Stuff Island - Listerine Island - Stuff Island #220

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

he boys are reunited on the set of Tires. Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code STUFFISLAND. That’s promo code STUFFISLAND. Visit https://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information #comedy SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [STUFFISLAND] at https://www.Mandopodcast.com/[STUFFISLAND]! #mandopod Click the link http://kalshi.com/r/stuff or download the Kalshi App and use code STUFF to sign up and trade today! #ads Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-.... Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope  #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, Tom. Phones down. Phones down, it's time to pod. I was reading about Brad Arnold. Who's who the fuck is Brad Arnold? He's the fucking lead singer. You're about to find out? He's, oh, three doors down.

Oh, really? He's passed. Oh, no. Battle's cancer. I want to play this song, but we can't. Oh, man. YouTube says we can't play this glorious fucking tune. Yeah, that's heartbreaking.

I don't know. I wonder if they give special different, like, copyright dispensations like certain days. Yeah, yeah. Copyright suspended for a day. Yeah, yeah. If he passed away, put the song on. Yeah.

It would be nice. Yeah. You know? I wish those Japanese guys played three doors down while they're doing those spins. 10, 80s. I know.

I was, you know, it's day one of the Olympics. It's cold and snowy day here in Westchester. Freezing cold. It's fucking negative 17 degree wind chill. We got the bundled up. You're not even taking your jacket off.

You drive my. father insane it's not my father absolutely nuts but we popped into the local watering hole for yeah for some deviled eggs

laid breakfast deviled eggs I got fucking lump crab deviled eggs what a choice yeah that's I'd say you know my week was going yeah you go and fish and eggs that's a yeah that's a divorce

mom you're not a fish guy yeah I am no I'm a fish guy you're not a fresh fish guy yes I am I do fucking sushi all the time Now, you've always been again. That's a recent development. Yeah.

It's a recent development. Two years. The last two years. I don't know. And I did Omicasse. 18 months. It's fucking changed my life, dude. Yeah.

I told you that. It's scratch. I can't believe you're such a late adopter to sushi. Well, I mean, who wants to just fill their face with raw fish? Me. Yeah. I mean, who's what normal person? You don't ever crave.

People that crave sushi is, it's insane. I'll eat it. I start eating it. It's one of those, it's one of those, meals where you get one bite and you go, I was wrong. This is great. What about steak tartar?

Yeah. I want that's what I want to start like a meat sushi place. Yeah? Yeah. Just like uncooked chicken, uncooked beef, like different just types of... Let me tell you something.

Those lights would be off of it. Before you got the fucking painting down on the wall. No, no, no. Because you get like, you get really good chickens. Dude, no one's eating fucking raw chicken. They would. They would. They would.

We're in fucking Mumbai. Dude, people are taking like fucking big gulps of creatine to fucking get smarter now. People are doing anything. I take it to you know what I mean. Every day. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's apparently a good thing. People are like, no, if you take a million pounds of creatine, actually your brain gets smarter.

No, it's just five to ten milligrams. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. I believe it. They're going to eat the chicken. People didn't think you could eat raw fish when sushi first started coming around. And then they went to the Japanese are doing it. And people are like, oh, well, they live long. Well, it's proven you can't eat raw chicken.

No, you can't. Sure. You can eat anything raw. You can't eat raw chicken. Mm-hmm. Are you going to trust going to? No, you can't just... No, you can't just get any old chicken.

You got to have a chicken guy. You got to have a chicken guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Farm raised... Are you going to cut it up, and you're going to make, like, a little crudo. Yeah. A little honey mustard. You can do...

You do a little... You're saying turkey. You get like a raw turkey. A deconstructed. You're talking about a deconstructed chicken finger. Are you going to do a little honey mustard with a little breadcrumb? Yeah, dude. Not a bad idea.

I'm telling you. It's right there for the taking. Look at the marketplace. You got to say where. This could win top chef. Yeah. Like when you get to the finals, there's only two chefs left. Yeah.

If they pulled off some fucking insane thing like this where they served raw chicken and did a deconstructing chicken. Yeah, with toasted breadcrumb and like a honey mustard underneath. Dude, and the best part is they would go, you can't eat raw chicken, and then you can actually. And then they're all shit and they're puking their brains out in the back. They'd be totally fine. They'd be like, really? I didn't know.

Maybe I'm like, you'd push past someone's bias. Hey, Siri. Can you eat raw chicken? No? It's not safe to eat raw chicken as it can harbor. Two particularly harmful bacteria that can cause infection. lead to complications like typhoid fever and bacteremia, which occurs when bacteria enters...

But that's because the chicken's shitty. You can eat raw, good chicken. Hey, Siri, can you eat good raw chicken? No. It is not safe to be in raw chicken. No, it's... They're never going to say yes. Obviously, they're never going to say yes. It's like, can pre-come get you pregnant kind of question.

They're always going to be like, yeah, I can. They're going to tell you the internal temperature of certain meats and fishes and pork and chicken have to be a certain thing. Oh, one more. Hey, Siri, at what temperature can bacteria survive? 100 degrees. Bacteria dies at 100 degrees?

Yeah. Depending on the... That's why when it's like 125, 135 for like a 135 for like rare beef. Oh, that's why you run a temperature. Yeah. But they're saying like... You bump up over 100. You kill stuff.

Yeah. Nothing surviving. So people get nuts when the pork's a little pink. Yeah, send it. No, yeah. Pork. Don't over do it. Raw pork would be on the menu.

Raw pork is not a good thing. That's the worst thing. No. Pork is the most dangerous thing you can fucking eat. No, you talk about really taking care of a pig here. It would be like, you're talking far. Like Wagu, like, wago, like, level treatment.

Farm to table, raw chicken, pork and beef. It'd be a special farm. It'd be like we'd be one of those restaurants. that has their own farm. It's definitely sounds like an Asian thing. I think it would only survive in Asia. Yeah. No, they're probably more scared of chickens than we are.

