Stuff Island - Brian Six - Chris' Collection - Stuff Island #162

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor are reunited after being on the set of Netflix's Tires. On this episode Tommy Talks about crashing his scooter on his way to the Comedy Mothership. Comedians Chris O'Co...nnor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Head to htttpes://www.squarespace.com/stuffisland to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND Try Bluechew for FREE! with Promo Code: STUFFISLAND. Just pay $5 for shipping. Bluechew.com Give the gift of comfortability and get 20% off your order with promo code STUFFISLAND at Publicrec.com Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code STUFFISLAND at shopmand.com! #mandopod Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I Love them Now I do is get in shape And I'll be super hot and unstoppable Starts with the teeth So I focus on my hair first Dicks gonna start growing anytime any day Yeah
Starting point is 00:00:37 Do my haircut because when they do the because I do Clippers and that's in the back, they hook up the fade so good. Like, dude, it's wild. I do not look good with a fade. I got a haircut once by a black barber in Philly, and it had just opened, and I went in there with hair twice as long as this, and it was chaos. Middle summer, they had no air conditioning. Well, dude, it's like Edward Scissorhands.
Starting point is 00:01:01 It really was. They don't know what the fuck you do in a wig like that, dude. They should have like a maximum length. Maximum white length. Black barbers, they should just have a flobie. Like any time a white dude walks in, they're like, sit in a flobie chair. I'm not trying to work with this hair. I went to a black barber shop in Yadin once, and they had a payphone inside.
Starting point is 00:01:23 That's sick. Yeah. Of course I got a black haircut. Obviously. They didn't even bother asking me what I fucking wanted to. No, they never ask. There was a place down in Wildwood that had the ashtrays in the fucking handles on the barbatures.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I would sit in and he would just go. I'd be like, okay. It would turn out, I mean, I wouldn't say it would turn out bad. I said hi to him. That's what it is. How many compliments did you get? On when? This one?
Starting point is 00:01:49 Yeah, Black Lady Barber. The one haircut I got in Philly, I think it's at the beginning of South Street. I don't know if the place is still there or not. It was so good that to this day, Kyla constantly, anytime we're in Philly, she's like, you should get your haircut at that place. And I'm like, it wasn't that good. She's like, it was.
Starting point is 00:02:09 And I was like, all right. But yeah, that was by Barbara. What was your choice of, let me see your hair again. Yeah, it's a standard.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Yeah, I'm standard. It's pretty standard white guy, but they're fucking nice back here. They did it nice back there. Yeah. Yeah. It feels nice.
Starting point is 00:02:22 When did you start finally cut grass? Probably like five years ago. Yeah. How. It feels nice. When did you finally cut grass? Probably like five years ago. Yeah. How long have I been dating Kyle? Fucking. That's such a dad joke. I get it, dude. When I marry your mom.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Let it ride, dude. You got good hair for it, though. You barely notice. Yeah, because I've always had lighter hair. It's because his whole fucking body is the same dough. Yeah, I'm just white. So like a little bit. He's because his whole fucking body is the same dough. Yeah, I'm just white. So, like, a little bit. He's a desert serpent, dude. You're a rattlesnake in the sand, Drew.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Just popping off. And one of those that buries itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you later, dude. Just the eyes, just glasses. Yeah, but I started going gray, like, I don't know, four or five years ago. Something like that. But they'd hit, like, harsh. I, like, I don't know, four or five years ago. Something like that. But they'd hit, like, harsh.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I was like, whoa. Yeah. Because I remember, I think McCusker was the first friend of mine that went, like, fucking. I was friends with him through the transition of knowing him with, like, regular color hair to, like, okay, your father time now. No, when a buddy has cancer, it's cancer, I followed him all through that process. It is tough, dude. It's a tough hit. It is, dude.
Starting point is 00:03:30 You see your first one. You never forget your first hair. It's just like your first puke. Yeah. As a kid, you remember that first curly black coming in near your nuts? You're like, I'm a man. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:03:40 You see that first gray. You're like, I'm dying. I'm walking. This is it, dude. It's the worst getting an haircut. It's only until, at least in my experience, it was like three or four when you start going, all right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:52 The first one you rip out and you go, that was a fluke somewhere. Something went wrong. I sneezed wrong. Yeah, that was a mistake. That's probably like a stress thing or something. No, that's not a long-term. That's not going to be forever.
Starting point is 00:04:06 My nutsack's a snow globe. Dude, I went down with a girl that was only like 30, maybe 35, and she had a gray bush. I was like, whoa, really? I've never seen a gray bush. It was wild, dude.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That'd be fun to do. A gray bush? No, dude, it was like... I've never seen a gray bush. It was wild, dude. That'd be fun to do. Go down on one? No, no, no. Man, what's that like? You can grow a hair, dude. Yeah. Make it a Patreon. No, if you're just like a young kid,
Starting point is 00:04:36 if you're just like just for men, like the salt and pepper look in your pubes. Oh, yeah. Just to see how someone would react. Yeah, that is a good move. Yeah. Someone would be like, what the fuck? See how fast they jump out a window.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Yeah, take a chance. I'm still pretty... I don't have any grays down there, though. I have no pubes that are gray. Really? It's all hair. Just all cigarette ashes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:00 What the hell is that? Dude, if I smoked cigarettes, I cigarettes i would yeah i'd make this i i have nothing to say here really but what do you mean do you like do you go outside to smoke cigarettes still yeah oh yeah i can't smoke inside i hate smoking inside really never been a fan but ever you judge other smokers yes yeah i i mean. I mean... Unless it's late night at a bar. Oh, yeah, then it's three packs, done. But I never liked the idea of smoking a cigarette in bed. Ew, no. That's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:05:34 In a bedroom alone, I don't like that. I don't like the smell of cigarettes lingering. It doesn't matter how bad the weather is outside, going outside and smoking a cigarette is nice. I think that's the leading cause of death in models. It's just slipping on your falling asleep in a bed. It's a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Dude, I swear to God. The leading cause of death is falling asleep in bed. A lot of turnover in that industry. A lot of turnover in that industry. They don't have... No, they got no nutrients. They're doing coke all night, Getting plowed by fucking You know
Starting point is 00:06:06 Yeah Business owners Yeah And they get weepy beepy And they just They hit a butt Fall asleep Right
Starting point is 00:06:13 Oh like light on fire Yeah It's like Dang Yeah it's a fucking Tinder box Yeah Be such a funny
Starting point is 00:06:21 Just time article Models Another model Dead from lit cigarette An epidemic I watched a live fire It'd be such a funny time article. Models. Another model. Dead from lit cigarette. An epidemic. I watched a live fire when I was in New York last. Really? It was at the top of a penthouse.
