Stuff Island - Lemon Party - Stuff Island #239

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Lemon Party Podcast joins Stuff Island Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code STUFFISLAND. That’s promo code STUFFISLAND. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #adChubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code STUFFISLAND at https//:www.chubbiesshorts.com/STUFFISLAND #chubbiespod Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, thanks for listening, guys. We've also got a cooking show. It's called Look at This, so go check it out. We're in the middle of it. I'm also going to be, yeah, we're making a little ragu and some pasta. It's delicious. What? Why do you say little like that?

It's a ragu. It's a little ragu. It's a nice ragu. It's a nice ragu. Why don't want to sound too onerous? Owners? Yeah, yeah. You slept well, huh?

Also, come see me at Baltimore this weekend. Anyway, this episode's brought you by square space. They're not going to have that word. You ever been the ball tomorrow? Kidding me? That was a warm up. This city keeps it weird. It keeps us alive.

Yeah, we're ready to sprint right now. How can you guys? Was the wedding weird? What wedding? Ben went to a wedding. It's kind of where we're here. It's kind of weird. Yeah.

Everything's so weird here. We were at the Capital One Cafe and we were like, what a weird. And God, that Kava is weird. What a huge Kava. Austin's a little too weird for us. There's so many artists at the Cava.

Look, in fairness to Austin, they did say keep it weird. You know what I mean? Yes. They didn't just come out and go, we're weird. They said keep it weird. And they didn't.

And they didn't. What? Yeah, they're kind of the same, but I think Austin was the keep it weird place. They were the keep it weird place. Which meant literally don't let happen what exactly happened. Yeah.

Pacific Northwest is all fucked. I feel like Portland is still weird. Portland is very strange. Yeah, we just did a show there and Ben almost got thrown off a bridge by homeless people. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Like you had the cold 911 one one today.

She got fucking attacked. By who? By who? Just some fucking creature. She got nine. She won on a squirrel or something? She is. We got a black squirrel in the neighborhood.

Holy shit. We had a squirrel, stole a knot. You just say that so they get here fast. No, she, the guy was begging in the middle like a four-lane fucking busy road. It wasn't like where you could post up. And then she didn't look at him. And the guy lost the shit,

started pounding on the window. So she had to go over and bird. Jesus. Jesus. And then she had to like force herself into another line of traffic that was going too fast. She called the bigies. They're like... They're like...

You gotta get them out of there. You're comfy, huh? I like it. I like it. I like it. This is gonna be your third hour today? Yeah, we can do... Yeah, you can do it.

We can pause all day. Are you kidding me? That's why we're in the seven-hour streams. We're like coal miners basically. Kidding me? You do so... seven-hour streams? I'll go seven hours, I don't care. Oh, my God. He doesn't hear people.

That's why he just keeps talking. He doesn't carry the stress and weight of thinking about the other person. No response needed for bad. That's crazy. I don't know what I could do for some. I mean, drink. You could just watch me drink. Yeah, yeah. I just watch, like, a really big fat people like eat food on Instagram. Oh, okay.

That's nice. It's a nice little blank. A lot of the stream. Are they, like, really good at it? No. They're fat. They're pros. He loves Legends. They put their 10,000 hours in it.

You know how hard it is to get that fucking obese? How much effort and work it takes? Like an actual, like, it's like putting like shifts in. I get anxiety when to have a full plate. I'm like, this is a fucking... I know. I know. I'm going to have to digest this.

Piss blood. I've always said they're athletes. They are. More so than... Power lifters. There's a big argument. Well, they are power lifting. It's just...

Yeah. It's power consumption. Yeah. They're lifting pizza to their mouth. Powerfully. What was this power lifter argument? He says they're athletes. Yeah. He said they're better athletes than who?

Golfers? No, no, no, no. Deadlifting 1,000 pounds is more oppressive than hitting a hole in 1. I'll agree with that. Okay. Yeah, sure. Deadlifting 10,000 pounds. I've seen retarded guys hit hole in 1.

It's mostly lot. Mostly retards. I've literally seen it. It's their bed frame before they eat. I go, but can he hit a hole in one? No, he's chewing on the club. No, I've literally seen like a three-foot-tall Filipino guy, like hit a hole in one. No, it's thought we, the summary was it was more impressive for the power of it, not the athleticism.

So then we were going into all these different sports of which are more athletic. Yeah. And just power. I mean, yeah. And simple movements. Golf's a sport, but I have a hard time coming around to even that. That's because it's so quick. It's crazy.

I need you to sweat. You need to sweat more. Are you fucking going to take this? But it's also dynamic. I know. I understand. But I think keeping down like 70 hot dogs is pretty impressive. Keeping down 70 hot dogs is more impressive to me than lifting a thousand pounds.

Okay. Keeping down like 70, 80 hot dogs. Oh, God. Way. Yeah. I saw a Barry Weiss did that. She did it in 60 minutes. They did it.

And then they gave her CBS. She was a hot dog. Contest, people are very bitter about it. The new 60 minutes is you see how much food she can eat in the hour. There should be a Patreon for these eaters, competitive eaters, just to see their toilet. Like, I want to see what they dump out. I want to see that elephant coming out. True. Yeah. Oh, my God. Can you imagine?

What's Kobayashi doing with fucking 100 dogs? He's got a dump like a fucking... Yeah, a little BTS shows... Yeah. 20-yard dump. It's not all glamour. It's not all glamour. You got to shoot the funds. You don't see the hours

putting up shots. I'm showing them down in your room. It's not. There's a smash cut to Kobayashi walking into the Koba cabana. It's not all this. I take sheds.

He's got to stop by a Starbucks and ruin that before he goes in a nice place. But I think that's their practice. I was trying to learn how to eat more. And I watched the joy chest that master class. Yeah.

Your face stole me. I got my money's worth. And apparently they were saying like once a week he will eat like three cubic feet of celery just to practice expanding his stomach without killing himself essentially. They do water too.

Yeah, a lot of water. Yeah. Dude, did you see? Well, celery is mostly water. I think Tommy might be the only. I think it's like no calories. Do you watch nasty stuff? Oh, dude.

Hold on. Are you going to say the bitch that got thrown off the fucking bridge? Oh, let's all we've been talking. We can't stop looking at it. I was going to talk about Fron and Abraham. Who got top? But we can talk about that. For our Abraham, there was a video leaking her ever taking the big shit.

Yeah. Yeah. And spin on her tities and stuff. Yeah, it was great. Oh, that was a huge lot. But I don't, I don't, I don't shit like that.

No hemorrhitz. That's what I'm saying. I don't like when it gets sexual. That's why you get sexual. I don't like when it gets sexual. I just want to see the shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't see them. I don't want that. I don't want that. I want Jack Benny music to be playing while you take a dumb. Spitting on your tits is disgusting. Show me that log pulling out of your ass. I'll be fucking sexual.

Show me your stars. That's how I would watch that movie. I'd be like, whoa. What the fuck? Well, the thing was the shit was so quick you wanted to put like a radar gun on it or something. Yeah. And that thing closed off.

