Stuff Island - Josh Wolf - Stuff Island #197

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

This week Josh Wolf sits down with Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel  @LookatDish  where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND! Take the first step to get some help and get 10% off your first month at Https://www.Betterhelp.com/stuffisland Harrys.com/stuff to get a trial shaving kit to change the way you shave. Harry's provides quality razors for a great price! SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know, I fuck the girl that she shaved the side of her head. She was like an unruly northeastern trash bag that was a bartender. So she did wild shit to herself. Yeah. That feels like that describes a lot of people you fucked. Josh, we just started. Yeah. Come down.

Oh, have we started? Yeah. Also, the side thing is, it's cute, you know, from certain angles. But I was, I was dogging her in a band. and she turned her head and it's just a bald head there's also like in the dark times you had to hear the beginning of yeah but it's true in the dark times there's no gays in a foxhole said Chris there are no gays in foxhole and there are sometimes there's in the dark days you know what I mean when it was really slim pickings yeah where you're fucking a girl and

you're going this is basically gay yeah I'm gonna tell you something you know what I'm saying You're talking about England than 1700s? You're going like, this is so gross. I want to tell you something. There are dudes hotter than this, probably. It's never been slim pickings for me. Really? Nah.

Plenty of pickings, Chris, I'm out too. Tell us to get about your slim pickings. I don't know what you do. Read your no pussy diary. I'm gleeve me. If you think for one second,

I'm letting you off the hook. I know, I fucked a girl. That was a guy. What? It's great, great to see you. Thanks for coming by. Everybody knows about the tranny. You know, it was a thing.

It was a thing when? Like 14 years ago. Yeah, you made it sound like it was a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like Red Dead Redemption. It's like CrossFit. Yeah, I just did it for a little while. It's like GTI.

You got to fuck a guy with a week. all the kids are doing no I did it when she was like the first you know what I mean it was like a hipster of tranny pus they were hiding in you know in plain sight before anyone knew that was like a thing yeah yeah yeah yeah so

this guy disappointed his father very early and you just moved you just pushed the nuts aside no I got hit with uh I got hit with the wand as I was dogging and we were in a we were in a nudie booth in the back

of a dirty bookstore at 3 a.m. in Philadelphia. So you met this person in the bookstore? Are we going to start now? Should we start? We should probably start a couple minutes. It was 3 a.m. until we was looking for something. Library was closed.

I'm not going to be able to sleep. You got me dancing? Where's your Dewey decimal system? I knew the guy at the laundry mat. I can't work in there with him. that's a whole thing you know trying to figure it out yeah on stage that story

yeah it's tough to tell why do you still did you ever figure out that story about your brother's taking you for a hooker you're used to tell that story yeah so this is not happening yeah oh is it yeah remember you were telling it when we were touring again that was practicing it

then yeah so that's been it's probably six seven years now and did it ever get funny Hey, Josh Josh the producer, look up the views And then the positivity count Please What do you call it?

What do you kids call it that don't fuck on? That's what happens You start using words differently After you knock around a dude Are you How often are you getting on stage now? Every week like four or five nights a week

oh no shit you've never done that before huh no it's good yeah I took six years off and then I came back here because of Chris and Che I'm back in baby yeah yeah when we were also when we were torn together I was like how often you get you're on stage you're like twice awake I'm like that's not enough no and that was a lot

yeah I was lying right there no we go I go to helium you know when I get booked back then maybe once a month as a host or feature and then I would do like a one-off show I hated it I wasn't like you hated stand-up yeah I loved it for a second and then I hate it and I just was in my head about it instead of just working it like a job what I'm doing

now was it that you hated because you tell story your natural storyteller yeah thank you so so what was it you hated you love telling stories I hate I hate it the I love the when it goes great yeah yeah I couldn't get used to, like, working stuff to, you know, to figure out. The suck part of it. The suck part of it. Yeah. And then, like, socially, people are bedbugs that are fucking, they're social pants.

Just in general. Just hanging around. Like, this, you know, the social environment of all that is, like, you find one out of 100 guys that you can connect with and, like, really want to spend an hour or a couple beers before a show. Well, that green room can get uncomfortable. Green room. And that's with people that, like,

know what they're fucking doing. Yeah. So once I started, like, traveling for feature work, I was like, oh, this is it. And then you get in a green room with some fucking maniac who's not talking to you. You know, like, I don't like any of this. I'm in fucking Tacoma with this fucking creep. I don't fucking care. I don't care.

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting. You know what I mean? I don't fucking care. Yeah. But then, like, once you start, you know, you start vibing with a group of guys, and we always had the Philly guys. We always hit the Philly

environment. Then I went to New York and I lost all that. New York doesn't have that true. Yeah, that community kind of vibe that Austin has.

And Austin, Chris's point when he came here before I did, he's like, it's a hang. And there's no like, there's no teams. And New York has like, every club has a team.

They already have their fucking roster set. And they don't want you working at that club. They don't want you working at that club. And everyone's like fucking slimy and they got something, you know,

something to, prove and like you can't trust anyone and I was just always I didn't grow up doing comedy so I was like this is filthy to me it is a weird thing if you come from like a sports environment it can be weird it's the opposite of what you want and what you're used to I was

I don't know when I started I loved I like because I see how you could walk into the like open mic scene and be like holy shit I shouldn't be around these people but I was always like this is sick yeah it's because you're a maniac yeah but we started I was one of the main

we started doing open mics with a group of people. So you would travel in a pack. Yeah. Like in Seattle when we started, it was like me and Joey Diaz and a guy named Brody Stevens

and a couple other people. And you saw those people every fucking night. Yeah. And that made it like... Right. The only thing I miss about... I live in Vegas now, the only thing that I miss

is the comedy hang. There's no real comedy hang there. Yeah. Yeah. But besides that, yeah, it's pretty special. I feel like the hangs in general are hard to come by and like especially now just because of comedies change so much

that everyone's like doing so much shit outside of doing stand-up yeah that like people do the stand-up and they leave i think that was the one the thing that's nice about philly is or austin it's also because we're in her 40s and people have kids yeah yeah where you going pussy i just got a shot it's like my newborn needs milk you autistic faggot that is that's all I'm doing in my head it's like

what are you gonna go home and make a clip you're gonna go make a clip you fucking be like no I'm gonna make my wife come and have a good sleep

good luck snort and coke off a fucking bathroom key you maniac yeah you get older it's weird because I started old

I started 29 30 years old and all these kids are like I got nothing to fucking relate to them yeah I wasn't like a comedy fan or guru

I didn't know anything which like there's a it's a gift and a curse right so there's like you still this is going to sound corny but like you don't have you're not trying to you're not trying to emulate emulate any other specific

you know there's no fandom it's like I'm just trying to find my voice kind of thing and that takes a while and you're just like wow I'm exhausted about just conversations with doing the fucking you know there's a there's a political side of all this

Yeah. People don't understand. Where you go to a show, yeah, you only have one set, but you're there an hour early and you're talking to these people, you're talking to that person. You get done, you set,

you're in the green room, you're fucking, why don't you come down to this bar? We're going to know this place. We're going on this diner, and you're like... The one thing that can get exhausting is if you're in a group of people and everybody's just trying to top the other person.

