Stuff Island - Miami Nights - Stuff Island #190

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Tommy is back from his trip to Miami Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Make your own cold brew at home! Go to https://www.drinktrade.com/stuffisland to get your FREE cold brew maker with select cold brew subscriptions. Take the first step to get some help and get 10% off your first month at Https://www.Betterhelp.com/stuffisland Start using Cash App! Enter referral code stuffisland and get 10 dollars! Terms apply and are only available for a limited time so act fast! Get your first month FREE for Bluechew - use promocode "stuffisland" on https://www.bluechew.com to get your first month for FREE SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just keep that stupid mug off the fucking camera. That dirt bag face of yours. Sorry, I'm just trying to kick you down a little notch. You got engaged today, dude. Yeah. I got to take you down a peg. Yeah. Things are on the uptake for this boy. Let me kick him with the nuts real quick.

That's great. That is great. Are you excited? Congratulations. Yeah. You got your whole life. Think you can make it. It's very sweet. Yeah, it is very sweet. It's very nice. Feels like a good moment. She's a doll. Yeah, it is very sweet. It's very nice Feels like a good moment. She's a doll. Yeah, she's yes Piece a

I mean they watch Bucca when I was in Miami, but dog has a fucking limp. Oh really what happened? Josh got drunk and broke my dog's leg He got all military and stepped on my dog's leg Boog is probably that's what I'm thinking. She was going crazy Yeah, she was going crazy. She's a she's a gazelle. She is. Yeah, she's hopping around our backyard. She's got no chill She's trying to eat sticks whole. Yeah, I know dude. Yeah dogs are fucking nuts I still think she's I mean she's one years old.. She's like 1214 months or whatever. He's still puppy. She's still dumb as shit. Yeah, about stuff like that. I know. But I remember just the dog fucking just just shredding a stick.

Yeah, that's all she does. Yeah. No matter what you give her or something. Yeah, her whole objective is to break it down. So whether she'll use her incisors, she'll go like side incisors. She was already ripping through the football, trying to get the stitches off. She finds the weakest point of anything, goes, I'm going to fuck this up. And thank God, she doesn't do any like furniture stuff. She doesn't do any blankets or just like, she'll not, you know, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll investigate. She'll investigate. But she's like, like if there's any life in that blanket. Yeah, and there's no kickback

I'm not gonna beat this thing. Uh you know the stick fights back stick fights back sticks needle in the gums Yeah, she likes to fuck shit up Yeah, so yeah, it makes sense that she's still gimping around is she still limping. Yeah What do you think the days how many limp days before I spend way too much money to keep pushing it? Yeah, get this bitch in a cast. You gotta push it. Yeah.

Yeah. But she doesn't, it's not like a, she doesn't do any yelping to touch. Is it on the floor? She just, she just, you know, she favors it. She's got a little waggle. Yeah, and then she just holds it up. Is it front, Paul? Yeah. Just. She's got a little waggle. Yeah, and then she just holds it up It's a front paw. Yeah Just it's her front right

The way she like hunts like squirrels like she'll get in that hunting pose Yeah, now she just does that cuz it's it's fucked up cuz of Josh. All right. Well, that's good You can miss she'll start to maybe appreciate what laying downs like yeah, you know what I mean? She gets that what laying down is like. Yeah. You know what I mean? She gets that. I don't know. No, you know, you just start finding out

that laying down is pretty great. Pretty chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to be screaming around the house, barking at everything. You can just actually, you know. Relax. Yeah.

Well technically she's like 10, right? I, seven, right? Well seven's one year. Oh, okay. So okay, she's eight and a half. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's still young.

Yeah, she's still stupid as fuck. She's eight and a half. Yeah. Yeah, she's still young. Yeah, she's still stupid Yeah, but thank you Josh. Thank you. That was that's huge. Yeah, we'll have another dog Yeah, our dog is limping now too though. Really? Yeah this morning. She woke up with a little hit like a hitching or giddy up Maybe they just scrapping. Yeah, maybe just. Maybe they just scissored. Two Lez dogs just fucking scissored on like one. You had two dogs in the house? Yeah, and our landlord came by who didn't know that we had dogs. Oh, that's right. What happened? Did you hide the balls? Did you hide the... Yeah, dude. We packed everything up and went and grabbed the cage from your house.

So we were just gone for like four hours. He came through and I had just like... It was so obvious something was happening because he was I was like yeah Make sure you let me know if like 30 minutes What the fuck is this guy's problem? Dude, he's landlords. Just think the dogs are gonna choose for the drywall. No, I'm not talking about that I'm talking about every time we're on the pod. He's talking about this guy stopping by oh the landlord and I'm Here yeah about this guy stopping by. Oh, the landlord? And I've headed up to here. He told me last year when we moved in for the summer, the first summer in Austin, he asked

me to spray the outside of the house 10 minutes each side, like twice a week, every week, for the entire summer. And he wasn't going to kick in any utilities. He just wanted me to go out there and do that keep my my bricks wet. Yeah, you wanted to hose the exterior of the house What's his nationality? He's a white dude. Yeah, but French. What's his last name? I should do last name. Yeah, I Don't know. I just think I think if a landlord was visiting quarterly. Yeah, I'd go. It's a lot. This is crazy a lot And this guy's he's on at least once a month

