Stuff Island - Girl Skateboarders - Ryan Donahue + Connor McNutt - Stuff Island #157

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

Ryan Donahue and Connor McNutt join Stuff Island this week with Chris O'Connor. Both Ryan and Connor are standup comics. Ryan cohosts Pause with Sam Jay and Connor cohosts Hate Watch Podcast. Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en -Follow Steve on IG: https://www.instagram.com/stevegerben/?hl=en Head to squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND Try Bluechew for FREE! with Promo Code: STUFFISLAND. Just pay $5 for shipping. Bluechew.com Kalshi.com/stuffisland first 500 traders who deposit 50 dollars get a 20 dollar credit! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Use code "StuffIsland" at Shopmando.com to get 40% off your starter pack Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dude, that was nice. Do that again. One more time. Don't you remember you told me you love me, baby? Dude, wow. Keep going. That's pretty good. You been working on that?

I've been like literally only working on that. That's the new heart, the new soul. Yeah. I kind of have that new sound. Did you guys ever take singing lessons or anything like that? Fuck no, man. My mom told me that she used to sing to us as babies and we would cry. Swear to God.

No, I've never. But she kept on singing? I think she just realized that it was never worth it. Yeah, how many attempts do you do like that before you quit? I mean, I've never heard anyone's voice crack so effortlessly and out of tune and her seeming unaware that that's what's happening out of anyone i've ever met in my life like it's pretty wild meeting someone who's like legit tone deaf yeah where you're like wait you think that's what the song sounds like what the fuck are you talking about yeah i had a friend growing up

who just couldn't catch the melody of any song. And you would sing lyric for lyric. And I'm like, that's a different song. Really? Yeah, it was actually shocking to me. I was like, not a single note. But he's not just trying and missing. You're saying he's not even aware. He thinks that's how it goes.

Really? I go, sing that back to me. And he does the same exact thing again. Completely wrong on every single level. Not even by chance did he hit the right note. At no point. And he was just like, what am I doing? But is he consistent in his wrongness?

Every time. Interesting. I haven't seen this guy in years. Now he's a cop in Arizona. But yeah, he was the most tone down guy. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. He goes, well, I wanted to be a singer, but Connor

crushed my dreams. I guess I'll go beat up black people in Arizona. Dude, there's also people that just are that tone-deaf, but about almost anything in their entire life where it's like they can't read a room at all, even just saying hello or understanding what not to say or do in any situation that's like what my dad is he's like

life tone deaf you know what i mean yeah do you think he goes home and is like i played all those notes no no no that's that's the tone deaf across the board you never think you've done anything wrong right dude just confused. You're like, nailed that song, nailed that party. Everyone loves me. I'm the greatest singer of all time. Dude. Yeah.

And just like literally like never getting any part of it right. And at one point he fell for a Ponzi scheme and he wanted to like run his pitch by me. Keep in mind, this is a guy who like watches his own tooth get pulled in the mirror when he goes to the dentist. The guy's like, I've never heard of anyone wanting to do this. He's like, yeah, no. No, I want to do that.

I want to see it come out. Yeah, so you shouldn't sell rugs. Why? And he just ran his pitch by me. He's like, hey, do you have a problem with your trash can? Isn't it hard to get all your...

I'm like, just stop. Just don't. Just go'm like just stop just don't just go pave a road you don't need to sell anything yeah you know it's it is funny though that like those those that type of advertising does work what type the someone like the dumb guy advertising yeah like the infomercials always used to show someone like unable to operate like the most basic piece of equipment. Well, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Cause you're like eggs beater. Oh fuck that. And it'd just be like, like, I can't, it's a guy shooting his frying pan. He goes,

I don't know what's wrong. But now they just do that. Punching a chicken. All those video game ads on your phone do the same thing. Yeah. They just have someone incompetently playing a video game, and it does make you, it makes me at least every time go, I'll download this and I'll plug it.

Dude, my favorite video game ads are like the gross woman ones. You ever seen those? Where it's like a phone game where it's like, look at this disgusting, stinky whore. Do you shower her? And you're like, yeah, you shower. But the options are like, shower or like put her on, like light her on fire.

Yes. And then a guy's like, well, she smells bad. So yeah, burn the witch. But I get it. It gets me because I'm like, I'll download this and shower. Yeah, yeah. There's always a thing where you've got like, it's like army guys and you can walk through like, do want 50 more times more guns or 70 less people and they're like

the shocking thing is how how long i watch the ads for i watch them through all the way through every time the king one you know the king one you've seen the king one yes where he's like trapped yes it's i it's not the game it's not the game i know it's not the game that's the most mind-bgling thing ever but if you had to add up the hours I've watched of this footage of the king get like crushed by spikes it's probably up to like 17 hours that I've dedicated my life

to being like why the fuck wouldn't you hit the trap door under the king and they've taken it a step even further than that which is truly mind boggling which is they're starting to make ads where someone's like, hey, I'm just playing this game, but it's the ad again. And they go, they go like, this is like, this is entry number one. I'm finding out if this game's real.

And they're like, they're like, okay, so I'm making all the same mistakes as the ad. Yeah. But they're going, nope, it's totally real. Oh, damn.

I like forgot. Yeah, it's crazy. It's like, I'm really starting to like lose my mind on the internet. That was a cool move.

Is it too far away? No, it just fell off the table. I'm good. Nice dude. It watched you. No, it was sliding off the table.

What the hell? You think I'm just like improvising? It is kind of a good mic stand. Yeah, I'm actually fine with it. It kind the table, dude. What the hell? You think I'm just improvising? It is kind of a good mic stand. Yeah, I'm actually fine with it. It kind of works out great. I can do this. It's actually more accustomed to what I'm... Yeah, this feels more natural.

Yeah, I'm very used to this right here. I got to do this. I got to be holding the mic. I feel natural here. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You like that? I do like it.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to derail it. no but like yeah no the the brain rot of it all it's like i i just every week i get my weekly screen report back and it's higher than it ever was and it just keeps happening to me i'm losing my mind and i'm watching these videos where it's like clearly a fake video yeah and then an indian guy goes is that real and then he like does the same like fake video again and then it gets to the end and it goes like for part two and i'm like screaming at my phone yeah i'm like why do you keep doing this to me yeah i know it's fake i know the whole thing's fake i'm trying to watch you debunk it and i know you're gonna fucking lie to me again.

And now I'm scrolling through your page to find the video that says, just watched. All he cares about is the fact that you're scrolling through his page. That's all he cares about. And I'm a fucking mouse. I'm a little fuck. I'm a bug. I'm a bug. And I fell for the maze trap. Sexual bug, though.

Sexual bug. Thanks, man. But, dude, I've been getting so mad at my phone. I think it's actually a healthy disposition. You're an optimist. Yeah, I think been getting so mad at my phone. It's a healthy disposition. You're an optimist. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah,

you're like, like, cause I, you're going, maybe there is good in the world. And this guy is going to debunk this stuff. And then he gets you again and you go, you fucking piece of shit.

You go, fool me, fool me twice. Shame on me. It's a real shame on me situation every single time. And I'm just in a dark loop of doing it over and over and over again i'm losing my mind on my phone dude can't keep doing it yo how uh has anyone treated you differently since you've had your goatee like kind of you know

on full full tilt i haven't noticed it really really nobody's because it is jarring like knowing you and then i i forgot that you're're in the middle of what you're working on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I see you, and it's like the full thing. And I'm like, yeah, this is kind of another guy in a weird way. Yeah. I might stick with it. It's kind of.

It looks good as fuck. It's full. I might stick with it, yeah. Dude, if I tried, I'd look like Master Splinter. It would be very bad. Yeah, I got nothing going on here, man. I got just this and this. Nothing.