Oh, dude. Yeah. You're talking about Jews. Yeah, the Jews, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm glad that was code for that, right? Yeah, okay. The ones that top the others?

yes yeah dude jokesters that's a good thing about philly guys like all our are our close-knit crew i don't think we're jokesters like we're constantly fucking around but whenever like you think this is funny you don't try your jokes on me yeah what about this get out of here yeah don't get the fuck out of here yeah tell him about your dion dog you know the tumor your aunt has i'd love to talk about that we'll find something funny there by the way super funny yeah oh by the way and cheneen Not doing that well, no. My aunt is like, my dog died too. How old is, how old is your, are your parents now?

How old are your parents? My dad's 77. My mother's 75. And for you two around that age? Yeah. Are they at the age yet? My parents are at that age that, any conversation I have with them was like, your father's got diarrhea again.

You're like, what the? As soon as they call. Yeah. Your aunt's not doing well. She's got, she said the other day, she's like, she's got PPV. I'm like, pay-per-view? I don't think she has that money I don't think she has

PPP but every every conversation now with him is like yeah can I talk to dad he's in the bathroom I'm like okay yeah just say no and they ask

my mother does this thing where she'll ask like how are you and then just fucking steamroll right after right after your first comment yeah

I'm like things are good this is what I'm doing this is what I'm doing let me tell you what James did at school the other day yeah and she tells me a grandson's story

immediately how he like bit one of his classmates I'm like I just told you that's a pretty good story that is a pretty good story that is better than a bud like commercial but if you're a James yeah

Jim's beat another kid I agree with you dude what I'm saying is exponentially more important I'm opening my heart going my mother is finally interested what I've been fucking doing for the last 15 years

and things are starting to pay off and I want to let you know before you fucking die then I got some good stuff coming up hey maybe you should bite somebody I should fucking bite somebody maybe you should go bite somebody and open with that one

Yeah, bite somebody on the bun, like that just bite my mom on the neck and did you have a biting problem as a kid? A biting problem? Yeah. No, I bit kids all the time. You did? Yeah. What do you mean? Raise your hand off your surprise. Wait a second to bite my brother. Wait a second. Just like at school, you would just bite somebody? I don't I don't know. I think I think it ended before I got to like kindergarten, but yeah, no, I was I was biting shit. I love dinosaurs. You know what? Dude, that's fucking insane. That does not... I know in your brain that makes sense, but... Dude, the monkey... It doesn't make sense, dude. That is not a one plus one.

The monkey in your brain... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Where the fuck is this coming from? Dude, that's insane. You're telling me when you were a kid and you saw Jaws, you didn't want to bite the shit out of them. But I like dinosaurs, too, but it didn't make me buy. night people.

I was just talking about how I want my mother to love me. He goes, you ever bite kids and too? I love dinosaurs. You're six.

Yeah, dude. Because the drawings in those books, like a T-Rex. Yeah, so that got you all worked up. I got you cooking. You're like,

I'm going to bite Tom. Dude, yeah. You bite your brothers? Oh, yeah. Bit my brother, yeah. Because he was looking at the dinosaur book. That's my book.

Did your brother's beat on you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually, yeah, you got to, you know, it's two boys. Yeah, you got to bake a cake, dude. Yeah, yeah. My brother used to fart my mouth. Fart your mouth. Yeah.

Were you that fucking, you just stood still and waited? Well, he was six years older than me. And so do the math. I mean, he's, I'm going to fight him. And then eventually he's going to fart my mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Opinions. And as my dad said, when I told on him, I was like, hey, Adam's farting in my mouth.

He was like, what? He goes, what happens? I go on. Before he fart, he fart, mouth we fight I think he beats me up and then he farts in my mouth and my dad got to get your cardio my dad goes wait a second he goes you could either get beat up and get a fart in the mouth or just take a fart in the mouth no just wait their little coins I was like I thought you'd tell him to stop that's why I mean he was like nah take the fart

in the mouth yeah save the beat and get on your knees take that fucking just take the fart the mouth take the gas through the teeth that's basically what his advice was yeah Not, hey, let me talk to them. It was just like, don't get punched. The next week your dad's like, hey, shit, breath. You know what I mean? I got to fart you down, too. Everyone's just fart in your face.

Dude, no. That's a terrible life lesson. If someone's going to fart in your mouth, you've got to go down swinging. I did. Yeah. Yeah, but there's only so many times you can go down swinging on that. Yeah. And at that point, you just don't want to take the beating after a while.

The changing of the guard. They just duct tape your mouth shut up before the fight. Fart my eyes. I fucking dare you. They're changing the garden when your brother's beat the fuck out of you your whole life, and then you finally get them once. Yeah. How old were you?

I was older than it should have been, but my brother was fucking crazy. But how old were you when you finally got him? I think I was like 17, 18, was vacation home in Lake Wall and Paul Pack. Like what? Say it again? Wall and Paul Pack. Wall and Paul Pack? In the Poconos.

Okay. In PA. He started fuck with me. Me and Cooch were fucking working out. this is like but we were finally beefing up I grew a couple inches I got eye level

and he started fuck with me and I pinned him from the back like this and we went all the way down to the floor and he started swinging the back of his fucking head trying to hit my nose so I'm like dodging him this way and he's going to get the fuck off me he's saying how much older

uh six years oh he did that's humiliating for him dude it changed everything that's a big loss it changed everything it's like past the bacon he was like what's what's so what's the worst thing he ever did to you what's the worst thing he ever did to you oh wow I think the most impressive thing my brother ever did to me good safe was yeah

it was like it was the in those years where like I was still waking up at like little kid times and he was like sleeping in and I was like I got to wake him up and I threw water on him and he was on me before I got to the door of the bedroom and he grabbed me by the back and threw me down a hallway I slid and hit my head at the door at the other end and I was like damn that could so fucking I was so fucking I slid

you know it's like I slid on the floor for 15 feet and hit the door like hard well that's the difficulty of finally getting the balls up going because the way to go back to my mother The way she looks at me, I'm still in a high chair. There's some psychological thing there. She can't understand I'm a self-serving adult that I don't need your fucking $200 every three months.

To be fair, this is kind of new. Yeah. In the last 10 years. Okay, okay, okay. I got insurance now, Josh. I'm looking up, pal. I got a coloscopy appointment coming up. You do?

I do. I just said it today. Holy shit. Yeah, man. I'm getting my shit together. What do you think they're going to find in there? Huh? What are they going to find? What are they going to find in there?

Old car keys? A bag of Coke? For sure. Untouched. Would you do it? A bag of Coke that came out of your asshole from 10 years ago? Yes. Yeah.

Dude, when I first got to New York, that'd be hard to turn down. Yeah. When I first got to New York, I don't look at gift to us. Oh, gays and a fox off. When I first got to New York, I haven't done coke in like two years.

It's been nice. But I found two bags of coke on the floor of this, Dukes, which is placed Dukes. They had a nice happy hour. I would go with my agent. I went down the piss, and I had that black and white tile. And there was two random-ass bags. I'm like the same.