Starting point is 00:06:33 What? A fire in New York. Oh, really? Yeah, it was good to be back. I went back for my birthday. As soon as immediately, there was a whole group of animals around. I was like, I bet you that's a model. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I bet you a model. Yeah, before Burning Man, that's how you had to do it. You throw a dead model into it. A pile of wood. A sleepy model. Light a cigarette. That's how they invite the bands to Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:06:59 A dead model on a porch. Get that gangly hooker in there. Give her a cigarette. Yeah, it's how the triangle shirt weighs. Started the labor movement. A model of her time. Have you ever been to Burning Man? No.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yes. I would never go unless... I'd like fly over it. Drop a shit? Fly over it. Drop a shit. Fly over it. I would. I would like survey it.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I'd survey it. A helicopter ride over that would be kind of sick. Yeah, look at the scale. Yeah, but being there would be... Oh my God. Hellish. Like the last place that you want to be is a place where everyone's trying to reinvent themselves.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah. And they think this, I don't even know how long it is. Like church. Yeah. Well, at least church, it's hopeless. You know what I mean? That I like being around. Yeah, at least there's acid at Burning Man.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I enjoy being around. But everyone at Burning Man being like, trying to again, just shed some old skin and become someone new. Is that what happens at Burning Man? Yes. Oh, I didn't know. That's the messaging? 100%. New life, new beginning.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yes, it's like a world... Is that why they dress like that? Like a cicada? Yeah. Weird fishnet layers. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:28 It's to like leave your old identity behind, basically. Like vacation in another identity. It's just doing drugs in the desert. Of course it is. Why are they trying to mask it with this gay shit? Because you can't just say we're all going to go do drugs in the desert. Why not? That rules.
Starting point is 00:08:42 You have to have some deep journey behind it. Fuck that. It's got to be some spiritual experience. Meanwhile, they just get fingered. Yeah, exactly. A hundred, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Yeah. It's just high school, but you drove yourself there. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. You drove yourself there. Dad didn't have to drop me off
Starting point is 00:09:03 to get fingered. Yeah. In the sand. It is. You get a little lunch card. I would go to that, have to drop me off to get fingered. In the sand. You get a little lunch card. I would go to that, though. I would go just to see it. French bread pizza. And Coachella.
Starting point is 00:09:11 I've never been to Coachella. All three of us in these outfits were just cruising down the beach. Yeah. Tip like no stride, dude. I don't even know what that means. Three feds just cruising through the beach. Yeah, Coachella's another one. I've never been to that.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I'd like to go. I got no desire. I don't really want been to that I'd like to go I got no I don't really want to go I just want to go to go just to be like I have my whatever yeah again I would go for a day yeah I would go in a way that I could like land I could land in some type of helicopter just
Starting point is 00:09:37 so I could get evacuated quickly I can't walk out of a festival is like the worst. It's like a sports tailgate. Doing mushrooms in general, but doing a sports tailgate, you have to have your crew. You have to be comfortable with those guys.
Starting point is 00:09:56 And whatever happens outside of your zone, it's fun to watch. Yes. So we would have to have a whole encampment of our boys. Yeah. Our normal dudes with a tent and then just watch some lure pussy, some try and get drugs,
Starting point is 00:10:13 some stare at the stars. But that's not fun to watch. Oh, dude, I think we'd have a blast for a good hour and a half, two hours. Get a load on, leave before the fucking game's over. Beat the traffic. But see see that's what's good that's what's good about going to a football game is watching your buddy try to get pussy at a football game is so much better than watching him try to do it at coachella your dude in a hat and a jersey like having to like like tying one on way too early, having to survive the game,
Starting point is 00:10:46 then go to the bar afterwards and like continue. It's, it's like a really, it's like a heroic endeavor to like, to close that deal. Yeah. And your dick work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Like all of it. There's, there's the amount of escape routes. Do you remember the, the, the club shampoo? Yeah. What? That is. What? and your dick work yeah that is
Starting point is 00:11:10 the last is the last judgment but have you left enough to spare? 6 a.m. tailgate. Your final boss is just your packer. I went to shampoo and then this girl, I think I probably said this at some point, but my brother and his wife took me to shampoo and we're just like raving or whatever. I guess they were probably doing drugs. I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Obviously. Yeah, I think I was like 20, 19. Was this the under 21? I had a fake ID at Drexel called yeah i think i was like it's shampoo 20 yeah 19 i fake was this the under 21 i don't know i had a fake id and at drexel called uh his name was anthony philip nympho the third philip nympho anthony philip nympho the third yeah my that's a sick name tony gave it to me when he turned 21 it's just another wop he's like threat level red You have nympho in your name? Any Italian with the word nympho How'd you get that name?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Were you a blacksmith? Yeah And it's like the whole time But it's kind of genius If you think about it Because it does give the guy A minute to make a joke And they go like
Starting point is 00:12:14 You wouldn't possibly Yeah Right Fake this name You're not that fucking dumb Yeah And I kind of Anyway I got in this club
Starting point is 00:12:20 I met this girl And she's all fucked up on something. And then we started like hooking up. And I drive with her to Jersey for an after party. And I was like, I walked up to my brother, Steve. He's like, do it. He's like, fucking do it. You're off the map.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yeah. See ya. And went to this fucking house party. Everybody is fucked up. I mean, fucked up like, your anxiety's up. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, I wasn't doing drugs then. Right.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Somebody's going to find out about this, and it's going to need to be addressed by the authorities. 100%. And I'm in the middle of like central Jersey. Like, we drove like an hour and a half. It was fucking nuts. Anyway, she's going room to room looking for a buddy there was a dude crying holding his knees next to the washer dryer room he was in the k-hole ah hilarious i don't even know what that was but like there's three
Starting point is 00:13:20 people like yelling like he's in a k-hole And meanwhile, I'm just like, I want to suck this girl's boobs. Like that's all. I came to Jersey to get some meat. I want chest meat. Just give me meat and let me get the fuck out of here. And we waited till the sun came up, finally get back to her apartment. And she's just like in a hoodie. She's coming down from whatever the fuck she was.
Starting point is 00:13:46 And I'm like, still, are we going we gonna right we're gonna hook up and then we just like awkwardly hooked up with the sun up in like her fucking her bedroom with like terrible sheets oh this story sucks but you missed the window you missed the window that's the point yeah but she missed the window right we knew when to leave it would have been a great fucking time her drugs and her system says let's just continue this party. Went too far around a fucking bunch of maniacs doing ketamine. And then I'm just like, well, I still got to beat off. Yeah, you got to get something. So when do we leave it?
Starting point is 00:14:16 That is the worst feeling in the world. What a wild story. I know, dude. No, no, but that's nightmare scenario is that thing where it's like early on enough in the night you've kind of agreed that you're going to hook up. And then they just keep going to the next thing. And you're like, we did it. Yeah, we confirmed. Let's just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:38 You think you're mentally and emotionally prepared to just lay pipe, hang out, or do whatever. Right. And then she's like, I got to go to this other party. If it's a normal party, fine. If it's a fucking Lollapalooza with everyone fucking toot and heroin. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:54 You start to hate her. You start to hate everyone there. And then I'm like, well, I can't leave. I can't just walk outside. Also the K-hole thing. I feel like Philadelphia was like in,
Starting point is 00:15:04 like it is huge in Philly. Huge. My brother used to sell that shit. Way before,. I feel like Philadelphia was like into, like it is on. Ketamine was huge in Philly. Huge. My brother used to sell that shit. Way before, like, again, like ketamine was around when I was in college. And then. Ketamine's gay, dude. I haven't heard of it.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Like, it was, again, it was like the late aughts. And then it went away. And then it became therapy. That's huge. And now it's therapy. See, that's what they're doing with drugs. Because now nitrous is actually popular with kids. And I'm like, where have you been?
Starting point is 00:15:28 What are you fucking kidding me? This one guy at the gas station right up the street from here, he fucking told me the one day I went in there. He was like, okay, $13.95. So I was paying for it. And he goes, excuse me, sir, you know what this is? And I was like, yeah, it's a fucking, it's a Whip It.