Yeah, he's like a once once a month once every other month stopping by it's for something. It's fucking insane. What was it this time? This time was an AC check Yeah, not that's not real. Yeah, that's yeah, I think he just doesn't he doesn't try like yeah, I need like a warrant to do that Yeah, go to the court there is like a thing you can't you don't have to let him in right I mean It's like squatters rights squatters. I just own your home Go on vacation. I do rent for one 12 month period don't you have to ask my permission to walk the fuck in? If you own it definitely yeah, you can shoot a landlord if you're my landlord is the complete antithesis of this comes same yeah he's a hundred percent French yes it's amazing he goes oh no I do not want to come into your

home yeah I asked him to come in he goes yeah so come on come in come in I want you to see the place yeah he wants to show off what he did with it yeah I want to show you that I'm not you. You know what I mean? Well it's crazy cause we have like, it's so well kept too. It's like, it's never been an issue. We pay rent on time, we do, there's been zero reason for him to be an investigator. Did you have like a hangover sweat picking up all the old dog shit in the backyard? Yeah. Is he doing, he's doing, he's navigating the backyard corner to corner? He's driving by, he's hit me up a couple times. I don't know where he lives, but he'll he'll clock that I haven't weed because we're in an HOA So he'll be like you need to pick the weeds

There's not your job. There's weeds up front. It's not your job Yeah, I don't know the legality of it all because I think that I'm supposed to take over the the the Laundry sir on duties of I think when I signed the lease it said that but I mean I'm out of there like three months anyways so I mean let him have his little fun yeah it's only a quarter of a year it's kind of a long day. It's like it's right around I'm out there in three months. Do you know the penalty of the dog? It's well she's an ESA. That's what we did. Yeah. So in our contract it said you can't have a dog. And then we got a dog after we moved in last year. And then I told Mara, I was like, just call somebody, call therapists and say you need a dog to just be a normal

person. Yeah. It's crazy how easy it is. And contractually in Texas, because it's state to state, they cannot come after you legally. It's crazy contractually in Texas because it's state-to-state. They cannot come after you. Mm-hmm legally It's crazy how easy it is to it wasn't even like a process. I know it's like it natural. Yeah, you just go I'm scared of heights Here's some coke Oh Bad Speaking of coke and retards. I was just in Miami for four days. Oh, dude. What a hellhole It's dog shit. I mean beautiful weather beautiful weather

You know, it's got to be I've actually never been I've been close. It's the first time I ever went. Yeah Yeah, I've like either stopped by the airport or something like that This is the first time I actually walked around in a nice part of Miami. And the house was insane. I assume they're just shooting porn there. Everybody looks like they are. Because it's ugly rich Jewish old white men,

that's the director. And then pinatas of sex. Pig porn, dude. We're talking like everything you know, everything's fake Yes, just old gangly old Jews carrying this little fucking meat puppet around. Oh, is that what they're all holding these, you know These hot Mexicans and Latinas. They're just They're all filled with fucking gas. You know what I mean? It's disgusting

Gas, you know what I mean? It's disgusting. God damn. Yeah, it has it has no identity. Nobody knows what I've heard that I heard the food kind of sucks. Actually, we've the food was much better, but you have to spend it's like Austin, you got to spend two 300 bucks for a couple. Yeah, yeah, it was you got to spend a lot of money. You got to go to nice, nice restaurants. Because the cuisines are great you do get a lot of wonderful cuisines Cuban Spanish. Yeah but Cuban Spanish it's not that much going on there is there no no what's

Cuban cuisine the sandwich. No it's like artichoke spinach dip with flair. No it's wonderful. It's great. You've been cuisine. What come on. It's what I've been to Cuba and it was the best cuisine I've had possibly anywhere, but they were also white dudes. Yeah. Yeah that are Michelin star chef Yeah, no no nobody Had Cuban food it's like yeah, I've had your bad sandwich Yeah, yeah, I did get a Cuban in the fucking airport on the way home. Yeah, not girls I was like, you know, yeah my soul my soul ruin this whole trip. Yeah, isn't it just a ham and cheese sandwich? Yeah It is with pickles. What the fuck are we doing a little mustard? Yeah. Yeah in a panini press

It's the worst ham and cheese sandwich you've ever had as a Cuban well They put ham and they're supposed to put pork as well. It's not the same pork. Yeah, it's a different style Of cooking process what else they got what else is Cuban? They got no noodles. They got no noodles zero noodles dude No, they do a pizza and he type have a pizza type thing. No. No, there really isn't that much. I think they soft boil baseball. I mean, their kids, it's their only out, is to fucking hit a back door slider. It's the only success rate of getting out of that hole. He's just hitting it to the outfield and he starts eating it.

He's starving. His mom died last year. It's leather, there's nutrient in there. It's cow. Just coughing up corks from the center. Nobody eats beef, it's all for the baseballs. It was fun as fuck though. Her father, my girl's father rented this place.

It was a huge Airbnb on the waterfront. It was like that waterway that, the ocean is on the other side. It's kind of like Cal. You know, in Jersey, you have the bay side, then you have the ocean side. They have this like inlet that goes through the ocean. So it's actually getting like rinsed out. It's like, I feel like the Jersey Shore ocean bay is like.

That's bay bay. Yeah. Yeah, that's a full on bay. This is, who knows what this is. This is like, it's like the mini Hudson. You know what I mean? Yeah. It. This is like it's like the mini Hudson It's all fucking it's all yachts. There was a yacht parked out in the back. Yeah, we got on it He just rented it. He's got on a yacht

For one night. So the yacht was part of the house And then at one point the owner of the house owned the yacht and then everybody rents this yacht from the owner and then My girl's dad was like, let's just take the yacht out and everyone's like in a group text like yeah well fucking send it and then they didn't pick us up so he him there was this like it was docked there it was docked but you needed a guy to shoot you need the captain to chat so the captain shows up We're throwing a ball in the backyard. This is like Friday The captain shows up and then this hot Latina stewardess a boat pig amazing He's like yeah boat pork and the way she was like hey Capitan and they're clearly fucking this dude's married he's got a ring on and

