Stuff Island - Good Ole Days - Stuff Island #199

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel  @LookatDish  where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Go to Squarespace.com when you're ready to build your website and use code STUFFISLAND to save 10% off of your first order Take the first step to get some help and get 10% off your first month at Https://www.Betterhelp.com/stuffisland Get your first month FREE for Bluechew - use promocode "stuffisland" on https://www.bluechew.com to get your first month for FREE SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are two cameras on? No, just one. I said they're kissing them. They're riding. I got that one camera watching the other. Yeah. You need an older brother camera making sure you're not being gay. If that camera thinks about shutting off.

So close. I can smell your breath. You think about doing anything to my boys. I'll fucking call you out. yeah baby god yeah caught in the rainstorm the whole city shuts down yeah it's like Atlanta getting an inch of snow

the fucking Estonians what do you call Austinians Austinites Austinites they fucking break down dude they pull over on the side of the road in front of other businesses and you wonder where your kid's forehead is getting smashed into the fucking

to the dashboard while I was nervous There's pit or patter. It's like, keep going at a normal pace. Drop your wipers at the highest fucking pace. Yeah, yeah. And keep it moving. Yeah, just go slow.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, don't pull over. Pull it over in a rainstorm. You should be arrested. Arrested immediately. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fine. They should.

That's a fine. They should just get cops out on the street in the rain jackets. Yeah. Ready for people to pull over. I've been here a year and a half. I've seen three cops outside of Sixth Street. Yeah. Three cops.

Yeah. I need those cops aren't even being cops No, they're just breaking a red light They're just too hot in their car They're just like fucking They throw the lights on

They go 20 feet And fucking around with people Shut it right off Oh damn Yeah hell of a start To this afternoon I mean you're going through it This is the start of hell week

Yeah When I say week Hell months I don't know It's kind of over I'm over it dude Yeah I'm over it

Are you? Yeah Guess who isn't We got a U-Haul box. What did you say? Guess who is it? Dude, it's tough. It's tough.

It's like, I hate this now because it's tough. But you love the future for what, you know. Yeah, yeah. It gives you, it's great. It's exciting. You disappear. You're fucking, you're bopping around everywhere. Yeah.

You can't be consistent with what we do. And then. It also is the tough part about having a lady is that when you go. She opened. her mouth is that hold on let me crack a beer

at the other that dude you can't that was an absolute crush you can't move like a dude moves

right like if I was if I was moving somewhere yeah like and I was coming back yeah

it's like I would leave with three pairs of underwear two pairs of jeans yeah some shorts I'll buy stuff

out there yeah and then you buy stuff out there and you forget to bring it home that's guy stuff that's fucking guy's

dude I could leave for a year with just a carry-on. Yeah. And it wouldn't be a problem. Yeah. You know, but you bring a lady. They're like, you know, they're like a hamster. You got to have like a... Salad spinner. Yeah, you got to have the wheel. A plant that's half dead. You got to build them like a house. You've got a bunch

of toilet paper they can chew. Yeah, yeah. They're dogs. You're bringing your dog. You've got to have all the ingredients. Yeah. You got to walk your fucking dog. And you're so mad at them, but then you get there and they kind of make a house like... 100%. When they got... It's so true.

When they finally get to you, you're like, now I know your words. Now I understand why we're together. Because I would have never done that. I would have threw my three pairs on wear three T-shirts and one pair of jeans. I would have lived in an all-white room. Yeah. Yeah. Just nothing on the walls.

Yeah. It would have been chaos. And I'd spend, yeah, I'd spend two months of that being so fucking depressed and being like, why do I feel like shit? Well, last year. Air mattress.

Yeah. Window this room. In the middle of Westchester, PA, where you can't walk to a market. I wonder why I feel bad about things. Yeah, God, it just feels, I don't know. I can take a $30 over to go a mile to a Miller's alehouse,

to eat shitty wings. I don't wait 35 minutes for the, you Uber to come? Blow out my hole in a fucking place that doesn't have plumbing. True. But this is the, that's the dream. You're living the dream. It is a dream. Go on the total dream fall

Hang with the boys in fall Yeah Fall Philly Sweetshirt time Yeah You better pack Multiple sweatshirts Dude

I got my eye on those fills Dude Yeah Phil's are fucking hot I know And it scares me Yeah I don't like

This kind of heat No I like to See I'm the opposite Really? Yeah I want heat late Heat early Which we did a couple years ago

We got like Over 100 games broke our franchise record. I know. That's a bad fucking thing. That's a bad thing. This hot right now? The boys are coming together.

I know. I mean, I guess it's good. Cowboys Eagles in two weeks time. But then they get that weak Cowboys Eagles in two weeks? Yeah, two weeks. Is that a home game or is that in Dallas?

It's a home game. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be fucking bananas. Yeah. You should be there. Yeah. You should be there. I'll try to give it to that.

I guarantee you, Shane's going there. I don't know. That's crazy. Oh, he might not be there. I don't. He might not be physically in Pennsylvania. I think he's going to Notre Dame. Is that September 5th?

Eighth? Or fourth? What was it? Thursday night football? Yeah. September 4th. Thursday night football. First, first professional game,

prime time, Eagles, Cowboys. Oh, Mama. Yeah, holy Christmas. I mean, you've ruined other schedules to get the fun shit, dude. That's one you want to make. Yeah, yeah. That's going to be a fucking banner. Dropping the banner.

Yeah. Oh, my God. In front of the Cowboys. They're going to have the flag out there. They'll probably have a flyover. It's the first game of the season. Yeah. It's going to be fucking nuts.

