Stuff Island - Joey Avery - Stuff Island #187

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Joey Avery joins Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope from Netflix's Tires Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under t...he sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Unlock a healthier and easier way to eat by using Promo code "Stuff Island" at checkout for 15% off your first order at https://www.huel.com Get a FREE cold brew maker with your trade cold be subscription at https://www.drinktrade.com/stuffisland Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code STUFFISLAND at shopmand.com! #mandopod Go to https://www.buyRaycon.com/stuffisland to get 15% off their best selling everyday ear buds right now! SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You'll go to bed like kind of humming it. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever the AI they're using to create these songs around these text messages, which whatever they're mostly strained off pop music. It's just somebody that has been in that situation where the girls pissed your golf and get fucked up every Saturday or Sunday. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:24 You know, they think you're just going to a strip joint eating wings after 18 holes with your boys blacked out. Yeah. Sometimes. Well, my friend's dad was telling a story because he lives in Palm Springs, which is just like straight up golf community. Yeah. And he's like the husband never told the wife that after the golf round they would go to the strip club every time. It was like their tradition. So she thought it was like eight hours. She loved it because she didn golf round they would go to the strip club every time it was like their tradition so she thought it was like eight hours she
Starting point is 00:00:47 loved it because she didn't know they were going to the strip club and he always came home horny so he always wanted to fuck so she was like yeah go golf this golf really gets his blood going yeah dude he gets him going. That's fucking awesome. Just gotta make your life work for you, you know what I mean? Did you find out? I don't know. I hope not.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Just find something they want to hold against you. Like we gotta go do two hours of podcast, but we're probably gonna do four. Go right to the... Did he join after this? Come on. Just be like, I'm grinding our editor quit. You know, we got a live edit. Takes twice as long. But I really want to fuck after. They find out they get pissed though.
Starting point is 00:01:34 It's like stolen valor. Yes, yeah. They get mad. Well yeah, you can't let them find out. If you're gonna start lying. That's how my girl acts like. Just come on, just lipstick all over you. Why do you always smell like perfume after your golf?
Starting point is 00:01:52 I could never keep up that lie. And neither could my bank account because you imagine go to strip club every Sunday after now. Last thing I'm usually tired after. Yeah, you have to blame it all on gambling on the course. Yeah, you'd be going to like therapy and stuff. I'm tired after golf. I don't want to go to the strippers. You'd have to blame it all on gambling on the course. Yeah. You'd be going to like therapy and stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:08 For like being a degenerate gambler. You're just really like maybe you should quit going to therapy and start getting a golf coach if you're spending this much money losing. DeRosa, dude, I got to be in like such a unique mood to go to a strip club. Yeah. I think that's just age thing for I don't know. For me it is. I've aged myself out of giving a fuck
Starting point is 00:02:28 and then it becomes like a chore. It's like going to a young bar for me. Like a 20 something year old pub. You don't feel comfortable. You're like what's the pressure? There's the hot girls, but I know they don't actually wanna hang out with me. It makes me feel weird.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Made that mistake. Yes. Exactly, that's what you do. You're phasing out of the ignorance thinking you're going to get sucked off in the back. Yeah. You're going to lose hundreds of dollars talking to some fucking meth head slam pig. And he's like, then I got to go home to what?
Starting point is 00:02:55 Got to tell her what my rising moon sign is. Yeah, no, it's she purposely going to look at time shares. If she found out I went to a show club, it's the same level of upset that she gets when she finds out like I ate without her. I didn't know where that sense was going at all. There was a too long apology. He's about to just say. No, if we all went out to eat dinner after this, she should be like, she'd be like, why do you tell me you're going to eat?
Starting point is 00:03:33 It's like they don't fucking understand. Like, I don't go eat. Figure out how to survive. Oh, I think it's a communication thing. I think she's saying, hey, I don't care that you ate without me. I don't even totally care. You went to the strip club without me. I just would like you to communicate what's happening so that I'm not caught off guard. Yeah, but guess what?
Starting point is 00:03:50 If she came home, I see I disagree with this 100% because it's like to a point where figure it the fuck out. Your day doesn't have, I don't have to let you know every second of my day. And if you can't figure out when to eat and fill your tummy as an adult, that's not my fucking problem. And if you want to go eat go eat. I'll be here. I'll wait for you I'll actually go with you. I'll have a drink while you eat. So this why do I have to coordinate your tummy my tummy? This is like a hold on It's not like I'm canceling previous dinner plans. It's not like we had plans and I fucking set reservation.
Starting point is 00:04:29 I went, ah, I already ate with my friends. No, I'm just talking about normal dinner where I'm just like, oh yeah, I already ate. You ate? Why don't you just tell me you ate? I'm telling you now. And then it becomes this thing going, fucking order something.
Starting point is 00:04:43 I'll buy it. It's not money. Then I gotta stuff $100 in her mouth and I don't wanna do that. This is where our lives diverge. See, I would rather just send a simple text, hey, me and the guys are gonna grab food just letting you know.
Starting point is 00:04:56 It's not all the time. Instead of coming home on principle and being mad that she was waiting for you. You're a hero, Joe. You're a fucking hero. I'm not saying I don't think about women Then you think if I send the text now, I'm gonna have the argument. Yes Thing yeah, you're gonna get oh you're gonna eat and then you go fine. No, that's fine. Yeah
Starting point is 00:05:30 that's fine yeah like well I thought we would yeah and then you go well not and then you're like you're in the middle of the fun time having yeah you get home yeah ready for horrible now I'm in the castle of depression I'm ready to do battle. Yeah, I know the homework hasn't been done and I'm gonna run into a buzzsaw when you get home. It's not every fucking time, but one time out of 10 is enough for me to go. I'm just gonna eat and not deal with that. You know what I mean? Because then you get hit with the, oh, OK, well, we're gonna eat, but that's fine. And it's like, is it? Because the way you said it's not. So now the whole time I'm eating, I'm not tasting the food because I'm thinking about arguing when I get home. There's two hours. You're gonna have it anyway. Yeah. Anyway. Right. So my enjoy the meal of not. Put off the bad thing.
Starting point is 00:06:25 It is, it is probably, it's pretty much a fundamental problem in my whole life. I think. Is this maybe that way? Put it off. Yeah. It's just going like, well, I don't know. I'm having fun now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:36 I don't want to. That's how I feel about Sunday drinking. Like, if you've been drinking all weekend and then on Sunday you're like, all right, we should get it back together. And then you're like, or we could end this current depression for a little bit longer. Now Monday is going to be worse, but it makes Sunday drinking the best drinking
Starting point is 00:06:53 because you can't think about anything in the future. You have to live in the moment. It's basically Buddhist. My Sundays are Mondays now. And then my Tuesday is my Monday. Okay. Sunday, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want. Yeah That's why I stopped taking dates for stand-up. I'm gonna get day drunk. I'm gonna watch some sports
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah, I'm preparing my my mental state for football season, which I didn't do last year You gotta start preparing OTAs start now Spring training for alcohol Yeah, I started you are not holding out this year. You signed the contract. You have pictures and catchers. There's a contract here for you actually. So you're really putting in the work. A free agent. It's also football season for us has been a disaster. Yeah. The past two years. Yeah. What do you mean? Well, it's just we're getting shit faced every weekend and then the Eagles are doing well and Notre Dame was doing well. So just doubling down now. Saturdays and Sundays.