Yeah, it was like Mariana Rivera shit. Star Trek door. Yeah, yeah. Just opened up. Clean his whistle, no wiping. Luke Skywalker's hanging on her ass. Like even the

Ben. Yeah. Even the Dubai guy who bought that was like, wow, that's really impressive. Wait, so did she film that for content? No, I think it was, she was sending it to somebody in, like, Saudi Arabia or something like that. It had to be. She sent it to the guy who did Mandalay Bay. She emailed it to him.

She was sent it to the Mandalay Bay shooter. The real one. The real one. Not paddock, the real guy. Dude, yeah, if I, she started to spend on, I would start shooting. He's probably having a nice time up there. Yeah. She starts spitting on her tits.

He's like, everyone's, yeah. time. Fuck, contribute. Go, go, go, go, go. Yeah. No, there's this video I saw today.

This girl's going, uh, oh, we all saw it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen every angle. No, but Chris doesn't know. Oh, yeah, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it.

He's a lucky man. She's going, she's going, she's going, she's going, bungee jumping in the, in fucking, obviously Brazil. Oh, I saw a thumbnail, yeah. And there's three dudes. There's two in the front,

the one in the back with the legs. And they literally just throw her like a paper airplane. And you can see in the corner of the screen. brilliant foreshadowing. You can see a, like, Looney Tunes rope not tied to anything. Just on the floor. Yeah. Not tied to anything.

And they threw her into a fucking river. And everyone ran after. Two guys got caught in, like, the forest running for their lives because they're, like, all going to be charged with manslaughter. Yeah. No, they, yeah, they arrested all three of them. And they just said that she was actually alive when they found her. Are you kidding me? But she died later, yeah. All the

internal organs exploded. I don't know. She, like, fell or something. So she died. She died from falling. She kept her eyes open. The doctor goes she died from falling. That'd be the worst to be in that situation and the first person to come upon you just goes, no way.

Well, if I was there, I'd be like, well, she's obviously dead. Like, I have to kill her with a big rock or something. Yeah, yeah. We ever get and found a dying cat, like on the road or something? Don't say you'd kill a fucking kid. And you have to kill it? I never did it, but I'd watch other people do it.

Oh. Yeah. I knew it was suffering. Handing the rock to someone else, we have to. We have to. You have to do it. We have to do it. Our God will send you to hell.

I accidentally Watch a fair Abraham shit on your phone Yeah She's that fair shit in its mouth You had to choke it to know No I couldn't stop laughing every angle Was she nervous? Was she like giggly and nervous

Before she didn't know No she's just fucking all excited And she's just and she's totally She's completely relaxed So she has no clue She thinks that the rope is going to eventually pull her I've never seen a woman less anxious About the bungee jump she's about to do

It was maybe the purest The purest death, ever. She was totally, like, loose. High tolerance for action. Yeah. You know? Yeah. She does crazy things.

Oh, yeah. I mean, she, unfortunately, you know, she did pass away. Yeah. I looked into it. Unfortunately. You know what that really proved is, like, the helmets are bullshit. What's the helmet for? What's the helmet doing?

Because we saw what. happens. If it doesn't catch you. If it doesn't catch you. Yeah. She literally made like it. I'm sorry. Yeah. She made like a wily coyote like impact too. Like it was like a cloud the outline of her body. It was insane. It was insane. But it was we were in our hotel room. It's like the second day we've been

here and we all wake up. We're like, did you see? And we're like, the lady get thrown out the building. Yeah. And then we guys did you see that Oliver Tree died? Yeah. There's video of that too. It's horrible. Anyway, let's start our day. Breakfast tacos. Let's keep it weird. Keep Austin weird

You guys have a dance I saw You gotta keep it weird I just Keep it weird Hey Keep it weird Baby baby

Hey Chicken baby I was I was just very drunk Walking through 6th Street And I was just like This is what Daniel Johnston would have wanted

It's also so funny to be This is weird at all You call this weird this weird. This is fucking weird. You're walking around with a far side collection. This is weird. God damn it.

Trying to turn people. Now this is weird. Have you seen cow tools? That's weird. But it was right. I was walking behind them. Two amoebas with a family. That's weird.

They don't talk to each other like that. It's antpromorphism. It's funny. But I was walking behind them and there was just like a taco truck owner. He was like, what are you like gay guys doing? And that's like, keep it weird. I like to just play into being the cornyest guy of all time, sometimes. He bought a baseball hat that says tacos on it. I bought a hat this morning at a, it's a corporate coffee shop called Revolution. Revolution. Revolution.

Revolution. Revolio. Revolio. Yeah. I love that place. It all starts here. With the beans. Yeah. It's called Revolution. If a homeless guy walks him, and they'll shoot him in the face. Revolution. What kind of beans we talk, Chris? We got to cut that? What beans? The manager. They were selling a bunch of hats that were like, one said, one said y'all. Yeah.

Wacky. Fucking weird. That's weird. Fucking weird. One said Austin. Yeah. Fucking kind of crazy. And the other said tacos.

So, of course, I went with the tacos. I'm a weirdest of a bunch. I'm a wild man. Yeah. You are a lot. You did turn to me and go, shit, I get it. it. Like, should I be bad? I actually haven't spent, like, even

30 bucks, I'm like, this is completely worthless. But it just felt right. Are you, Buckees? No, Revolution. Oh, you really weren't Revolution on? Yeah, we're right down there. That's where we plan our riffs for the day.

That's our hub. That's our hub. We get the riffs cooking. It's your Riff office. Yeah. I like that. It's just, because we have scripted rifts on the podcast. Yeah. We scripted every show.

We meet every morning. Yeah. We write every episode. It's all about lattes and laughing and tacos. Yeah, dude. We do. We do zip zips. steps up.

A macho margarita. Dude, I saw a fucking an improv troupe woman up behind stage and it's... I'd rather watch that woman fall

to the face of the earth. I know. It's like watching every day. Or that bitch taking a dump. Or for Abraham taking a shit

while getting thrown off. And the shit's behind her. I'd pass that fucking sick hat right in the fucking head would arrive. They throw her up the cliff and the ship is behind her like that James Bond scene

where he's diving into the plane. from like golden eye I like that it drops right before she goes off yeah it's going the whole way and as she as she hits it goes right back in her ass

it's still warm I held her shit they tied the road to the shit by accident the shit was fine came back up came back up a guy grabbed They don't need it.

Keep it weird. Keep it weird. Keep it weird. They go, oh, we got the turn. Fucker. The dog was so big they thought the body was still on it. It's like when you're fishing, you catch a boot. You catch a log and it's not a bass.

Like, oh, it's a big one. Oh, my God. Oh, I got a cable. Just came out of that one? Dude, I walked in and my dad Eat my mom's pussy and that Really? Whoa.

I would sit there and make popcorn than see this improv troupe Do their whole... Where was this improv troupe at here? No, it was at the comedy festival in Houston, the riot. Yeah, but then did they go out there and just crush?

Well, I go, I... I don't know that. You were long gone. I didn't want to kill myself that night. You sex trafficked yourself in Houston that night. Put yourself on a shipping container.

Someone fuck my. Someone take me. Come in my eyes. I just saw the worst thing. It's just a stranger pissing on my face. You go, oh, thank God. Oh, God.