The fuck they are. The Chinese? Well, I thought you meant the islands. The island. No, not the Japs. The island is... No. The Chinese will chew on your nose.

I'm surprised the nickname for the Japanese sports teams isn't the islanders. It's kind of cool. It'd be sick. New York took it. I know. Just like everything else. The islanders be fucking awesome.

What? We took their people. We took their people? New York? As an island? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We took everybody's people.

True. It's the best, yeah. It's a melting pot. It's a good melting pot. They're people. Everybody's people. They got in there. Although the Japs mostly went to San Francisco.

You like that Billy Island? She's getting fucking wrecked? No. Her comment on the Grammys? What did she say? say on the Grammys? Something about ice? It's stolen land.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right. And now it's just falling down on some like fucking tribe, hired a lawyer and said, you admit it that you're living on stolen land, so it's ours. It's another trying to get her product. No, but it's enough to make her feel like a fucking adult. Did we steal it? I feel like stealing undermines the like the amount of effort that went into taking it. Let's go.

You know what I'm saying? I was, I was needing a little bit of energy. Maybe I fucking, maybe I baited it that hook a little bit to get you in the fucking hating Native Americans. I feel like it was a fair fight.

Yeah, was it? Yeah. Guns and arrows? You ever play that game? I mean, we all started from the same place. You know what I mean? Everyone had enough time to build up

their armies. Yeah. And then, you know, D-Day. Yeah. They should call James, like, what, yeah, the Plymouth Rock just D.D. You have a good time? H-hour. This barely makes any sense.

What was it going to say? Billy Eilis is losing her house to the natives. Yeah, I mean, I- clawing it back. I hope so. It'll never happen, but, you know, that's just people in her house, drinking Listerine. Make a song about that.

Going up to the Islish Reservation. Dude, that's so funny. They finally get in her house and they just start a clear liquor cabinet and then started drinking Listerine. It's like an intervention, like reality, like house. That's so funny. That'd be pretty fun. My mother made my brother go to rehab when he was 18 because he was just being an 18-year-old

fucking kid. And all of our, it was like the first time we've ever had like, I didn't even know there was like non-alcoholic Listerine Like mouthwash Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, same So she got like 100% non-alcoholic mouthwash And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

I know, it's like a nicotine-free vape Yeah, she sucks Well, she started clearing like all the drawers of all this stuff I'm like this is This is gonna drive me to drink Like this is so embarrassing And it's like also like if he's gonna find something to drink He's gonna go elsewhere

He's not gonna just What you think? think he is is not. Right, right, right, right. He's not fucking... He's not drinking Listerine. He's not drinking Listerine. But then I see, you know,

intervention. People drinking Listerine is so insane. You ever see that episode of intervention? This bitch gets ripped on Listerine. Because it's cheap. It's like that fat guy that was eating fucking hand gel.

Like he was eating hand sanitizer. Like alcohol wipes? No, no, no. The hand sanitizer. Just the packing an... alcohol wipe like a zin dude it's worse what the fuck

he would get like a gallon a gallon's worth of hand sanitizer and like you know at the dollar store that's crazy you can't track it and it's cheap as hell and he would just glug this fucking cum

why not just smoke crack it's expensive you gotta go out it's dangerous no I think crack's got to be cheaper than Listering no what's that dude dollars store hand sanitizer is like 40% alcohol.

It's like 80 proof. It'll get you fucking ripped. But you got to swallow this fucking glue. Oh my God. And the dude would just eat hand sanitizer, which was the worst I've ever seen. That's, yeah, you know, I can't even believe that. It's like, yeah, I don't even know.

No, I believe obviously it happens because people do it. People take the fucking listry and out of their house when they're alcoholics. but I just, I can't imagine taking all the fun out of it. Yeah. It's socializing. Yeah, and like, enjoying, like, what you're drinking and, like, all of that, those elements. To be drinking Listerine or, like, rubbing alcohol is so fucking crazy. It'd be like if you couldn't stop buying tickets to Eagles games and, like,

so instead you just started going there when they weren't playing. Yeah. It's like, you're just in the stadium, it's cheaper. It's cheaper when you go when they're not playing. It's like, well, yeah, but it's not a game anymore. We should try this, though. I think I would try it. You see it?

No, I put a pump of hand sanitizer. Down into your body? No, in a glass. And then make like a seltzer. Right, right. Yeah, like, I'm sure it tastes better than a white collar. It has like a floral note. You know what I mean?

It probably is disappointing to find out how close white claws are to hand sanitizer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, White Claw's new mint julep-flavored. The lady that was just Listerine would fall asleep on the lawn. God, that's another great one. Great breath, though, probably.

Great breath. Dynamite breath. Both of them. Yeah. Both of them. Excellent teeth. Yeah. Yeah.

Everything's peachy clean. Peachy clean. Just every time they go to the doctor, they've got to be like just calling other people in. You got to see this. Yeah. It's like the opposite of when you come in with like... The gum health on this alcoholic. It's unbelievable.

You can't hide whiskey breath, but you can hide listening breath. It's true. This guy just got out of the shower. I guess, you know what? The more we dig into it, the smarter this is starting to look. Right? If you're like a violent alcoholic at work and you're drinking vodka, it's like you can't hide that. Everyone's going to be like, guys, a fucking mess.

But if you're minty, fresh breath all the time... He just pretend you're at lunch. Yeah, yeah. He walks a little funny. Balance isn't great, but boy, does he smell? Amazing. Yeah, just ate a... A taco.

Where were you going with that? What? What? What, the taco? Yeah, yeah. You got a twinge in your neck? What's going on? Yeah, I do.

You notice? Yeah, yeah, you're turning... If I kept my jacket on, it looks like it's just part of the jacket. I slept all fucked up in this town. Oh, you slept on your back. No. No, I just, yeah, I was watching TV on my back, a couple of pillows, late, and then I did a... Yeah.

