Stuff Island - Brown Noise - Stuff Island #241

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND New customers get 15% off with code STUFFISLAND at http://takeultra.com #UltraPouches #ad Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, welcome back. You can say hi to me when I walked in. Welcome back. I hope you get to that fucking level. Return from New York City. The return. You know, we're just working for so many years so you just, you have to pretend on camera.

What do you mean? And you fucking hate each other. I want to get to that level. There's no working relationship. It sounds like you're there. Sounds like you're there. He's grumpus. It just drained half my fucking blood, dude.

I didn't know it was going to be an annual. I told the doc, I was like, Jesus Christ, I'm getting blood work done. He's like, yeah, I was like, yo. Not a good week. Not a good week. Where did they pull it from? She tried this one, but I didn't drink any water in the morning, and then she had to go to this one and fire off.

Didn't give you a little bandage? Yeah, took it off. You ripped it all? You got to keep it out. You got protective coating, dude. No, that's attention. They put a little neosporin on there for you. No, they didn't.

No. They have to. It was by law. fucking gold teeth. And she just stabbed you? Yes. She stabbed me. She said this one was blowing bubbles.

I was like, try the other one. Usually nurses like compliment. So much booze in the system, it breaks the machine. That's the first thing I told the doc. I was like, oh, fuck. Well, you know, I wanted to come in here and show off after last year's results. I wanted to get out. Last year?

Yeah. No. Well, last year I did the blood work for the first time in a long time. Yeah. You know, you see your fucking. ASL, A-R-T or whatever the fuck it is, the two liver enzymes, blasting off the space like that gay movie we just watched. And he's like, no, you're fine.

But this is, yeah, that New York trip was fun, man. Yeah, it was a good time. New York City. New York City, who knew? Who knew? It was a great place. Who knew? It was a wonderful, wonderful little hamlet.

We miss, I miss. On the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. You know? Yeah. Never saw the ocean. It was nice. We got no ocean time. The rivers.

Huh? Saw the rivers. Yeah. You know? Not enough. Take a lookout. Yeah. The rivers there are.

You see the sound? What? The Hudson's a beautiful river. It's disgusting. It's a beautiful river. The Hudson? It's the most polluted river in the country, isn't it? No, it can't be.

Josh? It can't be. Mississippi's got to be way worse. Mississippi has all that shit flowing into. I think the Hudson's doing all right. It's got nothing but basket weavers on its shores. It's fuel. I think it's the 24th most pop stuff.

Wow. 24th? Yeah. Hudson's beautiful. What's number one? Mississippi. Wait, this is in the country or the world? The Ohio, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're probably shitting in like a bunch of Indians. Doesn't that flow into the Mississippi? They all flow into each other. Yeah, Mississippi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it starts with the Ohio. The Ohio is dumping shit into the Mississippi. That's not like a big...

It's all farmland and stuff like that. It's all the runoff. And I think Ohio is like... They're probably got chemical plants and shit in there just dumping... Yeah, that's what the DuPonts did to Skookle. They just dumped all their fucking chemicals. Yeah. And all the cricks and fucking ponds just got decimated.

Damn. Frogs had like six hours. and four assholes. The Schuyl is, that's a rough one. Scoogle's a shithole. Never seen someone in the Schuylkill River. Dude. Although that's not true.

So funny. Do you know the last time the NFL had the draft in Philadelphia? This might have been like eight years ago. Yeah. And everyone came up just to like party and have a good time. And I saw two dudes like fucking jet skiing, wave running. Oh, yeah. Wave running through the Schuylkill.

It's nuts, dude. That is wild. You get a speck of Scuylkegling. on your top lip, you got a fucking cleft ballot. It's cleft balance. No, the rowers are in there all the time. Yeah, but they're not splashing around. I guess they are splashing.

Yeah, they are splashing and a splashing. Well, they're already fucking... That's a big rowing fight. Yeah. That's a big rowing fight. Yeah. You get to the shore. For that reason. Spaz.

Yeah. Well, you get a couple of pellets. You start chitting your brains out for three weeks. I talk to some of those guys. They would tell me cold mornings. Yeah. Splishing and a splash and someone splashing you, dude. Like, just ice baths?

Like, in March morning. Oh, my God. You fucking lose your goddamn mind. Dude, rowing is hell. Dude, rowing. I don't see. There's no charm in it. There is zero charm in it.

It's worse than track. Those guys get up like farmers. Yeah. Like, they get up at like four and they work out at five. And then they go row. You got a little guy with a microphone. Yeah. Yeah.

The coxswain. Yeah, the coxin. They just put some tiny midget up top yelling at you, calling you a fucking gay. and then giant Norwegians just fucking pump out for two miles, dude. They're all like six four to six eight. They're giant humans.

Yeah. Yeah, you got to be. Because you get a long stroke. I used to go to the, what's the Ivy Run? The Ivy League run. What's it called? Boathouse Row?

Yeah, well, they, no, the regatta. Oh, the Dad Vale. Dadvale. It's just the richest people you can imagine. It's all private schools. Yeah. And everyone's built like fucking, yeah.

Like, you got to afford a bike. Yeah. You got a carbon fiber. Actually, my boy Luke won with Brown University at the, the St. Charles, right? What's the one? Oh, yeah. Is that That's the big one? Yeah, in Boston. Oh, Boston. Oh, Boston. St. Charles? Is it the St. Charles? Is that what it's called? I think it is. Anyway, it's just such a fucking, such a white sport. But yeah, I bled out. And I'm kind of good. I'm goofy right now.

You got low, uh, Blow everything, apparently. I don't know. I got my testosterone tested. How quickly did they let you know? I told him to take some blood for my prostate. Told my ass is clean. And it's nice being honest with a doctor at this age.

You know, just giving them the fucking business, telling them what you're up to. You got to be shaving a little bit off of the truth, though. No. Really? I swear to God. You just tell them exactly what you're doing? Yeah.

