Stuff Island - James McCann - Stuff Island #232

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

James McCann joins Stuff Island this week! James is currently on a stand up comedy tour in America so go get tickets to see him live Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope  #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Logs, was it a dish? I don't know. I'm glad I get to do this. How long are you in town for? Wait. Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow. I didn't say dish.

I didn't say dish. Pull the mic towards you so you can hear your crunch because you're starving and didn't eat because you thought I was going to feed you today. I know. And that's fucking nuts. You see the message I wrote to you, I said, can I bring hardcore demo to a dish? I saw that.

I didn't know that was... If you said dish, that's why I was saying, well, if it's a dish, I got this guy, could be funny. Oh. Damn. I got to imagine that James is right on this one. Only because I had to guess. It was so close to doing DISH before I had to leave. I left you a voicemail.

This is what's not going to be logged. I left you a voicemail. And they have this new function where you can pick up. right? You start leaving a voicemail you can go answer it and go,

hello that's what he did hello, Tommy and I was like Jack I've got it I was just leaving in a voicemail

and Jamesy boy this is Tommy Pope sorry I missed your call took me a while to get back to you I was in Philly little birdie

told me you're back in town do you want to do look a dish I can't play that loud enough for anyone else to hear but that is what he's saying you didn't didn't see him.

Put it on speaker. Hold on. No, then it cuts off. I cut you off away. Yeah, but put it on speaker. Right, this phone is not good enough

to have the speaker. How are we to believe you then? Wait, you didn't see him the night that... I saw him last night. I confirmed we were doing... Nobody owes me. No.

Nobody owes me a meal. And I would have come on. You don't have to lie to me about there being a meal. I would have come on anyway. Oh, fuck. I would have, but where did that drink come from?

That looks good. I might order that. Yeah, you want some of this? What is it? No, Come on. Get some sugar in you. It's a marguerite.

Oh, really? Mm-hmm. No, no, no, no. You want it? Of course, I want it. Give it to him. Well, just a little. Oh, a little sick.

Yeah. And then I'm ready to go. You got a margarita? To go? Thank you. It was fitting him for a fucking suit. Like, sitting there sober while this guy's getting fucking dressed?

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, you got to stay focused. Oh, my God. Look at that fucking. Jesus. Sorry. It's a good.

No, there's a lot of ice at the bottom there. There's, misleading. It wasn't a huge, it wasn't it. It wasn't huge. Totally mislead. I, well,

all of this is misleading. It's so nice to be back. Good to say. It's been months. I didn't know. So I thought you were going to be here for like a few weeks.

I go, look, let's get a stuff in. Let's get a look at this in. No. I fucked up. I didn't know it's going to be look at dish. I got six weeks in the country

and I'm doing shows everywhere. Fuck you. So you're never going to be back here. I think I'll come back in December, but that's, I got, my family had to go. They insisted.

Yeah, how's life? Are you back in Australia? I'm back in Australia. We got... Fuck yeah. We're gonna make a movie. We got a low-budget film money. Nice.

It's gonna be real bad, but who knows? No, that's fun as fuck. Can you get him one? No, no. He's hungry. Well, maybe. Is Margarita in a can? Is it a movie that you wrote?

Or did you get the money and then you were like, fuck it? No, I wrote one. I wrote one. Nice. But I don't think anyone... It's weird. getting money for a movie. I don't know that people necessarily read the script. Sometimes they do. But some of the people giving money, I'm pretty sure, thank you, did not read the script.

Yeah, that's nice. They just like you. Yeah, yeah. But it's also all my life, I thought you have to write a great script. And, um, I tell you, you. I don't know. It's anyone that that's happened to. I don't know anyone who's had a book taken on spec. Yeah. I don't know anyone who's had a script board on spec. I think, I think the film side of things is different now. It's just all numbers. if you ever reach they're just like, give them a million dollars to make some dog shit thinking their fans are going to watch.

That's what I want to make to make money. Chinese horror movie. Chinese horror movie. Chinese horror movie. Like old movie? Western imperialism is the real. And they pay in cash. They pay good money. The age is paying cash. They've got so much more.

Hondo's. John Nunn. I used to live with John Nunn and Bushwick. I slept on his couch for the first couple months I came in in New York. And he would just He'd pull his fingers out of his tight jeans and little tiny balls of wrapped $100 bills, like little candies on Christmas. And he got that.

And I'd have to stare at him knowing I was poor and going, I could take this fucking guy. I could take three to $500 off his table. Hey. He won't know. I'm proud of you for not doing that. Yeah, yeah. I didn't. I'm proud of myself.

That's why I'm bringing it up. We're moving forward. I'm a hero. I'm the hero of this story. This is actually a movie that someone would buy without reading. Yeah, just a short film. How much of a fucking whore? Short film about you staring.

it trumpled up $100 bills. I've been thinking about writing a movie for Tommy. I shouldn't say this. I haven't seriously considering. What is it? I don't know. I don't know. I want to write a Tommy view.

I already like it. Tommy Man. It's the sequel to Tommy Boy. Tommy Man. No, I don't know yet, but I think you've got great range. We were on set for the medieval show. You're a top professional. You give them lots of options.

You learn your lines. I couldn't do that. I don't think I did. I think I learned. You learn enough of it, and then you just float. I think you've got the gift. Get the vibe. Look, there we've got a couple top acting celebrity men in the room.

Leading sitcom stars, ties through his wraps. No, he's a leader. I'm a tertiary character as a while. I'm not even, I don't even get a walk on. Three seasons I've been here for. No one's getting here. How are you not in fucking tires? We can have an Australian customer.

Not one time. It's fine. It's fine. I'm not a good actor. This is more about your country not letting you come back. It's sort of letting me come back. Something weird happened. I attacked people who ran comedy festivals in Australia

on the Joe Rogan experience like three days ago. And then the next day, the head of the Melbourne Comedy Festival resigned. No. I don't think it was me doing it. I think she must have had that plan. But it was very, I'm getting a lot of texts from people going, you've done it!

I don't want to take a blame for that. I just... What did you say? The gate keep me. promote, you know, the wrong people. Yeah. That's it. You know, just classic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just making terrible choices all over the place. Yeah. I'm surprised they're still running comedy festivals. I feel like most of the... A lot of them run in Australia on government money, and I think they're getting smaller and worse. I think it's, uh, as a business model.

And also it's so... The fringe festivals where people like are paying to show up and do it. Yeah. It's like, people talk shit on Kill Tony and they're like, all these schizophrenic men show up and live in their car at the shot at stardom. All right. But imagine that. that, but $20,000 minimum people losing.

That's what a fringe festival is. They're no less schizophrenic. To perform? To perform? You've got to buy your way in. You've got to pay your rental. You've got to pay your advertising. You're going to pay the fees to the festival.

And then you only get the money people have coming in. Yeah. It's, and the number of people who are deluded, including myself for years. Yeah. Year after year of delusion. We were just talking like this in the car going like the hell that you have to live as a comedian. Yeah. If you're not a little bit successful, this is like.

the worst life. Yes. The worst life you can encourage me. It's true. You're talking about personal relationships, family, dude, friends.

