Stuff Island - Dad Meat - Stuff Island #206
Episode Date: October 15, 2025Tommy Pope sits down with Mike Rainey and Tim Butterly. Mike and Tim have a hilarious podcast together called Dad Meat . Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Ea...ch week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Shop SKIMS Mens at https://www.SKIMS.com. Let them know I sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select my show in the dropdown menu that follows Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://www.RocketMoney.com/stuffisland today! Go to Better Help and talk to someone. Get 10% off at Better Help by using our code STUFFISLAND visit https://www.BetterHelp.com/STUFFISLAND today Whether you’re layering up for tailgates, lounging through lazy Sundays, or just leaning fully into fall comfort, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our listeners $10 off your order with the code [STUFFISLAND] at chubbiesshorts.com. That’s code [STUFFISLAND] at chubbiesshorts.com. Support the show and show your thighs some respect…with Chubbies. SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
how do you fucking why do you guys eat before having to talk
I was sorry I was fixing a dryer all day and I haven't had a chance to eat and I was starting
to fade I was turning gray yeah you seem like the kind of guy takes a part of drag on
purpose just to put it back together just to get you brain get four and a half hours to
myself yeah just take a big lumpy shit there go I got to take it apart tomorrow got nothing
to do you don't eat before you do stuff no yeah no no
I mean there was 100 calories
in this sour apple
I didn't know if you still made paying that
I remember the first time when we started hanging at
which I think was like
2010
you were like yeah
I eat gas station nachos
once a night and then I'm done
dude 100%
after shows I would go right to
well I would buy a collection
of ingredients I call them gas station
nachos but I'd just get some cheese
some fucking tostitos
and then I'd make them
in the oven.
You can bring them home and cook them.
You wouldn't even nuke them in the store.
No, no, no, no, no.
I make my own.
You're sitting in the car with nacho ingredients
on the way home.
You're asking the Uber to make a stop.
You know what?
I'm hungry now.
Exactly.
I don't know if it's a fart or just the fucking
broken down fucking.
My apologies, by the way,
I came in a little bit hot,
getting warmed up with a slur vocal exercise.
That's fine.
Just letting them rip butt-wise too.
Yeah, you were talking about ass stuff, though.
It's like a singer going
comedy
Eminem etes.
Neen, I know,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
Neenani, no,
no, no, no.
No, I can't, dude,
it's like, it's, it's,
it's proven it, the science behind it,
it slows down your,
your, uh,
your, your,
brain activity.
Mm.
Because everything's digesting.
Yeah, it uses all its energy
so your brain doesn't function.
You know, told me this, Nick Mullen in the fucking green,
okay some uh some lady
lady broad was headlining she was eating like a giant
chicken salad and he's like you know stupid that is
slows down your whole mechanism
well now I'm in my own head
if you notice me thinking too slowly at any point
point out to me dude that'll be fucking news
yeah Tom I'm fucking confused by cartoons so I don't think
a fucking taco is going to slow me down
yeah I don't I don't doubt you guys
I just uh you know
dude I'm worried about you you got
you gotta get your butt checked
Do you not want to talk about that?
No, I fucking, yeah, I've talked about the last two weeks.
I was excited to get fucking scoped.
Yeah.
Did it happen?
What?
It happened already?
No, I got a call.
Fifteen minutes before I started drinking the diarrhea juice.
Yeah.
Literally 15 minutes.
I got a call.
And this is what happened last time.
It was a day before when I was 40.
Now I'm 45.
I have Big Boy insurance.
I'm paying $600 for Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Whoa.
There shouldn't be any issues with the referrals.
I got a call from Goldstein's office.
I went with the only Jew in this area.
Thank goodness.
Smart.
Yeah.
I'm fully Indian in my doctors now, but I love that for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How does Goldstein get the scope in when he's busy doing this?
There will be a coin in my ass.
That's what you're swallowing.
That's in the fucking drink they give you.
You swallow a coin and he's in there digging for it.
No, so yeah, the office called me and said, hey, the referral didn't go through.
You have until 2 o'clock.
And I was supposed to start drinking at like one.
P.m.
They call me 1245 going,
you can't,
you might not have this appointment.
So I had to wait until 2 o'clock
and they said,
and they're reschedule it.
No.
But yeah,
I'm excited.
Yeah.
Because I got to feel good.
Like when you can,
when you have these means to do this shit,
yes.
You look forward to it.
Yes.
And it's like it's an appropriate age.
I have,
obviously have symptoms that aren't great.
I've beaten the fuck out of myself for 30 years.
I just want to get clear.
I want somebody to go,
you're fine.
You got butt CTE.
Yeah, dude.
But it's, yeah.
And the reason I got the referral in the first place when I was 40
with this dog shit cult religion insurance I had.
My mom's got colitis, Crohn's.
There's ass cancer in our family genetics.
So I'm like, look, dude, you know?
Then your poor bathroom back at your parents' house.
Yeah.
You just.
Getting pounded by a middle-aged woman with health problems.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
My dad makes her shit out bad.
He's big in tomatoes, dude.
It's just mom manure.
Is Crohn's more of a ladies thing?
I don't know how many guys are crones.
I think women are probably more likely to speak about it,
whereas I have only no one man who's been open-ed-off.
I don't even think I would notice if I had Crohn's.
Yeah.
I think of my crones.
Does your toilet bowl look like Hawaiian Punch three days a week?
Yeah, dude.
Me too.
I found out, I found out.
You may have crones.
Lucky Charms put mega-sized rainbow marshmallows in recently.
Oh, so you're getting it from Rocky Charms?
A green flush every single time.
No, dude.
That's like somebody eating
Not even by the way
Not even like military fatigue is green
I'm talking about like whoa
Children's finger paints green
This isn't a fucking
Hootcasts
No it's I'm not talking about like a
Like an athlete drinking beet juice
Forget me did and then having a
A bloody stool
I'm I'm mashing fucking
You're making teakamasol
I'm making teakumas on my own
organically
So yeah it's it's all hemorrhoits
Oh no
Yeah you'll be a hemorrhoids guy
We got to get you a donut.
Well, here's the thing about hemorrhoids.
I can't believe we're starting with this.
But it's the frequency of the pressure
and going to the restroom.
I got more of a liquid diet than I do.
That's truly how it happens?
Because my aunt used to warn me all the time
and I thought she was just
didn't want me.
No, this isn't like hanging your head out of the window.
You get crushed by stop sign type fucking make.
You sit on a bowl for an hour
every time you dump.
You're going to create some morsels of fucking hemis.