That's like there. That's the whole life, right? So this guy only gets paid I found out the captain gets paid a hundred and seventy five dollars an hour to pretty sail these ships to basically sexually assault young women yeah because all these people are just like your captain yeah that's his whole his whole sht This is a great gig. It's a great fucking gig It's a great gig and I got pissed thinking about it Yacht captain in Miami our captain and most of the whole week was just going beach to pool Jumping off yachts. Where did you guys go out into the ocean? Yeah Yeah, it was great. Did you fish or anything? No, no fishing just cruise a lot of seaweed very weak surf You know, it's it. Yeah, it's yeah, it was like a lake, but clear, beautiful

barracudas. You see some barracudas, three boys. You guys just went on a booze cruise. Yeah. OK. Yeah. The yacht itself. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And then I cut myself. I almost got stitches. I almost had to go to the E.R. These are butterflies. You're drinking cut myself. I almost got stitches. I'm set to go to E.R. These are butterflies. You're drinking and you felt you and the dog. You and the dog limping.

We both came out with a whip. Like father like daughter. She is exactly like you. Wait, so what? Dude, I jumped out of a pool and I was going to get this the water skip ball, the Woboba. So I bought knockoff Wobobas from Walgreens. And I just jumped out of the pool, smacked my fucking, this is at like one o'clock in

the morning, and I grabbed the ball, come back to the pool, and you couldn't see my leg. Just gushing? Gushing. And the thing was open so couldn't see my leg. Just gushing? Gushing. And the thing was open so you could see the bone. Just flapped? Yeah, and Maris' stepsister just immediately found these strips and sutured me up. Saved me.

Get back in the pool. Get back in the fucking pool. What are we doing? Did you have blood all over the house? No, no. No, I was good. I went back in the pool. Chlorine helped, you know. Cleaned it out?

Cleaned it out. Oh my god. How shit-faced were you when this went down? Let's talk about his marriage. No, I was on good behavior. I was up at 8 every morning. You gotta like, you gotta turn it on. mom and dad. I know this is a family vacation That's more that's more. It's more impressive that you're getting up. You're not taking it easy. No once I get up You're up. I'm going so you're blacked out 1 a.m. Of the pool. Yeah Smashing my fucking ankles against the side. Everyone's asleep. Everyone's scared. No, there was no all the kids were up

Yeah, because she has three step so right right and then me Maura and then my fucking ankles against the sides. Everyone's asleep? Everyone's scared. No, all the kids were up. Yeah. Because she has three step siblings. Oh, right, right. And then me, Mara, and then another guy. Parents are sleeping. Ping pong tournaments, it got fucking nuts. It was exactly what I thought it was.

We bought three footballs, five water balls. Every day was just, I've never had a vacation where I just got home and went hmm. Let's get let's get back to work Yeah, yeah never been relaxed enough to just get some fucking sleep. No Just the Sun comes up you get fucking hammered and have as much fun as possible all day What's the point of travel? I? And have as much fun as possible all day. What's the point of travel? I'm gonna read on the beach the fuck out of here now read my obituary first I'd rather die in that fucking it is true. You go so hard on vacation. You need a second vacation

You do you do? Yeah, and we will look. Yeah, like an incubation tank, dude I jumped off the yacht cuz I just like, yeah, it hit me. I was like, I gotta jump off a yacht before. And instead of jumping off the side, I jumped where if you were to swim, you know, like the back little deck piece platform. Yeah. Yeah. The platform I jumped towards the platform, missed it by like a hair.

And her Palestinian father was like, okay, let's go. Like he's got this like deep. He doesn't get angry when he gets angry. It's very like low key. He goes, captain, let's go. Let's go. So we just had to leave. Wait, how did you jump off and almost hit the platform?

Cause it's like, there was like a gap. You think about like the back of a. So instead of going right into the water. When I say yacht, it wasn't like a giant yacht. It was probably like 40 feet. Oh damn. Yeah, that's big, but it's big but it's not like yeah I'm jumping But I did the right thing cuz I was boozing all day and I gripped my my toes to the edge Instead of just yeah, cuz you can you slippy? Yeah, and I thought about it calm myself Yeah, and I thought about it calm myself saw the distance and went I can just do this with a soft toss And I missed it by a fucking con here

It would have been ER time we're talking straight the boats like this, right The boat this is the bow yeah They're going towards the stern and then it's got a dive like this and then it stops here and the dive platform is like Flat here. Yeah, so I'm on this the second level here And instead of going off the side instead of going this way and just having fun. I went fuck it Let's roll the dice and I went this boat in the way You know my jump needs more boat. Yeah it was so stupid. So stupid.

It's one of those wake ups you go oh my god that could have been, I mean my legs would have folded like a chair. Yeah. It would have been both shins. Yeah both shins. My ankle would have been backwards dude Here's you next would snap your foot backwards There's a guy in a boat he's like fishing under a bridge and

He like accidentally leaves the boat slightly in reverse so it's like backing up into like one of the just pillars pillars and Then he realizes it he runs grabs the throttle and thinks he's put in neutral but he's actually just put it reverse no totally forward yeah so at this point it's hit the post he throws it just going forward but it's going so fast he gets thrown to the back And this thing just is a big you and smash is back into the bill So fucking funny I Just saw that's all this like high-end boat. I don't know if it was rented I saw this video on Twitter where he's chasing down these jet skis that were clearly talking shit to him

Have you seen this video? No, it's like two days ago. I was I was threw up this episode is brought to you by Trade coffee. I'm obsessed with cold brew and I drink it year-round But until now I've always had to settle for store-bought concentrates or shell out eight dollars for a cup of my local coffee Yeah at my local coffee shop just to get my fix But then I discovered trade and let me tell you I finally am able to make my own cold brew at home. It's insanely easy, and the best part, cold brew I make is seriously delicious. Trade Coffee.

