Stuff Island - Italy - Stuff Island #185

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconn... Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/... Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Unlock a healthier and easier way to eat by using Promo code "Stuff Island" at checkout for 15% off your first order at huel.com Upgrade your wallet - head over to ridge.com/stuffisland to save up to 40% off right now during the biggest sale of the year - make sure to tell them Stuff Island sent you after your purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Italy. Ciao bella. Ciao bella. Grazie mille. If you have nothing to say to go on Italy, I'll be busy. I got nothing, dude. I got nothing. Not five minutes to take up the whole thing.

I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing.

I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. If you have nothing to say It's like watching the Godfather dude seen it it's gorgeous, right it is gorgeous it was it was very cool Goddamn the food is so good. Yeah. Yeah.

It's got it all. It really kinda does. It like, for, I don't know, you know, this time around I was really like, this place is pretty fuckin' sick, man. You got older. Yeah. You also experience a lot more. You saw, you've seen other places in the world. Yeah, and it had like a nice, it just had a nice little rhythm to it. Yeah. You know? I found, I found like a coffee shop that was like right by a bus stop in a subway.

Yeah. And I was just like, I would just sit in there every morning and just watch people cruise in. And they don't, no one sits down. No. No one sits down. There's no fucking laptops or they just They don't have computers no they come in they pound a shot of espresso Smoke it and then I smoke a cigarette. I don't yeah, there's no it's weird a baby bird a fucking croissant

You know what? They're just like spit it into each other's mouth real quick. It is They they act like like they're stock brokers Like the speed with which they come into a coffee shop and then fucking bolt Yeah, like I gotta get back to the floor, dude But then they go outside and they sit there and stare at the tree and smoke They got nothing to do take a leisurely walk Yes, yeah, there's a lot of heavy lunch breaks. There's just 65 year old men in full three piece suits.

Yeah. Just on the corner. It does. It does rule. It's fucking incredible. That was where did you stay? I stayed at like a little bed and breakfast in Rome that was like near the Vatican. Yeah Which was which was awesome. Although the guy the guy in there would just he would give you like This is a thing that I've noticed about Italian people is they smell different

You know, I can't smell for shit Come from the bogs But they they will give you like, they will give you advice no matter what. Yeah. And it doesn't even like, even if it's completely irrelevant. Yeah. Dude, we get, we get in a cab because it's just this thing like they have to give you. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know whether they like they want you to you go like, oh wow, that guy really helped me out. But it would never be useful information. Yeah, this guy in the cab we got from the airport. He drops us off the Airbnb and I like I'm trying to figure out how to pay the guy and he goes scab it out scab it out pickpockets yeah and I'm like what yeah watch out for pickpockets yeah but it's like what why are you talking about there's no one on the street yeah there was nobody around us yeah and you just the first thing you say to me is something about pickpockets I was yeah what are you gonna pick pocket me yeah well I mean if I was dropping somebody off in North Philly like watch out for the blacks

No, okay, but Do you know I really if I was a dude if I was a serviceman You know if I was I drove a taxi cab until like a dangerous part of the city Yeah, also the tourism is that's that's how they make their money is like fucking That guy is I don't needs you to be safe for him to fill his pockets. Let me tell you something. I don't buy this pick pocket thing for a second.

Or you got the best pick pockets in the world. They're pretty fucking good, dude. Give me a fucking break. Half my Twitter, foreign European pick pocketers. And they're like pretty girls. They come in packs of like three and they look like students. And these little cunts will ravage your bag before you feel a hair move. You don't think a pretty girl walks up to me in the alarm bells

Walks up to me. Yeah, you're just circling the whole time. Yeah Yeah, I would immediately be like something is up. Yeah. Yeah, and also like my dad calls it the Italian wallet Which is like there's no wallet It's just if he just has a wad of cash with a clip and yeah fucking credit cards and ID is everything in the middle of his cash and every time he would say that to me all the time He'd like put you put your wallet in your front pocket and I'm like what? He goes put everything in the back pocket the front pocket. We're getting on this pocket and I'm like what he goes put everything in the back pocket the front pocket we're getting on this train and I was like I was like 13 yeah do you have any idea how tight these jeans yeah it's a fucking Chinese

store maze to get into my fucking You know into the restaurant maze and fucking shitty neighborhoods dude, and then We walk into uh We walk into the hotel haven't slept in 30 out, you know, you sleep a little bit on the plane, but you're just fucking we right we land at 6 a.m It's like dude. I'm zonked. Yeah, we get in there and the fucking guy like he's like, you have been to Rome. I just got him out. Yeah, he's got ideas already. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah.

He was like nice. But I was like, yeah, yeah. I was just her first time. And she was like, and he pulls out a map and he starts circling stuff and place. And it was just like, dude, give it a rest, man. That's how they're trying to circling the Coliseum. They're trying to get... Circling the Coliseum? They're trying to get... I mean, it's like, we'll find it.

Yeah. Good Christ. Yeah. Then, then, then, dude, we leave. We leave to go to the Vatican Museum. Circling the Coliseum. Yeah, dude. He wasn't like...

You're not on a CD. He wasn't circling. Why do you think I'm here, fuckface? Yeah, yeah, he was on a CD. It wasn't circling. You think I'm here? Fuck. Yeah, yeah. It was not off the beaten path. Yeah. And then and then then then we go to that.

We're going to the Vatican Museum and he's he's like we're out the door. Like we're like standing in the door, like leaving, being like, all right, see you. And he's telling us how to sneak from the Vatican Museum into St. Peter's Basilica and skip the line. It's like, dude, I don't know the inside of the Vatican. But that's I mean, if you're going to give me something, that's fucking nice. It's kind of nice, but it's like I do know how long it takes to get in.

