Stuff Island - James McCann + Shawn Gardini - Stuff Island #184

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Tommy is joined this week by Shawn Gardini and James McCann. James and Shawn are both stand up comedians who can be seen on Matt and Shanes Secret Podcast and Kill Tony. Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconn... Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/... BETTER HELP! Visit https://betterhelp.com/stuffisland and get 10% off your first month right from the comfort of your own home For a limited timed Chubbie is giving our views 20% off your order with code STUFFISLAND at www.chubbiesshorts.com - stand out with Chubbies! Get a free 7-Day Trial + 50% off your first month with code STUFFISLAND. Just download the HOF app on IOS or Android and enter code STUFFISLAND and you're all set - check out HOF at https://hofbets.com/ Get a FREE cold brew maker with your trade cold be subscription at drinktrade.com/stuffisland Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, but you got to start a little anger. That's how the show works. But if we can, what, turn it around? You want to have a positive episode? Yeah, let's have a little joy. I like that. Sean, you want some joy?

Sure. I'll take some joy. Yeah. You see your voice went high. I take it back. I'm off joy. Fuck you. Yeah, me too. I'm all about being serious. That is my reinvention. I'm take some joy. Yeah, see? Your voice went high. I take it back. I'm off joy. I'm all about being serious. This is my reinvention. I'm watching it here. This whole outfit is reinvention? International businessman. It's my new thing. So you're going to do the stage thing

that comics do where they only wear the same jumpsuit but you're going to wear this? And I like that. I feel bad wearing the sunglasses even. I'm taking them off. I feel like a dickhead. I'm upset with the whole getup I fucking hate it We're doing big we're doing big shows now. We're getting big numbers a lot of eyeballs on this. Yeah Fashion houses should be giving us free things

Fashion houses, I'm wearing chubby shorts right now. You shouldn't have to pay for those chubby. We don't oh You know give you the shorts. Yeah, they're very very small They're five and a half. We probably have an ad read five and a half Right where you want, but when you sit down in a pod chair see a quarter Lady viewership is just spiked. Yeah. Well, I've got a lot of shit for this. Thanks for bringing it up I mean some people are gonna talk about a bit I'll be the top comment about my nuts hanging out these fucking these hugger Yeah, I was gonna say is the size how long your penis is? No, it's the It's the inseam it's from here to here I got these at TJ Maxx. Yeah

That's why you're pissed at him. Look at this. I look, I show the respect, Sean. You fell through a locking bound. Sean, this is the new Tonight Show. This is getting higher ratings than Jimmy Kimmel. 100%. Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, they're all fake.

They're all fake ratings. This show buries Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, 1 million percent. I agree. How are your shows in Philly? Great, I had so much fun. If you came and you're listening to this, thank you so much.

I appreciate it. It means the world to me. I was having anxiety attacks the whole time, but it was a blast. At least you go to a different city to feel the same way. Do you think it's any different? No, yeah. I've been feeling bad at home too lately. I don't know what's up with me. Jesus Christ. You know, I also have generalized... That's funny. Well, I thought we were gonna have a happy episode.

I was lying in bed today thinking, what is this pervasive, inexpressible horror? Yeah, that's how I've been feeling. I was just in bed going, something's wrong, and I don't have any words for it. That's what you do. And it makes me want to drink a lot. Yeah.

And scream. That's what makes you, that throw on your short shorts, tie your fucking shoes, you use that as energy. And then you see somebody and you go to go say how's it going? You go great, and then you go you About I got madden I went out and I bought Madden. Oh, you're trying to learn with the boys Yes I think that's an important social skill in America is being able to possibly pick up a controller and play Madden

You have it back fires like dancing in the 19th century with up a controller and play Madden. Yeah, but it backfires. It's like dancing in the 19th century. With people that don't know how to play Madden, you're like, you're the worst case scenario. Cause then you gotta go, Hey, I brought my son. He's going to play 18 holes with us. And everyone's like, Jesus Christ.

Follow this kid around the fucking woods. Just be able to pick it up and be just in it. Just involved, you know, just to be able to participate. Yeah. You got a headset. Madden. No, I'm not playing online. I'm playing the computer.

Oh, okay. I don't even know what difficulty setting I should be going on. Don't you have like six kids? I've got three kids. They like just sit there and play fucking Madden terribly. Currently I've got 20 minutes into Madden. Yeah. One time I may leave it alone and never go back to it.

You hold a different button to catch it in a different way. Yeah. After you throw it, you did the throw and that was it. They'll sort it out. No, you have to focus on catching. That's where I'm going. It's getting complicated. It's you got to, you can, you hold the left bumper and you run in a funny way.

Yeah. To disrespect people. I just got the meta quest. I'm busting balls. Are you doing that? You put, you're wearing the headset. Well, you're wearing the VR. Yeah.

Yeah. And I have to move furniture and wait till she goes to bed. Yeah. You got to blast the lights because it's the only way the system recognizes the movement. It's not the opposite where you can like in shame shuttle the lights out. Like I'm not doing this. It's fucking two o'clock in the morning. All my lights at my house are on. You're moving around? I'm just fucking... You've got to use your arms. Oh, I thought it was just a headset.

No, it's a full... You can use... You don't even need the paddles anymore for the new one. You can use these killing fucking terrorists. How are you keeping up the weird? I bet there's weird porno for that. There is. There is. You go to any porn site and you just type in VR. I can never buy it. Yeah, it's fun, man. It's fun. But it's a lot. You know, you get caught jerking off with the fucking headset on. It's not, man. It's fun, but it's a lot. You know, you get caught jerking off with a fucking headset on.

It's not just shame, it's a talking to. Then she thinks that's all you're doing. So every time you turn down sex, it's like, how many times you play games this week, Tom? You still playing games? Cause you haven't played any games with me lately. It's so important to keep the sexual, it's difficult to walk around with the sexual tension

of not jerking off, but you gotta give that to the marriage. Dude, I'm up to four days right now. Congratulations. That's my fucking record. Yeah, that's good. Four days, no blasting, unbelievable. I mean, it came off the heels of being sick and depression, so I used that as a jump off point.

That's right, it's like quitting smoking. It's like quitting drinking. Yeah. You gotta wait till you have the flu and just go, I don't want that shit. And then you already cleaned your system. Also, I would say you should get in that standup in 10 days. Huh? Yeah.

So that's gotta help. That's why I gotta stop. That's gotta. Dude, yeah, going out and fucking seeing the boys, not touching the sauce. You go on the road, you're anxious, you gotta do a show, you're in a hotel room, a line. The Shane shows, how do you not fucking blast off

immediately when you get on the jet? See ya. I don't care what time you get off. Give me a double fucking. They come the Shane shows. How do you not fucking blast off immediately when you get on the jet? See ya. I don't care what time you get off. Give me a double fucking. They come out like. It's very scary. They ask for your breakfast order, you know? They're like, well we have some burritos for you guys.

And immediately I'm like, give me a double fucking, you know, give me double Tito's and soda. Give me a double fucking Mark. I did just find out what a, a parfait, it's a word I didn't know. A parfait. Oh, you never heard of it? I've been having parfaits my whole life.

It's just, you know, I get with some stuff on it. Yeah. It's a, you call it parfait. You feel a little better about it. I felt this way about when I found out about bruschetta, tomatoes on toast. Yeah. That's just a good eating. The name, the guy you named Parfait was dressed exactly like you changed the game.

