Stuff Island - Dad Meat - Stuff Island #212

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

Dad Meat joins Tommy this week. Dad Meat is a comedy podcast hosted by Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey. The two can be seen on Kill Tony, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast and Gas Digital Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-.... Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. #ad For a limited time, our listeners get 60% off for life AND 2 Free Gifts when you use [STUFFISLAND] at Men Go To https://www.Mars.com and use code [STUFFISLAND] at checkout. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://www.RocketMoney. com slash STUFFISLAND today. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash STUFFISLAND. RocketMoney dot com slash STUFFISLAND. It’s finally time to stop crushing your balls in uncomfortable jeans by going to https://www.theperfectjean.nyc. Our listeners get 15% off your first order plus Free Shipping, Free Returns and Free Exchanges when you use code [STUFFISLAND15] at checkout. That’s 15% off for new customers at https://www.theperfectjean.nyc with promo code [STUFFISLAND15]. After you purchase, they’ll ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our showand tell them we sent you. F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope  #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a sockless boy? No, they're in there. Okay. Yeah. Mostly no-shows, but the actual no-shows, they don't work for me. They're like condoms and they just, my week. Ones that only come halfway up the top of your foot. They're like looped to like block all.

There's no coming back from that as a dude if you ever go into the half-foot sock. Half-foot sock. And it's also like they're for the shoes of men that, you know, you despise. like Wall Street right sorry yeah I got on my fucking stockings on the floor clipboard tossed across the room there's a control what was that 10 seconds stop guess who didn't sleep yeah you know what I mean yeah dude it's his birthday month get off his fucking day yeah I treat it like a white girl says it it's but I don't say anything what day is your is the fifth uh 21st oh really yeah it was Friday I was like you were before

I was I would saw you were December I don't know you can text me to war if you want I'm sorry I will that's fine he's done he's been trying out different moods in 24 hour periods I've seen brady I've seen grumpy I caught a couple of minutes of smiling that was cool yeah when was this uh was I there yeah I it might have been you might have been on like the precipice of blacking out. Yeah. And you call it one. He hit his groove and then it was lights out.

Yeah. I'm getting great at drinking. Do you know what I mean? I got to get worse. I'm getting too good. Because I'm fucking time traveling, but you wouldn't even know it. You know,

I'm on two feet having good conversation. So what's your sweet spot? Alcohol wise? Yeah, as far as how many drinks? What are you drinking? A sweet spot's like two, two double Mezco. that's like that's when

that's when you get to the top of the roller coaster yeah you know what I mean the click click click's all done and then we're having some fun and then you know after that it really it just piles up I said this before but I wish I wish I was a guy like shit in his hand

and smeared it on walls and fucking took a shirt off at a waffle house your eyes were a bad color yeah yeah yeah your uh your body's like kind of dirt tan yeah I push a waitress at dinner Like something You're constantly getting punched

Your friends are like Buddy Yeah You gotta Always getting punched in the face Yeah It was like when Shainer Fucking stopped drinking

Yeah Guy had a cast on Every three weeks And a black eye Here in there It's like How many black eyes Before somebody goes

Yeah I think you're the common Denominee here Yeah How many fights Have you been in In a month Yeah

It's crazy I'm trying to think Of like Anytime that we got Fucked up together Like I've never I've never seen either of you out of control

No I don't know if I've ever been out of control No Like Yeah It's not a good thing It's not a good thing No

Let's just say that It's not a fucking I'm not proud of this Some guys Some guys push it to the limit Drinking wise And then they catch the ski lift You know what I mean

Like they take all As soon as I hit the point Where it's too much I'm like so tired Yeah that's what happens I have nothing left I don't know how guys do that And like start shoving people

Yeah Or like Yeah Having a sleep tantrum Like, staring at people at the bar. Yeah. I don't know where you get that level of, like, focus and determination. Yeah.

Probably childhood trauma. Would you be willing to try it this year? Like, work on the right mixture to get you fucked up to be mean. Put me where you want me and I'll drink as much as you tell me to it and I'll see what's up. We could run the study. I fucking love this idea. Yeah. I'm talking like sock the fattest girl at the bar kind of drunk.

Yeah. We'll do impractively. I'll have you guys in an earpiece. Spind her face, call her slut. My friends were. well I was just talking a fucking pig dude an X-rated

is there because I was from before I'll do a violent and practical joker's so funny dude just in a dog shit down

get in the call her boyfriend yeah get in the canine training suit just doing a you're going to you're going to pull your guy

latch on your arm no Coke is the oh once I stopped doing that much more in control because coke it just it eliminates the fog right so like you're drinking your body doesn't know you're getting wet brain and the coke comes in like turns it back on

you're just a fresh log of the fire yeah you're just floating and you don't know how fucking disabled you are until that high comes down and you smash your fucking mental you think you've got in control. Yeah. And then physically your fucking you're a fucking you're wobbly bodley poster.

Yeah. I've only fell on my face once on the concrete. Did you get banged up? Yeah, it was by myself. I think I talked about on the pot, didn't I?

How I got my black eye doing the Super Bowl commercial? You already filmed it? Yeah. First half. Okay. No, there's only the first half.

Okay. And I was a host of like this Jeopardy-style thing with Sam Talent and two of the Lions players. I'm in Ross St. Brown and Jemir Gibbs. And filmed the first half, had to come back, watch the Eagles playoff game by myself in Detroit

when we beat the Rams in the snow. Whoa, yeah. And then I was walking home and just fucking, just Charlie Brown's face right into fucking concrete. Is he the one that slips? Yeah, they move the football. Yeah. Yeah.

Give it a whirl. Yeah, we should do drunk Olympics. Yeah. Let's have a little fucking obstacle course of sports All fucked up Maybe this is misplaced confidence But I really feel like I can put on a show

Yeah But I've also taken some sober spills That would really alarm people Yeah You ever break a bone? I fractured my orbital Oh my God Slipping on ice

You fell forward Well I was doing a 180 Wait We were There was a car dealership With a frozen On a bike? No

On a foot There's a frozen puddle In front of a car dealership between our bus and our high school. Yeah. And me and my buddy, Vince Vody, uh, were late to school because we were running and trying to see if you could slide the entire puddle in the shoes. And then we started adding a little bit of a flare to it.

