial.
Because they do
come from commercial.
All tunes just started.
Yeah,
just started.
I just did it all.
The first 10, I don't want to start halfway through.
You've got to come in fresh.
First 10 minutes, an amusement park.
Water park.
It's the greatest fucking visual you could ever imagine.
It's all the bad shit showing wild things.
Visually, it's so stunning.
Stunning.
Then there's 20 minutes of a funeral home.
It's all the family members writing letters.
They're crying on their crotch into their cigarette ash.
And it's just like boring.
And then you want to get to the rehab part where they're shaking on an airplane.
And they get out like sick dogs.
And then you want to see the reveal in the last 10 minutes.
Did they make it?
Some guys are like, I hope they make it.
I really like this guy.
There's got to be.
Oh, I do.
I feel.
I'm like, come on. I'm pushing for him.
All the shit I talk, I do push for him.
I'm like, come on, buddy.
You got it.
Me too.
Of course.
You're rooting for yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
You're just looking at yourself going like, come on.
You can get up off the floor.
All right.
Let's go to our top fives, dude.
Yeah. Hand sanitizer drinker. Yeah. Dude, was that a lady can get up off the floor. All right, let's go to our top fives, dude. Yeah.
Hand sanitizer drinker.
Yeah, dude, was that a lady who pissed out on the front lawn?
That's number three for me.
That's Listerine.
Yeah, Listerine.
Listerine ruled.
The fucking old lady, old rich white woman
who drinks Listerine.
She drinks golden, and it's gold Listerine,
not even like minty.
Yeah, she has pop-pop flavor, dude.
It's like Gatorade ice.
Gatorade ice.
As long as it was 30% off.
No one's buying Gold Listerine.
It's disgusting.
You ever had it?
She'd run out of fucking...
She'd run out of...
Minor Goldschlager?
People don't realize.
I had a family member go to rehab,
and my mother fucking cleared all of
alcohol products
hairspray I'm like dude
he's going to find
a beer around the corner you moron
he's not going to stick Aquanet in his fucking face
and then I watch
the show I'm like oh my god
dudes are drinking hand sanitizer and smoking Listerine
let's go
it's got to be terrifying to find out how much smokable Yeah, they will. Drinking hand sanitizer and smoking Listerine? Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. It is.
It's got to be terrifying to find out how much smokable, drinkable stuff is actually
in your house.
I bet your neighbors know.
This is a big Listerine neighborhood, I bet you.
These bitches have nothing to do all day, dude.
She's like, I bet I can smoke that.
Yeah.
I could probably do that.
I bet that's where the tin toker was invented, dude.
The suburbs with rich white women.
She's like, I don't have a phone.
I got to make something.
She would just sleep on the lawn.
She would sleep on the lawn.
She was unable to make it home.
Or she would leave the house.
Just hang it out.
Let her go, man.
She's just chilling.
Dude, the front lawn part is so fun. out let her go man she's just chilling like her family members that come over it's like virginia or something yeah so southern so stereotypical rich whites rich whites yeah violently white the kind of white you avoid
even if they're nice kind of thing pearl earrings pearl necklace She's wearing clothes that her second or seventh
ex-husband.
And they're drinking on like a
porch that looks like an old fucking
plantation.
You know what I mean?
Where bad things probably happened here.
And then she gets too fucked up.
And her family members are like,
we have to go to lunch.
Maybe not have another wine.
And she's drinking a wine that's like,
I'm only having one.
And it's a fucking gel.
It's a bottle.
Yeah, it's just a bottle.
It's a camelback.
She's like, well, I'll just finish it real quick.
She's putting shit in her purse.
They kick her out of lunch.
They're like, she's too much.
She comes home from lunch.
When she goes to lunch, all of her other family members, or I don't know, maybe the production
team were like, hide everything.
Yeah.
So she goes on a fucking scavenger hunt looking for a bottle of anything to consume.
And then she found Listerine.
Yeah.
Which is like, I think it's like 30% alcohol.
Yeah.
It's like close to whiskey.
Yeah.
And your breath smells delish.
Yeah. And your breath smells delish. Yeah. And she would crush it, fall into the bushes, sleep on the zoysia.
Just in her gear.
During the day.
And her family's so innocent.
Every night, they're just like, she must have been trying to brush her teeth and come to lunch.