Turn over. 80 degree angle, you know what I mean? Not great, pal. This town is... I think our ancestors sleep. On the fucking ground. I know, but it's like, men. Their backs must have been a fucking mess, dude.

That's my favorite part of that... What's his doing? What do you think if you're doing it since you're a kid, you're like, you get, like, muscles for it. it. You get like good back muscles for sleeping. Yeah. I mean, it's not, it's not healthy the way most Americans sleep, I imagine, right? I don't know, on a big comfy bed. Our bodies aren't built for that. We're not supposed to twist our spines and sleep on. Yeah, I mean, I do the pillow grip on the side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's literally like, it's just a laying down koala. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I can't sleep without holding something. Well, people are like, you can sleep on the couch. I'm like, you can sleep on my couch. I can't. I can't sleep on your couch. If you give me enough something. I grab the back of the pillows on the couch. It is.

It's a good move. Now the more than I think about it, I'm like a tick. Yeah. I would say bed bug, but you could say tick if you want. A tick just latches on. My girl doesn't like the pillow in between us. So I face the outside of the bed. And you know this about me, right?

I shared a bed with my brother growing up. Yeah. So I can only fall asleep on the outside of the bed. That's where I fall asleep. fall asleep. Fawesle facing the outside. We're back to back. I want to twin. And I hold a pillow. But when I want to roll over,

I want to roll over with the pillow eventually. Yeah, yeah. And it's instinctive. And if I roll over with the pillow and there's a gap between us and she gets hit with the pillow in my hands, she don't like that. So then I have to go like this, take the pillow out, put it next to the bed, get her for a while. And then when I roll back over,

I pull the pillow back off the fucking floor and then hold it again. I can't. I haven't slept in years, Chris. Yeah, dude. That's unbelievable. Yeah, it's a whole thing. I can't cuddle and sleep.

Yeah, I don't usually. I mean, I have to touch her. Really? Mm-hmm. Like, for your own sake? No, there just has to be like a, some kind of skin touch. I'll do like a leg down here. That's for her?

No, for me. Why do you? Why? I was raped. No, it is true. It's sleeping next to a brother. Yeah, it's, you know, it was. It wasn't sexual rape, but it was...

No, no. Yeah, well, physical violence. Physical violence. Yeah, yeah, so you do. It's like an alarm thing. Your whole life, you were touching something. It's like when someone puts, like, a bottle on the door handle. It breaks if anyone jiggles the handle. It's that version of we're just like... I promise my girls... I'll wake up if this moves. It'll give me enough time.

Well, that's what my dog does. My dog will not sleep when she sleeps in the bed. If she's not... So my dog treats her and... and I differently, obviously, because I'm like the alpha of the house. So she'll sleep. I'm not saying that like a tough guy. She understands that like,

she'll sleep on my legs in between my legs facing the door, like protecting the door for some reason. Sick. And then when it's just her, she goes up and cuddles my girl up top. Yeah. That's all I want. I would love her to do that. She never wants to do that.

Yeah. But if she's down there and she's not in between my legs, she'll just grab one paw like this and put it my on my leg. It's, that's the best. The most comforting thing? A dog. Right?

Yeah, a dog that's sitting like this and just goes. Oh, dude. Send it. Maybe the best thing in the world. It changes the course of your day a million times. Yeah, yeah. It's the greatest thing in the world. They're watching TV.

If you're watching TV and they get up next to you and they go like. Just leaning. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when you sleep, she knows that if you move, it'll wake her up. Yeah. She can't possibly, she can't sleep through your movements. A hundred percent.

Where's he going? I got to follow him. Yeah. We're on the mission. It's an old school alarm clock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's what they're built for. Right. You know? Just trip wires everywhere. If anyone of us senses danger, everyone's waking up. It's pretty, pretty great. I think that's how I'm built right now. I have to be touched.

Yeah. Yeah, I have to have to have some level of touch. I'm in jacket mode how much insulation between me and the world as possible your all-weather fleece that's where your heart's at

yeah I'd wear a helmet outside if I could you can't with those glasses no one's going to ask any questions let me show you I'd leave the house every day in goalie pads oh yeah

I got these boys I got these boys We're not... Yeah. The fucking Mad Max goggles. They are sick, though. Dude, you look... Insane.

Fucking awesome. Dude, you look fucking awesome. I mean, you look from the side, you look a little bit like a blind guy, but face on,

you look sick. Doesn't it make you want to just be, like, in the fucking Arctic or something? It makes me want to throw football. Yeah, well, that, yeah, that... In the Arctic, though?

Yeah. Outside. All right, boomerang. Yeah, yeah. In aggressive weather. I love how I picked a hotter sport. A boomerang? My brain's not working, dude.

Yeah, well, you've been hitting the... Hitting the sauce the past couple days. You've been getting after it. There's nothing to do here. I know. And we've been hanging out with old friends. Yeah. You've got the Coochman.

The Coochman coming through. The Cooch boy. He's a great time. How great is Cooch? He's a great time. Man. He just sends me right back to 12 years old. Yeah.

When I should when I, he picked me up at the hotel to go to lunch yesterday. I sat down. He gave me two different balls. He goes, try this football. It's the best football I ever had in my life. And sure enough, it's the greatest football. And I go, I looked it up immediately. I'm buying it.

Yeah, yeah. And he goes, don't buy it. I'm going to send it to your house. It's fucking unbelievable. It's a perfect football. And then he goes, remember we used to play this game rock. We played this game rock where it was like this old beaten down sponge, that would have, it would be oblonged

after getting struck. Yeah. So the, the ball would whip and curve and dip and dive. It was like very hard to fucking follow. Yeah, yeah, it was a knuckleball. Yeah, it was a knuckleball, basically.