I would love to live a whole life with this, but not do that. You look like you have a lot of full answers, but they're not correct. I just kind of like that it's a choice. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have that choice, and it frustrates me. I wish I had the choice. Oh, like that you have the option to rock it? No, just that it's like a positive choice that I've made in my life to have it.

You know what I mean? Even though it isn't, I like to feel like it is. Like most of the time, I just either have kind of a beard growing or it's shaved. This feels like it. I'm like, fuck you. Yeah, I don't know what it is about your face though. It does. I wasn't as jarred as he was when I saw you

with the goatee. I was like, yeah, you look like Chris. The first day I got it, nobody noticed. Yeah, you have some kind of a thing with your face where I'm like, you just look like Chris. Yeah, it's because the eyes are so jarring. You get drawn. Do you think you have jarring eyes? I think so. I think they upset people.

No, I don't think they upset. I think you have a permanently furrowed brow. I don't think I do furrow my brow. I think when you are looking optimistic, it's regular, and then when you're looking normal, it's slightly furrowed. It's like

you look like you've been puzzled for most of your life. And I think that's probably correct, knowing you. Yeah, well, yeah, it is. I am in a constant state of puzzlement.

Yeah, I know. Just confused. Yeah. But feeling like if I put this face on, it'll buy me some time, you know? Yeah, well, I guess

the difference is like now you look like you're mad at minorities. I'm not mad at minorities. I'm not mad at them. I'm puzzled by them. It's true. No beard, your face, you're mad about policy.

Yeah. You're thinking about economics and you're pissed. That's true. And then the beard on you, you're like, they're crossing the border and I've got to take care of these guys. That's true. I should try that on you, you're like, they're crossing the border, and I've got to fucking take care of these guys. That's true. I should try that out. I should go to more places where I might otherwise not be accepted and just throw this.

Yeah, this is a roll. I kind of wish I had it in Texas. Yeah, it's kind of like a real pencil-tucky look, especially with the Eagles dad hat on. Yeah. It's really a different vibe. Yeah, and the hair shagged out a little bit i do feel a bit like uh like i got a trucker thing going on you do yeah yeah are you

like handy at all though like are you a man in that capacity a little bit yeah yeah yeah like i could yeah in what i mean it looks like you could like rebuild a car right now that i could not do yeah i could build stuff, though. I like the basics I feel like I have down. Yeah, like Ikea. Yeah, yeah. I love when people claim that they're handy.

It's Ikea furniture. It's like, oh, you can read. Congrats. Yeah, I'm pretty good with Legos. Yeah. Bionicle's kind of my specialty. Give me a moment in Falcon

and I'll put it together for you. No problem. No, I feel like I'd do the basics, but I don't know. I don't have – I'm like not – there's such a dividing line between like people that know what tools are in Home Depot. Yeah. You know what I mean? People who just like can kind of jury rig something to work. People who know where anything is in any store, though.

I walk into stores I go to every day of my life. I go to Vons in L.A. I don't know where anything is. I'm such a lost kid. Vons is like the same thing as pavilions. It's like Giants. What the fuck's a pavilion? But you kind of don't need to know where anything is.

It's a grocery store. It's just a major grocery store. What's it in Texas? What's it a major grocery store. You know, what's in Texas? What's it called? HEB. HEB, yeah. Same thing. Just a big-ass grocery store.

But I walk in without my wife, and I'm like, I don't know. I have no idea where anything is. But we don't have to know that stuff anymore. Like, my mom is dating a guy named Al, who is probably the most useful man alive in terms of like he just knows exactly how to build things he knows exactly how to get across the nation he's been like a lifelong construction person who's climbed his way up and like when I was telling him

I was driving to Columbus he's like oh yeah you just gonna get on 73 and I'm like I'm just gonna look at my phone and go that way that it says but he like no and I'm like unfortunately he just gonna look at my phone and go that way that it says but he like no and I'm like unfortunately you spent a lot of time learning the roads

that we don't need to know I just need to know how to look at my phone and then turn the way that it says dude the idea of looking at a map insane like to be a road comic in like the 80s where you're like alright I gotta get to this tavern

how like off the turnpike in fucking new brunswick i'm like oh my god i could not yeah that should be extra money when they're telling you exactly where it is you're most of the time you'll miss an exit you're fucking you know jerking off can't find a fucking you know where the steering wheel is you're almost like in an old and you're jerking off, can't find a fucking, you know, where the steering wheel is. You're also like in an old, and you're jerking off. Did you beat off between Columbus and here? No, I didn't beat off, but I have beat off while driving. Dude, I've never beat off while driving. This seems to be a common thing my friends do.

It seems so unhinged to me. No, it's not because I'm so horny. It's because I'm tired and I can't stay awake and i don't want to die but that would i would pass out immediately what are you talking about if i jerked off and came i'm a drunk driver all the time but you're not i'm like oh fuck and i'm like but i'm not coming i'm just slowly jerking to get home and then no it's. Chris, have you done this? I've done it once. No.

Thank you. That's crazy. If you said no, I would have felt very bad about myself. Did you come? Yeah. No, there was a time where I was going back and forth between New York and Philly so much. And it was like a drive where it's like, dude, fuck this drive. Like, I've done it so many times. Not jerking off.

Yes. Like, let's spice this up a little bit. Well, it is. It's just like, ugh. Like, I just, I'm bored. Yeah. I'm bored. And like, what was I normally doing when I was bored?

I was jerking off. It's true. Why can't I? That's like Pavlov's dog, dude. Yeah. You know? The sound of the boredom alarm, I'm going to fucking beat off. I feel like I pretty much jerk off only when I'm bored.

You know, like, it's hardly ever because I'm unbearably horny. No. You know? Yeah, no, that feels like an issue. That one's nice, though. That's a real nice one when you're, like, really horny and you're like, dude, I can't. Like, waiting for it, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Like, my wife leaves. If I have to jerk off, my wife leaves do my if i have to jerk off my wife leaves i set up like home alone traps i'm like she's out i like roll marbles at the front door i burn the doorknob put a paint can up i just want to because i'm so nervous she'll come back you know and i'm like i gotta make sure people in the hedges dude have you guys been caught jerking off ever i've never been caught jerking off never once in my life have caught jerking off. Never once in my life. Have you? I don't think I've really been.

Oh, no. You know what? In college, I had roommates. So sometimes I would be in there trying to get my business done. And then one of them would come home. And I'd, oh, God. But that was it. Yeah, yeah.

Never a conversation. No. There was one time. I remember going, what the fuck? Like, they that was that was. Yeah. Yeah. Never, never a conversation. No, no. There's one time going, what the fuck? Like they had to address it. Like you were caught out so bad that it had to be spoken about. No, actually, I did have one where it was the same guy and he dude. But it was in front of a bunch of people and he was being a cunt where it was like he just decided like like something. I kind of ribbed him like in a circle or whatever and then he's like yeah well it'd be cool if you didn't like jerk off and

in front of a bunch of people and i was like okay all right okay you got me yeah no like no i've never jerked off no yeah yeah i'm fucked yeah i'm like a little like nervous to say this, but I used to catch my brother jerking off constantly. Really? Like a comedic amount. Which makes you wonder how much was he jerking off really? Dude, so, so, so much. And I feel really bad saying this. I hope he doesn't listen to this.

But we had like a little tiny guest house at our house. It was like a, it was, it was a tough shed that my dad like renovated my dad's a very handy guy backed full circle i'm imagining i'm imagining your brother jerking off so much that you're questioning whether he's jerking off you know what i mean like i'm like i wonder what he's doing he's like using it just like that he's using it to hide some like even more devious behavior you keep walking in and he's just like oh no and you're like off you leave and he just like puts that away yeah and like hit the button and there's a bunch of like you know children under his floorboards yeah i mean dude it was just it was it was that's very funny

there's no way you could be jerking off this much. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I walk away. He, like, pulls down, like, a board. It has, like, red yarn attached to, like, victims and everything. He's got, like, a drug empire. Thank God. Thank God he's gone. How did you feel undiscovered in your parents' house?