815, prime time. Everybody's blacked out. Holy mackerel. Yeah. Coughing through an N-word. you know what I mean try not hide it a little bit

I love that you get drunk and you think everyone's saying in the end or it's just you how do you sneeze dude yeah just blaming everybody else dude that would be so if you had some weird nasal a racist nasal cavity

and that just came out every time you sneeze oh my god you know buddy like a duck calling thing yeah just whatever whatever's up there just flap the right way

my god I would if I figured that out about a buddy I would figure out what he was allergic to I'd be blowing

like sage into his presence just collecting dust just trying to get him to set the inward through

his nasal cavity just because you can also go I didn't do it yeah if they had if they had like

trick candles for sneezing yeah you know what I mean never goes out the candles happy birthday

yeah you know it says it 10 times in a row and you're like, enough. On your birthday? It was funny the first six times. Oh, man.

Yeah, I got assaulted at the mart picking up these sighties. The Mexicans? There's a wonderful transsexual woman that works at the marty around the corner. Oh, okay. And she's fucking hungry when she sees me to. Really? Yeah. You are a deadly a sketch.

She says, yeah, yeah. course it's like yeah i get it have fun you'd be a huge victory for that oh my god yeah and also if i wanted it to be perfect i know yeah yeah a kmart k slash mart not the actual kmart just some dump in the middle nowhere blasting this dude out the fucking shitty bathroom i'm getting all horny about it but he said smile oh nice because i ran so as you know i came i got like i got like 90% of the way here forgot the cards Yeah

And I go fuck I gotta go back So I'm hot I'm fucking hot I'm walking in there hot I grab some guard I grabbed the fucking 12 pack of societies

And I was like Let's just You know Let's regroup here The rain's slowing down Yeah And she says to me She's like smile

And I went What? She goes smile And I went I did one of those like first grade things but then like she got me dude she got me how'd she just like you're too handsome to not smile and then i got pissed because then i realized like how women feel you know it's like fuck you for being in control of my emotions right now yeah i feel a certain way

we have a thing and then we're we're gone you know this is i'm buying something i'm leaving but for you to stop me and go smile you're too handsome like this is what i'm man would do to a straight lady does feel pretty nice it felt nice to release the smile i will say that but i hated the control that this fucking woman had on me you know what i mean that i actually fucking i bent the knee yeah that's a probably the worst thing to say it's but yeah i was like yeah no you're right i should uh i should lighten up a bit but you know the weather and you know life right and she's like it doesn't matter and i got real fucking anger when I got my I got me in my truck yeah bitch took me I mean you got to

this is what women do this is what women do they're smile they'll get they'll get hot for you for a second and they go fuck that man I don't know someone in a bodega just goes it's gonna be all right yeah yeah you kind of got to go true yeah yeah yeah you're right you're right I mean that's Yoda so bad that's Yoda running a bodega you're Yoda I wonder what the actual rate of women getting hit with a smile you're too pretty that's what yeah that's all of it i don't know man i don't know if it's as high as it that's literally the foundation of smile you're too hot i know because it's a it's a sexual but who do you think really made it who do you think really made it an issue was it the with the people that are getting

told to smile or do you think it was their fat friend next to them 100% getting pissed off right no one's telling them to smile everyone everyone's going yeah go to sleep snore you smile you snore that's very funny do me a fair he snore

can you fall asleep you're so ugly I would like you to take a dirt nap I want a very obvious tell that you're asleep yeah I don't want to think you're awake secretly

I get it I get the notion of like have a you know look the part because even when you're not in everyday life regardless of who you are and what you do and where you're at it's it's imperative to act like a happy person what do you mean it's just it's nice I don't think it's look at home

you your girl your kids your close friends whatever it is your family they know and can read you but like if you're just jumping jumping into a mart for some gum and some fucking white cloths yeah i don't need you to tell me how to feel i know but someone hits you this is already a sad order sure it's a very sad order and if i have a sad face i don't need you to pick me up because you're not a fucking boardwalk clown you're not going to fucking do it you'll do for a second i don't know if someone goes look you're a good looking guy you got everything going for you this is a white man that now is a woman

If it was a natural black woman, she could tell me anything, dude. Black woman here, here's the, here's the pyramid. Here's the pyramid. Yeah. There's nothing more powerful than a black woman who works at a liquor store just before her shift ends. True. That is the most powerful. It's the most optimistic, energetic.

She will give you the greatest compliment of your life. Yes. It's like when a random black dude on the streets at night, I'm like, yo, I like your kicks. Will you get the kicks in? black woman liquor store how you doing baby you look gorgeous

my I will have soreness I'll have a hard time eating the next day from smiling but if you're just going to give me

that you know that bullshit to make me feel a certain way that I don't feel right now that's fake that's a problem

now I feel fucking assaulted I don't know and I think that's what women go through most of the time I don't know man

I feel like a trans lady compliments that's like, can be a high-risk maneuver. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're drifting.

You could piss some dudes off. Yeah, we're drifting in the desert. Dude walks in there with a big belt and a cowboy hat. Yeah. He's not getting a smile. Right. So maybe that's the game. Can I break this fucking guy?

Yeah, yeah. Based on the energy of the person. And she's probably right because I came in fucking aggressive. Yeah. And brows are down. She took a chance. My brows are in the tip of my fucking pants. You're number one trigger.

could be a trans person hitting on you. You know what I mean? Yeah. And she still was like, this guy needs such a pick-me-up. I will risk death. Yeah. Or at least violent assault. Which could be her thing.

To compliment this guy. It's too important. Yeah. His day's going so bad. Also, I'm such from a different world from what she's used to bopping in that I keep calling a Kmart, but it's something mart. Yeah, it's a bodega. It's a bodega.

Yeah. She gets fucking worked up every time she sees me. And it's fun. There's a little banter. There's a really repartee? I have to be like, your hair looks great. Makeup's a mess, dude. It's not good?

