Stuff Island - Gunnin' - Chris O'Connor + Tommy Pope - Stuff Island #177

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got a vermin in the walls. Is it moving around or screaming? Dude, both, man. It's got to be a raccoon. That's what I said. I said raccoon or a possum. Something big because the rats and mice apparently aren't, they're not like, they're not a thing here. But our house, there's like an alley

where all the trash from both streets are funneling all their shit. So it makes sense that they could possibly, and it's not cold, but they, you know, whatever, they're fucking rats. Rooting around, wait, what did the guy say? So I don't, so when I get home from late night sets, I'll fall asleep on the couch and then come in later

Yeah, as to not wake my my girl and my dog. Yeah, and she's she was awoken like five days straight to like Like dude like screaming that is horrifying it like between four and five a.m. Like in the wall in the bedroom Like dude night of living dead type fucking horrors, dude. And then you can hear like... Perfectly mimicking a horrified girlfriend. Yes, yeah. Yes, it's exactly what I get. Yeah, it's every ex-girlfriend in your fucking skull, your memory of them going

and you can hear like claws and shit in that little space. So I call my landlord, they finally send somebody out, this dude comes in. And so my landlord's French. Sweet guy. I love him. He's great. The difference between the last landlord, which was a property management company that he had to go through bullshit, which is not real, they just charge you for nonsense.

I'm talking to this French dude, and he not real. They just charge you for nonsense. I'm talking to this French dude, and he's telling me, he calls me ahead of time going, it's between this company and the other company. One company deals with the rats and the mice and roaches and they're mostly exterminator. And this other company is specializing in animal.

And that does. Spin it out. Yeah, do the whole time. Yeah, I don't care. Pick a fucking company. Bring somebody. I think he's lying to me. This guy shows up.

Dude, he's got a fucking headlamp on. He's got a headlamp Isn't like this is like the cartoon mole Let me tell you something you want to lie to me that you're gonna get in the attic Wear a fucking headlamp and this guy was wearing a fucking headlamp Introduces himself immediately. I'm like, I like this dude. Yeah introduces himself, immediately I'm like, I like this dude. Fucking jerked out, jacked out, fucking country bread, reddish beard.

The miner's helmet on? Miner's helmet, and he introduces himself, and he's like, hey, first of all, he's a biologist. So he's studied. This guy is like, he's known for the area. This is a dream dude It's a male dream For a straight dude, like I'm like, this is like fucking it's a porn. Yeah, if I was gay I want this guy to show up sweaty from doing 15 other fucking jobs that day, which he did

which he fucking told me he did. And he breaks down the whole thing. We bring him in. My girl and I are just like, you know, I offer him a drink. He's like, if it was my company, dude, I would absolutely have one with you. And then we just had a fucking blast.

And he tells us the truth. He's like, I went up to the attic. There's rat droppings everywhere. It's definitely mice. We're gonna look into the walls. We're gonna set traps. The next couple weeks we'll come back out. We'll do this and that.

And I exchanged numbers. Immediately I was like, dude, you're coming on my podcast. I swear to God. I was like, you're coming on my podcast. Incredible. Incredible. I'm not gonna tell you his name because I'm gonna text my girl so you know it's real.

It's so much better than the guy that shows up his name because I'm gonna I'm gonna text my girl so you know it's real. It's so much better than the the guy that shows up and is like I don't know we'll put this stuff down see if they come out. The guys we had before. His name his name is Rowdy. Brilliant. And I said birth certificate before Before he got my fucking my house. I said rowdy I Get it, dude. Is your name really round like birth certificate rowdy. He's like, yeah my parents say me rowdy. I was like And I told him I was like, yeah the vermin biologist And I told him I was like, yeah, the vermin biologist Is dude rules man, he fucking rules I told him about us and I was like you got to get on here We've only had one person that's not a comic on our podcast and happen to be an exterminator Yeah from fucking also incredible from New York incredible

Yeah, and he's like I got stories and this guy you got you gotta fucking meet him, dude Just he's got a way essential Lights on dude, I'm gonna blinkers you have to throw your signal When you want to talk did you blink in? Oh My god, dude fucking crazy, but yeah, I sleep right through that. She's all yeah discombobulated. I know she gets right up anything Yeah, my dog sniffing through the drywall, you know trying to attack something she can't see yeah She's clawing at it Blacked out whiskey running down my side of my face, dude

Our cat comes in every morning too early Your cat yeah, he always comes over into the bedroom. Yeah. Yeah 6 a.m. Is he cold? No, he just stomps around. He's just like it's time to eat and we're like, no it isn't. Yeah, and he's like, alright But it happens every every morning Every morning he comes in and he's like Every morning every morning he comes in and he's like You know like he'll do I kind of what I do to my girl when I'm I wake up We're like telling me it's time to drink. She's like no, it's not

Started doing this thing where I like I always sleep with a pillow between my arms saying so when he comes in He's like it's time to eat and we're're like, no, it isn't. He just like sideways. He just lays on the pillow and puts his head like right over my shoulders. It's amazing. It's the best. Yeah. Same. And I'm like, so my girl was in New Orleans for the last four days. Then my dog is like, you know, she's spoiled and she's very emotional. She usually sleeps, she has to touch one of us at all times. Yeah, love it. In bed. So my girl's not there, and now I just go like this,

and then my dog will inch up, and then sleep like this. Like, I remove the pillow. So I take my pillow, put it to the side, and I hold my dog like a pillow. It's incredible. And I can hear and smell her breath. Amazing. She still has puppy breath.