You're just drifting off into these little fucking coqued ends and yapping about nothing while the games playing on a fucking television. You go, babe,

I kill you an athlete. We haven't been close. Dude, I was talking about it this weekend. Three years. I have a second boyfriend. because you suck because you're chasing this fucking dream. It's not true. I was talking about this weekend that like I just got health insurance so I like went to the doctor.

I haven't been to the doctor. Yeah, 20 years. Since my mom was going with me. Yeah. So I don't know how to operate on my own. At least you're taller. Dude, it doesn't help. When I walk in there, I shrink even small.

I shrink back down to just 10 years old. This thing about men not going to the doctor and we don't know how to, you know, we die younger because we don't get things looked down. Yeah. I'm starting to, there are things that are happening inside of me that I'm afraid of and I'm afraid to even talk to.

They sent me, I went for the, you know, I'm doing diarrhea, whatever, I don't get a detail. Yeah. But I go in and they go,

here's four tests. I did one of the tests. And I have never even found out what the answers were to that test. Yeah. I just left the country. But they said, do these four tests.

And I went, I do one of them. Dude, I went in there. I can't bring myself to do it. I went in there to get a mold checked out and they looked at it and they were like, yeah,

we'll cut it off. for eight minutes. They cut it off me and then they called me three days later and they're like, yeah, it's fine. Good.

It's like, what the fuck? No, I agree with this. I, but get them all off my fucking party. I don't know, but my mom would be like,

my mom would be like, do that one, don't do that one. And I don't even know when it's based on. You don't need that shit. No, dude,

I literally felt like I was like trying to represent myself in court. It was like, it was literally like, like it felt like there should have been like a side bar where someone asked me to like

wave my rights. Yeah. Are you sure you're calling the judge my man? You're my man, my man, hold on, hold on, hold on. It's your honor. And also stop doing that. You might need a, I'm thinking about personal. You know, you watch a show and the man has a secretary.

Yeah. And it's not that, you know, you want power over someone. It's not they want a young woman to do. It's, I'm really not going to be able to respond to all those messages. I'm not even going to read them. Yeah. I'm going to forget. Yeah.

If I have a fine, I'm not going to pay it. My wife, we have the children. My wife is not going to help her with that. And I am never going to do it. I'm never going to get better. People say, just get better. I am now putting myself in the category of disabled. Yes.

You know, a disabled person would need a carer. Yeah. I need to get my taxes done on time. Not that they're not being done beautifully. I need help. I want to do the right thing by all these. I got a speeding ticket. I want to pay it.

Yeah. Where is it? I don't know. I try and call. They don't talk. But I owe you $85. Yes. Talk to me.

Texas does a shit where you get on this one, this one highway where they have to, they just give you the, the ticket. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. And then he goes, you'll get something in the mail, go pay online. It's $2.17. $2.17.

You go to the website, websites down. Can't pay online. Call. Yeah. It's all fucking, it's a facade. It's all a ruse. Yeah. But then it, and you leave it five months, six months.

Dude. $3.48. I believe. I paid on one travel day. You can get a tag. You can go and buy something for your car to make that work so you don't have a problem. Who's going to do that? I mean, how long have you lived here?

You haven't done that? You haven't got a toll tag? Right. You got a toll tag? No. You've been living in for years. I know. I finally got an easy pass, but it doesn't work here.

Someone should just take. I got a diaper, but I'm wearing it up here. We all have, listen, we all have, we all have, managers. Everyone has an agent. Everyone gets a manager. People need I think group assistant buying. People going halvesies in an assistant.

Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Here's the thing. Court appointed mom. Assist me. Yes. Give me a court mommy. People that do this correctly and they're successful making money, traveling the world and doing funnies.

You need an assistant. You need a manager. You need an agent. you pay these people, but they don't have the same mindset that you have because we're fucked up. Well, that's the whole thing. It's like you can take care of it yourself. You just have to drain all of the fun out of your life. When have you ever taken care of something? I don't.

I'm starting to do it. I'm starting to stop drinking for a week. I start taking care of shit. Of what? And then all my friends are like, what are you guys. Say something crazy. What?

It's not good crazy. I went to the doctor. You went to the doctor. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I got, I got appointment for my driver's license. Guess what? I fucking figured out my health. I got my health insurance fix.

But you can do a wake of that a year. You can do a mad sprint for that. Yeah. All my taxes. Also, you're disrespecting me and our company. Because if you go sober for a week, respond to my text. I do. Call me back.

Set something up. You don't go to your doctor first. You're fine. You don't go to doctor for 25 years. Watch what happens. Watch what happens. Oh, yeah? You're going to be a fucking.

I'm going to be very unpleasant. And I'm going to be absolutely no fun. As opposed to what? They'll be, there'll be, there'll be, there'll be, there'll be, there'll be, there'll be, on that calendar that you wouldn't believe. Like what? Just everything. Yeah.

Give me one example. I'm going to start booking some. I'm going to book you out. I'm going to book you out the wazoo. I'll come right now, dude. You don't think I'd be electric right now. Yes. I would have fed my friend.

It would be nice if we could do it. I would have fed my friend. This guy. This guy. I wouldn't say no to look at this right now. I'll be honest. He came here hungry. I fucked up.

I know. No, no. everyone's having a good time. As long as we end early enough that I can... Get some need. Get some need. I got to do the killing,

Kill Tony. Oh, you're going to kill Tony at night. Kill Tony. That would be fun. Well, it's sometimes it's... I enjoy the spectacle. I tell you what, Tony, Tony's a man who's...

I bet he's responding to the emails. He's got a team around him. Some people have an entourage and they're getting things... I mean, the Matt and Shane's universe. I thought when I saw it, it was like a big entourage, but I meet every...

It's like, gosh, people aren't getting up before noon. People can't. Everyone's a big team of people, a big mess together. You've got to force the numbers as you roll forward. I thought someone would be like filling out the paperwork or something. It's not. Anyway. I'm trying to.

Not one organized young woman in the posse. No. It's important. No, no, no. It's important. It's important. You too organized. Tony's done it.

Tony's got it. There's always a little man yet Tony going. I know. And do you need anything? Yeah. You know? And then that man, you know, there's a shelf life for these people. Tim Dillon always has a little man next to him.

Yeah. Guess what the... I need a little man. I'd like to get a little man. The connective tissue between these two men that you're speaking about. You're saying, gay. Gay. Is that what you're saying?

Fucking these men? I don't want to fuck that man. I want... You know what? Money. With Carl. You know where Homer gets the assistant called Carl, the man with a raspy voice? Yeah.

He builds him up and makes him feel good. Yeah. That's what I want. I want to find. I want to. Yeah. My wife was so good at this and then I just keep getting her pregnant and then she's always got a baby and, you know, there's, I accept that there's less time for me.