I bet it wasn't her fault.
She thought it was her breath.
Yeah.
I couldn't find a toothbrush.
But they save them.
I noticed that, too, with intervention.
Somebody like Listerine, it's like, why not throw these out?
Like you go in these rooms, there's 75 fucking hundred bottles of empty golden Listerine.
I'm like, what are these, trophies or something?
It's like college where kids would keep the bottles.
It's wild to me that addicts do that.
I think they're so fucked up they're afraid to show their family members that they consumed something. So they put it in the trash like...
Why are there
three empty bottles of Listerine in the trash can?
My one buddy who was an addict said that
he used to keep all his empty 20s,
like Coke baggies. I'm like, why do you say these?
It's scary, dude.
Because, dude, honestly, in the heart of addiction,
I remember thinking, I can't throw this out
because it's almost like giving it up.
So it's like, I have to keep it for my own. It's like, oh,
you were fucked. He goes, oh, yeah.
He was hoarding it. And then like, dude,
every couple of months he
would take like, dude, no joke.
There was thousands of these little 20s in this one
jacket he had. He would take like 40 of them
out and just and get one
to get one. And I'm
like, bro, you got to fucking get on Listerine or
something, dude. This fucking coke shit's killing me.
I usually just open them up and put them on my gums.
Yeah, just eat it.
Eat the whole bag.
I don't know what I'm doing. I put it under my tongue.
Can you do any...
What if you just
got someone a passport,
flew them somewhere, and then took their passport
and flew home?
Where did this come from? What are we talking about? Did they figure it out? Just strand them somewhere, then took their passport and flew home. Where did this come from?
What are we talking about?
Just strand them somewhere, I'm saying.
What?
You can.
Yeah, I'm sure you could do that.
The point is they love them and they don't want to.
They can't even kick them out of the basement.
They're going to drive them to Dubai.
Take them on a big drinking trip.
One last hurrah?
Yeah.
Most of them do do that though. When they? Yeah, to like... And they're like, hey, man, we couldn't find you.
Western Australia.
Most of them do do that, though.
When they agree to go to rehab, they'll be like, but I do need a couple hours.
I'm like, obviously.
Which they do give them shit about.
I'm like, fuck that.
Let them go out in Taiwan on for the plane ride.
You know what's wrong now?
Both the Listerine girl...
They haven't got no parole.
Both the Listerine girl and the Whippet girl are now counselors on the internet.
They all become counselors.
Not all of them.
A lot of them do.
But some of the severe cases.
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Dude, yeah.
I had a love rubbing that shit in their face.
Is there footage?
Do they do like a whole...
For every episode, they could do a whole other episode that's just talking to the crew.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's a great idea.
They should just have all of the people that were working...
They got to sign NDAs and all that shit.
Yeah. I'm sure that crew has
seen things that would
get them in prison. Not
the crew, but the other person.
There was one episode
I saw. The guy just did meth and jerked off to porn
for like seven hours straight. Seriously? Yeah.
It was just like a
decent looking guy.
They filmed it.
So this dude was so addicted
he was so addicted
to meth
of beating off
I get it
that he would sit
in front of his computer
put a blanket
oh come on
over him
a drink over him
and just
fucking beat off
and then there would
just be like a camera guy
in the back
like he didn't care
yeah
he would just cover
I think he was like
an old porn star
or something like that
yeah
the meth guy yeah wait I think he was an old porn star. The meth guy?
Wait, I think I...
Jerked off with this?
I think I came to that guy.
Is this him?
I feel like that might have been one of the ones that I saw.
Yeah.
I don't remember. Special man.
Intervention, dude. Best show in the world.
Yeah, it's pretty good. I actually stopped watching
because I was watching so much of it. It was a couple weeks ago out here. It was on that channel. I had Best show in the world. Yeah, it's pretty good. I actually stopped watching because I was watching so much of it.
And then it was a couple weeks ago out here.
It was on that channel.
And I was like, I had it on in the background.
And I was like, oh, wait, this one rules.
It's like, takes one line to me,
and I'm in all the way in again.
100%.
And I'm like, oh, dude, this is hilarious.
It's also like Goodfellas.
Like, even if you've seen the episode,
you're like, these are all hits.
Yeah, it's still good.