It's disgusting, but it's so good. It's disgustingly how beautiful it is. I know. It is the most beautiful thing. And then she'll wake up and go. Oh, it's the best. She stretches like this and then licks every orifice of

It's her tongue up my nose my my eyelashes are filled with Tongues scum. It's the best feeling in the world I Love the time. I love especially if they're like if they're not in a position to be close to you, but they'll still just Tap you. Yeah, they'll reach out and just call on you. Oh my god. Yeah Jesus they don't wake up. Yeah Yeah, I do the same thing with her Just put my finger in her ass Yes. Alright, you're still here.

This squad's still a check. Checker tent. 98.6, 98.6. Oh man. No, I'll do that with my girl. I just put my hand through the back of her pant, whatever she's wearing, just before the ass crack, right in the waistband, just a security pole. Just a hook, just a latch.

Yeah, I mean this might get me arrested, but. No, it's just. It's just. It's just. It's going to jail. But it is, it's a pet paw. It's like a, hey, you know, make me feel comforted. That's very nice.

You're not going anywhere. That's what I think my puppy does. My puppy's like, if I touch you, and I'm for some reason So fucking passed out if you get up, it'll wake me up, dude. Yeah, it's a it's a data alarm, dude You know what I mean? I wish I had it. What I wish I had it I don't I don't like in the morning have to get hit with a water balloon Fucking paintball gun through the forehead.

Dude, when someone else touches me in the morning, I could just like their consciousness gets like mainlined into my head. And I'm like, yeah, it's a World War II dog. I just hit you like this. It's all my negative thoughts. It's the worst experience for my girlfriend because she'll wake up and just touch my shoulder something. I'm like Jesus Enough with the ice bath No granted there are times you you know, you need your fucking space I sleep hot as hell

That's what I know. My dog is like she's had enough So she'll shift from one area and then she I sleep sideways my is like she's had enough social shift from one area And then she I sleep sideways my legs like this and she'll come here And this little nook When i'm too hot here When i'm burning hot she goes I gotta go down south I'm gonna get pissed to fucking get some of that hamstring sweat. Yeah Let me give you the footsies.

That's the worst dude. The fucking the temperature. In England and Ireland, they do not. Let's talk about your weekend. They do not. Every time we're there. Yeah, I just I don't understand it. Yeah, everything, everything is built where it's like, if you go charge something in the hotel and then leave the hotel, the power to your room will just shut off. You'll come back and your thing isn't charged. In the middle of the night, everyone

goes into the hotel room and blasts the AC to sleep in an icebox. Yeah, immediately. Yeah. First thing you do. Every time you wake up in the middle of the night and the heat's off. Yeah. They just make that decision for you or the cooling is off. Yeah.

The AC is gone. Yeah. You wake up at 7,000 degrees in the room. Yeah. Why? Yeah. And then, okay, so now it's too fucking hot everywhere in the room and you go, okay, get an ice water. No ice.

Ice is like a problem. Yeah. But if they do give you an ice water, they'll give you a like a full pitcher of water with two cubes of ice in it. Yeah. It's just like, what don't you understand about ice? Dude, it's like the spice trade in the third century. It's like they got to bring in ice cubes on a fucking ship. You fucking mongoloids.

It's dude, it's every you go to the bar, you like, yeah, I used to go. Yeah. Like that was like speak to their manager. You're like, is ice? Well, I think the heat, the reason they fucked up teeth is they sleep hot and they slam their head back and forth and it fucking jars their teeth and then it exposes their nerves and that's why they can't eat ice because it's sharp. I genuinely, I was like, I genuinely was going to ask that.

Is it's like like is the teeth Is that I was doing a hat joke no, no, I was gonna ask this for real It's like is are your teeth so bad. You can't handle anything but room temperature water Yeah, so the idea of a cold liquid is like yeah Yeah, yeah Is that what it is? yeah feels like you're getting drilled in yeah yeah yeah am I focusing on the wrong problem you know American with a fucking ice all your teeth hurt are they like really sensitive is that

why you everything's warm instead of it it. Not hot, not cold. A cheese, cheese steak truck. It's just an ice truck. People are just like, oh my god. Oh my god. I'm getting that in there. I got better people. Yeah. Hey, how was it?

It was great. It was great. Manchester. I've never been to Manchester. Manchester was sick. Yeah. Manchester Manchester. I've never been to man Manchester was I haven't either sick Yeah, Manchester actually was very very cool. Just so yeah weird. It's also fun over there You can't really talk politics is any with anyone because you don't know what the fuck's going on. That's awesome. Yeah They're just like what's going on with Trump and you're like, we don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're just living. Yes What's going on with you guys and they got like a whole different weird situation going on

And you're just like yeah, all right. I guess we'll music yeah Bingo Talking fantasy retardly. I Want to talk about nothing with sports music and getting fucked up. Yeah, keep me out of the loop Stay in the happiness circle I don't need to know anything. But I do need ice and I do need cool.