He's like, you know what? You guys need to switch it up. I got to do something. This is this is what depression looks like is I'm going to go and buy a Shaquille O'Neal jacket. That's the one I could fit into in the thrift store at this point was once you buy in Shaquille O'Neal line of clothing, it's time to go to the fucking gym. Like the fucking NBA players.

I like that it was like a big 90s basketball draft. Wait, is that actually literally a Shaquille O'Neal? You're gonna have a look on the back. You're wearing Shaq. No, it's not. Yeah, that's way too short. No, it's a Shaq suit. Oh, it's his brand. It's not his suit. Doesn't belong to Shaq. A friend of ours just bought a lot of gear from a very famous person. Oh, he's already talked about it. Oh, he's already talked about it? Dude, he bought like 50 ties from OJ.

OJ's house collection, which I was egging him on and hammered like, you gotta get the ties. What if somebody gets married? I was saying the exact same thing and all the groomsmen at Tommy's wedding could be taken out of OJ's house. Yes, dude. OJ ties, he goes, I'll rent them out. And I went, get the fuck out of here. You better.

How do you break any of these vows? This rip guy. You, how long you been married? I think seven years. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Gardini is in love.

This will tear you up. Talk about how much love you are. I'd rather not. But I am feeling happy now that I'm with you up. Talk about how much I love you are. I'd rather not Feeling happy now that I'm with you guys, I'm sorry that started off. Wow, so blue. What are you coming out in my mood? Nothing, just you know seeing family being really busy doing the shows. Yeah in home You know you miss home and then you hear your mom's mouth Your mom's man, yeah, you know when you go home, you're like, I miss home. Yeah. And then within an hour, she's yelling from six other rooms and you're just like, can you just give me a second?

It's really hard being with people is hard. Being alone is hard. Yeah. Seeing people intermittently is not pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing good. Yeah. I'm sorry to bring it back down again. It's all just pain and decay until you finally die. Well, that's why I think it's hard as an adult that, you know, you only have two or three friends because you find that one guy that you could be sad or happy with. Yes. And you don't have to talk about all the time. Yeah. You know, somebody pestering you with a mic in front of your face saying, why are you sad? You just want to get blasted at a pizza shop. I'm trying to stay off the booze too, because I went way too hard back home. Like, hard to a way where I was like waking up feeling... Suicidal?

Yeah, yeah. Like really, really, really bad. Yeah. So I'm two or three days off right now and I'm coming back to life. Dude, you cut down to like four or five drinks that are like light, like beers, it's like you're taking off and you go, oh, you go to the gym once. Yeah. I'm out of that suicidal rage.

Yeah. The whiskeys do to me. I'm out of that suicidal rage. The whiskey is due to me. I think I might have to switch. That's what I do. No hard shit at home anymore. Oh, that's, that's all I do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you drink moderately.

I do. You know what? I don't have the constitution. I think that saved me. I can't, I have two beers and I get real sleepy. Yeah. The whiskey is allowing me to push through that. You have kids and a wife and you're working hard at podcasting and stand up.

You tire out. I've done a podcast in two weeks. I've done my own podcast in two weeks. I'm just doing the Patreon. I'm doing a Sean Gardini. I'm letting it all wither on the vine. Yeah, that's what I do too. Well, why don't you just do it every week?

This is what you have to do. And even when you don't want to do it. Cause I do it alone. This is a great mistake. I do it alone too. You need somebody to count on. I have no production team. I have no co-hosts.

We could do it together. Do you want to start a podcast? Starting a new podcast would be hard. You just want half the money from my podcast. Also putting pressure on you with cameras on is crazy. I just recruit you as a co-host. You want to be co-captain of the catamaran plan? I'll be your first mate. You already have a first mate, you can be second mate. I'll be the second mate. Who's your first mate? A man who lives in Australia. Oh, okay, I see.

What's he, Zoom In? Tell us about your podcast. I'll tell you what I'm talking about. What I'm doing is pushing the Patreon. I've got a graphic novel. We already walked the producer. That's pretty bad. That's why you don't do podcast with the sun up. Wimble dog.

It's out now. Cool. Hip is big. Wimble dog, dog, tennis graphic novel. It's going to be a movie. Do you know about this, Tom? No. I'd like to watch Tommy fight.

Did you, are you, is this an idea before hitting the fucking pen? I wrote a script. You wrote a script for a feature film There was not interest for it. So we're making it into a graphic novel It's coming out now one page at a time on the patreon. Who'd you ask your neighbors? No, I just literally Shane said that sounds like a good idea and I wrote and I gave it to him I said now the lead character is you And he and he took it and he bumped it in a bin. I don't believe trash. I don't believe

he ever read Wimble Dog. So now we're drawing Wimble Dog. And he said I could use his likeness so it looks a lot like. You want to see some Wimble Dog? Yeah. All right. Hold on. I'll show you. I'm very excited. I've got it. Hold on. Come back with Wimble Dog. So this is a, it's a great idea for a children's book Well winning Wimbledon. Yes. Well, I don't want to jump the gun or anything. Okay, no spoilers for Spoilers for a Wimbledog, but it's a little bit it's less for children. The way for Jackie Fallon to come back in You are you are Jimmy Fallon You're Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Fallon that you're the next late-night host. Have you thought about James? Is that why you're doing this? Yeah, you gotta pay for the patreon

Wimbledon dude, he just drew Shane. It's just Peter bit good drawn. It he's a man in Tulsa Shout out Peter He's great guy. Mm-hmm. You can swipe. There's more They go to Japan. It's a little girl and her dog is playing tennis. So this is like full animation. Well he's drawing it like a storyboard. Who is he? Peter Bidgood, the artist who's making it. This is great. He's done a very good job. Wimble dog, out now. So this is a comic. Yeah, it's a graphic novel comic. But I want to make it a live-action movie. Yeah, a graphic novel comic. But I want to make it a live action movie.

This is nuts, dude. This is crazy. I think for $100 million we could make the hit of the summer. So what, just CGI a dog beating all these fat guys? I would like a real dog. So that's $50 million in your budget.

Training this fucking dog. Probably three dogs. Some of the moves might endanger the dog. That's why you go to Japan. There's Japs. They know how to train their dogs. The Ijyuma, or what's it called? They still have them fight. You know, the dogs still have respectability in Japan. They still get to go out and throw down. This is my hope for turning all around. You ever see the dogs that lay down next to their owner as they're dead?

And will stay with them until you find them? I've heard of these dogs. They'll take them to the church to bury them, lays right next to the casket, and then when they bury the guy, he'll just lay on the ground until he dies. That's what you want in a woman. You don't want to flute around. You want her to die with you. When you're about to die, you whisper, you better not sleep with anyone, you pig. As a Japanese man who loses to Wimbledog, and if you look in the bottom frame...

It's not a Japanese man, it's two round. Have a look down the bottom, you can see what he's doing. After he loses to Wimbledog... He puts a sword in his belly. I didn't get that part yet. Oh, I'm sorry. I like it man, I'm happy that it's finally come to fruition. I don't know how to promote Wimbledog. This is the best option I see. Oh, I'm sorry. I like it, man. I'm happy that it's finally come to fruition.

I don't know how to promote Wimble Dog. This is the best option I have. Right now. Yeah. Yeah. So you put a lot of work into this dude. Well, I just wrote it. Somebody else is putting a lot of work into it now.