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That's unbelievable. If you were looking for a restaurant and you saw those numbers, that ratio, you're going to that Turkish meat shop. You are. Right, Chris? Absolutely. He's chasing down these jet skis.

The jet ski is like, you can't catch me, you can't catch me. You know, they're talking shit. And he goes, the one guy gets away from him, and he goes after the other guy, and then slams into, it's like between like docks. He slams into it's like between like docks. He slams in another boat. There's like four fat girls in the front and they're just like, everybody's hanging on. There's four other people like in the captain's area and everyone's like, dude, calm down.

And then he goes, it's in the fuck another boat and then tries to reverse and the boat just fuck it stops moving. He smashes in like four boats Imagine the lawsuit how much money dude they talking a couple hundred thousand easy Boats getting out just renting a boat and then chasing some dude on a fucking jet ski Because he talks shit to you or one of your girls. Oh my god That's living and when a boat gets out of control The oversteer. Oh, yeah best part. Yeah

That's one of my favorite videos of all time is the fucking Oh the one where everybody gets knocked out. Yeah, the guy's like it's a it's a speedboat And he starts turning it on and there's this like idiot and everyone's like Yeah, yeah, you can tell there's music on the boat. It's just one side Do it's also the tough part about driving the boat is the only thing you're holding on to is the wheel yeah, so Yeah, yeah, yeah So if you start getting not yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah It's fucking crazy man death and dismemberment. Yeah, it's good stuff is great stuff

It's all we got man. It's death and dismemberment. I wish there were more animal death videos Animals no, I mean like killing people. Oh Yeah, you know I Really want to see like a bear rip someone apart. Ah, dude, it's it's it's hard to find. Yeah, it's very hard to find Even that shark video. I always felt like we got jipped on that shark video. I got shipped on with the one in Yeah, where he's like kind of out there. It's like Iraq or Iran. Yeah, it's like it's weird. It's like a It's like a Middle Eastern country or is it Eastern European? I said something like that Not enough it's not yeah, it's like they knew nothing about what a screen angle or zooming Yeah, you do get a glimpse into the absolute horror that that man was going through and everyone's eating like fucking ham and eggs. Oh

You're all eating breakfast. Yes Women yeah Take a quick swim through this channel and a gray white was like no you're not Fucking not yeah, you ain't taking a quick dip Rip you to fucking pieces in front of your parents You ain't taking a quick dip Your parents We did that we because we went we went to Colorado to get in the mountains and

This is this Pay it few days and honor the boy in honor of her by sprinkling around the mountains a little bit And we were just hiking we would get up every morning and just hike for like four hours to just some just like a waterfall or something. Yeah, just getting out in the wilderness. And on the third day, Sadie finally looked up like. How are there bears in the area? Because I was like, there's a lot of people here. Bears are going to be fucking around here.

Yeah, I mean, and it was like there are bears here. There's gonna be fucking around here. You know what I mean? And it was like, there are bears here, there's a lot of bears here. Seeing bears is very common, it's very regular, expect to see bears. And dude, we had just been walking by ourselves. Black bears though, right? Yeah, yeah, but still, it's like they'll fuck you up. Yeah.

Oh, we saw sharks. Oh, you did? Two small, one was like they'll fuck you up. Yeah. Oh, we saw sharks. Oh, you did? Two small, one was like six, I'm sorry. No, you had a rip, yeah. One was like six feet, one was like three or four feet and they were next to each other. And everybody's getting out of the water and then trying to warn the next beach down.

And my girl goes to the... Lifeguard? Lifeguard, starts screaming at him. Like there's a shark in the water and he's like, why are you yelling at me? And I was like, I get it. That's what she does. No, but he goes very calmly. He goes, no, that's one of the nice ones. They don't bite. It's not a biting shark. So they're just like, you know, soft sharks that are just cruising. But like, to her point, she's like, we don't fucking know that.

We're not from here. And nobody else knows what you know. Yeah. So maybe just blow the fucking whistle. Also, you don't know those are soft sharks this is my point about the brown the black bear it's like there's gonna be one black bear that's like my brother that's bipolar he's gonna fucking hit you when you don't deserve one of them's gonna bite yes who knows how hungry they are if we run into a black bear on the trip

what do you think it's gonna leave yeah Yeah. I lived in New York City for 12 years. You know, me black bears. I've seen aggressive on the change around. Yeah. Come home from a show after midnight. Anyway, and they tell you to get big or whatever. You're supposed to be like, ah, yeah, start screaming. It's like, no way am I doing that. You didn't see one, did you? No, thank God. But if if I had known that before we were walking around in the woods yeah Hours and hours and hours. Yeah, I would have been fucking panicking the whole time. Yeah would have ruined the whole yeah It's though. Yeah, so it's like it's yeah

It's a good space, but I hope maybe we could have got some like bear spray or something. I don't know yeah You really thought if I threw a big enough rock It'd go away Right, I don't think so piss it off. Yeah, I think I gotta be confused Bro you'd have to hit it directly in the forehead for it to be even faced no, but I mean Something's throwing something to a bear should really shock it. In my opinion, trying to put myself into a bear's brain. Punched a thousand years of evolution. Just one rock throws a bear off.