Fire it up.
I'm going to watch start to finish.
Until they walk in the rehab just like oh
shit yeah there's nothing we could do jimmy a couple of them look like they were hanging in
the back of a meat truck too dude it's fucking carbone i don't know i can't i can't there's
something about watching this show that makes me feel like i'm getting closer to needing an
intervention it makes me feel like good god i'm not needing an intervention. It makes me feel like, good God, I'm not that bad.
Them saying.
No, that show I watched to be like, all right, I'm not that bad.
Yeah.
That's why Mario Pogba was successful.
Like, white trash areas.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not fucking my brother.
I'm not this guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
You used to get uncomfortable.
You would literally, like, scream to turn it off.
Oh, yeah.
If I got to the remote before you, you know where I go.
And you're like, no, you know where I go.
No, we're not doing this. Because you put on interventions.
You go, I can't get...
Or death videos.
You go, I can't watch an hour and a half
of one thing and then it would be a five hour
marathon.
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Now back to the episode.
What are you watching?
I'm like, Tommy's like, it's just called Bombs.
I don't know.
It's kind of a compilation.
It's called Iraq.
Season 7.
Don't go in there.
Most of the shot is Syria. there most likely will be blood yeah
what else
I don't know I keep staring at this project
and I gotta be honest with you Chris
this is intervention for me
how many pieces you
that's overwhelming
is your cameras picking this up by the way or no
yeah yeah there's some of this in the show.
You labeled all these bags.
Dude, you had to.
I'm telling you, it was crisis.
I thought when I opened it.
Dude, this is the first time I see him outside of set.
I didn't know what he was working on.
This is, we need an intervention.
Will I go with intervention?
This isn't even the podcast.
We're like, Chris, will you accept our help?
You're turning into a fucking dork.
I didn't want to do it.
Get out of my room.
I'm creating order out of chaos here.
Chris is going to come and be like,
you got my green baggies, motherfucker?
I know you fucking hit them.
Where are the waterfalls?
I know you hit the waterfalls.
I was in two starships.
Mom scared the ass. I got this thing. I was like're horrible. It was the two starships. Mom screwed ass.
I got this thing.
I was like, whatever.
It'll be enjoyable to put this together.
It comes in.
There's no organization.
Look at that.
Can you show the box?
I want them to see the box.
I mean, the book alone.
The book is.
That's absurd.
It's the Bible.
It is.
You have a Bible-sized instruction.
He's on page 311.
This is the house.
Why are you an architect all of a sudden?
I just wanted to build it, man.
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Yeah, it's the ruins.
It's Detroit, Epstein Island.
It is pretty detailed, too. That's what's going to kill you. Dude, it's going to be awesome. This is crazy. They didn't put the ruins. It's Detroit, Epstein Island. It is pretty detailed, too.
That's what's going to kill you.
Dude, it's going to be awesome.
I mean, this is crazy.
They didn't put the bag.
They bagged everything, but they didn't put it in any type of order.
So, like, literally the first.
Oh, these came like that?
No, no, no.
I had to do it.
These are Ziploc bags.
Two-time spaceship.
But they did.
I'm just going to write 2X spaceship, Jimmy.
Don't touch the other one. That was early in the process. We were just going to write 2X space shit, Jimmy. Don't touch the other one.
That was early in the process.
We were just trying to find our way.
Look at these sandwich packages.
Man, I can't wait until Tyrus is done, dude.
I do.
You're going to be stuck with this thing.
You can't be having time for one of these.
Also, you know what you're going to do?
I know exactly what you're going to do when you pack up to leave this place.
You're going to go, leave it for the kids.
It's an art piece. There's the kids. It's an art piece.
Be part of the house.
This is pro-Legos. And everyone who comes in is going to go,
that's incredible. You think?
Yeah. What, that you bagged up all these pieces?
And labeled them correctly?
Just leave this here.
Oh, never at that time.
With the book open?
The last page where you should have been this.
Yeah.
You could see when he died.
Yeah.
He was up to three.
He was up to 311.
I couldn't go any further.
It's my favorite band.
I'm going to get the brains off this fucking wood.
That is wild, though.
I used to do models here and there.
Like model planes.
Nothing like this.
You think there'd be a bag?