You need it. It's water. There's certain hotels as we travel in each city, it's like, I know exactly where I want to go. It's not the better place, but I know that air conditioning is money. Oh, man. Growing up, going down the shore in South Jersey, the worst, the hotel, they were probably motels. They had a shitty pool filled with AIDS and chlorine.

Too many people, but the AC units in these little shitholes, these little rat dens, they'd run at like 45 degrees. Yes. They were cold like 45 degrees. Yes. They were cold pools, too. Yeah. To the point where you had to find extra blankets or put on a hoodie to fall asleep. Give me that.

The dream. The dream. I talk about it so much, I'm getting Instagram ads going. If you sleep in the cold, you lose weight. It helps your brain. Oh, probably. Your metabolism goes up. I bet. If you're shivering and cold is fuck. Yeah, it's a workout. Yeah, it's a workout. It's almost like my my vat of viscous fluid. Yes, it is. You get to lay down and shiver. Yeah, it's why I don't pay my electric bill So I stay fit

That's a brilliant idea I stand by it yeah, but dude on the way back It was fucking 11-hour flight They didn't they didn't do like we got on the flight It was like we're in good seats and like fucking we had they gave us water and we had good meal And then they didn't check in on us for like eight hours You know, you know how pissed you get about water, dude. Let me tell you something one hour, dude But I will not touch that button dude. I will pretend to piss and go. I'm so sorry to the two Dingbats. Yes talking about about nothing, or on their phone playing fucking Yahtzee.

I'll go, I'm so sorry, can I have anything to drink? I'm sorry to bother you for an instance. We crossed the threshold, we hit the button. I like this. Nobody came. Of course. The button's fake. Crossed the threshold we hit the button. I Like nobody came of course the button hit the button again Nobody comes. Yeah, go to the back now. You're hitting the old Chris O'Connor. Go to the back Okay, get some water. She said hit the button two cups One for me one for my girl. Wait, in a paper cup?

A cup this big. I would have went bop bop. I would have just kept filling them up. I almost did it. It's staggering. Staggering. What is it? You do want to sit them down and go, what is it?

Because this isn't like, what, you guys don't serve soda everywhere? This is like water. Where is this, Air Canada? What was it British Airways? Dude I'm flight start off great meal was great. I was like this is gonna be incredible and then Disappeared yeah, just gone What time of day or night we flew all day we flew for so daytime? They didn't come to you in the daytime for eight hours a full daytime flight like we left the UK at like one and

landed at Like 8 p.m. Yeah 7 8 p.m They don't come through with a trolley cart full of like gummy bears and cheez-its for the fat It is everyone was getting up and going like can we get water and wait? This isn't ringing like yeah, you're not going. Hey, we should do a round of waters for everyone yeah we should keep these kids alive yeah it's not an overnight flight where you expect everyone to be sleeping yeah it's like yeah you're doing two days yeah you're doing two days and the hose ain't on yeah it's like dude fucking I don't even DeRosa said they shut the bar off six hours before the flight landed.

Of course he was logged in. Well, we're all fucking. You guys are wondering when you're bored and he's like, the bar is fucking dying. Dude. Oh, man. How was he out there? What? How was he? He was great. He was great. Yeah, he was great. We're all I mean, it was just like, you know, you bet you bear. We actually wound up like doing a good amount of walking and seeing shit.

But like every day is just we're only there for like four days. So you like you're just getting fucked up, waking up late, traveling, getting fucked up, waking up late, traveling, getting fucked up, waking up late. Jesus Christ, when you read my diary Yeah Just working out the window and like Tower Bridge go yeah. Yeah, what's funny is you could be here It's no different Yeah, you just get worse service given like Oklahoma. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, it's just in a place given like Oklahoma. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's just in a place with no water, how was it nobody checked on me how to get water Got all played. I got fucked up woke up late got fucked up but Yeah, it was fucking did you do anything? I'm awesome of value like uh, you see any sights? Yeah, we walked we walked I walked like uh, we walked to like Parliament, got to see Big Ben Yeah, Westminster Abbey, which is fucking nuts I've seen that show, I saw the first episode and I was like Oh yeah, wait, what?

No, that's Downton Abbey Oh, the retarded version Yeah, they're out in the country I almost watched that movie on a- That was a funny joke I'm tired man I got fucked up, I'm tired, man. I got fucked up. I woke up.

It is nonstop. Yeah. Big Ben Parliament. That's from. Yeah. What is it? What's a big movie? I don't know.

A vacation. National Lampoon. Yeah. European. Big Ben Parliament. I don't know. Vacation. National Lampoon? Look kids, Big Ben. Parliament. He's fucking 13. He's looking at me like this. Look it up. Maybe you learned something. You're taking trap.

