Stuff Island - Mouse Merch w/ Adam the Exterminator - Stuff Island #112

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Go to nutrafol.com/stuffisland and enter code “STUFFISLAND” for $10 off your first month and free shipping! Go to displate.com/stuffisland or use code “STUFFISLAND” at checkout to get 22% off for 1-2 Displates or 33% off for 3+ Displates! Go to drsquatch.com/stuffisland to buy 3 bars and get 3 free! Get 15% off at waterboy.com/stuffisland  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, real quick, before we start this episode, I want to say there's another Look at Dish coming out. It's a holiday special. Lambshank, ragu with risotto. Comes out on Friday. It's by far our best episode. Saw the final cut tonight. Fucking unbelievable. The boys did a great job.

The editing's incredible. You were wonderful. I think it might be the best meal you've ever made. By far. Yeah. Both the best episode, best meal I've ever made. You were incredible 90% of the time. You got blacked out.

You gotta put some edits in there when he gets drunk as shit. Doesn't let the meal finish. He's gotta eat. He's gotta feed the boy. He's pecking the whole fucking time. It's unbelievable. The comedy in this thing, we stopped by a bar. We stopped by a dollar store to get fleece from an Asian woman. It's so much comedy. If you've never been,

go to patreon.com slash stuff violence. Sign up for the look at this tier. We also have a look at this cocktail hour coming out on the 28th, our very first. Check it out. Yeah, dude, it's good. Now listen to this exterminator talk about rats.

No, I'm just hyped about my new hoodie. That should be exterminated. This is perfect. Because this is our first non-comedian guest. Yeah. And we're fucking excited. This is the regular guy edition. This is the regular guy edition.

Yeah. So. Which is so much. All right. So much better. Yeah. So, yeah, when I saw you, I was like, I know this fucking guy from somewhere. But, you know, I don't know.

You look like that actor. Probably just the bar. No, no. I never saw you. I've seen this guy around. What do you want? I swear, I thought he was the guy from Cabaret. You know Alan Cummings?

Yeah, I get that a lot. Dude, you must. I get that a lot. Because you look like him. Yeah. And I was like, but then i was like nah he's too you know straight manly yeah he's gay he's gay right i don't know i think he's bisexual yeah yeah that's like yeah yeah you got to be to make it in hollywood you got to be at least by

i'll suck a dick to get a nice paycheck dude yeah i'm leaving i don't know i'm out of here it's just a casting couch. You start blasting. Actually, the reason why you're here. You're not going to believe this. We're both horny. Haven't jerked off for four days. Take your shirt off.

Pest control. Are bedbugs as bad as people say they are? They're pretty bad. Are they invincible? No. First time Chris has locked away questions. Let's get down to brass tacks. They're easily killable?

Yes. Let's not get to know this guy. Bedbugs. If you know what you're doing, you can take care of it. Yeah, the eggs though. The eggs last forever. Nothing really kills the egg, except certain dusts.

But what we do is we steam treat the bed. So the steam, the heat, kills the eggs. Does it ever work, though? Is it ever in your head, though? Are you ever really cured? Do you ever get an STD? No, no. Never once?

No. You can't say that on... No, I never have. Okay. Well, I have. Okay. Even when you get the cure, I got the steam treatment. I took a pill.

Dude, I swear to God, the one time we had bedbugs and... You weren't here? No, in Philly. I had bedbugs. I bet you didn't. Dude, dude. You weren't there? No, no, I meant in my house. Jesus Christ. My room, it wasn't in my room,

but we called. First of all, everything you read online is like, you can't get rid of them. It's impossible. It's tough. They last forever. A guy came over, I swear to God, with that little pump that Bill Murray has in Ghostbusters. Wandered around the house and was just hitting hitting stuff with it and i was like this is fraud this is there's no way this is no that

actually is real they were gone there was a dude my best friend growing up his uncle i'm like i'm not gonna say his name his uncle would tell stories he was an exterminator and he drove around his truck and he would tell stories to somebody if they pissed him off he go he he had a southern drawl or something like virginia and you go i gave that motherfucker water and for a mere 13 years old like what he's like yeah he got a big problem i didn't like the way he talked to me i gave him motherfucker water so they fill the big canisters up with chemicals and he just, it's only water. And he goes around, just takes their money

and goes, fuck them. Which is amazing. You ever hit anyone with the water treatment? I mean, you know, of course. But it's not because I'm angry at them. It's because it's cost effective. Yeah.

Like a bartender forgetting one ingredient in a drink. You know, sometimes I fuck up. Yeah. You hit it with that like cheap, fast, good thing. It's like, you want it fast? You want it cheap? Yeah. Can't be good.

Right. You get a little water in there. You select it from the left side of the menu. You'll have roaches forever. I had bedbugs here when Shaneane first moved here we had a lot of couch surfers and we got rid of everything it was through everything away everything yeah i mean that's expensive i know you have to do oh here's the point of std thing no no hold on pest control i don't treat that tommy yeah put that bitch in a bag And I put her on the curb

Like an old mattress She's infested It's still psychological Even though you think you took care of the problem Then you still go, did it really? Did that one pill I took Get rid of my Penis mites?

Yeah, yeah, yeah Or do I need to like worry about this for a long time turns out you worry about it for a long time yeah and people coming in the house after that happened after I got rid of shit I was like whoa take your jacket off you know you know what it is because they're like friends of like open

micers and shit yeah dungy dirty dirty yeah the travel people who travel yeah yeah on low budget psychologically people get really fucked up from that yeah like that that's why like i would always like people like me because i could talk to you know like i'm always like calm down so after i deal with them they're like i feel so much better yeah you know yeah so it's really just calming people down and this is this is huge because when the doctors give you the std pills, they got real bad. They don't.

I got bad news. They don't. They're not like, this is how this works. It's going to take care of this. It's like, it's not a problem. They just say, take this and shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah. And you go like, did they just? Well, this is why he's probably got repeat customers if they're that fucking dirty.

Yeah. You know, because you're like, I got a guy I trust. He talked to me like a therapist. He made me feel like everybody gets this sometimes right yeah dick's gonna ooze pus here and there all you gotta do is come back to me i've seen this before the first guy i ever went out with that i worked for he said it's not kill it's not about killing roaches and mice it's about making a friend damn and i was like you know what put him on a fucking t-shirt but it's not with everything

yeah you know so making a friend you see why you're on our couch what a gel he's Foley he's Foley

with a squirt gun of water but it's a little bit about killing roaches and mice it is but they give you more of a chance if they like you let me ask you something

yeah do you have guys in the business that like you know how some people signed up. Yeah. Do you have guys in the business that, like, you know how some people signed up for the Marines to actually kill foreigners at war? Yeah. They get off on fucking murder.

Oh, sure. And they're like, I can get rid of this anger, this hatred I have. Yeah, yeah. Are there dudes that just, like, really hate? I think people are, they're evil people. Yeah. No, but did you get into pest control

because you were like, I can't stand these fucking varmints? No, no. No, it was just... Coc people. Yeah. No, but did you get into pest control because you were like, I can't stand these fucking varmints. No, it was just. Cocaine. Yeah, exactly. Too much cocaine. Well, I used to work, be in bars a lot late night too. So there was always a lot of partying back then.

Yeah, of course. A lot of fun. You're done now. Oh, I'm retired. Yeah. Not from pest control. Yeah. Partying. Yeah. I'm that old cy young winner in the in the store call me in dude i know i'm retired but maybe one more one more tuning i still got it yeah yeah let me see if i do it's that movie the rookie or whatever

now i think uh when i had my uh my heart, that's when my... Partying stopped? Yeah. It had to. It had to. Had a little blockage. That's a blessing. It was. It was.