I used to do models, too, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Models rule. But if I had more than four bags. I know. I got it. No, I got it. Like model planes. You'd think there'd be a bag. I used to do models too, bro. Yeah, dude. Models rule,
but if I had more than four bags.
I know, I got it.
No, I got it.
It was gay.
That's a lot.
They kept burning themselves
alive with cigarettes.
I couldn't afford
the mattress money.
I was flying through models.
Go ahead, I'm sorry.
No, I was just talking about
how it's insane
that you have
so many different pieces for this one thing.
So it's like, I think this is for professional architects.
And you bought it like, I did Legos when I was a kid.
Dude, it's 14 plus.
Yeah, architects aren't playing with fucking logos.
I don't know.
This is something you give an architect's son.
Yeah.
You want to be like, Daddy, make this, you little fucking.
Look at this. This is going to look cool.
This will be good in the. I mean, this is pretty far you're about halfway no way no because all the detail man the detail is all in the next look at all the fucking pieces are you
are you putting that material over the yourself the waterfall material yeah pretty sick dude it's it's it's fucking awesome but the you like
90 of your time is searching for a tiny piece going through the baggies like i can never find
anything it sounds like a challenge for click through it and then you find it you put it down
and then you got to open another bag it was crazy there was no organization to any of the pieces and
i looked it up online.
It's like, that's the way it's designed.
Is this why you canceled the podcast last night?
I'm too deep, Tommy.
You got all set late and you're like, I got to put two hours in the logos.
I think the guy wrote like a thing.
Oh, it's not even Legos.
No, that's what I was saying.
Wait, hold on.
It's literally by a company called Architect.
I'm like, this isn't Legos. No. That's what I was saying. Wait, hold on. It's literally by a company called Architect. That's why I'm like, this isn't Legos.
This is like advanced.
Where did you find this, by the way?
This is online?
I went to Falling Water.
I went to the actual box and it was there.
This is good audio for the listeners.
What?
You opening up?
Dude, you just saw more bags in there.
You shooting yourself?
I'm telling you,
there's shit.
It doesn't end
with this fucking thing.
The guy wrote a message.
He said,
Good luck, asshole.
Let me know how
divorce goes, fuckface.
That's at the bottom of it.
Hope she didn't take half
Dude
What's mini bricks?
Just literally mini bricks?
Yeah, I guess you can just make Legos
Because the patent's up
I think they started making Legos in
Oh, the patent for Legos
Yeah
Oh
Yeah, it's gone
Wait, you can't extend that?
Like a warranty?
This is what the guy fucking says.
The part bags contained...
This is the first time I'm reading this.
The part bags contained within are intentionally unnumbered
as they were during my childhood,
which enabled me to learn about color and shape differences
as a result of the sorting process.
Today, bags are typically numbered to help speed through the building process.
I like this.
In this day and age, I feel it is more important to slow down and take your time remember this is not about the final display
model that yes you will enjoy for the rest of your life but the building experience is something you
will only be able to enjoy once it's always about the journey which takes us to the destination
i like this dude it's kind of badass who's that mr coachella yeah i like this a lot it is
it's true
it's like fuck these
spoiled kids
anybody could just
and the guy does
it's like Ikea furniture
if they didn't label
any of that
they'd like figure it out
he definitely forgot
to label the pieces
I'm not gonna lie
make your bed
without any
dude the way the book
is laid out
it like
he'll have you
like work on something
boring to build to like a flourish
and then you like start over with boring stuff again and then builds to like it's
it's symphony it's also this book is is he crying yeah it's also psychological like you know as it
is emotional yeah like getting through that process and then going oh i created this little
thing and that's one of a thousand things. This huge...
Now you see the purpose.
Yeah.
Dude, look at the trust.
He's got to be an Indian professor somewhere.
No, he's just a white guy.
I think my brother actually worked with this guy
when he graduated law school.
His name's...
I think his name is Adam...
Brick?
No, it's not Adam, but it's Adam.
Because it's called.
I know.
It's me, Adam Brick. I think it's not Adam, but it's Adam. Because it's called. That's what it's called.
It's me, Adam Brick. I think he was having fun, yeah.
Adam Mini Brick.
Beautiful man.
Committed to Legos.
Well, we're cheering you on, man.
Let's get up.
We need updates.