And I tried to slowly do a 180 as I went and my feet came out. My hands were in my pockets and I went to face first in the ground. That's fucking insane. The only bone I've ever broken was my face. Did you know how you were fucked up immediately? Uh, yeah. Well, no, because I got up and I thought there were dead leaves falling out of my hair, but it was blood

falling onto the ice hands in the pockets it's like a fuck it's just your Jaguar tear oh my god I never heard the end of it that's how you balance I mean

you know yeah you can study the tape now but someone had to record it yeah God thank God we didn't have

recording us growing up sorry you know imagine you might as well put a camera right

over that fucking clock right there man yeah it's the homo pro how'd you guys said you guys talk about skank fest on dad me a little bit barely man um yeah we barely saw each other like i got to see you a little bit i fucking i did i did the right thing i was coming off the road with chain i was very tired and i knew i was going to get sick yeah you know and i kind of disappeared after shows i'd hang around the green room before and after shows and then i'd go fuck off walk around the city Sleep in a little? I heard... I did get blacked out the first night.

Yeah, I forget who it was, but someone assisted you finding the entrance to your hotel. Chainer. Yeah, he said you look completely lost. He caught me in the lobby, fucking ghostwalking. You were trying to find the front door of your own hotel. Yeah. And it seemed hopeless.

Yes. Yeah. But aside from that. How close? Right after that, I was a good boy. He was on the corner. Yeah. I was doing a 180 to my hotel room.

Was your controller stuck? He did. yeah no it was it was fucking great you know yeah it was my favorite time ever this year yeah as opposed to all the other years yeah really yeah i really i really liked new orleans i like that it was pretty fucked up but still fun yeah um i liked the festival itself um it was the most involved i've ever been it was just the best ever yeah okay sorry no that was my whole thing on Skagv. I was holding that in. It was my favorite. It was my favorite.

And they included me in so much stuff. Everyone was nice to me. My favorite color is blue. Fucking road trip. Tell me about I was school, huh? We were talking about the guy that got his

ribs broken. They spiked his drink on Bourbon Street and then stole all his clothes and broke his ribs and emptied his bank accounts. What? Yeah. Hookers are really good. That happened the first night. I was going to say, was he chasing a hooker? No, it was shot girls And they'll give you a shot with fucking GHB Oh no

And it'll wipe your hard drive And then they'll like usher you into a waiting car And it sounds so far fetched until you like actually like Oh it makes total sense See these people Yeah And it's like oh yeah They're capable of that

Are they shot girls like outside of a bar? Yeah In the middle of Bourbon Street like on the corner Oh okay so they're pretending they're part of an institution Yeah Yeah drinks biking huge in New Orleans I didn't know Yeah

That's crazy Yeah they fractured his skull fucking broke his ribs. And then there's a picture of him at the festival the next day like, ugh. He's still partied.

Nothing about respect. Did he have a black eye? Yeah, his face was on his head. He had some abrasions. I think I talked to this guy. Probably. One guy had a black eye

and said he got jumped. Yeah. And robbed. That was him. That was him? Yeah. So he just took a shot from some fishnet horror?

Uh-huh. Got loopy. And when you go down, they stuff you car they'll peel you away from your group so why the did he fall did you get the fracture from the fall or he get fucked up from i don't know i don't know if they beat him up or they just threw him out of a fucking moving car no you know what it's weird is on thursday night when i i drove there and when i got to town i went to bourbon street to meet up with everybody at uh larry

flint's club of course and i got to bourbon street at like 1 a m and it was like it does it's not crowded all night i feel like you're deliberately not saying the words barely legal yeah i would I would prefer not to say I didn't even go there Yeah Yeah For that reason Yeah

Gee Mike had a really funny A bit about it He said barely illegal Is that in reference to their ages Or their immigration status Come the fuck on You know But there was a guy

As I was driving down on Burma Street There was a guy laying on the ground shirtless head with like a goose egg on it And Open wound bleeding onto a Zachomico t-shirt The guy was actually The whole guy was stapled to Zach's sack

That's you gotta look out for a verbal street They'll staple you to Zach Miko's penis Can you imagine a slower elk of a crowd For these fucking dudes Goal, guess who's coming to town Yeah, it crawls into your hindquarters Yeah, 300 men built like eggs and get this they're spiking their own drinks

they do have to work my god yeah but he didn't look like he didn't look like he was associated with the festival it's just another guy checking out the drinking town right and uh he's no help coming he didn't look like he was in a rush to rectify the situation he like he was still lying flat

and he had a buddy sitting on the ground next to him kind of just like waiting for him to come out of it yeah it's funny because even after uh you know that fucking car wiped out like 30 people. There's no cop presence down there. You know what I mean? There was no... There's a couple horses there, shitting.

Then they fucking... The cop wasn't caring about anything. They weren't even police cops. I mean, police horses. Yeah, this is on vacation. She drugged the cops, stole the horse. The derby off-season is where I come. Yeah, Bourbon Street's a fucking cartoon, but the rest of that town,

if you made it up anywhere, it's, I love fucking New Orleans, man. Yeah, we walked through the French quarter late at night. That was very fun. There's a ton of restaurants there that are fucking magnificent. Some of my favorites in the country. Yeah, everything about a high-class operation. Yeah.

Yeah, my wife and I, we went to a voodoo shop, and we talked to a voodoo priestess who she's like, she's like, are you purposely leaving out that it was called? he said one in that's gonna crush him he told me last time last time you're on and we went on that rant

me and Kim he was so patting he listened to the episode like three times through and make sure he gets broke dude that's the next software Josh you need to develop the software

which gets rid of N words and F-bom Oh, my God. So good. But, yeah, we were at Antiamima. But, dude, I sat down. I just wanted the experience. And there's this beautiful, gigantic black woman with blue eyes.

And I was like, well, look at this lady. Contacts. Yeah. Well, that's what my wife said. I was like, well, she's definitely black, all right? And, like, she's like, can you get your wife in here? I was like, well, what the fuck? I wanted to have this.

So I called my wife in, and she's like, is one. She's like, you have three kids, but one of them is about to leave. And we're like, whoa, like, our oldest is 22. She's like, she's like, how can I say this? She's like, she has a tendency to gravitate towards bad men. And both of my wife and I are equally racist. And we're just like, yep. And she gave us a recipe for like an amulet to create to keep our daughter away from bad men.