Starting point is 00:07:49 That's a big weekend. Yeah, yeah. But when football season was over, I was like, Oh my God, thank you. I got a football season. The idea of going like I'm in shape. Yeah, come the dog days. Come playoff time, you're going to appreciate these extra reps. You're going to see the reps, dude. Fourth quarter, dude. Hold them up, boys. Hours later, I'm throwing them down my throat with power. To puke. He's been working on that puke. He's been working on the mid-game puke since June. He's got that shit down.
Starting point is 00:08:30 He's just going extra hard in the preseason. Tommy's the only guy still letting slurs fly in overtime, dude. He has the fucking stamina. That's why you watch important games at home. Yeah. It's the safe space. I do think, no, this is an important point because when I'm fired up, like when your team's in something,
Starting point is 00:08:52 you want to be in the action, but the bar is not the right place to watch an important game at all. Even if the sound is up, you start, people are talking to you, should we order this, checks, whatever. Like you need to be locked in. I don't want to hear your opinion on any fucking play,
Starting point is 00:09:06 any player, and then with every group of fucking drunk retards comes a pack of whores. So then they're fucking yapping over a, Classic pairing. A lemon drop martini, like she's not caring, she's wearing, she's decked out head to toe, she's got eye black on, she doesn't know how fucking the game works. I do, I do.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Keep your pick at home and fucking... It does bum me out when you see people rooting for the same team as you that suck. Yeah. And you go, maybe we suck. It is funny because when you look at other fans you're like, God, Cowboys fans are so fat and stupid. And then you catch one of your fans in the wrong light and you're like, whoa, fuck.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Like as a Niners fan, we're always like, Raiders fans are fucking trash, but then you head up to the deep levels of the stadium there and you might get fucking. See, Philly gets a bad look just because it was the early. Just because of history. Early history of like social media, you know, the fucking, they got two things, the batteries.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Riley Cooper. Cooper saying the N word at a country music festival is not cool. Don't do that. If you're gonna pick a genre though to let one fly, save her space. His jerseys through the roof that's fucking crazy thing that's how you know it's garbage it's like when a rapper dies is
Starting point is 00:10:29 like when a white famous person says the n-word does increase their sales for a short time yeah but the NFL makes out on the jersey sales he's not getting a penny in that fucking shit yeah that's good it's so funny they should have put the end racism patch on the back of everyone that they saw What have been the only time it worked maybe special edition? Every every racist feeling dude going like oh fuck We're taking a video of them burning it Every electrician's wife got that special tool out. You know that one tool?
Starting point is 00:11:11 That's so funny. The wife of an electrician sewing that patch off. Actually behaves himself in the basement. God damn. But yeah, golf is great. But so you were saying, why do you think Philly got a bad rap just from early social media? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:31 It wasn't just like, yeah, of course, we're intense. Of course, we're the most dramatic fan base, but also the most loyal. You understand? Like Niners have it. Niners have dramatic and loyal, but it's not nowhere near it. Look what happened to fucking Knicks. See all the footage the Knicks are getting. They beat the Pacers once. They started throwing trash bags at the guy on his walk home. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:52 He's just minding his own fucking business. Who did they throw trash bags at? I missed this. He was wearing a Pacers jersey. Oh, that's not nice. And they're throwing New York trash bags filled with AIDS and rats. It was recycling. It was recycling. It was recycling. And I did think that. That's a little bit better. It's a with aids and rats. It was recycling. It was recycling and I did think that.
Starting point is 00:12:06 That's a little bit better. A lot better. That's a softer blow. Yeah, but we're talking like spring, summer, heat and the fluids at the bottom of these fucking bags. You know what I mean? You never leave your fucking compost
Starting point is 00:12:22 bucket open during the rain and then just close it just like invented beer They look they like leave like a bucket of something outside and just Like became alcohol. Is that true? I think it's got it sounds great Think that yeah, it was a lot of like accidental inventions Yeah, somebody just had like a bucket. Yeah, it's way weirder accidental inventions. Oh, I know that I mean, yeah, somebody just had like a buck that's race Yeah, it's way weirder if someone was just like before there was any real mind-altering stuff Just going like I gotta come up with something. Yeah, it was just experimenting with everything
Starting point is 00:12:56 It's probably some poor sap that just like was starving didn't have anything to eat There was just like a bucket of oranges that were fermenting. Yeah. In his backyard. He's like, why? I got to drink this. And he was like, whoa. Yeah, yeah. He was just spitting game at girls out of nowhere. I was like, where do you get so confident? That guy barely owned half a donkey.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Now he's pulling the hottest chick. One drunk guy, first drunk guy ever. It's an amazing catch. They had to go like, what happened to that guy? He gets really cool and really sleepy. And then someone went, no, no, no. It might be his bump in the morning. We need to make this happen again.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Tell us exactly what you did. How long was it sitting out in the sun? Where do you golf? Do you golf in LA? Well, I live in New York now, so I don't really golf when I'm there. But when I go back home to the Bay Area, so I golf a lot in Northern California because like my clubs are there, my friends are there. I can just like I'm home for the summer. I'll just go out wherever I can.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Up in Tahoe, I'll golf. I played Torrey Pines. I was at a wedding. Damn. Yeah, I played twice in Sanines. I was at a wedding. Damn. Yeah, I played twice in San Diego. I'll play on the road more than in New York. You just rent the clubs from the clubhouse? Yeah, and that sucks. And I'm a lefty, so it's tough. Yeah, it just depends
Starting point is 00:14:14 because you don't know what you're gonna get. Sometimes you get a nice, and you're like, oh, I get to play with titleists. You play the higher in courses. You're getting like, mostly titleists. What I found is when my dad came into town and we played with Brit. Yeah. Shane's buddy hooked us up for this country club.
Starting point is 00:14:33 And they all have like the first or I'm sorry, the latest generation of like titleists. So these these high end clubs will have sponsorships from because they're thinking these rich people are coming in. They're renting the club. Yeah. Try it for 18. This almost happened. I have a nice bag of tailor-made clubs but I played two rounds in San Diego and both courses had the titleist clubs and I was walking out of there like, that title is three woods it's pretty fucking strange. I like really wanted it I really wanted it but I was like this is how they get you don't let them fucking trick you. But I'm still thinking about it. Playing badly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Well, the thing is, I was with the rest of the bag. I just happened to be hitting three would well that weekend. I think it's just I'm just a timeless guy, but only for this club. You don't fuck me. I fuck myself. Yeah. But yeah, golf is great. I mean, it's just it's weird guys who like sports and like drinking and like hanging with the boys. And golf is a great way to preserve that while also preserving your self-hatred because it's a very frustrating game.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Well, it's competitive. Yeah. With yourself first, I play by myself and I'll be like, you're a fucking idiot. You know, she's going to get that fire. A fucking softball league. Like, no, you won't know. No one gives a fuck. No. I played once for an old employer yeah I was in the regular workforce also getting so vague I played once for an old employer when I was in the workforce what the fuck happened back in my union days. I killed one Asian.