You don't deserve this. The first two hours were tough. It does take it out of you. I didn't mean that man. I'm sorry. Sorry. You don't deserve that. It's always taken out of you. Yeah All right. This episode is brought to you buddy brought to you buddy. It's brought to you buddy But I brought you buddy brought to you buddy by rocket money record money, buddy. Yeah Guys you if you're a listener of the podcast, you know You love rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions

Monitor your spending and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings As we all have subscriptions that we forgot about we got multiples Subscriptions for the same thing rocket money is gonna get in there and they're gonna figure that stuff out for you It has over 5 million users and to saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash stuff island today. That's rocketmoney.com slash stuff island rocketmoney.com slash stuff island rocketmoney.com slash stuff island You can even create a personalized budget with this thing what yeah, you can make

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Old customer service. Rocking up the bills. RocketMoney.com slash Stuff Island. Yeah. There you go. Get the savings. Get it. S-T-U-F-F-I-S-L-A-I-N-D. You put an extra I in there. I didn't finish the idea you did you put an extra is la and D whoa Do it again stuff is la nd dot Rock well, that's the end of it. This is rockin money comm slash That's it that's all you got.

A bad stewardess. In Parliament. I mean, it was sick. We were walking around Dublin was sick. Stacey Stevens Green in Dublin is un fucking believable. Yeah. You say a prayer. I did not.

I did go to St. Patrick's Cathedral, though. I checked it out. Did you pray there? Didn't say a prayer there What are you doing? I know. My god. I should have I should have said a prayer Yeah, you left Shane and I at the fucking Notre Dame game to go say a prayer I know. Well, that's kind of my one place is the grotto in South Bend. Yeah Is that where you want me to scatter your ashes? Yes scatter it all over the grotto. I know Scattered over Vitus field Drexel University. Yeah little little here little there. Yeah, west West West Philly I don't know where I want to put my ashes

Cuz I want to be absolutely cream in it. I want to like yeah double it completely. Yeah, I want half the ashes Yeah, I want to be absolutely cream in it. I want to like, yeah, double it completely. Yeah I want half the ashes. Yeah, I want to be burnt that hard, dude Reduce it. I want to keep the fire going reduce it like a good stock One eighth of how much it should be in an urn My urn is going to be like a little pendant you could put on a fucking necklace That I want you to snort. Yeah, I want you to snort one line of me. Would you do that for me? Yeah, yeah. Snort a line of me.

Can I cut it with some cocaine? Yeah, of course. Alright. Have fun, David. Dude, they love cocaine over there. Yeah, no shit. What is that? More than anyone else I've ever seen. Really? Yeah.

Like it's constantly flowing everywhere. You avoided it? What? Yeah, I avoided it. I can't. I did a very- I got enough problems. I got I got I got too drunk. You should have seen me this weekend, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Dugging and diving. Dodging coke. I was one of those samurai courses. They play on those shitty bars full-time You know, it's like dude. I think poles

I think I think I want you I didn't coke once and I got stuffed up and then I'd like for like two weeks and I was just like I'm never doing this again. Are you meaning life? Yeah last weekend. No, no. Oh Never like what you did one one line of code it multiple times But I one time I did it I got stuffed up for like two weeks and I was just like this is it's never worth the risk. Yeah Get this Stuffy suck that's just bad. That's bad coke. Sure. Yeah, that's laxative. But I don't know how to like grate it In the bathroom on a key. Uncle Tom will help you. What do you sample it? Yeah

Stare at it, smear it, put it on your gums. No, it's always so clandestine. So you're always going like this Yeah, and then going to the bathroom and you know, that's when you get experimental. That's when I bring out the headlamp And that's where you get experimental. That's when I bring out the headlamp Jewelers glass on the necklace. You're not bringing a Bunsen burner to the See what temperature Funny if that's what's in the fanny pack She's a big coke kit without any cocaine so they can't arrest you. Yeah.

Cause you can travel with like, you know, drug paraphernalia. That's clearly evident that you're doing the drug. You know what I mean? You can roll around with a fucking crack. Yeah, yeah. Just with that mustache. Crack vile, you know.

Ah, it's just like tobacco. Yeah, yeah. Just with that mustache. Crack vile. It's just like tobacco. Yeah, yeah. There's no residue in there. Yeah, it's clean. I'm clean, baby. Yeah. JIC, boop. The fuck was I going to say? Oh, yeah. Passed on a fucking... I was in a green room. There's a afferent bottle of Coke. Whoa. You know the... Yeah, it sprays. Yeah. You never seen this? Yeah. You ever seen this? No. You ever see this? No, that seems hard to pass.

You ever try this? You ever see this? I'm a sucker for a good delivery system. 100%. Yeah. So this is like, it's also a big ketamine thing, which I've done with friends of ours in the bottle. So you just put like pure good stuff, you know, in saline.

Is it liquid? Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. You just throw some Coke in there. Do you liquid, is the Coke liquified? Is it in some type of liquid? Yeah.

Then you just spray it up there? Yeah, you put literal powdered Coke in there and let it, you know. No, no, what do you add water? What do you do? No, it's already in there. You can either use the regular Afrin or you add? Water? What do you do? What do you know? It's already in there.

You can either use the regular apron or you can put saline or you can put water, whatever you want. Oh, the Coke is the Coke. Whatever the fucking you know? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever that sounds like, whatever the vehicle to get you there. Yeah.

Whether it's self-driving or not, dude, you're going to high town. And I know I passed on it. It's such an easy thing to do. It's by myself. It's like I got to go get my dog. I'm just staring at it, you know? I just wanted two fucking, two puffs. What it got me going?

How long would that keep you going, you think? Depends on the quality. I didn't check it. That was my problem. Not my problem.ends on the quality. I didn't check it. Yeah. That was my problem. Not my problem. That was the reasoning. Can you do a toot and just walk away? Or can you, once you start, once you pop, you can't stop.