You know, it's like that fake dollar where you're like, you start peeling it. You're going, ah, there's like dog shit on it. Is it fishing lure you have to do? Yeah. Listen, dude The other song I went And then he sells it to you

I knew you'd want that And then one One of them had the corner of the bag chewed from like a rat And I was like I did both facts How do you know that that's not heroin? I didn't

This is fucking 12 years ago That's peak you Happy hour just like the Chinese fentany's fentanyl wasn't around yet do you know that's true yeah it wasn't there was no scary shit it was just you're getting a bad bag

it might be just fucking mostly flour I that's the one when I tell my kids I'm why I stop doing drugs yeah because you never know when you're gonna die yeah that's what I like Molly ecstasy all that shit but that's why I like mushrooms yeah because I can just pop you know I take like three

three grams three and a half grams before my Friday night shows yeah whoa That's crazy. Before? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go on stage. Wait, we did this in Portland.

Yes. I don't think I was fucked up, but I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll take three. Like, I, I just posted a video. There was a clip where, because Jacob goes on stage with me sometimes, you know, my son. And there's a clip where he has to tell me, hey, dude, you're talking into a lemon right now. That's not the microphone. And I was like, oh, my bad.

But I fucking love it, dude. I love walking out there that toasty and not knowing what's going to happen. Jesus. How do you keep your mind and? I don't. Yeah, I mean, people ask me, is it a good show? I'm like, I have a good time. I can't.

But people come because they know now and they're on mushrooms. Are you saying Friday night? Friday night late show. I take three, three and a half grams and I go on stage. And they know. Your fans know every Friday night late show. Yeah. see you

it is a fucking that's actually kind of fun that's a kind of yeah dude it is a great time

yeah I would lose my my dude every time every time I do mushrooms

it's it's an episode of undercover boss yeah I do I go into my

subconscious with the groucho marks shit you under cover boss yourself and I'm like what's going on down here

and the rest of my brain's like you fucking bitch shit this bitch is this bitch is fuck you're back

again you've been running this see what we're dealing with down here yeah this episode is brought to you by rocket money tom you know we love it chris yeah i mean rocket money is one of the

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is that you sign up for things that we have no idea if they're still around or not yeah can we just throw stuff Island card through rocket money we yeah I need to throw my personal finances through rocket money I've already done that subscriptions monitor my spending. Rocket money is 5 million members have saved over 500 million

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Rocketmoney.com slash stuff island. This episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Tom. Yeah, I could do some better help. Yeah. In many areas. Yeah. Dude, it's like stop looking at fucking Instagram. and getting advice from clowns on Instagram

but don't know what they're talking about. Yeah. Stop reading weird medical articles thinking that you know what your own problem is. Sit down and talk with somebody. Jesus Christ, have you been read my diary? I'm just saying, you know,

you get all these little tips and tricks and all this bullshit from the internet. It doesn't work unless you sit down with a professional. The information overload. A licensed professional. Yes. Chris. There's 30,000.

therapists. Better help is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over five million people globally. And it works with an absolute rating of 4.9 out of 5 best and over 1.7 million client reviews. Stay in the pocket. It's convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button. Help you fit therapy into your busy life. What is what is this access. I don't know. I'm a little, I've had a few Irish. Irish and Scottish? I'm sliding back and forth between the two. It's really British. A little British. A little cockney.

Lodges on light there before in the world. See, now you have to start the whole fucking thing. No. No, you don't. No, you don't. There's many, many voices. This is a global True. This is a global thing. True. Okay. Yeah. You can get from any accent. There's 500 people globally are using this. That's what I need to do. I don't want a therapist that sounds like my fucking girl

No I want I want a woman with a little flare in her voice Even if I would I would I would I would want an uglier I want an ugly voice Yeah like a voice that like it's like nails on a chalkboard Yeah or just like something that keeps you locked in Yeah like a just an old like British An old British hag Like a waffle house cook oh that's a good one too

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stuff Island. Go. Get it. Get better. No. I would do like a late Friday cocaine show and I'm just jerking all the whole time. Steering people. Beating the fuck out of myself. I don't know how. I had a good time. I don't know how. They liked it.

I cannot imagine jerking off on Coke. Oh, it's great for a while. For 45 minutes? Yeah. That's terrible. It's exceptional. It's worth the soft dick after. There's zero chance that you be...

Bro, it's... Some people do triathlons. You feel like you do marathlons? I do a 5K. Yeah, you feel like you really did something. Dude, it's, no, the feeling, the sensation, everything is elevated. Yeah, but it takes 45 minutes. to get there.

No. No, no, no, no. It's every stroke is fucking heaven. Yeah, I never liked Coke. And then I got older and it really didn't work out. And then the 45 turns to 35 and then you get to 15. And you go, what am I chasing here? Yeah.

That's right. Yeah, the dragon. The dick dragon. And ain't there anymore. It's not worth it. Which part? When I was younger, mid, mid to late 20s, cocaine, sex with Coke.

jerking off with Coke let's go send it I can see how it would be like a mental challenge it's physical it's like can you get yourself horny enough dude you're locked to beat the Coke

your mind is a fighter pilot it's like a dick is incarcerated yes that's right because you're like you're still feeling it you just I watch an intervention

where the guy was I watched an intervention where the guy was addicted it is you need a plan The plan is so rough and get home Get out of the Holiday Inn Stop ordering porn In the middle of fucking Maryland

I miss it Do you? Yeah Nah No Jerking off in a holiday inn you can't miss Hotel jerks are fucking It's nice, it's elevated

It does feel good because you don't You don't have to like clean up Worry about anything Yeah It's your bed's made for that. The whole process is just for beating off. It's an elegant beat off room.

It really is. It's the first move when you walk into the room. Yeah. Without a doubt. You know, you go to those heart-shaped hot tub rooms in the middle of fucking mountains? Nope. Right. And you walk

and you go, this is just pure sex. And they have like a bottle of shitty champagne. And you go, oh, they're forcing me to fuck in this tub. And you have to. With whatever slam pig you're bringing up there in the fucking sticks. When I walk into a hotel room, like, oh, they're just set in the bed for me to hammer out, the big, fat black tits. I love how you mention the heart-shaped hot tub, like that's something up in the woods that

most people go to. It's very popular on the East Coast. There's that swinger. There's a romance. That has, I think we did stand up there, where there was a giant martini glass hot tub in the room that you walked up a spiral staircase to get into. It's all. Was that like Valley Forge Casino?

It was absolutely bananas. It was a swingers weekend. Yeah. And so it was all swingers in the audience. And we went and did stand up there. And they gave us the martini hot tub room. So you walked up a spiral staircase in your room to get to this giant martini hot tub. A cum receptacle.

Basically. Yeah. And but who's fucking in that. I don't know. There's probably people who went to the show. They were pissed that that room was booked. Yeah. Who got the martini?

I just would go to the show anyway But You go northwest These guys are wearing camo Like that's a special night for them Big time Yeah this is like That's the fucking Ritz

Carlton They got a fucking The wife goes bananas Yeah but I don't like fucking in water No it's never When you fuck in the shower It literally sounds like A five on five game at the YMC

Yeah Yeah It's like back me through an interview Yeah It is not great. When you're growing up, you're like, this is going to be great. It's the worst place to have sex. Yeah.

