Stuff Island - Burning Man - Stuff Island #247

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code STUFFISLAND You will also receive an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit https://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, start. One. I was trying to avoid the Dune talk. No, Dune. Dune's back. Rewatch Dune. Dune's better than the Odyssey by a million miles. Oh, dude. I saw the, yeah, you posted a clip about the Odyssey. Very divided. You know, it's a...

Very divided. You know, you're pissing people off when it only has like 400 likes and then 5,000 comments. Yeah, yeah. Just a bunch of people going, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah. And people being mad being like, you didn't know, you didn't read the book. Yeah. No. Yeah. No.

I'm sorry. That's not an excuse. If there's a scene that's confusing because I didn't read the book before, then you've failed me. Yeah. You know? Yeah, let's not get back into the fucking honesty. I'll do now. Until I see it myself. No, I watched the clip and I was like, oh, this is kind of funny. This is funny. Yeah. And then I then like for some reason four hours later I like looked at some of the comments and I was like, all right, now I'm pissed off.

Yeah, dude. That's your problem. Now I'm picked off. Let's see how many people agree with me. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That was the that I got tricked. I got tricked.

That's your fault. I got tricked. It was thinking they're all going to be like, Chris, I'm with you. It was a full bait and switch because the first comment was like 100% of. agree, like, couldn't be more right. And I was like, okay. I'll just, I'll bathe. I'll luxuriate my genius for a bit.

Yeah. The next fall we're like, you're retarded. It was like, every week this guy gets dumber. He's like, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, dude. That's what they want. They wouldn't plant that fucking negative seed directly in your forehead, dude.

It works every time. Yeah. 60 great comics one dude's like I've never found this guy funny at all I know I'm gonna fight my girl dude it is it's the layers layers of hell because you'll get hit with one out of the

out of the gate that's actually like somewhat even handed you're like yeah I get it but it was good you're like okay all right they're being reasonable in here you ever talking about killing yourself because you're so fucking stupid oh what a week

we had a nice weekend again Charleston? Yeah, Charleston, South Carolina. Beautiful, sunny Charleston, South Carolina. What a town. It is a nice town, dude. It's one of the whites. Shout out Wits' End, by the way, the comedy club there.

It's a great little club. Yeah. Yeah. I've never been. You should go. I should go. She's do a nice little weekend. I want to go back there and do a fishing trip for Look at Dish with the Roughhouse

Boys. Yeah. We got a boat invite to go out there. Yeah, I want to walk the beach, collect some sharks' teeth, so they say you can get a lot of sharks' teeth down there. they dredge the bed you can get fucking yeah yeah they said they find like magalladon teeth no yeah yeah right me yeah megaladone megaladone i said magaladon he's like it's a megaladone he's like mcaladon maybe where you're from i think mgaladon megaladon megaladon was in the

honesty clearly like they clearly named it just mega fish yeah and i was like i think it's mcaldon yeah i'm gonna fancy this up no it's a it's a weird fucking town i mean i'd love to live there but you know it's like a bachelor capital all the white people look the same it's extremely white yeah you know yeah yeah yeah which i don't mind i i was gonna it's crazy normally that upsets me but it's a nice break normally that kind of stuff would really tick me off yeah something about what they're doing down there yeah i like not going through security security guards when I walk into

a made well men's I like my deodor not being locked up in a CBS see I don't I want I want the stuff like what I meant I like human interaction you know what I mean I want to if I want to get some shampoo I want to buzz yeah oh do you you're fucking insane I want to see who works there

let me tell you who doesn't want interaction the person who wants to ring the buzz or answer the buzz that's like they're busy on boxing they got you have to do. Yeah. They always come out. I like to spread joy.

You know what I mean? Joy. Okay. Yeah. I like to go around. That's what you see on their face. So I buzz the shampoo and I, and I, I know they're probably having a rough one. Yeah.

You see them coming around the corner. Yeah. Their spines off kilter. They're fucking, their janitor keys are jingling. They got fucking peanut butter on their forehead. They're like, which one do you want? So just the old spice. Not that one that, the one that were right, the one that were right.

One with Andy Persburn. What? You're just like, give me the fuck. This one. Give me the fucking deodorant. No, I like to pick it out and go, no, this actually wasn't what it was it. And have them open up, slide open another pain. Yeah. That's what I like. Yeah, you like to start your day going on.

I'm going to start a workplace shooting today. I'm going to go hit the buzzer in CBS five times. No, and then I compliment the selection. Yeah, because that's what he's doing. He's curating the deodorant selection. Yeah, you got a hell of a selection in here. It's tough to find the right one. want you do the inventory here walter

don't go anywhere i got shaving gel yeah yeah you got to follow me this way he's just got a basket of shit he's like sir i got a job well now you're my personal assistant because you locked everything up that would be nuts that'd be so sick to buzz hand them the basket

and go here we go this way i got a lot of stuff i need When you finally get one, you lock in. Dude, anytime I have to buzz. Stuff, you don't even just fill up a whole basket. There's only two people working there. I forgot my card. You could, you could, if we all bated together, we could just seize up.

Oh, yeah. Like every CVS. Just get five dudes in there hitting buzzers. Yeah, yeah. And just tying people up. Spread them out. Yeah, yeah. Tying people up.

Everyone's forgotten their cards. You got to make that front line snake around. He got to run out and start going down in the aisle. Never make a purchase. Oh, dude. Never make a purchase. Just have their employees filling up baskets. DeWain Rine in, fucking, in Queens was like that.

Every time there was a snake. Yeah. And they had like two people working. One guy's on the buzzer all the time. Yeah. And there's an old Indian lady count and change for whatever fucking mongrel's using a wallet. Oh, yeah. There's no quick beep.

Dude. That way, that's it drive me nuts. We don't have quarters. The fucking, the CVS in Queens Yeah. Also had like, there were paper bags that were incapable of holding anything. Anything. A single item.