I'll try to provide you some updates.
I don't know how much you've got to do in the next couple of years, but Jesus Christ, dude.
You're not going to get this done by the time you guys wrap.
No, there's no way.
You got one week.
I'm going to need a couple days
for sure.
It's tough. And the rest
is fucking
hedge work and
landscaping.
What?
Call me.
Get me out of the bullpen.
There's so much.
Maybe it's not gay.
Maybe I do have extra string in the garage.
There's so much fucking landscaping.
What do you mean?
That's good though.
How much was that?
If you don't mind me asking
It was like
$100
$300
Yeah I knew it was
I knew it was gonna be expensive
It's very expensive
It was the most
It was the most expensive one
$300
The holidays are coming up
Fuckface
I know
But I had to have it
What'd you get me for my birthday?
Not even a pet
$300 landscaping
Gotta go
Sandwich baggies
I'll let you do the landscaping
Yeah he's allowing you to do the landscaping,
Tommy. Christ. What do you want
for your birthday, Tom? What is that, by the way?
Is that a geek bar, that huge thing?
Yeah. Whoa.
I want to stop doing that.
I want to have an intervention for my
You guys both need intervention for
your vapes. You guys vape the fuck out.
I feel like if there was a family for an intervention
coming to my fucking patio.
They'd be like, where do you want to start?
Yeah.
You want to start in landscaping?
You want to build a foundation?
Every topic's in green baggies.
Like, we'll spread them out.
Read it.
Read it.
I'm like, cocaine?
Not yet.
That's bullshit.
Not yet.
That's a closer.
I'll end on that one.
That one I really love.
It's nice to podcast in person, man.
God damn.
It is so much better.
We've just been doing Zoom.
FaceTime.
Or FaceTime, yeah, yeah.
I saw clips.
They look good.
I mean, they look good.
It looks good, but there's nothing like this energy.
No, I get it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's got to kill you.
That's why half our fans are like,
I'll see you later.
Yeah.
I'll see you in January.
No, they're hanging strong.
Appreciate it, people.
Yeah, the dogs that are actually hanging strong.
Yeah.
Thank you.
But I think that is why I was, like,
talking about that going somewhere
and taking your passport away thing.
Because I think that in order to quit vaping,
I think I got to just go away from me.
We'd drop you off somewhere.
In the woods.
You got to go, like, North Korea the woods. We have to drop you off somewhere. You got to go to North Korea or China
where it's not possible.
You got to be like those girls in the fucking jungle.
You can't vape in China.
In China, you have to sit on an egg crate
and smoke in the back of a restaurant.
You have to have an eye patch, though.
Take an egg crate.
You're going to be missing your canines. Or just sit on the back of your heels Look at upright frog
Yeah dude
Yeah
What is it
How come they can all do that
They don't
Everyone's flexible
I think because they shit in holes
For the last 3,000 years
Yeah
There's no running water How do they not upgrade that?
Yeah, is that it?
I don't know.
That's my theory right now.
I just said it.
Just a plumbing, a straight-up plumbing issue.
Plumbing issue.
You learn to balance yourself and sit.
Fat Americans have bidets to align your stool and your colon.
Right.
They already do it, the way they shit like that in a hole.
See, that to me feels like another one of those made-up things your assholes below your feet they dig a
hole deeper hold no no pole dr. Pope right you get down like this yeah you're all ass i know but they do this with everything where it's just like
we involved just cooking like this no but they always go like it's like so they don't allow you
to go to china and be like i can't believe they're still shitting in holes like that's crazy they're
like no it's actually better for you. How's it better for you?
Is it actually better shitting in a hole?
It's a clear...
You're moving
the bowel.
Right? This is my guess.
I don't think so.
You're not aligning.
You're trying to straighten out the shitter.
That's why they say you should
with the squatty potty.
Right now, we're pinching it and there's a back load.
There's no way crunching up
into a ball is better for shitting.
It's for your colon.
If you get a squatty potty
or potty squatty, whatever the fuck it is,
it's basically some guy created a fucking step stool.
The way you lined up physically,
yes, that is better for you to shit.