Yeah, but you're paying someone to animate this crazy high idea you've had. You can't be poor in this country. I've seen what happens to you if you're poor in this country. It's a big fucking problem. What's the idea you've had? You can't be poor in this country. I've seen what happens to you if you're poor in this country. It's a big fucking problem. What's the difference in Australia? The government takes care of you and you get heaps of money for doing nothing. We do that.

You sit on your bum. We do that here. How much is unemployment benefits here? I bet it's... Enough to do nothing. Yeah. And that's too much. You want to cut benefits in America?

100%. What else? What's the incentive? You ever watch the show Intervention? If your mom keeps giving you the basement to shoot heroin, you're never gonna stop doing heroin. You know what you do? You give them a lawn mower. Cut half of their incentive. Go cut lawns. Go fucking shovel snow. I agree. I don't really believe this, but it's a good idea. You can't give them all the things.

They're not gonna change. Why would they? We used to call that work for the dole. It didn't last very long because then we had to have people in the give them all the things. They're not going to change. Why would they? We just got to work for the Dole. It didn't last very long because then we had to have people in the Dole in the workplace. And they, you know, they're not up to it. Are you talking about like, are schizophrenics like mental health? Yes. Oh, okay. Well, that's different. But also just lazy people who spend a lot of time on Madden.

Yeah. Like me. Yeah. 20 minutes. I'm going to get back into it. I'm going to make the Steelers a good team. Yeah. I tried general manager mode. You just come in and I made the stadium nice And I'll tell you what every game and I told you this you were almost going to the Super Bowl

Hmm hate to bring it up again But if you came to the Super Bowl you'd put those Steelers into the bin with this fucking movie script and you'd be a birds fan That's all it would have taken. Let's just see the birds dominate. Yeah. They are so great. The apparent best team in the league and fist them for four straight fucking quarters. I think there's something you have to be a Philly man to understand. The birds have no diaspora. There's almost no one who's not from Philadelphia. That's not true. Who loves the birds? That's not true anymore. South Jersey. Yeah, Jersey, the surrounding areas. South area is the greater Philadelphia economic zone. But nowadays I feel like I'm seeing more just birds gear everywhere.

You win a super bowl. You're going to have some fucking Taiwanese kid in San Francisco rocking a birds jersey. And if you lose it, there's going to be some African African T-shirts. I had an embarrassing birds moment. I was backstage at a show. This was this week and there was a big black guy with a bird's hoodie on. And I said, you have to do with it. Well, because I was big.

That means he played football and he earned it. I thought he was a football player. Yeah. And I said, I won that Super Bowl. He went, yes, we did. And then we keep talking. And it took about 30 minutes for me to realize he was a fan of just a fan and not a man who had actually helped to win the Super ball.

It's like, as a kid, any tall black kid, you're like, do you play basketball? You shouldn't be asking questions like this. It's just a huge waste of talent. It's not a muscle. It's really nice. It was I think just big Jay Oakeson's friend. Yeah. Great guy.

Anytime I see a big black dude, I just go, you know what I would have done with that fucking size that you didn't? You know, then I walk backwards, spin and run. You could have been a, they're a little white, uh, baseball men. Yeah. Tommy was a baseball man. Yeah, I was a baseball man, but it takes... Tommy was a baseball man.

Dude, my best friend, my best friend Koucha sent me a video of his son. He was drafted by the Red Sox. Oh shit. And his son is like nine. Holy shit, his swing is insane. It gets you excited. It got me excited because he's going to get high school offers just based on that little clip. I mean hands in, weight back, gone. See ya.

I got into Babe Ruth this week. I got a lot of Babe Ruth stuff. I didn't know about Babe Ruth. Not like an attractive swing. It's a much heavier bat. And he also starts walking forward, like before the ball is thrown, and all his weight is going into it.

But the way he ran, like a... Yeah, like he was falling. Like a weird fat gay guy. Yeah. He ran like he tripped before first base and then just kept going. Tottering a lot. Like a top, like a three year old. Learn to run.

The great Bambino. They said he loved the ladies. Yeah. They had a P private detectives follow him around when he was in like Buffalo or something and I said, they said six women in one night. Yeah. And he said he wouldn't give him up That was his one thing. He said I'll give up the drink

I'll go to bed early, but not for you not for 50,000 not for $250,000 will I give up the girls? Yeah, and it's like he's not a handsome dude It was not a good-looking. I will break out with my girl right now if you give me that speech one more time And that's in the 30s Billions of Yeah. It's a gladiator type speech. He put a curse on Boston. I don't think he consciously did. Boston traded him in 1918 to the Yankees and then they never won a World Series championship. 100 years was something. Yeah, it was 90... close. Right? It was right before Philly won?

I don't remember but yeah, he fucked them up. Right? I forget. I don't remember. We have Don Bradman. He's our equivalent of like the greatest batsman who ever lived. Who was a cricket player? Cricket guy. Unpleasant man. But, uh, you know, like his legendary stories about his dad would send him outside to a

corrugated iron fence with a stick, like a one, with stumps. It was like a very small stick and just say, hit a tennis ball against that corrugated iron fence for six hours. And then he grew up from this trauma to become an aunt like the best yeah it's a tiger wood syndrome your dad beats the fuck out of you mentally physically I don't have the I can't make my son great no I don't have the discipline now let him do what he wants let him dress like this and play the piano have to you you'll have a better relationship later in years but he won't be a great yes he

will you don't know that who were the greats whose dads were relaxed? True. I've actually never met a person that was interesting that wasn't beaten or abused by their parents. In some way. Yeah. I can't even fuck with you. Because they're so boring. You have two nice parents. Yeah. You're worthless. I'm making boring children.

Maybe that's my problem. You got nice parents? They're together? Yeah, they're together. You're the child of a loving marriage. that's my problem. You got nice parents? They together? Yeah, they're together. You're the child of a loving marriage. That's, yeah. Yeah. That's a tough weight to carry.

As a comedian, that's rough. Yeah. I mean, I don't have any complaints. You should be a positive comedian. My parents split up and my career went, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I wish they were back together.

Anyway, the important thing. You don't have one traumatic story about your parents? I mean, I wish that back together anyway. The important thing you don't have one traumatic story about your parents. I mean, I'm sure I have some. I'd rather not share that. I'm sure I know I have some, but I'd rather share them to you in private and not to. It's funny. Get off your chest. It's all part of the podcast.

He has the respect. I know they have a loving union. So he has the respect of the parents. I think the problem. Say that. What's that? This episode is brought to you by Chubbies. As I stated in the actual episode itself, these are Chubbies.

I'm going to stand up embarrassingly again. There they are. Five and a half inch. Show them off. They're really nice. Very comfortable. I kind of want some. You want the Chubs?

I want a Chub. You got to earn the Chubs. These are the, I don't know what they call them, the casuals. And they also sent, they also sent me, I got, I got real aggressive and I went four inch inseam for the bathing suit. That's crazy. I have some like that too though, yeah. Chris, as soon as we got the, we had to order,

he's like, I knew you were going to pick four. It's that's so sick. Get the balls hanging out. This is a public service announcement from your thighs, my thighs. They've been trapped in pants and ignored all winter long. They are pale, but they are still powerful. And they're. You see this ad-rate is already kicking off, dude. This is better than the pod.

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h e l p.com slash stuff island to get 10% off. But your first month. Hell yeah. It's a good deal. It's a big savings. Act now while the offer still stands. Keep all those in. You have a loving union with your parents so you respect them. I respect them.