Yeah. I spent a lot of fucking money. Yeah. On the blow. Oh. Pills, blow. Yeah. Yeah, listen.

It's what we do. Run the gamut. Dude, just having a coked up exterminator. Whipping around your place, doing it in half the time, that's the goal. It's hard enough to stay out of the bars, let alone if you're going in there every day for work. You know what I mean?

Thank God I don't. And you're down there with all the free beer, I call it. A little taste of this, a little taste of that. I mean, everywhere you go. You know, like Maggie's, if I'm done, he's like, you done for the day? I, I mean, everywhere you go, you know, like Maggie's, like if I'm done, he's like,

you done for the day? I'm like, yeah, he goes, you want a drink? I'm like, I gotta go. Yeah. Because I know I'll be there

for three hours. Yeah. Good for you. Get home at 9, 10 o'clock. Well, that's maturity, that's age.

Yes. I can't wait to get there. You'll get there. I got there with age. Just leave and go, I can't. But do you go home, you enjoy cocktails? Once in a while. Yeah. I'm not a big drinker but you just told me to pick

you a bottle of vodka that's a very big drink look at the text I said I don't drink a lot but I do like vodka I just saw vodka going I don't drink vodka I was like this is a great opportunity to have the strongest wine possible I'll get him the nicest vodka no it's nice vodka but it's not that there's no such thing as nice vodka it's dog shit that's why I knew you weren't a drinker oh really yeah vodka's for a vermin

I thought does vodka smell the least what smells the least it smells the least and tastes the least it's not like scotch it's water Does vodka smell the least? What smells the least? It smells the least and tastes the least. Vodka, yeah. It's not very, yeah. It's not like scotch. It's water.

So wouldn't that be a heavy drinker, though? It smells the least. I feel like when people are drinking vodka, they're hiding it. I saw that on Mad Men one time. Oh, no, it still comes out of the, it's still. Oh, you can smell it. If you're not a drinker, you can smell it.

You know what I mean? No, it still emits like an alcohol. Like if you drank a half a bottle of bourbon or a half a bottle of vodka, you still smell it. It still emits like an alcohol. If you drank a half a bottle of bourbon or a half a bottle of vodka, you still smell like you drank bourbon. Or vodka. It doesn't matter. The thing is taste.

It just tastes like straight fire as opposed to flavors. Gin is a floral vodka with other notes of Hindenberries. I'm just naming German towns. Gin is evil. Gin rules. You like gin? Oh yeah.

I came around big on gin. You have a drink with me. In front of me. Yeah, I've gotten into gin. Gin's good. Whiskey, bourbon, tequila, mezcal. Just say bourbon. Tequila. Mezcal. Just say them all.

This is not one thing you always order. I need my Pappy Van Winkle. Fuck that. I had that once. You're 20. You're 20 years old. In Seattle. Expensive, but good. It was $150.

Stupid. You ever hear the story of Pappy Van Winkle? No. Apparently it got knocked off. Stupid. You ever hear the story of Poppy Van Winkle? No. Apparently, it got knocked off. There was an insider from the distillery that had a connection to the mob, told them they got done this one batch. They took all of the batch and then privately, they secured it, and then just jacked the fucking prices. So everybody thought it was something fancy.

It's like, no, they just got stolen. I think it was. I don't even think. Was it the mob? For some reason, I remember watching a documentary. It was just like guys that work there. And then they buried the barrels in like a, just in the dirt. Like in their shitty house.

What? For temperature control? Sounds like the owners did that just to jack their prices. Yeah, yeah. That sounds good. They got robbed. Yeah, yeah. There's not that many barrels left.

We'll find out in the comments when they call me a fucking idiot. So, dude, you told me a story about rats in front of Anthony Bourdain's restaurant. I don't know if you remember this. That was on Park Avenue,

right? Wasn't there like a law firm next to it? You started lining up I don't know if you remember this. That was on Park Avenue, right? Yeah. La Halle? There was some, wasn't there like a law firm next to it? You started lining up giant rats and lining them out in front of a law firm. Am I mixing up stories? No, it was a partner of mine that, it wasn't that restaurant. That restaurant, there was a thing to the, and this place is closed now, so I would never talk about an open restaurant. Yeah, yeah.

But there was like a thing that went under the street. I think it was this restaurant. I don't want to get sued. And this guy who I worked for for years ago, he trained me, he brought like a little, it was like a.22 or maybe a BB gun or something. Yeah. And the rats would just come out in this basement like to this sewer i guess you'd call it and he would just he would just

yeah oh yeah but the story you're telling is i had a friend that i used to work with and he had killed a bunch of rats and then he was like i went to throw them away he goes no no and he said let's put them in front of the owner's door he goes he'll fucking love it and i go dude you're fucking insane sure enough the guy was like oh my god it's fucking you guys are the best you're like showing your work yeah it's about making a friend yeah look what i did you. That's what a cat does to its own. Look what I caught for you. I didn't ask you to kill that baby squirrel. So yes, yeah.

There was a couple stories mixed. But yes, that was an old, my old partner. I'll just say that. The same best friend I was talking about growing up with his uncle that was an exterminator. Give him the water guy. We had a, I went to Drexel University, so did Chris. I stayed with them at Temple. It was barracks, dude.

It was like a... It was a three-story cabin. Right. There was no insulation. The walls were crazy. Painted floors so you could slide the furniture out for keg parties. No rugs. This was at the school?

Yeah. Well, off campus. Okay. I was off campus. I was in North Philly. Proper North Philly. Yeah, like Temple and Drexel. And I had penned to a certain degree.

Everyone lived off campus. Drexel and Temple, everyone lived off campus. There was nobody like lived in dorms. Yeah, this is off campus to the point without getting racial, you had to go to a bodega to get like egg by the egg, cheese by the slice, butter by the stick. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You pick everything up and go go how much for this? that kind of shit, without getting racial you're just code switching so this dude my boy Cooch we had this rat that was so large Cooch? Cooch, yeah Cooch and I, we had this rat that was so large

that we named him because we couldn't get him and he was a motherfucker and he was a rat, It wasn't a mouse. Oh, no, it was a rat. You know the difference. Two different species. Yeah, yeah. Can you explain that? A mouse is a smaller, you know, it's like a dog.

You got little chihuahuas and then you got Great Danes. Yeah, yeah. But the same kind of thing, but it's a lot larger. Same family, different species. Exactly. What's going on with rats in New York City? Chris, can I fucking finish? He was going to tell me that. Jesus Christ.

But I'll tell you a story. My brother was a cop. What he would have to do when he was... Hang on to it. About rats in the city. Go ahead. So we called this dude Charlie, and there was nine baseball players

living in this three-story house that was just a frat house, essentially, but for baseball players. Total shithole i mean we just the open large industrial size trash cans like you had yeah yeah yeah stinks like west philly all the time all the time yeah it's just yeah so charlie knew when everyone was downstairs and charlie would run a run a muck And when he ran, it sounded like a young Chinese girl with heels on, like weight-wise, Jesus Christ. I shouldn't use that example, but weight-wise, you could hear the pitter-patter,

because there was no distance between the floorboards and shit. So it was in between. Yeah, and then we'd just listen to Charlie, and then we had to shut the lights off, and we got smarter about it. So Kooch would be dipping. He'd put the dip down, just playing video games. And then we'd listen for Charlie,

and he'd get ballsy. Charlie'd come down the stairs for a little bit of pizza. Yeah. And he had a rifle, like that dude in full metal jacket before he blows his fucking brains out in the urinal. Yeah. He had a rifle just slowly set right here, and he'd go, he'd look at me and I'd go.