Do you know how long it takes to tell someone how to speak? I'm like, it's a foreign language. It's a 45 minute conversation about a building I've never been in. It's like there's a staircase. I got to go. There's eight staircases. It's Jason Bourne and then he's like, if they say something, just act like you don't know what's it's like

Yeah, dude, I can't man. Yeah, we're not going in there Well, do you did you go into any churches? We went to the We went into we went into the Vatican we went to the museum we went into like some of the like there was a tiny church on a little island we went into, we went on a, we went on a, we went on a food tour, my parents booked like a food tour,

we would just like hop around and like try stuff at different locations. That rules. And there was a dude, our tour guide. That's adventurous for your mom. Oh, it was great. I can't see her doing that. It was great, there was a thunderstorm, it was great. I can't see her doing that. It was great.

There was a thunderstorm. It was like the most romantic, fun little like we were like running around with umbrellas and shit. You think your parents had sex? I, probably not. You don't think so? I don't think so. Just with all the romance in the air, you don't think they tried to have sex?

I just don't, it's not how our brains work. What? Irish people? Yeah. Shit the fuck is she there animals You have a whole good day with your wife get to bed Day with a shitty sexual experience your mom goes wait till tomorrow It goes back in time Like and she's like ah he used to love when I would like blow him here You know like she gets on her knees and he's dad's like hey, we've been walking cobblestones fucking eight hours today

I'm gonna just let's call it quits. Let's get the bag Yes, yeah, I never thought about that go to sleep I'm sorry. Yeah, I was thinking about your parents It is an important thing to think about I do think about that when I see like older people like traveling into like Yeah, they just romantic places like that. You know, you think they rekindle, they haven't had sex in probably 20 years. Do you think they try?

Or do they get enough satisfaction and love out of just like smiling and hanging out? Well, this is also the thing that I did kinda like. I think I'm just talking about fear. Like I fear that that's all it's gonna go away Forever. Yeah, cuz it does it that it's already going away from me Italy man Little things that I was appreciating about Italian culture is that like

They your like your respect in society is based on how fat you can get and still fuck Yeah, yeah, you know, it's about having being able to eat a lot and have sex if you can only do one. Yeah No good. Yeah, they had statues of fat guys. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, yeah Dude we went There's usually politicians. They're not like. Sure, but still. Those are the guys,

because those are the most revered men in society. Yeah, 100%. Dude, they're just a big belly, a suit doesn't fit. Yeah. I tried to convince my dad to buy like a wacky suit in fucking, in a cleaning lady.

That's like the four different noises. Are you using a soundboard? No, that's a cleaning lady Cleaning lady, just cleaning up That's her, she's out there right now? Yeah, yeah. Let's interview her Get her on the fucking couch! I just speak English. That's great!

No, I'll pick a pocket there No, no, I just had a Get her in here, I'll pick her fucking pockets I just had a week of that Oh,? I just had a week of that. Oh, that's hilarious, dude. So how'd the food tour go? Give me a drag of that. Food tour was sick. I threw mine out today.

But the guy... The guy... The food tour guide was an actor. The gayest thing in the world, dude. Just a white claw on a vape. White claw on a geek bar. I got to get to Italy. I got to fucking take this man.

Yeah, I got to get it. I got to I got to roll my own cigarette. Smoke a couple. Yeah. Old ladies smoking long, thin cigarettes. It's incredible. They're healthy, even though they look like they shouldn't be. Dude, I my girl was her mind was blown because, you know, every American girl is like, I can't

eat a croissant. I can't have a thing. I can't have a muffin for breakfast. I'll fucking die. And it's just like hot chicks walking in hitting the muffin and it's just like, Cheesy pasta for lunch. But they walk. True.

They do things. And also their pasta is not, there's no like, there's no additive preservatives. Most of their shit is all homemade so they don't. That's true. The guys who, there are food critics that go, there was some, I don't know, some fucking study done where they tried to eat identical dishes for over the course of so many days in both America and Italy. Yeah. so many days in both America and Italy.

And they did the same thing in like France. And they tracked their weight and their blood pressure and all their like, they did blood work and all that stuff. And there's just like, the difference was night and day. How much weight you gain here, eating pasta twice a day for fucking two weeks. And over there, you're active, but you're also, how it's how it's being processed prior to you consuming. That's what they told me. They told me El Dente. Yeah. They go heavy El Dente. Everything's El Dente. Yeah. And so they like,

they pride themselves on how El Dente it gets. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like basically just eating a little hard pasta. But, but, but they... They just breathe on it like, it's cooked. We did have a dude from Liverpool, an old man from Liverpool with his ugly wife who got drunk on the door. I bet he was no beach dude. He did got... You ever seen a handsome dude from Liverpool? Dude, there were a couple, there were a couple great ones at the door. The tour guy goes, do you know why we cook at El Tente?

The Liverpool guy goes, because you can't cook. Amazing, amazing. My dad had a nice one. We were going around the group and everyone was introducing themselves. You gave your name and like like an Italian pasta dish She like to my dad. Everyone's going like cacciui pep. Yeah, you want spaghetti and meatballs when he goes chicken Dude I don't snap the dudes head off. It was awesome We can get any chicken parm on the door

The whole time is like don't embarrass yourself don't embarrass Peanut butter jelly's fine. Normally do Jesus Christ Did you get fucked up or is it just like all like yeah you guys have like a wine tour as well Yeah, yeah everything we were drinking the whole time. It was great. My mom my mom got after a little bit That's never happened. Yeah Took a break from the Bailey's Yeah, no, she never she never touches the stuff. Yeah, but she was she got after it on the food tour Yeah, also this guy he did this thing

this tour guide looked exactly like Sillian Murphy like Exactly like Sillian Murphy Killian Killian, whatever. Yeah, I mean from your land. Well, whatever and He goes Italy's fuck he forgets Cillian Murphy Cillian Killian Billion million whatever. Yeah But spoke Italian was completely Italian but that kind of throws you off Yeah, yeah, but then he like when he introduced himself at the beginning of the tour he said his last name was Murphy and