And they got a pop
Starting gay fans
Yeah, and then you got to tuck them in
You got to fucking
It's like packing a suitcase
Did they fit in like nicely
Or is it like a kid trying to clean up his room
When his mom's in the driveway
Oh yeah, it's a lot of
It's a lot I get
You know, a fucking golf bag into a truck
You have to lay sideways
And your girlfriend sits on your ass cheeks
So you can pull your pants over them
Like a suitcase
I pull the zipper now
There told you I'd get it in
Yeah, it's truly mashing grapes.
But I remember going to a doctor when I was like 22, 23 years old
when I first started recognizing the bleeding and stuff.
And the guy told me, he's like,
I wouldn't recommend getting your hemorrhoids removed because...
Because they're beautiful.
No.
Did each one of them a chain?
He was nude, which made it weird.
You're sucking on one.
I'm going to get these grafted onto a homosexual.
What are these are delusiness?
I feel bad.
I'm hearing of them all myself.
No, he said,
I think they tie the butt together.
Gives a little charm.
A little old charm.
So he said keep him.
No, he said keep him because the analogy he used was like,
he said actually life begins at diarrhea.
This is his murder.
He said, imagine a room filled with furniture and the airflow.
Like if you, you imagine how air flow.
airflow and furniture affects the
airflow in a room like a couch or like a
fucking, you know, a Raymore and
Flanagan. Okay. You pull that
out of there. There's a lot more flow. You can take the
governor off.
And I was like, what are you talking
about? I'm 23 and hung over
in college and he's like, he's like
I leak. I leak
now. Because I got my
roids taken out. There's
no more furniture in there and it just leaks.
So I got to wear like manponds and shit.
This guy's in scrubs. I
believe them. You know, I don't know. Who knows? He might have been
in the waiting room. If I wasn't even a doctor
and he's like, don't do it.
But nowadays, apparently the technology
is advanced and they can just
they can do it all in one. Yeah, they stage your
asshole. Yeah. Yeah.
It's all IKEA furniture.
I've got a virtual tour scheduled with my ass
later on tonight. I don't want to sign anything
before I see it. Then you get in there,
like it looked bigger.
It looked a lot bigger. Maybe it's a photographer.
We can get a different couch. I used to do it's a photography.
they are slime balls
those fucking real estate agents
taking beautiful photos
and you show up
you're like this is it
oh man
they cropped out
all my fucking Indian neighbors
they cropped out
the 16 people
living in the house next door
tricksters
your whole neighborhood's
just a jar in Marsala
I'm good now
I'm saying
you got rid of them
selling a house
in my old neighborhood
oh right
where my dad lives
yeah
that was tough parking
I would pull up to do
dad meet and uh it was i would get a death there from like one of 18 russian neighbors who would have
a fucking a voice activated alarm saying you are being recorded yeah so the northeast is still like
heavy russian right yeah huge russian and they're not bothering anybody so it's like completely
unnoticed and it's like tough to be racist against them because they kind of look like you
yeah yeah yeah just with bigger head they're on big head mode that's the only way you can tell
if you're dealing with a uh russian person or a regular person yeah russians have like korean skulls
It's really like, yeah.
And rock solid.
Yeah.
Almost no soft tissue inside or out.
Yeah.
They got like the ideal deal of school for like using a tech deck on.
Yeah.
You never had one yet, a colonoscopy?
I thought he said a tech deck on my head.
No.
No, I'm due for one, but you know, I like to wait a little bit.
And so far, I don't know.
What are you?
He's edging.
46.
46, yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I mean, despite having, I think gout was the worst of,
my maladies in the past few years
damn you were in the civil war
is that still a thing
there's still gal? I brought it back yeah
I got a guy a bunch of our boys in summer
I got it a bunch of our boys got hit
it's bread like I got it was all sexually
transmitted
isn't it from like shellfish and like beer
and like you can most of the time when people
get it it's from drinking too much yeah
sitting on a bar still getting fucking
so it's impressive when you're completely sobering
you can still get it that's crazy I got it from processed
meats because I'm not fucking around like I used to eat a
almost every day.
When I lived in
fucking Prospect Park,
it was,
I lived up the street
from Primos to Ludo's
was like a five minutes
drive away, so
five days a week
I would probably eat a hoagie
for lunch and or like
by the way,
the worst thing you can consume
is processed meats.
Yeah,
I believe it, man.
Literally the worst things you can
I thought my foot was broken.
Yeah, the day before.
Except for like,
you know,
Bresuit or like coming right off
the leg of a pig,
but the way they tube it,
do you ever see that process?
Yeah, it's fucked.
When they make this,
this slur
of meat and salt
and powders
and dies
do baloney
is N word tube
the bologna alone
good lord
I know man
but that's how I got my gout
from processed meats
and yeah the day before
like my son
was getting ready for basketball
so I was running suicides
with him on the court outside
and I told Tim he's like
yeah the problem is you're too healthy
that's what that is
oh yeah
I don't know my foot hurts
I was crossing up a fucking 12 year old
three days ago
and now it feels like
I'm having a heart attack
in my toe
well doesn't it feel
like there's a nail on your foot
it literally felt like my foot was broken
I couldn't move my foot
yeah and it was swollen
and I was like
what could this possibly be
and within seconds of telling
the urgent care doctor my symptoms
she's like oh yeah
you got to do
you got to fucking
you look at your freckles
and your belly
and she's like you look like a hoagie demon
yeah how do you feel about
Donovan McNat
yeah it's got
But yeah, she's like, yeah, drink cherry juice and just hydrate, like, you're going to run out of it.
You're never going to drink water again.
Yeah.
What's the cherry for?
Just sugars?
It just helps get rid of the acid.
Oh, okay.
It's a buildup of uric acid in there, and like the cherry juice helps, I guess, dissipate it.
Yeah.
So it's just for meat and processed meats and not drinking water.
You just piss like a cat, smell like shit?
No, I normally hydrate.
that's how much meat I was eating.
Like, I was eating so much processed meat that despite what I was drinking,
that it was,
it was counteracting that.
And I was really just meat it up.
Just meat sweating all day long with a bum pirate foot.
Dude,
I had to go do shows with Shane or Jimmy Gillespie and like,
I had a flare up of gout.
And I had to sit in the hotel room with my foot in the air like this.
This was the only way it would feel better.
Is that to release pressure, like blood pressure?
It just felt so much better when I had it in the air.
It was kind of like, you know,
you got a fucking broken foot or something.
You elevate it, but, like,
putting on a pillow wasn't helping.
I had to have it straight up in the air.
It's crazy.
You had to get my knees back by my ears.
It's the only relief, dude.
Yeah, Gillespie had to bury his burning.
Give me all his gal.
To me a favor, man,
do you think you can get your shoulders behind my knees?
It's just my piggies hurt so bad from sandwiches.
An old remote falls out of your ass.