Starting point is 00:15:42 He goes, Whip It? I go, yeah. He's like, what do I do with it? I was like, why are you asking? Why do you have it? You have a cracker? You whip it good. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I go, you need a cracker and a balloon. And he looked at me. He looked at me. I was like, no, not crack. Okay. So you need a metal thing. I don't want to ruin the end. Just give me the cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Why are you just holding a canister, a whippet canister, asking customers who are coming in here, like, what is this? I'm like, I don't know, dude. That's the saddest. I hate ketamine. I've never liked it. Whippet drug addiction is the saddest to watch. Come on. You get addicted to whippets.
Starting point is 00:16:20 You're an asshole. Dude, you are a fucking asshole. This bitch on Twitter wrecked a really nice car doing whippets. You're an asshole. Dude. You are a fucking asshole. This bitch on Twitter wrecked like a really nice car. Doing whippets? Oh, dude, this is so crazy. I was just driving with a balloon. I almost threw... It's not a fucking Pink Floyd concert, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:40 It's also the first time I did a whippet was a Pink Floyd concert. 1994. Balloons, baby They'd sell you They'd sell you three for ten or whatever Yeah, yeah Because you'd pop two of them
Starting point is 00:16:51 Before you could, yeah The cop opens the door And she's like The car's smashed And she's like down like this And she looks up at the cop And the cop's like Come on, get out
Starting point is 00:17:02 Put that down Get out of the car And she's like Yeah, she's like Hold on, I got's like... She hits it like two more times. Yeah. The addiction. Dude, the car is fucking totaled against another parked car. So she was just driving with like a concert balloon?
Starting point is 00:17:16 She was driving, hitting fucking whip. It's getting high as fuck. Smashes the car. A cop comes up. You see it on his cam. And she's like, she won't get out of the car until she finishes that fucking can. Oh, his can? That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:31 You can excuse drinking and driving. Yeah, that's common. That's an honest mistake. That's American, dude. That's an American arrest. That's an honest mistake. Doing a whip, it's like literally putting drunk glasses on those things that you put things and trying to drive you know your gun the whole point of the drug is to make it so you spin yeah ma'am you went back
Starting point is 00:17:52 to office depot for another can her seats like on her forehead that's wild imagine going to jail like what are you in for? I can't believe it. There was a two-for-one sale on computer dusters. Caught a bad beat. They love dusters. That's one of my favorite interventions. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Intervention rules. I started watching that again. A couple weeks ago, I just noticed it on the random Samsung channel guide that you get free. Yeah. And it plays it for 24 hours. Oh my God. Cancel the plans.
Starting point is 00:18:29 It's seriously. I don't care what the fuck I do. If I find intervention on Samsung TV, see ya, dude. What's the feeling? I'm missing your wedding, the birth of my child. Dude, how good is the feeling when you get guide and you look at the time frame. It's just like intervention for the next two days. And Pawn Stars is right beneath it.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Oh, yeah, dude. I ain't going nowhere, dude. Intervention. It is very much a crossover universe. People who do this like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Intervention. Dude, the best thing.
Starting point is 00:19:00 That's a guy from Intervention. Did you watch Intervention at all? Like, did you watch? I've seen it before. Dude, I think. It spooks me, too. My you watch Intervention at all? Like, did you watch? I've seen it before. Dude, I think. It spooks me too much. My favorite one, I think they pulled off of. I think you can find it on YouTube, but it's like, dude, it's this crackhead kid.
Starting point is 00:19:13 He would just go out and drink all day, and it was him, his brother, and his dad living at home. Is this the one he fought? Dude, when he yells at his dad about the crack pipe. Yes, yes. The big fucking fat dude? It's the funniest fucking thing in the world. The guy's like, Dad, I know you took my fucking crack pipe,
Starting point is 00:19:28 you piece of shit. He's like, No, I didn't. Why would I take your crack pipe? He's like, Don't even fucking talk back to me. Then just punches a hole in the wall and then breaks his brother's arm.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Dude, this dude is Shrek. Literally, he's Shrek. He's wild. He's an Irish Shrek in the middle of nowhere on a back deck trying to fight his dad over a crack pipe. And everybody's scared to talk to him. Nobody wants to help him.
Starting point is 00:19:49 That's why they call it intervention. Like, we can't control this animal. He got off his leash a long time ago. Hit him with a blow dart. Get this fucking dog down. Dude, you need to get a stool sample. You know how Shane does that? Shane does that like joke shit where he's like,
Starting point is 00:20:04 I'll fucking kill you. This dude did that. He would just, he would confront you like a rabid dog. You know things are out of control when someone can openly be mad. What did you do with my crack pipe? Dude, he was really lost his mind. And still get respect on, I didn't touch it.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Do you know what scared me about that episode, though? I'll help you look for it. I'll help you look for it. I'll help you look for it. Where did you leave it last? I'll help you look for it. Anything to get off his deck. It's one of my top five. Dude, that episode, the one thing about it was the scariest,
Starting point is 00:20:35 was watching how they say what they do during the day, which is usually nothing. Dude, he's at this sports bar by himself. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. The start of a new year is the perfect time to get organized, set goals, prioritize what matters most. For me, a top priority of mine is my financial wellness, which seems more important than ever.
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Starting point is 00:23:10 Of course. Many a time where it's like a Tuesday. Why isn't everybody else taking shots? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're at least fucking pussies. You got that crack pipe? You got that crack pipe? You got yourself.
Starting point is 00:23:18 That's what's so scary is they're doing everything that you've almost done at one point. I'm like a tweak away from this dude. One million percent. It's wild. They're a couple notches bigger, and you're like, yikes. Well, think about how much booze you have to do to level out with too much Coke, right? Yeah. And then crack is another level.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Yeah, you throw the crack in the mix, come on now. I mean, I've crushed a bottle of booze with an eight ball. Easy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The amount, but this fucking, this water. One hand washes the other on that one yeah
Starting point is 00:23:45 actually I only have one hand I'm usually eating off for seven hours because you're hanging upside down doing sit ups
Starting point is 00:23:53 my dick is my dick is shedding like a Coachella costume dude yeah it's wild somebody found it a couple years ago and sent it to me but I think you have to find it on like YouTube but I don't think it's wild. Somebody found it a couple years ago and sent it to me, but I think you have to find it on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:24:08 I don't think it's on demand or regular season. They took it off because he was too intense. My favorite one is the computer duster girl. She would buy computer duster from the Home Depot, Office Max, whatever. She'd buy a six pack. The way they
Starting point is 00:24:23 do it with ibuprofen now, right? Ibuprofen? Propan? Ibuprofen now? Ibuprofen? You get flagged? I think you can't buy more than one canister of computer canister. They do that with, what is it, like Sudafed or something?
Starting point is 00:24:36 Because of the meth. That's what I meant, Sudafed. Just someone being like, I got a million key. Oh, you're talking about Sudafed. I'm running a whole fucking lot. Yeah. I need all these books of matches to shut up
Starting point is 00:24:46 so she just she would buy six packs do it in the car do it at home and just all day all night she was a dainty tiny little girl and she fucked up like
Starting point is 00:24:58 so somebody would open the door and be like Kara is this a girl that's like naked all day yeah no no that's number one dude she's number one I knew. Is this a girl that's like naked all day? Yeah. No, that's number one. Dude, she's number one? I knew it.