Just make you go away. Can I ask you about your dad eating your mom's pussy real quick? Because that's a crazy. Was it like him like laying completely supine? Yeah, you know that scene in Star Wars? Which scene?

Where he gets stuck. The one where the guy's... He gets frozen. He gets frozen. You ever seen that Starburst? That's in the new Mandalorian Grogu. Is he a Grogu? First one.

Like the one from like 75 or some shit. Yeah, the original. He's like the little army action figure. When Hans Sol got frozen. When Hans Solo gets frozen in that fucking gold door or whatever. Yeah, yeah. He was underneath the blanket. Oh my God.

And he just didn't move. And the blanket, you know, like a fucking, like a chalk line around a dead body. They acted like you were a raptor. his body and his head's just right there. She goes, Tom, get out. And I was like, I don't know. How old three?

Oh, man. I think I was like six or seven. Is that why you're so into making food? My dad told me everything. My dad, my dad was young. My dad had a taste. He loved to eat this guy.

He's making a little surferito down now, my mom. Yeah. They called him Jimmy to eat. I'm making a mirror paw on my mom's push. Did you ever talk to him about it? I brought it up. Yeah. They didn't bring it up.

I mean, when did you bring it up? Like 20 years later? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we always talk about like... You bring it up at eight. He beat us with a belt and like we'll talk about that.

And he's like, I'm talking about everything then. And then my other brother has to come and go, Dad, you're not going to admit that you used to hit us with a fucking belt. We flop around in the bed like a, like a fish on a dock. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. You know, we'll talk about that? And he was in denial about it? If I hit you with a belt, you wouldn't be alive.

He's being real macho. Yeah, yeah. He moves from physical to psychological abuse. Oh, did I? Were you there? Yeah. You got pictures? Did I?

You got a polo where that? Yeah. Oh, you remember it much more than I do because it ruined your life. Oh, okay. That's just why you act like such a faggot all day? This is why you do your podcasts? Why are you talking shit about me and mom? Yeah, because I beat you like a slaggot.

That's why you play with your little toys? My dad, that's my car. Four to your mayor, playing with toys! Out in Austin! I'm just trying to be weird! You're keeping it weird down there, I need. No son of mine. He called, he called to the eye.

He'd be like, I'm getting calls. You're not weird at all. I got pals down in Austin. They say, you're not weird. You're not weird enough. My friends said you're the most normal guy in awesome. My friends, they say this term normie about you. So you're an NPC and some shit. You're fucking, what's going on with you?

Come on, be abstract. I raised you better. I raised you better. I raised you better. I raised you better than that. I raised you weird, kids. You're an honest, talking. You're supposed to be weird.

You're supposed to be fucking weird now. Talk to me about you day. What are you doing? I get up and I go get a call. Not weird. Already not weird. Not zany, nothing. Here's what you're going to wake up, you're going to get a tea.

You wear a silly hat when you do it? Nah, dad, just a t-shirt. You know what goes well with machas? Sucking your own dick. That's weird. Gave you a second dick? No, I can't. No, shame.

I should try it now, though. Sad, you never should even try it, huh? Yeah. But that's like just a kid thing, because if you actually do that, you are kind of like autonomously gay. Yeah. I wouldn't do that if you know if I could. I would definitely not do that if I could.

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Look who showed up in the ballroom! Somebody found he woke up. There he is. You know people say, like, in college, like, they kiss a guy and they're like, I tried it or whatever? No. Or, like, they might give a guy a hand job, and they're like, I never did anything after that. No.

People do that, though. Not me. But I sucked my own dick for, like, five seconds once. And then I was like, I feel like I experimented being gay with myself. I wasn't into it. I stopped. I was like, I'm not gay. And it also doesn't count.

because it's my own penis. Yeah. I slept with a transsexual by accident. I'm in. Really? How long did it take to realize? Yeah. But he's finished.

Not with this one, though. Well, you can. I guess you got it. What did you do? You're already tricks. Yeah. We're having a sidebar. He's a fuck.

How is he? I'm not really sure. Yeah, yeah. You already. There's five fucking people. It's not like if you stop now. You thought this was going to go off the rails. It's already over.

Yeah. Yeah. You got to commit. The audio is. gonna be bananas. I know. How good did they look? It sounds like a pack of black woman

in a fucking restaurant. We're just saying that like if you if you discover very quickly that you're having gay sex you know like by accident. Oh no no it was very good. Then you got you might as well just keep going. Yeah because you are.

No I made her finish. Yeah. Sure. I took it out and then I made her. Was she full all the way? Clean off? In her side. I got hit.

Wined down. Yeah. Wow. So your stock was in her ass? Oh. Oh, it's only one. Damn. It was like air hockey.

You fucked that guy in the ass. That's so gay. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. Now that's what I like the hair. But if you're going to experiment, that makes sense.

You finish like a true lip. You got to dominate that pig. Like a finish. How did you get into a guy's ass so swiftly? she was probably busy that night how did you kill her after she left the bar open I walked right in

she didn't lock the door did they have like great fake tits and stuff she was so fucking hot and this is before that was a thing yeah right right right this is probably like 2010 Philly coming out of helium

yeah shows she walks across the street from the opposite side and she's so hot before there was education there was programs we didn't even know about programs This is before the conversion therapy.

16 years ago, you don't think you're getting fleeced. No, it's true. You got hit with the new generation. She crosses the street, asked me for a light. I'm like, I'm not even smoking a cigarette. So I'm like, this is weird. She's too hot for this. What was her race, by the way?

What was her race? She was like white Italian. Oh, okay. It's just funny to talk about it like it's like it's fishing emails or something. Yeah, yeah. We didn't know about it. Yeah. Tommy fucked us.

Tommy fucked us. Tommy fuck Sir La Tabla. It's a grandma sending 10 grand to a Somal. I got fucking caught. It's not your fault. She crosses the street, asks me for a light,

I'm not smoking. I go, this is weird. She's so hot. And I'm like, what are you doing? Tom, you sent a load of cum to a man's house. I thought it was a pussy.

That's a summary, yeah. That's a log line. You want to shorten up the story? Yeah, that's it. Man's ass is an Egyptian. And then I was like, look, at the time, it was like exiting a relationship that I lived with this girl. You were exiting a straight relationship at the time. Yeah.

That was a big change. And entering a man's ass. And then she goes, she goes, I got someone to go. I've told this is on the spot before. Sure. Finally. She goes, I got someone to go when she takes me this dirty bookstore. Yeah, yeah.

Right? And it's like dimly lit in the front, but the back lights are on. And there's two big bodyguards, like halfway through the distance of all the way in the back and all the way in the front. Because it's not supposed to be open. It's like 2.30, 3 o'clock in the morning. And she knocks. One of these fucking gorillas comes up, opens the door.

Rare books. And she just takes me all the way through the DVDs, the VHSs, the blow-up the holes. 16 years ago, there was blow-up dolls on the wall. And this was on, like, chestnut, too. I wasn't in cedey neighborhoods. I wasn't like northeast. I wasn't doing fucking weird shit. Yeah.

In West. I was going right down the fucking shoot. Sure. Yeah. In West Philadelphia. Born and raised. A trans girl. In men's assholes is where I used to play.