Yeah. You'd get a bag. They'd put something in it. You'd pick it up and it would just tear. Yeah. And you go, I can't get another bag. And you see this young kid putting fucking 50 dumbbells in a tiny bag. I'm like, you got a double bagger to get another bag.

He's like, yeah, good point. Maybe my favorite part of shopping for Look at this is Tommy's face watching the bag, the bagging. Yeah, because it's absurd. It's like, it's fucking grocery one-on-one. They show you how to bag. You keep produce separate. You don't slam heavy things on top of fucking delicates. Yeah.

You know, you can't start eggs in the bottom. Just putting a gallon of the bottom. Fucking moron. Jesus. You eat with your hands, you fucking ape. Did no one ever show you this? But you still? you still because you feel like it's it's rude to like you kind of want to let them finish.

Oh no, fuck that. I'm in there. No, I get my hands dirty. I watch you wait. I watch you wait. I wait to see him fuck up. And then I grab up and I go, no, no, let's put this here.

Let's put this there. I'm a fucking dad over his shoulder. I know, but you hold off. You like, let me see if they can maybe they undo it on their own. Yeah. I bring my own duffel from Stratford. I got like a heavy duty duffel. I got my own bag now, like a lesbian.

I bring my own fucking shopping bags. Oh, dude. well that was a big mistake. What do you mean? It's a big mistake. It's fucking unbelievable. I mean, do you want to talk about the trip

to Charleston, the bag you took? Which one? The big leather one. The what? Oh. You have my carry on? That's not like he's had a back injury. No, no, no, no.

Where the wheels go? Huh? Where are the wheels go? There's no wheels. I don't need wheels. You need wheels. If my fucking back works, I don't need wheels.

The rest of that trip was, the rest of that flight was a disaster with that bag. Yeah. Because we had to fucking, It's a beautiful bag. It's a beautiful. It's gorgeous.

It's one of the prettiest male transportation bags I feel like that was a hit. You have to put mail in there. As far as men's luggage guys. It could be you to sense. It's a very nice caramel leather bag. Yeah.

It's a man's... It's the most expensive bag I ever. It's pure leather. It's pure leather. It's pure leather. From Tacote. You know the leather shop down here? It's unusual.

A boot and hat shop? It's unused. On Congress, I've never been to Kovas? You bought wedding shoes there, you fucking monkey. He's not giving me anything. I know you're actually talking to me. I'm scared of Lover! I thought you were just kind of stream.

You didn't remember the layover they had to learn. I thought he was stream of consciousness. I didn't have a fucking, this is the first time I had to layover in a long time. I forgot how terrible it is. And you go to Atlanta, you think you got time. You forget the hour switch. Layover or not. You got to get on a fucking terminal.

You got to get on a tram car to get to a, different terminal. And that takes all your... You had a back injury too. I had a huge back injury. So I had to carry it over my fucking head. I had to put the weight balance on my shoulders. So I'm walking around with a fucking 50 pound leather bag.

Disaster. I overpacked because I got, of course, my girl goes to New York to fly with Shane direct to Charleston. So she's like, can you put this shit in there? So that's another fucking 10 pounds of heels for one night. Dude. I should have wore all my heaviest gear and then packed with all the light shit. Dude, you got to just go roller bags. You got a roller bag, dude.

She took the roller bag. We went over this. Why are you doing this on camera? Then you go get a new one, dude. I got three roller bags, one of each size. You know, they can all fit. There's one that's checkable. You're saying you had more than one.

Or one that's not checkable, and then two that you have to check. I didn't want to check a bag. It's a three-day trip. I agree. I didn't have a roller. And a back injury. You always got to have two rollers. Two checkable rollers.

You can't get anything in them. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Dude, the leather bag is unused. It's gorgeous. That's fucking, you're so stupid. There's no question. It's unusable.

It's unusable. That's because you're still running around. You know what I had the sweetest, the icing on the cake was we were put up in a fancy hotel and we were leaving. And the lady working the counter rolled my bag and she goes, oh my God. Who made this bag? She was like, I've rolled, I've rolled all kinds of luggage. Oh, yeah, you're going to talk about how nice your bag is? Dude, it's not nice.

I know it's not. Because she goes, who makes it? And I said, she's trying to get $5.00 at you. And I had to go, travel pro. I go, it's not a sexy name, but it's the best bag. It's $50 on Amazon. Best bag in the business, dude. That zipper explodes.

No, it doesn't. Dude, I've had that bag for. 12 years. That's because you put two pairs of shorts in a dirty pair of sneakers. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because you got a backpack on, too. I load that thing up. I load that thing up. You're still traveling with backpacks. You're 40 years old, 42 years old.

That is, I, you know what? You gotta stop wearing a backpack. If I have a soft underbelly, it's the backpack. You want to wound me, you can hit me with the backpack. Here's the difference. I brought a laptop on every single trip. And never used one. I've opened it maybe twice. I do the same day.

I'll bring a 30-pound backpack And never crack it, dude It used to be worse I had like every conceivable Technical thing in there It was because it was the days Where I was cheating on my employer Yeah

Oh you had the login Yeah yeah where I was like working So I would bring like hard I had backpack for hard drives And fucking all kinds of cables And the heavier like older laptop And it was just like This was my life

My umbilical cord to employment Yeah Was this thing and so I've never been able to get over. Yeah, years of lying to myself. Putting a fucking laptop in like two books. I'm going to bring two books in case I get bored of one. I'm not reading one of those books and I'm not cracking that fucking laptop.

I'm just bringing it for a little security thinking I'm going to do some. The layers of lying. I would even do a thing where I would have... I should call the inserts for like your luggage. You're like, this is your lying layer. You can put technology or books in here that you're never going to. open, secure. Because those books, they talk to you from the overhead bin.

Oh, 100%. They talk to you from the overhead. Get off Instagram. Read me. Read me. And then I would order a whiskey and be like, it's fun to drink and read. I'll be like, what did I just read for a hour? Reading a book drunk is impossible.