Yeah, can you make it seem like my ears are answering a foot telephone?
that's the worst of it's uh i think butt wise i'm good but i am due to get my butt checked
yeah man you probably got hemis thanks man you definitely have hemis
dude i've never i've never your ears have hemorrhoids
there's no way your ass does i i don't i don't think i felt them i did have bleeding from the
ass when i was like 12 yeah but that was like at my tailbone yeah i don't know what that was
what do you think that could have been
I could take a couple fucking guesses dude
yeah did you graduate grade school
it was basketball camp
that's what it was bro
it was father McMenneman
showing an interest in you
at an early age
did you what do you mean you scraped your tailbone
and it blood in your ass
I went through a phase where my ass was bleeding
it wasn't like my asshole proper
but it was just like
around your tailbone
yeah oh my god
yeah and I don't know what it was
like I became paranoid for a while
because
bleeding was so heavy that I would bleed through my underwear and I was paranoid that I would
bleed through my fucking, my khaki pants that I wore. Yeah. You got your period.
In high school? Yeah. Um, I don't think, I don't know. You were in khakis at grade school?
No, no, no, we were politicians. But like, I only had a few pair of pants to wear. Yeah.
And I got like one good pair of pants from like fucking gap kids one year, but that was it. It was just like
hand-me-downs. Yeah. All the kids are going to call you Mike Staney.
I like that. Thank you. That was for you, buddy. Thanks, man. You are.
sharp tacos aren't doing damage yet
yeah so I don't know if it was high school yet
but a little ass blood
yeah I take everybody shut at this age
I can't wait what are you 40 do you stay awake for it
I'm almost yeah you stay awake for the
butt scope I think they give you general anesthesia
I don't like that at all I think you're all goofed out
fuck that I want to be completely aware
you're just like a half a bottle liquor in getting all goofed
loosen up I think I'd want to be awake
loosen up the buns if you have the option
would you take it
awake or not
I don't want to be put down
for like the groginess
of the recovery
but as long as I don't feel shit
that's it that's it
I don't give me all the needles
whatever procedure I need done
it's long as same thing with the mouth
you get like a fucking root canal
or something a tooth issue
give me more than you think
and I'll drool my booze all night
for 12 hours
I don't want to feel anything
because one time
I felt something, I fucking yelped
like you wouldn't believe in that chair
and I was fired the fuck up.
Yeah. Like I'd like
it was like a like
you know like a nerve pain
that kind of shit. Yeah.
No. Give me all the shit. Give me all
the juice and put me out and then
take the whole tooth out and then I'll be
groggy but the ass
I want to be there. I want to be there
to answer any questions that might come out. That's it.
I don't want to be like waking
up like oh where I'm not in my bed.
I'm in a medical
Yes
Oh no
And they're done
Also you can react
In the middle of a conversation
That I wasn't there for
The people in the room
Yeah
No
You can react
So like if there is a little pressure of pain
Otherwise they're just
You can grab the doctor's neck
They could be
They could just be opening you up
Way beyond the necessary limits
Yeah let me bite the pillow man
Yeah
Let me keep an eye on
Fucking Goldstein
Oh losing a ring in there
I don't trust him
Unless it's a good one
It's fast, though, right?
An hour.
Okay.
It looks like 45 minutes.
For you, yeah.
For me, they probably want to get it out.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I'm fucking nervous.
Are they just taking a look?
Are they just taking a look,
or they're going to start, like, sniffing stuff?
Who knows?
They take a look and then they see if there's any, you know,
feel a vibe.
Pallops.
Yeah, depends on the lighting.
Sprite paint their name.
How everyone feels.
Any pulsating veins?
Well, that's the thing.
I research doctors that can get rid of hemorrhoids.
and do the colonoscopy in the same procedure.
Otherwise, you got to do it twice.
The same idea, general anesthesia.
So what's you do?
Like, put him over his wrist
while he puts the camera in there?
What, the hemorrhoids?
Yeah.
They're not purses, dickhead.
They're just swollen glands.
They're like,
if your finger had like a bulbous little bubble on it.
Okay.
It's just a vein that is expanded.
But I thought they were grape-like.
I don't have that size.
Okay.
No, they're just, it's a nuisance.
What do you complain about then?
I'm lying.
It's a fucking huge.
No, I don't know.
Normal raisin to small grape.
Dude, what if you, Tom, you've got a legendary,
there's a rumor spreading about you
that you have a massive dick.
I haven't seen it.
So what if he's just pushing his hemorrhoids forward,
giving the impression of a big dick?
It's not massive.
I have a decent size bird.
It's a lot of trunk.
I don't know, man.
I've heard things.
It's good trunk.
It's more girt than fucking, you know.
It's got a nice.
canopy. At what age did you realize
I get some shade on my nuts? What age
did you think like, all right, this is something to work? When I saw my
brother's dick. Smaller.
We shared a bedroom. No, we used to call him
Snuffy. Snuffaloficus.
Said he used to close a shower curtain
with his penis. Dude
had a fucking hug. And this is back when
before briefs, he wore old school
boxers where they had that fucking barn door
in the front. And he walked down the
steps in high school
hung over and that thing would swing out
to get a breath of hair.
outside get a cigarette
flop back in there
smack his thighs
that's got to feel good as a parent
to have big dick sons
you think so yeah yeah
I saw my dad's dick
when he would shave
and just like place his balls
on top of the sink
and I walked in there
and I was like five years old
and he's fucking gelatin
he's gelatin all up
and his fucking nuts
and his giant bouffant
are all over the porcelain
he's singing a duet in the shampoo bottle with it
who's in his kiss
yeah California
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
It's California reasons.
Now, yeah, he's got a hawk.
Wow, man.
What a household.
My mom has a huge clit, too, so what I'm like?
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Here's what I don't know.
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Steve, my
Hall's buddy's
listening to his buddy.
Steve,
send me a pick of his dick.
Steve,
let us know
in the comments below
what you're working with,
man.
I'm sure he's all right.
But, you know,
it's like balding.
You know,
you never know
if you're going
to get your mother's father's head.
Yeah,
you've got to go to Turkey
to get fixed.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe Steve got the
fucking Irish side.
Yeah,
that was one of the worst
parts about taking care
of my dad when he was dying
a scene that he had a much bigger dick than I did.
Really?
Yeah. Flasset dying dick?
It was like, come on, man.
Like, how do we get from that to this?
What are we talking?
I think soft, well, you, I'm talking.
Four to five?
Yeah. I think he had about, I would say,
four soft.
Wow.
Which is pretty nice.
Old dude dying, four soft?
I know, yeah.
That thing was cooking.
In his youth dude, that thing was cooking.
That thing had a driver's license when he was 25, dude.