Starting point is 00:25:07 That's crystal meth. That's crystal meth. Yeah, that's meth. Also, hot as hell. Not bad. Dude, not bad. The chick is so hot. A couple times I watched,
Starting point is 00:25:15 I'm like, this girl would fucking hit this and someone would walk in and she'd be like, shut the door. Dude, that's not bad. Dude, in arguments.
Starting point is 00:25:24 She'd be arguing with a family member and they're like, get out of the bed. You can't be doing this. She'd be arguing with a family member Get out of the bed, you can't be doing She'd be like No, you can't, I'll close the door She's the one that's like Writing a screenplay on toilet paper No, that's the one The meth head
Starting point is 00:25:38 That's my number one, dude I'm sorry, Chris No, no, I love it There's this hot stripper in the middle of fucking nowhere she's hot for like let's say fucking Florida no it is Florida
Starting point is 00:25:52 some dog shit town in Florida and got a good body she lives in the pool house of her father who's a very soft mild mannered man very polite I wish she wouldn't be doing that and he's like very put, mild-mannered man. Very polite. No, I wish she wouldn't be doing that. Right?
Starting point is 00:26:05 Yeah. And he's like very put together. And she is a fucking... They should build like mech suits for dads like that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Dude. She's such a bitch. The kid's out of control.
Starting point is 00:26:16 You need to hit them. Step into this thing. It was the quintessential recipe for divorce early, damaged child, spoiled on one or both ends. Yep. Nobody could tell her no. She had fucking spiraled the fuck out and she wasn't getting money. And she clearly was doing meth or some shit.
Starting point is 00:26:37 And she'd be in her back pool house. When I say it was a garbage dump. Yeah. With a mattress, nothing on it and she'd be dancing like Britney Spears and doing like these these like one-off yeah it's pretty hot right she's gonna have to get back to work someday off season for a running back. He can't get lazy. Don't get lazy on me. You gotta keep the muscles loose.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Yeah, come on, dude. And she's like pirouetting on this fucking, this shit stain. It's in front of him. Dude, there's like piss and urine and fucking Oh, the house is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Bottles and bottles of empty plastic pop-offs. So this bitch would like, when the father would refuse to give her money so she could level out. She would just go to the, she'd walk down,
Starting point is 00:27:29 she'd fucking dance. It's kind of like fucking Coachella. She looked like a Coachella on Sunday. That's actually a good comparison. Sunday morning Coachella is what this bitch's personality is. She's looking to barter.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Barter for anything. And she would literally barter to these old men. She'd be she'd be like would you get me a bottle yeah this and they'd be like what are these cameras doing here yeah dude i'm not kidding that's exactly what happens she walks around the side to ask them the kiss of the camera so it doesn't impede upon her progress oh yeah and then she'll just like rub his shoulder or something yeah they tell the camera guys like, yeah, you can't come with me on this one.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Yeah. Not safe. You're about to see some shit. Dude, there's also like... You're solo on this one. There's a scene where like you could see the guy stops where she walks away.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It's like Sean Connery in The Rock. She rolls back out the front door. She's pulling... Tossed her cans out the front door. She's pulling duster cans out like Nick Cage. Welcome to my car. Dude, but you could tell where the guy was clearly promised something. So they would like disappear
Starting point is 00:28:43 from eyesight for a bit. And then he would come out with this plastic bag full of a fifth of pop-up or some shit, hand it off, and she'd be like, thank you! Dance off, and he's like, the hell? Just fucking got tricked. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:29:00 Again, Walter? Not again. I got again! I did got again! I think I got again. I don't know. No, the ones that Tommy always showed me were the ones with the vicious turn in the middle. What? Where it would always be, it would be a daughter or son who's out of control.
Starting point is 00:29:27 And the whole front end would be the parent being like, they're out of control, trying everything. I don't know how to, I don't know what to do. Most parents are pussies on this show. Yeah. And then halfway. Most of these problems could have got solved very easily in their teenage years. It's always their fault. They're just like, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Like, hit him in the fucking head. What are you talking about? It's got to be a little bit before he does. Because that's what he was saying. For the first, I don't know, what are they, 22 minutes? How long are these things?
Starting point is 00:29:47 An hour? Hour, yeah. The first half hour, you'd be like, just smack some senses. What the fuck are you doing? And then the turn would come and the parent would be like
Starting point is 00:29:56 in their shitty garbage bed with them like doing the same shit. Yeah. Oh, that's top five. Well, it's just like the girl and the mom. Yeah Oh, that's top five. It's just like... The girl and the mom? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:08 When she's burning pills on foil. She's smoking opiates. Yeah, she's freebasing. They didn't set it up. The biggest reveal of all time in intervention history. This mom was trying to curtail her fucking behaviors. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Smash cut to like 20 minutes yeah the fat mom's laying next to her also free basically oh jesus yeah it's full inception dude they go another dream deeper god what a show and the dad the dad is like they're both crazy yeah the dad moves out in that couple yeah i can't do it yeah That's the holiday end. Just sad. Yeah. Super sad. Yeah, I think at one point, I think they're driving them to the intervention.
Starting point is 00:30:50 They both ditch. Hit a pole. They jump out of the black like an intervention SUV. Intervention SUV. And they run wild, not in Vegas, but just around Vegas, like in the desert outside of Vegas. They're just like sprint. In the desert outside of Vegas. They're just sprinting along the road.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Intervention's got to drive next to them. Just get back in the car. You keep calling it intervention. Well, it is. Intervention would be always out there. It's not people in their lives. It's literally the producers. Yeah, yeah. Guys, we're going to see tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Yeah, it's the sound guys. Get back in the car. It's like the gaffer kids. Come on, get my kid out tomorrow. Jesus. Bitch's the sound guys. Get back in the car. It's like the gaffer kids. Come on, get my kid out tomorrow. Jesus. Bitches in the bushes. Bitches in the bushes. I think the best thing about that show is, though, when they finally get them to go to rehab, it ends.
Starting point is 00:31:35 And you know what I'm going to say. Two days later, check this out. I'm like, yes. Fuck that, dude. Relapse. Yes. Dude, when I hear that tune,
Starting point is 00:31:47 I literally, that beginning whistle, it's somewhere. It's like, this is going to be an hour of greatness. Is this still starting? It might be coming
Starting point is 00:31:59 back from commercial. Because they do come from commercial. All tunes just started. Yeah, just started. I just did it all. The first 10, I don't want to start halfway through.
Starting point is 00:32:08 You've got to come in fresh. First 10 minutes, an amusement park. Water park. It's the greatest fucking visual you could ever imagine. It's all the bad shit showing wild things. Visually, it's so stunning. Stunning. Then there's 20 minutes of a funeral home.
Starting point is 00:32:28 It's all the family members writing letters. They're crying on their crotch into their cigarette ash. And it's just like boring. And then you want to get to the rehab part where they're shaking on an airplane. And they get out like sick dogs. And then you want to see the reveal in the last 10 minutes. Did they make it? Some guys are like, I hope they make it.
Starting point is 00:32:47 I really like this guy. There's got to be. Oh, I do. I feel. I'm like, come on. I'm pushing for him. All the shit I talk, I do push for him. I'm like, come on, buddy. You got it.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Me too. Of course. You're rooting for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. You're just looking at yourself going like, come on. You can get up off the floor.