Yeah. I just had to rewatch Game of Thrones. The new Game of Thrones. Had to? Yeah, when I got home, because I watched it on. the plane. Blitz. I was like,

I don't remember anything that happened. Oh, yeah. I saw the recap. I was like, nah, I didn't see that one. Then I,

it would come in like sparse to be like, oh, I remember that scene. I remember that scene. I read it back, yeah, you remember it like a dream. Yeah,

there was a dragon. Someone got their dick cut off. But I don't know why. I don't know why that happened. No, as far as the white people and, Charleston, I met they're all like, they're all the same in the South.

Yeah. And that's true South. Charleson is true South. Like all the kids have the same haircuts. They all wear the same pastels. Yeah. The women all have the fucking pearly earrings and they all look the same and they're running shit. They're cute. They're very adorable girls and I guess the guys too, but

it's like you feel like you've been on the same block. It's like rewatching an episode Game of Thrones. But I get why people would like, you know, go there. Like if you're a girl or you're a and you're looking for a specific type of girl or guy, it's like going to, you know, you're going to find one. You know what I mean? If you're looking for the like classic southern boat man.

Yeah, go to Alabama. You're going to go right there. Yeah. No, you go right to Charleston and you can just, it's like, it's like someone's like we just had a litter of labs. You know what I mean? You go down there, you go, I'm looking for a lab. They are a litter of labs.

I'm going to find one. It's going to be the cutest. exactly what I'm looking for. You got to look at their energy. You see which one is like a little out of whack. Dude. I don't like how this one jumps on me so much. Yeah.

If you want like a dude deck out like pastels, that's it, dude, short length khaki shorts, loafers with high socks. It's like, go there. They've bred thousands of. It's so funny. The white college kids are Labradors. It's just a labrador

Camel. No, you got to worry because there's a lot of inbreeding. It's puppy, you know, their hips give out at a certain point. You got to worry about it. It is a South.

You got to worry about you go, oh man, the genetics are a little fucked up but they're, you know. Yeah. They're beautiful in the outside. This girl's eyes

are a little too close together. I tell you that. Yeah. Food was great. Weather was great. Food was great. Shout out Campbell, looking it up.

Yeah. Cammy. Shut out the Campbell, man. He did hook it up. We got some fucking... How about that fucking... The cone? Caviar cones sent me.

I've never been a big caviar guy. I haven't really had it that much, but Gal... Mars got me into it now. Caviar with a little crem fresh in the bottom and a tiny little ice cream cone. You knock your socks off. Yeah. I ate it sideways so it didn't look like a gliz. Now you got a...

Yeah, you gotta suck that dick down, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that is that's probably a good date trick if you want to know if the girl can like deep throat or something Jesus I mean the cones only Jesus this big the kind of

level of filth on this podcast you're talking about deep throat caviar is about as classy I said Jesus to the caviar not the girl choke that bitch down I don't care That's not big enough I also don't believe in that gliss shit That shit's so gay

I mean obviously Like making a joke of how you eat a hot dog I'm smoking that thing and then No one's changing the way I eat a fucking hot dog Well he did it the gayest way impossible Which is no condiments That is gay Yeah

Yeah What do you tell? That's the manliest way No no no no You guys need the lube for it I'll scarf it down hole dude No, I just go- We want to hide the penis. Yeah.

We're covering the, the look of the penis and turning into a classic American staple food. You're going, I want it to eat. You're like, I don't even really like the bun.

Yeah. I just suck on the wiener. I just want this straight dog. Yeah, I can see you just suck in the lungs. I want my tongue to feel the skin. Dude. Yeah.

Yeah. The nice snap. When it hits those fucking dice. Yeah, dude. No, you guys are, you guys are like. sprucing it up, which is gayer. No, no, no. It's like slapping it on your face.

No, it's disguising it. It's disguising it. You're putting a wig on it. You're putting a wig on it. Yeah, it's putting a hat on a hat. No, no, no. No, no. Yeah, also like the, it's too much beef or pork. Like, you got to cut that with some acidity. Yeah. The mustard. The mustard does it. Ketchup's crazy.

I don't fuck with ketchup on a dog. straight mustard cheese if if i put ketchup if i please no i grow like the look of the red and the yellow we girl dogs on vacation close as you get to an american flag yeah is it why the meat's blue it's a dog dude you you put a yellow line like this and a red line like this yeah it's american yeah oh you do squigglys for both oh you got you do wapo like a fence of course yeah yeah you need them to yeah intertwine yeah yeah Double helix. Yeah, I like that.

See, I think the condiments on the very exposed beef part is crazy to me. Because you want to spin it after that. If you want for the visuals, you got to spin it and get it into the bread. Because otherwise it just gets on your stash and your lips and your teeth. All right. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Right. Make everyday hump day with Blue Chewold.

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Visit BluTru.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. All right. This episode is also brought to you by Cash App. cash app. It's the best way to, you know, send money, receive money, you know, if you're going out to dinner with your friends, you're sharing the meals. Yeah, there's a lot of, there's a lot of times you go out to dinner, especially in New York

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Sutton Debit Flex card, Bank Corp debit flex card, Cash App, Green Features, Savings, Direct Deposit, Roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App, a Block Inc brand. Visit Cash.com. slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Back to the app. I open the bread a bit and then do a line of spicy brown or...

Right, right, right, right. You gutter it. You put it in the gutters. I gutter it. Also, dude, I cook dogs. The way I really like a hot dog, I fucking slice them. You like it that way, which is nice.

butterfly it. I like a butterfly. Because I want the majority of it to get to get really cooked. When I was going through my heaviest hot dog phase, I butterflied it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Everyone's had somewhere where they go, I'm eating nothing but burgers and dogs. And this

is, this goes against the grain here, but I toast the outside of the bowl, the roll. Because the crunch comes from the outside. You want the consistency to be different on the outside. I think that's a brilliant move. Inside, you can can if you want, but I like that stuff I like the condiment that gets sucked into the roll a bit. Unless you're sitting out for a long time.