And it was just him and I. And the lights would dim a little bit more. And he would very slowly pull a rifle out. And just wait. Just like your boy. And he'd wait. And the whole time I'm trying not to laugh, not to bounce, not to fuck him up.

And Charlie bucked a corner one time. Cooch hit a flathead pellet. Directly, what I thought was directly in the body. Right. Gone. Nothing. For two more months. This is how Charlie died.

Charlie finally had enough, and he just came down the steps one time like a grumpy old dad. He was like, come down the steps. Splatoon. Splatoon. Dude, all of us were up with shovel. We had a shovel, a broom.

Everybody's got bats. Chasing this giant rat. Dude, he was... I'm not kidding. He was this big. He was... I don't know how big that is to you. Pretty big.

It was a fucking rat that looked like a small dog. It was a toy dog running around until we beat him with a shovel. You beat him to death. We beat him to death. He would eat my protein. This is how I think he got so... I swear to God. We would hide. because we're college,

we're poor, we'd hide all of our things that we thought were important to us. I had a big bag of protein. Dude, it's fucking baseball jocks. I put it above my clothes and Charlie would just get all the way

up there, gnaw into it, protein powder everywhere. And this dude was just getting 10 pounds of lean muscle a month. Maybe he had a little creatine in there. We had creatine in there? Of course. He spent all day eating protein and dodging bullets. Training for war. Rambo.

We got that motherfucker. And nothing ever came back. It was done. He was done, yeah. I mean, we had mice here and there, And nothing ever came back. It was done. He was done, yeah. I mean, we had mice here and there, but nothing like a rat. Big difference, right? You feel a little invaded. Do rats, do they find a home and just chill?

They do sometimes. Yeah, they get in. They get in. What is the difference? Especially now. It's bad now. You wanted to add about the city? Yeah, just like, well, like, is there some weird, like, is there a conspiracy?

Like, is there some type of symbiotic? Is there a Jew rat? Taking over the entire rat community? I'm not going to touch it. No, but it's like, are they doing something good down there? I just think that. Do they keep something clean? It's like, does it ever frustrate you that rat killing technology isn't advancing?

Is it? Are you guys having conferences? What are we doing? We're working hard. Now I'm like... You talking to people? What's the latest? There is a city rat czar now.

Chris is giving the Bob talk from Office Space. What would you say you do? Not going to work here anymore anyway. I guess it's like the start of every zombie movie ever, but there's got to be something you can give one rat, like the worst STD of all time, that has like a six-month delay on it where they just start dying.

If you can make it, I would use it. All right, this podcast is brought to you by Nutrafol. You don't have to choose between better hair growth and your health. Nutrafol provides whole body health approach for men that promotes healthier hair. There's no drugs, no compromises, just better hair. Men think they're going to lose their hair. It's inevitable. Yeah.

It's not. You can take care of it now. I mean, I'm pretty good. I heard after 35, that's like your hair really yeah it's like after 18 your eyes are like you're not balding at like 35 you're pretty much like you just thin up here yeah i think like obviously slowly i guess over the course of your life may like uh wane a little bit but i think i think you just i think you're in the clear after 35. Yeah. I only lose hair from aggressive sex.

Chunks. Just chunks of hair. Chunks of hair bitten out. You should see her. Gotta keep it high and tight. 80% of men, she used to have long hair. 80% of men experience hair thinning in their lifetime.

It's normal, but it doesn't have to be your fate. You can get ahead of the thinning with Nutrafol. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist-recommended hair growth supplement, clinically shown to improve your hair growth, visible thickness, and visible scalp coverage. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements use physician-formulated, natural, science-backed ingredients. Their drug-free patent technology provides consistent, reliable results without compromising your sexual health. That's the most important part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great head of hair, but your bird is useless. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to have drippy cums after you try to fix your hair. Your bird's got a whooping cough, but your hair looks great. You'd think if your hair was getting rejuvenated that you'd be shooting ropes. Yeah. But I guess maybe it's drawing from the same resource.

I don't know. Somebody's been putting these pills in my drinks. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair for a limited time. Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com slash men and enter promo code Stuff Island. Find out why over 4,000 healthcare professionals recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com slash men spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com slash men and enter promo Stuff Island.

That's Nutrafol.com slash men promo code Stuff Island. Displate. This podcast is sponsored by Displate as well. Displate is a one-of-a-kind metal poster designed to capture your unique passions. Displate created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy, magnet-mounted, and durable enough to withstand a lifetime of intense staring. We need more. Yeah.

They only sent us the pig and the cow. I could use a couple more. I want a big metal map. That would be nice for our tour. Yeah. Map of the U.S. And then you could put little magnets where we need to go. Fuck.

Yes. That's what we need. We need a giant... Yeah. We'll tell them. Displayed as both branded and artistic artwork. Okay? I'll take an artistic representation of the United States. They have over 1 million designs available for everyone,

including official designs from brands like Star Wars, Marvel, DC Comics, Warner Brothers, and plenty of games and movies. They sent us a Batman one that was actually kind of sick. Each product is a high-quality design printed on metal and hand-signed by the master of production. Damn. That's a sick job. Displate master of production.

He just sits in a chair drinking whiskey all day. He's like, bring me another one. He doesn't do anything. He just signs off. Yep. That's a poster. It sends it out. Yeah.

It's the worst when a poster gets crinkled. These don't crinkle. That's nice. Use the link in the description. The discount will is. It's the worst when a poster gets crinkled. These don't crinkle. That's nice. Use the link in the description. The discount will be applied automatically at the checkout or use code

Stuff Island at the checkout to get 22% off one to two disc plates or 33% off for three plus disc plates. That's pretty sick. It's pretty sick. Basically getting one

free if you get three. You know? Yeah. You give one to your kid, you know, college. It's pretty sick. Basically getting one free if you get three. You know? Yeah, you give one to your kid, you know, college. It'd be nice to have one in college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High school. Oh, dude, yeah. If you got, like, a college kid.

Just get, like, Britney Spears and some sexy gear right above your bed. Just rack up the display. It's the same mom. Good Christmas present. Yeah. You know what I mean? Is anyone working on it? They are.

They are. But it's just, you know, trapping anyone working on it they are they are but it's just you know trapping baiting trying to keep things clean yeah yeah those those restaurant sheds or whatever the hell they call them in the street you know those where the people sit outside yeah fucking horrible you know the garbage falls onto them oh they live inside then the people who have the plants it's just burrows in a two-foot plant. Oh, my God. They're burrowing like they're in your backyard. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's bad. And you can see the holes. Yeah, that's a burrow. We usually dust that or bake that. Well, outside of those, like, whatever, the canopies they put on the street out front of a restaurant. Right. Any tree that's next to that canopy, you can see holes directly into the ground

where they come up from the cement. Yeah. And the subway system. Yep. There are things now that we could use like, there's these, you know, like steel wool. So it's like a big band, you roll it out and you can cut it to the size of that. Cover the hole? Well, what you do is you dig down.

Ah. It's like what uh planters do and and people that have gardens gardeners right yeah and they put that plastic tack it in then you cover it so they can't burrow down so that's yeah but don't they chew through like concrete and shit not yeah see what about coming up with something that gave them like really bad gingivitis you know what i mean just their teeth rot out of their head and then they can't do anything. I mean, they're working on stuff.