There's no way, dude. They would call the police. There's no way. No. A hundred percent. Well, I'm like, I'm not, you're fucking breaking down the volume of shit I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not purposely shaving.

I go, yeah, I'm beating the fuck out of my system for the last, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you've got to keep it vague. Yeah, I'm 46. So what we talk? 30 years of slamming my body against the wall at full speed. That's the way. That's the way, yeah, you got to keep the dust. doctor on his on his toes you know what I mean you got to go in there and you got to go no I haven't

had a drink in no way maybe 10 15 years no way because and then when they look at the blood work and they go really yeah because yeah well then they would require further testing I know but if you you hope that you say that and they go yeah man keep it up yeah that's not how it works yeah you go oh nice I'm fine no because then they would fight There would be an investigation in, like, switching vials. Like, did you get somebody else's vial? He told me you're doing fucking community work at the church. Meanwhile, you're doing dehydrated vodka shots off your nostrils.

No, because I don't want to, I don't want to skew their, you know. That's precisely what you're doing. I want an, no, no, I want them to look at it as though they're looking at the bloodwork of a healthy man. Right, right. You know? Yeah. If they go in there going like this guy, what he told me. Yeah.

Is crazy. Right. So take a good long look. There's got to be something in there. So it's more of a test for him. Yeah. You're like, show me how good of a doctor you are. Can you identify?

Number one, that I was lying. Number two, what I need to do to turn the ship around. Yeah. If he comes in, he goes, I got to be honest, man. You haven't had a drink? Because what I'm looking at? Yeah. It's just good.

the drinks. Yeah, this paper says you're not sharing any drinks. Have you ever bought a drink for somebody else or just drank? Then you know this guy's on his shit. Yeah. Now, he started giving me like hippie bullshit, which I love.

Like, we had a good conversation. He's like, I stopped drinking this this many years ago. He's a pot smoker. He has in. This dude's the man. That's why I travel 40 minutes north to get to this dude. He's the fucking, he's highly rated. he's like he doesn't abide by the rules dude he's got long he doesn't abide by the rules he's got

I want your gun in your badge I mean I mean of like your quintessential I got main shots they're gonna be playing up main street for the next decade I mean I swear chief I Almost caught him. Just a rogue doctor. Well, he's like, he wears whatever he wants.

He's got long fucking curly hair and he's, he's the fucking man, dude. Like if I feel like, you zenish with this dude. Like he gets me in his where like I have to tell the truth. I don't know what it is, dude. He's like a psychiatrist, therapist and doctor all in one. And he puts me on the other like ideas about things. And I'm like, yes, dude. Sign me.

dude. That's so funny. I think I sent up for CarMax. This is literally like, you found the doctor that's willing to give you the answers you want. Yeah. I imagine you walking into literally

like a house that has like, like, those Austin, like lawn ornaments on it. It's got a yellow door. Just a palm reader. No, dude was fucking,

he's legit. I've been there a couple times now. He gives me what I need. A little peace and serenity. Tom, you're going to be all right. A little bit out of it. You're going to be.

all right. Yeah. There's no way that they're not looking at that going I don't know, man. Dude, I told you this last time.

I was like three times the level on one of the enzymes and two times a level like the limit. You know, you're supposed to be between 18 and 60. I was like 180. Yeah.

I called the guy. I was like, dude, what the fuck, dude? Like, is this cirrhosis? And he's like, no. He's like that, none of that matters.

Just drink more water. Try and drink less. Try to drink more water. We got to flush it out. Yeah. Well, for your liver, that's exactly what happens. Your liver and your fucking lungs. You can turn it around.

It's like Steve Jobs, doctor. Don't say that. I got a knock on something. Like I turned into a fucking raising coin. No. Holy Christ. Yeah, because he didn't think his body should get opened up. We need to cut this out.

He didn't die of cancer. He just died of hate. No, yeah. He died of cancer. He died of, he died of, he died of, he died of cancer and hippie bullshit. Yeah. Well, at that point, he would, yeah. I think his cancer was so bad.

He had the start. He had a terminal case of hippie bullshit. Yeah. He did. He fell for it. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, no, if I just do yoga and go for walks, my body will do, take care of it.

It's like, no. Sometimes you need to open a thing up and cut something out. Yeah. That's why you can't get into an iPhone. That's why you, You're like you can't open an iPhone and like change anything. Yeah. Ironically,

you believe in that. You believe the iPhone had a soul. How many millions of people he's killing was at the iPhone? Yeah, yeah. Of cancer. Yeah, well. It's all the radiation. You plug it in right next to your fucking skull every night.

You sleep on it. So you got to be, you got a microwave head, dude. Yeah. Your whole head is microwave. I'm going to have a tumor of the size of God knows what. I wouldn't do it. I would ordinarily just turn it up louder and put it away from me,

but my girl can't handle listening to it. Same. So I got to sleep on a semiconductor. Yeah. My semiconductor is a couch. I put my sound machine up too high. She's like, I can't sleep. Like, well, now I can't fucking sleep.

I'll just go in the other living room. Dude, quiet sound machine. Dude, I was joking about this with soda. It's just like, because he's got the same thing. Yeah. He puts on a sound machine and I think Katie listens to just shit on her phone. She does the same. thing I do. She like sleeps and listens to something on her phone.

That's insane. So it's literally just, we're all sleeping in just a, like, a conversation in like the worst, like, storm of all time. Yeah. Yeah. It's just two people talking about fucking scratching their butts. Well, one is listening to the television. The other one is, yeah, the other one, you're on a channel that doesn't work. Just a fucking old school television doesn't have cable. Dude, every couple. Every couple is sleeping in a tornado with Sam Harris.

Dude, I got this fucking app that's like, I used to just go white noise, but now they, like, colorize it. And each noise has a different... Hertz or something. I don't know what it is. But I've been fucking with brown noise lately. Brown noise.