Toasting the inside doesn't do anything. You're not feeling that crunch. Right. You're really just finishing the cook on the bread. Yeah. Put a piece of Cooper Sharp after you cook and burn the corners. A cheese dog? Oh, baby.

Cooper Sharp on a fucking fillet dick. Then you toast the outside of the bun. A little bit of spicy brown. Yeah. Hoo! I'm going to have a fucking glitz this weekend. We're going to temporary at Tampa Bay Race game. Oh yeah

You gotta... At the joke world. I mean, standard ballpark experience. Dick. Bag of nuts and dick. Pause,

bro. But, he ain't no face down, ass up. You got to get dick and nuts. You got to get a bag of nuts and a fucking dick. Put some monster on it. A tall one with a big head.

Yeah. An ice cold tall one. Yeah. A nice head on it. With some cum top. I want some foam on top of a fucking nice cold beer. A dick and a bag of nuts. I swear to God, a camera hits me.

I'm doing them all. In circulation. I'm doing the gayest cycle of all time. Crack a couple nuts. Suck the fucking dog down. Yeah, the guy has been salty. A bag of salted nuts. I want my nuts like they just got a fucking dog down.

It's like they just got off a run. Running along the beach. That's the way you have to do it. That's just a nice day at the ballpark. Yeah, I'm excited to go to Joke World this weekend. It's going to be fun, man. The beach there is fucking beautiful. I'm going to spend a couple hours playing waterball.

Yeah. Me and Nick Murph, probably going to toss a pill. I'm going to buy it. I'm going to steal a football from CVS there. The lines are too long. Nobody cares. It's a nice time I was in Florida with Bobby Kelly. Big J and Shane.

You should buy some cleats. Jesus. Go to the local high school. Just run around on the field. No. That sounds terrible. No, that's nice.

You're fucking next to a beach. Why am I going to go run on a high school field? You go to the beach after. No. I'm conserving my energy for the fucking beach. No, dude. Where do you feel your feet? The cleats in that turf.

It does sound good, but I'm not going to do it. Can't beat it. Can't beat it. It's not fun for anybody else. What are you going to knock on a hungover comic store going, you want to go buy some cleats and run on a college field. They'll all throw up right in your face.

You're sponsored fat mongoloids, hands on the door naked. No, no. When people are like, you're coming out tonight, you've got to get to bed early. Yeah. Tomorrow's workout. Okay. Yeah, you got to practice. I'm doing sprints.

Yeah. It's throwing up hot dog meat all over a fucking nice high school turf. That shit never comes out, dude. Just eating a fat lineman, just smelling hot dog. And where's that coming from? Starving. Dude, you know what you should do is. you should walk around with an umbrella.

Oh, like an Asian. Yeah, yeah. Protect yourself from the sun. Never, bro. That'd be sick. I might start rocking a parasol. I'm all about getting another tan. I'm going to get another base tan.

I'm going to get the parasol again. You need a parasol. You should just get one of those funny fucking umbrella hats. Yeah, that's like off your head. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It has like the rice paddy. Flying bustresses.

Oh, no. Go full jack, dude. No. You got to go full jack. Now, I want the multicolored umbrella hat. Yeah, that like sits on you like a visor. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Because you get a little airflow through it too. It's nuts how practical those things are. I look at them and I go. Chris is such a fucking gearhead. Yeah, I go. That's got to work perfect. We were on a plane yesterday. We're all having a good time.

There's four of us. Me, Shane, Chris, and fucking Gardini having a nice conversation. This banana heads in his own fucking world. What are he doing? He's like, just searching backpacks. Just looking at backpacks. he's a tech guru he's always spending money on tech

that he doesn't need why and I was like I was just thinking the same thing what what got me here well I was yeah it was a pretty good ad for a backpack had a bunch of nice little like pockets and stuff in it pockets for laptops

and then I was going yeah like what what do I really want out of a backpack you know did you ever stop to think yeah you know or you just start putting what the backpack world told you Told you to put it in there. Well, you're the cart before the horse here.

You have no reason to have a backpack of that quality. You're not fucking hiking. I know. So what are you going to do with it? Take it to the mothership? No, it was one of those hybrid like hiking like school bags. Right. Well, you do neither of those things.

Because it was a back to school sale. It was a back to school sale. And it got me. It knew exactly what to feed me. Yeah. It's about a $400 bag and some crayons. They were on sale, too. I had to get the crayons.

Now if it had like a nice, nice like Zin holder. Yeah. A sleeve. Well, any of the pockets could be for anything. Now, you need it with the right shape. A knife. Yeah.

36 pack of magnums for this hot dog lover. I was thinking about that. I was thinking about like I got, I got to get, I got to really start like trying to start wearing condoms again. I got to spice it up. Yeah, yeah, just to change. Yeah. Just change is good.

Too much comfort. Yeah. It's too much comfort. Yeah. What do they call that? And then they're like stress maxing or whatever or like fucking... You purposely do bad things for you stuff? You purposely do the hardest thing.

That's your whole life, dude. I've never seen you take the shortcut anywhere, bro. Yeah. You might have to start getting into like shooting guns or something. Yeah? Yeah. Is that what you want to do? I think.

I don't know. What do you mean? I was just watching a couple guys like, there's two pals and they're shooting. I'm not going to a gun range with you. They had a, they had like a little stand, right? With like little plates on either side of it

and you hit one, it would swing around on the other way. And they were like, they were having a battle. Yeah. Yeah. To hit the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What's that thing called? A tether ball. Tether. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was tetherball. Yeah. With like sniper rifles.

Yeah. Does it. swing and stop on one side? How does it stop with the power? It always, it swings back and forth. It swings and locks in. No, now, now, now. Swings and locks.