And he goes, remember we used to do this? And he says, I got this one for Gage. And it's a hand-stitched baseball size, basically rock. And he's like, this is the greatest ball I've ever had. We spent the first 10 minutes. Just throwing ball.

Just touching balls. Yeah, yeah. And then he handed me two firemen gloves. He's like, these are for shame. All right, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. You guys, you know it. You love it. Come on.

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Get the benefits of, you know, downstairs positivity. Yeah, there you go. Get your brain work. I'm trying to get my brain work. Yeah, I don't know. You could go for, yeah, you could do some, you know, some reading and stuff just with a boner. Yeah. It is the thing about, like, comedy that you do miss hanging around jocks.

Oh, my God. You know? Yeah. The younger days were, it was. was like pure jocks. And like a lot of people, Jacks get bad rap. A lot of people think of them

like Revenge of the Nerds. They think of bullies. Yeah, yeah. But now, man, there's some, the sweetheart.

Yeah. Sweetheart jocks. Nothing better. There is nothing better. Nothing better. There's nothing better. And I was lucky enough. I feel like most of my teammates

were the fucking sweet boys. Until you got the Drexel. Then there were, there were animals, but they were also like, they were nice. Yeah. You know what I mean?

There was not a lot of like bullying. It was all just, like debauchery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucking great. Yeah, man. I got to hang out with those boys a little bit recently. It was just like, damn, I missed the squad.

Did you go out in Philly? Yeah, yeah. A couple of, like, a lot of them live, like, kind of close to Westchester now, so. Does the craziest one of the crew have, like, the best family? Are the biggest kids? Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah.

One of, one of the biggest morons on the team is, like, doing fantastic. It's always, always the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's somehow, Plinko to his way into the perfect niche. Yeah. And he's killing it.

Dumb come is powerful, dude. I don't know what it is about dumb cum. But those dudes, those dudes find a way. And it's, it's miraculous and so confusing. When you go to like a reunion or like, yo, you guys want to hang out with like your old baseball buddies from college?

Yeah. And you're like, Gunzo's got to. be dead, right? Yeah, yeah. I assume he's on the lamb, like he's on the run from the police or something. He's living in Yardley. No, yeah.

No, he got into sod. Yeah. He owns three landscaping companies. He just, I don't know. You got it in the ground floor of sod. His wife is Nordic and perfect. He's got three beautiful children. Yeah.

It's like, if you're buying sod on the East Coast, you're going through him. It's like, how? I don't know, man. Remember how it was used to like grass? You ate it, you're retarded. That's the only reason he played Is because he wanted to be close to grass No, this place is like a, it's like an old, like oil town

That shut down This place? Westchester, yeah I don't know, it's, it's a beautiful little colonial hamlet It is very just west of downtown Philadelphia It truly is. It truly is quaint. And I use that word specifically.

It's a very quaint, beautiful colonial town. I know. But for the purpose of it. I wish I got in on Westchester. early. Yeah, that's what everybody says. I know. What do you fucking? You ever see Gold Rush on Discovery Channel, dude? I wish I got to San Francisco way before the other Panthers did. Yeah, no fucking shit. I know, but this feels like one of those ones you could have done. You know? I mean, there's no way. We were talking yesterday about how when you were like, you living in Philly for like 15 years,

you'd start walking around and you'd see just like abandoned buildings and you're like, man, I wish I had money to buy that. Yeah. It's like, it's like 500 bucks. Yeah. Man, I wish I kid. And now it's still shit though. You gotta, you gotta hope that there's gonna be. No, a lot of those places are nice. People eventually got them in like brewery town. Yeah, yeah. Fucking northern liberties like all those places got flipped. And it's even South Philly got nice. I got a friend that's beautiful little Roe Homes down there. Just that. Bought it, flipped it. COVID came. The liberals were like to fund the police. And the police were like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. And. And. now they can't sell their homes or they're selling it for nothing. Oh, really? Because the, uh,

I'll say it. The crime moved back in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy.

It's like a face hug. Dude. I know. I know. You know what I've also realized. It does block everything out. You know, I know. I'm getting sleepy.

It somehow makes you like, makes you like more focused. I think I think as a, as a human being. It truly makes you more focus. I think I do need like horse blinders. Yeah. You know what I? Yeah.

I think I genuinely need. You walking out in the snow with fucking golly pads and horse fliers on. Let me tell you something. No one's going to park in your spot. No one's taking your parking spot. Hey, honey, you see this new guy that moved in? Yeah. Where's goalie plaids?

No, he looks ridiculous, but comedy's gotten so much better. Yeah. Things are going well. Season three. So hard. Season three. I don't know what he's doing, but it's working. God damn.

I have been enjoying the cold weather, though. We haven't had a deep freeze up east in forever. Yeah, just seeing snow got me excited. Yeah. It flurried yesterday. And it's not going anywhere. I did one of these. When it was snowing this any morning?

Oh, yeah. It was catching flurries. That's nice. Yeah, you don't like... I missed it. It's a dream. When the snow melts fast, it feels like, the whole world going, all right, back to work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's truly Sunday night after The Simpsons do your homework. Yeah. Weather being fucked is so great, especially in this day and age. Well, whether, like, when it snows, it's like quarantine again, right? Yeah. No one's getting a leg up on you. Yeah.

There's no psychological warfare of going, I don't think I'm doing enough. Yeah. When it snows, everybody's like, let's head to the fucking bar. Yeah. Or just drink at home. yes do nothing yeah

it does feel like do nothing for 24 and the margin for error is expanded you know what I mean you feel like everyone's a little more forgiving yeah

in a snowstorm and that's really all I want yeah it's all I want out of life is people to go you know what I can't believe you have the greatest ball

right next to it's yeah I can't say the name but it's danger town it's you can see the corona sign that's it's it's the kind of setup where it's like if I took

Salvia or whatever, you know that thing where you like live a whole life in five minutes that you like smoke salvia and you like Isn't that DMT? I think DMT you just see like fucking Oh no, it's ayahuasca. No, salvia.