Then at the end of the tour Like we were hanging out with them and I was like does anyone ever told you look exactly like killing Murphy and he's like Yeah, I've gotten that like a little bit like and then I was like man That's great. He was like kind of like I don't know maybe yeah And then I go to Venmo and his name is just an Italian last name He he like told the tour his last name was Murphy Obviously, so someone would go Just for pussy, a hundred percent. I love it. And then he pulled up a picture on his

phone of him and he was just like, dude, what are you doing? And then let you know, go now. I mean, I think I've heard of it once. It's just whole fucking living room. He did get me back. He was like, you look Tucker Carlson Did he say that? Yeah Well, there was one he like He hit me he was and it was he was mad too He was like you called him out on shit No, this is earlier on in the tour because he would go like he was like charming he had his like bits You know what I mean? Yeah, he had bits and they were good. Yeah, but every once in a while

We'd be at a table and he'd do like a full Yeah, nah, dude, and it was just like dude like this doesn't have a payoff My girls some of the punch lines you used up already To be quippy. You know what? I mean, Like in the in the witty repartee of the yeah, the meet and greet. You burn some of this already. Yeah. You got to know you got to know when

the fucking cool it, dude. So but then it was like so to me so uncomfortable that I couldn't make eye contact with him. Yes. So I'm just and we're all just sitting at the table and he's at the head of the table doing his thing. And I was just like,

yeah, and he was doing like 12 to 15. I'm telling you dude it was a long. Yeah he should be doing five with the black rat dude. 12, 15 in Rome? The fuck out of here. It was rough. Dude I took Mara's mom came into town months ago this is probably like four months ago, five months ago. And we did the, we're just thinking like things to do. And I was like, things I would never fucking do. So we did that bat tour. I don't know if I talked about on this, but I don't know if you remember me telling you

about the guy, the gondola guy, whatever the fuck. He was just doing all his bits. And he was just, he wouldn't shut the fuck up. Cause the whole purpose of whatever the fuck, he was just doing all his bits. And he was just he wouldn't shut the fuck up. Yeah, because the whole purpose of that is like the sun's coming down. You get to hear the bats. Yes. He pulls up in this pack of boats that are all trying to fight for this little nook where they all come out. Yeah, there's like two million bats in the span of like an hour.

I don't know. But and then he just keeps fucking going. And at one point I just audibly just kept going, Jesus Christ. I couldn't, it was like innate. Yeah. Where like, I stopped, on the way there, I stopped looking at him. I started looking at my feet.

I started exhaling where my girl would just grab my knee because it was quiet. And I'm like, ugh. This dude was bombing so hard. And finally we sit down, I'm like, he should be shutting the fuck up. She's like, stop it. I'm like, well, we're trying to listen to the fucking bats.

And he's still going. And that's when I just kept going, ugh, dude, come on, man. Like enough. You have to hit him with once. Enough. Just a little bit of, come on, dude. And then he's on the dock going,

he's shaking a bucket with like a Venmo thing you could scan I'm like you fucking blew it if you shut the fuck up when you were supposed to shut the fuck up you would have got a couple bucks I also heard that like two million bats is like a ball this big yeah did you tell me that it just yeah you did the bad thing and it was just like yeah it's like someone hit a golf ball. Yeah, it was like, I guess it's out. And also you can't, like they're so small, but when they come out, they like align with the cracks in the bridge, so they're just like, it's like blur.

Yeah. You see a blur, it's like the fucking giant black dude that spits bees in that fucking retard movie. Yeah. Yeah. The green model. He just opens his mouth. Two million bees come out real quick and it's like, this is the blur. But imagine that in dusk where you can't even identify. So funny. It is so funny.

It is so funny. Anytime you try to show your dad like a beautiful allegorical movie, that black eyes. It represents Christ's death. He's dying for their sins. Hey guys, how's it going? This episode is brought to you by Huel. You know it, you love it.

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Is there kids of your unwanted subscriptions reach your financial goes faster with rocket money go to rocket money comm slash stuff island today That's rocket money comm slash stuff island rocket money comm slash stuff island. You know, I signed up for a car wash Monthly fee. Oh my god. I didn't know that because unlike rocket money this cocksucker was like for two months it's $22 it's $15 for a regular wash $22 and then for the second month it's 0.01 cent right? Yes. You get two months for essentially two washes you would be more than that. Yep. Two full months. I washed my car like three four times should have been way more but and Then the receipt they give you it's all the jargon you have to you have to deliver a handwritten Cancellation note seven days prior to the end handwritten handwritten to this car wash place where no one knows English Yeah, that's what they think where they were rocket money gets a hold. That's what I'm saying do it

You know a handwritten note on their fucking That's what I'm saying do you know a handwritten note on their fucking Carved into a little Aldo rain All right, I guess yuck the fuck did he Dude I took I went to, there's one thing, I did have an, going back to your Coliseum map thing, cause the maps they give you are like children's coloring books.

You can't, I know. I know. You got 80 year olds from Liverpool. You gotta circle some stuff. You mean like Big Bird. Big Bird, yeah. So you're looking at this fucking giant map. I've been there three times.

So I've seen everything in Rome and Tuscany and Florence and, you know. But my father only went to Rome once. And I swear to God, I took a different route with this guy one time and it didn't walk down. There's one area, and I don't know, where you turn the corner and you can just see for miles and the pillars are up and up and down and there's partial buildings.

You're passing a graveyard. Oh, yeah. It's the Forum. Yeah. Yeah. You get up on the Forum. It's crazy. I don't think he saw the Forum.

The guy took us around. You can miss it. Yeah. Yeah. You can miss it, yeah, yeah. You can miss it, and it was the most striking thing I saw there, because everything is so compact, where there's no open space really to let it absorb your, which is constantly going, whoa, whoa. And that leveled me, and we missed it when my dad went, and it still wears on me.

Oh, dude, yeah. Because I didn't see it until the second time I went to Rome. Yeah. And I was like, my father, he would have cried. It's like he floored me and I was like, we had now we have to go back. But now he's my yeah, it well I remember because we saw it. I didn't we didn't really see it this time. But we saw it when my dad and I went like 20 years ago. Yeah, we saw it. Yeah. But we it. But we didn't know the Roman Forum was the whole place. We thought the Forum would be like a single thing. Yeah, where you get pizza and soup.