No, her makeup is horrendous, dude. Oh, man. She's got, it's, uh, it's, it looks like a, I don't know, like an all pro running back with fucking. Yeah. The eye black running down the face a bit. the eyeliner's all out of whack the hair is kind of it's fake and and weird it's shifted yeah that's that's like kind of the number one reason i'm happy i'm not trans yeah is i just couldn't pull it off wow your shirt says something different i mean i could get the clothes down maybe you get the

clothes down this is how a trans would would dress would start yeah look you got your fucking you got your sneaks on i don't know i feel like sweatpants and a shirt for uh for an or oyster bar you don't like this shirt i think it's great found this on the ground today i bet you did i'll put that on yeah yeah except from blue chew but that's what that's what i would do i would yeah i was trans i would my makeup would be shitty i wouldn't be able to get the hair right i would i would have i would wear slacks and like a blouse i don't know man i think the fun the fun part about shifting shifting teams is like you can focus on like there's someone many YouTube videos.

But that's what you would do. I'm just saying I don't have like the... Yeah, right, right, right, right, right. Like, if you became a woman... My transverse your traits? Oh, my God. Yeah, that's why we work, dude. I would be such a cunt to you all the time.

Oh, my God. Oh, you really had to lay it on. Yeah. It would be a chunk of lipstick stuck in your eye. I'm like, that's not where that goes. That was for your lips. Oh. It would be a camping

And you'd be so annoyed by me Because I'd be a dead giveaway That you're a man Yeah you'd be fucking it up For the squad Yeah Yeah yeah I would not be

Yeah Looking good Yeah I mean this is You'd see me And then you'd look at you And you'd start going All right something

This is all this time dude This is why you select your group Your crew to go outside And socialize You gotta pick your fucking team It's fantasy football all for trainees. But I feel like chicks work in the opposite way.

Like they always want to have one ugly one so they all look better. I feel like in the trans community, you probably got it. You can't have someone out there with a mustache. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like you're undercover. It's secret. It's, you know, it's an intelligence operation.

Yeah. It's top secret. It is top secret. You can't have someone wearing an allied uniform if you're all dressed as Nazis. Yeah, so I got burnt 14 years ago. when they do it right boy it's hard to I know I know but if she was walking with a gang of

of other people that just weren't cutting it yeah you would have gotten wise yeah yeah just a gaggle of Philadelphia Eagles wearing the fucking dresses you would be like you're hiding enemies of the state I'm just drinking milk

trying to figure out how many trainees are under the boards Oh, man. Yeah. So how are you feeling prior to the, for the trip? Uh,

what do you learn from love? It's like one of those things. It kind of feels like it's not happening. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because everything we do is. Because I haven't changed anything. I've been,

I've been out all week. I've been drinking, I've been doing shows. Yeah. But that's everyone that you're going to be in a room with to write the show is going to be doing the same thing. I don't know. You get up there. I got big plans.

I'm going to clean it up up there. I'm going to try to get jacked. I'm going to try to get fucking ripped. Yeah? Yeah. Trying to get on a nuts schedule. But extra protein? No, I'm not going to try to get.

I'm not going to try to get big. I just want to... I'm going to just fucking... I'm going to try to shred out. Dude, I've always said this. You're an anomaly. People said this about me because of how I treat my body.

If you treat your body the way I do, it's freakish. You're the same way. We'll see. You have an inability... I know. To go too far from... That has been true,

but it's like, eventually I'm going to cross to like an event horizon. And that's not going to be true. damn if you were fat I would love that so much dude if your eyes started squinting

because your cheese came up because you got old fucking boiled fucking oil and your cheek bones dude I'd get spots yeah oh my god you would destroy if I got fat

I would yeah my skin would like that's the thing that would really go first this I you'd start seeing it I'd start bubbling yeah I like that

Yeah, I like that a lot. I get skin tags all over the place. Oh, God. Zits, spots. Let me tell you. I'd run the gamut, dude. You can have zits and spots? Alcohol freckles.

Here's what your best friend will not allow a skin tag. Joshua. You see this? This is autographed by the one and only. Sequin Barkley. Says to Tommy. best of luck yeah

best of luck thank you for the gift I love it I'm making it sound like he was in this living room sent this to me directly but it meant just as much let's fucking go

look how beautiful that looks I should do an ad this episode is brought to you by blue choo guys end of the room dick first like Sequan Barclay bluechu isn't just a tablet it's a cheat code for your crotch stronger harder

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I try blue chew and now my hog is a zip code in voting rights. not for women all right guys this isn't about it's just about performance this is about legacy or third legacy give your sorry there it is give her group her group chat something talk about you know when you lay it down they're talking about how it gets up nothing makes you more of a legend than a little blue chew discover your options at blue chew.com and we've got a special deal for our listeners as always get your first month of blue chew free just use promo code Stuff Island at checkout and pay $5 for shipping, only five bucks. You get a whole, a whole first month of Blue Chew, just for five bucks.

Join Blue Chew's first mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BluToo.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to Bluchu for sponsoring the podcast, Stuff Island. All right, guys, this episode is also brought to you by Squarespace. We love them. You guys already know them through us. This podcast is sponsored. by Squarespace. It's a big fucking few.

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use offer code stuff I want to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And that's fucking big, 10% off. If you have no idea what you're doing, Squarespace, drag, drop, bingo, bingo. I was laughing midway through that ad, because I was thinking of Jodorosa when we did Jodorosa's podcast in New York. And I could hear, he goes, you guys just want to wait a little bit? I'm going to do a couple ads. And I can hear him fumbling and fucking up. He kept going, fuck!