Yeah, you have to get all. There's like eight of them and you have to get them all to one side. Ah. Yeah. So they were going back and forth, you know. Yeah. That is kind of cool. It was great.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. And then you get to have all those like gun conversations with people. Yeah. Which I also have noticed a very popular online. Do you want to have gun conversations? What do you, what do you carry?

Yeah. Yeah, I want to be able to answer that. God. Horrendous. I want to get really specific on what I carry. Just seeing some fucking hard-o Navy SEAL talking about his attachments on a fucking a gun he doesn't use.

Right. Yeah, I want to have one of those conversations. Yeah. I want to be deep in that world. Retired SEALs are, they're tough because they're either the coolest dudes in the world or the biggest fucking Hardo's that won't shut the fuck up and try.

Everyone's trying to make a book out of their career. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's got to be hard not to. Yeah, after what you've been through, but you better come with a fucking story. Yeah.

Not that just you and your friends are the baddest dudes on the planet, which is sick. It is. Don't get me wrong. It's pretty sick. It's pretty sick. The Navy SEALs are fucking sick as hell. Yeah.

But it seems like, you know, after that one dude who apparently killed Osama, and he did his, his, you know, celebrity tour. Yeah. Then there's like a whole other pile of them coming out. Half of people don't even believe that he did it.

I know. Right? They argue about who did it. Yeah. Yeah, which is I like that I like that I mean I like the seals getting stirred up

Yeah yeah I like that that's happening But it seems very silly I like a little in seal fighting Yeah There's probably a guy just out of bar Who actually did it Just going

Yeah Guy stinks Yeah I would never stoop so low To talk about it It's betrayed the whole organization We upset in you Josh You want to write a book

About your military experience yeah it wouldn't be good yeah just jerking off in tanks it'd be one chapter it would be the whole book yeah yeah so there I was you're probably wondering how I got here it's me Craig yeah no you got to make that like a very

like high level like sort of intellectual experience yeah was that jacking off in tanks so much you know what's that what did they really train us to do what's that hippie festival in the sand where all the gays go? Burning Man. Burning Man.

I watched Burning Man documentary on HBO. Oh, boy. I know. I thought about jerking off in a tank. Oh, my shit. Yeah, they run out of hot dogs down there. I'll tell you that. That's one of those things.

That's where, yeah, you go down there and you take your little mushrooms. Yeah. The trip you go on is you realize you're just jacking off in a tank. Yeah. for real. Yeah. And not even like a, not even an armored military tank.

I did just, I will say the way it was done. I went there just to see. I went there just to see like, it's cool because they, they did it right where it goes from like the production side first, like how much effort and money goes into this and how much time for the people that are actually putting the shit together.

And then they drop into a couple weirdos, natural. you know, being on Wildwood's Boardwalker, you're watching these fucking clowns. Yeah. Get nuts and wear stupid shit. But they have this one guy who was a vet, this old black dude.

Yeah. And I don't know how they got these guys to cover. And it's fucking awesome. Just an older black dude in the mountains of like Virginia or something. And his neighbor invited him. And they followed him around. The entire festival is his first time ever. And he's just experiencing like the wonders of it.

And then he kind of had like PTSD. from from his war in the Middle East like with all the fire and the smoke and like he was like really dealing with trauma that he's been hiding and it was a beautiful story. Whoa. And by the end of it he's like wearing like a fucking two to do and fucking but he's just like he wasn't doing it in a corner way

he was just like I'll do whatever I'll play along and he's like hugging strangers. There is like a that's the other sniper hitting the thing and swinging around the other way. It's the lesbian going I got you first. You got to put this on. You're about to have more PSD in the opposite direction. You're not going to be able to walk into a Spencer's gift for years.

No, but it really was well done. I got to say. Good news is we're filming it. We're putting it on everywhere. Oh, dude. I was thinking the same fucking thing. Him going back to his VFW in the middle of Virginia. Yeah, man, what the hell happened to you?

You know that experience? No one's supposed to see. You're supposed to take back and just let it change you? Well. You're going to wear it. Yeah. It's on HBO. You signed the wrong doc, pal.

No, you had a good time. You went back to next year. And he met friends. It was kind of beautiful. There is a charm in it. I get it. It's like anything where, like, I think you have to find your circle.

If you get one tent, it's just your boys. You can control your drugs, you know? Knock around one of these fucking, these AIDS patients and then have a good night, you know? Go see a carnival, truck come by. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

It's got its charm. And I think it's a good idea for a documentary because it's nonstop fun. Even if you're not getting good footage, it's visually stunning at every fucking move. Did it feel like it was very much a sales piece for Burning Man? Or was anyone like, stinks?

I think, no, no. I think they, well, they covered the difficulties of going through COVID and the shutdown. And then people were just like, we're doing it anyway. So there was people like trying to get it done.

And the funding is crazy. money. Yeah, yeah. So we're thinking about closing it one year and then there was like a lot of backlash on that and then I don't think it's like it's ever going to have an issue outside of that. Like the people are like rabid. Rabid. And if you go, I think like the, what do you call it when you secure the next generation,

the procurement or fucking, just the numbers continue to go up because the experience apparently is just wonderful even if you're not into that stuff. It's like, oh, I get it. I'm coming back. It sells itself, is what I'm saying. People want to get away for a little bit. They want to get away, and it's such a unique wonderful. I'm talking shit.

I think I'm going to try it one year. Yeah, just do it. You know, just don't dress like a space. I'd love to see you in it. I'm sorry. But you know what I mean? No, you got some dudes just dressed like Dune, and some dudes are dressed like fairies.

Yeah. And it's like, your gear. I'll just go to you, Chris. I'm like, give me some of your fucking hiking gear. Oh yeah. You need goggles in that back flap that you wear, which is, you know. True. Some of my outfits are not far off.