Brown noise. Brown noise on my app is the perfect toad. I don't know what it is. I go night night quick with brown I yeah what is it softer you wouldn't think right well no white noise

you don't want to make this racial white noise hey man go sleep that over and over is there black noise you play it backwards yeah you can't park there

motherfucker that moshin that mothpah we're we're barreling head first into just a hack bit here but is there black noise I don't know I don't want to hack bit right now. I'm tired of hell. I'm out of blood.

Black noise. I've tried the blue, tried red. White is, you know, is, is that black noise? This is black noise. That's nice.

That is nice. It's very nice. Let me show you my brown. That's a good noise. That's like a river. That's like a deep river. That's real fucking nice. How did they get that one?

If I can find this. brown noise? I tried rain on a lake I woke up to the worst fucking here's brown. Here's pink. Pink is too fuzz. It's too much fuzz. Well, let's see, here's brown noise. I got brown noise for you right here.

That is kind of nice. It's perfect. That is nice. It's perfect. Yeah. Super deep, smooth brown noise. This is, my girl likes just fan. Because you can hear the oscillation. Yeah.

so it's just that and this at the same time everyone's yeah that's everyone is dude I honestly got look I'm fucking weird

and nuts but listening to words as you fall asleep is so crazy to me because it activates not really someone tells you a bedtime story yeah but you're not five same principle

When you're five, you're not following the whole fucking story. When you're older, you're actually listening. I know, but, you know, it's like, it's like putting, it's putting your brain on a track. I think it's the opposite. No, no, no. No, it's putting your brain on a track. You shouldn't be able to.

White noise is, noise is chaos. If you could fall asleep, and you do this every single time and you say you don't, but you fall asleep to movies or leave a movie. And then you go to bed and listen to a podcast. instead of finishing the fucking movie. What's the movie you just made me finish? You left in New York. Well, I was Waterworld, but I just watched that.

I just watched Waterworld. I know Waterworld front to back. I'm going to secretly film you perusing, and I go, don't put on a movie. Please just don't put on a movie. It's already late. You're not going to finish it. I just watch Triangle of sadness.

I stayed up for that whole thing, and you complained about the whole front end, and then it was... That movie sucked. You're being ridiculous. You loved that movie. No, it turned out to be pretty decent, but... I can't believe I...

You were hallowly laughing. Dude, when they're all vomiting on the ship... It's very good. You were screaming. Yeah. You were screaming. Yeah, that was good. That was a decent movie.

And that was the first... You kept going, you know, people need to see this. Shut up. I'll see some weird shit. You're ruining my argument. All right, one out of 50. Oh, bullshit, dude. You loved Waterworld, too.

Waterworld, I was very... I was very surprised. I was very surprised. How decent Waterworld actually is, dude. Waterworld fucking rock. I will say this. I didn't like the end. like it was like really

it was getting up there right yeah it was improving at a rate that I was like this might be a fucking sick movie and then it it yeah yeah it's tough once that guy comes back in yeah yeah yeah it didn't have to

fucking punch what are you doing whatever that guy is oh scary it dwindled way too quick yeah because god damn the pacing of that at first I was like yo why are people sleeping on water We're also like two hours of sleep and 30 beers.

I was fine. My whole liver was water world. Water world rips, dude. And he throws the fishing rod off the boat. Oh man, that was a... Well, you have to eat, don't you? That was a lot. He fucking jumps in there and explodes that fish and throws that hunk of meat on.

Yeah. It's good, man. Waterworld's so good. Is all the negative Hs because of how much money they spent and lost? Yeah, yeah. It was at the time it was the most expensive movie ever made so everyone was like,

boom, most expensive movie ever made, boo, you know? Anytime a movie is the most expensive movie that's ever been made, everyone goes, it sucks. Yeah. Right out of the gate. And then later,

they watch it as kids. It had elements of like, the way I described it was made max on the water and it had... It is. It's 100%. Yeah. If they make another water world

where it's all AI, and they make it more aggressive and violent. Yeah. That's the play. Yeah, you do like... More maxi. Yeah, get more maxi. Christopher Nolan it.

All right, this episode is brought to you by Ultra Pouches. All right, you don't need caffeine to get some energy. Check out Ultra Pouches. Ultra Pouches are designed for mental clarity and enhanced focus. They're nicotine-free, caffeine-free, and keep you going with a blend of beneficial new tropics and vitamins. Ultra Pouches give you a little lift, anytime, anywhere. It's like a nicotine pouch without the side effects. Ultra pouches come in five

great flavors, cool mint, winter green, tropical watermelon, and the all-new blue res. No dizziness, no stomach rumbles, just clean energy, and they taste great. Pick a better habit and see what the buzz is about. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. Stuff Island fans can use code Stuff Island to get 15% off at take ultra.com. That's take ultra-dra.com. That's take ultra-d. for 15% off with code Stuff Island. After you purchase,

they'll ask you where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them Stuff Island sent you. Yeah. Do a Batman begins, but for Waterwood. Yes, dark. Yeah, real fucking dark.

Make it fucking, everyone's a villain. It would be pretty sick. Everyone would love it. It's kind of, isn't that like, Christopher, that's kind of what the Odyssey, it sounds like it is. It's supposed to be. It's just Waterworld.

Yeah. Yeah, it's Christopher Nolan's Waterworld. They're so pretentious. They spent all the time shooting on water and it's all like practical effects and all that stuff. It's got to be hard to make a trailer. The Odyssey trailer is, it's great, gets me a boner.

But like, you don't know anything. It's all visual. It's the fucking director jerking himself off and the cinematographer sucking the comb out of his belly button. Well, I think they assume that we know the story. Yeah, I should read the Odyssey before I have to watch it. The fuck out of here.

I know. I didn't read it in high school when I was supposed to. Did you read the Odyssey? Did you read the Odyssey? Yeah. This is so insane. I said this a few weeks ago.

It's an epic tale. I got to read fucking all quiet on the Western Front in ninth grade. Yeah. Ninth grade summer. Yeah. That is so stupid.

It's honestly though, if you think about yourself. Wait, who now? Yeah. If you think about yourself. You're going to defend this. As an old man. You, and kids were reading like happy go lucky books.