Do it again. It was like that whole mean Fuck it, we'll do it live Just hearing Dorosa Going nuts going Duh! Run it back Me and Chris are waiting

Like Jesus Christ It's been 30 fucking men This kid Can't choke through a goddamn mad Yeah Dude I will If I ever showed up To do a podcast

And I saw the growth Of a skin tang on Any part of your body I will hit you in the back of the head With a fucking hard object And I will chew that fucking thing off like a rat because I couldn't possibly talk to you

without locking into a skin tag Yeah it's nuts Even the name's skin tag The doctors knew They're like let's bully these fat fucks Yeah I know this is probably not scientifically accurate But I do feel like sweating Prevents skin tags

Yeah Like a jog I don't know A jog like a running Yeah Athletic sweat Prevents skin tags What's your athletic

What are you going to do out there? swing the club of gervyn i'm going to swing the club but i'm gonna i'm gonna get the i dude i really want to like i want to i want to stretch i want to do like like that kind of stretchy weighted stuff you know what i mean like a flexibility thing brother you know do you know what i've been doing lately yoga no no no what uh i found this guy on the internet who he doesn't do old school push and pull stuff anymore I'm all about that that type of like new age

lunges he does all lunges and he does this thing with a kettlebell where he flips this way with a front lunge and then goes this way the back lunge and does that for 20 on each leg

and it's brutal fuck you up yeah yeah because you're gonna get your buns not that you need it no I need you're gonna get your legs and your flexibility yeah

whereas you just power squads like what are you doing that for what's this for why are we why are we trying to break our record from fucking college about yeah a chess pressed yeah who gives a fuck it's embarrassing look delicious dude what I was in L.A. dude this is true look delicious

I was in L.A. last week and I met up with Connor McNutt Devin Costa and Ben Avery yeah and we got fucking laced we got fucked up yeah that's a that's a good group that's well you say good i mean it's one of the best groups of all time but when you start the engine on that that's a good

group yeah yeah we start the engine one you're like you start the engine you're running a gas a second state over they're fucking animals and i'm on board we we we did uh a couple days a couple nights and And then we shot at an L.A.D., a Look at Dish. Okay. With those guys at a legendary bar called the Golden Gopher in downtown L.A. And it was fucking incredible. But it was one of those trips where I was like, I didn't book shows outside of a pod, doing Look at Dish.

My girl, you were gone. Yeah. You were on the road. So I said, this is a good opportunity for us. It's chill. Yeah. And it was. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not built for chilling And I invited the wrong group Oh was a lady hanging with her friends No she was with us getting fucking Whoa Yeah yeah yeah it was it was a full That's a high wire act

Full blown shit We're talking a hundred feet up That's a high wire act And then the last day The last day we had a late check Out at 1.30 our flight was till 4 It was like a Monday and

and I had two bottles of wine that were unopened in the hotel room and I'm like, I'm not going to waste this and a lot of times I just leave a bottle of wine for room service? Room service. Yeah, and I'll write a note, leave a tip, say this is for you,

and then this time I had to buy a new luggage. Why? Because we found our luggage on the fucking turnstile, opened up. No. And thank God, my girl. girl is like intense about

luggage dude she she does that you know that internal zipper where you pack one side and then zips up the whole side yeah zips up the whole side the zippers broke from the main latch so it was just open with all our shit both

contained so we had to go to a fucking I want this company away or whatever it is some high end I spent a thousand bucks on this oh my god crazy crazy shit I will say yeah luggage can get away from you quick quick so here's my point this fucking maid got a bottle of wine and a nice luggage because i fix a zipper but my girl was like we can't take that back and

i was like we can because i paid 400 hours for it the zipper works she's well it didn't work on the way there and i was like you know what fine we've both been blacked out for five days i'm not going to fight this fucking battle let's just go to the pool at nine am i'm going to take one bottle of wine and i'm going to slowly pour into a paper cup until the bar opens i was hoping to leave and then go shop and you know by like 12 this fucking italian god walked through the pool yeah it was only me in in mar and then this italian and his wife and you said hey smile you're too handsome not to smile so funny Have a paper cup of wine.

Yeah, yeah. Turn things around. And it was the sincere, by the way. Your favorite wine? Yeah, yeah. Can't miss for the Santerre. She locks a conversation with us because she was on the float. She was a wonderful woman.

They own a restaurant in San Francisco for 30 years. Did she paddle over? This guy's from Florence. No, he was, she was just, she was doing her own thing. This guy was from Florence. He had fucking, like, white, majestic hair, dude. Yeah. Big white beard, sunglasses.

jacked in a way that was like natural like not over the top but like old man butcher jacked butcher jacked a man that's been running a restaurant for 30 fucking year and came from florence dude he came up and after my girl was talking to this the mom the lady and we just hit it off so like from 10 to 12 locked in bar opens up we just start getting fucked up dude damn his name's Massimo. Yeah. Massimo Bellini. Can't.

Are you fucking out of your mind? You know, one's leaving that pool. I'll miss my flight. I told him I was like, I'll sleep outside. I want two more hours from Massimo Bellini.

He's got me perfect teeth. Incredible. I never saw his eyes because his shades were still long because he's the coolest man I've ever met my life. It was like an ad for dude. They're part of his body.

Yeah. That was like our exiting. It was like, all right, well, at least we'll calm down the last day before we hit the flight. And then Mossimo walks in. I'm like, why? Am I not going to fucking scoot around with this wop? Yeah, you got to. It does feel like in a million years left unchecked, the Italians would evolve sunglasses just on their face.