Starting point is 00:16:09 I just don't fucking, you know, but they don't know what to give you shit. It's it's it's cool to drink and stuff. But like you get frustrated when they can't throw or catch every other sport. Feels like you're trying to recapture something of the past where golf feels like it's present in your life right now. 100 percent. Like it's not a glory days thing. I could be 80 playing golf and it'll be like, this is what's up. We're gambling. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Fuck you. Yeah. Why did grandpa call me that? I was never good at golf as a kid, so there's no glory days. Yeah. They should be theoretically ahead of me. There's no good past. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:39 It's got all the greatest elements you need in one fucking hang. Yeah. You know, your boys, little competition, little booze, some car girl tat-tas. Yeah, you know your boys little competition outside Some car girl tatas. Yeah, no get some tunes going to some music tunes out there That's all I want. I want an excuse to be on some of these courses. Yeah. Well excuses just you know I mean no Santino does no I know I just keep doing what you're doing and people go. Can you please play my course? Yeah, that's how you get good at golf, but he's How's this little gay show doing where he's hanging out with the best
Starting point is 00:17:12 George Lopez, I am the only Mexican in the comedy Yeah, George is not looking good no he hit a fucking turn dude, he's out of his fucking mind. That guy it off. Yeah, I meant the real golfers he's playing with. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So cool. The golf is like starving for like there's a lot of good golf content, but they're also realizing like, fuck, this is a way to actually get out there and like a cool, fun. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah, it's kind of like a camera crew that eventually films comedy
Starting point is 00:17:46 It's probably a bad analogy, but they're used to filming like pharmaceutical, you know commercials and shit Oh, yeah, filming something that's fun. They're like, ah, this is what I want to do Yeah, all these coffers are hanging around fucking nutbags, dude. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I think they're all crazy, but they can't let it out Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think they're like wild boys. Yeah Fucking nuts. Yeah, I think they're like wild boys. Yeah Fucking nuts. I yeah, that's like that but 2% I don't know man. They're all wealthy kids Yeah, I mean from the most dangerous. This is the most dangerous wealthy kids wild What about shit? Hey, yes, I mean like fucking you know their private school
Starting point is 00:18:31 You know very well children that had insulated from any type of and they don't have personalities. There's only a few of them I think they're all no there and they have a slight personality like this guy's crazy He's your least interesting friend Every single one of them one. I don't think they have like stories like, oh, we're missing out on the crazy golf parties. I think you're just saying like just in the head, they're fucking nuts. Like they're just nuts. You can't get that good without being correct. Yeah, an insane person.
Starting point is 00:18:55 I read a book about golf. I thought it would work. It did not make me as much better, but it was basically. Anything but swinging the club. Yeah, but how can I avoid the actual work? The pain was basically anything but swinging the club. Yeah, but how can I avoid the actual pain and the horror? How to win a basketball championship page one. Maybe I just need to work on the between the ears part, but actually though, this is the one sport you need to focus on.
Starting point is 00:19:17 You know, it was a good book. It's called golf is not a game of perfect, but anyway, okay. He was talking about how all the best golfers, if they're inside of 90 yards, they're like, that should go in the hole. That is their psychosis is like, when it's like, if they're super far, they're like, why the fuck did that not go in?
Starting point is 00:19:35 Even really low percentage things, they're just thinking that's going in. I'm not thinking, get it close. Jesus. Yeah. Aim small, miss small. It's true. There you go, Chris, you're reading the bill, pal.
Starting point is 00:19:44 It's Mel Gibson, now I'm watching the Patriot. That's true. There you go Chris. You're reading Mel Gibson. No, I'm watching Aim for one you can't get six million Shoot for the facts shoot for the historical fact that wasn't Yeah, if we get one it's basically yes did Mel Gibson I'd won you find them all Shoot for the moon. That's historical fact. That's historical fact. Well, he did say that. That's what Hitler said. Yeah, it was small. If we get one, it's basically, yeah. Did Mel Gibson? You find one, you find them all.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Did he also have the quote, shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll take out a bunch of stars of David? There you go. Keep that. That one was soft. All right, this episode is brought to you by Huell. Let's go. These are our boys. Yeah, For me, mornings are chaos.
Starting point is 00:20:26 I'm out the door in minutes and I don't have to whip. I don't have time to whip up a balanced meal. That's where Huell Black Edition RTD comes in. It's my go to. It keeps me full, energized and focused so I can tackle whatever the day throws at me. Summer doesn't slow down and neither should your nutrition. Huell Black Edition ready to drink is a complete meal That's ready when you are toss it in your bag hit the road and fuel up without missing a beat
Starting point is 00:20:50 It's a perfectly balanced meal that saves you your time Designed by experts provide all the nutrition your body needs from a meal. He'll takes the guesswork out of the time and End time out of healthy eating no prep. No cooking That tastes so good Tom. you love I do every single day Have you yeah, yeah, it's not a joke addition. Yeah, I got a whole new shipment of black edition I know same I have three bags of protein and two bags of greens Beautiful he'll he'll fuels me Fuck yeah, Jesus. That's okay guys
Starting point is 00:21:21 me. Fuck you. Jesus. That's OK, guys. Start saving time and money without compromising nutrition today with this exclusive offer. New customers of 15 percent using the exclusive code stuff island
Starting point is 00:21:34 at Huel dot com. That's H U E L dot com promo code stuff island. You get 15 percent off. It's amazing. Yeah. If from somebody who's been working out for 30 plus years, it's the best protein nutrient dense shake I've ever had in my life. There you go. And it saves
Starting point is 00:21:53 you a shitload of time making a dinner after or a lunch after the gym. And you just go on your way. Drink it in the car. It's beautiful. I promise you, you'll love it. That's a stuff island guarantee It's stuff island guarantee see the description in for the terms and conditions skip the stress not the nutrition try a hule today for complete nutrition bottled Righty focus on that All right this episode is also brought to you by Trade Coffee. Oh, another fucking fave.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Yeah. Baby, every day. Yeah. I just ran out of cold brew beans. Before you start your ad read. Let it rip. I ran out of cold brew beans. I sent a big bag of cold brew beans specifically for cold brew
Starting point is 00:22:46 Okay. Yeah a little sweeter. Okay, it does well in cold water. So Just run out big giant thick bag dunzo and I've been using their yeah, you've been using their their Little spout their cold brew maker. Oh sick It's a smaller one and only fills like two or three coffees as opposed to my giant KitchenAid one that I'm so trade is the number one coffee destination in the u.s. for both hot and cold coffee drinkers they've teamed up with 15 expert roasters to source the best beans from across the US and curate in an exclusive cold brew collection you
Starting point is 00:23:22 heard that right these beans are designed specifically for cold brew, like you were talking about. So I know the taste will not only be insanely delicious, but also consistently great. Yes. Okay. True. For a limited time, Trade is giving away a free Hario cold brewer.