Now, once, yeah, it's plus the water, depending on where you are, it can be like, it's a gritty. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're like some hard water, I guess. Yeah, yeah. You know the worst place that sex. You know what I'm talking about? You're like, yeah.

Worst place to have sex. It's ruining what your pussy's trying to conjure up. He wants to get this. Oh, God, hold on. I can't now. A guy's mouth. That would be nuts. I wonder if gay guys ever do that.

Just waterboard a dude with semen? Well, no, no. So you got the shower going. Yep. Put their head under the shower. Just fuck their mouth. Is water bored them? I don't think that's...

That's the weirdest thing that's been said. Those are pulling back on you right now. What the fuck are we doing? You're going to get all awkward all of a sudden? Is this my God? The hell? The hell was that? That's how I was saying it.

I realized you could do it to a lady, too. Yeah. I guess you can swap it for a girl. I guess it works both ways. Yeah, whatever story you guys want. never tell you how I was big into dinosaurs what was your dinosaur

I was big T-Rex guy from the jump then I got into the velociraptors yeah where you start to see the sea dinosaurs the sea dinosaur yeah you know the big serpenty ones

they're like huge I am the grandfather of the alligator yeah I never really got into dinosaurs because I I played with vaginas When you were six

No actually no You're getting fart in the mouth Really hard to pick up girls You're gonna go You see your brother's farting in your mouth I'm not a pussy I'm not in a fucking dinosaurs Hey shit breath

Check out this T-Rex You'd only get If my brother farted in my mouth once I'd be way more into dinosaurs My I'd be doing an archaeological dig I'd have the whole fucking camo gear on

my brothers I used to always just find myself doing stupid shit that ended up my brother caught a foul ball at Fenway Park

yeah dude my brother caught wanted citizens bank and he was like 10 this is crazy and I that threw the odds I took that ball

to the park to play with it and lost it yeah it's fucked up I took a beating for yeah a long time like I like go back to farting in my mouth

that's like finding the gold bracelet and the sphinx like that's for white trash dude that's a fucking home run ball they caught it's very hard to do my brother was on the front page the Phillies Instagram Citizens Bank Park holding up

how old was it the baseball he was this is like 10 years ago and he didn't tell anybody I found out through Phillies Instagram and I started getting message going is this your brother was it a home run I went He caught a home run? No, it was a foul ball home.

Well, it doesn't make it any worse, doesn't it? Yeah, why'd you bring that up? I was just kidding. He'd derail the fucking story. He's still a hero. I didn't fucking lose his ball. He didn't shit in my mouth, Josh. It's also, it's just so funny to me the idea of you getting your ass kicked and being like, just fart.

Just get it. The sweet release. Fart's got to be coming soon. Give me that bun gags, get me out of the chamber. You knew it was over when the fart came. I bet you, listening to this. The sweet gas. Dude, it is fucking, it's a Georgia chamber, dude.

For sure, there are people who are listening to this. That's Abu Ghraib. I have been farted in the mouth. Abu Ghabe. Abu Ghait. Abu, that was my own personal. fuck god damn

man it's been a very gay episode so far but yeah I mean what do you we expect man yeah with those shorts are you kidding me this shirt you got it out first

but that's fine it's fucking 100 degrees I know you think I care if a couple strangers can count the veins on my nuts I don't wear shorts

oh dude have you ever seen I don't wear do you know how white might whoa Jesus look at that why you live in L.A.

I live in Vegas my God I've never I don't think I've worn shorts in probably 40 years Look how white that is horrendous Yeah it's like underwater Yeah you also don't have I always wonder when my dad didn't have hair Like his hair cuts off in his calf

It's from the ankle socks I mean for the socks yeah I didn't know that I used to bust his fucking tits And he's wearing five inch shorts You know was he wearing five inches Oh yeah And I'm doing the same fucking thing I'm turning right in all

Was you like what material Was it like softball shorts Yeah he was always coaching small pockets even at work he was coached with the v like the jogger shorts he had the he had the cut the cut up here with the with the stripe in the 80s dude i have a picture of us at lake wall and paul pack on the back deck we're holding fishing rods and i swear to god it's fucking nuts are out it's like five inches sitting down it goes to three yeah and then it's a meat locker yeah it's also funny go see like a deli guy putting up a big roll of fucking salami just trying to get a fact in there just talking just doing inventory did he coach teams

yeah in those shorts yeah of course dominance he was dominant my dad's a fucking hall of fame my dad's a fucking hall of fame what little league guy

he ran he was the president of the youth organization Drexel Hill Raiders baseball and that's a huge deal when you're a kid that's a fuck dear that's the president huge deal

there's there's news anchors the president of the United States and the president of youth organization 100% news anchors were a big deal dude yeah I finally fucked one you did in Philly it ruined it for in Philly

yeah and it was somebody you grew up watching yeah hero what was his name no what uh genuinely heard his feeling I was like these guys are going to love this school I left my fucking guard down that's my fault

Wait, how so she was on the news When you were growing up Yeah And so how old were you when you had sex with her Oh, it was 26 And how old was she then? Probably 45 And so give me this in an area

I can't talk too much about it. Okay. No, I can. Yeah, so you just... It was a celebrity park. Comic bookstore. Bing bang, wow! If this was every green room, I would have stayed in comic.

You were, it was... All we're doing is ping ponging. You're gay. No, you're gay. You're fucking gay. You're fucking gay. it's a paddleball game ass who's up next you you you were at you guys i was i was bartending at this place for a summer okay and then they had celebrity bartending night or they had a couple newscasters and then filled off eagles so i was meander around with this little boy and did you

tell her i've been watching you he says oh yeah did you grow up like just like just Just talk about local traffic. Did you grow up watching her too? No, no, no. I grew up in New York, so I had all the New York people. Ew. Ew. I know.

So, is that the oldest woman that you had sex with? No. Oh. No, when I was 23, I knocked around a 55-year-old in Seattle City, New Jersey. What was the situation there? We went out to the bar. I was always a big hound for the elderly. For the elderly?

Yeah. I mean, when you're 23, 55s. Jesus Christ, might as well have the fucking... No, that's crazy. Yeah, that's my age, by the way. Yeah. Big fat tits.

Yeah, she was wonderful. You, but at 50... I munched on her on the fucking steps going up because I didn't have a key to get in and then I fucked her in the backyard shower. It's such a funny story. It's such a funny story.

Fuck. Eating an old lady's pussy on the stairs? We're on the Patreon, right? On the stairs. Who stairs? And who's back on the show? It's a shore house. It's a shore house.

So you got to go off the side steps. And it was her shower in the back? No, it was my rental home. It was me and my boys in a group of us. So you hadn't seen like a body like that at 23. You were used to like a tight. Yeah. Yeah.

But it was perfectly loosey goosey where it's like that's hot, you know, because watching like mature porn one of your younger, I want a little fucking, I want a wonky nipple, you know? Oh, you got those like a hairy nipple? No, just. pointing. What about the soft little swing arm? Just give me soft something. Yeah. You know, and you, you're

your, your, your, your mitts dig into the top of her ass like a, like a temperateic. There's something. And it just, it sits in like a half inch. And then it's softly relays. It also stays there for a second. Yeah.