That's a fucking absolute heater.
that's a hot
yeah four inches
in hospice
it's like six
that's crazy
dude
that's a 10 inch
you
literally fighting for his life
with a big
soft dick
yeah that was
the toughest part
of the grieving
process
yeah
did you clean them
did you wash them
and stuff
yeah
yeah there were
uh
Jamaican ladies there
to do
he didn't trust
or he didn't trust
him right
was he racist
against the Jamaicans
washing his bun
he was trying
to be nice
but uh
it's like
when you're like
talk until like somebody at the door and the dog's trying to get out yeah like that's what
it felt like every time he was trying to say something i knew it was coming next so i'd have to cut
him off by and large he was pretty good when he finally passed did you close both of his eyes
and then tuck the tip into the foreskin time i honestly did try to close his eyes when i when
because he was like he died at home you were there for the last moment no my niece called me
my niece called me my niece called me and i went over to my dad's apartment because he ended up dying
there and he was on the bed and we all said our goodbyes and was very sad and uh what he dying
really uh yeah uh right next to nifty 50s which is probably kind of want to go as laid out in his
will that is in his living will dying my cheese nuggets dude their chicken cheese nuggets
are unbelievable but yeah he he died like he had just woken up so he had a heart attack
he was like clearly like trying to get dressed and he fell back on the bed and i was in there
with my wife and like you know we were just you know observing him and i was like uh i got to do it so
i always wanted to like have the ability to close eyelids it's so much wait so you knew he was gone gone
yeah how what was the time frame between knowing that um like you saw him literally have a heart
attack no no no he he had died my brother-in-law had gone over to to take care of him that morning and he
found him dead. So they called the police
and he was pronounced dead there
and then while we were waiting for the undertakers.
Did you stop with the nifty 50-50s before?
You get a little shake
before closing pops-eye.
I give him a
kiss like a chocolate-crippin.
Oh, black and white
vanilla, dude. Can I get
onion rings on that?
Yeah, thanks. My dad's dead.
He's holding a bag of
a greasy onion rings. Thank you, Desiree.
I'm sorry.
But yeah, I tried to do the eye, the eyelid shut thing, and they just wouldn't go down.
Like, I eventually had to, like, do two fingers to try to get them to go down.
Did they come back up a couple times and you go, why?
They didn't shoot up with my eyes.
A fucking wise guy.
Yeah, so now we're down to two stooges.
No.
But I closed them as much as I could with with pinchy fingers and they still wouldn't go down all the way.
So is this like a Hollywood trope is what you say?
almost yeah it's like it's yeah i don't know maybe some people have better eyelids who knows
yeah or more lose eyes like you still have like nerve reactions it's like you know there's yeah there's
still shit going on because beheading a chick and still cruises around for a bit yeah yeah
man his islands still want to see some shit yeah what if his soul left his body he wasn't
like fully out yet and he just wanted to get a good glimpse of nifty 50s from the fucking
bedroom window he's the fucking fratting retards son trying to like yank his fucking
Close the blinds?
He just went to one more.
Pull it to the left.
One more gorgeous shot.
It'll go.
There's an hang of things to get to do.
It was working earlier.
Yeah.
Closing the blinds in an Airbnb is exactly like your dad dying.
Well, I'm sorry about your loss.
Yeah, a good run, man.
But thank you.
Yeah.
How old was he?
78?
75, I think.
Yeah.
maybe 76 but they got to see the eagles win the super bowl that's fucking great yeah yeah
he's 77 yeah got a kidney removed he's probably walking in the drywall like a pug right now
oh my god in the basement looking for another bottle of carlo rossi my mom's probably smoking him
with a broom yeah yeah there steve right what else is it to do you know the poor guy
yeah at a certain point just he just misses cigarettes and booze and he's
Make your mouth, your stomach, and your penis feel good.
Yeah, 100%.
That's really it.
And there's only two things you absolutely can control on that.
There's only two of the three stages that are actually going to fucking react.
Yeah, and it's, I don't know.
God knows what's going to happen with your bird.
I know, man.
Do you think you would try to, I don't know, kind of reanimate it, even though you knew the magic was gone?
Because there's so much you can do now.
Would you, like, if you're pushing 80, would you try to get hard?
Oh, like the, when he makes the thing dance in the shower and home alone?
Yeah.
I dare even call it a cool jerk, Tim.
I don't know, man.
I think it's a good question
because I'm already losing Will to give a shit.
You know, I'll see some smoked out reeking on the streets
and I'm like, that chick is that would make my penis dance.
Yeah.
Even a couple of years ago, now I'm just like,
get out of here.
I think that just means you're closer to getting married.
That's all that means.
True.
I'm more content, but I also do.
You know, it's more of a, when I beat off, it's like just work.
It's like, I don't have the time.
I don't, I just get it done.
And it's all anxiety driven.
It's not sexual.
And then when a sex has to actually have to happen, it's a fucking event.
It's like getting dressed up for a fucking graduation.
It's like, I don't want to go through all this shit.
I just want to pound off.
Let me pretend I got bad Chinese food, my dummy.
And I'll go rip one for,
30 seconds on the toilet and then I come back out like I don't know babe it's probably not going to
pass tomorrow I'm just hoping her pussy passes and she doesn't want to fuck anymore but yeah no I hope
I hope I could jerk off at 80 yeah or just have a you know an Asian 3,000 suckbot that can do
all the work for you to the cleanup on those things is so bad right now imagine like not having
your your fucking motor skills at that age yeah they're trying to clean one of those
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'll use it one more time before I clean it.
Ew.
That's a goal of wealth.
He's like having enough money and just toss out.
White pubs and old man come
crusted all over it.
And your son's coming over to close your fucking eyes
because you died.
Oh, dude.
And the delicate...
You got a fucking paper machet pussy on the floor.
The Asian robot is still fizzing and corner like,
Still rebooting.
I'm wearing a bomb vest in hospice just for that,
turn it off, turn it off.
Oh, oh, right there, oh, right there.
Turn it off.
Trying to die.
It's going around a room like a Roomba.
Dad, were you fucking this robot?
It's just going to be bumping into your dick over and over again
and turning around a little bit.
It's clean, it's clean.
Yeah, they do.
You need a docking station for those things to clean themselves.
How are you feeling about the
the worst day in sports yesterday?
Dude, I gave up two tickets to go see you, the movie Showgirls.
They were having a screening with Elizabeth Berkley.
Well, I've rather gone there.
Jesse Spano from fucking Saved by the Bell.
What's that maniac whore look like?
Beautiful.
She looks great.
They can get rid of horror, I guess.
Yeah, I was going to go to that, but it's, you know,
it's fucking game four.