We're wandering around in all this being like, this is amazing. Do you think that's the Forum? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think that's the Forum? Dude, and also do you see, I don't know if they were doing it. Now you have to pay to get in that. We used to... The last time we went, we just wandered around.

I think they... When I went, they were excavating. They're constantly finding other worlds underneath. Dude, that's what I said. They'll dig up to preserve and they'll find another floor of something. There's always roped off and lights on for excavations. Even in the places that you think they've already looked for shit. Yeah. And the Italians kind of are over it.

Yeah, probably. They're 100% over it. Yeah. Every one of them you talk to, it's like you can't build a fucking thing. Yeah. You dig, you dig, you put a shovel in the ground and you hit fucking Yeah, Caesar's wrist. Yeah, and all of a sudden it's just like I gotta come in here. Yeah. Yeah forever

Is everyone everyone you'd ask talk to you about the subway would be like should be better. Yeah, and socks We can't every time you yeah. Yeah, try to build a tunnel. You're just yeah, there's so much shit down there Yeah, well apparently they were pissed off in history Your fat ass has to walk three blocks. That's what that's literally the energy they had I know they were like in the year zero. There was a million people here. Yeah, and then like 800 years later There was like 30,000. Yeah, and then so they just dumped they just filled it in and built on top of yeah And they're like now you they just filled it in and built on top of it. And they're like, now it's back and you wanna build something.

There's a fucking, someone's house is down there. It's like, who gives a fuck? And at that point to them, it's like, it's all the same. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, you found another one? Yeah, yeah, they don't get you. More pots. You found more pots down there? It's one of those unfortunate things.

You're like, I hope I hope you never tire from the visuals of something like that. But you have to. Sitting in traffic, knowing knowing that it could be better. Yeah. But some some dude in the year, like 400, a fell down the steps. Yeah. Built a shithole and just you got to keep that. Yeah. It's probably a pack rat. These clay clay jars that like no one gives a fuck about. But now we're excavating it like Caesar's head.

No, it could be anything. Yeah. They did. Yeah. It's got to be exhausting. Do you have a favorite part? That's that's a tough question. But yeah, I don't know. That's a tough question, but yeah Give me a puffer. I think it's like nice when you were I don't know this time I got really into just like

Like I said, I kept going to that one coffee shop because it was not touristy It was just people getting to work Yeah and you just like there was like there was three just people that made the coffee and they were like really fun and good and they just Everyone would shoot shoot the shit for 15 seconds and then move. Yeah And I was just like this is nice Like nuts, I don't know. This is just a fucking subjective opinion, but having two weeks at a location Such as such, you know as grand Rome, you do some of the tourist stuff,

but then you set some time aside to learn the culture. Yeah. Or absorb the culture, not learn it, but like, you know, go to a countryside. You go to Tuscany at all? Yeah. So we went, where the place my buddy got married was like out in like on a vineyard kind of thing. Oh yeah.

And it was up on this hill that that I don't even know someone that has over overlooked Florence. Jesus Christ. It was fucking nuts. What's he do this? I almost called him. I'm pissed. I don't know.

Hey. Good for him. What's he do? Well, he's gotta be finance or something, right? Cause he's Connecticut. No, he lives, he lives, he's been in Europe for like 20 years. Oh, wow. Yeah. He lives in Copenhagen.

He does like tech. No, he does. He's like a headhunter, but for like executives, you know, he works with companies to find like an executive that's going to help him change like a big company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. That's pretty sad. I guess. And if 20 million is pretty sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His lady does the same thing. So they're yeah, they're doing good. Yeah How is that the sir the ceremony itself? I was great. Oh so fun

But I thought everyone was gonna be going nuts like, you know, we're in fucking Tuscany Yeah, but they live there and they're like this is nobody lives there. No, nobody's from Tuscany. Oh, but they're all old rich white people Well, I thought I thought the like I just saw whether any any black guys or Puerto Ricans that really fucking turn it on now No, but I thought it's like we're having fun. No one bought like a funky suit. I Went out I got yeah, I got no one bought any Wearing suits I Got linen pants. I got a fucking yeah, I got a white I was wearing you know you got a double-breasted Fucking like this

Homer Simpson fucking me I had like a fuzzy shirt. I was going crazy. I was like whatever I'm fucking right exactly But it's why we're killed the fire But everyone everyone it was Connecticut and Germany yeah like so they were all just you know It was if they were fun, but it was all just like everyone was your ass like Yeah, it was like a place you want to be not one Music choice They were get they were getting us. It was dancing. Yeah dance floor was fun. That's gotta be fun Just watching I love watching old white people. It was also just like the dinner itself was fucking sick You know, I mean it was just I've never been to a place like that in my life. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah

It was crazy just sitting on like a hillside. I don't know you can't do you think they consummated the marriage? Or do you think they're retired too? What no no they probably got after yeah, yeah, yeah, they're fun. They're fun group They're getting wild you bring that double-breasted suit home. I did let me try it on cuz I Don't think you're gonna use that Probably not actually that's where I got my double breast it's from Italy oh no I got this at Madewell oh nice yeah yeah well that's fine I went to Madewell and bought a bunch of stuff I guess I made

well dude they must have known I was coming because they had at least they had an Irish guy's idea of what yeah yeah that's great yeah it was yeah well you went far enough you didn't go too crazy You know, I mean you weren't wearing a fucking beret with a fake mustache You walk the line Certainly walk the line I pulled it off but I would have been I'm sure me and she Have some things to say about the picture Look great for there if you you rolled up at an American wedding like that. Well, the reason I didn't post any photos.

I thought I was in the trust tree. Well, that's good. Your parents got like, you know, it did stuff because I've when I took my mom and dad, my mom, like she would tie her out quick because it is a lot of walking. Yeah, it's a lot of uphills, you know, so she was beat most of the time. We went to a Mafia Coast for for five days.