Takes me back to the, they got jerk off booths. Right? What's that mean? It's a standard. It's like a fucking. Oh, come on. Do you know the three?

You know what a jerk off booth? Is it like a pulpit that you masturbate? Yeah. It's a fucking, what are they called? Pete shows or whatever. It's, Ben, it's literally the three words he just said. Oh, no, no. It's a,

It's a jerk off group. It's like a Pope Mabelle that you can jack off inside. What's the same castle? It's like a, imagine like a, like a port-a-potty, but it's wood. A cube.

It's a good, it's a good structure. There's a little screen and you put money into it and you pick your points and then you just beat off. But you have to stand up and beat off. People aren't actually having sex.

You're like at a phone booth beating off. Can I ask? I've never been one of those. Did they have like a spittoon or something? Like you can go into? No, he's got a mop guy. He's a mop guy. So I go in there with her

It's dark I'm trying to get this machine to work I'm trying to fold these fucking bills Into the slot Because I want to watch porn while she blows me Sure Right And the fucking

Dollar's not taken The screen's fake And I start putting This time I had quarters And there was a quarter slot Yeah You know Now it's starting to sound

There's no apple fay You knew from the beginning Yeah Because you wanted to watch porn While Yeah You think subconsciously You were like

Something's off Like these shoulders are huge. We were doing key bumps. Oh, yeah. Let's start there. Right, all right. Let's lay the foundation. I was out of my fucking skull, horny's hell.

Got you, got you. Trying to get knocked around by this hot fucking guido. Yeah. Yeah. And I start throwing quarters in the machine and you can hear him rattle down the drywall and hit the floor. The baseboards. Yeah. The Jewish guys.

None of it. Out of his mouth open. An actual mouse. Grabbing all the nickels and dives and running out. Sorry. That's pretty low, bro. Pretty low, but. A scene as the mouth

I'm gonna Yeah, a juge pack man Yeah So anyway There's no Sorry, that's the landlord Continue You know, if you guys were telling a story

Like this, I'd listen We are! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry You think this is fucking easy? No, I know, you're gay I know, you're gay, I don't know, I understand You're gay, you're dead,

You're gay, your dad hit you with a belt, continue How much for the taco hat? I feel like I deserve it. Give me the car I was going to wear it, but I was actually embarrassed by what I would look like in front of you guys. No, you got to rock the taco hat. Oh, I'll rock it all night.

I rocked it on the last show. So then she just turns over, bends over, I get in there. She grabs my hammer and then throws it in her hole. I'm thinking she's choosing the right one. Yeah. I had a two. Yeah. Did you have a moment where you're like,

oh, it's not even like my birthday or whatever. Like, what a gift. I go right to the ass. No, no. You thought it was the pussy. Yeah, you couldn't see. Did you think the demand, did you think like the geometry of it was a little too easy?

No, because it's, dude, again, you're high, you're drunk. You're in a fucking foreign lane with two foreign lambs. You're in Westfield. And they're not all in the same place. I'm paying a hooker. I hear you.

Yeah. Have sex in a fucking dirty book story. Another sidebar. We do. We do 20 years just talking to each other. By the way, supposedly Eddie Murphy may have had some of the transactional prostitial. Oh, yeah? Do you know that?

No. One of them got thrown off of a balcony and killed after he fucked her. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy may have had transactional prostitutes killed, unfortunately. And he's the goat. He's literally the greatest. He thought he was someone in the clumps three. He got confused.

He thought he was fucking himself in a wig. It's a great name for a transatlified. A clob. I'll see you guys later. I'm going to go fuck the clop. You have been able to clop? It's like a slurred. It's an anti-trans slur.

It's actually one of the most painful things I've ever heard. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. So anyway, I'm knocking this brought around and she hits inside of my thigh. And I went, whoa, fuck was that? And I like kind of pushed her off. Your purse is, uh, sweet. you a cop is that a gun

you're in a while sorry sorry hey I know we're in Iraq what happened well there's three minutes between every fucking line

you pulled out your jar of acid and you threw it on her I pushed her off it got like I was like very shaky and violent at first

like what the yeah well of course that's rape yeah he raped you yeah it took advantage of me

did you eventually I like I'm sorry, but I'm not into that. Yes. And then just left. And then, no. No, no.

Went home with her. Three years. Three years go by. Now I finish and left. Yeah. But she has to know that that like can potentially just like, it is kind of a trickery. I'll be honest. Yeah.

She's fucking first generation of these people. From these people. She's straight off the boat. I was going to say first generation. Talon or trans? Yeah. She's straight up the SS trans. She's a bob.

They changed their gender at Ellis Island. Yeah. It was the Wild West, dude. Nobody knew their deal. 2010. Nobody knew the rules. How long did you keep that to yourself before you told another person?

You fucked you up, pretty bad, right? Because it was 2010 also. Yeah. I think I, ironically, I think I told him on Kumi's network. That's a good place to start with it, I guess. Really? Wow. Yeah.

What did Kumi make of it? He wasn't there. I just snuck in the back. Just to say that loud. Just like with this girl. I stuck in the back door, turn the mic on and just stand it out like, so I can sleep.

Yeah, in the spirit of Jim Norton, here's what I did. No, I get it. I get in the fetish now with like all these people like enjoying A lot of people are truned out, yeah. Yeah, sure. Good for them.

Do you believe in getting truned out? That's your fucking thing, huh? Truned. Do you think that's a thing? A truned? No, like truning out is you watch so much porn and you become trans. Oh, because you need something higher. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like being a runging. Roman emperor or something. Nothing's ever enough. You know, like, Nazi femboys where, like, guys will just dress up, like, maids and have cat ears and just watch porn for 18 hours a day. Oh, my God. It's like, uh, it's like, what you do in your stream?

I don't know if anyone specifically did. Yeah. He might just be making something. Did the Nazis do that? You know about, like, Nazi cat boy, fin boy shit? No. He keeps getting, yeah. He keeps getting, like, the thing out of the way. His head started.

I don't know. He's turning into Richard Dreyfus on Club random. Just going to be laying on the floor by the end of this. Yeah. With a broken. out of frame, but you still hear his voice. He'd be like, yeah, so they're pedophiles, but they're also rapists. Like, yeah, they're like Nazis, but they're not. You just see a mic arm going out of frame.

Wait, so the Nazis dressed up like cats and watch porn. Yeah, is this a thing? There's a huge thing. I mean, Fuentes had a whole... He used to hang out with a Nazi cat boy guy. Oh, okay. a Nazi catboy streamer, but yeah, this has been a big thing for, like, current Nazis. No, no, no, this has been a thing for probably seven or eight years.

Like, they dress up like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And current. We're not talking about what. We're talking about two specific types of Nazis. It's not a kid reading a history book with this section in bold face. These guys have been in twin for seven years. No, we meant more like, have they killed five thousand Jews by themselves. Yeah, yeah.

That's probably the total. Yeah. About five. How high do you go? Brace yourself. I'd have to put my caddiers on to get to that. It's like counting the jelly beans in the jar. Yeah.