He goes, all right, he's out of here. Escobar, what was up? What'd you want from me? All right, all right. But no, he... Sorry, my brother walked in. I had to pretend I was serving him. I had to think of

the most innocent thing to do possible. Kind of brilliant, honestly. That's very funny. No one's going to stick around No one ever comes into his room. They just immediately leave. Now you're free to do whatever.

It's kind of the ultimate cover-up ever, you know? Even like vaping in the airplane bathroom. They're knocking on your door. You're like, oh! I wasn't vaping in the airplane bathroom. They knock on your door. You're like, oh, I wasn't vaping. I was just beating this thing so hard, smoke started coming out. But dude, yeah, he was just like, it was truly.

And like, so yes, with this like little tough shed. And tough shed is like a brand of shed. Might have like insulated it, put like electricity in. It was like, it was essentially like a separate bedroom. But he was such a menace that where he was like he was just relegated to like a the shed like we put my brother in a nice shed like that's how much of a problem he was it was a shed nonetheless but we're like you live in the shed now you know wow shed shed guy yeah shed guy and oh fuck this feels he's in there this feels bad this feels very like exposing my brother

and uh yeah he had a shed and it was just just like, I just walk over there and I knock on the door. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then it opened. He never locked the door ever. And one time I walked in and he was jerking off with the headphones on. And I was like, dude. So he didn't know you were there. Have some alertness at all.

Lock the door. One ear. It's also like, dude, if you live at home still, porn should be at zero volume. Yes. It's such a secret. It's to the point now where if you live at home still, porn should be at zero volume. Yes. It's such a secret. It's to the point now where like I don't even watch – even when no one's around, I don't watch porn with any volume on. I have no idea what porn sounds like. I actually have no clue.

I have no clue. It's like a – I know. I know what it sounds like. I feel like there's porn stars that people are into and and it's entirely based off their dirty talk and shit, where it's like, I'm not interested in this person at all. I'm not listening to anything. Yeah, that's also wild to be like,

I'm into the way they talk to someone else. That's too much. Why is that too much? I don't know. I just think it's an odd thing to get off on. It's like, oh, I just love her words. It's our whole business. It's kind of their whole business.

I thought it was tits, ass, and having sex. That's only part of it. No, I'm more of a literary guy. I like the way she articulates herself. That's what's so funny about people complaining about the amount of incest porn there is. I'm like, I never even looked at a title. It's on mute. I don't give a fuck what the title is.

And they're not actually related. I know. I'm like, get over it, you child. It's fine. This Puerto Rican lady is not related to this white man at all. Not whatsoever. Don't worry about it. But this episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.

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Use code STUFFILAND at shopmando. The fact that it's forbidden. Also, it's kind of like a dream scenario, you know? What, the oh no, dad's home? Your parents get divorced, then you get remarried, and your stepsister's, like, super hot, and then you wind up just fucking until you both go to college. So who is this, like, dream scenario for?

I think most people. Yeah. You think so? Yeah, it's kind of like a fantasy, I think, of most people. Imagine just having, like, a hot girl living in your house. The only taboo is the fact that your parents are married. But there's actually no bad outcome of fucking that lady. And you're not allowed to actually date them.

Yeah. It's kind of perfect. And the odds are that they're... You don't have any of the responsibility that comes with a relationship. And really, you'd be exposing the lie that is your parents' relationship, really. You know what I mean? Because you know they're not...

It's like a third marriage or something. You're like, well, they're full of shit. And it's also like, you love each other. Why wouldn't we get along? You know? Yeah. You guys set such a great example. Sorry.

Yeah. Sorry we're just doing the 2.0 version of the cool thing that you guys set such a great example sorry yeah sorry we're just doing the 2.0 version of the cool thing that you guys got going on dude I did actually now that I think about it I got

half caught jerking off I don't think my mom knows god I hate this is it's getting tough they definitely know no

they always know dude I was I had like a little office chair in my bedroom and like a desk, and I was jerking off to nothing. It was like, thank God I was in a moment where I was jerking off to pure memory as a kid.

You're a very creative child. I've always said that. Thank you, man. Really illustrative mind, you know? The booms are round. But I was facing pretty much... Like Luke Skywalker. I'm using the force

Is the instrument still working? I'm using the force Yeah no she must have known But I was like My back was like pretty much Your dick is fully out Complete I go mom I'm jerking off

She goes oh honey you're so funny No but I'm like My back is pretty much facing the door And I'm just I'm jerking off She goes oh honey you're so funny No but I'm like my back is pretty much facing the door And I'm just I'm jerking off And she opens the door and I go what But she didn't see anything there's nothing to see Like there's a full back of a chair Yeah I'm just looking at the wall And I go well yeah what and she goes oh nothing

And then she went away And no the oh nothing you're caught Oh nothing She goes oh just making sure you're in bed Still in your room not jerking off Just making sure you're in bed. Still in your room, not jerking off. Just making sure you're jerking off. I go, I'm doing that, Mom. On top of it, don't you worry.

Yeah. But that was the only time I've ever been kind of close to getting caught. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. Oh, my friend. That would be such a sick move. My friend, who I will not name. Same, but his mom fully walked in on him getting absolutely topped off by his girlfriend. Like, just spread eagle.

She is just absolutely undeniably sucking him off. And she just walked in and she was like, oh, and then had to leave, dude. Oh, my God. Just fully getting blown. And this is a girl who is like. What do you mean he was spreading? She was spreading? No, he was just like right here just getting sucked and then like she walked in and like it's just she's

like oh like it's absolutely it's so much worse than like actually catching your son fuck yes because it's just so much more demeaning to the girl you're like also like damn my son's kind of a fucking player like that like that's it's a lot more to digest, you know? It's way worse if it's your daughter. Oh my God, could you imagine? That's a, that's terrible. I mean, yeah, fathers are already weird about that. It's like, you know what's happening with the boyfriends, you know?

I know, it's just like... In my house kind of thing. Yeah, it's disrespectful. It's like, come on, man. Hide this from me. Isn't that funny about dads, though? Dads are so funny because they don't want their daughters to fuck ever, right? And then they get a boyfriend, and then you feel this immense pressure from the dad to come and your wife. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You're like, all right, now you want me to make a baby. Yeah. You're like, you were so against her ever. She was your precious child. And all of a sudden it's like, now you're mad at me because I don't bust inside your daughter. Well, yeah, no, that actually makes sense. But that's commitment, though.

That makes sense to me. Yeah, I know. But it's just a funny, like, complete full circle mentality for a dad. But the difference is that he— Well, it's like now that you're allowed to do that, at least make something good. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean?

At least give him shit. Yeah, we're not doing any practice scrimmages here. No, no. I know. I know why my take was flawed. Yeah, yeah. Okay? No, I think you should double down, dude.

I think you should. No. Actually, I don't disagree with my take whatsoever. Very good. Very good. The art of confidence. Kind of all-time reliant from Chris earlier. I know.

No, I think my take was really good. Yeah, you actually won't get me to disagree with my take. That's so good, dude. I stand by what I said. Oh, man. No, it's a giant flip. Have you ever been caught by a girlfriend's dad or anything like that? Like in the act of sexual whatever the hell?