Yeah, you'd think they'd go like, oh shit, this is, I'm dealing with something different. You know what I mean? This guy's an athlete. Yeah, you'd think they'd go like oh shit. This is I'm dealing with something different This guy's an athlete I Don't need athletes Yeah, you think you'd think it would really startle so you got to you got to a nice a Nice Creek you spread some fur. Yeah, it was huge fucking waterfalls like a 300 foot waterfall Sun was coming right over the mountains, but when we got up there just morning Yeah, rainbows everywhere just missed also to you're like sweaty, and then it's just like yeah, dude. It's sick

You're walking through the woods you can feel like the temperature change wind and then like you can feel the It's like it's raining misting just a little bit. Yeah, you get in there It's pretty fucking epic. That's awesome. Yeah, it's almost meant to be the woods Damn, the woods is awesome. I know we're all good. We everybody online has already said we're gonna lose you to the woods Sir might be pushing this There's pushing the agenda the man there has been adjusted. I will say though. It's so fucking dry up there Yeah, dude, but you know took all your boogers are just blood yeah, and then at night my nose was literally whistling Yeah

It's dry. It's dry as hell. I was like waking myself up for with my nose It's insane It's so fucking dry There isn't just like a wrinkly leathery mess well they are you do see it you do see that There's like this old lady you You ever see those old ladies in like, yeah, they're kind of like in sports towns or like those like hiking towns. All they do is run. Yeah, they're 90 years old. And it looks like they've been running the whole time.

Yeah. And they're just leather. Yeah, just pure leather and just that weird spider muscle. Yeah, I had this conversation with Mara about like, you know young girls do like fucking Botox and all this shit and then she's worried about like sun exposure and UV rays and now there's cancer causing ingredients and sunscreen. It's like, well the people that you see

that are complete leather bags and fucking South Jersey. Yeah, that's their whole Personality is every day that they lay out ten to two Yeah, and that's why they age a decade every year. It's also you have to like really fucking try Yeah, and it's also what else were they doing? Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it wasn't that there was like carcinogens in the yogurt They're using a wine quarter Talking pure white absolutely shit face then laying in the Sun. Yeah, it's like yeah. Yeah, you're gonna look fucked up. It's great One weekend a month is pretty sick, dude.

I wanna do that as much as his landlord visits him. Dude. Once a month, get fucked up and fall asleep in the sun. I love it, you just gotta hit the sun protection hard. You get the sun shirts going. You can just rock out on the beach. You can spend every day on the beach with the sun shirt. You know what you do, you're one million percent right.

For white people, you gotta look at the fucking natives. When I say natives around here, Mexicans. Mexicans are wearing fucking turtlenecks, they're wearing a full, these guys are landscaping in 120 degree weather. They got multiple layers on, long sleeve shirts, hoodies sometimes, you know, like know this is that's UV protection you don't have to fucking bombard your pores with all these chemicals that the Jews created so that

we slowly die no dude I swear to God I just swear a mock turtle neck that's lightweight water-resistant I just bought a bunch of stuff so I can just be in the Sun the whole time swinging the golf club in the backyard I bet you did. Yeah, it's great. I'm literally yeah, I bet you did. That's why you don't text me It's gonna look like it's gonna be like a free Palestine Just looking through a slit Just looking through a slit You need something flowing yeah heat off you

Punch a burkens Alina bur a gear for confident Men's park you need in the Texas you get it on get on it. Chubbies Chubbies get on your burger your berk of golf gear forestals Steal that idea. I don't care How's your golf game? get better you I am getting better but better. You navigate. I am getting better, but at a week where I wasn't playing. So today I was out there trying to get it all back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It was my thing. I was focused on now I'm trying to remember. Yeah. Imagine playing once every two years, dude, and then beating yourself up about not having a good chip. It's like, well, you can't expect you know, frequently you have to go off to just get a rhythm. Yeah, it's it's too much. But it's such a simple game. That's what's so, you know, deceiving. Yeah. Is you're like, why can't I just like, yeah, it seems very simple. Yeah. And you go, why can't I just put my hands in the right place?

You can't. Yeah. It drives me crazy. Josh, you go get why can't I just put my hands in the right place? You can't. Yeah. It drives me crazy. Josh, will you go get me one of these? Just pick a flavor. Pick a flavor, any flavor. Can't believe he's getting married. It's pretty awesome.

Do you know where you're going to get married? Uh, probably Florida. Ugh. married? I know a yacht guy that will sexually assault your wife. Yeah, Captain was going nuts. Capitan. He was he was going hard in the paint. Was he wasn't even driving the boat? He's just I can't say names, but he's just a lot of there's family orientation that was being Pursued That's wild. Yeah

Yeah, so he was like a 45 year old Maybe no, he's probably 55 Married is anyone gonna leave her telling this 19 year old girl that they have an open relationship He's trying to exchange numbers with a young girl Yeah, well we found out I put a kibosh she was amenable to the She's 19. It's fun It's not her fault. She's having a good time. She's on a yacht some fucking he wasn't ugly

He was a handsome guy, but he knew what he was doing. I'd love to see a 19 year old Tommy Pope shack up with a It's a lady boat captain. Actually at my oldest gap was I think I was 22 when I knocked around like a 58 year old in Jersey Shore. Wow. Yeah. Big fake tits.

Do you have a boat? Couldn't get into the shore house that I was staying at and I, uh, I dogged her in the, uh, in the outdoor shower in the backyard. I went down on the steps going up to the- That's an unnecessary move. That's totally unnecessary. You don't have to say everything, Tom. You don't have to say everything. No, I'm just talking about like, that's not a foreplay situation. Yeah, that was first.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, because I couldn't get the door. It wasn't after. Yeah. Let me get one more. Good Lord. Let's have some dessert. Let me get one more. Good lord. Lots of Wildwoods known for. There's a few places.

They're little dens of hot old women just looking for young birds. Which makes sense. It's all bucket list shit. For a young guy you have a fantasy of fucking an old lady. an old lady's like I never got offered that a lot yeah you gotta be in the right spots I know but you know like I feel like I have been in the right spots and it was never never thrown my way yeah it's kind of the same way I feel about like I never been offered like hard drugs yeah but I've been around it yeah but no one's hey, do you want some of this? You know what I mean?