You pull a big. You pull a big abacus out. You pour it out and you go, that's it. It's just less than a Halloween. Halloween Hall. I find more Snickers and a pillowcase. You say that's it? So when you ask us to do the show,

do you just say to yourself, we won't release an episode next week. I don't care. That's pretty, that's well-trodden territory. I don't care. You can't get any of this for that. No, yeah. It's talking about candy. Exactly.

Candy lamb. It's talking about candy. Candy. What is? Designing candy. Oh, I love the side candy. Like an Asian and Haribow dude, and you're making all these consistencies and textures.

That's a good fucking bit. Yeah, I would do like a Turkish delight thing, but like make it clear. Whoa. Yeah, I would do clear cubes of Turkish July. I don't like that it's murky. I'd like, because then you can play and you can read with it. So you put the candy on over the words and it makes it bigger. Oh, my God.

As you're reading it and then you can take a bite. You've thought about this. Dude, I believe that he thought about it. Yeah, I'm Calvin Candy, Wyan. Why? It's insane. You don't think about candy? I think about candy all day.

I ate Snickers last night at 3 a.m. and they watched me eat it. And they were like, you're really going to eat a whole stickers in the hotel room at 3 in the morning? Bro, that would crush a fucking king-sized sour gummies. You're a big candy guy? Oh, yeah.

I thought as a drinker, like you get your sugar from that. I always like, yeah, I think drinking takes over my... Well, no, I drink straight heavy shit that doesn't have a lot of sugar. Well, it all turns in. I like gummy bear. It's all, it's all, if you were to take

like a three week break, you'd be like insanely bourbon on the rocks is sweeter, yeah, but like, you know. But your body turns it into sugar. I'm just saying any alcohol you take turns into sugar, you don't seem to be.

That's so funny. You just wink at me. You're like. I'm trying to save some time for everybody else. You like gummy bear? Yeah, I'm pretty sure the pancreas processes it at all is like we buy it every time we get hammered,

we're just eating candy basically. Anyway, sorry. I like gummy bear. I'm not a big candy guy. I mean, either. I've just never cared, really. I never, yeah.

I was when I was a kid. I think I OD'd. Yeah. I think I OD'd on candy. Yeah, did too much. Yeah. Yeah. You were just weak.

I was putting, I was putting away boxes of sour belts, dude. Sour belts. Sour belts. That's that of those whole palette. Yeah, yeah. 400. That's why you don't appreciate the cooking on you.

All your tasteful are. No, they're back. I'm back. Were you just sucking them up from the floor to, like pasta? Yeah. Like waiting of the tramp? Yeah. Those are the straws.

Oh, the straws. Does Chris not appreciate a lot of your food? No, I love it. He does. I've seen the show. Josh doesn't do. That fucking. Josh doesn't get it?

That's not enough milk in it for him. He's just a very simple, man. Chicken fingers. Ketchup. I know. He doesn't love ketchup. He ate a plain hot dog the other day. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Why? What is he like eating? That's what you feed to a dog before you kill it. That's crazy. With a rock. Yeah. With a big rock.

It's healthy. Yeah. That's Texas, baby. You know how expensive dog food is? Yeah. Where's a rock? Hey, you think Austin, Texas is weird. Wait until you go to Midland, Texas.

It's even we're weirder. Midland. Midland, Abilene. Yeah. That's where you're from? They're from like Friday Night Lightsville. We're from like Abilene area. You're from Midland?

Yeah, well, we're technically born in Lubbock and we moved all over the panhandle and we ended up in Abilene, Texas. Do you think it's weird? Is it weird there? Abilene. Ben's got all that weird in terms of, they put a bunch of pressure on children to win games. She's great. really good yeah she's so hot

I love her I love her bangs the lady who there's a big hit country song yeah yeah I forget her name Lockley or something no Olivia Dean yeah is that it oh yeah yeah they're nothing like a southern bell with big cans I'd ignore it

there's this lady who's really hot in Dutton's rant and every scene she acts like she's gonna fuck her son but you don't know if she's just so hot you're projecting it under her. She's just like coping her son with homework in the breakfast table. She's like pushing her tits together. Oh my God.

She's like she's biting her wet. Can you send me it? He's biting her lip. I'm all right of bored. Can you send me this? You send him scenes from Dutton's ranch. I'm caught up, dude. On Paramount teeth. Yeah. I beat off that chick getting launched off a fucking bridge. You came before she hit the ground.

Did anyone try to grab the rope? No, dude, everyone just... There's no rope. Everyone watches it like... Dude, they launched her with no bungee course. The rope stayed on the ground. They didn't move. They genuinely do it like they're...

They didn't hook it up. They're at the end of their shift at Chipotle and they're just like, yeah, beans, right? Like, no one cares. No one double checks anything. And there was three dudes. I've seen this done by when there's only one guy. The third guy has his hands...

He just watches it with his hands in his pockets. And then when they realize it's not attached, he just kind of looks over the edge, like... I imagine this is bad for us. Dude, they hold her up. So, like, that, that, that cord should be either connected to the back or the front. Somewhere. And you should see a lag.

Yes. It's why you're doing this. And they just... It looks like, like, something from, like, midsummer. Like, it looks like a voluntary, like, execution. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, that's why I laughed. You got to laugh.

I mean... You got to laugh. Yeah. Just really... If I forgot... I didn't... If I forgot to look up the road. If I forgot to look up the road.

Rope, I would definitely look over the edge, like, no, something'll... Something's gonna happen, right? That'll stop this. But somebody murder. You turn to her fiancer, you're like, listen, that's my first week. I love you so much.

Oh, it's Taco Tuesday. Here we go. We're keeping it weird. Keeping it weird. Keeping it weird, folks. City's fucking nuts. Koso and Margs. Yeah, I'm a bit of a freak.

dude we found this crazy bar the other day it has a patio and you can watch tv that's fucking nuts that is weird i know we're such fucking cock suckers so the state really won't talk about how there's 38 unsolved homicides yeah yeah homicides they are homicides you're on in rome you know one in jersey yeah and last but not least look you don't make a meat for no good reason. You want to get laid. Yeah, exactly. That's where blue shoes is going to come in.

Right? You know, you're a little too full of pasta, a little too full of sauce, you know? It's always hard to fuck after a meal. Oh, 100%. Sometimes you need a helping hands. Just like you let your dough rest for 30 minutes? Exactly. As soon as I eat, don't touch my bird.

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yeah, I think people, you know, some people just get stuck in the river every once in a while. But it's 38 since you've ever had 22. It's killed Tony's kind of like a bug zapper and people just get caught in the river on their way to it. That would be safe. How bad do you want this golden ticket, dude?

Take a dip. Just die, man. It might be electrocuted, it might not be. Do you want the golden ticket? Jump in front of traffic. Give yourself a brain injury before you do the show. That is crazy, though. Like, Ben was telling me, I didn't realize it's actually

38 unsolved murders in seven years. It's not like some... It doesn't span, like, super long. The police are like, this is... This was like not a suicide. They definitely think something's up. And there's a lot of YouTube docs about it that I've watched. And what do they say?

What's the, what's the current, like lead theory? They're, they're, like, the leading, they call them the Rainy Street Ripper.

Well, yeah, but that's like people. I don't think the cops are really, they don't want to, they don't want to give people that, but the most, they don't want to give it to.