Starting point is 00:23:37 When you sign up for your cold brew subscription, when you go to drinktrade.com slash stuff island, that's drinktrade.com slash stuff island. That's drink trade dot com slash stuff island. You get your free cold brew maker with select cold brew subscriptions. That's drink trade dot com slash stuff. We'll click that one. Mel's you know, he's back, I guess. I don't know. He's keeping.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah, he it seems like he's back and then he finds a way to go. Yeah, he's always saying something that you're just like, yeah, I've kind of just checked out like people do stuff and then they come back and I'm like, I don't think I need to involve them in my life. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think that's the that's the conundrum of being that famous is because you have to be secluded and you have to be, you know, a recluse. Yeah. Well, yeah. And you can't you can't really monopolize on social Socializing with your boys can't go anywhere. I can't he's happy
Starting point is 00:24:31 He's a rent a fucking restaurant to get out of his house true. There's paparazzi on his ass He wants a golf with his friends. That's horrible. So it's not a great way to live So then you just sit in your own thoughts all day and you go well I'm the best yeah,. And then it like, it warps your mind and you start thinking like a psychopath. This is just my theory. Right. So he was like, well, I'm the best. Then maybe he tried to avoid that. He's like, actually, Jesus is the best. Yeah, I tried to put the glory in Jesus. And
Starting point is 00:24:55 then he was like, who got my dog? Yeah. Yeah. And then he's gonna call one of his agents. And he's like, you have a lot in common with the guys that killed my fucking son. That's so funny, that journey. He's yarning this all together going, holy shit, maybe this one guy was real. Kanye West, for example. I was gonna say, Kanye's got the exact same arc.
Starting point is 00:25:17 What a turn of events. Same arc. They're working the same arc. It does suck, you're like, my life's getting a little crazy, let me just put my faith in Christ. Let's just simplify this thing for a little bit. Let's calm things down. And then two years later, just like, who did what? Ha ha!
Starting point is 00:25:36 It's so rude that Kanye made that song because he knows he's good at making songs. So now everyone's walking around and in their head is just three words you could put together Three it is the worst three words you could stick in someone's brain That's how pop like that's how fucking talented that man is. Yes Yes, give me the worst three words you could say and he made a banger dude, dude I was I was I still haven't heard the song. It's a great song. Really? It's catchy. I'm not gonna say it's a great song. Oh, that's what you're saying Yeah, I was with I was with I was in Dallas and the guy hosting for me was doing the thing. He's like man crazy
Starting point is 00:26:16 he's like You know, if you actually listen to the lyrics the songs really not about that He's actually saying that like he lost his kids and then like Twitter and it's really about about that. He's actually saying that he lost his kids and then Twitter and it's really about the toxicity of online life and I'm like, that's probably true. That is probably true. Probably not gonna bump it. Probably not gonna slap it.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Windows up banger at best. How do you get it? It's just all over Twitter and then they have on Twitter, there's like- I've never heard the full though. I've only heard clips. I think it's out there on Twitter. And then then they have like the they're doing AI. Like they did like Midwestern, like punk version, Midwestern emo version and like Christmas version. I saw a guy do a ukulele cover. Elon is sending me this song personally. Basically, it His Twitter is like, it's actually a good song. It'll get you.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Yeah. If you listen to the lyrics, though, the lyrics are so funny. Yeah, I was just like, that's you're probably right, but it's a tough, it's a tough sled. Yeah, the black KKK outfit tends to under. That's so sick, dude. You think so? Flipping the script like that.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Yeah. Visually, because it's so confusing to the mind. I don't think, I don't think anyone. Think about it. It's not really, I don't think I know. And they're all like, they're all like standing like soldiers. Faces blacked out. Oh blacked out, bright blue eyes. What?
Starting point is 00:27:47 You didn't see the visuals? No, no. The visuals? It's better than this song. There's no way. I don't know if we keep this, but it's so funny. It's so good, dude. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:28:01 It's so good. You know, life's complex and it is. I do think that, I mean, the constant hunting of like as Kanye does it, like art and like being transgressive, it will lead you here. Where you're just like, why can't I? What is art? It's to provoke. It's just to provoke. It's like, right. But I'm not like someone who enjoys like the Yoko Ono, like crazy exhibits and shit.
Starting point is 00:28:26 So I would just like him to use his his powers for good. But to be fair, he also dropped a song this year talking about sucking his cousin's dick. Yeah. Was also a windows up banger. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the guy's in a phase of his career, you know, let him get it out. I think the album will be good. You gotta let the guy jerk off in the bus station so he doesn't kill people. You gotta let him get it out.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I don't think you're wrong. I might be at the end of the road. I think that's where a lot of the golf and he's coming from it's like I can't I can't be listening to the lyrics And going what is me something about something deeper yeah You know what I mean? I gotta I gotta investigate. I can't just snap judgment. Yeah Yeah, I think becoming out of touch is lovely you don't have to be up on things like you can just let go of the leash Yeah, go hit the golf course be like that's you kids. Well, that's the power of money Yeah, you know what I mean? You can't let go the leash until you have enough fucking money in the bank
Starting point is 00:29:35 That is do whatever the fuck you want. That is not getting home I'm trust me. I'm hanging on the leash. I don't like So unhappy I'm trust me. I'm hanging on the leash. I don't like it. Yeah At least you so unhappy I'm walking the dog of culture every fucking day Crazy I'm gonna be a collar I'm shocking myself back in the fucking Mediocrity, I love when people turn on comics and like he doesn't talk about anything real anymore. I'm like, I can't wait to get to that point. I wanna be sitting in a house in Pebble Beach and being like, his new stuff sucks.
Starting point is 00:30:12 I'll be like, right. And Netflix just paid me the most I ever got. And that's fine. And I'm sorry, you deal with everything else. I'm gonna write an hour and a half about why I don't have to tip caddies as much as they want. Yeah. 100%.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I want to be successful enough that you have like, you're just in a golf simulator. Cut that out for me. So funny you caught that. I couldn't let that go. I was like, I'm just kidding. Tip the cat. Make sure the cat is getting good tips. No, but that's the goal. To build the golf simulator
Starting point is 00:30:54 room. You'd have it like fucking whatever. The latest sex robots come around feeding you whiskey. Your buddies can buzz in on like FaceTime. You buy a sex robot and you're still making it just do chores. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:08 What's harder than a woman bringing a glass of whiskey? You're like, yeah, the sex robot sucked my dick for a while, but we've been together for a long time now. I prefer a meal. What are you gonna be doing in between the fucking? Get to work. Yeah. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Tip your caddies. Damn. Yeah, get to work. Yeah, okay tip your caddies Always tip the caddies always tip the caddy It is that that will be the thing they hold over your head with the the sex robots is The software upgrade is gonna be yeah Astronomical yeah. Well, we're talking wealth in the future. Yeah, but you're gonna get tired of them You're gonna want the upgrade. Yeah, no shit. You're gonna be like you'll have enough money get up. I'll get the upgrade every night Send me the rush you went fat nannies you plan it like cruise in USA, Egypt, Russia, Dubai. Two players.
Starting point is 00:32:09 They're going splat on the screen. Third player, enter. Dude, oh my God. I'm just thinking about whenever like Grand Theft Auto X comes, I mean we'll be dead by the time they get to X, but like GTA X and you're actually like fucking the sex That's gonna be insane. Just get sucked off. I'll reload your gun
Starting point is 00:32:32 Just in a full body suit Gotta just walking into Tommy's house unexpected. He's got VR goggles on he's wearing a tuxedo, but his cocks through the hole No, I think I'm checking out I'm checking out of all of it. Yeah, what are you gonna? Do I feel like you could get into like water coloring. I could see you living in a creek. I'm gonna try to read some books and then play golf. That's not bad. I think with those two things.