Yeah. They're not. Yeah. You're locked in for fucking neon green. Yeah. Sun hoodie. Yeah. American flag shorts.

Yeah. It's close. You're blocking sandstorms. Yeah. You got all the fucking headwear. Oh, I would love to get those like Mad Max goggles. They're all wearing them. Yeah.

You kind of need them. And then it rains and people are trying to leave. They get stuck in this fucking mud clay, whatever it is. Yeah. It comes like quick sand. everyone's trying to shit and piss everywhere It's kind of fun to watch Has anyone built like an elevated tent situation

So they don't have to deal with the mud No No I don't think anyone can predict the storms That are coming in there In the desert They ship so quickly I know but you got to fucking

You build off the You know what I mean Yeah That would be Yeah And make a little moat No no no You just you know you anchor it

You build like an elevated deck kind of situation I love this idea Tent on top of that elevated deck you make a moat so no fucking weirdos can just jump in your tent true and you have to you have a drawbridge to let people in i know just the total opposite vibe of what they want yeah yes yeah yeah you got to be political set up area 51 inside the well that was another part of the dock barbed wire fence where they have uh like procurement not procurement um they have these like these trailers that are like it's like going camping and having an indoor they're just

They're looked down upon because they're not doing it right. They're not setting up their own tents. They're not living in the elements. They have like chefs and private beds. And it's just, they look down upon that because it's not part of the experience. Right. So they try and kick them out. Yeah, good.

Yeah, the heads of like the tourist and ticketing and stuff, they go around looking for these third parties to boot them. Because they sell these third party experiences for like $100,000 for the weekend. where you have full access, private bathrooms, a chef. Yeah, yeah. A comfortable bed and all that shit. So fucking... The hardos don't like that.

The ones with herpes are like, get that the fuck out of here. Burning man has ice. Yeah. Yes, yes. They have ice. Burning ice. Yeah. They go around.

You're like, yeah, you're not from here. You're not part of this. You're not one of us. Yeah. Yeah. You can build this. Yeah. A third party built.

The government built it for you. You got to eat my girl. friend's harriest muff to get through this if you want true that's the citizenship test yeah you need your whole face that's to smell like a hot dog day too you have to eat a sweaty muff you know nothing's clean down there man do you know what i mean they're just running around in 120 degree fucking fucking weather i know that part appeals to me i of course it does you're fucking disgusting yeah just getting nasty taking off a fucking just wet pair of shorts after a workout yeah yeah yeah that's the receipt for the working day.

Oh, you don't think I went to the gym? Come here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come here, come here, come here, come here, a little swipe. Yeah. Yeah, when it smells a little bit like a fart. Hot dog water? It smells, yeah.

You go, that's, I was really pushing. Yeah. Yeah. I did, uh, inclined walking after my workout. God. To really get the juice. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the leg press, dude. The leg press will get the, uh, I don't know, man. I don't know, man.

I've done so many, I'm just so turned off by that shit unless it's like my girl and there's a tiny bit of scent. I like the armpit. Yeah. The crotch area. You got a wet wipe. You got to take a bird bath in a fucking bathroom. I used to do that when I was in my 20s before I'd go home with a woman.

I'd take a bird bath right in their sink, you know? Yeah. Lather up. Just, just your packer. See, that would make me nervous. Yeah, that would make me nervous. where it's just like, you know, if it smells like their soap

down there, they're gonna be like, do you just wash your dick in my sink? Yeah, thank you. If a girl's vagina smells like soap, I'm like, wow, she fucking cares about her hygiene. Right. You know? She smells like burning, man. I'm fucking running. Because then I'll be burning, man. That's nice. That's good stuff.

Thank you, bro. It's undeniable. That's undeniably good. It's the gayest joke I've told today. That is undeniably good So let's go next year That's what I'm saying Yeah I do always check out When is Burning Man

I don't know We do a burning man Look at this It's got to be in the winter Right If it's in the desert I don't think it is Spring

I also don't think it matters What's a drop like 20 degrees No though That's the thing The desert drops like 50 No I mean like from the difference in heat Oh yeah August 30th

Until September 7th That's right in the fucking muck of it Yeah, it's end of summer. It's Labor Day. That's what they're doing. Before all their fucking hippie kids, I have to get back to school. They're all homeschooled anyway. I looked into it.

Yeah. No, I have no idea. No, I bet that's true. I bet the percentage of people who are homeschooled at Burning Man is... I'm starting to look into homeschool myself. I agree with it these days. No. You know?

No, you got to send your kid into the muck. I don't know, dude. I've been hearing a lot of shit. I've been getting some feedback about, yeah. Yeah, that's the thing about... That's the thing about homeschool is... Because fucking, there's been teachings that they don't approve of. And it has nothing to do with school.

There's, like, athletic programs that some of our friends are in with their kids. They don't like it. And they're getting taught by some fucking weirdo saying, like, pick your race and pick your age. You can do it or your sex. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. And that comes back home. You go, what the fuck?

This is football. I'm talking to my kid about fucking, whether he wants to be a lady or not. Yeah. Jesus Christ. You know what I'm saying? You got to be able to have those conversations with your kid. Of course. But when they're fucking seven and eight years old,

they look up to some person, they think that's like, you know, that's my mentor, that's my coach. He told me I could be a lady tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. I mean, come on. I can get a whole new outfit. If your kid's that susceptible,

you got other problems. Yeah, well, it doesn't mean they have to be. How many kids are getting flipped on that? One's too many. One's just right. You need one. You go. See?

You listen to your father. Collins, Colleen now. We didn't want this either. Go cut the lawn, yeah? You didn't cut the lawn now? Yeah, it's coming for you. You want to put a mom's heels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, it did it all these video games. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I think us at Burning Man would be very funny. Yeah, it'd be great. I mean, the juxtaposition.

I could see you get... I couldn't do it all week. No. No, you do two days. Get down there and be like, we're leaving? Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, you do it on purpose. You get there at the very last two to three days.