Ayahuasca I think you like unpack your whole life which is like I'm going to do that. You're talking about living a different life for a whole life in 10 minutes. Really? Yeah. Why don't you do it? I feel like you.

You should be doing one of these things that I just spoke of. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like you should take ayahuasca. I don't know. I think I can get there on my own. I mean, dude, what a fucking O'Connor statement. I think I'd do a pretty good job of getting there on my own. But if I was to do Salvia or something like that, this is what I would want it to be.

Just living right across from a bar like that. Yeah. And spending every single day there. Wait, is this your revolution? it's not a revolution it's just like that that'd be nice I want to see what that's like you know going to the bar every day just right across the street though

it's right there what do you mean no I'm saying this is this is the kind of setup I would want for like a like you know the rest of your eternity a whole life yeah yeah just living like that you know get by this fucking house no no no no I can't do it you know what I mean because you'd kill yourself well that's the nature of real life is you only get to vacation in the lives that you want

to live. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's a point of drugs. I know. Well, the drugs are for when you can't afford a vacation. Right. Yeah.

That's what booze is for poor people. True. True. That's a day trip. Mostly night trip. It gets a new day trip. It's a problem. Yeah, yeah.

That's a Listerine problem. We're going to Listerine Island. How about that? That's big news. What? You know, it's all true. What? The Epstein thing is, it's in, I guess everyone's fucking kids.

It's pretty wild. It's great. Every rich guy is fucking kids. No, I mean, it's great that it's coming out. I didn't mean it like that. It's great, I said. It's great that it's all coming out. And, you know, they can't stop.

It does make you feel. Yeah, yeah. Well, now, like, the fun part now is going back on, like, old conspiracies and old conspiracy ethereal that were muted and killed. You know what I mean? Like the Anheesh. What was Anne Hes? Fucking Antine Bourdain. Oh, oh. Those are coming back out.

Anne Hesch was working alongside of this other journalists to out these kid fuckers. And they both had car accidents. Really? And apparently there's like some mechanism they can put on a car that

you know, just releases the brake and they can control your speed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's why they can like hack car. Yeah, they just hacked a car and they flew into a fucking building or, you know. Good Lord. But that's why that video of In Hash coming out of the body bag and they just zipped her back up.

Like, that's fucking insane. And everybody just didn't say anything about that. Yeah. She came out of the body. Sheila woke up. You've never seen this video? No. Oh, my God.

It's like a Monty Python sketch. The fact that no one's still talking about this. Bring out you dead. I'm not quite dead. We're dead in a minute. I'm actually feeling much better. Oh, shut up you. We can't say for certain a lot of damage was word if she was also meant.

The 53-year-old actress was taken away in an ambulance. She was taken to a local hospital. She suffered significant injuries and some serious burns, according to the fire department. The LAPD saying that... Get me out of here. Damn. ...acting erratically.

According to witnesses, she may have also be... Speeding, they saw her in a Is her tit out? They say she first crashed into Is that your question? About her tits? She's being drug into an ambulance. Comes out of the body back.

Yeah, no, I reacted to that part. And they acted like she fucking died. No, she said she was in stable condition. She's dead. She's dead? When is she dead? This is a fucking conspiracy podcast right now. I didn't know she dead.

Hey, Siri. Is Ann Hush dead? I feel like I saw her inside. something recently. August 11th. That was her that was and the woman she was

working alongside with this I don't know if it was a documentary or a book or whatever the fuck it was. She also had the same incident where it's very fishy. Yeah. Or they had this mechanism their car just couldn't stop. You could see a

video. There's a video of Ayn Hesha's speed going into the wreck. It's like she's going like 120 miles an hour and just into a building and like back streets whoa so they just took over the fucking governor

or whatever it is I don't know yeah yeah they hacked into it they hacked into it apparently it's like the cleanest crime you can get but you have to know somebody

yeah you gotta really be good of computers and they look back on like Bourdain Anthony Bourdain did he hang himself did he hang himself because he was also looking into the kid fucking he was yeah

Boy. So now all this stuff's coming public, you look back at all these people that just died for no fucking reason. They're digging into this stuff. Now we have a lot of bizarre guess. Now we've got to self a ball game. Yeah, yeah.

And it's tough. It's tough because when you start looking into kid fucking stuff, you are kind of losing your mind a little bit. Also, you worry about the search. Yeah. But then you start to, you know, so it can go either way. You can either be like, this person got crazy.

They got obsessed with pedophiles. and just lost their mind and drove into a mall. Or they got a little too close to the truth. Well, that's my point. And now it sounds like they got a little too close to the truth. The point is, now that the truth is being exposed, you no longer, you start teetering towards the opposite theory, you know, going like they knew too much.

Yeah. Whereas before you were like, oh, they're fucking psychopaths. Yeah, yeah. They're fucking insane. Yeah, yeah. They think there's a... But now there's enough being released going, whoa. let's look all the way the fuck back.

There's 20, 30 years of this. Yeah. This shit has been going on for decades. It's got to be like a thing that they do. It does feel like it's like fucking eyes wide shut where just like you got to... In order to make... That's another one. In order to make the billions, you got to...

They're like, look, we'll let you in... We'll let you in on the... On the game. But you got a fucking kid. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's like training day.

Yeah. He's like, shoot him. Yeah. He wanted to kill you. Yeah. Smoke this crack. Yeah. Yeah.

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Say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness. Mando. That's good stuff. Now back to the episode. Yeah. Of course it is. People keep ordering $40,000 with a pizza. Mm-hmm.

And it's taken, yeah, they're like dough. It's going to be hard to get the dough right now. Have you been reading the... No, I'm just how I'm hearing about it. I haven't dug into it. I let the other people do the work. Me too. I'm going to go into the actual files and search.