Yeah. You know, that's fine. That's what my grandmother was. It's hard. My grandfather dumped in her, his whole life, she had 12 kids. Her whole life was pregnant, getting over being pregnant, getting pregnant again. And that's why she was a miserable bitch. And maybe

You don't think she enjoyed her time with the children Well if you look at my mom's personality Why is she acting like this? You're one of 12? No, she was one of 12. She was one of 12. So why is my mom? How many are you?

How many are you of? Three. Twelve to three. And my father's one of nine. Yeah. It's all this old school mentality. It's the end of the... It's dwindling.

You go dump. You go dump. You go dump. You go dump. You go dump. You go dump. I like that. Yes, this is my philosophy.

Yeah. I like, I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying, what do you expect? What do you expect from the personality that's going to be fucking... It feels more real to me. What's that one movie where all the kids come home? And kill the mom?

No, no, no. They have like a grand old... They fight a little bit, but it's funny. The kids come on. Yeah, yeah. It's called like... Cheaping by the dozen. It might be cheaper by the...

It might be... Could it be... The outsiders? I think it might be cheaper by the dozen. Stand by me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they go on a trip. They come home in the end.

Goonies. Goonies. That's that one thing that kids come home. I think it's super bad. Lord of the Rings. He got the first guess. That's when they got the end

when the little people come home. Truly, Lord of the Rings. It's about coming home. Dude, I rewatched Lord of the Rings and that, man, it's fantastic. Golly, it's so good. It's really good. It's so good.

I hated it when I saw it in theaters. Did you? I hated it. Really? I absolutely hated it. I was like, this fucking thing just dragging on and on and on. I don't give a shit about any of these characters.

Oh my God. No one would ever choose Golm over Samwise. It's unbelievable. Samwise to Bray. Yeah. I would choose Godlom over Sam Walsh. I would rewatch it the extended cut. Amazing. I don't know how they cut anything out of it. Some of the Warkin. There's quite a lot of walking. The Warkin's good. I got it. I got it. I was yeah. I was excited. I think I've ever seen the extended cut. I just watched them on planes. I watched them. I watched the second one on a plane no longer. It's the only time I get to watch a movie now is the plane. Did you see Bagonia?

Yes, I did. I have some serious complaints. Yeah. Here's my big complaint about Bagonia. Let it rip. It's his highest budget movie. Yeah. And I like that director. Not all the pictures, but the lobster, really liked it. Lobster. I like Sacred Killing of a deer, too.

I mean, he's got, he's a talented man. But this is apparently his highest budget movie. Tens of millions of dollars they spent on this movie. 70% of the movie is in a basement. I know. I'm not calling shenanigans I'm not necessarily saying that someone is definitely lying

about how much money that movie cost to me because Emma Stone you know she's not pulling a big paycheck for that movie I mean how much you paint Starvros 15, 20, 30,000 like he's happy to be there he's happy to be there Yeah

How do you spend $30 million on a movie in a basement where you paint Emma Stone White The scene at the end It was just cheap CGI It was green screen It's fucking nonsense Yeah She got insurance on her hair

what's happening? I had big problems. I had big issues with the movie. I didn't like that the twist was very obvious. I know. You know it's, it has to happen. It has to. It's a terrible movie that doesn't happen. You're like, well, if the exact twist that is going to happen doesn't happen. This has been a big fucking waste of time.

Then I didn't quite understand what we said. Have you seen Begonia? No. I'm sorry, I wreck this. Everybody. That tweet, when at the end, he's got the bomb on him and he gets in and the head pop off. Yes. That's apparently just an accident. That's just like a little twist. I thought she was doing it to him,

but then it was kind of cloudy as to, had she killed him? Was that an accident? He's been a character in the movie. For 70, 80 minutes, we've been watching him. He's been vindicated. I know.

There's no positivity about him being vindicated. And then his head randomly pops off. I thought it was a bitter, nasty movie. I don't, I don't think that director likes people. There was no warmth. There was no optimism.

I, you know, and then at the end, with all the people who are just dead, just children, dead, just a lady in a bikini with a pussy hanging out dead. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

I was angry by the end. Yeah. Where, where, you know, there are a couple movies I watch where I go, not only did I not like that as a movie. Or maybe I even did like that as a movie. But I hate the, I actually, I think the director is anti-life. I remember the seventh continent where the family commits suicide and kills their daughter. Hanukkah, kill the director.

Are you saying, are you saying, my mom should be a director? Have you seen the seventh continent? I haven't seen the sentence. I'm told his later films were great. Anyway, we don't have to kill. The pianist is good. And a more... The piano teacher.

But sometimes, like a good movie can restore the soul. A good book can make you feel like, you know, I can get through the day. I can respond to those emails. I can look my children in the eye and tell them I love them. But when you make a movie or a novel or a fucking whatever and it's not life affirming and it's, it brings you down, you're compromising my whole day. My whole week. All right. This episode is brought to you by.

Squarespace, guys, you know it, you love it. I built my website on Squarespace. I know, I just asked you about it. Chris O'Connor.com. Check it out. Because I got to build mine now. Yeah. Ticket links and stuff are on there.

Yeah, yeah. It's the easiest thing to use in the world. I mean, they got all kinds of just, it's plug and play, really. You can move stuff around. You can change fonts. I just got a, we just got a suit for Josh for his wedding, right? Yeah.

It's kind of a plug-in-play. You want an expert. Someone that's already been there knows what the fuck they're doing with materials. You're saying that's what Squarespace is. Square space is exactly that. I want these color.

I want this design. And I want you to help me out. Yeah. I don't want to ask any questions. Yeah. Other than FaceTime and your wife. Just like you can make Josh look good in a suit. Yeah.

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Dot com slash stuff on. Yeah, I got, it makes me serious. And I was feeling the same thing. Sometimes he can get me there. Yeah. And sometimes I go, Fuck you. Fuck, you're unhappy.

You're trying to make me as unhappy as you are. Fuck you. Lift me up. Help me. You see this energy? Yeah. It's battling some real. That's the purpose.

And I disagree with everything you're saying. I think I like that. You love Samuel Baker. Yeah. I like sitting in the fucking muck Let me crawl out of a volcano that's about to erupt Because I want to feel an energy Because I don't want to start today

But I think what you're not true What you're saying is posture If I ask you if you're five favorite movies It's going to be like rocky It's not even close What do you like? Stand by name is up there That's life confirming

Yeah it's set my course for life But that's the thing you go into the darkness Okay I'm interested Yeah Godfather too Good fellas Really?

See, oh, you are that way then You are, I apologize Because for me, Godfather 2 I find The greatest movie of all time I'm a Godfather 1 man Not even close Godfather 2

Not even close He had to kill Frito Yeah He had to kill Frito Yeah, it's my boat I don't like that in the third one That he gets all sad And emotional about it

He had to get There was no choice But to kill Frito Isn't that great Doesn't that make you feel something The difficult choices I'd be in a fucking run down traveling comic

this is the gift that God gives us but that's the beauty he's cutting pieces of himself off he is something because if you live in the material world and you make the sensible choice you've got to kill your family I mean yeah yeah yeah that's why yeah he wanted to get out man yeah he went to get his daddy wanted him to get out his daddy wanted him free

in a material no I'm gonna cry thinking about it I know I know but his father thought they could shake it loose yeah he was a generation off feel something feel something that's not fucking grandiose.