And the ride out there dude, they got these Sprinter vans for the tourists and the fucking the whops that drive these vans are lawless. Yes, we're talking F1 type mentality. Yeah, they might do these neck exercises just because the hillside is the windiest thing you can imagine and the undulation. It's like you're constantly doing this and you can't because they're they're sprinters to fit like 20 fat

foreigners. Dude, they're the seats are high so you can't see the horizon. You can't lock on to anything. No. And you're going like this. So my mom's got a barf bag out. Yeah. And they're honking. Yeah.

Because they don't know what's coming around. You can't see. Yeah. So they're just going, hopefully. Hopefully someone's just hearing that I'm coming. And then they miss side view mirrors by a cunt hair. Yeah. And there's always gasps from the people in the,

because they think we're gonna hit. And then whoever's on the outside, you're one, two feet from rolling down this gorgeous cliff and dying in a beautiful fiery wreck. It's fucking wild. Yeah, dude. They drive like absolute dickheads. But even that, I expect a clip and just go oh, yeah

Yeah, yeah, I did say the big fat black retard would do I watch I watched him like cuz they were reposting like Matt and Shane clips Yeah From back in the day. Yeah, and I'm going just like man. Yeah, I forget Doing this a lot. Yeah, you're like three inches shorter. Good Lord. Yeah. Not even said even the look at dish videos from like two and a half, three years ago. Oh, yeah. We're kids. Yeah.

I look so much different. Yeah. We talked about on the podcast. I don't think you were here. There's two aging years. Oh, yeah. So your body goes through like significant aging. It's 45 and 60. Really?

Yeah. That's what I mean. Genetically, that's what they say. I don't know. Maybe we could stave it off. Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing my best.

Actually, no, not even close. No, not even close. We're doing everything wrong. Yeah. I'm trying my best. Actually, not even close. I'm not doing everything wrong. Yeah, I'm trying to do my worst. I'm doing my best while doing the worst. Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, keep trying to move. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to.

It's a balance. It's a delicate balancing act. Yeah. Trying to balance the croissants with the balls. Me just not doing drugs anymore. I'm like, what else can I do? Yeah, it's all I already did. Yeah, we good. Yeah.

That's because after we record here, Chris leaves this thing running for three days straight. I don't. Josh does. Take the card out and then we'll leave it on. You might be on the chopping block. Everyone's getting it to them. Yeah, now we're getting all these new hires in for a look at Dish Revamp.

That's good energy. That's good energy to bring into the room. Yeah. What, you might be fired? It's more positive than how we started. What do you mean? energy to bring into the room yeah well you might be fired it's more positive than how we started what do you mean we started like we were in our year and all about the fight well are you just exalt you get your you you you deplete it yeah so too there's a lot of socializing what's the come down going from fucking Rome to Austin? That's gotta be... It's kinda nice to be back.

Honestly, the weather's not that different. The weather there was fucking unbelievable. What? Yeah. But I think we just got lucky. Because every dude we talked to was like, man, you guys are... I can't believe how good the weather is right now. Normally it's just wet.

Oh, it's a rainy season I don't think it supposedly doesn't rain there that much. It just gets humid as fuck It's kind of like down here where you just like yeah, it normally it's just thick. Yeah, but It was it was like crisp and cool and nice there. Yeah Apparently it was like they were everyone was telling us that it was because it was like lush and green and they were like It's not supposed to be like this. Yeah, normally it's like arid and like brown and burnt like how Austin gets. Yeah Where all the grass is like I guess it's alive it comes back. But did you go to Milan now? No, we just went from Rome to Florence. She see Milan. I bet it's

Yeah, Chab Milan. I bet it's yeah. Chabella. I bet. Dude, the dudes there, too. That's the other impressive part about their driving is nobody's looking at the road because they're all staring at hot. Yes, they're like they don't even they don't even pretend to not. Yeah. Every dude is just gawking. Yeah. Yeah. It's the hornet. The place on Earth. Yeah.

It's the horniest place on Earth. It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. It's the horniest place on earth. Yeah. It's the horniest place on earth. It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. It's like an airport for me. I'm always horny at an airport. Of course. Yeah. How could you not be? Just give me two drinks at the Delta Lounge and I am chomping at the bit to eat ass in the fucking private bathroom. Couple hard boiled eggs, eat some buns buns it does international waters it is yeah, you go come on. We're yeah We're out here. Yeah, you know who knows where and the next plane could take us We could go anywhere you wake up four hours later your wife's on the phone Fuck yeah, I'll be home soon When's your next destination you're going up on the road

Next week, I think yeah going to Cali going back to Cali nice yeah parts I think Anaheim and San Diego San Diego rules yeah you only have one day there though I think two oh that's nice two and then back yeah that'll be fucking sick I'm out there oh that was the other crazy thing fucking Santino I was like I finally got sold I got in a race I got to Florence I'm sitting in some fucking piazza drinking with my friends and he just walks up behind me Oh you guys ran into each other. Yeah, he just he he somehow knew I was there I guess he had talked to my girls. I know I had no fucking idea. Jesus christ And I I he has my location because from when we were on the road together that was truly to know where I was

He has my location because from when we were on the road together that was truly The way to Florence the last thing you see is a bright redhead He filmed it I thought he would you know, I don't know what he doing a golf or was it a vacation No, he was just like on vacation out there. This episode is also brought to you by The Ridge Wallet. The Ridge Wallet? Look. Baby, I'm loving it. It's a great wallet. I am loving it. Okay. It's sleek. I've been wearing a bag of your pants too So you can't see the You know the structure of it. Oh, yeah, dude. It is a fucking beast. And the pickpockets, they don't know what's going on. Yeah, yeah, do you think a hot Italian woman would get in my Ridge Wallet? Yeah, yeah. Fuck structure of it. Oh, yeah, it is a fucking beast and the pickpockets. They don't know what's going on Yeah, do you think a hot Italian woman to get in my Ridge wallet? Yeah, yeah fuck out of here

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Where I'm like, he didn't like go out of his way to do this. You know what I mean? You start going like, oh, and like it was it was so I was like you could see my face I'm like excited and then I'm like, yeah This wasn't like Please tell me you didn't Please tell me you didn't put a lot of effort. Yeah, I'm not worth this Let you know

Promise you I'm not worth this I'm already letting you down in my head. And then he was like, no, no, no, I was in town. I was like, oh, thank you. Hey! Yeah. So it's not me? It's not me?