No. That's never happened. No, but there was, yeah. There was one time in high school when my girlfriend secretly slept over and I was sleeping in the basement and my mom had, I don't know, my mom like came down and like walked around

the bed in a way that was like what are you doing yeah also like you know and she was whatever you're thinking hiding under the sheets oh your girlfriend was that's fucking that's so scary and it was like what are you how old were you 18 she was. I think she was investigating, right? Yeah, but isn't that... Because I was thinking about that. Boyerism? It would be an ultimate power move if you were a kid who was this aware

if your mom walked in and you were jerking off. Why would you come in here to catch me jerking off? You're a fucking sick fuck. If you turned it on her like that. That's what kids should do. They're not smart enough to do that but it's fucking yeah like some parents like overstepping a little bit where it's like the kids in the bathroom too long the dad's like what are you doing in there it's like he's jerking off yeah what are you doing let him

go yeah you fucking creep you want to see you want you want to see my little boy penis what do you want for me huh yeah what do you want to see me nut papa yeah what do you want from me huh yeah well you want to see me nut papa yeah what do you want come in oh papa you want to see me come is that what you want papa oh god fucking freak i've always hated the way you say papa you do that french thing papa papa it's more italian oh it's italian yeah you're right yeah i'm not very worldly, but... Well, you've been to Greece. I know, I have. Yeah. I don't know if this is true or just, like, from my... But it feels like people in Europe tend to be a little bit more, like, sexually comfortable. Yeah, for sure.

With their family, like, inside of family stuff. Yeah. You know? Where it's like, I know that you massage my daughter. You know what I mean? Like, kind of oddly... Like, America, we're're like, we're not going to talk about it. We're just going to act like that doesn't happen. Yeah.

Yeah. But like, I don't know. I think that's the best way. I would agree. I feel that way. I think it's the best way. And I think, yeah, I don't, it's got to be killing them a little bit how open they are. I would hope.

I would hope. You know? Yeah. I just don't believe that everything's so all hunky dory over there hunky dory yeah no i know i i do fully agree with you i'm like there is like i know like i think america is like way more like we do way more censorship than we should for the most part but it's like yeah don't talk about fucking with your kids on that like comfortable level like your mother and i last night you know she was a very sensual lover.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just natural. I don't even like PDA on any level. I'm really not into that at all. I had this thing happen where I was talking to a friend of ours who I'm not going to name, but we were all hanging out. You shouldn't name these people.

And then his girl came up and put her arm around him. I'm like, alright, cool, whatever. And i like look and i realize she's like rubbing his nipple a little bit like while i'm talking to him like just kind of like doing like not doing a bit no she's just kind of that's how they're hanging out right now and i'm like this is he can't listen to me talk to him anymore like his brain is being taken from his body. Hey, well, I'll name them real quick. It's Luke Tuma and Autumn Callaghan. No, it's the autonomy of the situation.

Was I right? I don't know. Yeah, it was then. You were saying? The autonomy, the person's autonomy seems to be taken away. Yeah, 100%. It's an abduction. It's a violation. It's an abduction. It's an abduction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a violation. It's certainly, like, just certainly, like, no man can, like, if this is happening to you, can you possibly, I wonder, like.

I think it's the same thing as a mom walking up and going, like, are you talking to your friends? That's what I feel like. And you're like, well, I was. Yeah, but now, okay. Yeah. You're here. And now my mom's rubbing my nipples and it's fucked up i'm getting turned on it's fucked up to do this in front of my friend dude i i don't like when parent like my parents would always do this thing because like i have half brothers and like they would always say like these are your brothers you know and i'm like just don't say that

like it makes it weird because now you're like you know what I mean like at what point if someone's like that's a table you're like yeah but now that you said it I'm wondering is that a fucking table right what is a table really you know it's an odd thing to like point out

but they are your brothers though but to say it it's like then maybe they're not you know what I'm saying I've always say it, it's like, then maybe they're not. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I've always felt this way. It's like, anytime anyone's screaming, we're a family. That's a bad night.

It's a real bad night. It's not a good sign. Fucking A. It's not a good sign. I am a doctor. Like, you're dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's over.

Yeah. I am a pilot. You're into a mountain. You're crashing a mountain right now. Yeah, no one yeah, yeah, yeah. It's over. Yeah. I am a pilot. You're into a mountain. You're crashing a mountain right now. No one needs to scream. Anytime the person in charge is screaming the obvious, this is bad. Is that a bit of yours? That is, yeah, which is crazy.

But you did the, it's the we are a family bit. Yeah, it is a bit, yeah. I thought you were teeing him up for a second. I was like, hell yeah. No, I'm with it. But I was like, wow. Because it's not like a thing that i rest my hat on so i was like yeah no i'm sure everyone's had that thought but

yeah 100 yeah yeah it just always made me uncomfortable because it's like people trying to force like uh whatever's happening like there'll always be someone in a group where they're like isn't this fun yeah and you're like well it was until you fucking said that i always i always felt really good about going to like um you like visit someone's like shore house or you like rent like an airbnb like in a nice area and like all the signs on all the walls are like a day at the beach is a day for us all to relax you know what i mean like it's all it's all this stuff that's just like hey can we not fight they literally have reminders like above the toilet yo just in the kitchen that's so funny it's like post-it notes for like a like an abusive

father 100 just on the fridge it's like don't call your son a failure dude i guarantee you there's some kind of metric for like the amount of those sayings are on a wall it's like how fucked up the dad is yeah yeah but if i was an angry dad that'd make me more and more angry oh of course i would see that sign i would snap it over my knee tell me what my fucking yeah i would flip the fuck out every day is a blessing i would also just every day look at those and be like what has my fucking life come to you you have a fucking boring pinterest bitch wife not to tear our own family yeah dude i just stayed an airbnb and like one of the main things was like the photos of the place there was just one of them was just like peaceful home is a happy home

and it was just that image and i'm like someone's been killed in this house yeah you're like i think i have to investigate the basements right now yeah it was just the creepiest like those are so fucking creepy you know i don't i don't like any of that fucking like those stupid slogans there's even a thing in target they they sell this thing in uh in rhode island targets i don't know if it's national or not but like i saw one that said like the snuggle is real and i'm like oh yeah like you have to be the worst white lady on earth to fucking, you know what I mean? Like, what that is versus what you've made it is so fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I'm a guy who also likes puns, but when they become sweet, I'm like, that's the worst thing you've ever heard in my entire life. Yeah, they should all just be signs that are like, whatever, it's already done. Just a sign about the toilet just like, dude, you're fucked. Don't even think about it. Just drink your coffee and take a shit. Nobody saw that.

Nobody saw that. Just signs that say, what's the fucking point, man? Just keep doing you. Pretend it didn't happen. That rules. For Christ's sake, you're supposed to love these people. Just signs are like, dude, what's wrong with you, man? Don't do it. Don't fucking do it, man.

Like each sign, as you get closer to the bedroom of the your least favorite child just gets more and more yeah those signs should be like memento for abusive fathers you know like they look at the signs like the tattoos on guy pierce's body and they're like oh i'm supposed to love my children and not beat my wife like throughout the day for real if you woke up in her if you woke up in a room that was your house and those signs were everywhere, you'd be like, did I hit my kids? Someone's afraid. And there's still one that snuck in that says it's wine o'clock. And you're like, all right, fuck.

And then you beat your kids again. It's the recycling memento every time you get to the final sign. Dude, I mean, the live, laugh, love pillow is the sign of a housewife in distress. Oh, for sure. The siren, like the fucking, what is that stupid thing that when you shoot a ship? A flare. What? A flare?

Yes, it's a flare. Sorry, I hate when I can't remember things, but yeah, that's what I was saying. Let me just kill all the momentum of our conversation. All right, from the top, go again. So yeah, that's what I was saying. Let me just kill all the momentum of our conversation. All right, from the top, go again. So yeah, it's like... And they're always in vacation homes. Yeah. Or terrible houses.