But the whole reason he got into it was to save his family. He had to. He had no choice. I know. He had no choice. It's the most beautiful part. Damned if you don't.

You got to fucking, you got to cut a ward off your fucking neck. Some skin tag. All right. I got a sketch idea. Godfather one sketch idea. Yeah.

Where they're all at the table. They're all at the table, you know, talking to each other. And there's a guy just like randomly middle of the conversation goes, he's talking about black people. And he's like, we sell it to the collards. They're animals.

Let them lose their soul. Yeah. And everyone just moves on in the conversation. But the sketch would be he says that. And everyone like stops and turns and goes, what the fuck, man? You can't.

You're a, get that. Get out. We don't talk about black people that way and the mafia. This is our community. Also, have you never seen stuff? It's such a good.

I just watched it. That was the last round of the last, just before I left America, what I was doing. I was watching the Godfather. I watched The Godfather 2 for the first time. And then I went back. I can watch the first one again.

And then I bought The Godfather, the book. It may be the greatest. There's more in it about Sonny's huge dick than I thought there would be. And at the start, the opening scene is like a woman going, she always had a big pussy. And finally, she found a man with a dick big enough to fill it. Yeah. And he's like, he finally found a woman.

He didn't hurt when he had sex with her. And the wife is like happy that Sonny's not fucking her anymore because it's agony. Because his dick is so big. And then it's like, that's the boy who died, the one with a huge cock. Yeah, yeah. You massacre my boy in his big, big penis. I can't, yeah. That's so good.

But that almost seems like then he has to die. Anyone with a cock that big has got to go. The writing is on the wall. Yeah, you know what I mean? The cock was on the man. If you start a story off being like he had the biggest dick in the world, he's going to die. He's going to die. You can't just have everything go great for him.

It's like when we had the slower that. pig at that farm. Just eating too many of the, too much of the feed. We got to put a bullet in this cock sucker. It's important for everybody. You can't have them just constantly bailing Michael out with a huge cock. You ever see an animal killed life? I only my family dog.

Yeah, I saw a dog get hit. Yeah. But it didn't die instantly. Worse. Yeah. Jesus is the family dog in the day. I know what you mean is about like that. Also, did you take the dog to a clinic?

And they put a... And we all sat around the dog and they injected the dog and we held it. And then everyone else had a moment with the dog and I didn't. I just, I went out and I dug the hole.

That was my thing. But you never saw a cult come out of somebody's jeans and put a 45 into a pig's head? No. No, I don't do that. It's a radically different experience. I'm not opposed to that.

Yeah, that's fine. It's probably nicer than, I mean, I didn't really... We all had to... He had to, he died, you die, you know, I know it's hard. You shoot the dog, but... You don't shoot the dog.

People shoot the dog. People shoot the dog. dog people shoot the dog for sure shoot a dog oh yeller yeah I'm not into that I know nobody is but sometimes you got to do it dogs in pain you know same with a horse

I saw a horse fall on a race they break a fucking leg the tarp we call it up the curtain you call it here we call the tap yeah just a big fucking yeah it's 45 right to that fucking skull

let me say this on a side note wouldn't it be nice to own horses wouldn't it be nice to invest oh I think kill one of us. No, no, no, no. No, I'm trying to get away from the death and towards the... It's not my part.

The racehorse thing would be tough. I think I'd rather have like some workhorses. No. You know what I mean? Like some horses that you like are on your farm and like... You get a long horn in like Vietnam making rice patties. That kind of shit. To some like, sure.

Feed your family. It's got to be a reason. It comes back to three thoroughbred horses. There was a war where we fought the. Arabs. Well, I say we, I think we're the Austrian. It was one of those. It was like a crusade type endeavor.

Okay. But the, the Muslims were coming in and the Christians managed to stop them. And part of the war, they got, the Arabs had great horses. And we took like three horses and all thoroughbreds today come from just those three horses. And you can do the whole lineage, like for every thoroughbriac, you can go back to like 400 It's like Genghis Kong. They all have great names. That guy came in everything.

Really? I didn't know that. Oh, no, Wikipedia. They have Wikipedia pages and paintings. And you just go back through, you find a horse that you like. You go and see, you know, the horse that wins the Kentucky Derby, you find out about his daddy and his granddaddy and his great granddaddy and his great great granddaddy. That's what I've been doing.

Yeah. That's what I've been spending the time. I just want to be a part of the lineage. Well, that's what he's doing. That's why he's dumping his life. And then you, incest is a big part of it. So it's like cousin to cousin is a big thing. Incest in race horses is a bit.

big thing, but also hybrid vigor. It's when you bring in like a low breed, the horse and people are doing all, like, it's like dune. It's like breeding for the Messiah. It's like you're trying to bring forth a special new kind of a secretary. Wait, so to break up the incest,

they let him fuck a low horse everyone's want. Sometimes a low horse gets the call out. They're using more incest now because of course, it's like they're not as worried about. It's the same. Isn't it funny? It's the same with everything. Like,

I was going to say this. It's the same with everything, right? Like you find out about, I don't know, fucking wheat bicks boxes getting smaller. The quality of McDonald's is getting worse. They're taking shortcuts to get a result immediately, get the profit fast. It's happening with racehorses. But they're like, there's a certain amount of incest that you can do for long-term development. And someone's going, fuck it, fuck it, bring the incest in now.

Do it fast. Can't they genetically modify? I watched a documentary about a guy who made like the greatest camel of all time. and the Arabs were nuts Yeah For the Saudis Yeah It was a fucking amazing

Can't they just Like without the incest Can't they just I bet they are I bet they're doing all sorts of stuff It takes thousands of years This is not if you do it in a lab Yeah

They're trying to build a war horse Look at pugs Never works We made pugs happen at a wolves Seems like it's working I'm ready to stop breeding horses man I'm sorry you're hungry

Do you have some land at Is it obvious Do you have some land up I said that you probably liked Rocky. You'll never forgive me for that. You know what? You look, Rocky is one of my... Yeah, you look Rocky.

It's not like to define my personality. Let me tell you. It does define my personality. Rocky is one of my five favorite movies. Yeah, because you're in a fucking a rock, a billion miles away. Rocky? That's exciting for something like you.

The first diehard movie? Just good, simple. Yeah, diehard's great. Maybe men in black. Yeah. Men in black might make it into my five. Really? Yep.

And then Stalker by a time. Tarkovsky. Yeah. And then... Dude, the speech at the well Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Leave me alone.

Stalker's a good one. Oh, we'll talk about it. You'd like Stalker. Yeah? Yeah. Very slow. It's very slow, but it looks cool as fuck. And it's interesting as hell.