Starting point is 00:33:02 All right. Let's go to our top fives, dude. Yeah. Hand sanitizer drinker. Yeah. Dude, was that a lady can get up off the floor. All right, let's go to our top fives, dude. Yeah. Hand sanitizer drinker. Yeah, dude, was that a lady who pissed out on the front lawn? That's number three for me. That's Listerine. Yeah, Listerine.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Listerine ruled. The fucking old lady, old rich white woman who drinks Listerine. She drinks golden, and it's gold Listerine, not even like minty. Yeah, she has pop-pop flavor, dude. It's like Gatorade ice. Gatorade ice.
Starting point is 00:33:29 As long as it was 30% off. No one's buying Gold Listerine. It's disgusting. You ever had it? She'd run out of fucking... She'd run out of... Minor Goldschlager? People don't realize.
Starting point is 00:33:41 I had a family member go to rehab, and my mother fucking cleared all of alcohol products hairspray I'm like dude he's going to find a beer around the corner you moron he's not going to stick Aquanet in his fucking face and then I watch
Starting point is 00:33:59 the show I'm like oh my god dudes are drinking hand sanitizer and smoking Listerine let's go it's got to be terrifying to find out how much smokable Yeah, they will. Drinking hand sanitizer and smoking Listerine? Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. It is. It's got to be terrifying to find out how much smokable, drinkable stuff is actually in your house. I bet your neighbors know. This is a big Listerine neighborhood, I bet you.
Starting point is 00:34:15 These bitches have nothing to do all day, dude. She's like, I bet I can smoke that. Yeah. I could probably do that. I bet that's where the tin toker was invented, dude. The suburbs with rich white women. She's like, I don't have a phone. I got to make something.
Starting point is 00:34:29 She would just sleep on the lawn. She would sleep on the lawn. She was unable to make it home. Or she would leave the house. Just hang it out. Let her go, man. She's just chilling. Dude, the front lawn part is so fun. out let her go man she's just chilling like her family members that come over it's like virginia or something yeah so southern so stereotypical rich whites rich whites yeah violently white the kind of white you avoid
Starting point is 00:34:57 even if they're nice kind of thing pearl earrings pearl necklace She's wearing clothes that her second or seventh ex-husband. And they're drinking on like a porch that looks like an old fucking plantation. You know what I mean? Where bad things probably happened here. And then she gets too fucked up.
Starting point is 00:35:19 And her family members are like, we have to go to lunch. Maybe not have another wine. And she's drinking a wine that's like, I'm only having one. And it's a fucking gel. It's a bottle. Yeah, it's just a bottle.
Starting point is 00:35:33 It's a camelback. She's like, well, I'll just finish it real quick. She's putting shit in her purse. They kick her out of lunch. They're like, she's too much. She comes home from lunch. When she goes to lunch, all of her other family members, or I don't know, maybe the production team were like, hide everything.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Yeah. So she goes on a fucking scavenger hunt looking for a bottle of anything to consume. And then she found Listerine. Yeah. Which is like, I think it's like 30% alcohol. Yeah. It's like close to whiskey. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:02 And your breath smells delish. Yeah. And your breath smells delish. Yeah. And she would crush it, fall into the bushes, sleep on the zoysia. Just in her gear. During the day. And her family's so innocent. Every night, they're just like, she must have been trying to brush her teeth and come to lunch. I bet it wasn't her fault. She thought it was her breath.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Yeah. I couldn't find a toothbrush. But they save them. I noticed that, too, with intervention. Somebody like Listerine, it's like, why not throw these out? Like you go in these rooms, there's 75 fucking hundred bottles of empty golden Listerine. I'm like, what are these, trophies or something? It's like college where kids would keep the bottles.
Starting point is 00:36:35 It's wild to me that addicts do that. I think they're so fucked up they're afraid to show their family members that they consumed something. So they put it in the trash like... Why are there three empty bottles of Listerine in the trash can? My one buddy who was an addict said that he used to keep all his empty 20s, like Coke baggies. I'm like, why do you say these? It's scary, dude.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Because, dude, honestly, in the heart of addiction, I remember thinking, I can't throw this out because it's almost like giving it up. So it's like, I have to keep it for my own. It's like, oh, you were fucked. He goes, oh, yeah. He was hoarding it. And then like, dude, every couple of months he would take like, dude, no joke.
Starting point is 00:37:14 There was thousands of these little 20s in this one jacket he had. He would take like 40 of them out and just and get one to get one. And I'm like, bro, you got to fucking get on Listerine or something, dude. This fucking coke shit's killing me. I usually just open them up and put them on my gums. Yeah, just eat it.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Eat the whole bag. I don't know what I'm doing. I put it under my tongue. Can you do any... What if you just got someone a passport, flew them somewhere, and then took their passport and flew home? Where did this come from? What are we talking about? Did they figure it out? Just strand them somewhere, then took their passport and flew home. Where did this come from?
Starting point is 00:37:45 What are we talking about? Just strand them somewhere, I'm saying. What? You can. Yeah, I'm sure you could do that. The point is they love them and they don't want to. They can't even kick them out of the basement. They're going to drive them to Dubai.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Take them on a big drinking trip. One last hurrah? Yeah. Most of them do do that though. When they? Yeah, to like... And they're like, hey, man, we couldn't find you. Western Australia. Most of them do do that, though. When they agree to go to rehab, they'll be like, but I do need a couple hours. I'm like, obviously.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Which they do give them shit about. I'm like, fuck that. Let them go out in Taiwan on for the plane ride. You know what's wrong now? Both the Listerine girl... They haven't got no parole. Both the Listerine girl and the Whippet girl are now counselors on the internet. They all become counselors.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Not all of them. A lot of them do. But some of the severe cases. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Dude, yeah. I had a love rubbing that shit in their face.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Is there footage? Do they do like a whole... For every episode, they could do a whole other episode that's just talking to the crew. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a great idea. They should just have all of the people that were working... They got to sign NDAs and all that shit. Yeah. I'm sure that crew has
Starting point is 00:38:46 seen things that would get them in prison. Not the crew, but the other person. There was one episode I saw. The guy just did meth and jerked off to porn for like seven hours straight. Seriously? Yeah. It was just like a decent looking guy.
Starting point is 00:39:02 They filmed it. So this dude was so addicted he was so addicted to meth of beating off I get it that he would sit in front of his computer
Starting point is 00:39:11 put a blanket oh come on over him a drink over him and just fucking beat off and then there would just be like a camera guy
Starting point is 00:39:19 in the back like he didn't care yeah he would just cover I think he was like an old porn star or something like that yeah
Starting point is 00:39:24 the meth guy yeah wait I think he was an old porn star. The meth guy? Wait, I think I... Jerked off with this? I think I came to that guy. Is this him? I feel like that might have been one of the ones that I saw. Yeah. I don't remember. Special man.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Intervention, dude. Best show in the world. Yeah, it's pretty good. I actually stopped watching because I was watching so much of it. It was a couple weeks ago out here. It was on that channel. I had Best show in the world. Yeah, it's pretty good. I actually stopped watching because I was watching so much of it. And then it was a couple weeks ago out here. It was on that channel. And I was like, I had it on in the background. And I was like, oh, wait, this one rules. It's like, takes one line to me,
Starting point is 00:39:52 and I'm in all the way in again. 100%. And I'm like, oh, dude, this is hilarious. It's also like Goodfellas. Like, even if you've seen the episode, you're like, these are all hits. Yeah, it's still good. Fire it up.