It is. There's something like, yeah. Or you could waterboard do it. There goes. There goes. Bing. Right back here. I was going to say I was going to compliment you I think there's something like high-minded about one in a wonky nipple yeah something a little off yeah it's like what is this it's like how the Japanese always put flaws in there like pottery yeah what yeah that is the weirdest fact to know what do you mean they it's like a style that like you will you don't want to make like a perfect cup or a perfect

plate you make it like you put a flaw in it damn i wish i would have said this like about yeah it's about how life's impermanent baby you're like japanese potter yeah dude it is god put a little flaw right and i respect yeah i like them yeah your tits aren't aligning they're not even at all yeah no come on the steps i'm gonna eat you fucking overly-haired pussy. Yeah, back then, at that age, she must have been a little busier than you were used to, too.

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clipped. Yeah, yeah. I only shave, recently in just these little parts here because I went to a barber during my adolescent years who gave me the straight race so I get I get hairy growth here which I shouldn't you know it should be the one area

that's a legend you think that's a myth that's an urban myth shaving I don't think so shaving doesn't make you hairier okay there's only one use harries to get less hairy there's one specific inch and a half to two inches where every hair doesn't connect on my body

and it used to be right here. Yeah, it was going to... And Bob Rossi. It was... In Drexel Hill, God bless him. Bob Rossi ruined that because he would straight raise me when I was like in fourth, fifth grade.

What he was straight raised in a fifth grade or four? They love that straight razor, dude. Thick like World War II hair. They love that straight razor. I got the worst razor burn ever in my life was someone took a straight razor to the back of my neck with no lotion. Yeah, it's crazy. It was bananas.

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Harry. What? Harry. It's Harry. It's Harry. It's Harry. It is Harry. It's Harry. There's two R's you fucking dickheads. Harry. Harry H-A-I-R-Y. That's Harry. Harry. Harry. Yeah. It's a homin.

Like his fucking head. Harry. It's a homonym. Harry. Harry. Harry and Harry. beer and beer It's not Yeah you say Barrymore and Barry the same way You go Barrymore

Barrymore Yeah like Drew Barrymore Why is that thing These are not names That we say all the time No You wouldn't go It's Drew Barrymore

I'm going to fucking kill myself. You eat berries, you don't go, Barry. Yeah? Yeah. All of it. Anything fucking new. Dude, 23. And you're essentially, this is every young boy's dream is fucking like the hot mom on the street.

Yeah, but I, yes. But I wasn't ready for it, man. I was always obsessed with that shit. I wasn't ready. Teachers. Six grade, I was looking at my teacher. Dude, I had a woman at, when she was. I was 21.

She picked me up from my house. It was in San Antonio. She picked me up from my house in a minivan. And my buddy goes, hey, Wolf, your mom's here. And I was like, okay. And I walk out, and I get in the front seat of her minivan. And I had met her. I was bartended at a place called Dick's Last Resort.

And I had met her. Of course I was. A little place called Dick's Last Rezort. A little hole. Back to get, yeah. You just served yourself. But she put me in the van, and I didn't know what we were doing.

I was like, are we going to go to a movie? She was like, no. And I was like, were we going out to dinner? She was like, no. And I go, what are we doing? She goes, we're not leaving the van. And we drove over to a place called Breckenridge Park in San Antonio. Open your mouth.

Yeah. Let's do some waterboard. There's a fart coming. But she made me, she made me move the car seats from the back of the van from the back seats into the way back. She was like, help me move the car seats. So I moved the car seats and we fucked in the back

of her van in the park. But I was not ready at that. Because at 21 you're still fucking girls who were just like, oh my God, I like that. Oh, that's perfect. I wasn't ready for the grown up. This is the charm of older women when they get to

a certain age, whether they're married, divorce or single. They had have always had this fantasy of getting something done to them in some capacity. Whether it's a rape fantasy, a young kid fantasy, and then as the years go on,

they go, I only have a certain bit of time left. I've never had my ass eat on the steps of a fucking shorehouse. Things like this. Probably nothing that specific. Yeah. And then they start to do things to you

that they always want to do to somebody else that they didn't deserve it. know they didn't fucking love so they treat you again like a receptacle and they go i'm gonna fucking that's what this kid this kid is my teacups but this felt like a scratching post like she had me not just she just sat on top of me that's awesome she was like don't move let her run don't ruin this for me let her run yeah i also agree with like it's it's like because you want you want you always dream of the situation where someone's like i know exactly what i want i'm

going to go do it but when it's happening and you're 21 it's a lot dude if some ladies just like get in the van eat my ass you're like Yeah, I know, yeah. That I guess. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that was... Whoa, dude. Hold on.

We're also talking to you. We're talking. We're talking 1990. Yeah. As he was not around. No, that was not a thing. If a 55-year-old broad told me that, they'd be like, ah, you know, we get out here.

People were not cleaning their ass properly in the 90s. No. No. She's driving a minivan. Chicken chickens in that fucking thing. Dude, there was a cheerio on my back. Yeah, I bet. So, yeah.

But it was intimidating to have somebody who knew, sexually knew what they wanted, what they liked. Yeah. And it could see past my, oh, you liked that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what the bartending years, like, gave me was like all fantasy fucks.

Yeah. Because people would just wait around. So you'd have every age group would wait until you get off shift and they'd be flirting with you. so you'd have younger girls and then I just like steered towards like never had that you know what I mean it's you're perusing a fucking menu going yeah I'm sure it's weird there isn't weird that people who work somewhere are better looking like if you saw a server and you'd be like oh she's hot but then outside of yeah wherever you're like that's a custom

but there's something about yeah wearing the uniform yeah yeah fucking yes I still think about I mean, I can't. This is public, right? Yeah. What do you mean this is public? I got a couple of things I want to talk about. I never bartended. I only bar back.

So I would come up at the end of night just covered in trash. But I'd still have the same energy. You got a dinosaur book on your back. Girls, you want to hear about the brunosaurs? You got your T-rex onesie. No, I. Tipping my glasses down. Have you?

Did you know about Japanese potter? Yeah. Familiar with a stegosaurus. Yeah, I, although working at a restaurant, that's out of all the places I've ever worked or whatever, everybody's fucking each other at that. Yeah, of course. At a restaurant, more than any other place, people are fucking. Yeah.