Yeah. This is a cop look, I told you. Yeah. Do you think it's working on old ladies, too? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Like, they're bummed about it. Well, I think they look at you like, I wish I met you 30 years ago and I probably would

have had a better relationship with a man and raised a family that I wanted. But then they get past that and their whole life is fucked. And now they're looking back for the piece of shit that's gonna spin them out. But I felt like I was a piece of shit. Make them shake, you know what I mean? They want to squirt for the first time. They don't even know it's possum.

They want a scumbag with a chain wallet. Neck tattoo that's just lips. I guess, yeah. So I wasn't putting out the vibe No, you're putting on a fucking marry me They're trying to get two thumbs in their ass hole. Just a six-year-old woman who wants to fuck. It's like all right, buddy You look the fucking old ladies crazier You know some vagrant with a fucking teardrop

tattoo. It's like, oh, you actually have a true fetish. You're with it. That's so funny. An old lady looking at me like, yeah, but it goes both ways. I imagine, but I don't want to settle down. Like a younger dude, if you're turned on by older women, you don't want the older woman

that looks like a good, decent mom that has raised children correctly. You're looking for that fucking, the one tit is kind of wobbly. Yeah, you know, she got a titch job way too late and it's like a little You know oblong You're gonna make up like she's wearing like lip liner. That's like way off you're much mascara wounded Yeah, yeah a wounded cash apps great for sending people cash, you know, yeah simple. It's easy Everyone can use it easy, everyone can use it. What else do you need to know? Yeah, no. Making money should be easy and that's why there's Cash App. It's fast, safe, and honestly just way more personalized than other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through, no extra stress, all the

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Blue chew will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house that is the mission that's our mission Thank You blue chew. Yeah cut diamonds with the tip of your dick. A wounded fucking woman. Mm-hmm. That will do damage to your bird. Like my dog, she's got no chill. You know what I mean? She'll break her fucking wrist sucking your dick.

Buka? Buka does that? Yeah. She'll do anything for being a butter dude. You have no idea how the limp happened? Well, I think it was, we were letting them go crazy in the backyard, her and my dog. And Buka's like a little dude. I mean, Buka's throwing jabs at my dog.

They know, instead of like playing, Buka's like goto move is like hitting my dog in the face with her paw That had to have I mean she was throwing hooks. Yeah, so I feel like that could yeah hazel was probably like You're not even in my weight class like this is like fucked up Yeah, she was getting fucked up, but I bet hazel was like enough every dog has its day as they say hazel caught it hazel He's a probably Probably got one bite one bite in Well that's the difference cuz hazel is like a chocolate lab she's like six she's thick yeah She's a thick look she's an English lab

Yeah, so she's got like she's built like a fucking her cage Dude, her cage is this thick and Bucca Bucca's cage is like I don't know like a bag of Granny Smith apples Yeah, it's like it's nothing. It's tiny little those thick labs. You can fucking land a plane on Yeah, but it is a door like you want to put like a tray of drinks on there Just walk slow Get around the party She's the age shows because like she was fine the whole time But now that it's now that there's times passing after now. She's like fucked up like a couple days later She's like so that's what that's what so this is what happened. So

This is the first time Him and his girl watched our dog. But once they get done like a two to three day dog date, they come home and they're just like us right now. Like coming back from Miami, the next three days I'm shit. I'm just laying around doing nothing. That's what Buka's doing right now just sleeping 12 14 15 hours a day yeah just not moving you know the injury is stiffening up you know when you pull a

muscle you sleep too much But they walked into the fridge. Drinking the milk without a glass. It's the saddest fucking midnight entrance to a fridge. Just fucking around with that kid all weekend. But then she does get she gets in depression. Because like dog like she gets so excited and their their temperament the first time they met Book is a bitch. Don't take this wrong. Yeah, book. It gets fucking worked in the dog park. She's a pussy Yeah, she got dogged by every fucking dog in this in the first couple times we've taken her every fucking dog in this, in the first couple times we've taken her, and she came at Hazel like barking and nipping at her feet and Hazel's just like a sweet little girl like it didn't do

much and then they start battling but the next time you see them, I've seen pictures and videos that they sent and they're just like they become fucking, they're girls dude, they're fucking, they're boys. And then they get home and they just they're depleted. But there's also like a depression in her eyes that like we feel sad for because it's the only time around with a dog. Yes. No back with humans. And she just looks at us like it's not the same. You know, it's like us going on a guide trip you get home to your girl and you look at her like,

you know, she doesn't know why you're sad. She's like, when you cleared your own, you're like, it's not the same. I was running around a backyard throwing a football with my dog. I had a day at my lady's family's house. I was missing you. Yeah, I bet. Cause like her brother's the fucking man

He built like a pool and like a platform like they have this whole backyard. They're hanging in and dude I was just like wandering around the backyard like kicking stuff over looking for football. Yeah Yeah, I gotta throw football. I can't I can't be this close to water on a 90-degree day. Imagine Imagine do you have an object? Yeah, just literally half our walks in Miami. Yeah. I was like, you think this place has balls? I'm sick, dude. There is nothing worse than walking in one of those beach shops and they don't have a nice football. Yeah, I got a water ball. I got a full, a full NFL leather ball. I got three

skippers and then I got the bigger skipper that sponge and not just the gel gelatinous one. Yeah For the adults for the yeah, the geriatrics when they jump in the pool. Yeah. Yeah Get the softball going The water way pressing down Yeah, the waterway pressing down Now we reset that next whoever is gonna rent this place next if it's not for the the guy that owns it They got a whole a whole igloo full of fucking just a treasure trove. Yeah

Do do for a little beach trip We got to set it up. It's got to be soon because I want to. I want to do it when the rest of the country is also summer. Yeah, we just go to the Gulf. Yeah, just do weekend. Let's go back. Well, well, it's right there. You can just drive down right there. He just got married.