It's less pressure. You don't have to push as much. You're saying when you stand up physically yes that is better for you to to less pressure you
don't have to push as much so you're saying like when you stand up your body has like a natural
like pinch of poop yeah so i say pinch it off yeah i don't know i just said that i think it's
because your butthole closes and pinches it you'd hope yeah it's like a sausage making one of my
biggest fears loose butthole yeah oh god i know old guys butthole
you gotta be able to give you like a string like a you know for like a raincoat
a runner's jacket yeah yeah you just pull these tightens up i've never we've never all the olds
in my family have never had any history of poops or peas uh needing like adult diapers which i'm very
happy because they died 50 thank god i'd rather die than wear a fucking adult let's go i'll wear
it on my face and shit all over the floor i'll be mr french in the doctor's all by
but that you hope so but it's like i don't know irish family it's like they don't tell you what's
actually going wrong ever so you don't know yeah no you don't know that's like they don't tell you what's actually going wrong ever, so you don't know. You don't know to clean it up.
They don't tell you that they're in diapers right now.
No, it's always last minute.
They're buying your clothes.
By the way, Aunt Kathy's got stage four.
From what?
She's had it for years. You didn't know?
I'm like, no.
I never know about the sickness in my family.
It's every one of my mother's conversations now.
It starts on the phone.
It goes right to one of my mother's conversations now. Yeah. To start on the phone. I know.
It goes right into one of her sisters.
Oh.
Their mental illness or their dying.
Yeah.
Did you hear?
Yeah, I love what they said.
My mom will be like, did you hear?
I'm like, obviously I didn't.
Just say what you need to say.
I haven't talked to you in like two months.
Exactly.
Yeah.
How would I hear?
My mom loves breaking news to me.
There's a message board for what's going on in Delco right now?
I didn't know Debbie was dead.
You didn't know that?
They have the same approach to it
like the fucking New York Post.
They talk about the most
scandalous thing they can think of
but it's somehow softened by going like it's terrible.
Usually it's softened by my mom not knowing
the entire story.
Can you imagine?
Just be thankful. My mom will be like, terrible. Usually it's often by my mom not knowing the entire story. Can you imagine? Can you imagine?
Just be thankful. Oh my god.
My mom will be like, did you hear about Aunt Ro doing that? I'll be like, no.
What happened? She'll be like, well, I don't know yet.
I'm like, why are you calling me with
half the story? Come on.
Yeah, they're trying to mine for information.
They're just poor real housewives.
Can you imagine? It's huge, dude.
None of them know the details. Can you imagine? It's huge, dude. None of them know the details.
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine that?
Jesus Christ.
Unbelievable.
I hate it.
How was your guys' Thanksgiving?
It was good.
I cooked my dick off.
Did you?
Where you at, in Austin?
Or did you come up here?
Austin.
It started off with me, my girl, Jamar Neighbors, and his girl, and the baby.
Nice.
That was the plan.
Oh, no.
And then I get in the green room.
Jamar's like, it's Aya Tommy.
And he's like, playing back.
Wearing like a fishnet shirt. Yeah.
Sunglasses and shit. Yeah.
He's like, Taylor's coming. And I was like, what?
He's like, yeah, Taylor's coming tomorrow.
And I was like,
okay.
Who's that? Tomlinson? No, he's a
very funny comic. Very sweet guy. Him and his girl like, okay. Who's that? Tomlinson? No, he's a very funny comic.
Very sweet guy.
Him and his girl apparently were invited.
Okay.
To my house.
Classic Jamar.
I still got to go to Costco.
And then I got drunk and invited Dylan Sullivan.
Nice.
Sweet boy.
Nice.
I invited Josh Francis, our producer,
because he and his girl were supposed to go to Iowa
and it got cancelled so I felt bad
more the better
for the most part
you're talking menu right now
I know, I know, but outside of the menu
that's a solid crew
and it was a great time
I bet it was awesome
two racks of lamb
two chickens, because fuck turkey
I made homely lasagna with crepes batch of sauce Two racks of lamb. Two chickens, because fuck turkey. Yeah.
I made homemade lasagna with crepes.
Wow.
Batch of sauce.
Sweet potato casserole.
Green beans.
Seven pounds of mashed potatoes.
What kind of stuffing did you go?
I didn't do stuffing.
I don't mind it.
My girl bought the stovetop box stuffing to make these spinach balls.
Oh, no.
What's that?
This one died.
That's the old one?