Yeah. It's a job application. I'm just going to say that. She's going to wear it around her neck. Yeah. Like bulbs of garlic She's just Carding job

It's just a student Yeah How do you feel About job application Pants suits Yeah It's a laminated Job application on a lanyard

Yeah The back is a mortgage on time It'll be $80 Please Fuck They told her to lose 25 pounds It's just

rolling in a treadmill whole hate you after this Oh man How much was it like 25 bucks 40 I think Yeah Yeah There's a ton of palm readers

And shit down there too Yeah that was fun Yeah I did this girl in In Jersey I met her in Atlantic City On a boys trip

I was like 26 Body of a goddess I got hard watching her Walk out of a pool Like that kind of like Crazy, but head Like a fucking Yeah

No, she had a nose Like it was on a car wash sign It was like, or a pizza box It was a fucking It had angles It was like a fucking windy road In the mountains It like it started before her fucking

Before her eyebrow And ended below her lip It was like two in one dude But holy Christ The tits just so fucking hot and she she worked for this

like credit card machine company where like they would just go into regular businesses and say how much per swipe is this company charging you and they beat it and she was very successful She'd swipe her schnaz Yeah And then

she called me she went to like this famous What was that old fucking bag that used to do Readings on like Mari That fucking ghost of a bitch Sylvia Brown Yeah She went to her or like another like top of their you know of their field type sorcerers headliners headliners

and uh she calls me and says hey i just i got this reading from this woman and she said are you are you hooking up with this guy from philadelphia uh tony or something she's like Tommy yeah there's no way there's connection right there's so possible i was only hooking up for like a month and a half. She goes, I've, I've, uh, I've news for you. He's going to move to New York City and be closer to you. So she calls me and tells me in this. This is before I was doing comedy. Yeah. And I was like, okay. Yeah. And she goes, she also told me a lot more. And I was like, okay, tell me. She goes, I can't. I can't tell you yet. Why? Oh, she's like, you're going to be very successful and there's very specific things that she told me that I think are going to come true.

And then we stopped talking We stopped talking up Because she was in fucking Atlantic City I'm gonna drive there all the time Tits are great but She should have picked up on that much She heard success Yeah yeah

It was not gonna be near Atlantic City And then And then things started happening for me And this is the fucking most embarrassing thing In the world I forget her name mail But I went I went back in my phone And I called her

And I left a message Saying hey This is Tommy We met you know Five years ago in Atlantic City, you talked to some psychic and she gave you some information on me and my future.

I just wanted to catch up and see, like, you know, what the fuck was it? What should I do next, actually? What did she say was the next thing? I'm on a bolt bus. It's not really working out. And if I just had a hint at what the next thing was, maybe I can work towards that. Dude, did you change your contact name from NOSC to K-N-O-W-S?

We could cut that as well. Please, Josh. Take a picture, Josh. Take a picture of that corner. Just anything with an end. Just get rid of. Yeah, but that was like the only... Did she never got back to you?

No. Never responded. You called Sylvia Brown, man. You got the money now. That bitch is fucking dead, right? No, I don't think so. Well, there's other ones. I mean...

No, I don't want to, I dip my toe in that fucking pole of weirdos. You know what I mean? But they say one thing that's right. And then you're like, you're back in your pockets, like scratchoffs. I can't believe it. You get one fucking win. You go, I'm going to waste my kids fucking retire me. It's so funny.

My next win. You approached like palm reading, like a gambling addict. Yeah. I'm just going to get one more reading. This one's going to be good. You're the sloppel. You're parlaying fortunes. Yeah, I don't, uh, yeah, I don't partake.

I don't believe in that stuff too much. Next year, I'll take it to the lady I went to, man, because it was very odd. Like, some of the things she came up, but she's like, do you, right? yeah next year she's gonna be drugging fucking fans I think that's like a pop-up shop they're there for fat idiots to lose their money they're not actually reading bombs sorry I mean you might

yeah they're there for fat freckled fucking is what they're there for yeah it's like Super Bowl comes to the town everybody set up a table pretend you fucking you know the stars make a couple bucks for once you know you're too fat you get a real job anyway

it's getting hurtful now Tom not you again not Not you. All right. This episode is brought you by Cash App. You know them. You love them.

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Dot app slash new to learn more about this and other great features launching now. For limited time, new cash app customers can earn $10 if they use the code Cash App 10 in their profile at sign up and spend, oh, no, you send $5 to a friend within 14 days of signing up. Terms apply. Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank, banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC, Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cashback off. and promotions provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures this episode's brought to you by rocket money guys again you you know these guys we've been talking about them for for years you think you got a solid handle on your budget you think that you idiot you don't maybe your spreadsheet says you do uh but you should

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For sure You feel my fucking fingers You get 86 to the fan I got blacked out with Ryan Donahue last night It's like stop taking fucking pictures Of the time stamps And make it more comfortable in here, Josh What the hell?

Yeah, Josh Maybe that's why Maybe we're trying to heat it all Take a picture of the fucking thermostat Yeah That's a guy that shows up to a palm reader Look at this fucking kid Glow in the dark

Allergic to the sun Come here, let me show you something Now, you dress like an undercover cop That actually shows up to get sex After he's done his mission It's like, no, no, no, I'm here on my own right now Yeah, yeah Just you do look like you're about to pull a badge out

From inside that shirt Nobody fucking moves On the fucking ground now He's just in a Boston Red Sox game Hat down past his eyes I'm next, I was waiting line I think you look great I think you look great

hands up wow now that the fan's going I've got a high-pitched tone in my left ear really for anybody else I don't know podcasting for six hours today Mike's here has been ringing

for fucking three years look at these hot dogs stuck on the side of his fucking head looks like he chewed up and spit out of a hot dog now I realize like now I wish looking back like I should have tried to reshape them

because my wife we did drain them and I was like I don't care like I'm not telling you about that it wasn't bad man it's actually uh uh you just lay on your side and she pokes it with a pin yeah we would just sit in a chair and and uh my buddy gave me a box of hypodermics and uh we would just sit there and this fucking good dude anthony if you're watching man thank you for the needles man but yeah we would just sit there and uh yeah once once they start blowing up it's it's easy to fucking i see i thought it was like uh what do you call cartharized cart what is the cartilage hardens Why are you saying that like an Asian lady?

Cartarage. Cartarage. Is that what it's called? Cardilage. No, I know cartilage, but wait, what's it called? I think carterize is like, you're kind of like burning something for the sake of like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like veins and stuff. Yeah, you carterize to stop the bleeding.

Yes, right. Yeah, right. It's like soldering for doctors. All right. Yeah. It's fucking spot on, dickheads. It's human well. So anyway, I thought it was a hard.