I mean, if it's in your real house. I feel like this is someone's bit, so I'm not sure who it is, but it's a very poignant thing. It's like, I don't know what lady decided to make every bathroom the beach. Like, why is every bathroom the beach my mom is that lady i'm my i have every one of my aunts is that lady yeah i'm like there's a fucking dried

out starfish in a bowl of sand broken shell you know there's also another level to this where it's like it's not the live laugh love beach thing on, but it's like an angel above is an angel within. You know what I mean? It's like a spiritual level of this same concept. Yeah. And that, I don't know what that is. Like a more esoteric cry for help, perhaps? Like maybe in the next life I'll find a better marriage.

I feel like it is more like of an Ohio kind of bathroom. Oh, yeah. where you're like... You've never been to the beach. You don't know how to make the beach bathroom. Ohio's prison. There's a border in Ohio. They're not allowed to go to the beach. You can only look up to the sky and see.

Maybe there's angels up there. That's so crazy. I do think you might be on to something. They're on to something like everything because it's like it is middle America that tends to be more religious

it's like maybe they just don't see the ocean enough yeah and they're like we just gotta make it God because we don't have the beach if you look at the ocean

if you're deeply religious you look at the ocean you go there's nothing you're like that whatever that is over there or the ocean is enough you know what I mean

or ocean be scary yes ocean be scary ocean be scary Or the ocean is enough. You know what I mean? Or ocean be scary. Yes. Ocean be scary. Ocean be scary. But also ocean is like, you know, that's enough of like another like sign of life. You know what I mean? But like if you're in the middle of America and there is no ocean, you're like, there's got to be angel.

You know, you got to create some other mysterious thing that isn't the ocean. Yeah, for sure. And God is that thing, you know? Yeah, 100%. It's weird. I don't know. I don't know why this is blowing my mind but like coastal it's like less a little less religious on the coast am i wrong oh for sure it is and like do you that could be because they don't see the ocean i think they're just more it's like a harbor harbor towns i don't know there's something about the ocean

that represents like a broader horizons right yeah but if you don't have that at your visible disposal then broader horizons must be through the landlocked yeah they're not as religious and they're much more liberal too weirdly yeah yeah it's like people like look at the ocean in california and they go it's fine kamala like they're just like, they're like, yes. Tim Waltz. Yeah, he gets it. Yeah.

Whereas like if you're in the middle of the country and it's like, Trump will get me to finer waters. Trump will get me to the beach. Take me to the beach, Don. Raise those sea levels. I just need a sweet Don to take me to the beach. Yeah, that's fun.

That's actually a good take. They believe in global warming. It's a religious republic. People believe in global warming. If we elect Trump, Ohio is now on the coast. We can have the beach. Dude. These goddamn ice caps. Yo.

That is happening, too, because that guy, Al, I told you about earlier, he lives like... There's a weird shanty community on the beach of Rhode Island where there's like 400 little houses. And they're all put up on, they're raised up like three or four feet. Yeah. And like the people in the front, like Ocean View, they're going to have to get moved to the back because the ocean levels are rising and they're fucking pissed because they're losing their ocean farm property now there's four houses between them but there's nothing you can do about the rising tide of the fucking no i know but that'd be i'd also be furious oh of course yeah but i don't think

they're probably like they have no say in it because it's like a condo rule where it's like you well you're just a part you own this but it's also a part of a bigger but it's like your property value goes down because god hates you yes it's like unfortunately you bought a house that can be moved yeah literally yeah yeah yeah when i was driving here from ohio just fucking deep water horizon that thing square space oh the classic this is playing the hits. This is... Yeah, this is that old-time rock and roll. Look, go to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to launch.

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Gamble on this stuff. You can literally gamble on anything. Pretty cool. All right. Back to the episode. Have you ever just seen a fucking house just be like on the back of a tractor trailer? Oh, yeah. Like a full house.

There's like wide load houses. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like that's fucking bizarre like no the house comes in tomorrow so it's so depressing yeah it makes me really sad whenever i see that yeah dude it's like it's also like not like it'd be one thing if it was like your childhood home that you somehow like got out of its foundation right and shipped it but it's just a cookie cutter house so you're like we have to ship this fucking house

it's like just buy a trailer at that point or fucking buy a house. Or build something in the woods. Yeah, I don't, I guarantee you. I really never understood that. I don't know what that whole process is. I don't know.

I mean, if you needed an emergency house and someone isn't able to ship you a house, you'd be like, this is the greatest country in the world. You're right.

Yeah. If I had a nickel. An emergency house. I need a house. Right now. I had a nickel. An emergency house. I need a house. Right now. I need a house stat. Also, where are you with no house, though?

It's like, what? That is wrong. No, no. Where are you with no house? Just buying the property thinking it's going to have a house. No, where are you with it? Wait a minute. You need an emergency house, and you have the money to buy one, though. That's what's getting me, where it's like, yeah, no, I'll just have it shipped.

Yeah, it seems like it couldn't possibly be cheaper than whatever house is available to you i would think like or at least building one on the in the middle of some fucking property like it's not you know like the raw materials are not going to be more expensive than the fucking shipping costs of an entire house like i, I can't ship a PS5 for less than it's worth. Yeah, god damn, dude. That's, yeah, I don't know. Every time I see that, though, I'm always like, what?

I almost want to follow, you know, like, people follow, like, ambulances. I'm going to follow the next house I see, and I'm just going to go, I'm going to keep going. That's so funny. Just to see where that ends up. What sad-ass fucking town you're going to. Yeah. Where there's no houses available.

Like, what could that possibly be? Only half of it gets delivered. Yeah, we're waiting for my room. Just watch them bring a roof to a field. Oh, it's only half? Okay, I guess we'll put the tarp up in the middle of the house for the next two weeks. We'll put some Tyvek up for the next 20 years. Yeah, man.

I don't know. Because my uncle and my dad, they built their houses, and my uncle built his garage first, and then they slept in a trailer inside of the garage while they were building the house. And it's like, yeah, that seems like a much more like sensible way to go about it than like just i just wouldn't want to live inside something that someone just like built that was able to be moved it would just feel so like uh it felt yeah you'd feel like something might have cracked while it was being driven right right and who do you call yeah yeah

you're like yeah no someone seems to have broken the wall. Say, I think my house is broken. Like what part? You're like, all of it. Yeah. You know that bedroom shit? The left side. Yeah, the kitchen's broken.

You mean the plumbing? You're like, the whole kitchen snapped in half. Yeah. Did it come with cupboards? Because some of the wall walls fallen into itself and i could put some sandwiches in there but it doesn't feel like they've looked up modular homes before have you really yeah just i wouldn't just out of curiosity yeah i would have put it past you what it costs and like what you can get you can buy a bunch of different pieces it's not a good sign like you know like you, like in a thriving economy,

I don't think any houses are on trucks. No. Right? We're kind of, maybe some logs. Yeah. I don't know, but it always,

anytime I see like wood, like a half-built house just in the rain, I'm like, that can't be good. It's not good. No. It's not good.

But they do that. They like fucking frame a house out constantly yeah rains on it yeah the whole foundation is waterlogged

it's like this can't be good how is that yeah build it in a factory and drive it to me yeah I know

I love bringing a thing up to you where like isn't that crazy and you're like I'm actually pro that thing I'm glad you brought that up. I'm like, dude. That's one of my topics.