So you can't stay in case you really like you. No, no. I think you mean someone special. No, dude, you can't. You don't want to go the last couple days when everyone's, figured everything out. You know what I mean? Oh yeah.

And everyone's running out of supplies. Yeah. You don't want to go in there. Yeah, you might not be the guy to go with. You're going to get all military and shit. You mean defend my stash? Yeah, you're going to have like canteens of like dried ice cream. Like space ice cream and shit.

Well, yeah, dipping dots. It's not dipping dots. It's the ice cream in the future. I hate that there's a knockoff dipping dots. It really pissed me off. What do you mean? There's a knockoff. There's a fucking second brand.

Because obviously, I thought that was like, you know, lock and key. Dippin Dots figured out first. Yeah, that's got to be patent. Throw these little balls in the nitrous oxide or whatever the fuck it is. Is that what they do? I imagine. It's just a nitrogen. How do they make Dippin Dots?

It's probably a nitrogen bath. It's definitely got like some weird seal on the ice cream that's terrible for you. Well, they deep freeze it at a temperature that's impossible to do without nitrogen. That's what I'm, that's my guess. I don't think so. I think it's, I think it's. You think it's cold blood? Last, how do you separate the pellets?

Some edible container. They have to be dropped in and separate and get cord immediately so they don't melt together. Cryogenic liquid nitrogen. There it is. Whoa. It flash freezes, tiny droplets and instant spherical beads of ice cream on contact. Whoa. Good for you, Tom.

Yeah. That's what? And then that just takes forever to undo. Yeah. Well, it takes a long time. Until you put it in your 98 degree mouth. Right, right. They're going to separate and keep their own thing.

It's like the way processed foods. Like, look what we did with the brownie look at dish we just did. The difference between the pellets as opposed to the Swiss chocolate bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said that had like a little lining on it. Yeah, because they have to coat them in some products so they don't stick together and melt. So they cook differently. I thought they were doing with Dipandots.

Dipidots just get deep freeze. They get the cream. They cryogenically freeze it. They drop them out of, I imagine a machine where to, go, all separately so that when they hit the nitrogen, immediately frozen,

and then when they collect them, they're all separate. I'd love to go to that factor. That'd be sick. They have to storm in negative 40 degree Fahrenheit to 50 degree Fahrenheit to prevent them from melting that standard freezer temperatures.

So they drop in the nitrogen, they probably package it, lit it, seal it into the fucking negative 40. Yeah, they have to transport it and like special trucks. This is like the most expensive. expensive ice cream of all time. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, the truck can't be economic. This is crazy. No, no. Even those meat trucks have to be so expensive to refrigerate. Yeah. You know, taking like half-bouchered cows and shit to butchers, steakhouses.

You know, like the Irishman, you know? When he opens the fucking thing, there's half cows. Yeah, you can keep back, like, relatively cold and be fine. You don't need to keep that. Freezer. Cryogenic. No, of course not. Negative 40.

They never got dipping dots into grocery stores. I guess that was always the problem. I don't think I had to. No, they did. Do you want Shart-Ten? Diffin Dots is going away. Well, they can't store it. No, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah. But that's how you get the kids. Dippin dots is going away. Lest they sold to another company, which is probably owned by like Coca-Cola, or fucking Johnson and Johnson. Maybe, yeah. Then they start putting sex change drugs in the fucking Dippin-Dotts.

This is really got you animated, huh? I'm trying to do something with it. it. It's just today. It's Monday. Trans kids in sports. Yeah. It's all the Dippin' Dots.

Let me ask you something. You're going to homeschool your kids. Yeah. Mr. Johnson. They don't find out about trans people. So your son's been acting weird. Have you fed them Dippin' dots? The number one way to make them trans.

Yeah. Is you teaching him. Trans counselor. I'm just hired to come through the school every now and then. Yeah. Give speeches. Like I survived 9-11, but it's just me telling them to stay away from transsexualization. School would be from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.

And you go, you figure it out. Yeah. Email me if you have any more questions. Just get out there on the town. See what's going on. Email. Jesus Christ. How old is this guy?

I don't know how we got there. But check. got the doc it's fun i found a new fucking serial killer doc on uh what do you got peacock oh you're going off brother i have to you're going off the reservation i've consumed

so fucking much it's crazy peacock's getting into the game yeah peacock's fucking in the game dude it's so nice more like poop vagina I fucking hate you it's called death row confidential secrets of a serial killer Whoa.

So it covers this Wop who went to prison for killing four ladies but it turns out he's on death row he confides in one other dude and tells him you know there's like 20 other women so he would sit with him

and like remember all the notes and then go like all the stories and then immediately go back to his cell because solitary confinement in death row. Yeah. And then write down exactly what he said. And then he compiled the list over the course of so many months. And then looked out for this one...

Is this what the movie or the TV show Blackbird is about? Didn't that guy go in on death row and, like, get that guy to confess to all these other murders and then, like, give it to the sets? I mean, that's happened before, like, many times where they finally, like, say to a cellmate, you know, I killed this one, too. And then the cellmate wants a reduced sentence going, like, what can you give me? You know, can you get me commissary fucking points? I'll tell you right now, this guy buried this bitch in a fucking a park by this cemetery. You know, that happens all the time. I just don't know if this specific...

Let me get his name real quick. Death Row Confidential Secrets of a Suitor. I can't decide whether that's the best or the lamest undercover work that you can possibly... I don't know, man. It looks fucking cool. It's about this dude. It follows retired... It was such a bummer to get back to your cell and not remember.

Like he told me, but I can't. I can't remember what he said. These guys are, you know, they're sober for fucking 30 years. You know what I mean? Their brains are sharp. I don't know if that would do it. It follows retired... Because you've got to act casual.