Harden cartilage. Eventually, yeah. Like, now it's hard as shit because I didn't. It's goo at first, though. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's malleable until you don't address it for a while. Yeah. And then at that point it ends up taking the shaggy.

Yeah. You want to touch it? You want to touch it? Don't play? Oh, my God. I'm hungry. So can you get a cut out now and then reshape your ear? Yeah, I can have it done, but I mean, I'm going to...

It's kind of sick, dude. Keep doing jiu jitzer. Yeah. You know? If I look like you, I might have addressed it better. Yeah. maybe i i i can cause got cauliflower liver

i don't it did ooze for a while now it's hard as fuck you reshaped it yeah you know i fucking came up with a very what i thought is a funny idea and a cool like uh christmas like a stocking stuffer idea

is like mhm a ears but headphones because that's nice yeah because people are scared of dudes with ears like this and you can just just cap on your ears and go to like a and they're just like silicone MMA ears so no one fucks me. You get those.

You get the, Ear tufts. Yeah. Fuck. You're back. Now you don't have to delete the other one. Josh, throwing inward in there for me.

Yeah, ear tufts. Whoa. Isn't that a good idea? I think it's great, man. You know? Just putting hemorrhoids on your fucking normal ears. Just so people are like,

that guy's fucking, that guy's put working. I mean, this is proof of concept, so I would get the work on it to you. Yeah. How many years does it take to start getting the... I got this within like six months, man, because I just...

I was like struggling to get out of like guillotines and triangles and I would always try to muscle my way out. Oh, really? So they just end up getting smashed. Is not wearing the headgear, kind of like not wearing a helmet riding a bike because you don't want your friends to call you? Yeah, there was a guy that would wear head gear

and it's like, come on, man, what are you doing? Yeah. That's what I mean. So you kind of like, you look down on that. Yeah, there's no one where's going to wear it. going to wear it. You don't wear his hat gear. And if a guy does, you go, great.

That's going to fucking be pressed against my forehead at some point. Tim, do you remember the guy who smelled like piss? We're headgear and wore sunglasses? No. He wore. Was he a crossing guard? So when we came back. Yeah.

He wasn't in class. I'm just working on takedowns. Then when we came back from COVID, he didn't feel safe. And so he was, yeah, you think I fucking feel safe rolling with that? He was already a headgear guy. And then he got like a Batman. and visor like when basketball players have a broken nose type situation and a like almost like a bane mask and he trained like that every day and his his geese seriously smelled

like fucking witch piss he was what was that counteracting I he he was running his laundry with alien blood or something and it would get into your nose and honestly had like the ammonia would hit the back of your skull if you even breathe And now, and also he was really good. He was a brown belt. So he'd be smog, he'd be fucking you up. And you're just, probably why.

Well, dude, it was not. You just wanted the experience to fucking end. So naturally you're going to go limp against his fucking road. I've heard this is like a, this is like a plague that people do. It's like, you don't bathe in competition for sure. But he just training. Everyone's just like, no, fan. That shit.

We don't do that. Also, was it worth the fucking $50 a month membership? Like, as an owner going, get the fuck out of here. You got to make a safe space for everybody. Dude, it should be addressed more often, especially in his case, because, like, if you have all that shit on, dude, just fucking, why are you even coming? Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Yeah, the fucking Undertaker mask really made me giggle, man. He made it to brown belt, though. That's pretty fucking. Yeah, he was phenomenal. What are you purple? Blue. I'm a lapsed purple for sure.

What? I haven't, I only just started training again recently. And, uh... What's a latch mean? Lapsed. I'm lapsed. I'm wapsed. I'm waiting.

I'm getting beat up by guys that are. like not as immersed as I am because you're coming back from it you're slow, you suck, you don't remember everything stamina. Also, you're a 10th planet where everybody's fucking Oh yeah, yeah, and now we train a 10th planet where it's like everyone there is kind of like full-time hobbyers. Yeah, they're still trying to get to the leagues.

Yeah, they have a lot of real fighters too, but they're all friendly but yeah, they beat your fucking ass but at least everyone smells kind of okay. Yeah, that's cool. Who's the stinkiest? that should be an award they give at the end of class there's got to be one guy and also breath are we smelling anyone's breath the ghee more than anything else

and spirit of full disclosure I was the stinky guy for a little bit because it was at my when I first started training at BJJ it's like I made $1,100 bucks every two weeks and the cheapest ghee on Amazon is maybe like 60 bucks and you gotta get three four of these things right

you gotta run the system like Bart Simpson money bags over here yeah but uh Four fucking geese. Tom, I'm telling you, man, this is like how little money I had at the time when I first started training. All right.

And I started training in the summer and, like, you have to wash your shit as soon as you're done. Or at least, like, if you're going to use it again like that night or something, you got to hang it up. Yeah. But I accidentally left it in the trunk one day

and it was hot as shit. Mushrooms. Dude. It was, it was so fucking ripe. And it's like when you wash it, you think it smells nice, but then the bacteria fucking gets kick.

Especially when you sweat, as soon as moisture hits it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. bikes back up. It gets gross real quick. Yeah, it's like that ghee would fucking start flaring up

and it wasn't until like, you know, it took me like a month or so before I was able to have an extra 60 bucks to get a second gear for that first. I wish she told me

what I got you a game. For a month, he walked around like a human hockey glove. Yeah, too. Hockey's probably the worst smelling. Yeah,

it never goes away. My boy, Cooch's brother, Joe had a fucking hockey bag that smelled like it was a stinky nasty fox. Dead grandma was in there for a fucking month.

just detectives just roaming around with a flashlight in the basement looking through his pads yeah the gloves i mean they're very expensive there's expensive sports where you can't really discard hockey's one of them yeah the gloves alone are probably two 300 bucks right yeah can't toss those if they're getting sweaty mitts in them no it's like now there's i don't know i guess they're i don't know if it's innovation but it's like you look now where they have like spike set up like on a rack where it's like when you take your shit off like you put it on air drying

or something like that yeah which definitely helps more than shoving shit right in the bag yeah of course yeah also I think people are just more conscious of that shit now than they wear where like you don't have to fucking stink

whereas do you get your geese on Amazon or you gotta go to like an Italian fucking tailor to a tailor yeah you just get random ass sizes everybody's shape different no it is and like all the geese are fucking built differently so it's like it's always a crapshoot

it's always a pain in the ass where if you spend $200 on the ghee and it doesn't fit properly because, you know, like... Is it legal to get it tailored? Yeah, you can do whatever you want. It's like, look at football in the 90s with the jerseys.