Thursday night football
and the two
worst possible outcomes
that could have happened
Good Lord man
That was
Yeah that fucked me up
For a long time
That was bad
Because you think you've seen
Like the worst possible way
That one of your teams could lose
Dude I'd rather
Always a new way
Yep
I'd rather just get
I've always said this
Beat straight up
No injuries
No bullshit calls
Just fucking make it a game
Yeah
And that there's miss pitches
That bottom of the seventh
Fucking
No call to time run
Yeah it's a time run
Yeah it's a time run
mind he's cool he ended up tying the game like some like you have to hold these these umpires
accountable like they have to go to court they have to be not be headed but like they have to be
punished they can't just show up the next day and be like ah my bad missed that one he
apologized yeah don't say don't do that he apologized gone that was my bad it was like the most
influential call of the whole season we're fighting our fucking teeth and nails to get
to this back to the
fucking game five and
that that set us back
and then the fucking last play
and then you go into the Eagles
the OC beheaded
Torulo or whatever the fuck
you get
that cock sucker out it's
Totolo your own notice
Tutto Toto Totoolo
Start making hoogies next to
Tudorolo's
Yeah give me God again you fuck
Yeah fuck him
We're too talented
Tim's getting in the sports now
Yeah? Well, no, I'm getting
Well, I've been watching the Eagles this season
Because I know how much my boys care
And so it's too late for me to give a fuck about football
But I can watch the game
And anytime anything happens, I'm like
Dude, my boys are so fucking pumped right now
That fucking rocks. Wow, what a drive
I know my boy, wherever my boys are right now
They're so fucking pumped
Yeah, I feel that way
I mean, it's how I got into like Notre Dame
Carry it all week too
For Shane and you get the high of like the Eagles winning
And you get to live that all week
I was like, dude, my homiems are so fired up right now.
Yeah, well, the birds, this rocks.
The beautiful spot you're in now is that you don't have to wear it until the next game,
the way people that actually give a fuck.
But I am wearing it.
It's healthy.
When they lost, last week, I was like, babe, my foot.
I know my homies are so mad about the rest right now.
It's going to drive me insane for the next seven.
Did you mind if I hit you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to feel what they feel.
Nothing's wrong, dude.
It's just my boys are fucked up about the reps.
Give me a fucking break.
I'm trying to enjoy what my boys think about the game.
This was to me at midnight.
couldn't fucking shaking
I sent you
fucking violent videos
oh I sent you
didn't I send you one
I didn't watch it I could not
I could not consume that
I said it to Shane
I sent it to you I sent it to you
I sent it to my
heifer Izzy and
Cunningham
I got a whole chat for all that
and then it was it was a fucking
some guy walks into a
a private looks like classroom
but it's like older people
I don't know if it was like a community
might be an adult daycare
was it Asian
Eastern Europe
peeing.
Oh, okay.
And he walks in, just,
just starts dropping grenades.
Oh, it was a committee meeting.
I've seen that.
Yeah, yeah.
He drops three fucking grenades.
It's like,
and everyone's just looking.
I'm like,
who's this fucking weird?
Until the first one goes off.
How do you throw on the floor?
I'm just like Phillies,
flyers,
Eagles.
Bing.
Bing!
That was all.
First time, long time.
First time.
First time last time.
See ya.
And I was fucking angry.
She gets out a bed.
You know,
she's in her under.
wear tits out she's like can you walk the dog i'm like i'm not now not now i can't i walk the dog with
the dog tells me she eats walking i'm fucking fired up dude i'm eating cereal at 3 a m watching pawn
stars i can't just i can't shut my mind off i'm slurping all of my fat tits yeah sports is
it's a beautiful thing when it works out but it's like you don't cry for the win unless you
you deal with this pain for decades that's beautiful dude i want that on sign up
above my couch.
It's true.
I mean, the worst possible outcome
wasn't just the Eagles losing,
but it's like to a team
with a Wigger running back.
Have you seen this guy?
The Wigger quarterback.
Yeah, oh God.
Wigger, dude.
They're dangerous, man.
They're two and four now.
They are great.
And I love, I say, I do like them both.
They are very likable.
I like them both.
But if you see, especially the running back,
Camp Scadabo, this is a guy
that you're going to see punching himself
outside of a bar
that he just got kicked out of.
Yeah.
Daring every bouncer to fucking fight.
He's already got CT.
He just started.
It's just way ahead of the game
A second
I'll be back
He's already got to E, T, Tommy Kim
figured out a zipper
I can't open up cool
That's this
It's fucking weed
You almost had me
Pretty cool, right?
Yeah, you try to trick me
I think I just got a fast one on you
Do you think there's an influx of wiggers
now?
No, I think there's
I said this before.
We need to open a reservation
and protect them.
We must protect our wigs.
We need to have them breed together.
Okay.
You know, like the last white rhino.
Like the hand is, yeah.
Just tossing Newports over the fucking fence.
Get them all riled up.
You know, a couple oldies
hidden in the trees.
Get them drunk.
They start mashing against some fat Diane.
Oh, yeah.
Make that duplex stink.
no i don't think there's no i think they're dying breed dude that's why it's so funny to see
like a guys r h you know how many we went the fuck at school with yeah at bonner there's a ton
of them that's a documentary dude i think that's a wonderful documentary be fine following the wigs
at mont senior bonner from 1996 to 1998 dude i wanted to make one as ken burns wigger's son
yeah and and it's just the evolution of wiggers over time because i think we're really
they've really evolved to the point where
the most notable aspect of Wigger evolution
is they're living much longer than they used to
It used to be it's like 25 max
You're either dead from fucking pill
From pill addiction
Or you know you get hit by a car
Or some other you know
Wigger tragedy like you know get run over by a bus
But now like you see so many gray haired wiggers
This episode's also brought you by skis
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Yeah.
Yeah, they've definitely outlived their life expectancy.
It's also cool watching a bunch of them get cleaned up.
And like, they finally realize,
that they've had bad visions.
And now the guy you've seen
with like the chin strap,
you know,
the fitted flat brim.
Yeah.
And now suddenly he's got a brand new
glasses prescription.
He looks like me with bug eyes.
Yeah.
That's been pretty cool
to watch all my cousins go through.
Yeah.
If you thought I could see snakes before.
Yeah.
You can brush out the hard gel bangs.
He's like,
I'm different.
Yeah.
I'm realizing,
realize on a different level now.
It's Wigger Lysick.
Hey, what did you get your shit done? Real eyes?
They say it's dangerous, but you trust the process.
I don't trust that process.
He's got an AR scope.
He's just pointing it at your eyes.
Like, yo, stand still.
Philly's probably the most densely populated,
owingeration.
Yeah.
We're spoiled, and you don't realize it until you're gone
because I can't tell you how many I, how few I've seen down here.
I'm so sick of regular white guys.
Yeah, I know.
Boring.
Yeah.
Yep.
I want to see a wig on.
I want to see some...
I want to see some shiny jean shorts on my white guy friends, man.
Yeah, do wearing fucking Russian bedazzled jeans from Wildwood's boardwalking.