I'm like, shipping a house is nuts. You're like, that's actually my dream home. I've already decorated it. They're going to ship it in a week and a half. Yeah, this is a temporary house, actually. We're waiting for the house to get here. You think anyone ever put posters up before they fucking moved in on a truck? Like, let me get my room decorated

before you bring it to Iowa. There's a 14-year-old who has Jimi Hendrix posters in the modular home already. It comes with fatheads. It wouldn't even be Hendrix. It'd be like, who's that bowler who said, who do you think you are? I am. I don't know. I don't know that guy's name,

but what a fucking legend that guy is. That's one of the best clips of all time. I know. He's a beast. Who do you think you are? I am. Dude, any sport where you can like that at like a 13 year old kid he was that's one of the best reveals of all time wait what he was yelling that at like a 13 year old kid love that is that guy fucking rules yeah i think his name is pete but i may be wrong that sounds right pete sounds right but like he uh like any any sport where you're like you get to just drink your ass off and be a great athlete is awesome to me like all

those billiard sports or like darts it's just like all the fattest guys that are have the competitive spirit of like the most fucking fierce athlete of any olympics but he's just like a fat asshole who eats too many sandwiches they're not good enough at sandwiches. Well, that's what I don't... They're not good enough at bowling, in my opinion. That's what I don't get about bowling, especially bowling, where it's like,

all right, but I feel like if you go like twice a week, you'll bowl 300 eventually. And that's as good as you can get at bowling. Dude, I... It's consistency, baby. How many 300 games in the history of televised bowling, which is since the fucking 40s,

do you think there have been televised? Well, I don't know how often bowling gets televised. It's like every Saturday. Is it really? Dude, yeah. I would say then it's up in the thousands where someone bowls the 300 man 34 are you fucking kidding you knew that yeah i was looking at oh i thought you didn't know that at all you're a freak that's so you were like you asked yourself that's shocking that's shocking

i feel like i've seen guys like a local bowling alley bowl 300 no dude that's it's an amazing feat i feel like i've seen it multiple times i don't know know. If I bowl like a round or two, I'll get like a turkey. Yeah, I'm pretty good. Just like three in a row. Yeah. I feel like I've bowled like a 190 a couple times. It's not golf. It's not like there's wind and it's like the things are changing.

It's just the same floor, the same pins, the same ball. Just throw it the same. It can't be that hard. I couldn't agree more. And the margin of error can't be that delicate because I throw it. It clearly is if it's only happened 34 times. I know, but I think it's just a lack of talent. What was the...

Yeah. The talent pool they're drawing from is just not... Dude, what were we watching? We were day drinking, watching some Olympic sport or something. Oh, tennis, women's tennis. And you're like, I could fucking beat these ladies on ESPN.

Oh, yeah. It's probably my most naive take of all time. Yeah. I'm like, I'll fucking crush Angel Reese. And I'm bad at basketball. I'm really not good at all. Yeah. But I'm like, nah, there's no way I could take'm bad at basketball. I'm really not good at all. But I'm like, nah, there's no way I could take it. Well, yeah, the form is just very ugly.

You see these wild fucking four-step layups, and you're like, god damn it. Yeah, well, what's her name? What's the main girl's name? Kaitlyn Clark? Yeah. She's like the first girl I've seen where I'm like, kind of close to a guy. Yeah, she's unbelievable. She's awesome. She's unbelievable guy yeah she's unbelievable she's awesome

she's on so she's like the first step in evolution towards like them getting closer yeah yeah she's like men's basketball it's happened with skateboarding too girl skateboarders for years you're like this is the ugliest thing i've ever seen yeah in the last like couple years i'm like that look kind of sick actually they're no longer resting on their laurels yeah but what is that i mean it, it's just evolution, I guess. I don't know. I think it is just like, I don't know. People didn't know that you could do that.

I do think it is that. Until someone does it. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. It could also be a thing where she just comes and goes, and no one's ever like that again. No, I think you were on point, though, because all these things have been for guys forever and to play but you know what i mean to be like yeah silly for a girl to want to do x

y you know because it's just societally not set up thing about the mind too where i feel like even the elite women's players are like that's a level i can't get to the steph curry thing and then someone kind kind of does that and now that's the standard. If you're not doing that you'll piss yourself. It's equally perverse in the opposite direction where it's just a bunch of terrible dudes

just thinking they can be Tony Hawk but they just suck at skating. It's like four of them still but they are very bad. You wonder how many women were naturally better than whatever at skating you know yeah but it's like four of them still but they they are very bad so you wonder how many women just were naturally better than whatever fat asshole thought he was very good at uh skating or whatever sport but even the steph curry thing is wild like nobody thought you could

do that yeah nobody thought of doing that's what always annoys me about the old nba guys being like you'd never make it it's like, if you thought of doing that, you would be the best player on your team. Yeah. You just didn't think of doing it. Or you couldn't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think to get good at that.

Yeah, yeah. Just because it seemed impossible. It took a tiny guy. I know, yeah. But that's happening across the board even uh i saw like a nine-year-old did like two 900s back to back and like when we were kids tony hawk doing the first 900 as a grown man was like the craziest thing we've ever seen now children are doing it that must make him feel complicated you know maybe but also like if you're a trailblazer you're going for

something that's like never been done before you seem like a psychopath for doing it and then you let those people know that it's possible so therefore you're like then i'll go for the next thing and it's like nothing takes away from his like legacy for doing that though but i get what you're saying yeah but that you know and also it would fuck with my head a little bit a little bit it would yeah i mean even more so with like hank Hank Aaron having to give Barry Bonds the title for the most home runs, and it's like, you know that guy took steroids and that your baseball was made of sawdust

and that you did it anyway, but you've got to be a good sport and smile for some stupid camera. Yeah, but he was also facing pitchers that were throwing fucking beach balls at him. And now? Yeah, but he's also getting called the N-word by like 10,000 people.

Wow, that is a lot. That'll stick in your craw. That's kind of as hard as hitting a 112-mile-an-hour fastball. Could you imagine? Might have a few bugaboos about that. Dude, just slurs getting hurled at you while someone pitches

fire at you. That's such an amazing feat. That should actually be part of his stats. Not to mention, yeah, like when he went out to eat before, like someone just like spit on his bologna sandwich. Throwing water in his face. And then he has to go hit 300. Team doesn't even have a training staff.

Yeah, they're like, yeah, not for you. I was reading a thing about like uh mile times the what like people running the mile uh-huh and like how much they've come down over the years and like the people running the mile in like the olympics were running it like on sand in like regular shoes yeah and now it's like you've got this you said on sand yeah like on like yeah we're not like sand but like you know yeah like dirty trail kind of thing yeah soft surface right and obviously now they have like super high-tech shoes and they're running teflon yeah yeah they were Yeah, yeah. They were, like, a lot of the time...

You're saying they were faster back then? They were faster than the times indicate. They were just, like... Yeah. It's mostly the tech that's gotten better. Yeah, but if you think about it, their food was less processed by crazy chemicals. Yeah, I don't believe in that.

Also, they were getting called the N-word constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think processed food's good. Also, there were getting called the N-word constantly. Yeah. I think processed food's good. Also, there wasn't color TV to distract them from their goals. You could kind of go anywhere with that. You think processed food is good? I think it's fine. Really?

No, no shot. Depends on, like, well, it's more that I think GMOs are fine. I think you need tomatoes that are GMOed fine. I don't know, man. It's just weird how much bigger bananas are when they're not organic. And I'm like, all right, how much more am I? Yeah, but even organic bananas. Dude, buying a Costco rotisserie chicken chicken you're like what what beast was this yeah you're like it's freaking me out no it's one if they are injecting it with something to make it

like i'm talking about like genetically modifying something yeah like gmos yeah i mean like in fruits and vegetables probably but there's like i don't know there's some long-lasting effects to that i guess i mean like there's other stuff there's no way it's as healthy for you as i think it is i think it's just the other stuff is bad like if you make a plant that's resistant to some type of bug that bug's gonna change and then the thing that eats that bug's gonna change and so on and so forth until you got like a big problem we're like a big problem wait so it's so funny you downplay something And then you just You paint like a horror story

Right after that I don't think it's bad to eat I don't think it's bad to eat the tomato I'm just saying You might be making like a Weird animal that's gonna kill you You're like It won't kill us

But it will create Eight-legged freaks Yes Giant spiders That terrorize the planet Yeah That's what I'm saying At least be concerned

About the right thing Yeah I guess the The answer is to eat those things, die of whatever cancer gives you so you can outlive or underlive the monsters it's creating. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. That bug's going to change. And then the thing that eats that bug's going to change. It's like Forrest Gump, dude. And that bug's going to change. Yeah. That bug is going to change. And then the bug that eat that bug. Then you're in trouble.