Starting point is 00:40:02 I'm going to watch start to finish. Until they walk in the rehab just like oh shit yeah there's nothing we could do jimmy a couple of them look like they were hanging in the back of a meat truck too dude it's fucking carbone i don't know i can't i can't there's something about watching this show that makes me feel like i'm getting closer to needing an intervention it makes me feel like good god i'm not needing an intervention. It makes me feel like, good God, I'm not that bad. Them saying. No, that show I watched to be like, all right, I'm not that bad.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah. That's why Mario Pogba was successful. Like, white trash areas. Yeah, yeah. I'm not fucking my brother. I'm not this guy. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:37 You used to get uncomfortable. You would literally, like, scream to turn it off. Oh, yeah. If I got to the remote before you, you know where I go. And you're like, no, you know where I go. No, we're not doing this. Because you put on interventions. You go, I can't get... Or death videos.
Starting point is 00:40:51 You go, I can't watch an hour and a half of one thing and then it would be a five hour marathon. Of people's lives just falling apart. Let's be real guys. Wearing nice pants sucks. Who decided that stiff, guys. Wearing nice pants sucks. Who decided that stiff, uncomfortable fabric squeezing your family jewels
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Starting point is 00:43:49 It's $5 off. It's amazing. Now back to the episode. What are you watching? I'm like, Tommy's like, it's just called Bombs. I don't know. It's kind of a compilation. It's called Iraq.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Season 7. Don't go in there. Most of the shot is Syria. there most likely will be blood yeah what else I don't know I keep staring at this project and I gotta be honest with you Chris this is intervention for me how many pieces you
Starting point is 00:44:19 that's overwhelming is your cameras picking this up by the way or no yeah yeah there's some of this in the show. You labeled all these bags. Dude, you had to. I'm telling you, it was crisis. I thought when I opened it. Dude, this is the first time I see him outside of set.
Starting point is 00:44:36 I didn't know what he was working on. This is, we need an intervention. Will I go with intervention? This isn't even the podcast. We're like, Chris, will you accept our help? You're turning into a fucking dork. I didn't want to do it. Get out of my room.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I'm creating order out of chaos here. Chris is going to come and be like, you got my green baggies, motherfucker? I know you fucking hit them. Where are the waterfalls? I know you hit the waterfalls. I was in two starships. Mom scared the ass. I got this thing. I was like're horrible. It was the two starships. Mom screwed ass.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I got this thing. I was like, whatever. It'll be enjoyable to put this together. It comes in. There's no organization. Look at that. Can you show the box? I want them to see the box.
Starting point is 00:45:17 I mean, the book alone. The book is. That's absurd. It's the Bible. It is. You have a Bible-sized instruction. He's on page 311. This is the house.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Why are you an architect all of a sudden? I just wanted to build it, man. Stuff Island, brought to you by the Adam Brick, the building block of design. It looks like Epstein Island once nature takes over. Yeah, it's the ruins. It's Detroit, Epstein Island. It is pretty detailed, too. That's what's going to kill you. Dude, it's going to be awesome. This is crazy. They didn't put the ruins. It's Detroit, Epstein Island. It is pretty detailed, too. That's what's going to kill you.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Dude, it's going to be awesome. I mean, this is crazy. They didn't put the bag. They bagged everything, but they didn't put it in any type of order. So, like, literally the first. Oh, these came like that? No, no, no. I had to do it.
Starting point is 00:45:57 These are Ziploc bags. Two-time spaceship. But they did. I'm just going to write 2X spaceship, Jimmy. Don't touch the other one. That was early in the process. We were just going to write 2X space shit, Jimmy. Don't touch the other one. That was early in the process. We were just trying to find our way. Look at these sandwich packages.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Man, I can't wait until Tyrus is done, dude. I do. You're going to be stuck with this thing. You can't be having time for one of these. Also, you know what you're going to do? I know exactly what you're going to do when you pack up to leave this place. You're going to go, leave it for the kids. It's an art piece. There's the kids. It's an art piece.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Be part of the house. This is pro-Legos. And everyone who comes in is going to go, that's incredible. You think? Yeah. What, that you bagged up all these pieces? And labeled them correctly? Just leave this here. Oh, never at that time. With the book open?
Starting point is 00:46:43 The last page where you should have been this. Yeah. You could see when he died. Yeah. He was up to three. He was up to 311. I couldn't go any further. It's my favorite band.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I'm going to get the brains off this fucking wood. That is wild, though. I used to do models here and there. Like model planes. Nothing like this. You think there'd be a bag? I used to do models, too, bro. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Models rule. But if I had more than four bags. I know. I got it. No, I got it. Like model planes. You'd think there'd be a bag. I used to do models too, bro. Yeah, dude. Models rule, but if I had more than four bags. I know, I got it. No, I got it. It was gay. That's a lot. They kept burning themselves alive with cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:47:14 I couldn't afford the mattress money. I was flying through models. Go ahead, I'm sorry. No, I was just talking about how it's insane that you have so many different pieces for this one thing.
Starting point is 00:47:26 So it's like, I think this is for professional architects. And you bought it like, I did Legos when I was a kid. Dude, it's 14 plus. Yeah, architects aren't playing with fucking logos. I don't know. This is something you give an architect's son. Yeah. You want to be like, Daddy, make this, you little fucking.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Look at this. This is going to look cool. This will be good in the. I mean, this is pretty far you're about halfway no way no because all the detail man the detail is all in the next look at all the fucking pieces are you are you putting that material over the yourself the waterfall material yeah pretty sick dude it's it's it's fucking awesome but the you like 90 of your time is searching for a tiny piece going through the baggies like i can never find anything it sounds like a challenge for click through it and then you find it you put it down and then you got to open another bag it was crazy there was no organization to any of the pieces and i looked it up online. It's like, that's the way it's designed.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Is this why you canceled the podcast last night? I'm too deep, Tommy. You got all set late and you're like, I got to put two hours in the logos. I think the guy wrote like a thing. Oh, it's not even Legos. No, that's what I was saying. Wait, hold on. It's literally by a company called Architect.
Starting point is 00:48:45 I'm like, this isn't Legos. No. That's what I was saying. Wait, hold on. It's literally by a company called Architect. That's why I'm like, this isn't Legos. This is like advanced. Where did you find this, by the way? This is online? I went to Falling Water. I went to the actual box and it was there. This is good audio for the listeners. What?
Starting point is 00:49:02 You opening up? Dude, you just saw more bags in there. You shooting yourself? I'm telling you, there's shit. It doesn't end with this fucking thing. The guy wrote a message.
Starting point is 00:49:11 He said, Good luck, asshole. Let me know how divorce goes, fuckface. That's at the bottom of it. Hope she didn't take half Dude What's mini bricks?