And the speech at the well. Dude, when he drops the stone... The telephone coming out of nowhere. It gets me. Anyway. Yeah. Begonia is not in my top five. I'll tell you that.

Begonia. And I thought Stavi was good enough. I thought he was, I loved it. I watched it for him. I wanted to support the boy. As the pedophile. I paid for it on Amazon. He's a pedophile?

He kind of plays a boy who might have been abusing another boy. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. And he's very compelling. I believed him in the role. It's a good acting. It's a good act.

Yes. Yeah. Totally off time. Yeah. It's hard to get him to that place. That's good. There was a softness to him that was really. Yeah.

It's not often seen. I mean, I wanted him to eat the cake, though. I wanted him to aggressively eat the cake. He was very happy to have the cake. Yeah. I don't know. I'm getting,

I've gotten fatter since I've only been away for four months and it's incredible. You both look very similar. Let me say, some other people have shifted in weight. Four months is just enough time to come back. So Shane got way thinner. Shane looks much better. Yeah.

Yeah. Matt is like, Matt continues his Jack's journey. Yeah. He takes it serious. There were a couple comics at the ship. I went, whoa. Yeah.

You can get that much fatter in four months? That's insane. Yeah. What happened? Are you all right? Dude, you got to change pretty aggrave. For me to even notice, you got to change pretty radically.

It's just like, it's going away and the coming back. It's like a time machine. I ran in the sun today. You look the same. I'm fatter. The beard's hiding it? Oh, yes.

I took my shirt off at the pool, and I forget who it was. It called me fat. I was, uh, might have been Goddini. It might have been Nate. It was Nate.

Nate's lost a little bit away. Nate called you fat? Nate said, Nate remarked at how much fatter I had become. And I didn't expect that from night. Do you know, it has a glass house type situation. Yeah.

Nane has three belly buttons because he's built like a bowling ball. Have you seen Nate swims? We don't have to go on in each time. He can't. It's really funny to actually not know how to swim. How racist can I get here? That's not, a what?

We're only at 30. minutes? Jesus Christ. Well, what else is that? All right. My watch is dead. You'll get married. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't run into Sadie at one time. Is she here? No, she's in Arizona. She's been gone for three months. Yeah, yeah. Did she know that I've left? I think she's dead.

She sent me a text. She sent me a text like, because I went, it's my last gig in Austin when I added one more gig. She went, are you leaving? And I realized you guys have been away. Yeah. And she may not have even known that I had already left. Yeah.

Yeah, we were ready for so long. I don't do a goodbye party. No one shouldn't do a good bye party. No. Unless you're coming back. I don't know how I'm going to make it happen. I got this family. I can't move my wife back to Austin.

I don't think she'll do it. I'm trying to figure it all out. I love Adelaide. I love home. Blood and soil. Blood and true. Yeah. How good it feels to get back home?

Is that where you're thinking about the horses? I can't buy a house. Yeah, but I mean, are you renting a place? I'm renting a place. I'm renting a yard. We have a little other kids can run around and play. Yeah. I had to send my kids to school for the first time.

We were homeschooling before then, but now they're at a school. That's devastating. I wanted them to go to a big fancy school, rich guy school, sit around a table, Socratic Method school. No,

they're in a public school. It's a good public school's good. Yeah, yeah. Public school's good. The trans things finally tuckered itself out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it ever truly got rolling. Why?

Was it rocking and rolling in Australia? Oh, yeah. No, it was ever, it was happening. It's tired. At that age? Like young kids are just trans? Eight, nine years old. That's when people start out.

Jesus Christ. It's not good. Lord's name, but absolutely we should ask for his help. In Australia? Everywhere, man. There was a law in Victoria that if your kids were trans and you as a parent wanted to stop them, they could take your kids.

And like the only time that law was ever used was like some refugee family. So some refugee, this is what I heard. Some refugee family came to Melbourne and they got a trans. They've come over from some war-torn Syria or something. Yeah. And their daughters. like, I'm a boy now. And they go, please, don't do this.

You're not, that's not all you are. The government took her away. Yeah. To be like, we're going to give her the testosterone she needs. It's, oh my God. And then who did they live with? I've got to be honest, I stopped following the story pretty quickly. It made me unhappy.

I guess, I guess, special trans orphanage. The confusion of- Pretty high suicide right in that orphanage, I'll be honest. The confusion of a child, that age. If you just laid out two outfits, they'd be like, I don't know. Yeah.

You put one Superman outfit, one dress, yeah, one skateboard. The kid would be like, I know, I'm fucking eight. I got a My Little Pony when I was a kid.

That wasn't good. I had a care bear. Yeah. That's nothing wrong with that. I had a care bear. I know, but it's... I did Teddy Ruxpin. Not everything has to be a GI job.

I think we got a board and what it is to be. I asked my mom for, and my mom got me a little pony and my dad saw it and was like, He fucked it. What's happening here? Just jacking off coming in the main. You're spinning that watch.

You're just really... Let's move on, past. No, it's tough. It's tough because there was a phase. There was a phase. It's really stressing me out. No, that is stuff that drives me nuts. Excuse me.

I just remember like sitting there with birthday cake Birthday cake and a My Little Pony going I don't want to talk about this. Even at that age I was like This isn't good. I'm not happy my dad seeing this. Yeah. You want a big pony. Yeah, you want a big pony. Maybe I wanted a real pony.

Yeah, I wanted to know what was cowboy. It was more of a cowboy thing. Right, right. I want to be like a gunslinger. Well, you could change the My Little Pony until like a fucking Arabian horse. It was like a light blue hybrid pony with a

beautiful. Hybrid vigor I'm really obsessed with hybrid vigor I'm glad we're doing this one instead of the day I like doing this one This is a very nice podcast to come on They're not all nice You know

I've gone on so many podcasts And this one always has a nice five I think I did my best work on You like stuff island I like stuff island Yeah Then I see all the other people come I see you getting new people coming through

And I think you know It makes me feel It's nice Yeah sure But I'm away And I'm away And I see Nick Murphy Get to come on over and over again

Yeah Oh, okay. Well, we got a voice. Nick Murphy doesn't call me. Nick Murphy doesn't say hi. He was all so nice when I was leaving. Doesn't call when I'm back in town. Also, I think we did because it goes right to green.

I wasn't using WhatsApp. I reached out to you. It went right to fucking. I apologize. I changed my... You didn't tell us how to get holding. I wasn't responding well. Yeah.

Yeah, did you change numbers? I've gotten the number back, but I just took the sim out and I'm on prepaid. So I never filled that up. I'm sorry. I wrote you a note. No. Yes, I did. I wrote you an actual letter, and I rolled it up, and I put it into an empty mezcal bottle.

I drove to Galveston. I can't have it. And I threw it into the sea. So then it could come around to the horn of Africa? I said, this is the only shot I have of you respond to me. I'm sorry. Because you're a real piece of shit that didn't tell us how to get a hold of you once you left. Instagram. Yeah, Instagram.