You can easily grab them. They look like, you know, like how NBA stars in the 90s dressed on fucking draft day. And now you look at, they're all wearing condoms. So it's like, isn't it better to have a sleek fitting ghee?

Or is that a legal? Competition would be better whereas, like, I think just training, it's more comfortable. It's like, you don't really give a fuck if somebody gets a handful of you. Yeah. I got questions.

Do you think our jih Tzu ladies, I think Jiu Jitsu ladies might, and this is maybe conjecture, but I think they have a thing where it's like, you got to be really aware if you're pussy stinks or not. Dude, to that point. Because you're sitting on people's heads. Me, myself, I've never had a stinky pussy lady sit on my head, but I know they have to be self-conscious about it. I think they make like sport corks where you put it.

This episode's brought by me. If you can plug it until you're done training and they're like a male sense Gway that just goes Plug it in man All right

So we just burst We got ear tufts fucking sport course God The stink of a push Just to smell it from With a distance Usually you got to bust the crust

To get this fucking set And she's been working out for an hour and a half. Yeah, we're talking about like fucking, you know, treadmill pussy. Not stink puss. Sting pussy is nice. Treadmills is nice. It's a little, you know, a little swipy-dipy. You know?

That was crazy. That's your Fortnite emo, man. There's a bit of that. That's sexy, but, you know, stink puss. She's not fucking dabbing up herself going, can I go to practice today or not? Yeah. You know what I mean? You fuck a stink puss and you're like, didn't you check?

It's ignorance. You have to be ignorant to deliberately disobey or disregard that thing. Yes, this was a set date. You knew I've been dodging the fuck you for a long time. And finally I go, all right, let's meet for a drink. I'm going to pound. Yeah. Don't you take a shower and take a dip and go, you know what?

I'm going to pound. I'm going to take today off. And I'll catch you tomorrow. I don't feel well. Go get a fucking pill. have diarrhea for 24 hours and clean that fucking you know what I mean

well they take a diarrhea pill to make their pussy smell good yeah it's got to kill all the bacteria kills all the good stuff that's why you piss out your ass when you take an STD pill I don't know that whoa

yeah it's a giant fucking whatever 600 milligram of some you know chemical that wipes every bacteria out including the good ones and it fucks up your stomach lining so you just piss out your ass everything for about 12 hours at least

can't keep anything down. On a smelly pussy note, when my wife and I went to the strip club at Skangfest last year, I wanted to get her lap dance, so I got her one, and the lady was very nice, and like, she didn't even charge us.

And afterwards, I was like, how was it? She's like, my wife was like, not great. She's like, she smelled like she had a yeast infection. Oh, no. Yeah, so imagine going to work like that. Wait, was this at the barely legal place? No. I don't know what that one blamed on me, by the way.

you always you always pull the cord pal anything i want cut out no josh when you edit that like make it zoom in on tim but only from like the lip up but tommy's voice so it sounds like it looks like it's coming from tim fuck fell in your trap but i mean to be a fair sport uh balls can get pretty rank as well balls can get pretty rank as well

yeah there's a kid that goes to my gym that that smells like fucking pissing he's and like he's younger fit as hell and i have to change locations because this place is old school it's like uh massios remember massio's jim and clifton yeah it feels like that where it's like all exposed brick and it's like old school true power lifting gym so it's all big bull dykes and fucking and young kids that want to like truly work out there you got to you got to find a machine and weights that match that kind of shit it's great but this kid they got fans blown in corners because they don't have AC in places like that. And anytime his kid's near

a fan, I got to fuck off. Because it just blows fucking piss at you. I mean, I think Agia is one thing, but to smell like piss and workout clothes is an accomplishment. Yeah, he worked up with O'Connor a couple times when he's depressed and he sleeps in his bed for like 48 hours. He just rolls around his fucking genitals.

And we do sets and I'd have to fuck off acting like I'm doing tries when we're both doing bench. I'm going to go here. I'll be back in a minute. Yeah. dude's got fucking parge running out of his ass I never once showered in the high school gym what I never once showered in our high school gym

yeah after gym class bird fear uh it's just I you know I never even confronted whatever yeah I guess no penis for the boys right and also I didn't want to see any fucking penises at school right and so I say it like that that was as far as I thought about it that was as deep as the thought got but so I had you know you had a gym uniform and I would throw it in my locker and maybe not wash it the same day it would eventually get washed but much like you the smell never leaves my smell was it was like a mushroom soup I'm going like a maple syrup on a car tire wow was my shirt smell wow yeah never got that's not bad I've never replicated it since is that from eating french toasticks in the morning you fat

Fuck. What the hell, dude? Now, I will say that I did fuck heavy with the Burger King cinnamonies across the soup of my eyes. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I was putting glucose in the pits. My shirt. Yeah, it's a titty boy delight.

I didn't realize my shit smelled exactly like IPAs until I stopped drinking. Like a very nice orange heavy liqueur. Right out my ass. I would bet my life. So you do sweat what you eat. You showered at school. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you? I did. Yeah, when I was on wrestling for like a month, I did because, you know, just about everybody else was doing it and I just desperately wanted to fit in, but it felt so unnatural in part

because sometimes the coaches would come in to shower with you. She, what? Yeah. What, wrestling? Yeah. Your wrestling coach would shower with you guys? Yeah.

Are we talking to the old school bonner cage? Yeah, like the, like the, it wasn't you shape, but it was like... Yeah, it was by the diamond? Yeah. Well, no, no, this was right by in the wrestling room. The wrestling room had its own shower. What?

Yeah. Every other sports shared a locker. No. Down by the baseball field. It was football, baseball, lacrosse. No, this was the back end of the gym. And they had the wrestling room and next to the wrestling room

was a small locker room and then you removed a piece of the wall in the wrestling room to access the shower. Dude, this is Sandusky type shit. This is a hidden fucking wall. There was no bad stuff happening. Our boys.

Yeah. Into the secret shower. Somebody helped me move this wall. Yeah. Whoa. Time to go to wet Narnia. Remember, guys, it's a secret. It doesn't even exist.

Keep this to yourselves. Your parents are never going to believe you anyway. Your brain is amazing. But the worst part of the guys would not stop wrestling. Like, guys would be wrestling in the shower. Of course, horny. Yeah. Oh, no.