Starting point is 00:33:13 May I recommend books about golf? Yeah, you gotta read what you like. I think, yeah. There's two minutes to the current events, there's too many, there are too current. You gotta stop talking to Gerben. Gerben's in your head now and you're doing that is making all the decisions that urban makes No, he does this read and play golf Yes, probably happy, but that's not what I want
Starting point is 00:33:39 Stay the course no Sundays Cuz you use it with current events. You want to be the guy who's like, no, no, no. I go the extra mile to figure out what's actually going on. And then it just keeps getting deeper. Then you're just like, I don't I just I've learned a bunch of things that are all upsetting me and I don't actually know anything more.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Stop doing that. Well, I can't help it. Oh, you use comedy as an off-ramp so you hear about something Yeah, and then you learn about it a little bit and you go Well, I could go deeper or I could just go here and be fun about it Heard our project. Yeah. All we do is you find one fake fact on Twitter and go no. No, this is I think it happened you find one fake fact on Twitter and go, no, no, this is how I think it happens. Fauci did it in a fucking lab himself. He fucked the rat.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Yeah, I've been solo podcasting and I'm like, what am I gonna do, an hour of research or am I gonna have a fun angle? Yeah, that's crazy. Fun angle, dude. Now that's crazy. I've been enjoying it though, it's been fun. Well, that's a pure sign of your insanity.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah, no, I'm- Just sitting down going, I'm gonna talk for two hours. Yeah, it's a lot. Unbelievably nuts. It is crazy and it takes a lot of time because you end up spending like six seven hours prepping and then you do It and then I'm like editing it and then I'm like not well for like a half day I feel like I've lost my mind and then the back half of the week It feels nice because I don't have to do it till next week. Yeah, but I like it either Joey show podcast You're my first Joe. Yeah, so I like it either. Joey Show podcast. You're my first. Joey Show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:05 So it's the same format. Same. Well, I mean, initially I was going to do a guest show and then I was like, that's hard to do. So, you know, I've just been doing it by myself. What do you mean it's hard to do? Booking guests every week. I don't really have someone that I have access to that I want to talk to every week. So sometimes I'm like, I'd rather just pull fucking stories and just go crazy.
Starting point is 00:35:24 And I've been writing fucking like songs fucking stories and just go crazy and I've been writing fucking like songs and sketches and just kind of losing my mind alone but that is fun. It is fun. It is kind of fun if you can hang in there and not literally be broken by it. Yeah I wrote a love song for Bel Belichick you know like yeah and his new girl you know. Yeah what the fuck. Yeah. What the fuck's going on with him. He made she's a whore he met I spent like two and a half hours talking about it and that's pretty much There's a summary and you met her She's a paid escort that this pig was like wall if you pay for me for everything
Starting point is 00:36:03 I'll continue to suck your weird dick. And now she's just... Is this what happened? She's in his pocket, yeah. That's, I mean, I haven't... That's what everybody knows is what happened. Because that's why she won't talk about having met? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:15 They met on a plane. Exactly. It was a paid plane for hookers with all... It was Zephstein's plane. Essentially. For high-end fucking football people. Yeah. And they get and he's giving her his life now and letting her
Starting point is 00:36:29 like run. Shit. The crazy part. Yeah, Patriots fan or not, dude. I don't like to see this happen. Nobody likes Bill in this situation. I don't know. I don't I hate this changing everything dude.
Starting point is 00:36:39 UNC saying she can't be on campus is the greatest fucking move. I couldn't believe they did. But then they walked it back. They did. They did. Yeah. They were. Did she suck their dick? Yeah. She just has to blow everybody's. Yeah, dude. It's getting sticky out there for them tar heels.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Yeah, I think she might end up being the most consequential Jordan in UNC. She's fucking she's Yoko Uno, dude. Yeah. She's Yoko, dude. I think she might end up being the most consequential Jordan in UNC history. She's fucking, she's Yoko Uno, dude. She's Yoko, dude. It is, you know, I mean, Pussy's Undefeated, like old, old lonely guy who's like, dude, I'm gonna be single. He could do that forever though. He should. And he's not, dude, look, nobody is settling down with a professional football coach.
Starting point is 00:37:26 You're gonna live a life of hell, getting pregnant in the off season, and then never seeing him again until the baby's fucking one or two, and then he's gonna come back in dumping you bloodshot ice after watching game tape when he shouldn't be doing that, should be playing with the first kid he fucking made, and then you just, it's a cycle that continues
Starting point is 00:37:46 and you just keep paying this bitch to shut the fuck up. Do you like your beach house? Do you like your boat? Shut the fuck up. I gotta go work on this fucking wide receivers. Basically all day. She's not gonna have kids with him, you think? I don't know, this is my point.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I don't know why. If he had a kid with her I'd go. Yeah, cause she's now a master real estate portfolio. She's like bought a bunch of houses. She's like running a bunch of his communication. She said no to hard knocks because she asked for creative control and ownership. Create a hell of a team. Just hard knocks like that.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Yeah, my feminist approach. Good for her. No, she's doing she's going gonna let this girl in the fucking front door Letters raid the cabinets dude, because if you're too fucking stupid to see what's going on. Well, what's that? It's gonna be a whole Smith and Nicole Smith. She fleeced that billionaire That's what's good that's what's happening. I'm telling you we got a poor day that to Bill Barachick. That's what's happening. I'm telling you, we got a poor Dane situation. She's taking his dentures out of his fucking mouth in another 15 years and going sign here. She's just jerking off his soft weird dick. I don't know. And he's going to sign with his mouth because his hands don't work anymore. She's been slapping him for 50 days.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I think this... Everybody knows what's happening. We know how this ends. Yes, suicide. His legacy is over. It's not going to be suicide. You're going to think it's suicide and we're going to go, he couldn't possibly have killed himself. He's going to go suicide for sure. Bill Belichick's not going to commit suicide. I don't think he has the emotional range. If you disown the boys and you let a woman take over your life...
Starting point is 00:39:19 The Bourdain thing, you brought it. I mean, that's so depressing, dude. That's so depressing. What, so depressing. I what have I become? Yeah You think that it's you think that the Rubicon is once you look yourself in the mirror and you realize you disowned the boys You forsake you just yeah You're just like I am conspiracy theory. He didn't kill himself. He was killed because he was Giving away too much Jordan kills him. Huh? No, no, no, no because he was giving away too much. Jordan kills him. Huh?
Starting point is 00:39:44 No, no, no, Bourdain. Bourdain, yeah. Oh, you think one of the producers of the show killed him for giving away creative control? There's a lot of governmental things, too. Governmental? Yeah. Oh, you should have left with that.
Starting point is 00:39:56 The government had to take out Bourdain. The conspiracy. What's the Asians? The Asians, didn't it? What governmental things? It was just the Americans. Yeah. Yeah. That's why you don't do a single pocket. Yeah. What governmental things? It was just the American... This is why you don't do a single podcast.