I'd rather play this tank game on Xbox. 100%. Yeah. That's where you. Yeah. That's where you really got it. Because there's nobody's fucking kids. Even if you found something, no one's listening to you.

You know what I mean? You got to wait until it gets exposed. Yeah. You know? I redact any of it. You know? There's got to be some rules around protecting the identity of some of these fucking people. Outside of the names of the people that the victims.

Yeah. Let it ride, dude. I say the same. Yeah. Let it ride. because that's just it should just be a windfall of fucking horror yeah because it is horrifying and it's it's insane that we've allowed this to continue

and nobody's even nobody's even doing anything about it nobody's looking into any of it no they're literally on like fucking CNN going it's not against a lot of party that's literally that's the defense there's so I wanted to go to a party what's the big deal there's so much evidence and know what parties being what

no one's being arrested yeah it's like really you not one person yeah you got a billion dollars you could party anywhere in the world

you could do literally anything and you wanted to party with Jeffrey Epstein his parties parties were that good what could you're fucking a kid

yeah also if you have that much money why you just buy a kid you have to be fucking kids like it's it's true I'm sorry, but couldn't you like throw your own party?

Yeah, he'll chain up a kid in your house I don't know, maybe it's just It's a lot of work. It's like being married, it gets old. It's like us have people figure out the news first so that we can talk about it. I don't want to do all that heavy lifting. But it's like as a billionaire

As a billionaire, they're like, it's not hard to get laid. Right. So what the fuck? Yeah. What are you doing? You know what I mean?

What you have to be? be fucking kids. There's no way you're going at, you're like, you're like, the only way I can get pussy right now is if I, if I go meet up with Jeff Epstein. If I, I get to email Jeff. Yeah. To get, you're not getting a regular girl.

I guess it's, uh, it's also like, look, you can get a regular hotel, but if somebody's going to set it up for you, it feels different. You know what I mean? What do you mean? If someone's going to cater your party, it feels like, you ever been, you ever make a meal for yourself? And you're like, this doesn't,

taste that good. It's fine. Someone makes you a meal. You're like, this is delicious. True. It's the same fucking meal. Right. If you're gonna...

I'm sorry. Good Lord. I know. This is where... It's almost very similar to my raw chicken idea. Yeah. You want it coming from a very specific farm?

Yes. Yes. And you want it to be an experience that's... Right. Right. Right. From someone else. You don't have to do all the legwork on your own.

Yeah, you don't want to have to go to the farm and kill the chicken. Also, you know, it's proven, like you said, for your chicken farm, you know? Yeah, you want to be doing it in the room next to Bill Gates doing it. And this guy's been doing it for decades. Yeah, and he's doing great. So there's no way we're getting going to get in trouble. Yeah, yeah. Like, if I get caught, like Bill Gates will get caught and then he'll do the covering up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I won't be honestly, ironically enough, on an island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Now let's hear from Mando. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep yourself smelling fresh.

You ever saw yourself on an island? That email comes through. You're going to want to smell nice. You might not have a lot of time. They have tons of sprays and... I got to pee. You got to pay? Yeah.

You got to go upstairs. That's how cold it is. The downstairs toilet is frozen. So it doesn't... It doesn't work. downstairs toilet's totally kaput and I was drunk last night

and pissed in it multiple times so now there's just piss I'm going to need to pour water into the tank and fill it up and flush it once to get all of last night's piss out of the house

so that's today's it's today's housekeeping project and And, yeah. Tommy's on like a 40-minute piss clock. Every 40 minutes he's got to go. Which can't bode well for the bode? Bode well.

It doesn't bode well. It doesn't bode well for his prostate. Right? Is that what makes you have to piss all the time? Is a swollen prostate? Or is it a sensitive bladder? Is your bladder stop being able to expand the way that it needs to expand? You know, like not being able to stretch.

Like not being able to touch your toes. This is a good hot minute of just me talking. And what my brain's working on. You know what the problem is? They've got those heated toilets. Well, it's a problem because what happens is if you don't use it regularly, then it's just a warm pool of water. Yeah.

And it, it's like a swamp water. Like, it's not, it's not from, like, not flushing it enough. I flush, and then it flushes on its own no matter what. The problem is that, like, it, the warming of the seat makes the water a temperature that's, like, good for bacteria. So it just turns. I'm not drinking it. I'm talking about the plastered shit everywhere. No, there shouldn't be shit everywhere.

Oh, go. No, there's like a ring, right? is a ring of scus Go take a pay Let me know how you feel about that toilet I'll wait You didn't piss hard enough to spray it off Brother

I like opening up a toilet that's got shit kicked all over it Because I like to You like the game of it Yeah yeah Yeah you're sport I want to see if I have enough piss And if it's still coming up fast enough Right

To clean it Yeah it's a prostate check Yeah Yeah See what your power is Yeah yeah It's a speed run Yeah yeah

It's nice. A little piss test. Because I used to be able to clean, bro, the messiest of toilets. Let me tell you some. No problem. There's one thing I've always talked highly about. And it's the power of your piss.

It would be... It's one of my better qualities. My bedroom was next to our bathroom. And I would hear you lump around the corner. Kick the seat up. It would go think, like a horse piss. that was immediate and it would cut off.

It was an absolute fire host. Just a fucking piss rod. And then shut it down immediately. Yeah. That is, let me tell you something, you're going to miss those days. I know we're only five years apart. I know. Your birthday's tomorrow.

I know. Christopher. Big B day. Happy birthday. Big B day coming. It's going to. Although it's funny. It's going to fall off, dude.

You know, as I told you before, there's two weeks. big aging years and human beings. It's 45 and 60. I don't know. I'm hoping to hold on to the hose. Again, that's why I look to shit-covered toilet is I get to, you know. Let's face time your dad. Sometimes you got to flex.