You'd be like, you want to read something? Yeah, true. In ninth grade, you tell a ninth grader to read All Quiet on the Western Front. There's no question. You go, read that fucking book. Yeah. And then come talk to me. The concern there is, there's a cross practice.

There's a conflict of interest. You want them to understand the intensity and brevity of the situation. But as a child, you're still a fucking child. You can't fathom. scenario. I know. So you don't respect the lessons. True. In order to get through high school. Then you just go, now I'm bored of this, because my attention span can't sit in this to understand what these men are going through in these trenches. So then you learn nothing other than I don't want to read. Yeah. I don't want to read. Yeah. So now you've bullied me out of wanting to

read a story that I might understand and might get into reading more. Yeah. I think that's what happened with me. I got fucking bullied out of reading. It was also when you're young, the tough part about books like that is like I literally thought in my head, I was like, wow, thank God we figured out not to do war anymore.

And then two years later. We tried to do it again with Vietnam and that, okay, we learned that we don't do it anymore. Right. But then the government got smart and said, let's just trick these retards into thinking war is necessary. Let's kill our own. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't

See, yeah, it's Lord of the Rings, dude. Yeah. Lord of the Retards. It was Lord of the Rings. It's the U.S. Yeah. We, yeah, we like, we forgot. We forgot how precious.

That's the present. It's the Lord of the Retire. The ring was buried. The ring was buried in the river for a while. And things were nice. Yeah. And Bush went in there. Now the ring's back.

Now the ring, 9-11 was the ring coming back. Bush was Schmeagold. He was picking it up going to get to do anything. It is. Bush is Billbo Baggins Yeah We could be

He's like Oh look He's He got this ring That I really like Oh man Surely nothing bad Can come to that

I was Dude I cried at the doctor's office I watched That reel Of Bennington and Shane Oh yeah So they sat me on that fucking plastic Before I saw my doctor

Yeah she checked my blood pressure My heart rate and all that stuff The paper And I sat on the fucking paper And I just was like All right he's not gonna be here for a while And I was like literally tearing up And the door open I was like

What's up? Yeah what I'm talking You okay? Yeah I was just looking at another Just looking at my future Yeah exactly God Yeah Bennington is the fucking man

He's the fucking man fucking man dude he still he still has my one of my favorite jokes of all time where he's just talking about how fucking crazy new york is yeah that like there was a day he like he fucking went home like you so much crazy shit happens that you just forget and he goes home to his wife and his wife's watching the news and she she's like oh oh my god a crane fell on 35th street He killed eight people. And he goes, oh yeah, yeah, I was there. I ran from that.

He had forgotten that that had happened. Like that had happened in the late morning. And then just through the other shit in the afternoon, had forgotten that he narrowly amissed getting killed by a crane. Oh, man, it's so good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, I was there. I was at that.

I saw those people die. Was it Ian? When we did Ian and Jordan's podcast in New York, they were talking about that documentary maternal instinct. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you watch it? I watched it last night. Holy Christmas, dude.

Yeah, that sounds like a wild one. Oh, my God. That sounds like an extremely wild one. It's so fucking insane. this woman is the craziest bitch I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. Just running that lie forever

and when she had a hysterectomy and she like faked. She just wanted, she was just wanting attention her whole life. Yeah. Post about fake sickness. She had that fucking,

that shit Eminem had that his mom gave her. What's the, where the, Munchstrom? Munchausen by proxy. Yeah. Whether you're convinced you're sick.

Somebody convinces you're sick all the time. Oh, isn't that like a hypochon? where she would fake like she had cancer, she would fake that she had like severe infections and take pictures of her in the hospital and shit. Everything she's ever done is like the craziest bitch shit to do. And she did it,

the entire relationship with this guy, bought like a fucking, she pretended her mother was like an oil tycoon and she was getting, inheriting $8 million. So she started buying all these vehicles for her husband, for the farm. And then it could,

wouldn't pay. Yeah. She was buying vehicles for his mom. Like crazy, insane shit for attention. And then it would all blow up. Yeah. The baby thing was like...

It feels like you should be able to like kind of minority report people like that. Yeah. Well, they tried. The friends did. They like called the police and they were like, look, this lady's going to be a problem. No, they called all the ex-friends. They found out like her,

her like friendship group on Facebook because, Apparently she just, like, isolated when she met this dude. She pretended that she didn't have family that, like, respected her. She didn't have friends, so she met all these new friends through her new guy. And then just hid all the other lies and then created more lies. Whoa. And told people, like, this doesn't make sense. And then she was ordering, like, fake bellies to pretend she was pregnant.

She was getting fucking silicone bellies. Like, you buy a kit? Is it like... Am I telling you too much? Dude, I had a I hooked up with this girl in college And I went over to her house And in her closet

She just went through a breakup And she had a prosthetic belly Oh my God That her ex-boyfriend used to make her wear It was like his kink To fuck her? Yeah Oh my God

Whoa That's like Kind of pedophilia, isn't it? I don't know No, because I If it makes you come thinking that there's a baby in someone's belly, isn't that a little... I think it's more about the woman being pregnant.

I think it's more... If I'm going to play devil's advocate, I think it's more about, like, the sexuality of going, my woman's fertile, and she's having my child that I'm procreating. Yeah. I find pregnant women attractive. 15, 16?

How old? I was like 23. Oh, okay. She probably was 21. And she would put on a silicone fake tummy And he would fuck her Yeah, it was like a plastic The problem with that is it starts sliding around

And you can't You can't believe the lie You'd have to take her in to get like true You know, artistic work done Seal the fucking gaps I don't want to sound Yeah I don't want to sound victim blamy

You know what I mean? Yeah Like holding her But it's just like Isn't it crazy That ass dudes We'll still hang out with a chick After we hear some shit like that

It's like oh yeah That belly's in there From the last guy It fucked me You'll still go Oh yeah Well that's crazy So

Yeah You want to go to the movie You want to watch a doc While you blow me Wait so she It should have you running for that. You should be like, I'm sorry that happened to you.