Once them bugs change, you know everything's going to change around that bug. You do. I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, what are the role that bugs are playing in the animal kingdom? If bugs were to all change, would everything change like does it start from the bottom and then go up like that you know yeah it's got to right yeah if a bug gets better the thing that eats that bugs gotta get better and the thing i use that thing i use that bugs gonna get better exactly which i guess in turn is us ultimately it gets. Yeah. So then we become juggernauts.

Right? No, because we don't get better. We just make a thing that kills whatever has gotten better. Well, we have gotten better, though. In what way? What do you mean? I mean, like, people in, like, the medieval times were, like, the tallest guy was, like, 5'6".

Yeah. Like, that was a giant. They didn't have GMOs, too. Full circle conversation. They didn't have GMOs, dude. Full circle conversation. They didn't have Was the tallest guy like very short? Was there not?

If you were like six foot. There weren't seven footers? If you were six foot like way back then, you were like a fucking giant. Really? Yeah. Like back in Gladiator days?

Yeah. No shit. So those are a bunch of short guys? Yeah, I would say the average person, I don't know what the average height was, but it around like five five like five four five five it makes it makes gladiator so much funnier that they're little guys also crows like five three yeah look at the little guy dude if you go to castles like doing them against a tiger they're fucked they're like

it makes them so much more impressive yeah Yeah, actually. Yeah. Russell Crowe killing a tiger. I'm like, yeah, all right, fine. Yeah. You know, even now with his fucking weird fat life. But you're telling me Brad Williams killed a fucking tiger? That's sick as hell. Yeah, dude. That guy's a fucking animal, dude.

Brad Williams was king back in the day. Brad Williams versus Tiger, dude? Fucking pay-per-view. It is, that would be so sick if everyone was tiny. Do you think we'll ever get back to like,

you know how like everything's getting more like sick and perverse inside of like reality TV and like you were talking about how like

all the murder shows have been done so it's getting more sadistic and like the details of it all. Like do you think we could ever get

to a point like where we're like back to like people fighting each other to the death for entertainment or something like not quite that but like some version of that where because ufc is i mean that's what twitter is becoming every time i open twitter it's just like i'm watching someone get fucking domed like i'm watching a murder every day i will open my phone right so like that is like the beginning of it, where eventually it'll just be like, cops will get renewed, and we'll just watch cops kill people.

I wonder if it'll trend, though, in the opposite direction, where everything will get really sweet and nice. No. No, I don't think so at all. No, I don't think there's any coming back from where we are right now. Yeah, well, it's not even right now.

I think there's something deep down in us that just likes to see the peril of things. I think so, but won't the... Yeah, but eventually people will go, the edgiest thing is a really sweet... Just live, laugh, love thing. All those pillows start going for like $1,000. Live, laugh, love pillow pillow be like, yo. Yeah, a Live Left Alone pillow is selling at stadiums.

Where did you get that? Dude, you're literally talking about like learning to appreciate your grandma's sweetness. Yeah, yeah. Just a fresh baked cookie will drive people crazy. Yeah, dude. I don't know. It's actually crazy how much I see people get murdered on Twitter. Yeah. That's probably your algorithm. I mostly see, like, cats.

Yeah, I see cats and people getting shot in the face. That's every morning I wake up and I'm like, oh, what a cute cat. And then it's just some Dominican couple fighting and then a guy walks up and blows his head off. How often are you scrolling through the For You lane of the...

Never on For You, this is my main timeline. blows his head off how often are you scrolling through the for you lane of the never and for you this is my main timeline like if i click on a video you know like auto plays the next video yeah yeah yeah that's i just keep doing that and all of a sudden like uh pages like crime.net pop up and i can't look away and it's it's bizarre how like desensitized i've become yeah because i remember like years ago remember those like boston dynamics videos like the robot dogs and they would like abuse the robot dog. They'd kick it. Yeah, yeah.

They'd kick and punch it. Just see if it could like stand. Yeah, and I'd go, ghetto, you're going to kill him! Like I'd get sad. And I was like, now I watch people get fucking shot in the head and I feel nothing.

Yeah. Like it's scary how like much of my brain has changed. Yeah, well it's always happening in a part of the world where you're like i don't live there yeah right no school shooting is constantly here what are you talking about yeah i know but you don't get video of that do you i'm constantly in a video of just like yeah not school shootings but just like hey y'all i'm at the middle school, and I'm about to go buck wild. No, just constantly buck wild. No, it's always like... Well, the suspect went buck wild at the local elementary school.

He was clearly out of touch, and that's why he did the shooting. There's no other way to say this. He kind of went brazy at the middle school. He was absolutely lit. Yeah. Well, the shooter was kind of out of pockets, the kids would say, at the middle school. No, I just like, I forgot what we're saying, but like, I just, it's, yeah, it's fucking nuts. It's always in like Bolivia or something.

A lot of the, it is like a lot of like Bolivian shit, but also I just see like, you know, it'll be like just CCTV footage of like something in Philly. Yeah. Where you're like, damn, dude, just fucking shot down in broad daylight. And I shouldn't be able to see this. But it's just like every day. It's all I see. That and porn.

My brain is becoming black sludge on Twitter. Yeah, Twitter's garbage. Dude, it's amazing what they're also able to get away with like just getting, you know, it's like you can're also able To get away with Like just getting You know it's like You can just watch people Like breastfeed

With like fake boobs Yes I know It's like Did you just get Like implants You haven't seen this No

No yeah Apparently you can't Censor like breastfeeding Because it's educational Educational So they'll be like Girls like I swear to god

It's just chicks with implants And like a baby That like they had Implants It's just girls with fat and a baby that they had someone give to them. It's just girls with fat titties. It's OnlyFan girls. It's promotion. And they have a fake plastic baby doll. And they whip their tit out and they put the tit against the plastic baby doll's face.

And it's uncensored. You're just watching a tit. What? Yes. You haven't seen this? No. Dude, I'm realizing my algorithm is so fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It's also like... Well, also, I'm not even mad at the individual videos, but what it's doing to your brain where it's like, oh, a cute dog. Oh, someone shot in the face. A nice titty with a baby.

A fucking... You know, like the combo. I literally go, cute dog, nice titty. Cute dog, murder, nice titty. I'm horny. Like, it's insane how like i can go from like doom and peril to the next 30 seconds i'm like i'm gonna kind of jerk off i think i don't know what's going on i'll be well fucking horned up yeah the anxiety well because you know that's the nice part about jerking off is you know what you're gonna get yeah you know absolutely it's the

most guaranteed yeah endorphin rush yeah yeah like you're gonna come is that what you mean or yeah yeah yeah you're gonna that's gonna no surprises you have complete control yeah hilarious how like i really don't so much anxiety yeah that's probably masturbation in a nutshell like a feeling of like momentary control like when you're stressed out or something you're like all right i can at least like do this and center myself because i've like accomplished something that i did all by myself yeah yeah yeah definitely oh it was always but then someone walks in and you're like mom get the fuck out of here you're ruining the one chance i had at autonoma now i gotta jerk off twice just to get over that. And now my dick is ruined.

Forever. Forever. Yeah. Don't you remember you told me you loved me? Don't you feel like a lot of the jerking off is anxiety? Yeah. Not really.