Yeah. Wait, wait, hold on. I'm sorry. I talked over that. They keep wrestling in the shower, like working on moves? No, guys are fucking around. So it's like squirting each other with fucking shampoo. And their birds are just flopping?

Yeah, guys are show. Oh, man. They're doing car wash stuff together. Yeah, dude. This episode's brought to you by Mars Men. Josh, I just got this in the mail a couple weeks ago. And I'm on my third dose of Mars men. I just turned 46 on Friday.

Fuck you. You were late with the happy birthday text, to be honest with you. I was. Yeah, it was almost the next day. That's insane. Someone paying you. taunting you every day. You don't think I deserve a morning text

while you're making pancakes for your fucking dog? What I'm saying is testosterone levels are, you know, it's different. I just got tested. I'm a little above average, but, you know, at my age, you'll get it. You're acting all tough in that fucking Boston Red Sox fucking pullover. But I'm telling you, it's going to hit you like a brick wall

when you get to round 34. Piece of shit-ass old bitch. You're going to start understanding why these pills are powerful. Also, the packaging. Mars, knocked it out of the fucking part. Incredible. Your body makes testosterone, right? But a lot of it gets locked up and it can't be used. There's this protein called SHBG that basically handcuffs testosterone. Even if your body's making testosterone, HSBG locks it up so you can't access it. Like a fucking terrible X. Mars Ben is designed to help free lock testosterone so your body can actually use it. Whoa.

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you soap up keep your eyes to the fucking ground like prison you get the fuck out of there avoid the one black guy with a fucking his dick in a knot like a cherry stem

try not to wake it up as you're like right Damn. Cooch took a shit in one of the urinals in that fucking, that bathroom. Mr. Mooney was on the case for like three years. Oh, man. Legend.

Yeah, legend. Absolute legend. Took a big old fucking heater right in a, right in a urinal. Let it steam out like a fucking reptile section of a zoo. And my father probably cleaned it. My dad was like a part-time janitor. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's why I didn't laugh.

I'm sorry. God. Imagine Imagine his dad just whistling and wapping When he accidentally knocks off the The plywood panel And sees Mike in a closet getting wet with a coach Mike

Swinging the key ring around Slowly shuts the door Never talks to him again Honey What time did Michael get home Yeah. Was he lim? 6.30, but he smelled great.

Oh, man. Is he walking funny? That's crazy. I didn't know there was a hidden shower back there. Yeah, you removed a piece of the wall, and you go right in, and it was pretty big. It was like, I don't know, maybe like six showers. Your dad was a part-time janitor. Yeah.

Did you get a little tuition knocked off? Yeah, that's what, well, my entire fucking family worked there. Like, my mom was a secretary, my dad was a janitor, and my sister worked in the bookstores. I was a human slave. Yeah. I was a fuck sock Wait who else My sister worked in the bookstore

And so did my aunt Pat Who we saw today who looked like Ursula Yeah you gotta put Every aunt Pat in a fucking high school Yeah I don't care where she fits Yeah she belonged to the launch room Yeah yeah

But yeah it was I hated it It's like my family Your whole family was everywhere I was Yeah and your most vulnerable place in the world Yeah man I fucking hated it And uh So you'd run into them in the halls and stuff

Yeah I would see them all fucking day. There was one time we're like, I was mortified because a kid threw up in homeroom and Kyle Resowitz threw up in homeroom. Whoever cleans this is a fucking fat dude. And then your dad walks in with the bucket of sawdust.

He's scared. No he's not, man. He's my dad. He's the nicest, bravest man in the world. Man, those are the fucking best days. You just take a fat girl's throw up and just toss salt on his water.

It soaks it up like 20%. I'm sorry, yeah. No, but I was just praying that the guy that came to clean up wasn't going to be my dad. But it was another guy, Kevin something or other. We had a kid in our Catholic grade school and his dad was the, I don't know, janitor. But like he did everything for the school

and he showed up every day in like overalls in a flannel shirt. And he just did literally everything for this, you know, aging Catholic school in the hood in Philadelphia and when we got to I don't know if it was six or seventh grade but they gave us like a week of sex ed

and they split the boys and the girls up and the girls went with a nun and the boys went with this guy unexpectedly we went with this kid's dad the janitor yeah and he threw the sawdust don't come yeah

it takes care everything it's everything got a sawdust line stuck on his belly watch it's like macaroni art like an ant trail tried on the pussy juice

too yeah yeah and so this guy who like he was just like serious and quiet and kept the school nice but he just had very lurch

vibes or like the neighbor from pet cemetery oh yeah and he took us into a room with an overhead projector and showed us like diagrams of female anatomy.

Whoa. And it was, you know, just a pretty destabilizing experience for all of us. The puke guy is teaching us about pussy right now. This is crazy. Did it excite you at all? Uh, yeah, dude, I got fired. Me and the boys were bricked. Yeah.

I mean, I used to beat off to African tits on National Geographic when I was, you know, not to. That's where it all started with my infatuation with the, Don't you even think about going near that thing, Josh. What did you graduate to after that? Fatter tins. I mean, shit, dude. First was like walking down the tracks.

Like head at the St. Charles. Shortcut, finding porn mags, and then rolling them over the trolley track, straighten them out, fold them up, putting your backpack, jerking off to that. Then I started getting the porn mags. So then it went to the National Geographic. Then I started ordering porn mags.

I'm not ordering. I'd fucking, I'd pay some dude to go into the dirty bookstore and get me black mags. And I had fucking, my mom found a whole, a whole wobble bag. Yeah, it was like fucking something, slam X-L or whatever.

And it's just big fat-ass black chicks. And I had like a pack of like four or five of them behind my dresser. My mom found them. snooping little bitch Previous tenant I never seen that before Well I blamed on my brother

Because we shared a bedroom Diabolical And she believed him Because I was too young To be beaten off to these fucking glorious black bitches Man And then porn on the internet

Didn't come out until Fuck 97, 98 Yeah we were relegated The magazines and big tapes Yeah I watched my dad's VHS tapes I'm sorry He used to have a stack

A big stack He would put it behind his sneakers in his closet. So as soon as he left, I'd have to memorize the corners and how it was all arranged. And I go one, two, three, four, five. I'd pick one out.

I'd pop it in. It would start. And where it started was exactly where my dad came. And I was like, I got to get back to the spot. So I'd rewind a bit, beat off. And then I'd have to stop it right back where it was. Put it back in.

Make sure the corner fit. And get the fuck out. I had to do this within minutes because my brothers were always home. Do you think dads would notice if they started their tape back up and it was not where it was when they nutted previously?