I don't think we can hang out anymore. That belly should be buried in a yard somewhere. How do you just leave it there? Like an old pair of shoes. I don't know. What if the next guy's into it? You don't want to spend another 30 bucks? Going broke over these goddamn bellies, dude.

They're all different, like, varying levels, like three-month belly, six-month belly, nine-month belly. This is, I found it right. here. How? It just looks like that. Is this the girl? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. They sell my Walmart.

Oh, why? Well, I think they're, they should be, like, heavy. They're supposed to be, like, a weighted vest for girls that are fucking too young. Well, that's, this thing with this, yeah. It's like, wear that. Well, they used to, for, like, 13-year-olds that are fucking flus bags. Too advanced. Yeah, they make them carry around a baby that shit's cries and pisses. Yeah.

They're like, take this kid for a, for a, fucking weak. You think you're, and the baby cries at like three in the morning and this little fucking pot head Latina has to get up and, you know, shake it and feed it and stuff. But it does make sense to have like a heavy weighted belly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's promiscuous.

Right, right, right. Yeah. Just wear that around. It's like, yeah. A deterrent. Imagine how, like, what an all-time backfire. You know what I mean? She loves it.

The guys love it. it. Yeah. And you're like, I never thought this would fucking happen. You're a dad trying to keep your kid. It's like, slow down. Yeah. Be responsible. Put this fucking belly on.

And then this weirdo comes out of nowhere. Yeah. And you're wearing it to chickens and beets. Oh my God, my kink. 15-year-old pregnant. I don't know. I had a friend that got pregnant. I always regret not fucking her while she was pregnant.

Golly. leave. She was like, it's like fucking a midget. I don't. I got questions. I mean, we're having fun.

I got a lot of blood taken out of your blood. That is nuts. Well, yeah, I mean, how often do you think about it? What?

Having sex with a pregnant lady? Yeah. Oh, no. I mean, it's come up on like an algorithm at one point. Like pregnant ladies

like in porn? You know, every now and then, toss something else in there. It's a bummer. That's up there to me. It's 100% a bummer. With two gay guys fucking in the thumbnail.

That's like up there with that. Yeah. How dare you? How dare you? Yeah. Also, it is, it does, if you're a stranger, you go, Jesus. Well, it's a salt.

Yeah. It's a salt on an innocent little, you know, frog in there. Yeah. Just getting knocked around getting fucking CTE. I don't know. I know. I imagine.

It can't. It can't be great. Yeah. What we know about CTE now that even light impacts can affect. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's not the big hits, it's the little ones.

It's the little repetitive hits. Yeah. That's what they say. Offensive linemen, they're not getting cleaned out, but they, you know, that regular contact. Yeah. Rattle in the cage. Yeah, that does it.

Can't rattle the cage of them. Yeah, soccer players doing headers. No, that's nothing. Yeah, they get CTE, man. No, they don't. Yes, they do. Has a soccer player killed himself over CTE? Definitely.

He shoots himself. Maradona. That guy's, it's from cocaine. Crazy. He's got nothing to do. He's got to do something to balance out. You know, he's dealing with the CTE. That dude was doing bumps after goals.

Like on television. You ever seen that? Or he scores like a big goal in like the cup and he runs over to the sideline and celebrate. Some dude pulls a bag out. He does a fucking bump. No way. Oh, it's on camera. Can you look this up?

Maradona does. Maradona does. Maradona doing cocaine at the stadium on the pitch. That's wild. Dude, could you imagine being That guy rules. Yeah. That guy is a cartoon.

Could you imagine being an Argentinian superstar in the 80s? No. The best stuff. Playing in Naples, Italy. The hottest women. The best Coke. It's got to be nuts. Yeah, it's like being a fucking...

That's got to be... Yeah, yeah. That's a tough thing to age out of... It's being a drug dealer in fucking Miami in the 80s. Yeah. That's got to be like a supermodel level come down just like when you start aging

and you lose the athleticism and everyone's like, ooh. But he's such a legend that it's like Yeah, he's all right, yeah. This looks like he knows what he's doing? Team doctor, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a little blood on your nose. Yeah, yeah, he's a tissue.

It's pretty slick. Oh, man, I've done so many quick bumps at like an Eagles gang. You know what I mean? He's pulling a little bag, but he's just toss it around. Just reach down and they're like underneath the back of the seat. Picking up a beer or playing with your shoes.

Just do a little key. Makes the fourth quarter dance. I feel like you're the king of making like... For sure, just chew in the mic. Discrete things more obvious. Get yourself some crunchy pretzels. It's a separate channel. You can delete it.

You can clean that out. No problem. Fucking kid, man. I think it's you. I think you got a, you got a little sensory issue. It is. a medical problem. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't talk to my doctor about it. You didn't? No. Can you look this up? Chewing. Can't. No, just stand hearing other people chew.

Yeah. Tommy gay near me. You swallowed a pretzel for that one, didn't you? Made sure your gullet was clear for that, didn't you? It's a very specific. specific term. It's when loud, loud noises irritate you. Well, that's not a loud noise, that's chewing. No, no, it's not just chewing. There's two things. Lockjaw

and crunching. Slapping your lips, all these things are categorized under one term, one medical term. If you say it, I'll agree. What's it called when chewing? It's not when chewing. It's loud noises. What's it called when chewing bothers you? Misophonia? Yeah. That's it. That's it.

I'm sure you're saying it wrong. You can't pronounce Italian dishes. I have misophonia sounds right. Yeah? Ficonia. Yeah. Whatever. I read the definition.

People with this condition often experience extreme annoyance, anger, or a desperate need to flee when these sounds occur. Slurping, loud swallowing, heavy breathing, or sniffing. Biting forks, slapping your lips, talking while your mouth is full. Keyboards typing, pens clicking, finger tapping? Fine. Finger tapping. Fine.