Gay and mad, Chris. What's the news from the front? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the... Do you think there are like rat killers in lab coats around the circle? I just imagine there's some guy somewhere who you're like, why don't they just...

Why can't we get rid of all these rats? Right, or sterilize them or whatever. Just to stop the breeding. Yeah. I imagine someone just going like, you can't get rid of all the rats. They're an important part of just something. Now I'm starting to get your conspiracy theory idea.

It's like, do something feed on the rats? Are the rats eating cockroaches or something? It's like, if you killed them, then this other thing would get thrown way out of whack yes they're give and take not really there's just a lot of they don't offer read like crazy yeah Puerto Ricans they give birth kind of cold into one of those I got 40 puerto ricans behind my drywall no comment senator no like i do i do understand what you're what you're trying to say because i i fall hook line and sinker to those commercials where it's like the ant bites a little bit of the thing and they

bring it back yeah yeah i mean it's like yeah i want to see that to the mass and they're fucking devastated. It's like, oh, I want to see that happen. With the roaches, they would bring it back and then they eat him and then they all die. It's really just finding them and killing them. Yeah. Baiting, trapping. You guys still have issues here at all or nothing? No.

I mean, not until fucking BMM sledgehammered my wall, which apparently I've been getting comments that roaches are going to come up through this hole behind that painting. Where are they going to come up through this hole behind that painting. Where are they going to come up from, though? Yeah. Who's downstairs? Well, downstairs,

they renovated downstairs like five years ago. Is that the famous bathroom I was just in? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Did I send you pics? No, but you told me about it. Yeah, yeah.

The mirror was too high or too low? Too high. Yeah, Chris was on a fucking... Yeah. We had to pull his couch in there for him to brush his teeth. I told you he's the Dalton of podcasts. I thought you'd be bigger. Remember that movie?

He looks huge. He does. Oh, yeah, now. But you're perfect. Very small. Perfect. No, perfect. Well, not for the mirror.

One small change. You're back, baby. I mirror. One small change. You're back, baby. I need to get some lifts. I thought, like, there's dirty jobs. Also, you hear this? What the fuck's going on? What is that? The cops on my walk to meet Declan,

the cops were shutting off certain roads. I don't know if there's, like, a Palestine parade tomorrow, some shit. When's the tree lighting? The tree lighting was this week? Because I know they were if there's a Palestine parade tomorrow or some shit. The tree lighting was this week? That's it, man. They were protesting it, so maybe they're... I don't know. Yeah, they're getting ready for a protest. They're shutting off all these roads.

Protesting the tree lighting? No, they tried to stop the tree lighting, the protesters. Why? Because, you know, they want to back Hamas. Is that really what it is? Yeah, no. These are people. I mean, these are lunatics.

Yeah. They're fucking loons. Yeah. You ever see these, like, Portlanders that sit in the middle of a highway because oil? Did you see the guy down in Central America that these people were sitting there? He was American. He was down there. They wouldn't get out of the road.

Just took out his gun And started shooting them Right Oh the old man Yes Yeah Didn't he kill one He killed two of them Yeah

That's so great That's an exterminator Part of you is like Oh what a fucking loon But the other part is like Yeah Get them out of the way I'm trying to go to work

You gotta prove a point I'm all for people Protesting And their rights but don't fuck with me it's like a judge it's like a judge in the court of law saying i gotta make an example out of you i'm sorry i'm gonna give you way more years than you deserve right now yeah yeah you're gonna get 20 years for something you deserve five right yeah but if i give you five it's gonna keep happening yeah yeah and now people are gonna go i can't do that no more yeah i always feel they

should do that with animal abuse. People are like, oh, it's just a misdemeanor. Imagine if you beat up your dog and then they're like 20 years. You'd be like, what? No one ever hit their fucking dog again. Right? I agree with that. Because someone who's beating up their dog is... Scumbag.

Yeah, and they're not coming back. No. You know what I mean? You don't recover from hitting a dog. No, it's like pedophilia. Yeah. It's just ingrained in you. Yeah, yeah. You're going to do that to a person.

Right. Most, what do they say? Most serial killers start killing animals. Yeah, yeah. They're like cutting off the heads of cats and shit. However, there's certain ingredients that are necessary for serial killers. It's abuse at a very young age, sexual predation. They have to be... this just took a dark turn

yeah yeah have you you said you listened to the show it was my fault what do you think we're talking about cockroaches the whole

fucking time you gotta get into pedophilia it's true pedophilia pedophilia nice restaurant now

well I don't know about that here we have a new it's on the menu just pee your posture whatever you like yeah pedophilia it's an inside joke just for us yeah What's on the menu? Just pee apostrophe.

It's an inside joke. Just for us. It could be the hottest restaurant ever. It could. Just hot kids. Jesus Christ. Hot kid waiters. Send your comments to Tommy.

Don't worry. Your business is fine. It might boom. You might become a famous exterminator. You might be just all dripped out in gold. You know what I mean? It would be nice. What pest bothers

you the most? People. 100%. As far as toughest? Yeah, just annoying or like, yeah. Flies. Flies. Flies are fucking annoying.

Fruit flies in bars. Dude, they can dodge one of those electric. They don't really work, the electric things. It's so hard to get one. But mostly it's just, you just got to clean. You just got to find that piece of fruit that's, or clean the lines. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's why the bar manager. It's a summer thing too. Yeah. Bar managers save a lot of money not cleaning the lines. Yeah. Yeah. But that's where the bar manager... It's a summer thing, too. Yeah. Bar managers save a lot of money not cleaning the lines. You can taste how sour a beer is because they're cheap.

Oh, my God. Not any of those places we met. No, we... No, no, no. We don't go. We go to the good places. We go to the good places for that reason. Irish bars in Manhattan,

all sour beers. Yeah, yeah. Because some cocksucker from... They don't want to spend the money cross the land yeah cheap fucks yeah yeah if you go to any shitty irish bar and you order anything besides a like bud light or mill even that bud light is it tastes like fruit roll-up i'm saying but it's like the line you will like because they're never pouring those oh anything besides that yeah dude you can just taste. Yeah, yeah.

A sour goose island in an Irish pub in Midtown will literally make me load my gun. Not for anyone else. Just to blow my fucking palate out of my skull. Tell me the worst story

you've ever... What's the worst pest? that's what i mean it flies but i mean like yeah cockroaches you got to see an infestation of cockroaches that you can't pretty bad pretty bad yeah yeah i mean you know you flip the lights on and they're just crawling over everything what's your first yeah sorry that no i'm sorry i was gonna go i was gonna go fucking you ever walk into like a hoarder's house and they're like, yeah, I don't know what happened. Yeah, it is. I was in a building.

You got to be like, look at him. I was in a building. There's a Pizza Hut village in the corner. I can show you pictures. I was in a building and they were like, you're going to go in here. It's going to be bad, whatever. And you couldn't even get in the front

and you just look sideways and everything and the roaches were just coming out into the hallway this was a nice building yeah and then i was just like what do you want me to do yeah like so they had to get cleaning people and just throw everything so i was like hanging out in the hallway while they were throwing shit out because the roaches were just going everywhere oh my god it went to the bare bones and I just nuked the place. I hate to use that terminology. I love it. It's not professional.