Yeah, take a little trip. That's all we need. It's a celebratory. Yeah, just a weekend. Yeah No, Bucas stays Well, we'll figure out each other's limbs We don't need pets Pukas days or dogs Yeah, she's chasing the football now. I know I saw that hooked on the football.

Yeah. Is my dog the only, the only toy my dog plays with is the football. Dude, she tries to catch it. She tries to horrible thing with her with her arm. She'll go let her hind legs and go, dude, she does. Yeah. She's like a safety. Yeah.

Yeah. Pop the ball in the air like tip drill. Yeah. Her body's built. Her body cavity is like this and then her legs are She got midget legs, so she'll sit down and Josh. I'll toss the ball she goes I Do feel for dogs so bad on the hand situation yeah?

On the hand situation. Yeah. Lack of hands. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. The hand and arm situation is the biggest thing. You've got their mouth. Yeah, so close. The energy is right. They've got all the social stuff down. Yeah. They just can't.

Yeah. Interact with the house. Yeah, they're land fish. Because even like. I mean, obviously, monkey, because we're monkeys, but even like a gecko or like, think of like a, like any type of, you know, salamanders. There's hands. Everybody's got a little bit of a hand. Yeah. And dogs are just fucking.

They got just, it's almost a hook bit of a head. Yes They got just yeah almost it's so close Claw that's like halfway up there. Yeah, yeah the mid claw. Yeah Useless fuck outside of scratch. It's the one thing I don't I can't saw down Because we take her out enough that like naturally dogs in the wild You don't have to clip their fucking nails right because they're just getting down just ground down grounding down and then they have that fucking that dead i know pterodactyl claw that's how far i mean that's how far they are from a hand yeah you know the thumb has just retreated yeah yeah it sucks and it could help it could give me a look if it was just if it was just angled

You know like that yeah like a thumb. Maybe it's to catch your football cuz you're retarded That was sick if she hooked up a notch This is wild I gotta piss 45 I don't even know yet. I wonder if they know that they... I wonder if it makes them sad that they don't have hands. I don't think they think. They say that they have like the... They say they're like brain... They're like intellectually at like a two-year-old's intellectual level,

but it's like there's zero chance. No. There's no way. No, because I think even a two-year-old would be like this sucks Two-year-old be looking at its parents going like What? Yeah, yeah, no, I don't know I It would be brutal the only

Means of transporting goods is through your mouth Yeah, that's inconvenient. No. Yeah, it's it's an absolute disaster and even trying to you know just getting lids off Yeah, yeah Knowing how much food there is in the house and being completely unable to access it It has to I've had this thought, too. I wonder. Because like during when we feed her, right? It's like all she knows is I go into the garage and then I come out with what she eats.

So like, what does she think is happening in there? Do you know what I mean? Well, she's been in the garage, right? She's seen the bag. Yeah, I well, yeah, but I don't know if she associates it. Like, do you know what I mean? Because it's like we have it like kind of up on like a shelf and like whatever. So I just don't understand. Do they think that we're I don't know.

I'm like, do you think I'm hunting? Yeah, I don't know. I bet not. They certainly don't respect you like you hunted. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. They're not like, what a kill. Yeah. My girl girls been on fucking I

Don't know the last four months five months six months like medicated food Yeah, $70 a case. Geez. I'm spending like 400 hours. Yeah a month in her food It's for the chicken allergy, right? Yeah, we talked about this last episode. It's like just she's got a chicken Yeah, pit bulls have like a chicken issue number Nate said this But his dog really a lot of pit bulls. Yeah can't digest chicken for some reason Because when she ate this stick They like just give her a natural rice and chicken boiled chicken. No salt no seasoning and rice And that's that pile of diarrhea she dropped

Was other it was a pyramid Egypt was like hey whatever they do what the fuck is going on yeah food yeah that's what well dude I watch this there's a couple reels I follow like dog trainers yeah now and there's one dude with an accent. I don't know if he's British or whatever, but he's like Fucking British no, but it's weird. It's like it could be Chinese. It might be Australian. It might be whatever He's got a funky accent, but he like curses and he's always like sitting out inside of a van with the door open There's fucking 30 dogs around them all He's like sitting out inside of a van with the door open. There's fucking 30 dogs around them all

Respecting them. So like you respect him while he talks you're right. This guy's got this To have one dogs can't be wrong Yeah, and he's he said something about the the hill hill science diet Yes that that what everyone thought is like prestige type thing. And there's apparently a contract with all these vets where like that's all they push. And the veterinarian that we go to, that's all they have. Yes.

It's hill science. And she's had a problem ever since we've been feeding. So it killed our guy. Yeah, really? Yes, yeah. Yeah, so I believe, I'm starting to believe in this shit where it's like we just have to change and then at like we've been talking about this to other like

Other people in our travels where it's like we met this one woman's like, oh, I just I just make all of the food for our Dogs, it's so much cheaper. You get a big batch of protein regardless of what protein put in some peas carrots You know all the things they can digest naturally, typically outside of like a food allergy. So we just got a blood work done. We're waiting on that. But yeah, I might just do a fucking dude. That's my food. My lady's sister that all what they do is they they like, I think they literally sell a thing at the grocery store that's just called a dog roll. Yeah, I seen this big thing of pork and they just chop it up. Yeah, put it in the bowl in the fridge and then just weigh it out and feed to him every time. Yeah fucking crushing pork