I can see finger tapping getting under your skin. Fine. No, I'm fine. Sometimes the mere sight of repetitive motions, like fidgeting. Yeah. Yeah, if you're bouncing knee a bunch, send it. You got that one. Put it in there.

You got that one. Erasing heartbeat or muscle tension. You get that. Intense anger, panic, or anxiety. Yeah, dude, you got, you got misophonia. Yeah. My best friend, Cooch has lockjaw. And that always drew will be nuts.

Every time he ate. he ate with manners but he has his jaw that like unhinges and has his snap it's like a like a yeah yeah

that kind of stuff can get me too like a weird joint thing yeah I mean seeing someone's like knee get broken or something like that yeah it's like this I feel like if every time I chew listen

oh my god yeah yeah that's how you choose yeah what sounds like your foot's breaking if you chewed on the couch while we're watching

a movie and you if you did that if you did that that's you now because chewing is natural yeah but you keep your mouth closed I'm good with you chewing chewing is natural that's not true I've eaten pretzels with my mouth closed and you've spent you eat like a monster that's not true that's not true

I've been eating with my mouth fully closed now you eat passionately which I respect yeah yeah but there's a lot of audio in it yeah well what are we doing my father gave me this Yeah, why hide it?

The way I said it was like, I was going to show you like a pendant. My father gave me this. No, he gave me this disability. Well, yeah, you can get it. I can see how you can get it. It was handed down. It was like transitive property. Yeah, yeah.

He abused me. Because if someone's freaking out about it, yeah. If someone's freaking out about it, then you're going to freak out about it. Dude, am I kidding you? I used to suck on hard pretzels on the couch when we were watching like cheers. something and I would suck it and let it soak and then chew it when he would lose his mind no no no no I would let it settle oh because you didn't want to crunch yeah I would I'd soften it up let the saliva breach yeah see now that sounds disgusting I know but that's also now why I love sucking on the

ex-marinating a pretzel in your saliva suck it on like an extra dark pretzel and then throwing a pop it in like a fucking extra sharp cheddar yeah Yeah, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Also, how great was the food this week, guys? Yeah, yeah, it was unbelievable. We had some good cooks. We got six or seven episodes of look at this in.

Jordan Jensen, Ian Finance, Mark Norman, Rosebud Baker, Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kelly. Yeah. And then we did one with the Somme, Ben. Clay's buddy. Yeah, Ben Hano. It was unbelievable.

Great week of cooking. Great week of Wrangling fucking maniacs. It was. It was a good dude. And couldn't have asked for a better just week in New York. Yeah. Weather was beautiful. We were walking around, bouncing around.

But even that was nice. I thought so too. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was like the city took a bath for us. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it hopped in the shower.

It did. It hopped in the shower when we arrived. Took the vinegar off the nuts. It was nice. Cleaned itself up. Yeah. It is nice to see a hard pour in rain in New York. Just knowing it's cleaning some stuff.

Heavy rain, dude. Getting that fucking human shit off the sidewalk. It's great. Right. Gosh. Flush it down. It was a big, it was a big wash, too. Street through.

It's so nice to go back. I love New York. Yeah, it's a nice place. Beautiful city. We should do L.A. next month or the month after. Yeah. I'll do a week out there. Bang some out.

Yeah, get another round. Get another round. Get another round going. Oh, God. I got to pee. I drank a lot of water way, way late while I was waiting to get my blood done. Yeah. I drank like seven cups of fucking grailers.

grape bear and it didn't hit me till after so here i am you you can cut all this i just have to piss i'm gonna fucking get up what did you drink what did you drink just water oh yeah a shit little water you say grape air my first drink huh grape air did you say great bear great bear what's that that's a fucking it's a nice cooler brand been around for 30 years i've never heard of it you heard of it it's like igloo grape bear great bear you got a giant fucking computer system in front of you want to use your hands? Great bear. Did they make coolers?

Josh, Josh. Remember Josh biting on me over the week? What do you mean? He came back at me. He got real upset. Well, you're the king of sass, dude. You're the king of sass. It's a good bit.

It's a good bit. I got to be honest. Well, you're thinking of polar bear? Is that what you're thinking of? I think it's called great bear. No results for Great Bear. Is it polar bear? No, it's Polar Springs.

Are you talking about water? Water cooler. Yeah, the big jugs you flip upside down. Great bear. Water cooler. Right? Great Bear Natural Spring. I don't know.

I'm not seeing it. I'm not seeing it. I don't know what's going on. How about passengers? What a movie. What a movie. What's that? The movie we just watched.

Oh, that movie sucked. I don't know. It was close. I saw five minutes of it. It's close to being good. I could tell by the ending, it wasn't good. I would have loved. There's always movies like that.

There was no love. There was no love. There was no affection. There was no... It wasn't real. Well, it's a movie. I know, but you're shooting out over the course of what, three to six months? You feel like there wasn't a lot of chemistry between you.

Nothing. No chemistry. I feel like it might... Acting was dog shit. They didn't really feel like it. like they were fucking dying. It wasn't, you know, they didn't feel like it was futile.

Yeah, I think there might have been a chemistry issue. You gotta go deep to get that emotion out as an actor. It's true. I do it every night without the camera on. I die in the mirror brushing my teeth. This is it. The on-screen chemistry of the 2016 sci-fi romance passengers between Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Batt

is one of Hollywood's most debated pairings. Debated what? It's one of the most debated parings. So are you confirming? Their on-screen spark wasn't enough to distract from a fatally flawed controversial storyline. So it's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah.

Yeah, no, you're right. I watched 10 minutes. That was it. There was a lack of chemistry. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Who's he with? It seems like, this seems like,

coming from like a loved one of an actor going, Do not. Do not look at her in the eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do not perform the way you should? Yes. I'm going to lose you. Yes.

You're going to smack around those big fat heaters. It definitely could have been. There was, yeah. Or on the woman's side, you know, a jealous man. But I don't think she's with anybody. She won't call me back. I have no idea what she's up to. We're still doing movie reviews now?