What's that commercial? I think it's Pop Tarts. Is it Pop Tarts? No, no, no, no. Pringles. Yeah, Pringles. I'm a jingle king. I'm surprised I didn't get that. I'm a little loosey goosey.

No, I can't yeah, if it's really good, I'll stick around for a couple more toots. But yeah, I can I mean the Super Bowl. I took a freaking yeah. Yeah purple banger off But that seems like it's easier to walk away from. Just cut the d*** off. Twice. Yeah. I feel like that's easier to walk away from than an actual bag. Yeah.

Yeah. One time I was doing Coke with my brother years ago. It was probably like 12, 15 years ago. And he woke up. And I was sleeping on his couch and he's like, how was the night? What do you you know, what do you got left? And I was like, what? He said, what do you got left? And I was like, nothing.

He's like, you did the whole thing. I was more confused. I was like, you saved some. Yeah, you saved cocaine. Yeah. You saved cocaine in a bag? Yeah. No, I sat down here like a mongrel. Of course. Stare at my phone.

Flip it through thumbnails of porn. Yeah, yeah. Slowly jerk it on. So I didn't wake you up. It's like turning the hourglass over. That's just how much time we have. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes, yes. There are rules to this, Juicy. That's not... Yeah, I'm not gonna fucking... You're gonna step away. Glad bag zip-lock this thing up. You're like going out in college buying like a 30-rac and just going like, eh, I think

I'm done. Probably put it in the top drawer for next weekend. Like, no! I'm just staring at it going, yeah, next time I party. We'll play drinking games until it's over. Yeah. Or fucking jerking games, dude. I'm gonna beat the hell out of my penis. Yeah.

I'll let you know when it's over. That's, yeah. Ding ding ding ding. That's the specific you. Round 17. That's the specific you. The referee. Fuck off.

His fucking job I'll do we went to UFC. I met Louie Thoreau. I love this dude. Wait, Josh. Can you help me? Yeah, how insane this dude is I asked for one fucking story. He goes. Yeah. Well their teeth are fucked up We got drunk, you know, it's fun it. Ten minutes later. Oh, we went to UFC. We went to UFC. That was nuts. Yes, Philly guy one said, go birds after he won. Let's go. Of course he did. The whole time he was fighting. We were I mean, I was wrecked. I'm just going go birds.

Yeah, it was bad. And then you met through Louie Thurow. Yeah, the best. I love that guy so much. Talk to him. Why don't you tell the people who he is? He's a documentary guy. You know, if you haven't seen if you haven't watched Miami Mega Jail.

You're missing out. Yeah, he's probably the greatest comedic line ever where he's like in the tank Yeah, where they like they just hold people for like weeks and shit because the jails overcrowded, right? And they all have to live together and as soon as you get into the tank You got a fight to figure out what bunk you're gonna be on Yeah, and Louie goes in there and he's just talking to these dudes being like Like why do you don't make everyone do that right and they're like, yeah, he's like well if I came in you'd know I

Couldn't do that. Yeah, right and he's like, I don't know. He's like you get me out of it, right? He's like, well, I don't know. You probably have to do a couple rounds. You got to find out who you are You might be a real ass He's like are you real ass? Yeah, and he just goes What do you think? And there's a dude sitting on a top bunk and he's like, how come you're on the top bunk and he's like I like it up here He's like but the I've been told on the top bunk? And he's like, I like it up here. He's like, but I've been told that the bottom bunks are the preferable bunks.

He's like, I like it up here. It's incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, top bunk is the preferred perch, you know? Oh dude. Just sit down, dude. There's so many good moments in that there's there's a guy who gets in trouble because they do this thing called gunning where they they jerk off into their hand and then

throw the come at female security guards oh my god and. Like that fucking dude. It's like that sticky hand that you got in like a box of like Cocoa Puffs. That would stick. Dr. Fad. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is that a honeycomb? Yeah yeah yeah. Dr. Fad dude. Niccolo dude. And uh... There's a fucking wad of gum on the forehead of a fucking security guard.

He just breaks the guy down. It's so funny by just asking him like totally normal questions. It's just like, what? Why would you do something like that? Yeah, he's like, I don't know. Like he's like all just like, yeah, like card it. Yeah, yeah. But he's like, but I mean, that's gross. Yeah. He's like, but I mean, that's gross. He's like, I guess, I guess. He's like, no, I mean, like, you wouldn't do that. Just in the outside world, you wouldn't come

in your hand and throw it at somebody. I guess like, yeah. This is right. Yeah. He just breaks me. Yeah. Yeah, but it's just different words, man. He's just like, after just talking to this guy normal for five minutes, he's just like, yeah, I guess I'm like pretty fucked up. He's just like, all the posturing just falls away. He's just like, yeah. I don't know, I've just been in this fucking prison. Yeah, she'd probably call me mom.

I've just been in this prison for so long. I started to think for a couple of people. Oh my God, dude. Yeah. It's great. I wish you'd garner enough cum to make a fucking splash. I bet in there you would. Yeah, because I'd have to hold in there you would. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I have to hold out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Unless I was getting pounded in the ass and I had to come because my prostate was getting pushed and forced. That would be a devastating thing to find out. Yeah.