I say no because he had so many. If there was two, three films, yeah. He had at least 15. Stacked up, ready to go. Sometimes he would forget that he had two in one, the VCR and a TV,

which sounds rich. The thing was like this fucking swan. That was like the bedroom television. So sometimes you go, in there. My mom brings me and my brother Brian in there to watch TV one night fires up the TV. It's just some dude on a fucking lawn chair with fake palm trees

just getting his dick suck on. Oh yeah. I've never seen her move so quick. She went she just jumps up and she starts slamming buttons slamming buttons. Me and my brother were probably like six and seven just watching this dude get fucking blown in front of fake palm trees. I still can do I can draw the image it's etched in my fucking skull.

The full body perspiration when you you finally you're done and you rewind it to the perfect spot and you take it out and then you're holding the VHS sleeve and the tape and you go oh my God was it yeah oh dude this I this was a mistake for the beginning

dude he fucking they would not have noticed he recorded over my championship football Raiders championship football game I'm going through the tapes I'm checking all the fucking you're gonna show your fucking girlfriend

and her friends you guys won't believe how good I was yeah remember I told you what a fucking scum 103 yards check this out

silver and blacked silver and black but then it was but then it was a internet point where we just go line by line yeah you know if you got to the belly button before Spoogeon, you're fucking...

Oh, man. You're a good boy. Man, those were the days. Like, I almost want to get... Just like I want to get a Nintendo just to relive that nostalgia. Like, I just want to get a VCR just to hear that.

Yeah. And just knowing what was going to happen. Yeah. It's like the HBO startup before the Sopranos. Yeah, the phone. Yeah. You know you're going to have a good fucking time.

Yeah. Hearing that fucking wheel go. You'll see some poor girl that was kidnapped in L.A. Yeah. Like 13. Pavlov's... Get her fucking teeth.

I love Pavlov's hog You salivate when you hear Yeah dude that That against the clock beat There was nothing like it man Yeah I remember like I ordered this tape

Like Howard Stern did something called the New Year's Rotten Eve page in 1994 And it was a pay-per-view event But you could also buy a VHS version And I did but it was like At a time where it took like Fucking two months to get anything in the mail And I ordered it

And we were about to leave for Disney The next day and I got home from whatever I was doing and my mom's like oh when you finish packing check out the package that came for you and I was like oh this has got to be it and I opened it I saw what it was and I was desperately waiting for everybody to go to bed

and that was the first time where I snuck the VCR upstairs pouring NyQuil into dinner yeah my fucking spaghetti tastes like my stomach hurts I don't think I'm going to eat I'm probably just going to hang out my room for a little bit just a VCR and a baseball minute

Catch upstairs. Did you get away with it? Yeah, I waited for everybody to go to bed. I snuck it up, and it sounded like a fucking, I don't know, like a 94 Civic starting. Yeah. And I got it to start. And there were so many fucking tits in this fucking thing.

It was incredible. Like good tits, bad tits, disgusting tits. Yeah. Everything that you could, every tit under the sun. Yeah. Was in Howard Stern, New Year's Rotten Eve patch. Yeah. And, uh, I think the one I think,

finished to was the most disgusting woman on there. And she was a pageant participant and every pageant participant will come up and say something about their personality or themselves. And this bitch, she looked like stuttering John ironically. She came up and the thing that she said was, I eat maggots

and that she walked off stage. Oh my God. Yeah, man. She was something else. Oh, another chapter was Spice Channel. Oh, yeah. Downstairs, television, we had that little box. Squiggly. The squiggly. And then we got We had Prism.

The only thing my dad paid for it because it's when they played the flyers. You could get some nasty stuff on Prism. Yeah. And then you did, after like midnight, they'd have, you know, burning snow. I watched a soft core called Burning Snow.

Yeah. I think that was the first. You remember the name. Yeah, I never forget. It was like they were out in the middle of fucking nowhere in the woods and it was a blizzard. And they just passed the time

by having a soft core orgy. Yeah. And it was at my Aunt Pat's apartment. hit pat add it again she was asleep on the smelly couch and like i just woke up in the middle night because i think we fell asleep watching like the fucking sixers or something yeah and i woke up and i was just like oh my god what is this yeah yeah there's what i know man every every single every single nut every one first of all you log them oh man five out of ten well no but god was clocking them god clocked every single one yeah and you go oh

Okay, I know this is getting out of hand, and I didn't mean to do that. And it won't happen again, and it happens again. You go, oh, my God, dude, I hopefully God forgot about the last one. Didn't you have a weird method? Like, you would mush it, but you wouldn't jerk it? Yeah. What? Yeah, I thought I was convincing God.

You'd make your dick look like his ears? You have to drain it? All right, well, this is, I guess this might be oversharing. Oh, Jesus Christ. He said the N-word three times. This might be oversharing. But I had two goals to accomplish. Number one, I wanted to convince God I wasn't even doing it on purpose.

Oh, you're serious. And number two, I thought a full-handed grip around your penis was actually kind of gay, your own penis. Like a black dude eating a hot dog? Yeah. You thought illogically. Yeah. So I would never, I never indulge.

in a full hand on my meat. Okay. I would go... You ever do the the karate chop? Bro? It's the explaining Italian

grandmother. Hey, yo, I'm fucking coming over. Oh. Come make it though. Oh, sit down. Hey. What did I get you?

What are you doing? What are you doing for people now? What do you mean? What do you mean you not? You're a guy? He's a Scotty. Yardier? I'm a bird and...

I'm burning I would I'm only sharing this in case there's other guys out there with real deep brain I would go down to literally the least amount of hand skin touching my penis as possible

and my method was to move all of the skin of my penis using as little of my two fingers as my thumb and maybe my index finger as I could and I would kind of yeah

wow and it's almost like a fetish and when you're hyper sensitive as a young boy right that's all it's definitely plenty yeah you can blow on it yeah if you're gifted actually uh

the the the the real it really was an accident the first couple times because I found that's like edging type shit right no this was as fast as possible this was get out this was get rid of it hide it uh the first time for real

was uh I didn't know why I was getting so hard because I was looking at pictures of Pussy in a magazine for the first time. I didn't even know. I didn't even understand what I was looking at, but it was like complete physiological response. Yeah. And just trying to push it away and down my own leg was like, I'd never been as good.

You know what I mean? It's never been as good as that. Dude, that's underrated, pushing it away hard. Yeah, I thought I pissed myself. I thought I was pissing my shorts. Yeah. Well, it's like hyper extension. It's like a kickstand.