Starting point is 00:40:10 A solo podcast. If you're ready to do a solo cast, no one gets to ask questions. So you can just go. When I get tired of talking, I go, it's probably a governmental thing. The American Tourism Board was just like, he's giving away too many good international food spots. Nah, he didn't He gave up on the boys. It was Guy Fieri like people aren't even going to the drive-ins anymore This episode is brought to you by Mando. It's on my nuts right now. Mando. Yeah. No it is. It is
Starting point is 00:40:46 Yeah, I used their moisturizer cream to get here because I had a long day Then your odor is definitely under control once quite Once wiping you're good to go This isn't your typical deodorant its clinical strength 2x better at controlling sweat than the standard It controls both sweat and odor for 72 hours and after just 12 hours underarm sweat was reduced by 92% Which means your balls are 92% drier. I'd say 95. 95% drier than they otherwise would be. This stuff works. Yeah. Doesn't just mask odor, it prevents it. 100% of study participants experience all-day odor protection. Unlike other deodorants loaded with chemicals, Mando uses only premium ingredients like gentle mandelic acid to keep you fresh and dry.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Mando Starter Pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, a cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 20% off site wide with our exclusive code. Use code stuff island at shop Mando dot com for 20% off site wide and free shipping sh o p m a n d o dot com Please support our show and tell them that we sent you guys. Don't stop. I'll show you Mando's got you covered Look at ish Say goodbye to sweat stains. This episode is also brought to you by Raycon.
Starting point is 00:42:05 God, it's just a hit after hit. Yes. Oh, summer, more warmth, more light, more time to spend outside. Summer is a time to be out and about, enjoying every moment from sun up to sun down. But all we need is a sidekick who can keep up so we can enjoy our favorite music podcasts and crystal clear sound all day long. That sidekick is the everyday earbuds by Raycon Raycon Raycons latest model is better than ever with a 32 hour
Starting point is 00:42:31 Battery life and multi-point connectivity that lets you pair with two devices at once The Raycon quick charge battery function just ten minutes of charging yields 90 minutes of battery earbuds are Also come with active noise cancellation, ANC, everyone needs it. Something difficult to find at such an accessible price. You know what I do? What do you do?
Starting point is 00:42:53 I keep the Raycons in my travel bag, like my little coach bag, for when we go on the road. Nice. And they are better than the major brand that we use Fuck you that way. I already have a travel kit. Just like my little docket. Dap. Dap kit Yeah, whatever they call it. Yeah, I got all my other other ingredients Yes, my deodorant my razor my fucking all that stuff. Yep. I already have a travel kit the Ray cons go in there You got your Mando you got your Harry's in there, baby. Yeah, 100% Ray con on the road.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Well, go to buy. Raycon.com slash stuff island to get 50% off. Raycon best selling everyday earbuds right now. Raycon is offering 15% off their best selling everyday earbuds only at buy Raycon.com slash stuff island. Buy Raycon.com slash stuff Island Raycon Raycon Raycon all right now back to the episode that would be so sick a meeting of all the big food personalities yeah you're in fucking Thailand yeah think of who's
Starting point is 00:43:57 gonna take him down they pull Mario battalion they're like battalion you have to do it he's like mama, I'm out of the game. Did you see he was talking? He was like, oh, it's one more. Yes, I did. I love, this is the most fucked up thing about me. These docs that are about guys who got in trouble for weird sex things, I always loved the first half
Starting point is 00:44:18 because I'm like, man, he was killing it in the 90s. He had all the restaurants. I'm like, New York restaurant life,. Woo. And then we got to the inappropriate touching. And I was like, well, this doc really bummed me out. Really cooled off. Well, he earned it. Then did you see fucking Brett Farszok? No dog shit. Really? Yeah. It's one slam pig that became famous from wearing a bikini on FSU's, I don't know, Fox was covering it or something. Brett Musburger said something about her, and then they hired her as like an on-field reporter
Starting point is 00:44:52 just to be a pig, and talentless as hell. And then Brett Favre, then she started working for the Jets when Brett Favre went from Green Bay to the Jets. And Brett Favre was just the most most famous individual you don't realize the icon He was you do but like when you rewatch like how influential he was globally this fucking guy was the guy He was it so he was just being what all these other guys are doing right now Yeah, and there's nothing that serious where he wasn't texted or someone was like, hey He said her dick pic, was like, hey.
Starting point is 00:45:25 He sent her a dick pic at one point, but he was texting her the first she records. That was for someone else. She recorded it, my bad, send that to your friend. Yeah. The blog, the blog, the blog, the blog. Here's the biggest, I'm sorry to get, you're really gonna have to watch it,
Starting point is 00:45:40 but it's not good. You're not gonna get. I think we're not gonna watch it, so I'm gonna take this. The first half is Brett Favre's rise to fame. The way Tom Brady came in after Bledsoe and fucking started killing. He did the same thing.
Starting point is 00:45:58 And catapulted to everything. And that's fun as fuck. You're like, man, this guy, holy shit, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. And then on his decline from being, you know, an elitist professionally on the field, he was just using his his fame, sexually the way all these pigs do. A couple of news, she was doing the same thing. She was in Playboy Maxim. She was selling your body. So he was just like, hey, here's the bad part.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Yeah, he had a wife. Yeah. Not good. Yeah. Not good. Percentages of those people that are doing it. But professional athlete cheats is not a headline. And all he asked, he got her number, which is not good.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Somebody in the organization, illegally gave her number to him. He didn't have her number, he just straight up donged out. They never met in person. Can you illegally give her number to him. He didn't have her number. He just straight up don't ever met in person. Can you illegally give a number? I just don't think it's like I think that could be not. It's like against their like. Yeah. HIPAA.
Starting point is 00:46:58 It's OSHA. Yeah, OSHA. Yeah, yeah. One of those things. Yeah. And then he just sent a random text going, hey, I'm gonna head back to my hotel room after the game. If you wanna stop by, that'd be great.
Starting point is 00:47:11 And it's just a voicemail and she was just safe. And she had like one or two voicemails and then he got hammered and just sent her a dick pic at one point, didn't work, and then there was no communication. And there was a fucking, I'm sorry, didn't we love Brett Favre because he was a gunslinger. Yeah, there's some pics
Starting point is 00:47:28 Yes, it's completely in character in his DNA. Yeah, yeah Yeah, this is who he was this is part of his greatness through a Hail Mary down by yeah didn't work so It all the whole fucking second half of the story is her just being like I was Changed and I and I couldn't think, you know, she made it all about like, I couldn't believe he did that. It's like, how many dick pics were you getting through college alone?
Starting point is 00:47:57 You tried to get this one man that had money, had a bag, brought him to court criminally, not guilty, civilly, now they're in the process, not gonna be guilty. He didn't do anything He was trying to pursue somebody then he'd go about it the wrong way. Yeah, was he a philandering fucking? Yeah, cheater his wife and kids. Yeah, that's not cool. Yeah, but he didn't do anything Disease he's got CTE. He's got a head trauma. He could say that and he certainly does. Yeah, he's got a disease. Yeah, the only the only prescription is photos of your pussy.