Oh. Instagram. I didn't think about that. Well, none of us are friends on. I'm not friends with anyone on Facebook. that I've seen. I mean, sometimes I check it out and I still message it,

but really the only people you message your Facebook is I have to have known you for about seven years before you make it onto my Facebook message. No, delete Facebook immediately. That was like one of the biggest things. I'm just realizing you must have,

you must all have Facebook. No, that was like 12 years ago since I logged in. I'm going to do it. I still have it. I still pop through every once in a while. Dean, what you do? You just see what's going on. Yeah.

On the wall or do you look at your messages? There's got to be three years. I don't look at the messages. Sometimes I, it's like, sometimes I try to find an old photo. And I'm like, maybe it's on Facebook. Yeah. And I'll scroll through it.

It's not there. Yeah, just you with Drexle across. Yeah, yeah. Just something like that. Yeah. I'm doing it now. There was a, yeah, there was like a sick photo that someone took of, uh, I've only got your fan page.

I've only got your fan page. I don't have a fan page. Oh, there's another Chris O'Connor from Pennsylvania? Yeah. There's a fan page? It's a very generic name. It's not a, you know someone who's set up a fake? You tell me what's happening on this page right now on Facebook.

Oh, that's me. That's not a fan. That's just me. Is that you at the improv? No, this is, I don't know where this is. So you have a fan page? No, it's not a fan page. It's just me.

I don't know what it, you know, Facebook like morphs. It does. It just used to, it was, it's whatever my profile was. was it's literally the picture on there is like me and Shane and McCusker they're like at a Notre Dame game from forever ago I can't find I can't find it yeah Facebook is a fucking mess it's crazy you used to have all your photos and the things you were tagged in now it's like I don't even know how to find that shit all your old albums he's use it for marketplace that's it I go by furniture that's wonderful my girl does that that's how we get some some nice

furniture but when I left Facebook it truly was like an uplift in my life when I was like I can't I can't read all these ants opinions oh yeah yeah well it's a total cesspool yeah it's like it's like it's literally all fake articles whenever I go on there like the actual like the feed is all completely fake articles it'll be a a picture of an eagles player that doesn't exist yeah and it'll be like oh my god the eagles just this guy just did something yeah you're like it's totally fake. Yeah. And I get that and Notre Dame,

oh, this player, like, I can't believe this player died. It's so sad. And he played last year. And then you'll click on it. It's like totally fake. And all the comments under her, like, this is fake.

But it's getting pumped to you. Sometimes when I'm deep in my cups, you know, when I've had a great deal to drink, I think I'm going to get free of all the technology. Yeah. I figure it out. And I'm just going to live it.

And, you know, these emotional breakthroughs that happen when I'm drinking now, they feel so good at the time. And I can really see, like, a world in which I unlock all my anxieties, all my sexual hangups and whatever. I transcend them in that moment. Then I wake up the next morning. It's all back. Start over.

Everything's bad. Yeah, start over. I was an idiot. Yeah. I hope I didn't write to it. You know, I hope I didn't, yeah. Everybody didn't attack anybody. I don't, you were always a cunt.

You know, whatever. Yeah. Isn't that fun? No, it's, I think. I have to stop the drink. Yeah? I think my epiphanies have started coming when I'm drunk

rather than when I've spent a long time being quiet and thinking. It's not a long-term solution. Yes. I want all of my important, like, developments in my character that come exclusively from having a lot of alcohol coursing through my veins.

It doesn't seem like I'm making the right developmental choices. That's the balance. That's the balance of creativity where it goes, look, if I take a substance, whether it's alcohol, weed, coke, or something, you unlock something in your brain. That's true. That allows a door to open in the creative sense. And you go, never thought about that.

That's fun. I feel lighthearted. Sometimes that's a, that's the Lululu. That's a, yeah, yeah. Of course. Because you go, sometimes it's good. Especially the next morning. All the doors are locked.

It's like you're fighting for your life. Yeah. I've been so anxious and saying. that when I wake up hungover now, I'm relieved. Yes. Because I have something real to feel bad about. You have a reason. Just feeling bad and it's not attached to anything in particular.

It's like, it's basically like cutting. Yeah. It is. It is. What it is is, is putting your hand through a wall. Yeah. As a fella? Yeah.

You want to feel something. Yeah. You go, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I would strike out in high school. That's a real problem. I'd strike out in high school baseball.

I go in the center field and I would punch the ground in front of the seminary where the priest's sleep they were in center field and I would turn my back to home plate and I would punch the ground that feels something to get back to fucking normal. Yeah. That's insane. No, that's being a man.

Tommy, that's being a man. That's insane. It's what being a man is all about. Right. Well, this is the same, it's the same argument I'm saying right now going, have a few beers. Open up your creative skull. Take a bump. Maybe you'll think something. It's about, but one has

use it. One has to you can't just have the breakthroughs and do nothing. You've got to cultivate it. Two drinks. You're right in that

little fucking zone. You're opening up enough of the fucking I agree. It's a little time off and then coming back. Yeah. It's all balanced.

But once we had this fourth kid and mercy me and the buildup to having this fourth child I am, I would never go to you just cut at the end of this to the better help

conversion. I would never go to therapy. Well, congrats. But alcohol is helpful instead. But the pressure is great. And I also understand what people don't. You got to start dumping raw.

It's time to start dumping raw. Dump and you got a girlfriend. Dump and dad. He's getting married next two weeks. No. He's getting married two weeks. Congratulations. Are you going to start dumping raw?

Yeah. He's dumping raw. You're doing really well. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. I just, I want, I think I'm not watching. Yeah.

I think I'm not calculating. Josh is on the airways, dude. Yeah. You've got the world. ethic. He's on the airways. I'm proud of you. Yeah.

You're tied to this rocket ship. This is the one I most like, I'm so glad we get to do this podcast. I always feel better on this podcast. Isn't it fun? Then the podcast ends and I go. Check in, see how we're doing. Like, things aren't so bad. Well, have you been here?

No, no, it's not true. Well, you never, I mean. Stopping by here, yeah. You're, it's good. There was, you were both in New York, and that made sense because you were there all the time. Yeah. And now, then you both move here, and then you're always going. on some you went on some eight months cat burial adventure and I don't judge anybody for that but I

was watching that going I you know there's another leg to the trip this is incredible yeah yeah I think if my father died I would I would not be able to have that kind of time I was proud of you for getting to do it you went on this beautiful event and there were lakes yeah yeah and there were sunsets yeah and I thought the emotional stress of all of that dude yeah I yeah I But then you go and make a top sitcom, and then you get to be in that sometimes? Exactly. And I get to be in everything else all the time? Hey, you're, you've both got a real gift.

I'm right in the movie. I'm writing the stuff on. Can we order you something to eat? No, no, no. I'm sorry that I am hungry and I'm going off the other end. But I think you've both got, you've both got a real gift. I'm glad. I'm glad the cat death hit me as hard as it did.