What are you talking about? But I just went crazy. I went there about four or five times. Do you put on like a space suit and an N95 mask? If you're doing like a fogging, you know, like aerosols, you could do that. Yeah. What do you call it when you, air bomb, right? A bomb?

It's a fogging or a bomb. You could call it a bomb. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to do that because it kind you... Air bomb, right? A bomb? It's a fogging or a bomb. You can call it a bomb. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to do that because it kind of drives them. You know? Like, I'm more of a... Kill them with...

You're a delicate murderer. I'm more like special forces. Yes. You go, like, house by house, fucking find them, kill them, move on to the next. If you just carpet bomb, some of these fuckers are going to get away. Yeah. So you're tipped on with a little candle. You want to go send in the fucking

the Rangers, bro. You just throw them down. Night goggles. Dude, I love watching, those are like YouTube shorts and shit I see all the time. Exterminators of the Nightcog? Well, it's like guys out in the middle of the boonies or whatever. They're in the middle of the mountains, and they've got rats everywhere.

And they'll literally throw on night vision goggles and just snipe them. Like under a porch. Yeah. And they literally flip and go belly up. They do that at farms because you don't want to use chemical. Yeah. Because then other things start eating the dead road. Isn't that the shit they do to warthogs from a up. Yeah. You do that at farms because you don't want to use chemical. Yeah. Right. Because then, you know, other things start eating

the dead room. Isn't that the shit they do to warthogs from a helicopter? Yeah. They're actually pigs down in Texas. Yeah.

It's crazy. Feral pigs. It's bad. Yeah. There's like millions of them. Hundreds of thousands of them. Yeah. Yeah, it's bad.

Damn hungry. But I know a guy that actually is on, he's got a great YouTube. He teaches minks to like go into the holes and get the rats and kill. And he actually trained a fucking lizard. He trained a lizard because it's skinny, you know, and it goes in, brings them out and kills them.

It's wild. It's something the mink man. You got to check him out. See, why aren't they doing that in New York? I'm not giving him a plug, but I enjoy it, you know? I'll check him out. He's good. He's a good dude. Aren't there like rat-killing dogs? Yeah, little like terriers. He trains them too.

Yeah. And they'll go, actually they've brought them to New York before. I've seen a couple. Yeah. They're like going on to dumpsters. Yeah, but that's... You're only... Yeah, you're not getting you know, yeah. There's so many of them. You're not making a dent Yeah

That's That's for that guy After a week The terrier's just like Fuck it dude I quit That's just for that guy To get a trip to New York

He lives in Wisconsin He's like You wanna go help out Something pal Yeah I'm gonna go to New York We're all going to New York We'll see a big show

Yeah Dude the terriers I've seen There's another Another animal Groundhogs i want to say yeah i've seen a dog go like dig holes and rip up these bigger animals they're going after like uh probably yeah like prairie prairie dogs prairie dogs or something like that yeah yeah just tearing them trashing them but then the guy has to you have to train them because

their instinct is to eat the thing you know so like he trains them he'll yell at it and drop them and then talk about what my guy did in front of the office they put them all out so you see like a hundred fucking rats and the guy who owns the farm is like

whoa what do I pay damn so And the guy who owns the farm is like, whoa. Yeah. What do I pay? Damn. You know? So pretty fucking funny. See, that shit rules. Does the cat thing actually work, just having a cat in your place to keep mice away?

Cat has to be a killer. You know, it has to be a killer. I've seen a cat sitting there like this, and the mice are just running back and forth. He's just like, when are you going to feed me? He doesn't give a fuck. What a great answer. I was never expecting that answer. He's a killer. Dude, that's fucking incredible.

If he's a killer, you're going to get, you know, I've actually, I've been in a restaurant, they've had a cat, and it's a killer. Like, you know, he's just dropping them off in front of his owner. And then the health department department comes and they're just like can't have a cat here and the owner's like oh shit all right he brings them home two days later it's fucking mice everywhere because they're just like you know like coast is clear let's go

yeah i mean it's the same way with humans yeah you don't like do you have it in you to save yeah that woman on the train? Or are you just going to go, ooh? Well, get out your phone. I got work tomorrow. Get out your phone. Ooh, let's check this out. Are you a filmer or are you a killer, Chris?

Right. I know, but see, this is part of what I'm talking about. I met your cat. It's like, we got the cats. We got the cats. I don't think it's a killer. They're ready to kill. Oh, my guy upstairs? No.

No, you should see him. He's too nice. You should see him with a toy. He's too nice. You should see him with a toy. He's too chill. You should see him with a toy. He goes nuts. There's one of our mutual friends. Eating birds outside the window.

Eating birds? No, he's just staring at you. Like, he wants to fucking get through the window. Yeah? Yeah, he's pissed. All right, well, I want to see your body count. He could be a killer. Could be.

He was hunting. He was hunting around the stove a couple times. Just waiting. He's probably looking for food. No was hunting around the stove a couple times. Just waiting. He was probably looking for food. No, he was looking for mice, dude. Chunky and lazy. Don't talk shit about my fucking... Chunky and lazy.

I've seen... But that's the thing. You can have these restaurants with cats in them fucking mice up, but you're not allowed to have a cat in them. You're not allowed to do it. This is what I'm talking about. Would you want to go to a restaurant

where there's four fucking cats around your wheelbar? No, I want one that's fucking murdering mice. If they're in the basement, nobody knows that. Yeah. Can you have mice upstairs and not downstairs? Sure. So they go to where it's weak? Or just, you know, where it's just accessible, you know?

Like if there's openings there. A lot of times mice go in and up. You know, like if it's a five-story building, we'll get calls on the fifth floor. Not on one through four. Is that a food or heat situation? I just think they just follow the pipelines and then they're like, ooh, what's that? And it also depends what's out there for them.

If there's nothing to eat, you know, 90% of it is just keeping your place. Yeah. Make their life miserable. That's what happened with this place. Before upstairs got renovated, downstairs was an open basement with an Irish broad from Boston.

Her air mattress was just a thousand rats. She would just float every night. It was mayhem. We found out that we only get the small ones because there was a small hole behind our stove. They're adorable.

The ones that go boop. They do a cute little hop. I don't want to kill that fucking thing. And when you hear a snap... They bring disease though. I hate to do it. But it's disease. The hantavirus. You could die from that. The what?

Oh, it's what the Indians put on their hands for weddings. No, it's from their urine and their poop. You get very sick. So they shit on your food, you eat it? Yeah. You get Henta. Yeah. That's what I had in college.

It wasn't an STD. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't from a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not from a stripper, dude. You got Charlie's Henta? I got Charlie's Henta. This dude.

It's a great Vietnam movie. Fucking mice. Yeah. Share your experience with dr squash i'll tell you my experience i'm on bar number three right now uh since we got these the corners i'm telling you i'm telling you dude the box hold and the corners yes i work right here on my traps after the gym to get knots out in the hot shower real game changer yes game changer uh they should put they should put squash in one of those thermaguns or whatever oh just his head yeah no just massage yourself and clean yourself with the squash it's high performance natural products it's 98 naturalore certified, no harmful ingredients. You have the look, smell, and feel your best.

Sensory experience in the shower. That's probably the best thing for me is changing the flavors. I like to change it up. I got three colognes myself, so I have six different flavors of soap. Okay? This is the perfect holiday gift stocking stuffer. Just treat yourself. Buy three soaps and get three soaps for free.

$28 in savings. That's like getting each bar for $4. All for valid only for new customers. Free shipping. One of Dr. Squash's founding missions is to encourage men to pay attention to the ingredients they use on their body. So there's no aluminums and no shit that's going to make your hair fall out. Yeah, yeah. Here's the flavors. Cool, fresh.