Starting point is 00:48:36 She's the one who made it a thing, right? Yeah, she sexualized her whole- She knows that he shouldn't be doing that. She tries to use leverage to extort him in court. He did nothing criminal Yes, shit bag out of her fucking beauty. Yeah, I hate to say this as a fucking man But it's like no one's hiring you at 35 when you can get another 23 year old ding bet same as the NFL Fuck it same as the NFL. Yeah, it was exactly what happened to farve. Yeah. Yeah bingo. Yeah Yeah. Now you're eating his own medicine. Yeah. Maybe you should have seen the humanity in what he was going through.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Yeah. But he had talent. They both threw a Hail Mary that day. And neither were caught. Yeah. I do think the scumbag, the other scumbag thing he did was like embezzling money from like the Mississippi fucking that's crazy arena for his daughter but you know maybe he was trying to make up for lost time after that dick pic he built a volleyball things where you're like did he do that how to how could he do well there's a lot of there's transcripts there's emails texts yeah how can we make sure this doesn't come out? Lots of like, you don't do that. You call somebody. He does seem like the type of athlete that is going to launch the world's worst political podcast in like six months.
Starting point is 00:49:54 That's the head trauma. Yeah. Well, or he might just that might just be what he thinks, too. Dude, if he drops a fucking Jew banger, if he Mel Gibson's this whole thing, I will. I'll be wearing green and yellow all season. My brother, I say, hey, Mary. Dude, Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre beat a pod.
Starting point is 00:50:24 The takes coming off of that pod would be electric. I really wanted Aaron to go to the Vikings to complete the Favre. The Vikings said no, but it may do for him to complete the Favre would have just been so good. Yeah, I think everyone learned their lesson. Although the Vikings, they almost made it to the Super Bowl with Favre. But I think Aaron Rodgers seems like he's a bit of a cancer at this point yeah I think that's fair which I hate to he's been floating
Starting point is 00:50:52 Chicago people are certain what rumors and going to hares why would anyone do that I don't know the only person who would do that is Aaron yeah the Bears wouldn't do that I don't think so Yeah, let's get him around Caleb Williams. Yeah That's fun of him to just do as an agent of chaos though Yeah, you know, yeah I mean the only place that makes sense is Steelers, but I don't they they seem to be interested in not having a quarterback It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. How talented he is that he he does have options for the next two years at least for backup and starting until a
Starting point is 00:51:36 New guy gets in there for the first six six months. Yeah, I just don't think you can bring him as a backup He has the same disease as well. Yeah, he's Every high profile. He's got to be entry for the next franchise quarterback. Yeah. Teach him everything he knows. Yeah. What are you? Wait till someone gets hurt and then come in and then he doesn't have to play. It's a half season. Take Caleb Williams. Give him some peyote.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Break his brain. Yes. Send him back to the bears. You see the scientists have made LSD the same power. What? Hold on. It's a government thing. It is a government thing. It's paid by the government. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:19 They changed the molecules of LSD to remove all the hallucinations. And just give... So now I just have anxiety benefits of the yeah the brain so like CBD but for acid essentially but no it's you feel it's actually doing something I don't want the hell it's not ripping yeah I think you need I think you need the the mind melter to know it's for like this is for pharmaceutical use like schizophrenics and stuff. They can't They can't be talking they got voices to a snake
Starting point is 00:52:52 Yeah, I don't know you just throw some more crazy in there It's like multiplying negative number if you're a regular dude at the fucking a Grateful Dead concert in the fucking orb in Vegas I'm talking about like it's a little what is it the sphere sphere? I gotta get out of here If you take skit so juice and you give it that's what you should be doing is bleeding the skittles Making pill out of these fucking animals Put them in a pit. Yeah, we do is we take it they got multiple personalities. We give it to people with no personality we liven up the bar Yeah
Starting point is 00:53:29 I just get one I mean have you ever been like you know you're walking in a big town and you hear a skit so and you'll hear like Them having a conversation and I'm like I feel like both people in this conversation. We're making intelligent point Yeah, sometimes. I'm like the two of them were intelligent, but packaged in one, it's not working. Also, sometimes I am a little bit jealous of their like powers of imagination. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:53:52 You're like, they're so, it's like you just see someone shitting their pants on the street and you're like so creative. It's the cynic in me wants to grab him and go, you really seeing another person? You're talking to him? You're scary, dude. Yeah. The way you're talking to you're scary dude the way you're saying
Starting point is 00:54:08 this is like you're on a new quest it's reading golf how do I do that no psychological experience whatsoever yeah so for real you're seeing talking to someone Chris is doing therapy. He's at therapy. He's yelling at people on the street and questioning their experience. It's a mixed results. Hold on, if you just stop and think for a second,
Starting point is 00:54:39 is there really someone else? What's the alternative that they're like, nah, I just play and then they're fine now. I don't know. I just think it's a way for them. Yeah. Like the way. Okay. Like the dangerous part to me is they pick you out of the crowd of other people that they've imagined and then they start talking to you. That's true. Yeah. I just the way of balancing. You don't want to be the anchor for their reality. No, no, you really don't. You can become if you talk to them. Yeah. That is this a way of balancing? You don't wanna be the anchor for their reality. No, no you really don't. Which you can become if you talk to them.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Yeah, that's why I don't. They'll go, that's the one guy. When you start podcasting. Yeah. They'll go, that's the one guy I know is real. And they start looking for you everywhere. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Yeah. You're their totem. Yeah. You become their god. They see you in everything. I don't know much about it, but it sounds like what would happen. Yeah, I think there's like a, I don't know. It's like balancing these people so that they can remain, you know, in society as a functioning human being.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Otherwise... The LSD thing. Yeah. Otherwise the LSD yeah, yeah You're trying to find a fix for essentially half the percentage of the homeless population Which are just so out of their fucking skull their family can't take care of them anymore And they just push them off the end for themselves, and then they can't because they're eating their own shit. That's true That's tough at Thanksgiving, but it does save money But I hope I mean, that's a brilliant idea. I hope that works.
Starting point is 00:56:07 That's money you need. I just don't know. This fucking shows Love on the Spectrum. Yes. Every single player in that fucking autism game. Yeah. Their parents are extremely big players in the game. They're the all star. Pro Bowl. The thing about big autism, all right, is it's a fucking industry.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Watch their homes. Watch the amount of attention and money they put into these children as they go through developmental years. They are superstars. You're spending millions of dollars to get your kid to the availability to walk into a Starbucks and not, you know, shit in a cup. The sword budget alone. The sword budget. The sword dinosaur budget. Yeah, exorbitant.
Starting point is 00:56:48 It's all my upfront fee, though. If you want a star, you know, you got to you got to pay up. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm happy that's actually I feel like that's a good outgrowth of society that a group of people that, you know, we're never given their shine are being appreciated. And I think, which is rare in entertainment in a pretty wholesome and like good positive way. Like, I don't think people are watching
Starting point is 00:57:13 Love on the Spectrum ironically. It's like a beautiful show that has unintentional comedy, but comedy nonetheless. And now they have like awesome careers and lives and their parents who spent all that money on swords and dinosaurs now have Yeah, a great thing. It's cool. It's kind of cool. I don't really like the way they talk to them about like love and relationships They're leading them a little bit. I think it's just a little fake. You know what I mean? It's like it's like Fairy-tale it is very well. That's how they that's their language they leaned
Starting point is 00:58:00 extra hard into the fairy like they gave him like magic potions yeah this is gonna help you there is not a date you won't need your video games if you take beer yeah yeah it's our magic potions it's true yeah I'm fucking ripped on coke get them out there let them rub genitals rumors wouldn't stand a chance if you put coke in front of that betch. All the fours are connected. No, but it makes sense. Like if you think about like a dog's brain is a two year old. Yeah, an adult dog.