The manager of the place I worked at was, had a long-term girlfriend and then was fucking this girl whose boyfriend or fiance would like drop her off and they would come out of like the manager's office and she'd have like palm prints on her face like obviously no like you know what me like just like rough sex where like it was like she's fucking swollen in red and she's like her hair's all over the place that's he comes out with a fucking a dollar bill rolled up over his ear because they're doing coke and I had to tell him like buddy yeah right ear and he's like he's perusing a busy sold-out fucking Saturday night this was like the place in Philly

and I'm like you're here and he goes oh fuck and then this guy's fucking girl's picking her up and all of you knew yes when he walked in yes that's tough the coat closet was like fucking saloon doors you just take every fucking waitress in there was he trying to be friends with you guys too hey Tom how's it going he was great with us

yeah he's so much more painful yeah and I didn't give a fuck about any of them that much I mean they were just like friendly i had the job for like three months because i just wanted to be a part of that i had a full time those jobs were good time they were awesome i had a full time job i didn't i didn't need money i was working corporate i was like i had a fucking real gig and then this this place opened up and it was hard to get into i walked in there one night and it turns out this a couple people i went to college with the drexel were working there as like managers and i was like how do i can i bartend here

i'm like yeah but you got to work the door for a while and i was like what i was making like six speakers and I was like I'll work the door I'll fucking work the door and I just worked this security and I just held the door open for like a month and a half and then I got like shitty shifts I got like Thursday night yeah Sunday night we but then that vibe was like man it was so fucking I hired Joey Diaz to be the doorman at um so I met Joe in Seattle and um and this is also the place where he and I stole a safe did I ever tell you about he and I steal him no okay but so I hired him I hired him, I had started this fetish night and the DJ would show up in a hearse and he would pull his record, his record player and shit in records out in a coffin.

And it was the freakyest, like downstairs, there was a room where you paid an extra $75 to go in, but you can get peed on or you could sit under a glass table and watch somebody shit. Oh my God. It was bananas. And so you set it up. Yeah, dude, it was great. Making flyers. Yeah. Dude, the flight, it was bananas.

It was kind of bananas. Just reaching out to your buddy that knows digital arts. So these two old dudes... He helped me out with something. He's two... The bar owner doesn't even know about it. Why does it smell like pissed on you?

It still smells like shit in that downstairs room. Yeah, don't worry about it. You see the receipts from last night? These two guys... Businesses is boom! Well, you can get shocked. You could get cat-tailed, the whole thing, dude. But there were these two old dudes who used to...

to show up in like gone with the wind parasol and the whole like it's two old gay guys two old gay guys and they were yelling at each other one night and I go hey they're gonna kick these guys out I go there I go shit on a table get rid of these two fucking old guys I go they're being

disruptive we got to get them out of here they're loud and and Joey goes okay which guy I go these two guys so he walks up and he goes hey you you two's queens you got to leave and they were like what And he was like, you're being loud. You got to, we got to go.

And they were like, we don't want to go. He goes, I'm sorry, you got to go. And so he starts to walk them out by their elbows. Just hitting him with the umbrella. They're hitting them with his parasos. No. So you would hear, what, what, what, what. And as they're hitting him, he's just going,

oh. And he went, when he walked him out, he said, did you see them hit me with their umbrellas? It's fucking unbelievable. But he and I stole a same. from this place so they were crooks just like the guy you were talking about

he was doing coke and fucking waitresses and and he was three months behind on paying me and I told Joe I go hey I'm going out of town I was going to do stand up

in Moscow Idaho I go so plausible deniability here's the key to the back it's Yankee weekend it was right we were right near the kingdom sea hawks i mean uh mariners yankees you're not you're not going to the bank on saturday money so you go friday money saturday money sunday money damn you're thinking all this through oh fuck yes i am and that is easy 60 000 damn easy and we also there was this guy who

was working there a bartender who had the fucking worst herpes and and joey called him the lip oh he was like is the lip gonna be there i'm like yes the lip's going down and he goes in and you go all shit the lip and he fucking great but so it's

Frankie the lip and that's what he called it Franklin the lip and and so the simpler the nickname the battery too so good

he was so good Joey's top notch at that shit but I was like you know where the safe is and he was like fuck yeah so I have it, we set it up, he goes in the back,

we make it look like it get broken in. He gets up to the safe in the office, and it's gonna be heavy. It's a safe, safe anyways, whether something's in there or not. He's not picking that shit up. So he tried to roll it down the stairs. There were wooden stairs.

It went straight. Oh my gosh, straight through the stairs. Woo! Right? So now he's got this huge hole in the stairs. He, he's rolling a rectangle. Yeah, dude. A rectangle that probably weighs 300 pounds.

Fuck, yes. And so he told me they got out the back. They finally get at the back, him in the lip, get it out the back. And they opened the door, and in the alley, there's a cop car. And they just stopped, and the cop waved at him. They waved back, and the cop drove out. And I was like, okay. So he calls me, he goes, what's the combination?

And I was like, I got to tell you, I don't know. he was like what i go well i don't they don't give me the combination to the safe he's like what the fuck are we how we supposed to and i was like let me see if i can find combination or how we get it open so from one of the other managers i did get the combination we are counting money dude i can't wait these people owe me so much fucking money and fuck them and let call me when you open it 27 dollars in quarters shut the fuck up the crook had gone in for us and emptied the safe the Coke guy. Oh my

and just left the quarters because he didn't want him. So we got 20 cents and I go what am I in for 30 he was like fuck off yeah but we were count he was like it's so fucking heavy Josh Wolf it's so fucking heavy we are fucking

and we were too we were already counting the coat he calls you full name oh he full names me all the time he still he Josh Wolf's me it's so full name of Joshua, but he was like, we're going to get so much fucking coat, Joshua, but did not wait and $27 later, dude.

He was so bad. What happened to safe? What happened legally? Nothing. Because he was such a criminal. The guy had already stolen the money. Yeah. So, I mean the owner. He didn't want to call any attention to it at all. They did assume

it was me. Wait, the guy who owned the place stole the money? Yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, he stole the money. The guy who owned the place beforehand, Well, he was one of two owners. Yeah. The other owner was a lefty catcher in the Orioles organization.

He went by Swanee. And he and this dude, both crooks, both alcoholics, both drug addicts, both thieves. Great dudes. But they had through great parties. Swanee used to throw, we used to do when, so when the, when the Yankees were in town, they would hang out, they would end up in the basement where the comedy underground was. And we, I'm not going to mention who it was, but we were doing ecstasy with these guys. and one of the Yankees was like,

hey, if I take this pill, I'm not playing tomorrow. And they were like, do it, you pussy, do it. He did not play the next day. Yeah, that's when the fucking money comes in the mind. Dude, he did not play that. The betting, the gambling? This is the shit. Yeah.

This is how you beat the fucking, yeah, when you already have the inside information. Yeah. Well, I was too whacked out to give a shit. But, but pre phones, those guys felt so free to do any of that shit. Right. Where they were like, yeah, well, hang out with a bunch of strangers.

We don't know and do drugs because who cares. Yeah, who's going to find out about it. That's going to believe. That's right, that's right. And their whole life was just being an athlete, a great athlete where everyone was like, they're partying. Back then? Yeah. Yeah, they were out at the bars after the games.

Yeah. Fuck. It was, it was kind of crazy. Golden years. For sure, do the golden years. Did you, because, yeah, you didn't, did you ever go out and party with any of the, any of your sports heroes or anything like that? McNabb and. a fucking

Thorel Owens. No shit? Yeah, that blue martini in the old city. Damn. Philadelphia. We had a little VIP section. What year is this?

Oh, 2002. Tio's jacked. Too old. I mean, this is when the height of his power. Tia's jacked. Yeah.

And this is when Tio was doing the fucking crunches in the South Jersey fucking parking lot. Still jacked, by the way. Still, have you seen videos? videos of him running 40s?