They don't want people to, like, freak out. Yeah. You know, because the city's so fucking weird already. But, no, the whole thing is like,

they think people just get drunk and, like, fall down like the ledge into the river and then like face plan into the river and drown. Well it's a weird town. Yeah. But I just farted.

You sat up to farted. It would have stayed more concealed. I know. He didn't give me time. He's too funny. You just blame it on me, Devon. I apologize. You took the silence around. You got to understand what the police department's

dealing with. They're in the weirdest city in the country. You know what I mean? Yeah. So your normal theories, your normal cause and effect. It's not, it doesn't apply here. Up is down. Okay, you're right. You're right. Look at how weird you are. The fucking, the wires over your head. You're a whack job.

Look at you. Congolide. I know, I've been back in a couple months and just feeling it. The weirdness is coursing through my veins. A microphone cord up. That's the thing is you guys don't stay long enough to get weird. It's true. That's what we flee before the weirdness overtakes us.

Have a big laugh. You two. You're too scared, dude. You're too scared to let the weirdness in. You're going to skip on back to L.A. before anything weird happens. That place wasn't weird at all. I ate a late night snickers.

Hey, we'll stick around, buddy. Stick around, Bob. Try to talk to the cops. A man was killed here last night. I doubt it. He probably slipped on a banana field. He slipped over there. The city's weird like that.

People die here like their Super Mario characters. Heard there was a bunch of turtle shells on six. They're fine. A ghost picked them up. He dropped them back on the road. No, but sincerely, Ben, yeah, we were talking about this. 38. So it's 38.

And obviously, they won't link it to a serial killer because then the tourist attraction stops. I mean, you guys have a Jaws situation here going on. You know, this is like Amity Island. I mean, you're just going to pretend it's not happening. And meanwhile, people keep dying. That's unfortunate. What's the worst death, though? They're all just drowned.

Yeah. And around Ladyburg Lake, 38 bodies. They'll talk to their relatives and they're like, he wasn't like this. He was just like he was, he like wasn't wild. He didn't drink at all. So here's the thing. I think people getting, I don't think, maybe it's not a serial killer. I feel like families always do that though.

That's true. Yeah, no one, yeah. That's true. Everyone that dies. My baby was a scholar. You know, how many of these people were really was charismatic? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You know?

No, no, something like this would never happen. Yeah. Another scholar, a carjack to white. I'm in the Tucker Carlson's fucking dip. You can put in an out. Oh, shit. Now you got some statistics loaded. Look at that.

Google loading. Downloading statistics. That I shouldn't know. I didn't even say the last day. Be coming right. Every pound says it's a racist thing. You don't know what you're going to get. You know, opening his eyes.

It's like, I know black crime statistics. I know per capita. You pick it up, it says, they call him road scholars because of all the carjackings. Spelling road wrong, huh? Typical. Don't get me started. I wanted to name my nicotine off of the, after the, the widest mountains there are, the Alps. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think people are getting drugged. I think they get drugged. I actually don't know if somebody's, like, technically holding people. underwater. Well, it might be ritual killings. This is a good point. It could be the occult. Like the smiley face killers. It could be a serial killers where they drug people

and push them over the ledge. It's sacrificed to Satan. There's a lot of reports of people on 6th Street and around 6th Street like Rainey Street. They're not dying, but they know that they were drugged at some point that way. And they wake up in no memory of anything happening. That'd be great if there's the fucking three Brazilian junk. What? Three Brazilian bungee guys? Just launching

Yeah. Launching gays into the lake. They keep trying to figure out how to rope works. If you listen to the audio, they say 39 when they... Their manager's putting a big... Their manager's put a big check on a whiteboard back of the office. It goes, new record this month, guys. Yeah, I think it's drugging.

Because I've read a bunch of Reddit threads of people in Austin, like explaining the night, the crazy night that they had, and a van will pull up, and after they drug you, they take you in the van, and they take you to an ATM and they empty your bank account. Yeah. Because they do that in the way. But that's traceable.

I don't know. Not out here. I mean, the cops are on like horses and shit. I mean, I don't know. They're not fucking chasing them down. You gotta do is go to Round Rock.

The only police? There's 38 people that get their fucking accounts split and there's no cameras at the fucking ATM. No, I'm saying it might be those things going awry so then they just kill you. Tommy, let me explain something to you. When it comes to the police in Austin,

there's only one kind around here and that's the weird police. Are you keeping it weird? I haven't next year. We're just keeping it weird. Oh, yeah. I'm going to hand you a weird fun. Come on. I might do tie-dye tonight.

We're keeping it weird. It's funny. Every time we take a trip, there's a moment where I realized the new brain tumor we're about to give each other. And we were looking at the creek in the cave,

I saw a Willie Nelson sign. I go, they're keeping it weird. And then Devin just started running down the street. And I go, that's the tumor. That's three more days. We ran up to like just a 21-year-old frat kid throwing up and eating a burrito on the street.

And we're like, he's keeping it weird. You gotta keep it weird buddy. Do it for Daniel Johnston. Yeah. That's a kind of kid. For Stevie Ray Bob. We're keeping it weird.

That's a kind of kid that's frog food for this fucking. Yeah. Exactly. There's so many like, there's so many injured deer on 6th. 100% dude. It's like... It's so easy.

Yeah. So when you see that number, you're like, yeah, it's kind of like... This serial code was probably in a hard place to do all this shit. It's probably not even a serialer. It's just bad people. Different bad people doing bad things. It might be like a course of the Flower Moon type thing. Like the whole city's doing it.

Because we're in LA, they have this place called the Abbey, which is famous for guys get drugs, raped, and then they take their phone, do their face ID, transfer all their money out of their account. So when you're passed out to take the phone up to your face. And it's the most part to do everything. And it's everybody's Caligula. Yeah.

As far as the eye can see. It gets crazy there. Yeah. You got to be real careful. Yeah. Even if you're straight. Yeah. So where are they transferring the money too?

I don't know. I don't know how they do it. You know? The offshore account? Offshore accounts. Spector? Yeah. That's some James Bond shit, dude.

It's blowfield. Blowing guys field. But yeah, there's a ton of, you can go on, like, the, Reddit for the Abbey. And it's just tons of people explaining. There's the worst night of their life. Yeah. They're like literally posting like,

hey, if you see a three foot tall Asian man with a huge ass stay away. He's stolen my phone. If you see a Korean man with a Brazilian butt live, stay away. If you see a Chinese, if you see the buffest Chinese man

you've ever seen in a rice hat run the other direction. He's stolen my phone five times. It's raiding. Yeah. I knew a gay guy who lost his virginity. he came out to me in L.A. and was like, hey, I'm gay. I was like, it's great. I was just eating

pizza. While they were both on a film program for like a Christian college as that they were out. Yeah. So, they always hide in the darkness. Like Batman. Gay guy on top of a building just like crouched down. Staring over the city.

Where are you? Here. Yeah. Just shows his dick here. Yeah. I want to play a little gay The poker You fuck one little ass

And everyone loses their mind God, that's so good Yeah, but just say away from the Abbey If you're in L.A. Oh no, I knew. Yeah, I knew a gay guy and he was like, yeah, I am gay and he goes, I had my first gay experience.