Starting point is 00:58:31 You think about this is bad, but you think about hold on. You hear me out. Are you sure? It's not even close. It is. It's average two years old. Can people talk? Can kids talk it too? Look it talk? Can kids talk it too?
Starting point is 00:58:45 Look it up. Can kids talk it too? No, it's just how they understand the surroundings. Yes. The autism brain, to go back to your fantasy world, it makes sense because like a kid three to five years old, maybe to six or seven, when they're still in their their PJs that are like a princess, they're, you know, Snow White, and they're going out to like a coffee shop
Starting point is 00:59:10 and they're that person. That's why they have beanie babies and fucking their beds are filled with stuffed animals from Disney characters. Because they're always, you know, their stunted growth is at that level. So they have to talk to them and like, you're gonna find Prince Charming. And Prince Charming goes like, I like dinosaurs. Oh my God. I'm sorry. No, no, no. No, no.
Starting point is 00:59:31 This is, none of this is accurate. None of this is accurate. I am spitting facts, dude. No way. There is a spectrum, to be fair to say. There's no way. Not all of them are at the same level, but you do have to meet them at a level that they like.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Where are you at with the dog brain? Kind of, is the conclusion. It's like, there's cognitive functions that they can't. Around what? It's a totally different brain. Yeah, they know. Yeah, of course. They're trying to compare, I get it. Tapels and oranges. It's a totally different... No, of course. They're trying to compare, I get it.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Tapels and oranges. It's fucking dog brains. It's dog brains and human brains. But they estimate the smart dogs to be around the mental capacity and emotional capacity of a two year old. So when they're sad, when they're sad and barking. I love the science we've been spinning
Starting point is 01:00:23 for the last 30 minutes. It's been gas. Is your point that it's said that people are not stuck at the age of like five. I didn't say that. I knew that one. I said hear me out. Anytime you say hear me out, that means what I'm about to tell you is just a fucking gas. Just hitting the ramp with as much speed as possible here.
Starting point is 01:00:46 I hope it's a full backflip. It could be two and a half. Is your point though that it sets up an unrealistic expectation for like a healthy relationship if you're like, oh it's gonna be roses and this and then next thing you know you're in a relationship and lo and behold that person's also autistic and you're gonna have some roadblocks? Yeah I feel like there's a lot of like looking for... And I know you love blocks. It's also the sexual aspect of it. It's weird. It's like, yeah, just let them be children in their mind forever.
Starting point is 01:01:13 Why do you have to group them up and let them maybe what have a kid midgets are different because they can have a regular. I think two autistic kids people could have a regular. I know that's my point It depends on the Can't just be letting these kids go for each other. What type of dog is it a two-year-old midget? So if you alone I gotta pay I would say a pug just on view alone. I got to pay. Go pay.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I think we've done a lot of good scientific research here. And that's why people listen to the pod. To bring it full circle. This is probably some version of how they discovered alcohol. Yeah, I think so. This type of experimentation. You have to experiment. And that's what people get mad when you get caught in the middle of experiment.
Starting point is 01:02:11 You go, hey, just experiment. I'm not telling you. Yeah. Just throw some shit against the wall. Yeah. See what sticks. Yeah. A lot of stuff on the floor this episode. Yeah. Yeah. But do you ever watch any reality shows? No, I watched I like I dip my toes into some murder docs, but I also have like problems with those and never goes well.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Because you're upset that they either do or don't solve it or yeah, there's a lot of being strung along. They do. They're they're like they're letting it breathe. They're trying to get watch time going. And they always do this thing where they go like it like because I remember I used to watch some of the murder docs in like the 90s, the 2000s, and they'd be talking about like the 50s. And they'd be like, you got to remember the cops didn't really talk to one another back then. Now they're doing it. We like the murder will be in like 2003 and they'll be like, you got to remember the cops didn't really talk to one another back then. Now they're doing it.
Starting point is 01:03:05 We like the murder will be in like 2003 and they'll be like, you got to remember the cops didn't really talk to me. And it's like, no, they did. Yeah. For you guys just were fucking up. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. We're in 1996. Yeah. There was no system for us to. So what does that mean?
Starting point is 01:03:23 You couldn't talk to one another over. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? system for us to... Were you reading the newspaper? Or was the town over? Yeah. What are you talking about? You weren't reading the New York Times? Yeah, you're just watching bad police work and it's just pissing you off the whole time. That drives me nuts. Yeah, very few of them actually get solved and then I just feel like
Starting point is 01:03:40 I'm just bumming myself out. You like a murder, you're a murder. God. That's all I consume. There's a new series on, not new, it's like season fucking 12 on HBO. It's like 30 minutes, different case every time. It's everything that Netflix is not, which is just stringing you along for four to six episodes when it could be two.
Starting point is 01:03:59 This is just snippets, all the facts. Give me the fucking goods. There's a lot of fucking up, but there's also like a lot of murder and bad things happening. This is just snippets, all the facts. Give me the fucking goods. Yeah. There's a lot of fucking up, but there's also like a lot of murder and bad things happening. Good photos. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:11 A lot of crime scene photos, a lot of blood. Yeah. All the things. It's perfect. Yes, I don't totally love, I saw the funniest thing. You know how people try to do like promotion for things and they'll be like,
Starting point is 01:04:19 I'm gonna read all the negative comments or whatever. This girl did one for her podcast. She had a murder podcast and she was like reading the negative comments, but all the comments were like, this bitch strings you along for 40 episodes. It doesn't even solve it. And I'm like, why would you read that one? Now I know not to start your podcast. That's an insane sell out. That's not like her hair sucks. She didn't even rebut it, she just laughed. She was like, that's so funny. I was like, is it?
Starting point is 01:04:48 It's a real indictment of your situation. That's people's time. That's basically murder. You're taking hours of my life. You murdered my time. I'm going to watch a document about your fucking podcast. That's why you've got to send them dick pics so they shut the fuck up. See that backfires.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Sometimes they ruin the fuck up. A hundred pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss energy. You got anything to promote? Yeah, I'm on the, I'm guessing you want to promote something. I assume that's why you're here. Uh, yeah, I'm on tour, joeyvery.com slash live. Depending on when this comes out, I'm taping my first special in San Francisco, first weekend of June. Let's go. So yeah, get your tickets for that. But I'm touring all over the country at the punchline. Sick. It's my home club and then Joey Show podcast. Check it out. Fuck yeah dude. Thanks for coming on. Thanks Joey. We love you pal. Yeah this is great. Love you guys. It was fun. Alrighty. Bada bing bada boom. I think, oh yeah, subscribe to the Patreon. I've been killing dude.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.