Oh my God.
I would kill to just go to Wildwood for a weekend right now.
Dude, we did it two years ago with the...
Are You Garbage Boys?
It was the best weekend in my life.
I've been there in fucking probably 20 years.
It's a time capsule.
It doesn't change.
It's a different...
The newer generation...
Generation of children and adults,
they're still the same trash level.
Yeah. So it doesn't feel like you're 30 years advanced.
You went pretty recently, didn't you?
Yeah, I've gone every year or so up until,
I think I might have been there like last year.
Wow.
Yeah, it's still the same.
Ed's Von Kade still rips.
Yeah.
Still work going down to Ocean City if you really want to go to a good arcade.
Yeah, that's where I stayed this year.
I love Ocean City so much, man.
Well, it's just us now.
It has actually gotten trashier, I would say,
since when we were kids.
One million percent.
And now you're doing the one mile
walk from the boardwalk to the shoreline.
And by the time you get
to like the last quarter mile,
you realize like you're in fucking hell,
dude.
It's like loud, loud trash music.
Everyone's screaming.
It's not a beach experience.
I thought you were initially referring to Ocean City,
but Wildwood is worse than it was?
Yeah, Wildwood fucking stinks.
Fuck, man.
The Wildwood is a lot trasher than it used to be.
I'm sorry, Ocean City.
I think so, too.
Ocean City.
cities it's different that used to be a place that's like paradise compared to i know dude a couple
years ago a guy cut his mom's head off in ocean city let's go we up damn the official start of white
boy summer over what yeah uh i think he just had a psychotic break and uh fucking oh his mom was busting
his balls or didn't get the right mountain do how old was he do you know like facts i think he was like 30s
i can look it up real quick yeah i love stuff like this dude i don't want to bother my producer
She's busy playing Pokemon.
Yeah, Ocean City Man charged with decapitating 74-year-old mother.
This was right by our birthday.
So he was probably 55?
Oh, dude, he looks like a head cutter author.
That's a head cutter offer guy.
Oh, fuck.
He looks like Josh, actually.
It does kind of look like Josh.
Looks like Josh and Cullum.
He's got Cullin's weird eyes.
Oh, yeah, this guy is.
Would you, would you be like a slicey,
slicey, slicey, back and forth kind of guy,
or would you be hacking and chopping type of guy?
Well, here's the thing.
74-year-old, by the way, that head's coming off pretty easy.
Look at this guy.
He doesn't, these guys don't have nice utensils in the kitchen.
Yeah.
And they're probably, they probably rent it or it's from like an aunt.
They're borrowing for a weekend.
And they're blades that have been in there for 30 fucking years.
Yeah.
And they're all serrated.
None of these are sharp knives.
So this guy put work in.
He's a carpenter.
When police arrived at the apartment building where Jeffrey lived on 6th Street,
they discovered sergeant nude lying on top of his mother's decapitated body.
Oh, God.
What a great way to go out, man.
Oh, so he was truly possessed and, like, wanted to fuck her and eat her.
He said he was bipolar, but it's like, I know.
It's like the Ed Gein's story.
I started watching that on Netflix.
Oh, yeah.
That's what he was obsessed with his mom wearing her lingerie.
Yeah, dude.
He's, uh,
It's surprising that he only killed two people.
He might have killed his dad, though.
That's why I'm watching it.
I'm like, they've already killed two people in the first two episodes.
And I already know that fact.
And it's like, well...
I think the thing that really separates him from others is the grave robbing.
Because that's where he would get his materials to make his lady suits.
Yeah.
And Hitchcock, I'm at that episode where he tells the actor, the gay actor to open the chest.
And there's like nine pussies in it.
Oh, he was a vulva collector.
Yeah, he collected nine vulvas.
A volva collector
Yeah, a lot of the shit
You never saw that stand
On Wild's Woodwalk?
The airbrushed vulvas
Vulva
Vovna necklaces with
I'm gonna get a vulva with juicy airbrushed
on it
I'm gonna go get a Rick and Morty
Vulva
Volva
Make that shit glow in the dark
Yeah, one of my saddest
Jewelary moments
was Wildwood Boardwalk
where my godmother
I wanted to buy me something.
What'd you get?
At that time, I talked my mother, no, I talked my mother worse.
I talked my mother in to get me a crystal on a leather, a leather necklace.
Just a hanging crystal, like a long crystal.
And then my aunt was like, I want to get you something.
I was like, I'd also like a silver chain.
And I went home and I wrapped the leather with the silver.
braided the
you're wearing a braided
leather and silver necklace
with a crystal
yeah that's like
that's a portal
wegered him
yeah I mean
it's just transport you
to a different bus stop
that's nuts
that's the beginning
of wigger doom
you opened a portal
to Mars
so not a hit
with anybody I guess
no I got my ass beat
my brother's
you know no gold horn they shamed me never really i wore the the hand they have the hand
yeah you ever see the yeah the wax hand yeah the horns down is like another thing the wops wear
with the horn it's a hand completely unfamiliar this yeah uh but yeah i wore those in in the tire
series but i could never yeah i could never i'm already like i get it i'm walking that fine line
of like obnoxious
bullshit
but like truly
I'd have to be
110%
that is a delicate
bracelet you're wearing
yeah it's nice
it is very nice
what's your uh
what's your ring denote
is there a special stone in there
or there is a special stone
you know who told us
I got this like GED
that Indian sniper
if you look at it here
it's like baby blue
but if you look it up here
it's like
well Indian snipers
they would know about red dots
burn orange
it's from 1922 Birmingham
thank you Josh
Oh, with the light coming through it?
Is that what's happening?
In England.
Oh, that is cute.
Yeah.
And it nice?
Yeah.
What if you, is a...
It's very unique.
Is it color changing if you gets warm?
I got it at Alador.
Aladour is a vintage jewelry shop in this area.
That's where I got my girls.
It's a Muslim Spirit Halloween dealer.
Spirit Halloween.
What are you going out as for?
hollow hollow hollow black bar
yeah a beheaded wife
when you walk past
and he just slips it on your finger
without you even noticing
it's better than off huh
looks good on you though
were you ever a toe ring guy
Jesus Christ
do you know anyone
nipple rings like a male
man no
that's the craziest choice
can you imagine
I don't think I've ever
met no chance a male of nipple rings
yeah
I pierced one of mine with a safety pin in high school
your nipples
Chris did that because he thought he had fat tits
and he probably he claims that's why
he claims that's why he's short
he says he popped all his testosterone out of his
nipples
this is a true thing
it's in one of our episodes he thought
he thought he had a sack of fluid in his
tits he did like going through adolescence
yeah so but I it's painful
And he would pierce it and he leaked his tits.
And he said that's where all his testosterone went through his growth spurt.