That you love it. Jesus. That you absolutely love. That would. Cause my date is around the corner to my freedom date But I still want to get pounded in the ass by yeah fucking hardcore prisoners and then I have to read You know, I got a shank somebody. Yeah walking out of there would be bittersweet. I got a reassault someone be a good story

Yeah, yeah, I get out the doors. They give me my little box of a pinky ring, a greased up fucking t-shirt that smells like dog hair because I've been hugging my dog because I killed my girlfriend. Yeah. Her body's not there anymore on my clothes. I like this story. It takes place in like the 40s or 50s, right?

A time when it's like not cool to be gay outside They don't even know what's going on right? Even the guards don't know we're fucking yet. So it's like romantic Yeah, it's kind of like it'd be like the opposite of Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I'm trying to think of a time man I'm trying to think of a pun on Shawshank. I can't get it. Shawshank Redemption would be okay. Yeah, yeah. Redemption. Shouldn't brought it up.

But yeah. I see it. And in the end you stay. Because it's the only place you can really be yourself. And it kind of says something about the outside world and the system that that is yes and the shackles that we place on ourselves Wow in the outside world. Holy shit. You know, yeah, I find peace and happiness Someone could actually be free. Yeah in their living. Yeah the way they want to A violently gay lifestyle

They want to the way they always wanted to. It's easier to be gay and imprisoned during those times than to be gay and on the outside. Wow. Damn. Thoreau, do you have his number? We can write a nice note right now.

You'd have to live it out and then he'd do the documentary. Damn. Why do I get my You'd have to live it out and then he'd do the documentary. Yeah Damn What I get my ass opened up For 50 years of imprisonment To not be shamed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just be yourself in there. Yeah, you know, you get a nice little racket going You're like you're like red and Shawshank like you actually like you get every bone there good Yeah, yeah instead of dropping rocks out your pants. It's just shit Yeah, cuz you're just getting emptied every night and then yeah

Just old Turds kicking out your fucking flakes coming off your underwear. Yeah, but you love chest though. Yeah, I'm a fucking Somewhere along the line, the second act, late in the second act, like a young gun shows up. And he's like, why do you let them do that to you? You can't really understand it because you do kind of like run everything. You know what I mean? Like you're showing off the money.

So he's like, how do these guys, what do they have over you? And then you kind of reveal to him. Yeah, there's a better way of living. Yeah. Let me show you the ropes you're gonna reveal to him. Yeah, there's a better way of living Yeah, let me show you the way actually like it. Yeah, and you can helps a certain amount of respect for you. Yeah Because they come after him but you defend them you stop them. Yeah This is actually the documentary that first gay bar in New York City. The Stonewall Inn. The Stonewall Inn, dude. This is the Stonewall Inn.

But there's a piece of you that wonders in stopping them from having sex with him, whether he would have enjoyed it and been changed the same way you were changed. Right, right, yeah. You know, you're kind of letting him go back into his life, which may be closeted. Yeah, right, but if not

Get back out there. Yeah, be yourself. I just want you let you know. There's a better life kind of fucks you up Yeah, yeah, damn gay Shawshank It's big it could be a huge hit. That is big. What's the old man's name that says was here? God damn it. Somebody was here and he hangs himself. Sam. Yeah, something like that. And instead of just him hanging, he's just with a belt slowly just jerking off right. It says was here and they keep something was here again

Just where he goes He was there he's just where he goes, yeah Man anyway, beautiful story. Yeah, I thought it was a beautiful story. Beautiful story about gay love. I like how we got there, man. In prison. Any other stories, Chris? Let me think. How were your sets?

I think I did good. I heard you did well. I got private messages saying no nice They said O'Connor's never gonna respond to this. I'm like agreed Because he doesn't text me Text me back for three days. There's no shot. I've been finding this and he said he killed Fuck yeah killed and dubby. That's awesome. Yeah Yeah, it was good. The shows were good That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. The shows were good. The shows were good, but it's scary over there.

You'd say it's always scary in front of people that are like you feel like are different enough that like, you know, you start thinking about all of your jokes that have like American culture references in them. Yeah. I mean, if you're like talking about football, you don't really do that though. You don't have specific references. Yeah. I mean mean I got that whole thing about Native Americans that I'm like well they're everywhere let me tell you think about it's code I just put the headlamp back I think about cockroaches they're fucking everywhere they'll'll find a way. They're in the walls. Tearlands, yeah. Oh my God.

Did you do the Native American bit? Yeah. How'd it go? It went pretty good. Yeah. But I was very nervous. The first show I was trying to like, you know in in real time, where you're trying to like modify everything. Yeah. And being like, do you guys know?

Yeah. But it's in front of 10,000 people. Yeah. So yeah, it's just quiet. And it's an it's a full room. Yeah, it is a wild experience opening for Shane. It's crazy. Yeah. Just doing the round for and then opening and there's five thousand people still seating. Five thousand people. I know out of twenty eight thousand people.

It's fucking bananas. And they finally sit down and you're like, wow. And they're probably like, who's this fucking idiot? Where's Shane? Yeah. You know, I mean, just eat dick for fucking eight minutes. Well, that is the nice part is that Shane will intro you. Yeah, you do the God Mike? Yeah, I feel like if you didn't have that, people would think that the venue literally booked these fucking people to go out.