I was like, oh, good for you, man. And he goes, yeah, I'm really, yeah, just dipping his toes in. I had my first gay experience. He had his first gay experience. What that's the first gay? What's the ex? I got my back.

That's a pretty serious experience. Yeah. It's an experience with just a big axe. Yeah. I did my toes into the soil. My cock went deep in his ass. So he experienced his first gay experience, you know? So I was like proud of him or whatever because she was supposed to be proud.

You know, so I'm like, yeah, good for you because he was raised super Christian. So I was like, yeah, he goes, yeah, he goes, I met this guy in an app and I went to his apartment and they were like 20 gay guys there and, uh, we all smoked meth and had sex and had sex. Damn. That rules. Yeah. And I was I still had to like stay in the pocket. I'm like proud of you, man. That's great. He did math. You got you, he had sex with 20 guys at once. No, it's like they have sex like Comanche's. Yeah. Like circling a whack and drink. It's like bone tomahawk.

And with zero anxiety about it. It's like, dude, flip the script here. Yeah. You show up at a fucking hot after party with straights. And there's just a big mound of blow. Everyone's just fucking losing their guts in different rooms.

Losing your guts. Everyone's getting a colonoscopy. Yeah. They're all popping their endpoints in different rooms. That's a good fucking time. How long did you keep? talking to the guy? I mean, do you keep in touch? Well, I ordered another piece of pizza, so I was

waiting for it. So I had to listen to this gay. I was picking the ricotta off. Yeah. But he was and he was a white pie. I saved the ricotta. Yeah, I don't want this anymore. I think I was a six of the bread.

I didn't put it together. So we got to fuck 20 guys. It's like 2014 and you have to be like, he's like pridefully telling people this. Like, yeah, I smoked Crystal Meth and I was at an orgy. But it's your first, it's like, it's like you're like, hey, man, I'm learning to swim.

What I did was I jumped off the boat in the perfect storm. Yeah. That's what's so funny. And you're like, after five, was he still like, I think I might be gay. He kept going to check. I don't know, man. He's like, so by 20, I was pretty sure. I'm sure Crystal Meth has turned a lot of straight dudes gay.

Yeah. That shit's wild. Dude, he tried to act all coy where he's like, yeah, they handed me the pipe and they said it was tea. And he goes, I didn't know what it was, so I just smoked it. And then I realized it was obviously crystal mad. Tea. But, you know, at that point, you already smoked it. Yeah, I thought it was pizza.

He goes, this is not chai. Do you guys know about this is not macho? I don't believe this is a chai. Oh, you want to meet chai and some Jack Black dude walks in the room and fuck your ass. I don't know you want a chai. Try. And the guy starts walking on his hands towards you. Try, finish.

We have a new one. It's so funny that that's the first, that's the equivalent of like the virginity for the gay guy. Yeah. Like, and ours is like, I got a hand job during wedding crashes. Yeah.

Well, he waited patiently. Mm-hmm. You don't get to like kiss the girl, like overlooking the valley, you know, of your hometown. Yeah,

he did. And he probably threw up in his fucking mouth. Well, because you got to play the cards, right? You got to act like you're going to prom with fucking Cindy. It was 250 pounds and fucking eyes.

Right, they got this. Because he takes the fat, ugly one, so he doesn't have to fuck him. Of course, of course. Yeah, you have a fucking walk around. Because she's lesbian and he's a gay. 100%. They both are very confused. Yeah.

I'll help him out. I'll help him out. I'll put him in the right direction. Speaking of... Dude, you know what I'm wanting to happen so bad? What? I wish so badly that our dad and Tommy's dad could have a podcast together. Yeah.

And they just talk about, like, how much they beat their kids. How are gay they are? A podcast called Fuck our gay sons. Just call Crystal Mazz. Just be like, does your thing, does your kid do a thing

where he draws like anybody gives you shit? Brother, this is true. I wanted to go to art school. I want to go to art school. I know, so did I.

Yeah. I got accepted all art schools in Philadelphia after high school. And my dad was, well, this is back again, back before trains were things. Sure. There was no graphic artists.

You know, there was no digital arts. Yeah. So my dad literally took me home and he was like, what are you fucking boardwalk painter? Yeah. Huh? You gay? Yeah, maybe he makes a good point.

Yeah. And then I waste at like $400,000 at fucking Drexon University doing engineering. Did you get the engineering degree? You did? About, I mean, like three probably. Fuck. It's a very expensive school. Yeah.

Jesus. Like 40. You were getting into engineering? Yeah. When we were there. I think it's probably probably, or 45 a year. You have a scholarship?

Huh? Scholarship? Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Fuck. So did you have any period of time where you were like using that degree?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't start comedy until I was like 30. What were you doing? But what was it? I was in, I worked for Deloitte.

Consulting as an IT. Really? Yeah. Wow. It's the rainy street killer. Then I moved in the other, who gives a shit? It's not as cool as trash stories.

Please, Tom, look, everybody got up. You get embarrassed. People walk in. I was talking about, you know, like drop three inches. Chris left. Let me tell you about my college years, guys. Yeah. Do you still do art, though?

Or do you crush that out of you? No. You don't pay anything? Do you stand up? That's fucking hard. You guys think about this AI stuff. Sorry, what Chris is. What do you guys think about this AI stuff?

What's going on? That's going on. You started, dude. It's crazy. AI's crazy, man. It's nuts. It's nuts. Holy shit.

You had a party in all of your friends have left. Yeah. What do you think about it? AIs. It's crazy. I'm telling you, I saw Charlie Kirk was Victor Wemba in Yama the other day. Isn't that nuts? Holy shit, the ladder.

The ladder of that simulation was nuts, dude. They would have never reached the neck. if he was that tall. Steps to a little fucking a dude. Reservoirs drying up. Charlie Kerr. Yeah.

Cow skulls on different parts of land. People in the Midwest having sleepless nights due to the buzzing. So a kid could create Charlie Kirk as Victor Wembeyanama. Our hometown,

Abilene, Texas. There's thousands of tax papers, dollars. I know, millions. So, millions. Dude,

these guys are from Abilene, which is being completely destroyed. They're like the first city to like get their fifth AI data center and they've like literally lost night. They don't have night anymore. They just have buzzing. Yeah.

And like people are like literally like, you know, like gonna get big tumors and they can't afford their electricity bills anymore. It's also like eight grand for a three bedroom now in Abilene, Texas. It's like it's fucked now. And this is a place where I pay like $120 for a room

when I was in college. If you're that fucking homo late guy, you go to that town. It is such a twist in the AI thing, because I thought it was supposed to become, like, sentient and kill us. Instead, it just kind of sucks. No, it's retarded. It's that we're killing ourselves with it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We created a big retardant guy that kills us with a hammer. You just can't stop drinking water. Skynet is literally like a guy who's like, you know, your time's done. I'm going to kill with the big hammer. Yeah, apparently it doesn't exist yet. What? There is no such thing.