I'm going to read this real quick. All right, all right. Let her rip. It follows retired detective Ken Mainz and death row inmate Bill Nguera. They investigate convicted serial killer Joseph Nassau, who confessed to his cellmate details of more than 20 unsolved murders. The show details how Nassau, who originally was convicted of murdering four women can fight it in Nagara while at San Quentin. Ngaro kept 300 pages of detailed notes on Nassau's crimes, which he later handed over to Mains.

Mains uses this information to, alongside law enforcement, to attempt to close cold cases and bring closure of the victim's families. So this guy's away on death row for four of these women, but there's another 20 unsolved cold cases where this guy is a retired detective, retired undercover FBI agent. And he like meticulously takes this guy's notes, goes to the town. I've only seen half of the first episode, but it opens up like a fucking banger. Damn. It's got like an 8 rating. It's like,

dude, it's good. I don't know how Peacock does the ratings. Huh? I don't know how Peacock does the ratings. They just have family and friends log in. Family and friends are whoever owns the documentary. There's like three people. But yeah, this guy's supposed to be like one of the most prolific serial killers ever.

And this is showing you like how many are actually out there that like, nobody knows about it. The guy wasn't a fucking, what do you call him? Songbirds? What do you call him in prison? He never opened his fucking mouth in anything. He took the four murders and he's like, fuck you. I'm dead anyway.

And then told it's just some guy? It all came from a probation knock. Right? So this guy was on probation before he went away for these murders. Okay. They just randomly knocked on his door. The guy was living like fucking the silence of the lambs. His house was fucking disgusting.

Yeah, yeah. Had all these like perverted like dolls and lingerie. with like nooses around their neck hanging up but for like decorations and then he found he's got to be like you kind of caught me at a bad time yeah bro don't answer the door

yeah yeah then they found a key to a safe I'm sorry to give this away but this is what starts it this is the first first like 20 minutes they found a key to a safe and in that safe they found all these documents and cut out newspaper articles because that's how these fucking animals behave

to get off and the newspaper articles on the on the back of that they would see the pictures of said that only he would know like this is the picture of the girl that was eventually buried in this location okay and then he had another note of 10 where would say number one and then he would identify where the girl was from and where she is so this guy put down 10 locations everything's in this locked-away box and then with all of the newspaper clippings for him to get off on. Damn, see, this guy's memory wasn't that good.

Who's? Well, the guy that killed those ladies. Why? Because he had it right down? Yeah. Well, he wrote it down for sexual pleasure. That's what they get off on. You think he was jacking off to it?

Yeah, 100%. A hundred percent. That's why all those little keepsakes, they'll steal a keychain from a girl they murder and they'll just beat off all over it. Right. You don't jack off from memory? I'm sure a little bit of that, too.

That's the best way to do it. Remember the sweet, sweet times. That's what I would say is the detective. I'd be like, what did you forget? It is nice beating off from memory every now and then, right? Because you have so much access to the greatest stuff on your phone. And you go, you know what? Let's take a trip.

Yeah, yeah. Let's close my eyes and take a trip. It's like reading a book. You get to write the scenes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, you're not really. You're watching the movie.

You're not recreating. In your head, yeah. Yeah. You're not doing something to her that you haven't yet done. Is that what you're doing, you fucking weirdo? Yeah, if you're, if you're doing it for memory. You'll take an experience. Nothing crazy, but you go right instead of left.

You know what I mean? So you'll change your sexual experience with said memory for your own pleasure. You'll say, oh, no. Yeah. She only gave me a blowjob, but in this memory, we start fucking here and it's different. Yeah. It's like a sports memory. You know what I mean?

We're like, I should have like inside rolled instead of going. you know yeah it is it's not that different uh no again you're not making major changes i stick to the you're not like in the in the in the sports fantasy you're not fucking six feet tall you're just still you but you know you know if i just if i actually set this up this way or if i if i passed instead of trying to shoot yeah you know what i mean what would i what would have what happened you know what i mean and then you go wow there's such a fine line wow you know i'm sure Between a great memory and a difficult memory. I know, it's nothing weird.

You're making it weird. I am not. I stick to the script. I go, wow. Yeah, yeah. I just take a time. You change nothing. I time travel.

Yeah, and I see that sexual experience. You change nothing. I play whack-a-mole. You just, yeah, play the truth. You roll the tape. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm passing a lie detector test.

All right. I ate her ass. She didn't like it. And then you come to that? That's weird. Now, that is weird. I did. I did.

I did something. She didn't like it. Yeah, but then I continue. Then you continue to what? You change it up. Yeah, you get back to the next scene. Another, another clip, another clip, different clip. Yeah, yeah.

You go to the next episode. Skip to the next chapter. Yeah, yeah. Next chapter's gray. Oh, I did something she didn't like again. Skip again. All of a sudden on episode three. I'm on a different girl.

What the hell? God damn All right Chrissy Let's go head over To the page Yeah heading over to the page

This weekend I'll be in What's uh Tampa St Pete Petersburg For joke world It's gonna be fucking blast

Yeah check out joke world A lot of beach time I'll be in Atlantic City That whoa That sucks Yeah I mean that's crap That's great That's great

It does Yeah We'll be diving and we're diving in clear water. Yeah. Playing football and you're going to be avoiding needles. I'll be slipping in clear shit. Voting needles and yelling at people in wheelchairs.

Anyway, come check that out. Yeah, definitely check that out. It's going to be great. Atlantic City's cool. Yeah. Tampa Bay, Florida. I'm at side splitters again a couple weeks later. August 29th. Atlanta, Georgia.

I'm in helium. August 30th. San Diego, California, American Comedy Club, August 1st, 2, 3rd, and Nashville, Zanie. August 8th. Beauty. So come support de beige. Yeah, come support de br.

It's gonna be fun. All right. Patreon.com slash stuff filing. Check it out. Yeah, subscribe to look at this. We just filmed the best fucking dessert of all time. Yeah, yeah, we did.

We listened to you and we did desserts. Yeah. Fuck, I might do another one. Soon.