I respect our privacy. But I think the other thing I think about constantly when I podcast is that my parents are like in their late fifties. So they're still getting, they still see me on podcast. So I try to be a little bit more. You're a young, you're what? How old are you? 28. 28. You just turned 28 a few days. My dad's 60. He just turned 60. And my mom's in her late fifties. Oh, 32. Yeah, that makes sense. And my mom's in her late 50s. Oh, at 32.

That makes sense. Are you the youngest? I'm the oldest. The oldest? Yeah. They started at 32. Yeah. Back then?

Yeah, I guess so. Wow. Dust it off the eggs. I never thought about that, you know. Yeah, that's ancient. Yeah, thank goodness they did. My little pink-lipped mom started at like 23. I like to keep things close to my

heart about my family too. No I'm kidding. Have you seen the young pope? No. There was a bit about orphans. The new pope is alright. There is a new pope. How do you feel about Leo? I love him. He's bringing back Latin masses I think. He's dead serious. He's a very religious man. I know that's why I asked. He's dead serious. He's a very religious man. I know that's why I asked. He might be a center-right pope. Center-right. Yeah, we've been waiting for a center-right pope.

Because we've had center-lefts. You gotta switch it up. We had medium-lefts for sure. That whole fucking business of the church, they're having war room meetings about who's next and what they're gonna believe. It's like the government here. It's all facade. Well, can we get these little monkeys to believe? I don't think they're around with church. He wasn't meant to be the guy. He wasn't on any of the lists. Exactly. Yeah. They didn't know. As they do. That's awesome. He's young. He

went to Villanova. People from Philadelphia are going bananas acting like he's from Delco. Yeah, but he's from Chicago. Of course he is. The white, he's a Southsider. Yeah. But from a nice suburb in the Southside. Is he the youngest? Or the first American born? The youngest in a while. First American born. Youngest since John Paul II. So it's been a while. Yeah. It's been a minute. Do you remember, do you know about that mystic that said, I think either he or the last pope would be the final pope? Yeah. Who is that mystic? I remember he has a funny name. There's a couple. maybe saying maybe and there's also like apparently a

wall where they put up the pictures in the Vatican and like with him it's the last spot on the wall yeah they say this spooky that yeah one last true Dominic I don't believe it types are saying this will be our final and that's why they got the young one maybe Maybe so hopefully by the end of times. They're saying it might be the end of times. So you know, crazy people from centuries ago. Okay, there's gonna be some dude putting up another one in that list. I know, but it's we fucked up.

I like thinking about that kind of stuff. Yeah, of course. I was in such a good mood this month. I thought I hope it's not the end of course. I was in such a good mood this month. I thought, I hope it's not the end of time. I used to think, bring it on, and go. And now I think, I could keep going for a little bit longer. What was that? Just a nice setter looking into your baby's eyes?

I think it was probably the sun. The sun was out. Went to a pool. Had a good sandwich. Perfect weather. Yeah. Ate a nice meal. Do you have a Jersey beach house? I don't know, but we used to rent one every once in a pool. Yeah, it was perfect weather. Yeah. Had a nice meal. Do you have a Jersey beach house?

I don't know, but we used to rent one every once in a while. We'd go to Belmar. Yeah, we're thinking about getting a house. For a week. I think about this all the time. With the boys. Yeah. Where? Which beach? I miss New Jersey so much. Wildwood's cheap. But like Sea Isle, Ocean City, New Jersey. I'm looking at Texas beaches and they're not. Ew. Galveston with that dirty ass water. Galveston looks like a dirty ass water. I think Corpus Christi is a three and a half out. Corpus Christi looks fine.

That dirty ass water. I got so close to just booking tickets to a third world country. No, no. I thought I'll take this family to Panama. Yeah, yeah. Get myself a hat. You look like a missionary. Wouldn't I be a good ex-pat in Panama?

Yes, you would. He'd be a great good ex-pat in Panama? You would. You'd be a great bartender in Panama. You should make up fake war stories about Australia and how many men you've killed. Just put a dangling ear necklace on. I don't like to talk about it. Speaking that dialect that you have. We're talking money over fist, dude.

But Panamanian money. Yeah, we're talking Babe Ruth style pussy too. Just six a day. No, it's too many. Slinging my ties. I'm going to say this. It's too many.

Six a day. Six a day. I don't know what he was. I don't know how he had the energy to play baseball. I wonder if they had dick pills back then. No wonder he had to run funny. His penis was sore, dude. Just slapping against all those. I mean, all the women in Buffalo look like Babe Ruth. So he was probably hammering these fucking these bores from the back.

Oh, there's a Dustin Hoffman line where he's like, man, the only way I could get with nine was three threes. No, he stayed with me. And then he was me too, making women uncomfortable. Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman was me too? It's time to bring back some of these older men who got me too, who aren't working out. Dustin Hoffman, he could come back. The cause is too far. It's too difficult.

There's been a lot of... If you're getting me too at that age, imagine what he was doing when he was 25, 30, 5, 40. There's a lot of arguments right now online that I do not agree with, but there's a lot of argument, there's a meme going around right now that's like talking about how everyone, all the ladies are ugly in Hollywood right now. Like the last of us girl and a few other examples that I can't remember. They say we need to bring back. Average looking humans.

Harvey Weinstein to get the that woman who is in the prostitute movie. Anora. Anora. She's an attractive woman. She's an interesting looking woman. She's attractive to me. Sydney Sweeney is a very conventional. There are examples.

She's mostly blizzamy. Yeah, big jammers. Throw some A's on Sydney. And you look at her dead eyes, you're like, she's cute. She's still a but then then fucking high sitting jigglers and you're like, she is a star baby. We're all toddlers. High sitting jigglers is a good name for special. We're all toddlers. It's all about the tits. It's like on hats. That's where the grading system starts. The face is perfect, right?

It could be perfect. You're like, that's, that's nice. And then you just keep moving down. But the jiggler never had a huge movie career. She had the best boozies. Her generation, Christina Hendricks. So I'm saying that right. Yeah.

A terrible actress. Was she a bad actress? Yeah. Hmm. She was okay in drive. She just had to look scared. Yeah. There's not a lot of dialogue in Drive. It's all fear. That's her line in Drive. I love Drive. Yeah. Drive is so good. I need to see a good movie or I'm gonna go insane. Put some tits on him.

Gosling? Yeah. I can see him doing that. Done! He's on the phone. He's on the phone. I think he's talking to my wife. I wish there were... You've gone to wife very quickly. I said it for you that time. Yeah. Yeah.

My wife. I got this ring from... It's from 1922 Birmingham. You got your silver ring? Oh my gosh. Huh? Yeah. Because the place that...

That's fucking awesome. Isn't it nice? Which Birmingham? Alabama or... No, no. In. England. Can I see? Wow. Birmingham. Could be a Peaky Blinder ring. Isn't that pretty? So there's like certain prints that they make on the inside that tells you the location, the date. Yeah. This is CC. And that's their ring. That was like personal. It's on the back end. Yeah, that's

where I got my oh that would have had like a shield on it like someone's yeah I'm gonna get it engraved just gonna say JM for James McCann these hold their value huh I guess rings it's been around since 1922 it's pure it's not pure gold it's 18 I used to be a badminton player. A baseball man. What do you lose buying and selling a ring? Yeah. What's the deal?

No, I think it's all vintage. It's a vintage shop. So if I start pouring my money into rings, I'm not actually losing any money if I still have the rings. You don't have the time for it. My net worth remains the same. No, because you buy a car. The car is worthless.