It's the same camera right as that guy yeah
it probably reacted to my spinach ball conversation
i'm out no one says that either i'm glad you did say that. Fuck turkey. I'm fucking so tired of turkey. Turkey's so...
I don't mind.
I like turkey.
I just don't like...
Honestly, Thanksgiving, I could do without it.
I'm good.
I did a Cornish hen one year.
Oh, I love Cornish hen.
I've only had it once.
Just do any variable.
My dad did duck Thanksgiving one year.
It was great.
But it's...
What's the difference between a Cornish hen and a regular hen?
I guess it's smaller.
I think it's more like
it's only this big.
So if you're cooking
for a small amount of people,
it's crazy.
Are you in this frame?
No.
You want to scoot over?
I'm close enough.
I actually am in this frame.
It was great.
Timing of everything. You know you gotta temper the meat everything has
to cook and i only have one oven yeah obviously and only so much stove stops space and i didn't
do too much homemade cranberry sauce uh so you're just trying to nail all this shit i got up at like
10 they came over at like five non-onstop. All the way to 8.
Damn. Seriously.
Fucking 10 hours straight of cooking.
Oh, you were cooking till 8? Yeah.
While they were even still there.
Yeah, I couldn't. I had to keep going.
I love Thanksgiving Day, though.
I used to love that during the day.
My mom and dad, my mom would
downstairs cook and it'd be the best.
I used to love Thanksgiving Day. This is my theory on turkey.
Thanksgiving Day is so wonderful as a child.
Turkey is so nostalgic.
Just fills your belly. It's good.
It's good.
It's sufficient.
Suffice.
Then you get older and you go,
oh, this isn't good.
It's just nostalgia.
We just had enough.
It's like, all right.
You can exchange that.
I'm not defacing
Turkey Day.
Well, the chicken is not an American animal.
That's the problem.
Oh, is that it?
I think so, yeah.
The turkey is American.
Is the chicken from South America?
No, I think it's from Asia.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that weird?
Is that why shit's...
Fuck, I had a good one.
Yeah.
I had a good one.
I never even thought about this.
I didn't know that.
I think turkeys are native to America.
That makes sense.
Fucking Maryland.
Pretty sure, yeah.
That's so funny.
America gets turkeys.
We're going to head out
on that fucking hot note.
Yeah.
How was your Thanksgiving?
What did you do?
I went to Detroit
and had Thanksgiving
with my girl's family.
Her parents live in Detroit?
Her family's from Detroit.
They live in Ohio.
So everyone went to Detroit to hang out.
So that was very fun.
Nice.
And then I went to New York and hung out with my family.
Got to see a bunch of my buddies were in town.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
We had a little after Thanksgiving Saturday thing that was fun.
What did you do, Brian?
We jumped around a lot.
We didn't have to do too much.
Oh, man. Thankfully...
Because Kylo's family is so big. Dude, they were literally
having their Thanksgiving at White Marsh.
Like, the entire White Marsh.
What? Whoa.
They're like two guests below name tags
at this point. If you put the
foxes and her mom's
side together, you're talking
2,000 people. She has eight sisters.
They have fucking 20 kids apiece.
Yeah, but you don't sit down
and eat dinner with those people.
You would think.
They're extended family.
Dude, it's you.
One thing about her family,
who I love her family.
Yeah, but the problem is
they're rich as shit
who puts it on like that.
So they get like catered stuff.
And it's, dude.
It's not the same.
Catered Thanksgiving is gross. Yeah, it's not the same catered thanksgiving
is gross yeah it is it is gross i don't fucking that's rich people bullshit dude i need homemade
maybe a little burnt yeah not that good the food milk tastes a little off yeah you know
juice the milk in the fridge you find like a basement or a separate room to get into some trouble. The line of the bathroom is jammed up.
Oh, dude.
I used to love a basement.
Just 30 cousins having a shit in the same half bath on the first floor.
Always one or two of my cousins come up behind me in a chair just grinding by the shoulders.
That's when you know it's like, let's take a walk.
Yeah.
Yep.
What are you doing?
Come here.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, dude.
We're doing fucking dust off.
He's doing blow off.
I would love to be whipped up for Thanksgiving.
He's coming out whipped up.
All right. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks, guys.
We're at Merry Christmas at this point.