I read a Michael Barry's, uh, the guy, the big short. guy. He wrote a whole thing about how none of these companies actually do AI. So far it does not exist. It's all a branding thing. So like Navidia and Palantir, they just basically one year smacked

AI on their thing because that was the cool thing to be. And like IBM, every company said, we're artificial intelligence too. And it was just a branding thing for stocks. And it doesn't actually exist yet. It's basically just Google searches at this point. It's just Indian guys in After Effects making Charlie Kurt and Victor Witton.

It's like 95 percent Indian. They keep him Indian guys, the initials AI. This is AI, my friend. But I get it, Tommy. I tried to,

I was drawing a lot and I went for business and I tried to, when I was in middle school, I tried to sign up for the flute in band. Yeah. And like,

I got called like out of class and I went to the principal's office and like my dad was there and the band teacher and they're like, if you play the flute, you're a faggot. They're like,

you have to. to sign up for trumpet yeah jeez i was less gay yeah trump is longer i know it's longer you gotta like work it more yeah it's got a swat you have a stronger cheek muscle it's blacker too

it's also blacker which is gayer for some reason to them do them to them it's gayer yeah yeah they one of it i just like it i like it i don't know you guys are from bumble fuck yeah yeah they're literally from yeah i'm from like where like

Luella moss found that dead mexican under the tree with the briefcase of money. That's basically, that was like where we went to high school. Nice. Yeah. Right there under the tree. That guy would flies.

Yeah. That's exactly. It's good for the tree. Yeah. Just trying to play them. That's when we didn't move. Ben will text me like once a week. We call them soil.

Nutrients. Soil Gonzalez. Yeah. Nutrients Gonzalez. That's where the progress. Mr. Soil. Where's soil? Mr.

I haven't seen. soil. Mr. Abe, it's time for me to feed the plants with my body. Yeah, he's by the oak tree. He's no looking goo. I love the idea you looking at a dead Mexican guy under a tree and being like, look at him. Fucking lazy.

That's what I want to do. Taking a nap. I want to get in one of those little, those little tree pods. Tree pods? You see these? Where are those? You can bury yourself in the ground that makes a tree. Oh, yeah.

The tree sucks up all the nutrients while you fucking decay. Interesting. I'd rather be shot in a space or like raped or something. You don't have money for that. Huh? You got money for rape, but you don't have money for shots. You got rape money,

but you ain't got space money, Benny. Let's do a middle ground. I know this is fancy. You ain't got space money. Let's do a middle ground. He gets raped in space. Yeah. That would rule.

Elon must pay to rape his body. Have you known about, like, the cases of, like, old, like, grandmas who, like, donate their body to science when they die? And then the kids are, like, they're like, they, like, look up. They're like, what happened? to her and it's like public information you can look it up and there was this grandma

they were like what happened to my 90 year old grandma they were like oh they we tied her to the top of a Buick and then we hit her with like the most advanced rocket Israel ever made and just blew her to pieces when you donate your body to science that's most likely what's happening is like literally why they tied her to the top because they wanted it to be a little wacky yeah are they doing in Austin yeah it's like fucking weird baby no like literally just outside of Austin You donate your body of science and a company that if you do enough research is tied to Israel, sells it for $95 to the U.S. military, and then they hit it with a big rocket.

Just to see what happens when a body gets blown to pieces. Do you know when the fucking terrorists were doing those high productions? Yeah. Of massacres? Yeah. Sure. Beautiful. A really headache of time.

One of my favorites was they put them in like a fucking, fucking Mitsubishi. Yeah. They encuffed them to the steering wheel, whatever the fuck. everyone's like just latched in and the guy drops back like 50 yards and hits him with an RPG. Yeah, it rules. Fucking insane. Dude, it was Vice and Isis had the best

like low budget high value like quality. That's why I'm trying to get Josh to one of these DSLRs. You got these guys out there putting the best productions out there. Yeah. You had like a Arabian Spike Jones out there making skateboard videos. Yeah. I always laugh.

It's so funny to think that the United States military at some point had to like blow up the creative wing of a bunch of guys with like glasses yeah we had to blow up the ISIS marketing department guys with beanies and plaid shirts yeah yeah

there's so many good clips coming off this is now my favorite are they my favorite I saw was on LiveLeak like in 2010 it was like it was a car bomber who was driving towards a military base and I think they had they'd installed explosives the US military had on the road

so the guy's driving they tell him the stop he tries to floor it and they hit the explosives and you just see it from far away they launch the car about 500 fucking feet into the air and then his own bomb and the car goes off so it just explodes it's like a firework yeah yeah it's like launch you from the top big boom at the top yeah yeah it's the cool thing I've ever seen I love those ones towards it goes like yeah yeah oh dude just all dead body parts yeah yeah the body part yeah I love this one The body parts form the shape of a boot. It's a weeping willow of fire.

I love those ones. I watch them every morning. The richest man in America. After bungee cord mishap. I mean, killing isn't art. Say what you want about Hamas, but maybe they're like, you know, the beatnecks of our time.

They never would have been able to do that without the grandmas. Their father told the son he was gay and he was like, well, I'm just going to murder people. Yeah, that's what happened. There's only two jobs. Quintanamo Bay is like the Rhode Island School of Design or whatever You create artists there

They go out in the world Isis, Amos, whatever Or murder innocent people You push me to this father You guys everything in the plug Hmm? We got our show Lemon Party Oh sorry

And hate watch And Ben Avery's live stream Ben Avery presents the show Yeah You slow blinking What are you live? This is your second fucking Red Bull You can't be

My mind's, I'm like the limitless pill right now. YN. You're locked in. Yeah. It's the limitless pill, but it's limited. What's YN stand for? I have no idea. You don't want to say.

We got all this way. We said some wild shit. It's an internet term. Think about it. It's an internet term. Think about the letter N and then fill in the gas. The young one. Young.

No, I got it. Man. I was hoping it would be like, you know. No, not at all. You don't spell you? No. I know, it's creative license. It's weird down here.

It's young nose. It's you now. Oh, you now? It's Eckertolli. Another one of your friends fucking. Oh, you now? It'd be a YN? Well, thank you guys for getting all the mics for us.

Yeah. You guys don't usually do as many people. It's fine, though. They sort of buying this new couch to fit us on. Yeah, thanks for the new couch. Thanks for getting this home. so we could fit. Then we expanded the studio.

We knocked down a wall. Imagine if we were in that small room. Fucking 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. We'd all be flowing out the door. That's where you guys usually do it? Yeah. Wow. This is special.

This is a very initial. You're a fucking dickhead. Why are you looking at that? You're being a dick. I'm not being a dick. You think I'm patronizing you. I have nothing by love for you. The fact that you said it first.

they're just being weird I think you're very talented patronizing I believe that one our dad's watching the podcast right now separately going they're both fucking gay

they got shit to the both of them on the two ladies can't even talk to each other without fighting which ladies ladies ladies which one would you hit in the forehead with a football right now my dad my dad

you see this stuff violent I'm fucking real my dad turned to your dad my dad's still doing it But my dad turned to your dad Like yeah one time I was playing catch with him I didn't tell him I was throwing a curveball Hit him in the neck

You gotta keep these In the toes Slide a back door All right boys Thanks for coming Yeah You guys are having us Yeah

You guys are the best Ben Chamin We love you Bye Bye