Let's face time your dad. Ask him how the hose is working. How's your hose going? I bet it's good. My dad's got one kidney. I can't imagine what he'd say about his piss. Has there ever been a guy who had one kidney that received a kidney transplant to get back to two?

typically doesn't happen when you're old. No, I know, but like just like if you're like, yeah, like a rich guy, you're like, nah, give me two again. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, if you're fucking, if you're wealthy and fucking kids, you need two kidneys. That's an interesting. I wonder why two kidneys.

I guess the processing. I know, but like you only get one liver, one stomach. You should have two livers. I mean, I should have four livers, but the body should have two livers, two kidneys. Yeah. Double it up, redundant. Yeah, but we weren't eating poisons. growing, you know.

I think we were always eating poisons. Because you didn't, you couldn't clean the water. And, like, how far are you going to really walk to shit? You know what I mean? You mean, if you're in a town. You mean to things. You're in an old, old... Not to shit.

Yeah, yeah. But to shit, to piss. It's like, you wake up in the middle of the night. It's, the year is... No, you're dumping outside of your fucking... 400 BC. Yeah. How far are you going?

you can't there's animals right there's also like you know if you're living in the city if you're in like downtown egypt yeah right it's like what you piss in a pot i guess they piss in a pot i doubt it i think they did i think you piss in a pot and then you'd be like you get up in the morning you're like i'm gonna take all the piss and shit down to the old they still shit in the street india it's fucking 2026 in the street oh is this news to you i figured they were but i thought I thought they had holes. They know what I thought they're... They dig a hole.

Yeah, yeah. That hole's got to fill up fast. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean, think about a porta potty at an Eagles game, how fast that fills up. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Oh, my God.

Imagine a whole country that's just the parking lot of an Eagles game. That's what it is. It's that crowded. Yeah. That's what it is. It's fucking nuts. Oh, my God. What a sad fucking poem.

Did you see that? I saw the video of the guy. It had to be a sketch or something, but it was a guy in India with just like a big, it looked like he had a big pool noodle. And he was just standing next to a train at like a part where there's like a beautiful like vista. And he was just waiting there for someone to be like filming it, like hanging out of the train. And someone goes by. I swats his phone.

I saw it. Steals his phone. It's a beautiful move. It was so great. Yeah. It's like someone's going to want to take a picture of this, and I'm going to get a new iPhone. They do the same shit in like Jamaica or like, I don't know,

like in some country where there's Sicilians. And they'll like hold the phone out of the car when they're like slowing down to like a red light or something. Yeah. And they're acting like they're taking a selfie or talking to somebody and just somebody like walking slowly like next to the car. And they're like, they come up and grab it. But they're ready for it and they just roll the window up.

The guy's like... Just hang them. That would be such a fun prank. Yeah. If you had like a wire cable connected to that phone... Yeah. To like... To the frame of the car.

No, no. Oh. And he just grabs it and you just... That would... That would be so sick. You'd have to really build a mechanism to like grab his hand. It's worse. things we think about

It'd be like this scene from Snatch where he like grabs his tie and puts it up in the window What was that? Running out of steam Running out of steam taking deep breaths We're doing good dude

47 minutes in We're doing great We're cooking No we're doing great I'm fucking You know I got the Got a little cold

You got a Not anymore I'm coming off It's so funny dude When you were like You were like when he landed. I'm sick from the flight. I'm just looking at you.

45 whiskeys. Yeah, it's just air pressure up there. Yeah. I don't know. Something I got to cut a cold up on the flight. No, I was sick before I started the trip. Why? What did you take this to you? I didn't even drink in first class.

That's how you know I'm sick. Yeah, that's... Here's how you know when I'm sick. That's like a four alarm fire. If I'm not having sex, jerking off or drinking, I'm truly sick. Yeah.

And I didn't have a... I didn't have a drink in first class. How was that possible? Because I truly... I couldn't stomach it. Did you sleep? I was on fucking mucinix, cold and flu.

No, I'd sleep. I can't sleep. That shouldn't slow you down. That shouldn't slow you down. No, but I'm saying, like, I was like a mess. It was a mess of my head. My chest. I've never...

been too under the weather to have a drink. I'd one drink. In first class. Yeah, yeah. Never. No, I swear to. Never. The only time I've never,

I'm not drank at first class is just a tyranny of will where it's just like, I'm not doing this anymore. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep showing up to where I'm going. Shit-faced. I had one and it was,

I swear I got I had half of it. I got a whiskey and coke. I got a whiskey and ginger. I got a one bourbon. And you didn't need any of the practice. One bourbon and ginger. They didn't give me pretzels. It's first class.

Crackers? They gave me a fucking meat on. It sucked. Oh, yeah. I tried to eat it. It was dog shit. It was American. What'd you get?

It was American. Oh, American. Yeah. American sucks. American is dog shit. American sucks so bad. It's so bad. Why don't they just make it nice?

Because it's the fucking, you know. But why not? Like, I don't know. There's got to be someone who's just like, look. just make me the CEO. You can pay me 250 grand a year. We're just going to make it nice.

Well, it's not rocket science. They're just all skimming. Yeah. So they can fly to an island and fuck kids. Yes. They're all put in their pockets going. That's the reason that you're getting a shitty meal on the flight. If we can fuck all over all these people,

pretend it's gas money and just go. Calling fuel gas. We get some air gas You know what I mean But that's what they're doing This is an airline charging you a fortune for the ticket I mean we need money to get home dude Like it's like a comic

Yeah yeah Doing a spot on the bar show You gotta get at least $20 dude You're not getting me a gas money I'm supposed to get back to But it's truly what it is You know we got to go to Orlando after this Give me nothing

How are these skypigs gonna eat Take care of my babies. That's money. Good Lord. Yeah. What's on the docket for tonight, Tom? I don't know, pal. Gonna go home?