I was happy to get to see the jokes about the cat death. evolve of the time. I was there when you would come back and it would be. Still no ending to that. No ending to the cat death me? No. Well, you know,

I was trying to do it this weekend. I ran aground. What do you mean? Like it hits you? It's got like a bunch of funny parts and then I'm just like, man, the cat's dead. You're just kind of stuck in a dead cat?

On stage? Or emotional? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, on stage. Oh, okay. I was just kind of stuck in a dead cat space. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah.

Where it feels so good and you go, you get to the end and you go, I've got about 40% of something there. Yeah. 80% of something. It's like, but I should never have started talking if I didn't have an ending. I know. Yeah. See, you have an ending to every story.

You have these long bits that have a huge payoff. And then you stretch them way out. I start talking and I can get it all built up. And then I feel like I've betrayed the audience because I don't have anything to say at the end. Yeah. Well, I think the difficulty of a cat death is like, nobody cares. If they haven't met the cat. Unless they don't know the cat.

If you don't live with the cat, dogs, you go, I'm in. You should lie and say, you should say it's a child. A human. Yeah. You should say it's a child. If you swap all this with a son, that place would be locked in. And then at the end you go,

I was just kidding, it was a cat. That's a good bit. That's a good bit. It's true. Yeah, that's betraying the audience. My son, Julian? Yeah, yeah. It was just a cat.

Yeah, he was fine one day. And they all crack. I'm like, oh, my God. We euthanized him at the house. We had a lady come over and... Yeah. Killed him. The hospital said, it's not worth saving him.

I said, hey, that's my son. It's going to cost a lot. It's going to cost you like 20 grand. I don't have 20 grand for my son. Kill him. It's a very different bit. Yeah. Season 3 hasn't.

started yet. Get that fucking cat at my head. You're going to be doing promo when season three comes around? Promo? I'd be pushing to get on. This is the last opportunity anyone's going to have to go on Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert

and Jimmy Kimmel is the next six months. You never want to do it? No, no. Three places I would never want to be at. I'd love to have my hair ruffled by one of the jimmies. No, I'm not part of the promo team, I don't think. I'll post that on Instagram. I don't think I'm doing the talk.

More of a Facebook cat, damn. Yeah, yeah. It's on Facebook marketplace. Yeah, I'm not doing it. Breakfast television. Breakfast television. It's time's that. People are watching.

People deserve to know. Yeah. How much alcohol is in that? Margarita. Oh, God. I didn't eat today. That's what's happening. Oh, that one's heavy stuff.

I just had a heavy, yes, I didn't realize. Is that 9% or something? It's pretty close. And I have not eaten. Eat three? Wow, I'm drunk. I'm sorry. I've said anything hateful.

No, I shouldn't have another one. No, no, no. Maybe one of those. No, later. There's some state sides in there. They're a little less dangerous. Four percenters. It's incredible when you don't eat for the day.

And you have a 9% alcohol very quickly. I had three double margaritas already. Oh, come on. All right. Where? Who am I to say? Where are you going over the next six weeks? It's insane.

I'm making a big mistake. No, it's awesome. So we film it in Denver at the end, and then there's San Francisco after that, it's like a cap it off. But before then, I'm flying to Albuquerque. There you go. Never been.

I heard it's fucking awesome. It's Albuquerque. So I did a bit, I wanted to recreate a drive. I got to do with my family just when I found out my wife was pregnant with this child. Yeah. But we drove from here to Lubbock.

My wife lost her wedding ring in Lubbock That was sad But I like to think the ghost of Buddy Holly How'd she lose? She was getting pregnant So her hand was swelling up So she took it off in the hotel room And then we realized

When we were a day Past Lubbock She left it on the end table We called there And they said Oh yeah we've got it So they had the ring And we go

Okay, they've got it We can get it on the way back Which is a big mistake I should have fucked the whole trip And driven back To get the ring To fucking wedding But I thought

The nice people at the hotel Say that they've got it They say it's in the say That's good. And over the course the next three weeks, of course, they lost it.

Yeah. They lost it. They lost it. Damn. She lost it and then they lost it. But once a person says, we've got the ring, you go,

I mean, I know it's a litigious country and at that point you can probably sue them. But it felt, you know, we lost it, they lost it.

I'll buy her a new ring. I'll buy her a better ring. I miss that ring. I'll love my wife. Anyway, go from Alvin. It would have been worse if you fucked the whole trip

and you went back and they went, we actually don't have it. And which also could have happened. But we also and we were enjoying the drive by that point because that Albuquerque to, we drove up through Alpine, Arizona

which I didn't even know existed that there's green lush Arizona. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been. It's like Martian and then it's hills and trees. Anyway sorry, I'm going to cry thinking about it. This is a great country to drive through. There's so many beautiful people. There's so much hope.

You see the petrified forest. You see the Native Americans. You see the fucking methed out trailer park. lights. Yeah. Just abuse that must be happening in there. It's unbelievable. I went on this drive.

I saw the Hoover Dam. I saw the Hoover Dam. I'm going to try. I'm not going to get to see the Hoover Dam this time. Have you ever seen the Hoover Dam? No. I wept like a baby at the Hoover Dam. I thought it would just be a big dam that they made.

It's so remarkable. Yeah. It's like being in the Great Gatsby. The things that, it's a 1920s dam. Yeah. You ever play like Skyrim and you go in the dwarf area? And everything is like, you just go, whoa!

they built huge metal angels to guard the dam yeah yeah go to the hoover dam huge statues are fucking strong yeah muscular angels looking after the dam it's fucking sick it's so much concrete too it's so much concrete but then like gold lettering even the public toilets are nice and you go like yeah guys died they just feel they're part of the concrete they're part of the dam people gave people cared yeah you look at you go like the government cared about infrastructure is so important

so that you feel the country's moving forward. If you don't build, people are bitching and people are pinching and bargaining about this new thing that Trump's building the ballroom, but it's like, kind of the point of being a country is building new, beautiful things. I agree. The ballroom I think sucks.

I don't know that it has to be boring. The arch? A big, an arch. All right. I don't like, I like tools. You know, build me a big fucking bridge. High speed rail. High speed rail.

High speed rail. Build me something in. impressive that you can use. Imagine that. Imagine getting on the bullet train just to the homeless riding the bullet train from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Just ferrying the schizophrenics back and forward.

Naglev, 300 miles an hour. America deserves that. This is a great country that could achieve anything. I know. And it makes me upset that Gavin Newsom and his greasy, wavy nonsense can't build that fucking train. Build it. Just build it. You got to do it. You got to do it. Because it does fill people with help. It's like going to the moon.

It's so important to go to the moon. Yeah, yeah. Don't you say that? Do you know why there's stone gargoyles? Yeah, they did go to the moon. They did go to the moon. They got to build something on the moon. They got to start populating the moon.

America needs to move forward. There's gargoyles. Yeah. On the edges of courthouses. There's a worse about. Yeah. The Catholics and the Jews run the judiciary. Yeah.