Ridiculous. With fucking he's not human I saw. Yeah. Was he running like a 4-7 or some shit like that? Yeah.

He's got to be close to 50. He's bionic. Blacks don't drink. They don't what? They don't drink. Blacks don't drink? No. They'll have a couple Heinikins.

And some Hennessy. No? It's not. It's not heavy. You'll know when a black guy is heavy in the drinking because they're on the porch. I don't drink.

I don't drink. I know you don't. Yeah. That's why you're a great. What's your 40? I'll race you right now. You want to throw a football? Tell me about your fucking torn rotator cuff.

How are you getting that shirt? Wow. I don't know why. There is zero chance. If I went out and sprinted right now, no more than three steps before I pull something. Yeah, I think I could beat you backwards in a 40. Zero percent chance right now I could go beat you.

You run a backwards? backwards I'm running I'll beat you backwards and a 40 not 40 yards is a lot

backwards it is but once you get momentum 20 yards is tough once you start 40 I don't know who you get money on backwards 40

forwards 40 he saw his legs you're on mushrooms he's drinking we just smack heads it changes it changes the odds

it changes the odds the race the race is 10 minutes we're just rolling around get up you son of a bitch finish lines right there you fucking queer you gotta put out like a new version

of tortoise in the hair I think I beat you just you under a tree I'm good here give it to Josh give it to Josh it's got to be 40 yards at some point I can't imagine

you would beat me backwards No, I'm seven far But I think I would Would you pull a muscle If you sprinted right now? No You wouldn't? No

I'm running I'm doing I'm doing things You're sprinting Yeah There's a difference Between running and sprint Dude I sprint with my pup

My dog fucking Save it from my mouth You dig Dude The fuck Just so you know That's not gonna smoke No

Yeah It's all mushrooms Yeah oh it's musty yeah my parents live in the mushroom capital of the world and during these summer months the the the waft of shit comes down from the farms they get the manure going is that right yeah you go outside my my my father's patio in like july through september would your dad ever take mushrooms off my father would do anything would your father be fun on mushrooms yes my dad would be fun on anything except fart in his mouth he'd fucking kill you fucking kill you yeah he would

fucking kill you dude you don't think that would crack something loose in your dad fart in his mouth well that for sure but mushrooms but mushrooms but mushrooms your dad i feel like my dad's done it all i feel like the 50s i feel like the 50s he's a potting he is yeah has that calmed him down uh yeah well he's 77 he just got his kidney removed yeah he's calmed down but he's still a fucking animal i shouldn't say this but like he's he's not he's not keeping up with what he should be doing. He's not slowing down. He smoked for like 60 years. And now he doesn't smoke.

He vapes, but I think everybody thinks he's smoking still. And he's hiding the booths. He's still I got here this far. Three kids are growing up. They're out of the fucking nest. Yeah. I'm going to sit downstairs. I'm going to play pool. I'm going to watch TV. I'm going to watch the Phillies.

And get fucked up on some jarred wine. Yeah. It's the life. I... What are you taking away from? No. I'm going to be smoking weed and doing mushrooms. for as long as I can. I told my wife, I go, if I hit 80, I'm trying heroin.

Yeah. 80 feels like a good. You ever boof? I'll just boof it. Nah. Snort it. I don't. I don't.

But you also got to test it now. I want to shoot it. I like the ketamine. Ketamine's okay. I have ketamine and lollipops. Yeah. And I do ketamine in the air spray. I've done that a bunch with a bunch of our friends.

Yeah. I like the ketamine. I was getting tossed around a little bit. With the mushrooms. Yeah. Ketamine lollipops, that's like, that's hospital type shit, right? It's awesome. Pharmaceutical grade, that's heavy stuff.

Yeah. Any lollipop, heavy stuff. It's so good with the mushroom is so fucking good. That's insane, Josh. You're doing ketamine with mushrooms. Yeah. I'm a grown-up. Are you?

Yeah. I know what I'm doing. I'm doing grown-up stuff. Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's crazy. But so that to me is controlled. It's the Coke and shit like that.

No, I do agree with that. I could see the ketamine help in the mushrooms a little bit, though. I could see that. A little heavy left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little distance. Yeah, it's like the Waymo. It's like the Waymo for the...

I'll get you where you need to be. No driver. But, dude, you know, that... I feel like it's like putting sunglasses on in your mind or something. Yeah, actually, that's a great way to describe. Yeah. Dude, the Coke is like... It was never my thing.

You know Jacob had to go to... Rehab. Rehab for that. Yeah. And so it was crazy to me that he ended up in that lane because... Well, you're also a different... Your generation, you're 55, so, like, you weren't in the 80s. No.

Because you were still a teenager. Yep. 90s. And then 90s was like experimental drugs, mostly marijuana, ecstasy. Yeah. In college, it was all ecstasy. Every weekend we talked about double-stacked Mitsubishi. We got smiley face.

We got Nike's. we got that's every single weekend for like dude for three years every fucking Friday and Saturday and then I have engineering and you just get fucking crushed yeah on fucking ecstasy for two days every fucking weekend for three years that was it and then you had like coke friends but like that they were weird when did come back though I it's for me was like I think like 2006 to 2008 was when it was like popular amongst everybody instead of just like creeps right. That's when it became like a social

fucking truck You know what I mean Yeah I'm not a creep I'm not a creep I remember I'm a creep You're not a creep I remember it in high school

Because that times out right That the years below me In high school We're doing it In high school Yeah And I remember being like That's fucking

Because we were just smoking We didn't drink Yeah if you pass it Yeah It's weird to go back And I remember yeah Like the sophomores And juniors were like

Doing Coke And I remember being like Where do you even find that shit I can't imagine Being that age And wanting to, I loved, so this is the thing I don't like about Coke is it doesn't make me more creative. I like ecstasy, I like acid, I like mushrooms because they make me more.

Yeah. My brain expands. Yeah. But in defense of your son, it's, it's all genetic. It's all how you're chemically wired. Agreed. So like, for me, weed and mushrooms temporarily make me, I don't know, fucking weird and off. Whereas I'm speed dependent.

where like you give me a line of coke I'm creative I'm fucking fun I'm a blast yeah creative with the coke no I'm jerking off the whole yeah but I'm creatively

jerking up I'm doing back stuff I'm going through the legs no but yeah it's still like it's not debilitating where some people are just like my father he he was

he started growing weed in in at his house in Westchester because he could hide it under like the tree line. Because the farms were close, they would have these biplanes for like cops and patrol of ATF

and all that stuff looking through these farms for big grows. And this is like when they moved there in 98, when I got, I was the youngest, so when I went to college, they moved out to the country. And he started growing in the backyard.