You're going to walk across the street. Dump out? Yeah, I'll probably just walk across the street. Take a dump in the hot toilet. Put the hot target. Can you go upstairs and take a look at the fucking mayhem up there? Yeah, I'll take a look. I'll take a look at all right.

And you have to be honest. I will. And pull up both seats. No, of course I did it. There's two seats. There's a top and a seat. It's disgusting. I've never seen anything like it.

How you can live like that. Can confirm the front part of the toilet splat. Insane. It's a hard target to hit. It's on the bidet area, too. Oh, maybe that's what it is. Oh, it's the bidet swall? Yeah.

When you do the bidet... Do you wipe and then spray or do you spray and then wipe? Wipe, spray, wipe. Wipe, spray, wipe, yeah. I clean the whistle as if there was no bidet. Yes. I get... I don't really know how to use it.

I only recently started wiping and spraying. So I've just been spraying. Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe. As if you never thought this existed. Right. Then you get the fucking spray. Okay. And then you clean.

All right. And now it's eatable. I don't know. Assable. I feel like the spray should come from the other way. From the front. You got long nuts. No, they're not that long, but it's like they're going to get hosed.

They're like a berm. You know what I mean? You got to work through labia and nutsacks. Why not go through the back? It's where everyone's asses. It's a one thing that unites. Like, when I'm done shay, I'll pull my, pull my junk up and just spray it the other way. So it's got a clean ramp off.

If you spray from the back, it's going to hit something. No, it's not. It's a direct shot upwards. It doesn't go. No, it's angled. You got your asshole like this. And you got the balls and shit. Sprays from an angle back here.

It's just spraying it all along. No, it's not. Oh, my God. It's not how it works. is how it works. It isn't. Your balls don't get wet when you use it? No.

No, it's a direct fucking dartboard. It goes right to my bun. I clench up. I have to tighten so it doesn't fill my bladder. Yeah. Oh, no. I'd love it to fill my... Let's go.

I'd love it to fill me up. I would actually like that. I would like, if it filled just a little bit of my ass up with water and I could fart it out to, like, get it clean... But the rest of your... Your body's hydrated? No, it wouldn't go, yeah, it wouldn't go that. Yeah, no, it's not a glass of water.

Yeah. I'm not like, hey, I don't even have to drink water today. I'll fill my butthole up with some water and walk around. You ever see that mechanism that they did for, for beers where instead of the spout coming down, it would come from the base so that it wouldn't. What do you mean? Like there wouldn't. Like a keg? Yeah, so like a keg and a tap.

You tap the bottom of the keg, so it just. No, no, no. There's a fucking, there's some beer mechanism where you take a, a beer glass, and it has, like, a little hole in it, and you press it, and the beer flows from the bottom up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, doesn't breathe too much. Doesn't breathe too much. Yeah, de-oct, de-gast. You don't get too many bottles. Bubbles. Yeah, degass. It doesn't. You don't digass it. You can't degass it. I've started doing the pour over coffee again. I'm very, very, I'm thinking a lot about degassing. There you go.

Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. What's your process? Because I've learned a lot about this. You have? Yeah. Well, I don't have the scale.

I'm not out of my fucking mind. You don't have to do that. So I just get the water ratio to the 1 to 15 or 1 to 16. And then I just grind that up, toss it in. I heat the water to 205. Let it cool down for a second, get it around 200. Give a little degass. Yeah, good.

wait 30 seconds 30 40 you know what I mean see how we're doing you're pacing all the test so far man I've seen a lot of guys do you fuck kids at any moment no I'm just focusing on the coffee yeah yeah trying to get that out of my head the desire do you do it every day I've started doing it every day yeah it's great yeah I didn't do it today though

that's great yeah it's great I got espresso pods of my jacket really The espresso pods, yeah Like the ones you punch through Yeah Because they're not giving me enough Plastic there Bonds

It's in the hotel I know But the plastic is You can't put hot water Through plastic It's not good for you Yeah It's in the hotel I say

I know But They're not giving me enough pods I'll be fine It's not good There's cancer-causing agents for sure Oh yeah That's why you're shit in blood

We'll start now. Yeah. We got clean it up. Speaking of shit, blood, I have my... Surgery coming up? Yeah.

I'm excited for that. Me too, man. It's gonna be a game changer. Yeah. Like I said, I hope they use lasers. They're not. They really ought to use lasers. Well, that's apparently a process,

but they don't need to do that anymore. So... You're going to stitch you? No. Ban me. I got a rubber ban me. Let those fuckers die slowly. Getting, yeah,

like getting rid of the extra pinky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it, dude. I have five pinkies in my ass. I wonder if people are upset by that. Like, if you were actually born with six fingers and your parents got rid of one, would you be a mad?

I'd be mad. Yeah. Yeah, it's not your fucking choice. Yeah, I'm surprised. I'm still pissed. My parents took my fucking bonds. My savings bonds. They took your savings bonds?

Yeah. So my aunts would. They buy it for you on your birthday, don't they? My aunt and uncles would gift me. a savings bond on my birthday growing up as a child to like whatever and saying at 18 this is your money. Yeah.

Never sold a dollar. Parents took all my fucking money. I know. They've done it. But it's like 200 bucks. It was probably like 200 bucks. But still it's my 200. I know, I know. That's my 200. That was, it's so nuts when that, yeah.

When that came around you're like 15th birthday, you're like $150? bucks. Uh-oh. You know what? I'm moving out. I don't need you anymore.

Sam is my being one percent over 10 years. One trip to the candy store you're like I need I need more bonds. Call me, me. You sure we didn't lose any bonds? All right, brother. All right, guys, thank you

for all your support. Yeah. There's a new look at this coming out on Patreon. on only. I know you've been asking questions about this. We've got a few things coming up. So thank you and stick around. Yeah, stay, stay warm. Stay drunk.

Don't fuck kids.