Yeah. Just a sunglasses with a condom over it. Yeah. The sexual assaulting mascot. Just the turtle shell. sunglasses so what did you guys get into you just do just pound of beers jump in the pool jump out more drinks yeah back in the pool yeah out of the pool talking about their kids talking about us you know do you do that thing where you both go down one step at a time no with a drink in hand

it's great question though chris i don't i'm not against that i would absolutely do that no there was There was no one around because the last time we were at the pool which was two days before that because we shot the look at this the day prior it was a gay pride float the whole pool

that can be fun too fun to a certain extent but here's where I got fucking upset they had reserved tables there was a minimal amount that I don't like hold on you're not going to really like this so they've reserved tables

no one's sitting in just fucking towels and then they went into the sun outside the cabana and then put their shit all over the fucking chairs there's not that many chairs i would say like 30 30 chairs small

rooftop pool yeah and now they're all in the pool all fucked up the only conversations I heard was I took his annex this morning and it was all coked up last night and then there's some big fat fucking lesbian

on top of a a peacock, a peacock float. And when I say peacock, it took up half the fucking pool and this bitch was a monster. It was a lake float. This, yeah, and she was a lake. This bitch was a monster, dude.

And she's obviously got colored bangs and all that shit. She's screaming to both sides. And I go, oh, we got one, I had one drink and I go, now I see what's going on. Everybody here knows each other. It's a fucking birthday party.

It's a gay birthday party. Which is fine. Have fun. But you can't take all the fucking... I don't believe you. All the real estate? You're going to take all the real estate of a small fucking pool. No, you go.

And then act. You get Putin real quick. Buddy, I did. Yeah, yeah. I did. She saw a friend that she knew. That chair is the Donboss. From out of the peacock.

I got news for you. Reserving chairs, I've never believed in reserving a chair. It's crazy. Laying a towel down and then going swimming and then putting a drink down. Dude, they did this. for like 10, 15 chairs and took up the whole fucking pool while these pigs just pissed

in the pool. In the pool. They didn't ever get out. Yeah, pool heats up. Pull heats up. Pool heats up fast. Yeah, my bangs actually changed colors for a bit. Dude, I've rolled up a blanket. Yeah.

The drink, the drink is depends on the ice level of that drink. Yeah. That's a good point. You know? Yeah. If, you know, like, see where you're drink's at now? Yeah, the condensation. Yeah, that's the edge.

If there's no more condensation, you're out. Yeah, yeah, that's a free chair, yeah. Get the fuck out of the chair. Even if, like, you weren't even there anymore. Yeah. It's a great move. Yeah. It's a great move. I even think that there's a level of condensation, like, because that's just starting

to, to mist up. Yeah. But if you left that for a little while, it'd have the big drops. Yeah. Out of here. Yeah. Out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

If the outside of that drink is soaked. Dude. you're fucking dog this is dripping this is the most I've ever connected with you like in three years dude that's crazy it's so perfect

this should be like I have a whole idea I'd take a picture of it and if a hotel came up and said something I'd go look at this drink yeah time code this is at 227 that bulldike on the pelican

it had this many pellets of ice now look at it now look at it no one took a sip yeah it's just all fucking yeah it's all real estate mm-hmm fuck them yeah it's a yeah it's a vacant property you need squat yeah so i took uh my girl invited her best friend and her husband and her son and i couldn't wait for the son to get there so i could play okay you know i want to get in the water and fuck around yeah all the adults are doing the thing and i also what kind of kids showed up is this a kid that can dive and catch a ball? No.

Oh, okay. But I could force him to swim and, like, have fun amongst the fucking muck. Oh, yeah. So I'd grab his ankle and, like, rip him around. Yeah. I was causing some fucking problems. Yeah, get a kid in there, break it up. Yeah, break it up.

Because what are you going to yell at? You yell at me? I fight you. Yell at him, I fight you. What are you going to do when you go, ah, it's just playing. They're just playing. Yeah. So I started throwing them, and then I grabbed that, you know, I could do that little squirt.

And I would just fight. We just fired just over his shoulder. Bingo. Hit somebody. I know exactly. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm so sorry. He's six.

Yeah, we're just having fun with kids. Yeah, we're not having a drunk birthday party with Coke and Xanax. Yeah, 100%. Fucking pieces of shit. We're not putting lamps on our assholes. Trying to teach my nephew how to swim. Like the good old days. Get the kickboard out.

Just have them go right. too, the parties. Yeah, divide and conquer. It was fun. That rules. Yeah, it was great. So you're staying at a place of the pool just all week?

Yeah. Dude, it's called Hotel Per Law. It's in downtown L.A. Downtown L.A. is... Chaos. Disgusting. Yeah. It is chaos and disgusting.

It never... Just like I feel like, Center City Philadelphia never recovered from COVID. Yeah. Where there's, like, still... they just let people do the worst things there's shit on every other fucking block

and it's dangerous looking even though it's not but to a regular tourist and they go I want to go to L.A. I've never been to L.A. But here's where so the Golden Gopher is like very close to the hotel her friend works there

we knew you get you get a price break so it's a really nice hotel when you're in the hotel yeah it's only yeah it's only like a couple hundred bucks where it'd be like four hundred dollars if it was in a nice right right right part of L.A

yeah exactly so it's like fuck it I know this life yeah I know how to deal with these fucking animals and you don't have to spend that much time there you take it Uber's fucking everywhere anyway Bingo yeah yeah it's not like you can walk somewhere yeah and you get a pool

that most people aren't there unless it's a gay pride parade yeah no I would that's a great move great move that's why the homeless are nice bingo you know yeah they level out the game yeah yeah keep them around give us a little downtown area where pussies are afraid this is a mayor yeah yeah i'm sprinkling the homeless where all my friends and family can hang out yeah get a nice where are you staying this weekend yeah yeah hold on let me get my bag of fucking useless move them over there rates will be coming down yeah time

shout out my awesome dude I was I was out in Cleveland in the fucking yeah how was your week

it was it was great but the Morgan Wallin was there yeah yeah he was playing

stadium yeah did he sold out two nights at the fucking Browns stadium yeah

and the hotels were insane oh yeah the hotels for there was a comfort in

that was $1,200 a night and you're a microwave. Can you imagine? That's crazy. It's crazy.