Wow.
That's why he's only 5'2.
Oh, no.
Yeah, you get like a little bumpy orb behind your nipple.
Yeah.
That's good.
It's a love sack.
It's your hurt so bad.
Made my titty so tender and sensitive.
Yeah. Throbbing with pain.
Being a great school titty boy never leaves you.
It's like I just good slaughters for your tits.
Do you know, did you have that growing up?
It's when your bones grow too fast
You get a big bump here
I had it
I had Osgood slaughters
Osgood Schlaughters
Osgood Schlaughters
Osgood Schlaughters
Do something
Fucking look it up
It's when your bones
grow faster than
You can handle it
Josh has really enjoyed the show
He's just having a good time, isn't he?
Can I get you something?
Can you put something in a microwave?
You want to hop?
fucking fuck face
I could run to the car
and grab my
Nacho kit
were you worried
because I mean
you were an accomplished
athlete as a kid
were you worried
that that was going
to fuck you up
somehow
what my Agegood
no you're fucking
adult hemorrhoids
yes
you're eyes good
both were an issue
Mike
it's started
it's 30 5 years old
oh dude
why
well I
because it was the only
place I could
I hate to say this
again
the pod but growing up we didn't have any space to like so you hid in your own butt
no it's sit on the toilet as long as i could that makes sense was like they wouldn't
fuck with you as punch there was no locks or whatever but like i would just sit down and i would
play like johnny carson i would look at the curtain and say like i'm a host and i'd bring a toy in
from my bedroom and i would introduce the toy to the to the to the crowd and i'd
sit there until my ass bloomed
like a bouquet. Your feet aren't even
touching the floor and you're just wiggling.
Guys,
when you can give a warm welcome to my next guest?
Truly.
Truly. And that's what
the, you know, that's best.
Guys, give it up for the big boss man.
It is very pathetic.
Your brother's dick pulls the curtain over.
We got a really big penis for you.
That's very
sweet though it's a very sweet way to get hemorrhoids i well i mean it was pretty
dramatic and abusive did you think it was as fucked up as it was or did you just think i just got
these things in my butt now yeah i just thought you know i got a friend i just took in you know
every night it didn't become an issue until they start bleeding yeah and that's just about
uh frequency of dunts were you open about telling your parents when something was
Yeah, I do.
When I was 20, that's why I went to the first doctor.
I told my mom was bleeding in a bowl.
And I fucking went nuts.
She goes, what color is it?
I'm like, it's fucking blood.
What do you mean what colors?
She said, light blood or dark blood?
I said, whine punch.
She goes, you're fine.
And she said, how long has it been going on?
I was like, it's been like a couple months to a couple years.
And she said, you'd be dead.
Oh, my God.
That's what she said to me.
She said, don't worry about it.
You'd be dead.
If there was a real issue, you'd be dead.
So I rode that all the way down to 45, and I'd still been bleeding in a ball gone.
I'd be dead.
You should have filmed it, called it look a bowl.
Like this.
I'm going to get a toe ring after this episode.
You guys want to head down?
What's this?
I forget.
Meta moon.
Hi.
Mikey?
You want to play, dude?
No, I'm good, man.
You guys want to throw a football in the art for a little bit?
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
My girl just got me a new football.
I didn't bring it over, but it's...
Regulation or Nerf Vortex Howard?
No, no, regulation.
Oh, my God.
Could you imagine throwing a halter?
Tommy helped Fritz with his throwing form.
Yeah.
Dynamite.
Fritz was fucking.
He's throwing dimes by the end of it.
And he wants to go in the backyard and throw the football every day now.
I got him hooked.
I knew he was going to wake up the next morning going,
let's toss the pig around.
That's one of the most valuable skills a boy can learn is how to throw a ball correctly.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
Josh has a great idea for a podcast called Going Deep,
where he throws a football with comics.
and you talk about your dads and stuff.
Yeah, I've heard about this.
And then you can tell which dude's a piece of shit
because he can't throw a football.
Yeah.
And you've got to like...
Well, I mean, it's probably complicated than that.
But I'm excited for the experiment.
You can see how good the dude is
because you're wearing gopros from like, you know, a good distance.
Would you ever consider being hired as like a consultant quarterback coach
for guys that throw with lady arms?
100%.
I would like nothing, nothing better.
Oh, my God.
Because I got to imagine there's a ton of them,
Especially in fucking awesome with all the tech guys here.
Yeah.
Because, you know, you think all the,
especially the Indian New Arms.
You can do the $6,000 men's week-long camp
where they get screamed at and pushed around.
And their nipples, it's snapped.
You and Johnny Manzo.
Yeah, you're just beating the pussy out of them.
I talked James McCain
had to throw a football.
He was throwing with his mouth.
He was kicking it.
And then I taught him how to like,
he was going like opposite foot and shit.
You ever see some dude throw a horseshoe or baggo?
And they step with their right foot.
It's like, did you not have a parent?
Yeah, what the fuck was your dad doing?
You have a friend?
That's even more important.
It's like, if you don't have a boy to be like, yeah, what are you doing?
Yes.
A group of kids bullying you into thinking you're gay is the most important part of the first 10 years of your life.
It's absolutely crucial.
And I actually had, dude, Ben, Ben was around that age during, like, the COVID lockdowns and, like, had to stay home from school and shit.
And then, like, so we spent, like, two years where I had to just bully him every day.
because he didn't have other kids yeah every day i was just like yo don't forget it's cold out there
you know what i mean i know i know you think dad's a nice guy but guess what you're a fucking
yeah yeah yeah yeah i'd like rough house with him and he like didn't like it and i was like yeah i don't
want to be i don't like this either i hate this i didn't want to hurt you also i have shit i need to be
doing all day fucking with you this sucks yeah doing a hundred push-ups hundred sit-ups and a
get up
we're doing
it's in the yard
I know you are
I know you're off today
I know you're tired
but fuck
it's never sweet
this is the rest of your life
we're talking about right now
that's going to be the title
your documentary
every sweet
when you make it to the NFL
that you're not going to be great
You see
Snover out there
Pick yourself off
We're standing in the
In the yard
Catch length apart
Not even throwing a ball
And I'm just like
Yeah who picked your shorts
Pussy
The fuck man
And Morgan
Morgan Freeman's going to be
narrating it
Nice slides
Bitch
Is your boyfriend
Like him?
You're not even
throwing a ball
We're not even that far
from each other
Oh, no, spread out a little bit.
Spread out a little bit.
What are you going to be so close to another man for?
Well, well, well, that isn't the human pause machine.
Sun's coming down here.
Let's get back in.
Come on, good job.
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
Mom loves you, dear.
Mom loves me.
Oh, man.
I can do that for adult men, too.
Yeah, I think everybody needs it.