Starting point is 00:49:28 Just literally mini bricks? Yeah, I guess you can just make Legos Because the patent's up I think they started making Legos in Oh, the patent for Legos Yeah Oh Yeah, it's gone
Starting point is 00:49:39 Wait, you can't extend that? Like a warranty? This is what the guy fucking says. The part bags contained... This is the first time I'm reading this. The part bags contained within are intentionally unnumbered as they were during my childhood, which enabled me to learn about color and shape differences
Starting point is 00:49:57 as a result of the sorting process. Today, bags are typically numbered to help speed through the building process. I like this. In this day and age, I feel it is more important to slow down and take your time remember this is not about the final display model that yes you will enjoy for the rest of your life but the building experience is something you will only be able to enjoy once it's always about the journey which takes us to the destination i like this dude it's kind of badass who's that mr coachella yeah i like this a lot it is it's true
Starting point is 00:50:25 it's like fuck these spoiled kids anybody could just and the guy does it's like Ikea furniture if they didn't label any of that they'd like figure it out
Starting point is 00:50:32 he definitely forgot to label the pieces I'm not gonna lie make your bed without any dude the way the book is laid out it like
Starting point is 00:50:40 he'll have you like work on something boring to build to like a flourish and then you like start over with boring stuff again and then builds to like it's it's symphony it's also this book is is he crying yeah it's also psychological like you know as it is emotional yeah like getting through that process and then going oh i created this little thing and that's one of a thousand things. This huge... Now you see the purpose.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Yeah. Dude, look at the trust. He's got to be an Indian professor somewhere. No, he's just a white guy. I think my brother actually worked with this guy when he graduated law school. His name's... I think his name is Adam...
Starting point is 00:51:19 Brick? No, it's not Adam, but it's Adam. Because it's called. I know. It's me, Adam Brick. I think it's not Adam, but it's Adam. Because it's called. That's what it's called. It's me, Adam Brick. I think he was having fun, yeah. Adam Mini Brick. Beautiful man.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Committed to Legos. Well, we're cheering you on, man. Let's get up. We need updates. I'll try to provide you some updates. I don't know how much you've got to do in the next couple of years, but Jesus Christ, dude. You're not going to get this done by the time you guys wrap. No, there's no way.
Starting point is 00:51:46 You got one week. I'm going to need a couple days for sure. It's tough. And the rest is fucking hedge work and landscaping. What?
Starting point is 00:52:00 Call me. Get me out of the bullpen. There's so much. Maybe it's not gay. Maybe I do have extra string in the garage. There's so much fucking landscaping. What do you mean? That's good though.
Starting point is 00:52:23 How much was that? If you don't mind me asking It was like $100 $300 Yeah I knew it was I knew it was gonna be expensive It's very expensive
Starting point is 00:52:30 It was the most It was the most expensive one $300 The holidays are coming up Fuckface I know But I had to have it What'd you get me for my birthday?
Starting point is 00:52:37 Not even a pet $300 landscaping Gotta go Sandwich baggies I'll let you do the landscaping Yeah he's allowing you to do the landscaping, Tommy. Christ. What do you want for your birthday, Tom? What is that, by the way?
Starting point is 00:52:50 Is that a geek bar, that huge thing? Yeah. Whoa. I want to stop doing that. I want to have an intervention for my You guys both need intervention for your vapes. You guys vape the fuck out. I feel like if there was a family for an intervention coming to my fucking patio.
Starting point is 00:53:05 They'd be like, where do you want to start? Yeah. You want to start in landscaping? You want to build a foundation? Every topic's in green baggies. Like, we'll spread them out. Read it. Read it.
Starting point is 00:53:16 I'm like, cocaine? Not yet. That's bullshit. Not yet. That's a closer. I'll end on that one. That one I really love. It's nice to podcast in person, man.
Starting point is 00:53:31 God damn. It is so much better. We've just been doing Zoom. FaceTime. Or FaceTime, yeah, yeah. I saw clips. They look good. I mean, they look good.
Starting point is 00:53:39 It looks good, but there's nothing like this energy. No, I get it. Yeah, yeah. That's got to kill you. That's why half our fans are like, I'll see you later. Yeah. I'll see you in January.
Starting point is 00:53:49 No, they're hanging strong. Appreciate it, people. Yeah, the dogs that are actually hanging strong. Yeah. Thank you. But I think that is why I was, like, talking about that going somewhere and taking your passport away thing.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Because I think that in order to quit vaping, I think I got to just go away from me. We'd drop you off somewhere. In the woods. You got to go, like, North Korea the woods. We have to drop you off somewhere. You got to go to North Korea or China where it's not possible. You got to be like those girls in the fucking jungle. You can't vape in China.
Starting point is 00:54:12 In China, you have to sit on an egg crate and smoke in the back of a restaurant. You have to have an eye patch, though. Take an egg crate. You're going to be missing your canines. Or just sit on the back of your heels Look at upright frog Yeah dude Yeah What is it
Starting point is 00:54:37 How come they can all do that They don't Everyone's flexible I think because they shit in holes For the last 3,000 years Yeah There's no running water How do they not upgrade that? Yeah, is that it?
Starting point is 00:54:47 I don't know. That's my theory right now. I just said it. Just a plumbing, a straight-up plumbing issue. Plumbing issue. You learn to balance yourself and sit. Fat Americans have bidets to align your stool and your colon. Right.
Starting point is 00:54:59 They already do it, the way they shit like that in a hole. See, that to me feels like another one of those made-up things your assholes below your feet they dig a hole deeper hold no no pole dr. Pope right you get down like this yeah you're all ass i know but they do this with everything where it's just like we involved just cooking like this no but they always go like it's like so they don't allow you to go to china and be like i can't believe they're still shitting in holes like that's crazy they're like no it's actually better for you. How's it better for you? Is it actually better shitting in a hole? It's a clear...
Starting point is 00:55:48 You're moving the bowel. Right? This is my guess. I don't think so. You're not aligning. You're trying to straighten out the shitter. That's why they say you should with the squatty potty.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Right now, we're pinching it and there's a back load. There's no way crunching up into a ball is better for shitting. It's for your colon. If you get a squatty potty or potty squatty, whatever the fuck it is, it's basically some guy created a fucking step stool. The way you lined up physically,
Starting point is 00:56:22 yes, that is better for you to shit. It's less pressure. You don't have to push as much. You're saying when you stand up physically yes that is better for you to to less pressure you don't have to push as much so you're saying like when you stand up your body has like a natural like pinch of poop yeah so i say pinch it off yeah i don't know i just said that i think it's because your butthole closes and pinches it you'd hope yeah it's like a sausage making one of my biggest fears loose butthole yeah oh god i know old guys butthole you gotta be able to give you like a string like a you know for like a raincoat a runner's jacket yeah yeah you just pull these tightens up i've never we've never all the olds
Starting point is 00:56:59 in my family have never had any history of poops or peas uh needing like adult diapers which i'm very happy because they died 50 thank god i'd rather die than wear a fucking adult let's go i'll wear it on my face and shit all over the floor i'll be mr french in the doctor's all by but that you hope so but it's like i don't know irish family it's like they don't tell you what's actually going wrong ever so you don't know yeah no you don't know that's like they don't tell you what's actually going wrong ever, so you don't know. You don't know to clean it up. They don't tell you that they're in diapers right now. No, it's always last minute. They're buying your clothes.
Starting point is 00:57:31 By the way, Aunt Kathy's got stage four. From what? She's had it for years. You didn't know? I'm like, no. I never know about the sickness in my family. It's every one of my mother's conversations now. It starts on the phone. It goes right to one of my mother's conversations now. Yeah. To start on the phone. I know.