They have to let eight people stay in that room. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Did you go to the... No, I was... But they, I didn't get like, I guess,

whatever normal hotel they book you out, which is awesome. I was out by the airport. It's already fixed rate, so they don't fuck with you, right? I was out by the airport. The club paid for it. Yeah.

But I got in there a night early and I was like looking at hotels just like, what the fuck? yeah and i mean we know there's from like opening for shane it's like when he's in town everything is jacked oh yeah yeah you're selling at the local stadium arena the fucking chicken fingers are 13 dollars it's crazy what am i doing me get pissed all about 13 folks you're like doing this because shane's here shane's next to me going we're like shut up this shut the fuck she she plucked

I'm paying for it anyway. I got to piss real quick. Go piss. Hey guys, this episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Jeterosa needs it. I need it. Chris needs it. These days, it feels like there's advice for everything.

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slash stuff island do it do it for your wife do it for Alexandra do it for fucking Seyquine Barclay look at that dude huh

how sick says to Tommy oh wait what are you doing doesn't it look right up there oh man gonna beat off to that tonight what

the quick piss or just this outfit what no what do you do I did I walked out I walked out and my lady was like

what the fuck are you doing yeah good that means she's still looking at you don't worry about it let me tell you something this is a good test to see if you're if your lover like it's still It's locked in, yeah, yeah.

Just walk out with a pinwheel hat. If she doesn't mention it, break up with her, dude. Break up with her. That's not going to happen. No, I just heard a pitter-patter on the fucking, on the roof in your bathroom going, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I have PTSD from, you know, Philly and New York going. Here they go again. Yeah, raccoons. Yeah. Yeah. Raccoons. Dude, Philly was the first time that I experienced the violent raccoons.

Oh, are you talking about Puerto Ricans? No, no. Oh, I'm dead serious. Oh, really? No, I meant like, boof, boff, boff. It was actually perfect. I know you didn't mean that, but I was like, yeah, the raccoons. It was also my first experience.

What a sweet boy. What a sweet boy. Oh, the raccoons? How about the raccoons? Pouncing on the roof? Yeah, I guess. Sounds like they're yelling about rent. Yeah.

I didn't know raccoons. Wow. how are your shows they were good yeah yeah they were all sold out which is sick thank you everyone who came to cleveland that was fucking awesome Chris a big ticket big ticket O'Connor I was in a little room you're big ticket doesn't matter dude dude up against Morgan Wallin spitz big he did pretty good yeah you did pretty good everyone was so mad 150 it's 90 75 dude what are we talking about have fun man I was a dream yeah it was a dream I have fun yeah it was a dream I have fun

Yeah, it was great. Hilarit is fucking awesome. The food there is so fucking good. Really? Yeah, remember the steaks and shit? Chicago? No, Cleveland. Oh, yeah.

They had, there was that, like, weird restaurant bar area that's like the green room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick's, he's sprys ever. Dude, he's still slinging. Man. Yeah. Beast. I can't tell if he's 23 or 100.

Dude, he's 90 million years old. Yeah, yeah. He's still, he's there every. night. Let me know if I get you some. Yeah, yeah. He's shaking hands. He's making jokes. Let's go. My girl's family came to the show. He talked to them for like a fucking hour. Yeah. He was, yeah. He has missed a beat. And that side club is so cool. It's like a night nightclub with all the lighting. It is. It's a crazy club. Yeah. I don't know what's going on. It's got like an 80s cocaine bar type of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Scarface. Yeah.

But it was nice. Cleveland is, you know, Cleveland. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. it but me too me too cleveland i don't know whether it's suffering from the pandemic or i don't know maybe it's maybe it's coming back it was interesting because it was slammed the fucking indians were playing morgan wallen was there they had some other thing going on yeah some other concert that was down this october fest was happening there's nothing fun they were getting nothing nothing more fun than a dog shit city man dude you should have seen the animals going to this fucking concert yeah Dude, there are some girls...

Let me tell you something. They're squealing the N-Ward through their noses. They are whistling Dixie. That's true. If you genuinely did have that problem, you'd have to keep doing Coke until something changed. Yeah. It's going to destroy your nose.

You're like, I know. That's why I'm doing it. I need to wreck whatever's in there, so I stop sneezing the N-W-W-N-W-W. I'm tired of saying the inward of church. I'm going to kill the cartilage in my fucking nose. Whatever that guy's swinging, gets in your nose. He comes flying out.

Well, that's great. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, that's a fucking dream, dude. It was nice. But now we're back. Now we're back. Now we're back. But then not.

Because you're leaving. Yeah, leaving Saturday. But then you're up. Huh? Then you're up. You're coming up. Yeah, I'm coming up. Yeah.

A couple weeks? two weeks yeah we'll do we'll do back and forth we learned from last year yeah not to do yeah

although I kind of like the I like the Zoom pot every now and again oh it's horrendous I know but it's a little fun I don't mind it everybody else

it's not my fucking problem we did a nice job with it last time no I thought it looked good we did we had a nice little setup we did the

we did the new Heights pod setup as near as we could get it yeah i guess we didn't go right down the shoot totally but i do agree with like the purists where they're like i can tell even if you're talking and the technology is elevated to the point where there's no like lag yeah you see there's still don't have the same feel yeah you know yeah when i say purists it's like people like to see you us you want to see you want to be in the same space it does just It does change it a little bit. Yeah.

Because you also say things and act differently because there's no like waiting. Right. You know. But we don't wait. You don't really feel the weight on the... I've never waited for anything when I talk to. I actually skip over my own words. I cut myself off.