Everybody knows this. You look at the Supreme Court. I think there's one Protestant. Really? I think everyone else is a Jew or a Catholic. I think the only Protestant is, is contegi brown jackson the new lady who biden put in uh contegi brown jacks are saying that right she's the uh sounds like we cut that yeah that's definitely racist you don't know about

contig brown jacks you can't say those words too we we can't do i've started i've started australian that's a blackest name i've like someone spun a wheel yeah yeah that's my that remains my favorite podcast i love this podcast i love this podcast i love i love couple of, I've started listening. I'm going to shout this out now because I don't know when else I'm going to say. I started listening to, maybe now it's not the time. Did you ever listen to the Red Scare podcast? No.

The who? The Red Scare podcast. Maybe I did listen to it a little bit. To Eastern European ladies. Oh, my girl loves us. It's great. Didn't she date? Adam, Adam.

Adam. And it's great. I didn't realize it was, I would just always hear people talk about it. It was a reference. It was a hometown counterpart. It's ladies' come town. Yeah. It's so good.

Really? It's... Are they unapologetic the way we have been and then we have to cut half of the ship? No, they're dirtbag left people, right? No, now they're like full on right wing, Catholic. Yeah, they've made the full transition. Whoa. Isn't that what this is?

No, you started there. That's what happened. I don't believe there was ever a left-wing Tommy Pope here. People call me a leftist. Climate change. change Tommy Puck. That is what happens. If you start a communist podcast

and you do it for a couple years, eventually you've got to go. Yeah, right one. Hello matter, hello fighter, globalized the infatada. You know what I'm saying? I don't know.

I just wanted to say that. It's really good. They're really good. I love that podcast. But I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe there was a great... When did they make the move? To the right?

Yeah. I don't know. They're Catholic now? Yeah, I think one of them is Dasha's Catholic, like, she had a very high profile conversion. She became Catholic. And then people were like New York Times articles about it going, are they taking the piss?

And then Catholic and theologians came out and went, even if they're joking, even if this is ironic, it's good to be in mass. Damn. It doesn't matter if you go to mass ironically. It matters that you go. And whatever happens after that is, you know, I thought that was beautiful.

That really moved me. That's a hell of a counter. Yeah. I don't care if it's a joke. You're here. Yeah. Do it as a joke. You're going to come along with your tits out?

Okay. In time, I think you'll learn why that's a bad idea. Yeah, it's believing. Well, this is also like the Protestants have this thing where it's like, you know, you've got to will yourself to believe. You've got to make a leap of faith or whatever. The Catholic thing is like a race. It gets into your blood.

Yeah, it's cultural. If you stop being a Protestant, you become an atheist. If you stop being a Catholic, you become a lapsed Catholic. I find that really beautiful. That is beautiful. I find that all these, People don't go to Mass, people, whatever. They still, you got their St. Christopher Medal.

There's an episode of B& Ian where he talks about getting fucked by a man but taking off his St. Christopher Medal beforehand. So it's not too upset. And he loses the medal while he's getting rammed. And then Jordan goes and buys him and you St. Christopher Medal. Oh, my gosh. But it's great.

He probably took off St. Christopher Medal and put on his own merch. It's fine. I mean, it almost feels wrong to do because you're getting, it's like, you're traveling. somewhere you want him with you lift you up

he's got to carry you through that be my lighthouse where there was one set of footprints that was the man left him right up in the air obviously people can't be doing that gay stuff I thank God I'm not a homosexual and I only say that because I would not be able to I wouldn't be able to live a chaste life

yeah one time you'd be fucking men all the time It's really the purity that I have. It's too much fun. You died. It'd be too easy. Yeah. It's just too much fun. It's not, we are checked by women.

That women still have to be interested in you and women are not as open to random sexual contact as a man. Boy, if I was, if I was gay, I'd be, I'd have AIDS and I'd be dead. Yeah. Yeah. Good. And guess what? Would you rather live 30 years of the greatest time ever? Or 80 years of bullshit.

80 years of bullshit. I've thought about it a lot. You're saying that. No, because then you'd start, I mean, how would you get through the day? You'd just go, I could just go down the public toilets right now and get opened up. No, you go to the gym first. You drink some pineapple juice so your cum taste good.

And you go fuck three guys in a park. You need like a Sisyphian sort of thing to be engaged with. You know what I mean? Absolutely. The woman is the rolling the ball up the hill and then you almost get to the top. It rolls back down. Woman is a speed bump that allows us to proceed at a safe rate through life. You're both saying negative things in a positive way for women.

Do you understand what you're doing? You understand that you're protecting these women? Yes. With negative analogies? The woman's kind of like a bullet about to hit your fucking skull. Yeah. And you have to dodge. Where would we be with our balls and our chains?

You know, it's important to happen. It's like walking into a fucking wood chipper. There's your bitch. Yeah. It's not what I'm saying. saying. That's not what I'm saying. It's like gravity. You get your strength from it. You know? Not like these weak fans. Is that what you're saying? Is that what you say? Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? Like most of my metaphors, you can't carry them too far. Also, your girl hasn't been here in two months. It's been three weeks. That's why you're so happy.

No, it's, I, you know. No, I saw her this weekend. Where? In Arizona. Oh, you went to Arizona this weekend? Yeah. Phoenix or Sedona? Tempe. Tempe. Oh, it's great. Tempe Improv.

Fucking rocks. Do you want to plug anything? You kind of did already. Yeah. You're going everywhere. James, tell us where you're going, man. You're going to Albuquerque. You're going.

You're ready? Feel free to jump in and do a common theory with each of them. Are we going to cut to this right after the headshot? We're cutting. You took a photo? that's I'm in safe hands I'm going to

all right Albuquerque Phoenix San Diego Los Angeles Seattle Portland Chicago

Detroit Toronto Brooklyn Boston Boston far out Pittsburgh then a big

then Orlando Naples Tampa Denver Denver Denver and San Francisco, and that gets me through to the 1st of June. All great cities, dude. That's fucking die.

That's great. If I can't imagine being in a good mood by the end of this tour, I've got to stop drinking. That's great. I got to fix my gut. I'm worried. I'm worried. I'm going to die out. You don't drink that much, dude.

No, but I just get a couple of yogurts in there. You don't drink that much. That'll turn it around. Yeah, yeah, get some good bacteria. It takes a lot. You got the gut health. I've done the research. and I've seen many interventions of how much alcohol it would take.

What's happening with your shins? These are pool. Brother. This side effects of alcohol. Is that a new one? No, this is both of them from jumping on Shane's hot tub. Is that a different time? So the same time?

No, same time. All right, well, I'm going to be at the improv lab in Los Angeles, May 7th. So come to that. And thank you guys for watching. Thank you for doing it. Let's get you something to eat. Get some food. Sorry about that, man.

Just got you in that belly. Don't cheat my name. Just touched a wound. Congrats on the fourth. Congrats on the fourth. All right. I love you. Guys.

What? May 14th, I'm at Cap City in Austin, Texas. Jesus, Christ. Go see Josh. Go see Josh. Thank you so much. King gets fit of her suit one time. Go see Josh Francis.

Chris O'Connor. Thanks for heaven. Thank you.