Let's hug over it. Dap me up. But yeah, that was like fucking surreal. That's so funny. Then like, you know, his parents were there. My parents were there. We all went out to dinner. It was like fucking nuts.

That's crazy. It's crazy, that was like, yeah, my brain was pretty rattled from that whole thing. You're just like walking around Florence, getting drunk with them, my parents was like, that was bizarre. I was texting Richie Redding to be here, 3.30. You know Richie Redding to be here 330, you know Richie ready There's a fun wig from og philly days opens for cat Williams, yeah

Or at least he used to Yeah, we'll talk to him about it. Yeah Cats are still those cat is the man. That is the fucking best He's the best. He's my favorite. He's somehow everything he does is great He really does exemplify a comedian. Yeah, where it's like He's completely Out of his mind fucking mind. Yeah Like if you were in the same room as him, you'd almost be scared

Yeah, and yet he'll have like the most lucid takes. Yeah Yeah, yeah, you're like what? Yeah, yeah, what is this? Magic. Yeah, it's almost like he was alchemy you're doing he uses the Having a teenager on a basketball court. Why are you there? And then the next thing you know, you're like breaking down Israel Palestine in a hilarious.

He seems to like it's almost like he's created this, this insane, insane shell to protect people and ward off people from getting close. Cause they're afraid of him. Like you said, you know, it's like an unleashed untrained pit bull and a fucking party. And then it's like the flip of the switch just shows his brilliance and you're like, oh this might be actually he might just be doing an act He might have been Kaufman this whole thing. It really is a fucking When they're watching the age of man like like he's old and sick and he's like this is the trick He's pretending yeah, yeah He's pretending yeah, yeah

Total commitment to his craft. Yeah, dude him going on What's his faces podcast and just shitting on Diddy and like all the stuff before it came out? Oh, so great There's a sorcerer. He was saying all this shit's gonna happen and fucking oh Was he? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, he's like that's why I didn't turn down. I don't know how to do his voice yet But uh, he'd like turning that turning down going to all these celebrity parties You know, he was just like openly saying like that's why I never fuck with that, you know Yeah, I guess you could also probably just he's like this storm is a brewing, you know And he was fucking right I

Guess you could probably just guess with a lot of that. You know, I mean good thing. I threw it out, huh? Well, the thing is I won't have it when I leave you Right, that's the wean. He'll just be thinking about it Yeah, I'm telling you I think on the way over here. I just started hitting my pockets forgetting. I threw it out I'd like to take a trip. We should take a trip and just cold turkey one week everything I started hitting my pockets, forgetting I threw it out. I'd like to take a trip. We should take a trip and just... Cold turkey one week. Everything? Just do it.

You gotta give me a couple pops. I would love to see a cold turkey. I'll do a cold turkey week with you. Just cold... Yeah, just go somewhere. Everything? No, that's crazy. I guess we have a few beers, but no nicotine. No nicotine. No drugs. Yep So no marijuana no mushrooms. No fucking anything nothing to break the just quit vaping. I would also do no Hard liquor I would just do like seltzer's and light stuff. Yeah, which is no that's not drinking. No, no, that's taken

light stuff. Yeah, which is note that's not drinking. No, no, that's taking any glasses of wine. Couple glasses of wine. They don't have sulfates in the Italian. Yeah, they don't. You don't get a hangover. Or what I think that's drink natural wines. Yeah, I really got fucked up at Sam town. You drink fucking 10 bottles of wine. We're fine. The next day. Fine. I'm under wearing my head. Still making pasta. It's out that day.

I would. I think, I think, I think it's the only way to break, break the curse. All right. It's just because I think, I think, I think you get sick. You do? Yeah. Like I think, I think the nicotine withdrawal is is is pretty real so no zins no zins no nothing Just we're all dogging. Yeah, why don't we go to a lake?

You know when you take like when you don't vape for like 12 hours that weird fucking clumsy boy Just got a lot to clean up out there fucking clumsy broad Just got a lot to clean up out there You know that weird brain fog you get yeah like you you feel like you're like outside of your body Yeah, I go to the gym two days. I can I really I feel like I'm swimming in cobwebs wait right now You haven't gone to the gym in two days yesterday. What happened before we? Once we start the meeting o'clock the meeting we had and then I drank a few ciders. I was already feeling like shit

I was like, I just want to get through Our pod I mean what a perfect time to set this You think Chris has this in his calendar, I thought we were doing it one yeah his calendar. I thought we were doing it one. Yeah. Well, we still have to go to three. I didn't know we were doing two hours. What do you think we do here every week? What we're doing is we're doing a thing tomorrow. Oh, that's for me. That's for next room.

Me off the trail. Landau's in town just for a minute. Once you got here and it was two hours, then you're just like, well, we bring rain. Yeah. The only way over is through just picking our feet up. She's vacuuming underneath. That would be nice. Oh man. Well, I'm glad you had a good time.

We should go to a lake house close. There's like a, there's a place called Fredericksburg that I, people have been raving about, dude, I just drove west this morning. It's gorgeous. It's unbelievable. Yeah, it's hilly. Unbelievable. It's the first time I really went that way.

I just went for a drive. I was like, hey, get out of the house. My doctor's office is up there and it's fucking... I think I'm going to start driving around. I mean, once we started doing the Tacoma 3, T3 EPS, I would just like to start driving northwest. Yeah. And you just find you just, you hit a hill

and you're like, whoa, you just see the vastness of the countryside and it gets country quick. It's like PA how like you go 30 minutes left. Dude. And it's a fucking. And it gets a little, there's some, there's a ridge line, there's some mountains. Yeah, there's mountain people.