I beat you. You did. You cut me off. Yeah, I got you off. Well, it's exciting. I mean... You know? Are you excited? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited to be up there.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it'll be fun. I really liked it last time. I like being on the schedule. The routine is something that I actually really... Yeah, I need that. Enjoy. It's nice to have that. Yeah. Accountability is everything. I know. When you're just like, oh, well, I have to be up and... And then it's like you have to be... It's all the things that you did hate, like having to be up and going to work. But then going to work is actually fun.

Well, you forget that you're fun. that your fun is work. So, like, this is what, like, I don't know, Mar and I had this conversation last night where it's like, this whole week I'm going to wean off and then do the weed drinks again.

It's like, well, I'm awake and alive at crazy hours. Imagine if comedy shifted, like, culturally to a point where, like, everyone just wanted to go to a comedy show at, like, noon and, like, 2.30. disgusting no no but then you were done this is gas digital dude no no no that's what they do no but think about it because then you like then you could just day drink like oh you're this is

no you fucking it's crazy I'm just saying just try to come with come with you bite your nose to spite your face what do you mean because you'd be locked into the same routine is like to not get fucked up look i'm on board with your dude i like it i like the plan like the day drinking when you get fucking wasted and then are in bed by like 9 30 or 10 yeah it's the best feeling in the world all right here's but then again if you had shows again at fucking 10 a.m. the next day you'd be like well let's just go back to doing it a night right yeah where i can hide and it's dark and it's down to drink well this is why i did in l.a i was we we fell asleep at like 10 11 o'clock

Because we got fucking destroyed. That's a dude. And still doing pods and like filming look at dish and stuff. That's great. But you're taking, there's so many factors of consideration. Dude, when you're on a bender and still getting hotel breakfast. Yeah. You feel like you're.

You feel. Yeah. Maximus. Yeah. You are the guy. Yes. You are the fucking Roman God. Because when you come down at like 11 out of the hotel and you're fucking hungover and

you feel like shit like I don't know you feel other people's judgment you feel bad about yourself but if you're if you're like if you're at your like one p.m. level hangover but it's fucking 7 30 in the morning yeah you're like dude I'm up yeah I'm an achiever yeah yeah I do things I don't let the day slip away yeah well this is why I have to change time codes I have to go into another time zone that like makes me go like look at me it's like no it's actually the time where you're from you fucking grease ball retard yes true but but you just happen to be in a different time zone i go it's fucking 10 o'clock in the morning dude huh if i was like crazy who am i the head coach yeah if i was crazy rich and if one day my girl was just like you sleep in too late i would get on a

plan i would fly to the time zone that i was set to yeah and just hang out there all right spot on if I was super rich imagine just flying to Hawaii if I was super rich we're back on schedule I'd get on a plane fly to a different time zone

and while we're halfway there I tossed that fucking bitch out the fucking window and go I get up whenever I want because I'm super rich there's no work anymore I know but there's no work

there's calling this work is very funny. I get it. I know. We're doing podcasts. We're doing the cooking show. We do stand up. But at the end of the day, it's like a lot of fucking effort. Yeah. You know? Most of the effort comes from overcoming the drinking.

Yeah, that's the biggest effort. It's like, if you were dead sober, like you're right. That's hard. That's harder. That's harder. That's harder than opening for Shane in the riot. It's going, I'm only going to have four cider.

That is not drinking. dude a bottle of wine what are we talking about two bottles of wine appetizer yeah you get hard liquor now we're drinking yeah

seltzers oyster those were the days though man we'll get back to remember queens we just get two bottles of fucking

yeah different kinds of bourbon yeah the cheapest and with a big cube four roses and a cup yeah

and I love when you get a month's worth of a sopran I was in front of I was in front of it. Fuck. Dude.

Just controlling my bono right now, dude. Just. That was so nice. That's why these ladies get all upset. That was so nice. Why don't you smile more?

Just getting hammered. Throwing on the occasional VR headset. Well, what the fuck with that, dude? Where is it? Where's yours? Because I can sit around here. Somewhere.

What? It's around here somewhere. Burped in the middle. It's around here so. Yeah, come on. You got to give that back to me. Why, I'm using it. No, you're not.

We haven't played once. I'll play it. Tonight? I play golf. Yeah, I'll play tonight. Well, I got shows tonight. Do you have shows tonight? No, I shot the look at this on Monday.

I forgot to put my emails in. That's what happened to me last week. Just one phone call. Yeah. And you're like, I just blew it. I forgot all about it. Yeah. Well, you could probably do Josh's show if you wanted to.

What was the second part of that? You could probably do Josh's show if you wanted to. Second part. Just taking it ease. Just recovering from the L.A. Bender. Man, I'm having a good time. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice.

Just relax. When that rain came in today. Oh, I wanted to throw it. a few back. Yeah. I just want to go home and cook. Yeah, what are you going to make? I don't know.

I cooked up some steak today and I fucked it up, dude. Why? I just didn't let them come to room temperature. And then you try to, like, do a little sear and, like, let it cook through and it's just... Yeah. Takes too long. Yeah. It overcooked on the outside.

It was, like, tender and nice on the inside, but it was just a little overcooked on the outside and you're just, like, this ain't it. I feel like tasted the promised land I can't I've cooked for uh I think was when we did the look at this one uh with uh YG where cooking a ri by at a high seer and then taking it off the heat when it's rare yeah slicing it and you look at the slice and you go oh this is the way too undercooked yes re-enter it for serving and then you baste it with the butter and then it brings it back to temperature appropriate medium rare well i did i did both things wrong i did i did sear it and take it off but then i didn't wait long enough then i went to mothership then i did

then i didn't wait long enough and it just yeah it's basically putting it back on cold well this is all it takes dude i'm proud of it it's nice it's nice to see it happen yeah because i went i'd admit i'd had a couple rounds of making stakes where i was really nailing it yeah i was really in the zone and I got a little cocky and I was like I don't need to follow the rules yeah I'll throw it on there I'll make it happen it's like hitting a 60 foot putt going yeah this is easy yeah yeah he said this game was hard yeah yeah shanked into the woods deep into the woods yeah that's that's that's a bag of balls in the woods yeah yeah yeah I tried to meet up with Santino he said you're going to his father's uh or his families I was gonna go but