Yeah, three fucking Irish DJs. Yeah, yeah. Like Shane's late and they just got to get... Just pick something from the ground. Yeah, yeah, someone just put down a mop. What do you feel about Native Americans? Get out here. Do you hate them? Just putting down a mop and walking out there. She's doing it for fucking bits. What, right now?

Yeah. My wife doesn't know I'm here. I can't. I watched that show, Adolescents. Yeah. It's fucking Unbelievable really yeah It's really good. Tell me about it Chris Well every episode is just one long shot

Yeah, yeah, which is nuts It's like an hour a second. I'm Unstopped. Yes, 60 minute one shot. Yeah, this is why. Dude, I agree. You don't find that. When I heard that, I was like, why would you do that? So insane. That's the dumbest fucking thing ever.

It's going to suck. It does not. You don't think that's overindulgent? I would if it wasn't so good. How many times do you think it took? Uh, I don't know. How much money and man hours were wasted? Oh yeah.

For some director to stop jerking himself off in his face. Yeah. Flinging a pile of cum into his own mouth. I'm telling you man, I'm telling you man, I thought the idea. I know. I'm sure I'll watch it and go wow. I started as a resent watch because someone was like it's one shot 60 minutes, it's incredible. And I was like alright, I cannot wait to hate this and explain why. Outside of like people in the industry or like film critics and how many, this is a question that you can possibly answer accurately. Percentage wise, give me a guess

of how many people who watch that show understand the complexity of that one shot process or even know it's happening Yeah, probably very you probably very few just guess I'm interested. I know there's no Objective answer people I would say I I would it's got to be in the like at least a million No, no percentage wise out of a hundred percent of people who watch that show how many percent it's percentages I would say

20% no way No way. I think so, dude. It's it Doesn't say it on the fucking home screen. No. No, this is all one. Nobody fucking cares It's my point. No one fucking cares. I think I think they do someone told you was a one-shot because who is it? like none or Dude, nobody cares. I don't why put that pressure on yourself for a fucking grant an Emmy Grammy Whatever the fuck it is Oscar does it does avil add a level of like like you know what the truth the truth is that if you

Was that 1917 I'm sorry to cut you off yeah, yeah 1917 shot that was all through the bunker. Yeah, yeah beautiful Yeah, cinematic beauty right you're gonna do that every episode for a show shut the fuck up well nobody cares I know but it is cool. It is cool I'm not saying it's not cool. The truth is the truth is that you would go like Which is what I thought the first time I watched was like they stitched this together Like they did in 1917 like 1917 wasn't one shot the whole time They just had had stitch points that made it feel like it was one. Yeah the whole time. They just had stitch points that made it feel like it was one shot the whole time.

And there's also like the Irishman or fucking Goodfellas was like the first one where there was like that entry long, it was like whatever, seven, eight minutes and like broke a record. And it's like at that point, it's like, dude, who gives a shit? You got background people going, now, now, and there's somebody walking by with like a fucking plate of nachos, you know what I mean? And everybody has to be in sync. I was thinking about that. Shut the fuck up.

This grandiose, grand, my girl yells at me all the time, it's grand. This grand fucking opera of this, I don't know, self-fulfilling dog shit. It is grandiose. Of your ego is so insane to me where it's like, dude, just fucking, just set the scene, give me the scene, clip it, move on.

I gotta say, I do think it adds something. Cisco and fuckface, that's what we are. Cisco and fuckface. I do think it. Who's theisco and fuckface, that's what we are. Cisco and fuckface. I do think it is. Who's the one that's got fucking throat cancer? And who's the one that's dead? One of them's dead, yeah. I'll be the other one.

I'm sorry. I thought it was boring. Yeah, it was boring, yeah. Seven apples. No, I agree 100% that when you hear that, you go fuck that show, but it is really good and Yeah, they pull it off and for some reason I do think the adding the fact that it's all one-shot add something I can't put my finger on what but yeah it there's like a weird tension that gets added. I'm sure but

I'm sure It's so yeah, I'm caught up in what a white lotus oh I gotta watch my girl went away I heard it's there's two brothers that are sucking each other off or something it's great I'm gonna give away too much there's two super yeah yeah they're gunning each other, dude. Yeah. I didn't see season two. I saw season one. I loved it. And then I got anytime like, I think it's a relationship thing with series where you

start one, you're excited about it. And then you're out of town or you're doing a show or something. And they get one or two ahead and you go, fuck this. Yeah, I'm not. I don't care enough but you do yeah I just deny it and go I don't give a shit yes I'll put on pawn stars or fucking intervention or first 48 I'll let that shit run in the back and I just watch Twitter yeah and then when I finally lock in I go wow this show's great I felt that way about fucking severance I was watching severance as it came out this time around and it's like dude, I

Can't I can't man. Do you know severance is all one shot? They tried to they did some stuff That's a very sad thing to do Like the opening of the season was like this one long thing and I was just like don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Do not get. Yeah. So I'm with you. I don't normally like it. I do hate it when they inserted places where it just doesn't make it drives me nuts. But no, the severance thing was just like, if you're crushing episodes, like if you're, you know, like they're all ready to go and you're

engine cruising through. Yeah. If they have like an artsy, like fartsy episode in there, that's like not really advancing the story. Thank you. But well, if you have it all together, you'll go. All right. That was that. You'll let go into the next one. But when it's like I got you did that to me and now I got to wait a week Altogether you'll go, all right, that was that. That was that. 100%. And you'll go into the next one.