Yeah, it's crazy We do a lake house I Love it. There's lakes up there. Are there? Yeah, we do a nice little Lake Airbnb, that'd be nice. We can pot swim around. We'll cook do some just some LED I'd like to get nice on a jet ski and do some of those moves oh the one where you go down the way do they exist ski doos there's gotta be some guys that are still do there's gotta be some guys that are still doing it see do no that's if that's the one word had like the the the fucking handlebars yeah I think that's the that's the jet ski and the wave runners locked in

Oh, no, the wave runners the stand-up one. I Don't think so. I think the wave runs a stand-up one. I think the jet ski is the like the fucking yeah, like the motorcycle Yeah, the locked ones are for putting like fat ass Latinas on in Jamaica. You know, let them jiggle around. How brutal did it have to be for some of those people that spent like, they put their 10,000 hours in on the Wave Runner and then people just went, yeah, no, that sucks. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much.

I'm not watching that anymore. Dude, they would come up and go down and they'd like there was spin and check. Yeah. Yeah, they're like On that yeah It's like it's like the kids that like kids in Philly where it's just like yeah, I've seen the wheelie Yeah, what else are we doing? Yeah, you know what I mean at some point? Well, there's no middle ground It's like the maniacs that do X Games and the shit they pull off. off where do you go to train for that shit you know just fucking skate park they throw it fucking go with their bite fucking air that's so insane that is so insane that's out in the country yeah those guys well you know these little

Russians and fucking Romanians they get on these trampolines and then have old perverts like help them with their triple flips Yeah, and they've like safety precautions intellects sponge pits Like they're being trained to be miserable and stunt their growth for fucking 30 years Yeah, and they come out like little pygmy squirrels and they never grow past like four feet But they still have like a fucking you know a Ninja Turtle shell they're disgusting I like you I like the little retired retired gymnast are frightening to see I love it I love I watched one throw a pitch out like a first pitch and I got close to her

incredible shape but it's like it's the it the strangest thing. It's like seeing a fucking yeah, it's a shaved gorilla. It's like Just like this is all too tight. Yeah. Yeah, you ever see a horseshoe crab come out of each other get a new shell It's got that fucking tail thing It's got that fucking tail thing They can't even they don't even have the flexibility to like Yeah, it's just all compact You know wish ever every every day every dude every young dude wanted to do the Iron Cross Iron Cross rules Yeah, I still watch that on my Twitter. Just the giant dudes holding the fucking Roman pillars. Yeah. I Didn't know that was a thing. I was like an is that an Olympic thing or just like yeah

Yeah, it was like a move in the Olympics That I think they outlawed for a little while like a one guy did it and ripped his arm off No, no, they were just like that's stopped doing that. I think it was like a political thing I think like a Russian guy did it and they were like that's banned from now on Yeah, there was like something like he was against the government. He's like a torture system I think the other nations were like we hate that that's no one else can do that. And now it's banned Speaking of tush push tush push made it through made it through not bad. It had to make it through Of course, it had to make it's a normal football play that everybody could do but you just can't do it as good as Phil. Yeah, which also I'm surprised about so am I

What's going on? I thought after game. Do you know much tape? The other teams are watching they just can't Slow-mo angles Five different angles who's ducking down where and when yeah, how do we combat that? And you can't figure it out the highest level. It's, it's baffling to the point where we have to talk about it. I know, two guys have no idea what to have what the fuck, how they do it. And also the D lines. You're not like your dog barking at self in the mirror to quote Gervin, but like you're not

like, there's not that much size difference. We're not talking about NFL team versus college team. It's like, stop us. I don't know. Yeah, but it's talking about form function and speed. Yeah. Something is missing that no other team can do it. Cause when they do it, they're not trying to do it against for they're doing against other teams. And it just, it's a flop. I know. But yeah, I think, I think once they're done paying the meatballs, because I think everyone drafted like a giant piece of steak. Yeah. This time around. Right. Didn't didn't aren't there teams that drafted like a guy who's played like one game and he's just like six. Yeah, I mean, he's going to put them right on the defensive line. That's why the combine is so important because if you're showing speed and skill sets that can be trained You know, it's like it's like anything else going like you can't you can't you can't train certain things

But I can get you into a form. It's like my a lot of Jordan my a lot of yeah, right He played rugby and he was such a fucking freak beast They were like you ever try American football and he's like nah And so then he just learned how to play football at the highest level he's a pro bowler like he's just the best but eventually they're gonna They're just gonna get someone from a thousand pound life, right? on the nose of the ball It's just like move that guy. Yeah, we own a mountain Just a wheel barrel empty the mountains on his back

Two other defensive liners get him out there and just sit him down. You gotta waste all your timeouts getting this fat shit back on the sideline. I got a TV timeout. Carl's back out. It's Carl. Man, those sounds thousand pound. They're hard to watch because it becomes like smell-o-vision for me. Oh, yeah. I just imagine the fucking this thing. Yeah. You ever sit next to someone who's moderately fat? Yeah.

So what happens is there's a growth of bacteria in their faults because of the density of the moisture. Yeah. And it is because it's like dying, decaying flesh and bacteria. Yeah. And it's not that they don't clean out. Yeah. So I watch these guys. It's like getting under a boat. You know, you take the thing. It's particles.

Particles between the kneecaps. Then hose it. You see this footage of cleaning whales and stuff? God, they're not for resale either. Hard to get off your hands once you buy one of these. That is the other thing about, that is the other thing about Rome is that- No fats.

The big boys, there are some. Yeah, but they're moderate. There were some, no, there were some- Walk up to them, ask their ID. I'm talking about tourists. That's what I mean, you gotta go, yeah. Yeah, and it takes its toll. You see them, there were some. Walk up to them, ask their ID. I'm talking about tourists. That's what I mean, you gotta go, yeah. Yeah, and it takes its toll. You see them, you see them.

It's like, yeah. They're all sitting there. They're wearing those like, what are those, like tin foil blankets? They're wearing them after a marathon? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like. Reflecting the sun.

That's just one hill there. And it's just metal, tin blanket. Take your pictures. Bowl of Carbonara. He did it. He fucking did it. Dude, they'll sit on like old Roman Collins. Dude, it's so true. If there's no Roman Collins, they pull up like a chair from a restaurant.