If you buy gold, yeah. If you buy gold. I think it's a rich woman's play game. No, because you buy a car. If you buy gold, yeah. If you buy gold. I think it's a rich woman's play game. People that own vintage shops and they travel. She goes to England three times a year and she has like surveyors and people like contacts that go through old sales of mansions and then she'll purchase rings and an estate sale and then bump the price.

Yeah, she runs a shop. Oh, you got a lady runs a shop? Your lady. No, no, no, the woman that we're friends with. Oh, yes. Or wouldn't it be nice to run a little shop though? Isn't it great? She's so happy. You dream of running, I dream of running a sandwich business.

I got to talk to Joda Rosa. You want to start a sandwich business? I want to run a sandwich business that only sells one sandwich. And we're going to do, you've got too many people doing sandwich shows on look a dish but yeah you have one you have a totalitarian themed sandwich shop you know and ladies like socialism type shit maybe the other one is it spam maybe a hard right type sandwich shop okay but yeah okay okay fascist sandwich you take soup nazi and you take it to his logical sandwich conclusion. They make all the sandwiches at the start of the day.

Yeah. People come in, you have to pay with card. I'd see it. Now you got to go. One sandwich. You can cash on it. Yeah. I like that.

You want to start a podcast and then start a sandwich. Sandwich shows a big part of the podcast. Yeah. It's one of the businesses that I'm doing. That's how I'm a businessman. Describe your ideal sandwich. What's your ideal sandwich? I've had a couple of thoughts about it,

but it might be as simple as pickle. You start with pickle. You start with the protein. Pickle. It's the protein. Or probably a roast beef. That's not bad actually. Bring back the roast beef.

Yeah, beefy. Just go that roast beef, garlic mayonnaise, a pickle. Pretty much good to go from there. You can have a cheese. Provolone. Yeah, you think this is one of a kind? Everyone's going to go to your sandwich shop for this? I think you roast beef dip.

The decor. You don't think Mr. Arby's going to be upset about this? I think no one is doing. Or everyone in the North doing the beef whacking. I think no one is doing fast food with attitude. You used to go to McDonald's. All right. You used to go to McDonald's.

I feel like the blacks are doing that. Hold on. No, no, a chain. A franchise. A franchise. Alright, he's got a McDonald's. I feel like the blacks are doing that Franchise you know cuz you got a you got a you got a Burger King now. It's like a Soviet office block It's gray. It's upsetting you've had a little narrative a little pizzazz a little bit of rigor a little bit of yeah This is this again. This is like the son of a billion or a tyranny the son of a billionaire has ideas like this Yes, it's the same woman that runs a vintage fucking, they got no time on their hands, but all the money. They're like, we're gonna make a jazzy fast food shop.

And the dad's like, this is another $50 million. One day this idea, it's one of those, dad, you don't believe in me. Except it's just the Patreon will be funding this if I can get people in to subscribe to Patreon, read Wimble Dog. Wimble Dog. Take that money, build a sandwich shop.

It's a sandwich shop, pipeline. It's a franchise. Franchise, of course. Yeah. But here's the thing, if you have one sandwich a day, you can, you have a different sandwich on what's cheap. You can keep the price the same, fluctuate with the market. No? You know, some days are beef are cheaper.

Some days, uh, chicken. Yeah. Fluctuate with the market. No, you know, some days a beef for cheaper. Some days, uh, chicken. Yeah. It was fluctuate with the market. I hate it. I hate it. You're not seeing the jumpsuits that the women are wearing. We're talking. I almost red lipstick, but impassive women, cold, beautiful women. No, it's not Sonic. They've already, they got some more suits over there. Think of this, when you talk to me, think of it like a pitch at Netflix. Here's what else I'm seeing.

Cause right now you're fucking sinking. You have a dictator, right? No dictator, you're Mr. Sandwich, whatever his name is. A big Soviet style painting behind there. Oh, okay. With lights. So you're doing symbolism. I'm selling people the authoritarian experience.

The shop is called No Choices. I'm thinking North Korea. Everything's... Yes, I'm thinking more North Korea. Yeah. But... Do it that style. Gray and disgusting and cold. But here's the market.

It's lunchtime. You got all these office workers. They're sad. Their life is... Hell. Give them a little theatrical... Give them a rude woman. Yeah. Oh, yeah okay so they're

rude I think I should be rude oh this is like throw your peanut shells on the floor type shit yeah yeah what does that mean there been in those places where they just it's like called dicks oh and the people are cunts to you I once went to that old Irish bar in Manhattan the oldest Irish bar in Manhattan yeah well they're just actually that's actually That's actually not their... Oh, like the one with salt dust all over the floor. We call it Karen's. We have Karen's. Oh, right. I remember we talked about this. It's a diner. Dick's last resort. Yeah, they kind of have that. That's it. They're mean to you. They want to go there. They're mean to you as a joke. They purposely are mean to you. So they'd walk up like, nice suit. Yeah. I mean, like this place rules. I'm thinking that. Yeah. I mean like this place rules. I'm thinking that. Yeah.

Did I ever tell you my joke about, well my idea about Dick's Last Resort? No, I bet you're about to tell me though. Yeah, well if you want, but if not I'll keep it to myself. No, I really want to hear it. It's just you know, if I ever decide that I've had enough in this lifetime, you know, and I do kind of want to go out on a fun little whim, I'll go to Dick's last resort and they'll write like you know a mean thing on my hat and then as soon as they put out just into the silly paper hat. You gotta wear a fun hat that's filled with confetti. Yeah and now the jokes on that. I like that. Yeah so your explosion actually has a celebration. Yeah I want to kill myself at

Dick's last resort if I do ever kill myself, which I won't, but. Yeah. You have party poppers tied to the trigger. That's a great idea, thank you. So the streamers go off as the bullet is entering the head. It's the ultimate Dick's last resort. Yeah, that would be my last resort. You go in there and say, my name's Richard.

Yeah. You come up with a party hat, blow your fucking brains out all over the ceiling. They say like, I'm a school shooter, or a virgin or something on my hat. And then I go, oh man, that's really funny. I think if you do it like that, you'll, I, you have to, yeah. They say people that are hesitant to kill themselves.

You should never go under because your hesitancy brings your me just right off. Shoot your job. Roger Ebert lost his jaw. Yeah. No, it was cancer. Oh, shoot your jaw and nose. That's how Roger Ebert lost his jewel. Yeah. No, that was cancer. That's what I thought.

It was while he was 20. Do you know about how Vincent Gallo gave him cancer? I've talked about this so many times. No! What? Mouth party? Mouth party? HPV?

No, no, no. That's how, what's his face got it? From eating out at Soham Hague or whatever? Oh yeah, it's not Richard Gere. He had a hamster in his buckle. The other one, the other hot guy eating his wife's pussy. Got the throat cancer. Catherine Zeta Jones. I remember the pussy but I don't remember the man.

I'll take it. In the 90s, give me throat cancer. I'd have that dog on all fours. I'd be doing it from the back. Flip her over when her knees were tired. Slurping it from the soul. It's incredible that this is beating Jimmy Kimmel. This is burying Jimmy Kimmel. This is pairing.

If Jimmy Kimmel did stuff like this, the race would be through the roof. Did you see Kamala Harris when she went on Stephen Colbert to have a beer? No. I think that was the moment she lost the election for me. That's when I knew it was over. She couldn't comfortably have a beer.