Starting point is 00:57:45 It goes right into one of her sisters. Oh. Their mental illness or their dying. Yeah. Did you hear? Yeah, I love what they said. My mom will be like, did you hear? I'm like, obviously I didn't.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Just say what you need to say. I haven't talked to you in like two months. Exactly. Yeah. How would I hear? My mom loves breaking news to me. There's a message board for what's going on in Delco right now? I didn't know Debbie was dead.
Starting point is 00:58:08 You didn't know that? They have the same approach to it like the fucking New York Post. They talk about the most scandalous thing they can think of but it's somehow softened by going like it's terrible. Usually it's softened by my mom not knowing the entire story.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Can you imagine? Just be thankful. My mom will be like, terrible. Usually it's often by my mom not knowing the entire story. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Just be thankful. Oh my god. My mom will be like, did you hear about Aunt Ro doing that? I'll be like, no. What happened? She'll be like, well, I don't know yet. I'm like, why are you calling me with half the story? Come on. Yeah, they're trying to mine for information.
Starting point is 00:58:39 They're just poor real housewives. Can you imagine? It's huge, dude. None of them know the details. Can you imagine? It's huge, dude. None of them know the details. Can you imagine? Can you imagine that? Jesus Christ. Unbelievable. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:58:50 How was your guys' Thanksgiving? It was good. I cooked my dick off. Did you? Where you at, in Austin? Or did you come up here? Austin. It started off with me, my girl, Jamar Neighbors, and his girl, and the baby.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Nice. That was the plan. Oh, no. And then I get in the green room. Jamar's like, it's Aya Tommy. And he's like, playing back. Wearing like a fishnet shirt. Yeah. Sunglasses and shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:15 He's like, Taylor's coming. And I was like, what? He's like, yeah, Taylor's coming tomorrow. And I was like, okay. Who's that? Tomlinson? No, he's a very funny comic. Very sweet guy. Him and his girl like, okay. Who's that? Tomlinson? No, he's a very funny comic. Very sweet guy. Him and his girl apparently were invited.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Okay. To my house. Classic Jamar. I still got to go to Costco. And then I got drunk and invited Dylan Sullivan. Nice. Sweet boy. Nice.
Starting point is 00:59:40 I invited Josh Francis, our producer, because he and his girl were supposed to go to Iowa and it got cancelled so I felt bad more the better for the most part you're talking menu right now I know, I know, but outside of the menu that's a solid crew
Starting point is 00:59:55 and it was a great time I bet it was awesome two racks of lamb two chickens, because fuck turkey I made homely lasagna with crepes batch of sauce Two racks of lamb. Two chickens, because fuck turkey. Yeah. I made homemade lasagna with crepes. Wow. Batch of sauce.
Starting point is 01:00:13 Sweet potato casserole. Green beans. Seven pounds of mashed potatoes. What kind of stuffing did you go? I didn't do stuffing. I don't mind it. My girl bought the stovetop box stuffing to make these spinach balls. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:00:30 What's that? This one died. That's the old one? It's the same camera right as that guy yeah it probably reacted to my spinach ball conversation i'm out no one says that either i'm glad you did say that. Fuck turkey. I'm fucking so tired of turkey. Turkey's so... I don't mind. I like turkey.
Starting point is 01:01:07 I just don't like... Honestly, Thanksgiving, I could do without it. I'm good. I did a Cornish hen one year. Oh, I love Cornish hen. I've only had it once. Just do any variable. My dad did duck Thanksgiving one year.
Starting point is 01:01:20 It was great. But it's... What's the difference between a Cornish hen and a regular hen? I guess it's smaller. I think it's more like it's only this big. So if you're cooking for a small amount of people,
Starting point is 01:01:34 it's crazy. Are you in this frame? No. You want to scoot over? I'm close enough. I actually am in this frame. It was great. Timing of everything. You know you gotta temper the meat everything has
Starting point is 01:01:49 to cook and i only have one oven yeah obviously and only so much stove stops space and i didn't do too much homemade cranberry sauce uh so you're just trying to nail all this shit i got up at like 10 they came over at like five non-onstop. All the way to 8. Damn. Seriously. Fucking 10 hours straight of cooking. Oh, you were cooking till 8? Yeah. While they were even still there. Yeah, I couldn't. I had to keep going.
Starting point is 01:02:15 I love Thanksgiving Day, though. I used to love that during the day. My mom and dad, my mom would downstairs cook and it'd be the best. I used to love Thanksgiving Day. This is my theory on turkey. Thanksgiving Day is so wonderful as a child. Turkey is so nostalgic. Just fills your belly. It's good.
Starting point is 01:02:32 It's good. It's sufficient. Suffice. Then you get older and you go, oh, this isn't good. It's just nostalgia. We just had enough. It's like, all right.
Starting point is 01:02:44 You can exchange that. I'm not defacing Turkey Day. Well, the chicken is not an American animal. That's the problem. Oh, is that it? I think so, yeah. The turkey is American.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Is the chicken from South America? No, I think it's from Asia. Oh, yeah. Isn't that weird? Is that why shit's... Fuck, I had a good one. Yeah. I had a good one.
Starting point is 01:03:14 I never even thought about this. I didn't know that. I think turkeys are native to America. That makes sense. Fucking Maryland. Pretty sure, yeah. That's so funny. America gets turkeys.
Starting point is 01:03:27 We're going to head out on that fucking hot note. Yeah. How was your Thanksgiving? What did you do? I went to Detroit and had Thanksgiving with my girl's family.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Her parents live in Detroit? Her family's from Detroit. They live in Ohio. So everyone went to Detroit to hang out. So that was very fun. Nice. And then I went to New York and hung out with my family. Got to see a bunch of my buddies were in town.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Oh, good. Yeah. We had a little after Thanksgiving Saturday thing that was fun. What did you do, Brian? We jumped around a lot. We didn't have to do too much. Oh, man. Thankfully... Because Kylo's family is so big. Dude, they were literally
Starting point is 01:04:10 having their Thanksgiving at White Marsh. Like, the entire White Marsh. What? Whoa. They're like two guests below name tags at this point. If you put the foxes and her mom's side together, you're talking 2,000 people. She has eight sisters.
Starting point is 01:04:26 They have fucking 20 kids apiece. Yeah, but you don't sit down and eat dinner with those people. You would think. They're extended family. Dude, it's you. One thing about her family, who I love her family.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Yeah, but the problem is they're rich as shit who puts it on like that. So they get like catered stuff. And it's, dude. It's not the same. Catered Thanksgiving is gross. Yeah, it's not the same catered thanksgiving is gross yeah it is it is gross i don't fucking that's rich people bullshit dude i need homemade
Starting point is 01:04:51 maybe a little burnt yeah not that good the food milk tastes a little off yeah you know juice the milk in the fridge you find like a basement or a separate room to get into some trouble. The line of the bathroom is jammed up. Oh, dude. I used to love a basement. Just 30 cousins having a shit in the same half bath on the first floor. Always one or two of my cousins come up behind me in a chair just grinding by the shoulders. That's when you know it's like, let's take a walk. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Yep. What are you doing? Come here. Yeah. All right. Yeah, dude. We're doing fucking dust off. He's doing blow off.
Starting point is 01:05:28 I would love to be whipped up for Thanksgiving. He's coming out whipped up. All right. Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks, guys. We're at Merry Christmas at this point.

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