Not for me. I think it is. I don't think so. I don't think I do that. I find that I... I think I've done that for sure. But I think for the most part

I'm just kind of like just bored. Truly just like at home like now what do i do no for me it's like i can't sleep like my mind's racing and i just need to like jerk off and pass out because it's like i know i need to wake up like if i have to like wake up for a flight or something and i have my alarm set i'm like kind of worried that it won't go off or something because that's kind of happened before i'm like i just need to just stop my brain and that's how i'll do it that's usually what it is for me

it's never like 4 p.m i'm stressed out about taxes and i know yeah yeah that's a better way to put it because i'm thinking like general anxiety but yeah no it's like i need to sleep yeah yeah anxiety i feel like i that's diagnosed as like a bigger no that's more helped by like a run i definitely jerk off from being anxious for sure yeah yeah just like not being like if i'm like if i have anxiety it's usually just like an inactivity thing and i need to run or do something go for a walk you know yeah but like the fucking being able to sleep like i i don't know if you guys have the same experience but women in my experience are able to fall asleep almost immediately like they just go to bed and i'm like i cannot just like lay down and fall asleep like i need to watch a movie

yeah something needs to happen for me to be able to turn off. I need to just listen to people argue. Right out. Right out. What do you mean? Like podcasts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You listen to political podcasts as you go to sleep? It could be a debate about anything.

Wow. That's very interesting. Arguing makes me go right out. That's crazy. I mean, did your parents fight a lot? arguing makes me go right out. That's crazy. I mean, did your parents fight a lot? No. I mean, yeah, but not like

loud, scary stuff. But yeah, it was just always like, it was a lot of arguing. I do find, I mean, lately more than ever, I've listened to people talk while falling asleep and that's helped more than music or anything like that like just kind of like it's like somehow puts my

train of thought on like a off of me and onto something else and it's just like someone else is talking it's funny you say that because I've been like lately having a hard time falling asleep and I've been trying to watch The Shining like every night and I'm not sleepy but The Shining on and it's a been trying to watch The Shining like every night and I'm not sleepy

but The Shining, it's a guy trying to kill his whole family and I'm like, pass out. I'm like, I don't know what it is about this chaotic, heinous movie that I'm like,

it's kind of peaceful actually. Yeah, if you get like just used to the rhythm of it, it doesn't matter what it is. It starts with that drive into the mountains. Yeah, absolutely. Going right out. I'm reading that right now. Oh, you are. Yeah. Doesn't matter what it is. It starts with that drive into the mountains. Yeah. Absolutely. Going right out.

I'm reading that right now. You are? Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah, it's awesome. There's a lot of extra scenes that I like, you know,

like scenes with like the little boy in a therapist's office and like talking to the doctor and stuff and like he's like hearing what his mom is like thinking actively

and like, you know, you kind of get like a little bit more of a glimpse inside of everybody's head yeah well Stephen King like hated the movie he dated it? hated it. Oh really? he dated it yeah he went out with it he masturbated with them

why did he hate the movie? I think from what you're saying right now where it's like I think Kubrick was was trying to take more of the supernatural elements out of it and make it more about a male psychosis like being alone he's also sober in the movie I think it's more about being a dry drunk

and how that can drive you to mania and I think Stephen King was like you kind of misinterpreted the whole thing about the book I wrote because then there was a sequel made did you ever watch Doctor Sleep? I have not, but I saw that it exists. I really enjoyed that movie.

I think it's pretty good. And it's such a supernatural, freaky, weird movie. And you could tell the director honored the source code much more than Kubrick did. It's like, oh, so The Shining, I think, because you're reading it right now, you'll probably finish and tell me if it's way more supernatural.

But it sounds like it already is. Yeah, it has. So it's like, yeah, I think that it's just one of those things where he's just like dude that's not the book i wrote once and then it gets how do you show that you're like fuck how do you but how do you show that on film like without it being hokey and kind of corny well they do it in the movie you've seen the movie right yeah like there's like a what's his name scatman crothers you know he can like talk he is the shining also and talks to danny yes like via you know telekinetic whatever you know yeah and they're doing that a little bit in the book too but yeah it's just thinking in the

book it's probably much more heavy-handed like that's probably the focal point of it you know but i think yeah it's just like only it's weird how much you can show versus tell. You just get so much more done mentally with a book that you can't fucking do without voiceover. Any movie with too much voiceover fucking sucks. Well, I haven't read a book in, I think, maybe 11 years. Oh, man. I started reading. Yeah?

Yeah. You said you started? Yeah yeah i started reading like a lot i need to start doing it i just can't i read the same paragraph what you've been reading um i've been i read a bunch of books about writing which was actually kind of interesting but then i i started reading like i read that book uh is it called like loser or whatever no no no it wasn't called that that's just something you thought i think it's i think it's called it's called like chris you're a giant loser or something i'm a douche the guy who wrote uh american psycho wrote a book like his first book ever like it was like right out of college and it's a whole book about these kids in la

that all their parents are like studio execs and stuff like that and uh it's it's just like an anxiety the whole book is just like an anxiety attack like all these kids try to do is just find and watch the worst shit they could find like they just look for like dead bodies in the street they like like horrible weird twisted fucked up shit happens just because they're that's a pretty good premise because i've seen some like like i was at a friend's house and he like lived near like the hills. Less than zero. That's what it's called. Oh, okay.

Yeah. A buddy of mine like lived in that whole like area. And like, I was just like, we were out and I just saw like a bunch of kids like playing on a, at a birthday party, but it was like a fenced in area in like the Hollywood Hills. And I'm like, this is not a childhood. Like this feels like it's got to be some kind of like fabricated because your parents are making a living writing about humans experiences that would like create a real life but at the same time it's got to be pretty

it's like anything else but it's mostly normal sure most people yeah and then it's just like there are the kids that are fucking whacked out like because that was the weird part about reading that book is like i grew up in a town that was kind of like that adjacent and i was like not part of the super crazy like billionaire hedge fund kids group but i like went to school with those kids and so it's like i don't know i feel like i had a pretty normal childhood but those kids you go over their houses it was wacky yeah yeah it was real wacky where it's just like that kind of thing where it's like the kid lives in a mansion and their parents are never home. Yeah. And you're like, this is... The Shining.

The Shining. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Dude, I'm going to fully steal Devin Costa's bit, but he was talking about The Shining. We were talking about The Shining a lot recently. He just rewatched it. I watched it the other day.

And he's like, it's so funny because... And I am just fully stealing fully stealing his joke but he's like it's about a guy who's five months sober and he's like losing his mind and it's like it'd be so funny if you rewrote that movie because i've been laughing at this all week and he just has a drink and he goes my bad guys dude devon said that they did i was like i I've been thinking about it nonstop for like a week. Just like, am I bad? Oh, shit. I got crazy.

What a kid. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. All right. I think we did it. We did it.

Get out of here. That was beautiful. Thank you for having us, by the way. Thank you for doing it. Super fun. Yeah. Thank you for doing it.

Fun as hell. Fucking, yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. If and when, Best Guys Pod on all things you like podcasts on and at Ryan Donahuman for any dates and all that good stuff. Yeah.

Hate Watch Podcast. And my handle is 420naughtyboy if you want to follow me. Fuck yeah. That gets better with age, I think. It does. 420naughtyboy. It never changed. I'm going to be like 40 years old. That gets better with age I think. 420 Naughty Boy never changed. I'm going to be like 40 years old

and I'm like it's 420 Naughty Boy. I'm sitting here with Ryan Donahuman and I'm like I wish I thought of 420 Naughty Boy. The Oscar goes to

420 Naughty Boy. And that's Chris O'Connor. Come on now. Bye bye.