The one with the bob cut, and she acted like she was cool, and she tried to pop a beer and didn't know how to open it. She was like, oh, I'm just a regular American. Yeah, tall. She was like... Elizabeth Warren? Yes. Remember when she was trying to be normal, pop up the cap off a beer in her kitchen in her giant glorious second kitchen. That little pig. It might have been Nancy. I remember Nancy going through her kitchen trying all giant glorious second kitchen. A little pig. I've been Nancy.

I remember Nancy going through her kitchen, showing all the snacks. Nancy Reagan, Pelosi, Pelosi, both beautiful ladies. Her snacks. There you go. Pop the top off those fat bags. What are the Dems gonna, let's turn this into the five. Yeah, sorry. What are the Democrats going to do?

I've got nothing. Yeah, no. Do you find that weird? No, they got it. It's a, they're in a rebuild. I've never seen America to the brown a rebuild goes so quiet for so long sometimes you get stuck at the bottom right back no sure now what's what have you got coming up what are your two dates nothing I'm kind of just relaxing for now I'm going out with Matt for a while

he's shooting a special I'm opening for that I'm excited for that. So good. Yeah that's exciting but no I'm just working on dates of my own still. Tell me when are you shooting your special? When are you shooting your special? Man I'd like to spend the next year creating it. You only need four bits. I know. James. I got one that I love. No, I mean, I don't have to make it 18 minutes.

I just mean all of his bits are 20 minutes long. Yeah, they're like 10 to 15. Yeah, that's actually two of them are 10 to 15. And I'd like to splice in some older stuff that I like and have to rework. But it would take a lot of... So next year I'm going to go on tour. Yeah. And then at the end of the year, I'm going to splice in some older stuff that I like and have to rework. But it would take a lot of, so next year I'm going to go on tour. Yeah. And then at the end of the year, I'm going to record something.

Nice. How are you going to, you solo too? Yeah. Like this. Yeah. I need to spread my wings. What merch are you going to have? What's your merch going to be?

My merch? Yeah. Just let me touch you. I don't sell anything. I just sell my stuff. But you're going to lose money on that. No, I bet. I bet. I bet. That's true. I see the ladies after the show. I bet I feel very unhappy.

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That's www.drinktrade.com slash stuff island to get your free cold brew maker with select cold brew subscriptions. That's www.drinktrade.com slash stuff island. Get a free cold brew culber maker come on just go get it now before this act now now now let's get back to the show typically elbows so it doesn't get too weird which is really feel your elbows huh 25 it's a 35 bucks ever I. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I see. Yeah. And I close my... I put a blindfold on and I just... I guess your weight.

That's 50. There's no one else in Austin getting those noises out of ladies. It's weird. What? The noises you get out of the ladies at the show. Oh, I remember you talking about this. It's like a post-laugh, little sigh, little, ooh. Little charm goes a long way. Also, I went back and I watched the episode, this first Stuff Island I was on.

I saw a clip of it. Yeah, was it good? We were all so young. Yeah. It's been a big year. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. I saw you from when you, it was like three years ago when you were on the Saskatchewan. I saw a look at this from like two years ago and I looked five years younger. I think you from when you, it was like three years ago when you were on the sketch show.

I saw a look at this from like two years ago and I looked five years younger. I think that's what got me into it is I watched the Philly cheesesteak from, uh, that just came out. Babies. But in Astoria. Babies. You've gone Silver Fox. You weren't a Silver Fox. They say there's two, uh, and I'll f*****g defend myself on this. They say there's two, two big aging years in human existence. 45 and 60.

45 is when you start to show aging and then 60 again. Well, you got 10 years of this. This is working. I think you're better now than you were then. I agree. Looking good. We're all looking great. We're all looking alright. We're all starting to rob each other. Yeah, we're all looking great. We're all looking alright. We just all started rubbing each other.

Yeah, we're all looking good. It's for the page. You're 28. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm losing my glorious charm though. Yeah. I'm going to have to pick you up and put you on a shelf. But can go one of two ways. You can start getting looking, you can look cool dad at some point.

He's already a cool dad. You are. You've made it to cool. I think you're going to make it to cool dad. Cause the other way from young hipster is that sort of that guy who used to do the photographs for American Apparel. Yeah. Who had the create? Yeah. Who the heck is that the guy who owned American Apparel that got not owned. He was the head photographer that got out it. Yeah, me too for taking pictures. It was one of the first one was one of the first big me. Yeah, he was the then you looked at a picture of him. You go. Yeah, of course. Of course. He was from the pedo glasses and not an entirely unironic. Yeah. He would hire like 16 year olds and get them to get naked and take like their

own, his own. It was very important for American apparel. So yeah, that's why it's LA apparel. Now they sold it. It's called LA power. It's also, it's also the blanks for all our merch. Really? Yeah.

Cause we support the turn. We're trying to be clean. He get away from that 16 year old puss. Get, get, get porn stars to where they're leotard. That was a big style moment. Yeah. Disappeared. Yeah.

That's so sexually important. Starts taking off. You start getting some fucking stars or porn stars to wear your shit. You got to start with high quality. So they're very easy to get porn stars to, they'd be so keen to have a little legitimate, they're so big. There's going to be like 150 grand for me to put your shirt on for one show It's all money, dude. They're not wearing your fleece Wouldn't you yearn if you were a porn star to have a little little moment of normalcy?

Your photograph I don't think they're capable of it. Like a schizophrenic has no idea shit in his mitt every day. They're not capable of being normal. Yeah, they're fucking frontal lobes. Gavin McKenna's articles where he said we've got a big problem and it's women who haven't been raped are starting to do pornography. Yeah, there's no business for them to do. Yeah, of course there's no business for anyone doing pornography, but saying, middle-class girl doing porn is, Yeah. It's like a happy person doing comedy. I don't know what happened. Unless you're abused, you got no, no place to stand.

Then the man who wrote that article went on to found a paramilitary organization and disappeared. So we can see where that thinking lies. It's not a Nazi sandwich shop. Yeah, it is. You said it. It's more of a North Korean in a Western style. Yeah. Okay. That's the same with less blood.

North Korea fusion, culturally. It's what that Pepsi symbol is all about. Okay. On the South Korean flag. You ever see the South Korean flag? Yeah. Pepsi. Spun differently.

I need the Olympics to come along again. I've got nothing to really I thought I was that wake for every day I thought it was a yin and yang's marrying. I'm more of a coca-cola guy Straight coke. Yeah, yeah eating that belly. I'm a sexual cuck Yeah, it's it's a yeah. That's probably why my stomach hurts all the time to is my soda intake How many is this real're just drinking soda? Yeah, I drink soda. Every day you have Coca-Cola. Yep.

That's insane. Some people are blessed with that metabolism. Yeah, we tell you it's going to be five. Yeah, that's why I have to probably stop soon. Nah, if you gain weight, you'll just get a big gut and you'll still have your tiny legs. Your head for diabetic body. Yeah. How many, like we tell it two liter a day?

No, no, not like a can with soda, with dinner I mean. A 20 ounce. With supper. No, like a can of Coke with supper. Yeah. I do it at the club. I can't, I turn up at the club and there's free Coca-Cola. No, I have soda.