I get dry skin. Do you feel like it moisturizes? Oh, 100%. Yeah, I need that. You have dry skin? Yeah, after I shower I feel like I got dry skin. You got to use

this cocoa butter oil. Yeah, I've been lotioning my face but the rest of my body I let just dry out. Cool, fresh aloe soap, pine tar soap, fresh fall soap, bay rum soap, fresh fall soap,

bay rum soap, wood barrel bourbon soap, birchwood breeze soap, and one-time soap saver. Right now, Dr. Squatch is offering our listeners huge savings. All new customers

will get three bar of soap plus free shipping with any purchase of three bars. Just go to drsquatch.com, stuff I own, to receive this buy three, get three offer. That's D-R-S-Q-A-T-C-H dot com slash stuff I Own to buy three and get three free.

It's their biggest campaign to date. Started with the hook. The soapy shower with this shit. Fuck yeah. Okay? Yeah. Water boy, baby. 4.30.

Electrolytes. With the holidays approaching, our sponsor Waterboy is here to help you prepare for the nasty holiday hangovers. There's nothing worse than feeling like the Grinch while everyone else in the family is rocking around that Christmas tree, Tom. Let me tell you something. You don't want to be that guy. Waterboy is a hydration powder scientifically formulated to cut your hangover time in half. There are other hydration packs on the market, but nothing comes anywhere close to fighting those Sunday scaries like Waterboy.

With zero sugar and over three times the electrolytes of liquid IV, your hangover will stand no chance. Unlike their competitors, Waterboy has added specific ingredients beyond just hydration to help with nausea, anxiety, and fatigue. We all know that hydration alone isn't enough to help after the holiday bender. Uh, can I give my personal endorsement to water boy? Yeah.

Cause this is real. It's fucking great. It has like this, I told you Barton, it's like, it has this like pickling type of sensation. You know, when you drink pickle juice after a run or something, it has some tart. I read the ingredients. There's like pickling type of sensation. You know when you drink pickle juice after a run or something?

It has some tart. I read the ingredients. There's like ginger in one. There's like grapefruit or something. And then they have like all these other natural ingredients that make it give it, it gives it body. I'm not going to talk about the other competitor,

but it feels like it's doing something. Yes, it tastes so good. And the artwork on the bag is nice. You like the artwork? I like the artwork i like the little water boy he's a little drop of water send us a fucking shirt water boy that's gotta have merch with that little boy yeah dude that guy they've got to you got to make a t-shirt he looks like the character right in south park a little bit yeah he kind of looks like the uh the the

whatever that juice is that jumps through, breaks through the wall. Kool-Aid? Yeah. You forgot the Kool-Aid, man? Kool-Aid, man, yeah. What's that red juice that big guy jumps through the wall? Oh, shit, I didn't forget Kool-Aid. Dude, I didn't.

You got hangs, I am. I need some Waterboy, dude. I need some Waterboy to get my life together. Show it up your ass, make it faster. Waterboy's gluten-free, caffeine-free, dairy-free, vegan, and made right here in the US of A. A lot of things get worse as you get older, but your hangovers don't have to. Waterboy isn't a magic cure, but it's pretty damn close to one.

Hundreds of thousands of people already trust Waterboy. We're two of them. As their hangover cure, it's time to stop dealing with the anxiety alone. For a limited time, our listeners get an exclusive 15% off discount with our link at waterboy.com slash stuff island. That's 15% off at waterboy.com forward

slash, don't backslash like a dummy, like a dumpski. Forward slash stuff island. It's time to be a ho-ho hydrate this holiday season. It's time to ho-ho hydrate this holiday season. It's time to ho-ho hydrate this holiday season. You think we're going to edit one of those?

It's time to ho-ho hydrate. Are we done? One more. You're acting a little bit like a grinch. While I'm rocking around the Christmas tree. Do you have mics right now? No. What are you worried about? This is our guy. We got a guy. No, I just more. I got a guy. Well I'm rocking around That's four Do you have mice right now? No Yeah do you need me to go upstairs

And take a look This is our guy We got a guy No I just I got a guy for everything It's the best part about New York I got the cat Why are you living there

We haven't seen I haven't seen Maybe the cat's Tied her hair But then you would Maybe see it here The only thing I see here now Very very tiny baby roaches

I mean like Straight out of the egg. They're dumb as shit. They don't even go into the Roach Motel, which I bought. I bought a Roach Motel. Right. And they're for... Roach Motels are for adult motels, right? Is it in the kitchen or the bathroom? They're in the bathroom

and the kitchen. They're always going to be by the water. Everything needs water to survive. Oh, my God. can you put music behind that be a man everything needs water that fucking guy's crazy that's so funny he's nuts i told him before you came i'm still thinking that needle in that guy's dick yeah it's crazy can i say that yes cool what do you say what i don't know i mean we told him told him on air that it was nuts.

Yeah. Jesus. But listen, if it works, you know. I think that's the place we eventually arrived at. It's kind of hot. Wait, what? Not what I would say. Not to me, but I would say.

Oh, you did say like his girlfriend. Yeah. If she's seeing that and being like, you're going to do that for me? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to that for me? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to give you all. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, the thing's fucking rock hard. It's like, yeah, hell yeah.

What do you say? It's like four hours of fucking pink steel. I mean, four hours of the pink steel, you know? How the f- Yeah. That's a little crazy for me. Where do you even get that? I don't know. I mean- It's got to be like Botox. You's a little crazy for me. Where do you even get that? I don't know.

I mean... It's got to be like Botox. You got to have a dick doctor. Botox is not... Yeah, it's probably bad. It's probably bad. Every doctor... They're starting to...

They pressure... Apparently, I've heard this from friends. You go to your regular dentist, and as they're working on your teeth, they're like, I can also give you Botox. They just stare at your forehead, pressure you, going, you got wrinkles. can also give you Botox They just stare at your forehead Pressure you

Going you got wrinkles I can give you Botox You wanna sign up Yeah And they just sell For the injection Jesus Christ It's a fucking racket

Most of these doctors and dentists Are fucking Criminals They're not like our Our people here Trying to kill vermin Yeah yeah yeah Keep the people safe from

Pest control Shit and piss Giving us a disease That'll take away our children. But now it's just so easy to take a pill. You don't need that shot. Yeah, yeah. But maybe for some people, he did say he had some issues. So maybe the pill doesn't work.

But it's got to be also like, you know, if someone's using heroin or something, they get like track marks. Probably there's track marks on his dick. Yeah, I mean, I remember hearing some porn stars would do that. Before Viagra, they would shoot their dick up.

Yeah. They'd be like, I got to do like five scenes today because I can't work tomorrow. I don't know. Is it worth that much

to you, to stick a needle in your dick? Man, the day after a long porn shift must be the... Go to the gym, right? Yeah.

Walking in negative 10 degree weather in New York and then finally getting home and taking your jacket off. Be like, I'm good for 24 hours. More than that. Taking your ski boots off after a long day skiing. Getting a little beer to your lips. Yeah, I mean... I mean...

You don't like that one either? No, it's got to be a nightmare, dude. At the end of that day, you're a fucking male porn star. You suck. What? Yeah. Oh, I'm on the other side of the coin here. No.

This guy's got empty nuts. He's doing a montage. The biggest issue with this is he wants to beat off more because it was so exciting for a couple hours. He's got all this imagery and he wants to get one more load off. He's got nothing in the tank and he's got no energy.