But when it's like, you did that to me and now I gotta wait a week. Dude. To get back to the show that I'm supposed to be watching. We used to watch Sopranos in high school with my parents. So we'd all be on the couch. And when there was like a fucking therapy session

heavy story, the entire living room would be devastated. Like my mother, my father, me and my brothers, like just fucking upset. Like how? I waited all week long. Everybody waits all week long for that HBO sound. Bzum, whatever the fuck. And you go, here it comes, wake up this mom. And then it's just him mentally trying to fuck this pig

while he's upset with her. You know, it's like 80% him in the fucking chair. And you're like, fuck, I got school tomorrow. Watching the Sopranos, watching the Sopranos in real time when he's in the hospital and he's like talking to fish and like doing all kinds of like. Oh, that was another one.

I would have been like, what the fuck is going on? Then instead I was like, wow, this is like really, would you do some interesting stuff you know I get it I get it I get a week yeah to find out he's gonna be talking to it dude if I I'm down here if I had chains money and there's a big series coming out, I'm going to the hospital and putting me out for seven days to check on me. I want this, or seven weeks.

I want this whole fucking series to be ready, locked and loaded to binge. I'm not doing a fucking thing. Give me some rest. And when I wake up, baby baby I'm crushing every episode. I will destroy this whole season in one sitting. Oh my god. But that's how Severance is the same thing. I watched the first episode, she got two ahead. I haven't seen any of that yet. You seen the Celtics documentary? No. It's good. My god, it's wonderful. And I fucking hate Boston. I mean, I'd love those two, those two twins from Uzbekistan

that put a fucking pressure cooker in a trash can. What? I'm sorry, what I'm saying is, of course, I hate Boston, but sports documentaries went done. This is so, this is so like full bore Philly. You know what I mean? Just hating marathons so much.

Yeah. Well, also- And someone bombs one, you're like, God. Yeah. Fucking pricks. Yeah. Holding up traffic, shutting down the main lanes. Meanwhile, you're not even driving. You gotta deal with this broad street every year. Yeah.

No, the point is... Hopefully a few of these fucks will be scared. They should be. Yeah. They'll slow you down, huh? Yeah, yeah. That'll take a minute off your fucking mile. Hope they got someone at the front. I hate those. The boy. I like the back. You gotta blow the fat knees out of the back. No, it's a really well done documentary. And it shows you the historical significance of Boston sports. Of the Celtics to Boston? Yeah. History and then modern. It's really well done. Yeah. That's what got my girl into to watch and sports was like sports documentaries like the HBO

Hard knocks and She watched some of the hockey ones was oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Cuz just classic ones. Yeah. Yeah gives you a look into you know, it is humanizes these people. Yeah, it's like a it's beautiful Anyways, yeah, that's people. It's like it's beautiful. Anyway, yeah, that's another great one. Has one more. I watched the Amy Winehouse back to black. Oh, it's incredible. It's great. It's great. Yeah, she's insufferable.

It's so she is. Yeah, she's insufferable. They also did that nice thing where they like made it. I don't know. I always like because they in the documentary, they kind of blame the whole thing on the boyfriend being like a just a dickhead Scumbag. Yeah, if I were kind of like I would do whatever it took not to release that fucking thing Just a legend if you saw a documentary with Elvis You like this fat retard is annoying as hell You know what I mean? Like, you'd be so pissed.

You don't want to see your legends. Like, even Johnny Cash. You saw Johnny Cash 24-7, you know, backhanding his girls, picking up the same outfit every day. It's like, dude. Just on a farm in Arkansas. Yeah. It's like, and he can't do anything.

He's just paying labor. What's her face? Fucking, what's a blonde? I hate her so much. She was in that movie with Bradley Cooper. Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga. Watch her doc. Oh my God.

Terrible. The most insufferable human being I've ever seen in my life. I can believe that. Just lays in bed crying the whole time. Everyone's against her. She's in pain Just oh my god Yeah, it's bad dude, it makes Amy Winehouse look like a fucking yeah Winehouse look like a fucking yeah

Man she just cries the whole thing. Yeah, she cries fake pain and Everybody just pays attention or coddles her Beyonce did a little bit of that and of course she did Yeah, of course you this what billionaire child stars do you got to cry? Otherwise, it's not a good doc Yeah, when I cried nobody pays attention to me. No, no, no, it's no one's coming your hand Yeah, when I cried nobody pays attention to me. No, no, no one's coming your hand This gets me out of my fucking skull, it'd be so funny Louie sitting across from you. Why'd you do that? I was crying Dripping off my eyebrow. What the fuck Chris was that for you started crying. I Think we did it. Yeah, we did it guys Thank you so much. Love you

Look at dish. I will say I apologize for the move and the travels We're gonna give it back real hard. Yeah, we're gonna bring it right back. You're gonna get too much too much too soon Right back right back at you. I love you. Smash that subscribe button, Josh. Yeah. Smash it. Do you subscribe to our podcast?