then I don't think it's going to happen no I think he's trying to get out of town earlier than I was going to hang out the whole weekend but then he's got to leave Saturday he's doing a million fucking things yeah he's he's doing one million things yeah it's crazy he like hung out he hung out this week with his family I think but then I was just like how

how yeah there's he's got his podcast he's got bad friends he's got no bad lies he's stand up it's like golf show it's like what the hell is going on where do you find the fucking time

well when you piss gold coins at your ass you'll find the time but still he's been pissing gold coins and still added another thing to the rack yeah more go go fuck you almost sneezed again true there is a bit of anger in there don't make me sneeze don't you make me fucking sneeze. Do you have anything to promote, Chris? I have nothing. I have nothing to promote.

I have nothing to promote. Shout out to Stuff Island podcast. Listen to Stuff Island. Yeah, you should listen to Stuff Island. Patreon.com slash Stuff Island. Yeah. Got tons of old episodes on there. We got tons of...

We're doing a new... Look at Dish episodes on there. We're doing a new look at dish tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to do... That's exciting. Yeah.

What were you going to do? I'm going to do a Venison. shoulder roast roast yeah so what is that you put it it's the one that there's the twine yeah it's a big shoulder roast i'm gonna braze it whoa yeah see it braze it so what we saw on the donahue ranch episode yeah i'm gonna try and recreate that because he sent me the venison another deer venison yeah another whoa obviously you got pound that thing no no no dude it's When I say that was one of the most exceptional things I've ever tasted. Really?

Because I thought this guy was, when I met Kyle, I was like, he's just fucking, he's a goofball. He's got a Legion of Skanks tattoo. Right, right. He's a fucking maniac in New Hampshire. I met his family. He's locked to him. Dude, he's such a wonderful dude. Knows what the fuck he's doing.

Cook this breakfast. They tend my brother up there with the kids. The kids are playing around with the pigs and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. He's the man. Yeah. He's the.

fucking man your brother bought a pig off yeah it says the best bacon he's ever fucking had yeah dude it's it's unmatched once you once you get that knowledge of like what the fuck you know these farmers do and what they go through and like how they get to

that level and I dude I ate that venison chop it's on camera and I literally was like blown away dude I swear to God it was like

there was no sauce there was no it was just the meat just the meat he salted and peppered it obviously but like it was it was like

man it fucked me up whoa and I told him that he's like I'll send you the next deer I kill on my property so he's got a fucking rifle he's got a rifle

he's got a rifle if you've never seen this episode it's on YouTube or look at this YouTube channel but he's got a rifle in his garage that's just standing and ready so during deer season oh yeah it just comes out yeah and he's got enough acreage

that they'll just fuck around eat some fucking grass and he just lines it up and just whole crush a fucking six pointer dude i got a buddy you did that with a buck yeah that's what i'm saying yeah yeah just yeah yeah if they're around you think he had bow and arrow i think he just walked out with bow and arrow and shot like a big fat ass buck that was just hanging out in his backyard Joe Rookant's your buddy? No, it wasn't Joe. I'm not, I don't want to say his name. I'm not sure how legal it is.

I think you need like tags and stuff. No, no. I don't think so. Maybe not in this, yeah, I don't like. I have no idea. Yeah, it's one of those things. I mean, look at me. It's not strictly legal, but yeah.

Look, if you're going to clean and process, who's going to know? Yeah. You know? Right. If your whole life is, is cutting up bodies and taking care of them, that one's going to know. Especially you've got all kinds of pigs and bears and shit in there. They're not going to know.

There'll be none the wiser. Yeah. A couple of venison shoulders slip out the. The mob has always gone to butchers going. Can we use your facilities? Yeah. We use all this because we're just going to grind all these fuckers up. Oh, did you see that?

No one's going to know. I saw, hey, that there was like some video that's been going around where I guess there's like people in Vietnam that like want to die. and, uh, they get, yeah, they're just like, they're like, I'm, I just want to die. So they're like on kink sites and they like found a guy who like wanted to kill somebody. And they like filmed like snuff. Yeah. Like actual crazy.

Like, so the FBI is like, like apparently this guy, I'm listening. There's a guy jerking off and he comes and then a guy just cuts his fucking head off. That's crazy. And there's like, Do you ever see that? All right, guys, if you're a fan of ours, just head over to Stuff Island. Dude.

Yes, fucking nuts. You seen the video? I have not seen the video. I have not seen the video. Where did you read this? Vice. So it was like a Vice article that I saw on Twitter. And I clicked on it and it was like, yeah, it's crazy.

There's another one where like, uh, yeah, a guy, there's just a guy like on his, knees I guess and they like they like they hug and then the guy just puts his head down and just fucking chops his fucking head off samurai I think he's got just like a cleaver and they they did a thing where like you know that that documentary like don't fuck with cats yeah where they like

looked they they looked at everything on the video and figured out like where he was they're like doing that with that guy they like know what we're like can they kind of is it got caught i don't think so no but they know like where the the guy was like it's laying on some tile they like know who sold him that tile they know like where he bought the cleaver from they're like yeah they're they're honing in so i've been doing well i they don't know they don't know where i'm they don't know where i'm out they don't know what things ain't that bad dude just looking at some dude before you chop it said off come you got a smile you're too handsome not to smile that's kind of like what yeah that's apparently what this the content this guy's put now

It is exactly that fucking rules. It's fucking crazy. All right, let's go to the Patreon. All right. Have it over the Patreon for more Vietnamese beheadings.