My cousin was married to a porn star. Really? It's fucking insane. It's insane what a world that they live in. But being a male porn star is not fun. I mean, these guys have to like, they'll shoot different positions scenes yeah and then they gotta you know what i mean it's like

take pictures and then it's like okay now it's time yeah it's usually they just fucking yeah beat off like crazy and yeah money shot and then that's it i mean it's not like what we think being with of course i just want to keep this rolling so that I don't ruin everything. Because if I know it's the whole, you don't want the sausage, you don't want to know how the sausage is being made. Yeah. I want to believe that this guy is having the time of his life, and it's organic.

And dating a porn star is the worst, because you think, like, oh, I'm going to go to threesomes and orgies and this, and she just wants to... Be normal. Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's not what you want.

Oh, dude, that's what I want. I forget what the... I need to fucking look this movie up, but it was one of my favorite documentaries ever. Black Poles, White Holes. No. Great doc. Jerked off about 15 times.

No, but it was... The next day was hell no it was like like the the document it was like it was like one of those like things that was like on streaming on netflix when netflix first started streaming they just had like a whole bunch of shit on there that would just like put whatever they could get right it was like overloaded and And it was like about like these just hot Japanese guys that would like, they just hang out in a bar. And girls, first of all, there's only three in the last 300,000 years. All right. All right. These are hot Japanese women. Hot Japanese guys.

You know when you see a hot Japanese guy, you're like, holy shit. Yeah. That actually worked. I know. Well, they hot Japanese guy, you're like, holy shit. Yeah. That actually worked. I know. Well, they're all, I'm not saying they're hot to me. They're hot for a Japanese. They've set a trap for Japanese women. Right.

A trap in East. A trap in East. But it's these hot Japanese guys just hang out in this bar. Right. And women were coming in and they were paying them like tons of money to just like hang out and drink with them and not fuck wow and you're like what the fuck is going on right like what the fuck is happening and then in the middle of the documentary you find out that all the women in there are prostitutes and they spend their whole day just getting fucked right and all

they want to do is go hang out with a guy and just have a conversation that makes sense and they spend their whole day just getting fucked. Right. And all they want to do is go hang out with a guy and just have a conversation. That makes sense. And they're paying all of their hooker money to these hot guys to just chill with them and not fuck them at all. Right, they don't want to be bothered. Yes.

They don't want some guy to try to fuck them. Yeah. It is a mind bender. Wow. Yeah. This is like the opposite world of extermination. These are just a couple rats trying not to get killed. Dude.

Yeah. I could see, you know, they're raw by the end of the day, and they just want to have a drink. Yeah, and it's just, yeah. And, yeah, the sex is so empty. And I've seen that, too. I've seen guys jerking off, getting ready for the money shot, and I can just yeah and it's yeah the sex is so empty and i've seen that too i've seen guys jerking off getting ready for the money shot and i can just tell by the way they're jerking off that it's just like you can't even come from fucking a woman i can tell by the

way there's no coming from sex yeah yeah but you watch your point going i can tell by the way he's beating off yeah this guy's had a hard day yeah he's not in this conversation right now i can tell by the way he's beating off yeah this guy's had a hard day yeah he's not in this conversation right now i can tell that it's like stop being so cerebral watching me dude this is yeah i can just tell that it's like he needs to touch his dick in a very specific fucking dark weird way because he's like so deep down this rabbit hole. He pulls a Yankee candle out of his ass and he's like, I didn't want to do that either. Yeah. And there's no girl hot enough and there's nothing

they could do to actually make him come. I shouldn't say this, but I'm going to say it. The only time I've ever taken a... I'm not a strip club guy. I don't do that. I've been there a bunch obviously here and there. But I'm not... I don't do that. I've been there a bunch obviously here and there, but I'm not Don't do that

They say it's very difficult to pull a stripper you can't take a stripper home, it's it's against the rules It's very difficult because it's bouncers and the you know, they also don't want to sleep with a patron, right? The only time I ever did was because of the situation you're speaking of where I got to speak to her in Virginia at a conference of my work when I was in corporate America. Yeah. And the place opened in this like small town. This place was open at like three and the conference wasn't until five. So we had like two and a half, three hours before they actually danced. Yeah. So me and my boss at the time just sat around the small table with cigarette ridden rugs and just talked to these women as people.

Right. So there was a connection there. I had to meet her. My boss had to pick her up because he had his car. We had to go to a train station like a half mile away because the bouncer had to take her home somewhere. She had to show that she was not... Oh, they get really pissed.

It's fucking spy game. You gotta switch cars. Take your chip out of your phone. It was basically due to the fact that we humanized her for a moment because as soon as the club starts, you're on. It's action.

Oh, yeah. So I'm just like those Asian women. Well, she's like the Asian women. You're like one of the hot Japanese guys. Yeah, I was a hot Japanese guy for a day. My buddy used to get pulse strippers once in a while. But his thing was like You can't be a mark

You know like in other words They'd come up to him and be like You want a lap dance? He'd be like I don't do that But my buddy will have one And he'll give one Can I get you a drink? Before you know it

He's got her number So it happens You play the gentleman role Exactly And you're just above it I don't want to kill the rats, but I have to protect the people. It's not about killing them, it's about making

them free. Just trying to show him a good time. His dad just died. You mind gargling on my dick? Coming to the stage Passion Ladies and gentlemen Stage number four The beautiful passion

Elektra You're next Elektra What's the last strip joint We've been to Jeez You ever go to strip joints In Tampa

No Oh yeah The best Tampa and Fort Lauderdale All nude you can't drink so there's like a liquor store right next door yeah you tie one on and you go in there and it's you know yeah when we went to the strip club he's like listen i'm gonna give you a little advice i said why he goes wear sweatpants with no underwear. Yeah, of course.

I was like, what? If you can get in with sweatpants, it's a problem. That's crazy. Mons Venus is the greatest strip club. There's no dress code. What's it called? Mons Venus. Mons Venus?

Mons Venus. All nude. Yeah. No booze. No booze. But how are they making their money? Food's good? You've never been to a...

You've got to buy like a... You've got to buy a $30 Coke. What about the mini hot dogs? They have a... Is it relish? They have a charge to walk in. Yeah. But yeah.

Yeah, strip clubs in Florida are crazy. Dude, Philly had... We used to go a couple places in high school. You could bring, it's BYOB. We'd roll a quarter keg in this place called Show and Tell. Oh, yeah. Tap a keg. Just a bunch of 15, 16-year-old kids.

I never went to Show and Tell. I've never been inside a Show and Tell. Well, I mean, you didn't go to Philly until college, so there's no reason you would. No, people were going. People were going. The team had a heavy presence. Where't go to Philly until college, so there's no reason you would. No, people were going. People were going. The team had a heavy presence. Where is that in Philly?

It's on Columbus Boulevard. Down by the docks. It's right before the stadium, on the way to the stadium. Columbus. It's fucking chill. Oh, forget it. Yeah. I can imagine.

The black lights come on, you can count the knife wounds in their sides. Real hotties, you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine. The black lights come on, you can count the knife wounds in their sides. Real hotties, you know what I mean? Yeah. Actually, it's come a long way. It's not that bad. I bet it's nice now.

There was a place over here called the Penny Whistle. There's a place right here that's still open I've never been to and I'm dying to go to. Giuliani ruined it for us. Did he?