Well, no. I was just talking about passengers. I wanted to see, like, you know, because they... The amount. you consume is crazy. What do you mean? Just how you would... I consume the same you do.

You watch murder docs. Yeah, yeah, true. Maybe I'd rather... I'd rather just put on another 48, the first 48, you know? Yeah. Because that at least is a little bit of reality that I know I'll be...

It's sufficient in terms of feeling something. Whereas if I watch a movie that I have no idea, is it well-rated? is it something that interests me in line of like what I'm interested in? Otherwise, I just feel robbed of two and a half hours. Yeah, but it's like those murder docs, you know, they do the same thing for me where you start to go, all right, all right, all right. So then you go, why don't I watch, even if it's a piece of shit, why don't I watch

something that people tried to make good? You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's probably the negative feeling I get because of like how many millions of dollars wanted that, that piece of shit? that trash Build bubbles So homeless people can fucking sleep Take that 300 million

And put bubbles outside of restaurants True, true Build some beds You should build the actual ship they were on Just get some beds Get some passengers Get some real passengers going That's been a thing I've been seeing on Twitter

What? Like, you know All these billionaires And like if they just took Yeah 10% of their purse How they could change So much

Yet dumb Yeah, we're getting close. The philanthropy is all dog shit apparently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even people that are just trying to offload millions of dollars, it's for their own tax purposes. Yeah, you get... And they're not really putting in anywhere.

It feels like we're getting close to, you know, these guys got to chill, dude. They're also... I think they're saving up or something else, dude. They got a chill. For departure. People are, you know, ropes are being weaved.

You know what I mean? Geotines are being sharpened. You think the public has had... enough. You think we're going to roll? We're getting close. We're getting close, you know? We couldn't even attack them if we wanted to. No, we could. With what? I don't know. We'd find something. We just all meet up at a 7-Eleven and just start running. Yeah, yeah, people get together. Can't get past the gate. I fucking get the cable guy to cut the internet access. One of us is going to be a cable

guy. He's going to know how to cut the access. He's going to be a cable guy. He's going to be electrician in the group. You know, you just start cutting things. It's going to be a welder. That's an elite squad. Yeah. An uprising, an uprising will have one of everything. Yeah, yeah.

If each platoon, you'll be like hell let loose. Each platoon is going to have an electrician. This is where the hippie doctor comes in, dude. You got to have to have a hippie doctor because regular doctors, like Jew doctors and Indian doctors, they're not going to be with the people because they're doing well. They don't, they might. I don't know. No uprising.

They might come around. Nah. The Jews and Indians are just going to, they're going to sit in their pool, hide from the fires. Dude, look, you got, you, the people start turning on you. You can't, it's hard to move around. You get airplane mechanics. You know what I mean? You get a couple people going, I don't really feel like doing my job today.

Yeah. What are you going to do by? And their cozy little world starts falling. My cozy little world starts falling apart. When's the last time I walkout really worked at like a high level? Well, you can't walk out. You gotta...

No, I mean for like... Beyond walkout. We're beyond signs and street marches. You gotta stop... You gotta start clipping people. I don't know, dude. You get on the fucking green line,

right? The 4-5-6 in New York running down the Wall Street. You put a bunch of fatties on the fucking tracks. Stop that train? Where are you going? Where are you going? No, but that's the people's...

Six o'clock in the morning? That's the people's transatl That's a lot of fucking money. I'm telling you need to get to the helipad and fucking, you know what I mean? Ding the rotors up a little bit. You got to cut the gas lines. Yeah, yeah. They don't travel the way we travel.

True. You got to. Yeah, but the minions do. So the minions make their money as well. So you got to cut the source. That's the gas line, four, five, six. That's a gas line for these billionaires. No, no, no, no, no.

Nobody's making money on trains, dude. The stock. you got to cut down the stock market yeah but you can't do that's you know that's like crappy Batman's shit you got to you gotta just get in there make it personal Josh keep an eye out for

email from the FBI to Stuff Island telling us we cannot talk about things like this you gotta start going hey I actually do have a lot of power you know what I mean you're a fucking Elon Musk's chauffeur

you're like I could take this car anywhere. You could take it right off a bridge if I wanted to. Dude, what's his name? He sacrificed himself in passengers. You know, these are the kind of lessons you got to take. Yeah. Even that was kind of fucking...

It's not like Armageddon, dude. Armageddon made you feel something. Yeah, Armageddon... In terms of futility, like, that scene in Armageddon, you're like, he is giving up everything. And Liv Tyler, her fucking tears and pain. I know, dude.

But it's also the power of a custom-made song. Yeah. Yeah. Don't want to close my eyes. Don't want to fall asleep because I'll miss you, and I don't want to miss it.

That song reminds me more of Team America than Armageddon. It sounds like a Muppet making fun of the movie. Don't want to miss you, man. Don't want to miss you. Oh, Christ. That's the kind of stuff. Yeah, music is... That's the kind of stuff that gets you rocking.

Music is powerful. Yeah. It would be fun to cut all the music out of these movies and rewatch them. Dude, Armageddon without that song. I just want nothing but dialogue. Yeah. I don't want to hear any music. I want to see how I feel with just dialogue.

Yeah. It's like a test for... Oh, sorry. He's fucking yawning. I thought this is a very... He's sleepy, dude. He's sleeping. He's having fucking seven pretzels a second.

Dude, breaded up. He's breaded up. It's full breaded up. These dice are a blender for dough. Mine are too. Mine are too. That's fucking mousers of food processor. He's always munching, dude.

He's always getting cows in. Yeah, he's got a much. It's fucking insane. He's got a, he needs a vehicle for the dust he eats. Yeah, that's true. He's always bumped up. You are, you are like, yeah. You are ahead of the curve.

We'll find out soon. You're like, you're nothing but bread and space food. Dude, NASA ice cream and bread. Yeah. When the revolution starts. We're all going to be like, I can't eat this crap. You're going to be like, this is, I'm right where I need to be. I've been training for this.