There's like a pain in the top. Nothing felt right. Top of the whole edge. I ran in the bathroom and I went, whoa, I don't really have a problem with pissing myself, but something happened back there. And then I obviously... Oh, this is the first time you came? Yeah.

John Revy told me about beating off when I was in sixth grade. He was in like eighth. How did he break it to you? We were just in the St. Charles in like the fucking courtyard or whatever. And they're all, all the eighth graders are talking about like beating off. And I was like, yeah, being off. Of course I'm being off. Shouldn't even been in the circle.

and then he's like yeah i beat off with shampoo i jerk off in the shower and all his buddies were like yeah me too man so i went home and i you know i didn't produce cum until like fucking sophomore year or high school yeah i was an itty-bitty boy he's their basket baby i put some shampoo in my hair and i fucking raked my hard bird for a while and you know it spits saliva nothing came out that was colored but i got more shampoo in than coming out. I was fire dragon for fucking 12 hours, dude.

Just start buying Johnson and Johnson, no more tears. Why? No more tears. I made a sex toy when I was in high school. I'm sorry. What would you make? A sex toy? Okay. Like a flashlight. Yeah, sure. Not for my ass.

For the front. It's fucking crazy thinking about it because it like still gives me like that anxiety where you like kind of to scream or like shake like like what could have happened dude i took a fucking glass like this a wig probably bigger yeah and i took the inside of this glass i took the uh a sunglass cover oh god it was like the first time they started making that like microfiber micro fiber or like silky yeah and it had the drawstring on the outside it was like oak lease or something

Crown Royal bag. That's why do you look at black tics? Yeah, that's my other brother. Just fucking a crown royal bag. Dude, fucking a crowd royal bag while looking at National Geographic States. Your dad's dominoes are still in sight. That's a fully immersive experience. That's a perfect description of 90s, Philadelphia.

Do you got protection? Naked from the way he's down. starter jacket up top. So I took this sleeve, the Oakley sleeve, you know, obviously down the duck here. And then I took the outside drawstring, tightened it up.

Here's where it gets scary. I didn't just fuck the glass. I put it in the mattress. Oh, whoa. Oh, no. So at this point, we graduated from sleeping in the same bed, my brother and I, my mother got me bunk beds.

So I put it in the bottom bunk, his bunk. disrespect and I put it right in the middle it was perfect for knees I put two pillows underneath my knees to get me up to that level and I fucked the mattress and I think it back on it because you start getting fucking worked up you're pushing down

you know I'm like heavy breathing like it's a big fat back you're slamming the bed and mattress into a wall with boogers smeared all of it just turned the page of black magazine at any moment I could have

fucking keyotines digging to your jeans just shattering your fucking flesh like fucking snow-cold Steve Austin's reason it's boring gum in your face and that's the bottom

slime yeah it's crazy to think yeah that was another chapter in my my poem addiction dude the lengths you go to just to really uh

the inventiveness that comes along with like getting into beating off is really like unmatched it's like you feel like an inventor a kid a kid figuring out how to jerk off locked in his bedroom it's like a prisoner in a cell you got 24 hours a day to think about how you can get the fuck out of there as a kid in his bedroom

I got 24 hours a day to go how can I make this feel better oh yeah I'm out in the backyard she can come out of my hands I get you a chest set Made a hold come I'll find the rain You end up hanging yourself By accident His Pope was here

Anyway, thanks for coming, guys I love you I love you to you, man You know what I mean? Yeah, man Yeah. You get the reference? Hang yourself too, you know?

Works with the com. Oh, yeah. I'm just trying to go out on a high note. I'll go to your show. Yeah, we're doing it. I already tweeted it, so you're coming to a show tonight. Josh, you want to do a set tonight? Yeah.

All right, perfect. We got a lineup. There you go. You got to change? It's so funny. This is how I'm usually dressed. This is how I've been dressing. since I pulled up in the moving truck.

He does look like an extra in the departed, though, right? Like a guy running in, just throwing darts in the background. Look at this fucking outfit. He's got a three-quarter zip. Chaparroaning a lesbian youth camp. I think it's not that crazy guy. Give a show. Do a little spin-poles.

Don't fix your zipper. Stand up. No, no, no, no, no. Get all the way. Don't fucking act like you can't stand up. I think this is a smart outfit and he looks great. No, dude, the fucking baseball zip is great. This is exactly how I look.

Yeah, yeah, look straight ahead. Every function at my children's, both schools. Yeah. This is exactly how I look. You also put the fucking... I think this is great. You put the danger on your shoulders. I don't know if that's like an artistic choice.

Yeah, I'm big head and shoulders. Yeah. Yeah. Baby tears. All right. You guys want something to... You got something to plug? Check out dab me.

Check out little stinkers. Get some head. Check out Tim Bartley's show. I have a thing on YouTube called Field. trip in it's like a cool travel log it looks like a movie and it's funny and cool and it won't stress you out and uh every second and fourth tuesday the creek in the cape to the butter early effect it's a great stand-up show and it's like uh you know it's a it's a great time mike back to you all that stuff uh also check out my website on perks o n p-rc s dot com all my books are there also i do

custom interviews so if you want to bullshit with me if you if you last night i interviewed a guy's dad he just wanted his dad to be able to tell his story and have it documented and it was really a beautiful hour. Oh, that's cool. Dude, it was so nice. This guy was like, he was from South Africa and he just sailed the world

and he would like, wealthy people would hire him to like transport their fucking ships to and from different countries. And it's like this guy had the most amazing adventures ever and it's, wow. You know, his son just wanted it documented.

Did he ask him about drugs at all? Did he take anything illegal? Yeah. Well, I don't know about drugs. Like, he said there's always booze on the boat and he put out like a radio ad to have a chick like sail with him.

Of course. Like a really remarkable dude, man. And yeah, he got a chick to come sail with him. And he's like, I'm looking for an assistant. Yeah. A sailing assistant.

Balls are full. He's looking to fucking destroy some chick from Iowa. So I want to hear about how your dad has never seen an ocean. Sorry, I'm sure it was great. No, all good, man.

But yeah, but yeah, that's available at my website on perks.com. And, uh, yeah, go see all these guys. Yeah, man. Josh, Tommy, Tim.

You done? Yeah, man. Oh, okay. Thanks for having me. See the Patreon. Patreon.com slash stuff violent. See that? I did it.