Yeah, there's apparently nothing's allergic to pork Really? Yeah, apparently there. Nobody has a pork allergy Human or dog yeah, or any any I think everything is can eat pork Wow, I got no notes on this I'm waiting for you to go. I'm just kidding. No, I swear to God I think I have swines like the worst thing you can eat is a human though. No only if you're like Jewish It's like the dirtiest it's it yeah, they say it's a filthy animal that's why they don't eat it No, but it's not on the inside Yeah

Do Kyle peel the skin off the inside. Yeah Loaded with parasites Kyle the pig farmers sending us a right. I don't know that's I'm pretty sure that's why they don't it's like a filthy animal It's why like they don't want I think they can get sick and then I could totally be wrong about this But I'm almost positive. That's why people avoid Like swine. I thought there's like fuck it like worms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's parasites in pig that don't exist in other meats. Yeah from a large Factory standpoint,

like the way factory chickens are disgusting. Looks like some people are allergic to pork. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, everybody's got some type of allergy. Dude, I swear to God, you repeat one thing that someone tells you, and it's always wrong. It's my whole personality. Yeah, it's always wrong. You see my whole person. Yeah, it's always wrong

You see look at this. Well, I'm trying to be less like that because it's like, you know people start talking about something and my instant reaction is like Whatever yeah, this is definite bullshit. Yeah, you know, I try but then it ruins conversations if you're always looking at someone like Yeah, that's maturity though. Yeah maturity is hearing someone say something and just go Okay, no, because it's not caring. That's what I do. That's the goal. Yeah, but I gotta go now I'm now I'm trying to be like, oh really nothing's allergic to pork. That's like really that's amazing. It makes sense. Oh, you'll be Oh you want to be positive in an insane way. I want to encourage the guy.

Oh my God. No, no. I can't keep doing this. That's more energy. I can't keep living a cynical life every conversation. That's more energy than fighting them. Trying to promote their message and backing them. So much more effort than going, oh, you think that's real? to promote their message and backing them. So much more effort than you go.

Oh, you think that's real? No, no, that's that's because that's how I've lived my whole life. And so I'm going to go, no one's allergic to pork. And I go, yep. Yeah, dude. And then I just put my hands in my pocket. Yeah. Stare at the floor and move stuff around. Yeah.

And then it's terrible. Yeah, you just wait for them to stop talking. Now, yeah, but I can't do that. Yeah, that's a dad in the basement move, dude. My dad in the basement, tell him anything, he'll go, hmm. Yeah. Yeah. He'll go, oh, that's cool.

All right, well, How's everything else? He's not touching that if my dad's got no follow-up question he goes in his head you're fucking idiot Yeah, I'm not gonna bring that up. Yes. I don't want to care enough to try and get you away from this feeling that you have I don't care dude. I want to be left in peace Why don't you go up and see your mother? I'm a dog on a bone when I get that look. Yeah, when they go, oh man. No, no, no, seriously. I know you don't believe me.

No, I also thought it was bullshit. I was saying, yeah, I've heard the same thing. Your mother told me that. No, I agree. I agree. Oh fuck Brutal oh It's nice pigs, huh? Oh No allergies

Pigs nobody's allergic to pork. Nothing's to work anyway. How how smart do yeah? That's usually how he gets out of anything I say stupid Okay, I Guess it's not so it's crazy now that way if you think of that but like You're trying to land this plane on the back of a Labrador You trying to land this plane on the back of a Labrador, dude? No, because people are allergic to shellfish. Yeah, it's not real. None of it's real.

No, I mean that's real, but it's like it makes sense because they're fucking bugs, you know? Yeah. It's a cockroach in the sea, they say. The lobsters. Yeah, like a shrimp. Yeah. Scramps? Scramps. They're all, yeah, they're just bugs. Yeah.

They're underwater bugs. Yeah. And yeah, it makes sense that, you know. I wonder what insects people are allergic to. Nothing makes me more excited than watching a black lady at a steakhouse eat a seafood tower. It is. It's pretty great.

It's pretty great. It is absolute water park joy. Yeah. It is. It's so great because you got to watch the dude that bought it. Yeah. No, he's counting dollars. Yeah, I know. Just bleeding out. Yeah. And she's getting shrimp caught in her fake nails. Struggling to find the difference between her nail and the shrimp. Oh, they're hot pink.

They're only hot pink because it's because of the shrimp. That's why flamingos are pink. Yeah. Eating fish. Dude. Pink yeah Yeah, what's going on with those nails Black lady nails are just like my girls nails are black lady nails. It's nuts. Yeah, she gets them done every like three weeks She goes to some Asian Some gay Asian dude.

Well, back to the dog. It's got to drive dogs nuts. What? The nail? See someone with hands just disable them. Yeah. And then she like, she flips them too. She does like real Puerto Rican type. When she wants to talk, the fingers go bananas. Yeah.

That's. That's how you know she means it. My lady was she's a licensed nail tech and she'll decide randomly that she's going to do her nails and it stinks the house up for fucking two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Pollution. Crazy. Yeah. And then she'll have her friends come over and then it's like right when it ends, like it'll be like, oh, nice. It's ventilated out that she'll have a friend come over. She'll do them. And then it's just back into the fucking I'm in fucking

Isn't that why all like Vietnamese people die at like 30 It's the name palm it's a chemical in nails Yeah, I mean it is gasoline it's like essentially it's definitely the worst chemicals All right, yeah, well Let's go do a t3 together. We're gonna answer some questions. Yeah Jump on over the page for t3 and drive around the neighborhood Drive around I just farted snakes. I heard it. Yeah, I'm gonna smell it soon 645 we got a we got to go. We got an hour hour and a half before sundown patreon.com stuff island there you go is here