Strip clubs. Yeah, he closed all the strip clubs down. Really? Yeah. Oh, I think it's still open. No, they have to be like a hundred feet

from a school or a residence, but back in the day, I mean, it was crazy. This one's in between like six auto body shops, which I imagine is the entire... It's got to be in a commercial kind of setting. Yeah. Fucking Giuliani. We can open one.

You can, but I wouldn't do it here. Let's move to Tampa. Fuck Giuliani, dude. one You can but I wouldn't do it here Let's move to Tampa Fuck Giuliani dude Speaking of large rats Giuliani's the largest fucking rat we have What can you do about him I'm not talking about giving him the water He's out of his fucking mind now

Yeah he's crazy dude He's fucking lost his rocker You talk to any New Yorkers that lived here in the 80s and 90s, they're like, he cleaned up the city. His police department did. He didn't clean up his dentures. That guy's teeth are horrendous. Dude, his face was

melting on air. He's got candy corn teeth, dude. His breath. You can smell his breath through the television. Oh my god. Yeah. He looks like one of the nutcrackers that you just through the television. Oh my God. Yeah. He looks like one of the nutcrackers like that you just... You know what you mean? You pull the back with the hair.

Yeah. This is his season, dude. He's going to make some money. Put the fucking nut in his mouth. Yeah. Put him next to the tree. That's hilarious.

Are you still working full time? Yeah. Yeah. What's your schedule? Monday, Friday? Yeah. Sometimes on hilarious. Are you still working full time? Yeah. Yeah. What's your schedule? Monday, Friday? Yeah, sometimes. On call?

Working Saturday. Yeah. Like, I can move stuff around. Yeah. Being the boss has its advantages. Yeah. Yeah. You got a whole crew of...

Not a few guys. Yeah. Yeah. So you're the head rat and you got a bunch of mice? Yeah, exactly. You want my design team work on your logo? Sure. Why not?

We should do some merch. Some mice merch. For sure. Mouse merch. Mouse merch. We'd be pretty sick. Yeah. Brought to you by Stefan.

Yeah. What's your company name? Riley Pest Solutions. There you go. You're a Riley? I'm a Riley. Your last name's Riley? Yeah.

Irish. Get the fuck out of here. I'm Irish and Italian. I know you are. There you go. That's why I love you. I'm Riley your last name's Riley Irish get the fuck out of here I'm Irish and Italian I know you are there you go that's why I love you I'm in a good half there you go baby

you're Italian the good half these are the best people you know yeah when they're mostly Irish but they look gwee fusion

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Dragon Ball Z thing I was like

okay god it's cool they fused to get more power yeah makes so much sense and now it's funny it scared the fuck out of me

when I was staring at your eyes yeah when they're facing a very difficult villain they fuse oh they fuse. It was like when we were growing up. We had the one to twin powers activate in the form of water.

One guy was only water. In the form of an Irish guy with a big dick. We got a friend in the Irish guy. Somebody give me a big fucking dick. You got a friend in the Irish guy Somebody give me a big fucking dick You got a piss? I can wait We're close You piss a lot brother I piss every hour

You getting old? But you piss after him What? And he's still going strong And I'm drinking You're not even drinking I was drinking Tommy's a lightweight

I wish too Yeah Tommy's a lightweight. I wish, dude. Yeah, that's the one thing. What is it? That'll fuck. Oh, fuck! That's the one thing that fucked me up. Tommy, you drunk again? The exterminator challenged me.

Shut up, bitch. I do that more for the bottle of whiskey. No, I had a couple of drinks with Declan. Oh, nice. Yeah. Downtown. We're getting the, that beer you have in your hand, they're making a Stuff Island. Oh, really?

Stuff Island. I have a little bit on my back. I got a back problem. Do you? Yeah, a little bit. I get spasms. You on your feet a lot? All day.

Yeah, so I'm. In the car, too. I'm sorry. I put a little more emphasis staring at your face. You're on your feet a lot. All day. In the car, too. I'm sorry. I put a little more emphasis staring at your face. You're on your feet a lot. Yeah. I said, you on your feet a lot? I heard what you said. Yeah.

So they're going to have a Stuff Island, huh? Yeah, yeah. Stuff Island beer. Coming January. January 20th. Very exciting stuff. Do you do commercials for that, too? No, let's do ads here. Yeah.

We're just going to promote those head reads, guys. I know. We need help. I think we're good. You don't think they're good? It's a little long, too. Yeah. I'm a regular guy, and I'm giving you some advice.

Yeah. I like this stuff. Break it up a little bit. I like his attitude. You know, maybe do two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Instead of six fucking minutes. Yeah. One day was six minutes.

But you got to sell your shit. Because you guys are amazing. You can skip. You can skip through it, right? That's the debate we have. Not audio. What? Can you do it on Spotify?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I do YouTube. So I'm just like, 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds. You think I'm a porn star beating seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds. You think I'm a porn star beating off? 10 seconds, 10 seconds. This guy looks angry. No, but if you listen to it,

it's actually entertaining. Oh, definitely. That's why it's good. You're going to miss some good content in there. It's an extra six minutes of a podcast, essentially. This is true. It just happens to have a little ad read in there. You used to do it live. We used to do it live

when we didn't have other things going on. Right. So now we have other things going on. Things are coming up. You understand? You're busy.

I know. Yeah. The live ones would go on forever. Right. Yeah. But I guess you can go, you can leave and come back

and not feel bad. If you're not on our Patreon and you're just getting free content once a week, you don't have a say in anything. Really? Yeah. I mean that. No podcast is late. And also, no podcast ad rate is long.

Right. It's not up to you. Right. Enjoy your free content and shut the fuck up. I'm appreciative for every listener. Of course. No, of course. I care about what they think.

But it's like, you can't just go, we're making money off that. That's extra money that we use to do our other stuff. Right. Of course. And that's why we're busy. Somebody's like, don't pre-record too long. That game was three weeks ago. It's like, shut the fuck up.

We got other stuff on the calendar. That was an embarrassing stretch. Because we were talking about the Phillies and how psyched we were for about a month after they were out of the playoffs. That was a rough stretch. That was...

We shouldn't have done that. Yes, yes. You're still talking about the Eagles beating the Chiefs? The Eagles are going to beat the Chiefs. Really? Huh? Oh fuck Yeah Joe Carter's not gonna do

Shit against the Phillies Yeah We will never Bank episodes During a playoff run Ever again That was our bad Thanks for coming

Yeah You were fucking blessed Yeah this was fucking You see how quick that was? That wasn't bad Right? It's easy peasy Nice Do you have anything you want to plug? Riley

Stuff Island Do you have anything you wanted to ask us? How big is your birds? It's big enough That's all that matters I've always said that if I'm fucking bad It's not my dick's fault I've never heard you say that Oh really? You'm fucking bad, it's not my dick's fault.

I've never heard you say that. Oh, really? You're acting like you've been saying it all the time. I say it all the time. He says it all the time. I always say. Yeah. Well, you're not in the room, Doug. He's got himself beaten up, as I always say to myself.

Beaten up in the mirror. If you don't like it, it's not my dick's fault. Yeah. If I'm in the middle of fucking it, it doesn't seem like it's going that well i know it's just i'm not doing the right things or it's chemistry chemistry could be on oh yeah well that's it's true that i that i that i can't recover from i get mad remember i was telling you when you get older things you don't care about things oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you got me for one minute, baby. Enjoy.

Lock your seatbelt in. You came already? What, you got another quarter? All right, hell yeah, man. All right, man. Yeah, thank you for coming. Thanks for having me, guys.