I can live off dust. I've been eating dust for 20 years. Dusting flour. I am perfectly built. Two different forms of dust. Damn. I got to start getting into the dust. Do you try it yet?

You ever get bucked up? No. Dude, it's fucking nice. I saw you guys get bucked up. in that hotel and in Philly. That was genuinely scared. Yeah.

Yeah, I was rip-roar. That was like one of the one of the most shocking drug experiences I've seen in my life. What? Yeah.

Oh, dude. You guys went from totally normal like kind of sleeping to like cook. Yeah. Doing workouts in the room. It works. Just trying to get the energy out.

One cup bucked up. It's fucking legit. How many scoops you do? You did like three. Yeah. It's Chi and C Coke, dude. It's legit.

That shit's nuts. A nice little stimulant. Yeah. You're gonna find out what's going on with your kids. Kidneys. Yeah. With the dust? Yeah, the dust can't be good for the kidneys.

I don't know. I don't think it... It's not good for the heart. I think it's... Well, fucked up. Of course. But it's settling. You got like a layer of mud,

the bottom of pond. It's been there that... This is a fear I have. Yeah. I do have the sphere. You got a puddle of mud. You got a puddle a buck, dude. You got a buck puddle in your fucking kidneys.

Dude, when I first started taking it, though, I used to get really bad. I used to, like, fuck up my stomach. Like, I would, like, have diarrhea, and then it stopped. And now I kind of think it's, like, built up some type of immunity. Yeah, like, I think there might be something blocking the sludge. Yeah. Like, you're talking about. I do.

I have had this fear that there was, like, a layer. You love fucked up so much, you powered through. I just, like, it's like a nice, yeah. That's what it feels. I don't know. It's like a stimulant that I like. Damn. When I was vaping too much, I started getting nausea to when I would like drink like a

seltzer or something and everything felt like it was coming back up like a burp. And I threw up like a like a gummy bear pellet that was like the width of my trachea. And it was just nothing but like truly a gummy bear. Jeez. I literally stepped on it because I was like I didn't eat yet. I didn't need anything I had one cider at like 5 p.m and the adjutant was so bad

I had to throw up because of the acid Oh yeah acid build up And I puked this fucking disc That I would buy if they had more in a bag Like it looked great It looked like It looked like a perfect gummy That I would get in like a Japanese candy store

And I like stepped on it It became like a jellyfish And it was like that thing was just cooking in there. Just waiting for the exit. Yeah. Like Chris Pratt in that fucking movie. Just getting thrown down the hole. It was. That was your throat with a shield.

Waiting to get puked up. So, yeah. Your kidneys are fucked. You like the stoke, though. You're after the stoke. Yeah. It's chasing the hide. It's a dragon. Yeah. But you're also, you like to be stoked. Yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to let me know. I feel like.

This is where rugby shirts, dude. I know. I don't think this boy likes the stoke? No, that's to keep the stoke in. He's, he's, yeah, he's got a really difficult relationship with the stoke. A stoke retention. Like, you should have been in, like, extreme sports, I think. Like, skateboarding or like, I mean, he went to the Marines.

I know, I know, I know, I know, because he didn't know where to find the stokes. He didn't know where to find the stoke. No, I just think, I don't know, I used to take it a lot of. of Vivance when I was in college. I don't want to do that anymore. Prescribed it? No. You just took Vivant?

Yeah, my roommate used to have them. What is Vivantz? It's like Adderall. Nerdcoke. Oh, okay. Any type of. And it worked so well. Yeah, yeah.

It's okay. I like it. It's not the same. No, I think, dude. I take it for like Notre Dame and Eagles games. That's all I do. Yeah. I got prescribed for it because it like it helps certain minds,

like focus. Yeah, dude. I think I had like a friend that had him and I studied for a test once and I crushed it. Yeah. And I just never took it again. But like, yeah, I think it definitely works.

Yeah. I think it's all genetics. It's how your mind is made up and how it affects you. Some people it gets high. Some people just let's focus. True people that need it for ADHD. Meanwhile, all these doctors are just fucking

Yeah. It's like oxies in the fucking 90s. Is Vance back? for your kidneys? I'm sure. I'm sure it's bad for something. I mean, it's a, yeah, I mean, it's a stimulant.

It's got, it doesn't say. Maybe I should start taking that. It's like the government control. It's a limitless pill. It is a limitless pill. So they're not going to, outside of misuse, they're not going to show you

how negative it is for you because they want to make money off it. It can, it can, it can cause heart problem. Stimates can cause sudden death stroke and heart attacks and people with predatory. give this to a fucking 15-year-old kid.

They're going to be flying. They're going to take it all the way through 25 where they get fingered in a fucking dorm. They feel a certain way. 25 getting fingered in a dorm? Well, they're dumb. They're taking a couple extra years. Or they're getting their masters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're becoming doctors. Well, the ones that use it correctly, yeah. The Indians and the Jews that are not going to build something with us during the revolution. All right. Focus.

We're going to hold you. Hold on. Did you ever promote the voice line we have? Did we do that yet? I know, but for the Patreon. Tell them now. If you go to patreon.com slash Stuff Island, we have a link that you can call in and leave a voicemail

and ask questions and advice. And Chris and Tommy will answer. Is that number like pinned to the... You know it? Yeah, I do... Oh, let me pull it up. Or maybe you can just post it. We can say it right now.

Do we want to keep it Patreon exclusive? Oh, Patreon exclusive. Yes, I'm sorry. Well, the answers are Patreon exclusive. The number. That's a good point. Oh my God. For anyone.

His voicemails gonna be bananas. Numbers for anyone. No, it's Patreon exclusive because we want people that... On the Patreon exclusively...

Yeah, we want to answer their questions first. All right. Fair enough. Oh, let's do that now. We're gonna do it for the next hour, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got some questions still.

Yeah, check out the Patreon. We're going to answer some questions. All right, sick. Patreon.com slash stuff island. Thank you guys. See you later. Yep.