I'm a big soda guy. I grew up on soda. I can't, I can't show it. Yeah, everybody grows up on soda. Not anymore. Then they grow up. You don't just crack a can of Coke with a steak. I do't I can't everybody grows up on soda then they grow up more you know just crack a can of coke with a steak I do I like it yeah fuck it's tasty wine lovely red wine I'm gonna become a sophisticated man yes powerful

red wine excuse me for the rest of the podcast I'm gonna do them what your Your shades? Throw them on over. Let me see those specs. I'm sorry I was so negative about it before James. I like it. Whoa. That was in a bad mood and now that I've cheered up I like it. Tommy's IQ is, you like Groucho Marx. Yeah you do look like a Marx brother. I could see North Korea with these fucking things in the head what a power I get hit in the head I was hitting they I fell on my head as a child I got a big scar I fell on my head too actually when I was a kid I fell down the stairs and through the drywall at the bottom of the stairs

that's great you get a scar you have to have any surgery no no no surgery I was just scared I didn't really get cut too bad. You got a big skull for your height. Thank you. Yeah. It's a big fucking head. Yeah, I know. Just throwing it through drywalls at five year old.

I was trying to, yeah, I don't know. You ever get in sleeping bags and just go, right down and right through the wall? Yeah, yeah. That's what we did. Exactly. We never even heard of this. And you jump in a laundry basket? Just get tossed.

That's what I did. It's the working man's toboggan laundry basket, just get tossed. That's what I did. It's the working man's toboggan. Yeah, that's it. That's all we had. My parents had that paper thin fake wood that's like this thin. And it looks like a wooden wall. But you threw the wall. Oh yeah, so our whole basement was that. And by the time I was the youngest, by the time I was like 8, it was just all exposed brick.

We ripped up every single piece playing sports and there was a standalone toilet Next to a water heater like a prison toilet and then my part about these it's a big it's a big Pennsylvania thing Yeah, the toilet in the middle of the basement. No, it was it was enclosed at some point But we just blew through all the walls. I was like fuck you. You're gonna break it again I'm not gonna spend money. Were you a teenage wall hitter? Yeah. You couldn't. You strike me as a teenage wall.

Oh, a puncher. Yeah. Yeah. I was a big puncher in the outfield. I punched the ground after something happened. I'd punch the bench coming off the football field. When you see it, when you see a teammate doing that, when I'm watching the footy and there's a man punching the ground hard after a loss, I think,

man, it gets, thank you for doing that for the team. It gets rid of all of the angst and anger yeah because your body feels the reverberation and you don't have to feel it yourself. It's like yelling the like somebody got I said this in Buffalo like yelling the N-word when your doors are closed and it just gets caught in the lining. I thought you said the L-word. Instead of saying that you hit something and you lose all that anger. It's like when you want to hit your girl, you blow on the horn, scares her, you get it out too.

No. You got to feel something bad. During COVID, one time when we were locked up for like three months and I raised my finger at her, I said, you listen. I said, you. She was saying, there's a lot of black mold in this apartment and we never get to leave. I said, listen.

And she's never forgotten that I, the finger went up. The finger went and she said, you were trying to be threatening. And I said, you get one more finger and I'm out. Honey, we were going insane. I went out and I cycled for three hours a day. Just rode the bike. I miss it so much. But that was it. That was the most violent I've been to a lady I think is. Oh, I apologize to this day for the finger coming.

That was a good thing. That's a good relationship. What about your kids? How do you do they don't have to be raised? Yeah, They're different. They're different. You give the, uh, no, they, you know, sometimes, no, it would never. In theory, I'm a spanker, but it's never felt right. Cause it's usually they're tired or they're sad or I've fucked up some way, like taking everyone out on a road trip and then they're happy. I don't, I'm angry at myself. Yeah.

The anger has to go somewhere. It can go in or it can go out. Exactly. That's why we have, well, no one no one say this. That's why there's a suicide epidemic is that men have stopped beating, you know, getting into bar fights and hitting their wives and children. Yeah. So they kill themselves. There's no more men. That could be it.

I think we're gonna look at that. There's your sandwich shop idea. There's the twist. There's a backyard area where men can fist fight. Get yourself a sandwich. It's the movie Fight Club. It's a fight club where you can get your sandwich to go. You gotta fight for it. Fight for your sandwich. And the winner gets it free.

The loser has to pay. You go home all bruised to your wife, but now you're happy. Sorry about how I've been acting. The mill's been a brutal mess. I think I might just need to join a boxing gym. You could join a boxing gym. You could join a boxing gym. You could join a boxing gym. You'd be hilarious wearing boxing gloves.

No, no, a bare knuckle. Like this? Yeah. Yeah, like that. That's you. That's your style. If you got really good at that and there was a bar fight and you start doing that, right? Which must be the best.

That's the gloveless way to do it. That must be the best way to do it. Yeah. So then that people are laughing and you're like, you should wrap them twice. Who was the first boxer that's the gloveless way to do it. That must be the best way to do it. So then that people are laughing at you. Yeah. Just rap them twice. Who was the first boxer that just went, what are we doing?

And start, was it Dempsey? I think it was Gloves. Just started knocking somebody out. I think if you're bare knuckle, this is still, I mean they have bare knuckle leagues now, have they returned to this? I love this. Have you seen the bare knuckle leagues?

They're fucking unbelievable. Makes me so unhappy when the women are doing the bare knuckle. I have to watch the women fight in the UFC. It's the best. No, get ready. It's a domestic violence simulator. And they're also, if you sit down, have you seen live UFC? Yeah, we were together. I don't think we saw the prelims that time. I went to another one where we sat down early and watched the women fight. Was it with you? We were there the whole time when we were together. And no one's seen it yet.

And we were down low behind the fighters. And the ladies. It was like Shane meeting Trump the first time. Yeah, yeah, I was there for that one. And you can hear the pads hit their fucking heads. Because no one's in the ring. Or no one's in the stadium. So the sound just reverberates and you can go, you can hear them squirming.

It's great. I could, I can't. They're warriors. They would fuck us all up. That's why I was watching it. And I said to this lady there, and I said, I don't like these, these women's friends. She was like a feminist.

She was like, it's good. They've chosen to be there. And you're like, I don't know. A lot of women choose to be in marriages with men. I think it brings down our guard for, we should be repulsed by seeing a woman with a broken nose. That's bad. When a man hurts another man, that's beautiful.

Yeah. That's right. That's the right thing for that man. The Australian who just won, who you wrote to me about. Jack Delamettoli. No nose at all. Yeah. I just smashed.

Voldemort looking. Really? Yeah, he's awesome. He's the man. Yeah. New welterweight champion of the world. It's just sideways? It's just no, they take the cartilage out. So it's just like. the man. Yeah new welterweight champion of the world. It's just sideways. It's just no they take the cartilage out

So it's just like yeah, it's just vault. It's like the bone is still there, but nostrils the there's no Structure to the tip. Well, how do you usually burn the cartilage doing drugs? Yeah, but if you break it enough I think they just end up removing it cuz there's no blood flow. It doesn't connect and burns off Yeah, just it's just oh my god gone. So they just end up removing it. Because there's no blood flow, it doesn't connect and burns off? Yeah, it's just... Oh my God! The race is gone, so they just mush. Maybe he's not that good of a boxer, everyone's just scared shitless there in his ugly face.

He's got a tremendous chin. He's getting wild, he's leading with the nose. Yeah. It's like when you lose your eyesight, your ears get better. He probably lost his nose and his chin. He's dead, devil. Pristine. Somebody cut my dick off so I'm the greatest fighter of all time. I want to finish this Doggleton or whatever the fuck it is.

Doggleton. Well guys. Well. That feels right doesn't it? Yeah. That feels right. 52 minutes. Yeah I got to do ads.