And he said he put a plane out there and he fucking stalked. So when he was working, I would come home and visit my parents. I'm like, I'll cut the lawn. I'll help you out there. that and then I call him at work and he goes what the fuck you bother me for

and I can't find the weed whacker string he goes it's in the fucking garage just go in the garage you'll see it's on the left end side stop here come on I gotta go I gotta go and I'd hang up the phone and I went to go find this wire and I found a bag of weed that was like there was a duffel

of fucking buds all from his plant I didn't know this I didn't know he was grown so I call him I go hey dad and he goes what what the fuck is the problem I go I go I found the string and he goes well then cut the fucking lawn

and no no dad dad I found the string you hear me and he goes I look don't tell your fucking mother let me tell you something I grew a plant

got I control I'm like dad this is like sell are you selling I got it under control like a real like a duff dude it was like I'm not kidding

Josh it was like a bag like this I don't know weight that like you would know it was a crazy amount of weed like it would probably be like three kilos or whatever packaged got to be like yeah over a pound

crazy way over a pound I'm like this is your fucking this is your Sunday smoke this is going to last for 10 years are you selling he goes it got out of control you got to control your mother found them so he used to grow it next to the tomato plant in the center of the backyard they have an acre in the backyard

and you have this fenced off for the deer to protect his tomatoes and his lettuce he go fucking nuts about deer and rabbits and he started growing weed in between the tomato plants and my mom still at that time her fucking needs would work and she'd pick around

just trying to bust my dad's balls and found the weed so he goes I put it in the tree line the fucking thing sprouted like you wouldn't believe I don't know what to do with it so I just packaged it up and I'm hiding it

don't fucking tell her it's so fun what did he do with all that weed you fucking smoked it does he still have it no how was the weed did you try it no

you never tried I smoked my dad once yeah how was it it's also funny because isn't that like somewhat of a complicated process yes it's a very complicated process yeah no it just grew and i yeah just so he's got to hang the fucking thing upside down yeah yeah yeah and then i went through the other clean it up and i know what the fuck it's hard to keep those plants bug free yes and it's in the fucking woods yeah how and that's when i start going look i know you know way more than you're telling me you're very good at this yeah

You know, you should look at the other phones. He had the readers on. Yeah. He didn't just stumble upon a bag of wheat. My dad closed a dinosaur book and he was like, we'd die. He's fucking weed die. No more T-rexes tonight. That's crazy to find a bag that big of his dad's weed.

My girl smokes and she gets like really good stuff. And on his birthday, we packaged like we got him a nice little gift. Got him a couple nice bottles of wine. we got him like this small box of like chocolate covered cherries and then we hid she pre-rolled some really fucking the hard shit where she smokes with him still and we put it in this little box and my mom's like what you get what's you get and he goes and he doesn't know what's in the fucking box yet my dad goes open box go dad wait wait wait wait wait wait he told mom goes away and does she not know he smokes yeah that's out of sight out of mind yeah don't ask don't tell

she knows but like he goes downstairs where you know we know we know We were playing darts to be my brother with my nephew And the trash can underneath the dartboard This is just after you got a surgery The dart falls out of the fucking out of the board My nephew threw Drops in the trash can Look in the trash can pull some fucking

Some napkins up There's an empty bottle of fucking bourbon A big wad of fucking cigarettes I thought you're going to tell me he jerked off in the napkins Just a big load of coffee I was like wow He really is living free Living free in the basement

Just Just empty bags of coke No dude you can't You can't unwire a man like that He's he's old school He's he's done and seen it all Good for him By the way this is what I love the most about

My wife said to say hello by the way Yeah But what I love the most about her Is that she Does not try to change She knows I'm a smoke weed She's no I'm going to take mushrooms And walk around the house like a fucking dummy

But she doesn't get on me about any of that shit because it's what I do it's key to happiness yeah yeah it really is she's never once been like hey I'm gonna need you to stop well she didn't meet you at 10 right so it's like this is who I am and that's the struggle for most I think relationships where it's like how much are you gonna push against me to the point that I resent this and then that resentment becomes a stain on a relationship that you can't get out of she told me which she's so much smarter than me but I asked her after we got married, I'm like, so does the weed bother you? She goes, it would be a real dick move for me to marry you

and then ask you to change who you are. Yeah, that's a good woman. She was like, that is not fair to you. Yeah. To be like, okay, now we're married, now I need you to change these things. Yeah, I hate your laugh. Stop doing that. Yeah. Hey, that thing that you do, yeah, don't do that part anymore.

We'll fuck a lot more if you stop that. Also, change your shirt, you're gay. I like how you point your toe when you cross your legs. I'm stretching my fucking quads from running. Stop it. That's what the toe points about. Yeah. Yeah, I got a little...

I'm stretching. Well, guys, this is great. Do you want to tell you where I got this shirt? Vegas. I got it in Greece, buddy. Wow. Damn. Makes it a little better, right?

You know, let me... Yeah, yeah. That's nice. I like it. I complimented as soon as you walked in. Listen, dude. The hat's throwing it off. Yeah.

You look like you fell through a fucking lost and found right now, dude. I know. The whole outfit is... The hat is a little... Crazy. But my hair right now is crazy, dude. That's great hair. Yeah, it's a great head of hair.

But it's gray and Doc Brownie right now. That's great. Yeah. You got to wear less of a hat. Yeah, you know what? This is the year... You think so? She was like, I'm done with a hat.

I said, me too. Yeah. I'm just done with it. One's less than me in short hair. I can tell you why I wear a hat I the first three or four episodes of Chelsea lately I didn't wear a hat yeah and I'd known Chelsea forever and she said to me after like the third episode she was hey cover up that five head she goes like she goes I really hate your face without your hat she goes go ahead and put the hat back on it I was like

all right deal yeah I really respected that about her dude is that she at one point in my life when I the heaviest I've ever been I was like 197 yeah fat and I wasn't seem too bad for me for my frame I'm 190 what how how it's 30 pounds heavier than I am right now

yeah for me that's not what are you 57 58 fuck off did you wear it shitty 510 was it all in one spot yeah that's a healthy way yeah yeah but it wasn't it wasn't healthy for where I was at yeah it wasn't a good

197 yeah yeah yeah yeah And I'm walking up the stairs at work and I just hear her behind me go, ugh. I'm going to turn around. She goes, your ass is so fucking gross. Get your shit together. And I was like, you're a good friend, right?

You did me with one of those friends. Yeah, those friends are good. Yeah. Yeah, if the ass goes, you got to fix it. For sure. Yeah. If you feel like, you know, I feel like if a dude's ass is fat and gross,

you're overweight well this is coming from the fucking it's the last thing to get because it's the ass of a donkey dude this guy it's flawless I don't know I get fat ass but I'm starting to lose it don't get in close

no don't that's old man asses I know first of all you'll fall over that thing is balancing you it's your front cranium and your back ass you got to stay balanced but that's

I'm saying you lose that you get a fat yeah if you get a flat fat ass damn old man ass is one of my biggest fears yeah that flat yeah that's my pop pass shump ass we call that is a fucking real bummer yeah it's just it's like it goes you're back you're back

to your camps the guy's got nothing it looks like a stack of pancakes it slipped yeah and it's just kind of and then just an asshole yeah there it is there yeah gay Wow.

All right, boys. Yeah. Do you have anything to plus, Joshua? Oh, I have a special that comes out, August 12th. Let's go. On my YouTube channel. It's called The Campfire Special. And I do a podcast with my son called Hey Man

and Comedian, joshwulf.com for tour dates. Fuck you. It's sick, dude. Thank you, Joshua. I love you. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for having me again. See you.

That's great.