They're not even eating. No, none pull up like a chair from a restaurant. That's just they're not even No, none of the chairs work out there for them. Yeah true. There's not a chair in Italy that can hold Yeah, a full-size American. So they have to sit on something Marble, yeah stone. I saw this melting candle try and get into like a fucking Roller coaster seat their whole thing was like they're not making roller coasters for big people. It's like, of course we're not. Yeah, it's going a thousand miles an hour in loops. You think I want to sit next to you to offset the fucking weight distribution?

It can fucking fly off the track. Yeah, you're a death hazard. Yeah, you're a death hazard to yourself, let alone this speed ball going up in the fucking loop-de-loop. You fucking monster. Go get some dip and dives and wait for me to get done having fun It would be just they just strap them in sideways yeah Dude, imagine going on a roller coaster. And some dude sideways. Dude, that happened in Wildwood not too long ago, like 20 years ago. Some dude got his head lopped off because he'd slid out of his harness

and he slid like up this way. And it was back when, like, you could, they're still, I think it's still there, but they, you know how, as the thing's like coming down and it like gets close to the ground, do you know the foundational poles that are like holding it like an angle? His fucking head going, boom, came right the fuck off. Imagine it slowing down, you're coming to,

you're like, the colors coming back in your face. You look over the guy. She's headless Just pulling all of your fucking laughs You got to get a piece of that lawsuit too cuz you know, they're fucked for life. Yeah scarring. Yeah but head back to Guy in But head back to a fat guy in in like paint me white like one of your French girls like repose hilarious Rippin on is so funny. It's just enjoying it You can almost like hear the parents warning him as he's getting so fat like you're not going to be able to go to Great Adventure next year. You keep this off.

Like they're using it as a threat. You want to ride this? You want to ride this? You better stop eating that. There's a training compilation. He's just shadow boxing in McDonald's parking lot. All right. Well, that was Italy. Italy, Italy.

It was a beautiful place. I do want to spend like a month there kind of. Of course, I know, I know, I know, obviously. I do kind of want to get my dick sucked by six girls. For a month. And just get into the

culture, see what's going on. I think I'm going I'm gonna retire there And I'm old if I may be awesome. There's We're France. My girl wants to be living in the south of France. She lived in France for a year. She's obsessed with it Yeah, I've never been well, I went in I like I went like over the border. It's like going to Camden. Yeah Yeah, I didn't get into france I'm supposed to go on 9 11. I don't want to bring it up again Yeah, well

Never made it we can go there quit vape actually you can't go to the land of the ground zero what no go to france Oh, yeah. Yeah I do think if you plan it far ahead enough, it's it's not that bad No, the fucking dude, I will say I got like four grand in it far ahead enough, it's not that bad. No, the fucking... Dude, I will say this... I got like four grand in fucking flyer miles. Dude. Just cash. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I got like a million miles to use. Yo, dude, yeah. It's not about the flight. You can do it just on miles. You can easily do it just on miles. But it's also the... I will say the prices over there are fucking unbelievably good. Dude, we would... Because we were rolling around with like a pretty big group

There'd be like ten of us. Yeah, everyone would get like two drinks and a little we'd have like a bunch of snacks and shit Yeah, and the bill would be like 150 bucks incredible. You're like, I'll tell you what right now. How is this possible? I'm getting fired up but fucking dude. I got Austin needs to calm the fuck down Pretending they're fucking Rome. Like we do. We sushi. We I was hungry and we had nothing. Yeah, it was like one hundred and seventy five hours. We'd one drink each dude.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And it was like in a strip mall, which apparently she loves sushi and strip malls because it reminds her Indiana. I'm like, we're gonna get fucking raped and fleeced in this place. And we did. Dude, I got a cocktail. Cocktails are $18.

It's insane. And guess what? I got one more beef. If you own a bar that has pre-made spout cocktail, let's say it's a fucking Paloma, that you would charge $15 to handshake at a cocktail bar. If it's on a spout, half it. Yes.

I'm not spending any money because you're not doing anything. And also the quality's down. Yep. There's no freshness. It's in a fucking tanker, running through a spit tube that you haven't cleaned in a while. It's $8.

If it's 16, handmade, eight bucks out of a spout. That's why I'm getting it out of the spout. I'm with you. And say it on here, from a draft. I'm with you. Let me know it's a draft, I won't buy that fucking cocktail. If I see this fucking bitch, walk up to it and then go like this, go, oh, fuck it,

the plum is out of a fucking spigot. It's like the Sani hose water. Yeah, it's hose water, the fucking Dasani hose water. Fucking cunt. Calm down, Austin. Your coffees are like eight bucks now. You cock sucker. Dude, I got a coffee.

We're almost done anyway. I got a coffee, a water, and a chocolate croissant. Three euro. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, I still dream of I like protested the bill I was like, are you? Yeah, I'm sorry. You must have missed a bottle of water. Yeah bottle of water is six euro 65 dollars It was unbelievable. Do you know I steal water every time we go fly?

Oh yeah, you got it. Every airport, that's what I do. My girl at this point, she gets like fucking, she gets sick to her stomach and nervous or just like embarrassed. Just hides in the bushes. No, she'll just, she'll be like, I'll meet you at the lounge.

And I just walk up to one of those fucking Hudson newses. I grab two big Evian's or Fiji's, I go fucking high class. I'll pick up something, I go walk around, and then I'll just go, baby, hey, what's that? All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I just walk.

Yeah, brilliant. Do you want anything? And I just act out. Yeah. I'm not talking to anyone. I pretend to go talk to somebody, and then sometimes I'll just take a peek back Because they're wondering like what's this guy doing and then I'll grab something

I'll look at a book and then I just walk I walk away with thirty dollars worth of fucking heavy I almost feel like you're working too hard. You can just walk in there grab it. Sometimes your shoes. It's for me Yeah, yeah, cuz I'm getting off on it too. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? There's the whole airports looking at you All right, let's go I gotta piss