So it's certain, yeah, a certain.
Malcolm Gladwell.
Oh, dude, I have a sports thing.
I have a sports thing.
I have a sports.
I think we should do a sports cast.
I would love to.
We talked about this years ago.
Yeah, I could be the guy doesn't know anything.
What?
I could be the guy that doesn't know how to do anything or contribute.
Even better to have a guy learning.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I'll be the stand in for the viewer.
I'll be the guy, you know, the...
Just do the plethora of all sports and we go do one thing every week or so.
Dude, I would love that, man.
Do wiffle ball, bowling, darts, baseball.
basketball, football.
But it doesn't have to be like full
crazy shit. It's just an aspect
of each sport. You know what I mean?
You're both looking at me at the same time. I can do some stuff.
The whole time you're just
you're focused on whatever you're doing but you're still
just doing this. There's just more action.
That's way better than just regular
podcasting for sure. Yeah. I want to know
what you guys think about this. Or if you've heard
about it and I'm the last person to know.
Okay, remember how everyone was pissed off about the Riyadh
Comedy Festival? You remember?
Remember that from, you remember that from the other day?
Yes.
Everyone's so fucking pissed off.
Are you fuck with me?
I was just making sure.
Of course, it's everywhere.
So, um, did you know that they're actually like buying everything in entertainment?
Like, this is just one more thing.
Like, they have like F1 and soccer and golf and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, in next year, um, Tom, they got Tom Brady to round up a bunch of like current and former
pros.
I think Sequin's going to do it.
Sequin Barclay's going.
They're going for a flag football tournament for the Prince of Saudi Arabia.
and it's supposed to be like a multi-year development thing
where I think you're going to see like
big name retired dudes that can't take a hit anymore
but also like are probably not ready for broadcast
and they're all going to go over there
and they're going to play flag football in the desert for the prince
I kind of like it
I think it's sick as hell
I think the NFL is so fucking lame right now
that Saudi football might have the potential to take off
I got no problems with that
get your fucking hands cut off for fucking
stealing a guy fine
Yeah, you pick your quarterback off
You're fucking hand cut off
No one's mad when you beat the fuck out of your baby mom anymore
You don't have to do it like a news thing about it anymore
Your publicist gets fired
Yeah, we're all Ray Rice's
Yeah, I got no problem with like, you know
Wrangling up all these like damaged
fucking animals
That sacrifice their body and mind for the sport
And just like go have fun somewhere
they're going to pay them an extraordinary amount of money.
Of course.
Yeah, a lot of these guys say they need that next because they're paying six baby
mamas, you know.
Right, and their brain doesn't work.
Yeah, fuck it.
Flight football in Saudi Arabia for princes, it's better than comedy.
I'd watch that in a heartbeat.
Do you think they're identifying players by perceived skill level now or the most damaged
and the guys that they could probably get?
That's a great question.
Like different leagues.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like psychopaths.
Yeah.
Like current day.
Louis like yeah all like middle linebackers linemen running backs all the people with the biggest
head hits oh my god cornerbacks safeties all one squad all the palomalus yeah oh my god yeah
yeah too also is everyone aware that they're doing flag football in the olympics in 2028 yeah i've heard
this i didn't know that yeah i was but i did get i did get trapped i watched flag football there's like
uh the NFL has like a a league where there's like teenagers they'll have like 12 to 15 and the
have like 18 to 20
and their flag football
like teams
5 on 5, 7 on 7
I forget what it is
it's fucking entertaining
Dude you ever seen
Frisbee football?
Frisbee football
Frisbee football
Do not sleep on it
It is
Is that ultimate frisbee
Or is that a different thing?
Okay yeah yeah
Essentially yeah
It is first of I played it
I played it with comics
In Brooklyn
Is there any contact?
No
No but it's not
nonstop speed and movement and accuracy.
It's fucking no joke, dude.
I gained a lot of respect.
And I watched these kids play and I get a lot of, you know.
Now, who's the sanctioned by the NFL?
I think so.
Yeah, I think it was NFL sanctioned event.
Do you think the Saudis are going to compete with them?
Like, Saudi have their own 12 to 15 league
and they're buying for Jerry Sandusky to come out
and go coach the kids over there.
Oh, dude, that's so funny.
You got to make changes.
You got to morph into something else.
Everything's already been taken.
Using political pressure to free Sandusky
and bringing him to Saudi Arabia
to coach flag football is the best
move. It's perfect fit. He's got the name. He's in his name. He's alive.
Yeah, he's alive and he's still like kind of
involved in Penn State football. Like they're still
you know, they're smuggling messages and guys asses asking
what they should do with like their secondary and shit.
Yeah, I mean, child sex crimes aside,
he was a defensive mastermind.
Yeah, yeah. It's, I don't know, you just can't,
I don't know. Somebody's
somebody's picking those
uh fucking fruits
that's the question
was just how much child come
affected his decision making
did he get
did he lose his power
when eight-year-olds weren't
blasted in his mouth
yeah the crown prince is going to like
slide a shot of kids come
on the table too
just drink it what is it
there's been a kid flight
there's going to be a shark
puberty board
with 12 year old
love of boys on it
and he's going to be eating
them like cocktail shrimp
He's going to be sucking kids' dicks
Dipping them in tartars off
All expressions are going to be pumped
This has a note of carbon
I could get used to this
And you say this is a shark cutie pie board
This is medium spicy for you guys
You know Jerry San Dusky hot ones
Can I get the
That one's Iranian
I can tell that's Iranian
He doesn't have a dad
Yeah
That's Moroccan
They put cinnamon in that cum
Cinnamon sweet
Should be that sweet
You guys are the best
I love you so much
You want to plug something
Dad meat.
Check out Dad meat.
Check out all our stuff.
Tim Barley's show.
Little Stinkers.
Getting some head.
I have a show at the Creek in the Cave
every second and fourth Tuesday of the month
called the Butterly Effect.
I'm really good at putting together
killer lineups and having a great time there.
So I'd love for you to come check that out.
Over to you, Mike.
Yeah.
All that stuff.
I'll type of that too.
Tim is the funniest fucking comedian on the planet.
Please go see him live.
There's nobody I would rather see more than Tim.
Wow.
Go see him.
I'll throw it back to Mike.
Go see him instead, actually.
Oh, yeah, but also one other thing.
I do have a true crime card game I'll put a guy called Satan's Helpers
where you play defense attorney to defend some people like Jerry Sandusky,
Taylor's Shibisness, Casey Anthony, Ed Gein, all those people.
It's a really fun party game.
It's available now at my website on perks.com.
All right, guys, thank you.
This has been a dad mate, Mike Rainey, Tim Butterley.
Go to look at this YouTube.
It's a new episode dropped every Thursday.
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Thank you. Thanks for that coming in.