Yeah some ads. I got to get in the car we're doing T3. Oh shit. Patreon. Nice. We've been done it months. Look at that. You've come out come out you've found that I mean after this man came up with that I remember you didn't love it at first. Yeah, you were so mad at me. You wish death upon me You said you're gonna shit. I did I got angry. I got very angry I was like who I texted Shane because I always know when Shane or some fucking

I was like, I texted Shane. Because I always know when Shane or some fucking... says something on their podcast, because I'll get under Stuff Island, I'll get a new nickname and I go right to Shane. What was this? What's this about? What'd you say this time? And he goes, I swear to God, it wasn't me. I didn't say anything. And he's like, it's not bad. It's a good one. It's a good one.

And it took me like a month punching drywall to go, you know what? It's not bad. I've got to own it. I've got to own it. And it could be worse. That's a dice one. You know, that is a nice one. Well, I hope you like the new name that I'm bringing out. You can use that. Well, I got a gay Tommy. That's one for you. That's automatic. What's your No, I don't want to hear. No, I can get I think I know what the one for me is and I'm trying to Leave slice Jimbo slice is great Come on, that's good. It's a new me

I gave you I gave you Gizmo is a little fucking a little red-haired. Did I come out with Meany Gardini who came out with Meany? God, that Riff actually. Oh, it was Riff. But I, you know, I like that one too. He was someone close to me. I have a couple. I have Gardiva, I have Gardemon, I have Meanie Gardini.

Yeah. Well that's what the Gardemon is off of. It's like the gizmo. After midnight, you can't feed the fucking, what do you call them? The gremlin. The mogwai. The mogwai. The what?

The band? The mogwai. Do you ever see the gremlins? No. You can't put gremlins? No. You can't put them in the bathtub after midnight or they start giving birth to demons? Yeah. Magwai's are what gremlins are before they turn into gremlins. Yeah. I never watched the movie Gremlins.

And he's a Magwai until midnight comes. He's a little gizmo, the cute little redhead. And he turns into a fucking gremlin. Once you've hit that, once you've hit the whiskey and the green one. Gizmo Gardini. Suddenly. Yeah. The negativity.

I'm trying to better myself. I believe that you were a roast comic. Someone told me that you were a top roast battle. I was a roast. Yeah. I bet you fucking drove people to do terrible acts of self-harm. I've never really got it. You got a gift.

You fight you right between the ribs. No, that's not true. Mean man. McCain. I wish I could be I can't do I can't do a roast. I go to how I got a banana phone. I just made this mistake the first time. The banana phone. Do you know that? Yeah, I heard about the creek. Yeah, it's um, Jack Timmons and Ridley and all those guys They did it's just a heckle mic basically. Yeah, that's great. It's awesome Every Sunday, but it shot out Antonio Brown. Oh, yeah, dude I got a du pod since that's come out. No, I didn't talk about it the last time we did yeah

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't out yet. Oh man. That's cool, but he was the best dude He didn't say shit, but he's wearing a military hat. Yeah, he's wearing like a fucking army helmet He walked in Tony texted me like as he does it like 330. He's available tonight, and I was like yes And he was like you're going with Antonio Brown I just laughed and I was like seriously who am I with and he's like No, Antonio Brown. I was like. And I was like, seriously, who am I on with? And he's like, no, Antonio Brown. I was like, Shane's not in town. He's like, no, I'm like, fuck, dude. And then he walks in the green room, dressed like he's dressed. And he go, yo, where the weed at? And I was like, I'm fucked.

Like, I am fucked. Then he got blitzed. He's drinking Baileys. Everybody thinks he was a white Russian. He's drinking two and a half percent Baileys. Like a Christmas mom. He drank a gallon That's the dream, but his smile gets you man. He's got the most charming smile I said you're so kind and nice. He was the sweetest dude Sometimes I worry about him because of his internet presence, but I think it's real to find out It's just not him. I don't think it's like a post about that the other day. Yes is pretty controversial Considering how often he tweets the n-word apparently it's just a post about that the other day, which is pretty controversial considering how often he tweets the n-word Apparently, it's just a group of yeah

Kids from Harvard get it all out but and so when I see those posts I worry I go man his brain much You know must be much seems like a Kanye West like case study where he's like, you know what? I'm gonna hire It seems like a Kanye West like case study where he's like, you know what? I'm going to hire privileged private school white kids that really want to say the N word to run my Twitter. Right. And they do a pretty good job at Antonio Brown's doing really good. Kanye just put up a video and it's the most awesome, but with the red curtain, it's the most beautiful shot I've ever seen.

Cinematically beautiful. I haven't seen this. Is this HH? Yeah, this is post HH. Oh beautiful. I haven't seen this. Is this HH? Yeah. This is post HH. Oh no, I haven't seen that one. I saw the HH. It's him giving like a speech and there's a huge red curtain and there's

bright white light behind it. And then he says, we can all go to sleep now. Like he's just finishing a meeting with people. It's like, but he is, and he starts by sadly he starts by reading an English translation of an Adolf Hitler speech. But then it's, I mean, he really knows how to frame a shot. He does. He knows how to write a hit song. Yeah. I mean this H.H. song. Yeah. He spares no dollars in cinematography. It's just, it's, I was, I was off the bandwagon. I thought the last album was bad. I thought finally the drugs. Yeah.

And I'm free to not like Kanye's work anymore. Having long since thought the man had some issues. I can go, well, the work is bad. He's come roaring back. It's a great song. It's a great song. You know, I gotta listen to it. I've only seen clips of it. Oh, Sean. It's well done. Anyway, that'll do it. Plugs. Wimble dog. Yeah. It's out now on the James Northwood, we can't get a Moran plan.

Patreon. Wait, it's out? It's coming out one day at a time. Okay. One page per day. That's great. I was on tour and also I got a new book of palms coming out. It's called.

I haven't decided on the title yet. Yeah. Wimble poem. New album coming out. I'm a businessman sandwich shop. Yeah No wonder you can fall asleep in two drinks. What have you got? Nothing. I'm pretty much just chilling. I like that. Just get it. You can follow me on Instagram and I'll post my shows there Thank you. If you came to Philly, thank you. I love you. Thank you Tom. Yeah. Thanks for stopping by guys

I love you. I love what you happy somewhere. I say this, thanks for stopping by, guys. I love you both. My pleasure. I love you too, man. Let's be happy somewhere else. I just want to say this before it's over. Chris's house is, we're in Chris's house. Yeah. We miss you, Chris.

We miss Chris. And also, this house is unbelievable. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. I'm so sad that I go back to my house now. I'm going to buy an antique on the way home. This is the house you rent when you want to write a book of poems. Yeah, that's a good point.

I've read most of my poems on it. Your house is nice too too though. No, this is. Don't get down on your house. No, no, it's just the decor He's put things up on the walls. Well, he hasn't I'm sure this is his work. Yeah Yeah, these would all be in a pile in the corner. It's what you lose when you have children is just nice stuff I mean your house as well. Godini's house. Have you seen God Danny's house? I don't know if you've ever been Tom. Beautiful. With the same place in South Joe's, South... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You've been there. There multiple times. I gave you my lawnmower. So nicely. I picked it up though. Yeah. Now he's got a camera on that lawnmower.

Go to sleep James. All right. Thanks. Love you. Goodbye. God bless. Sub to Look At Dish on YouTube. We're dropping once a week on Thursdays, old episodes and new episodes here and there. Our production value is going to increase.