Stuff Island - Nick Murphy + Josh Francis - Stuff Island #243

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Nick Murphy and Josh Francis from Friendly Fire Podcast join Tommy Pope this week Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code STUFFISLAND You will also receive an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit https://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope   #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're fancy now. You're sweating. I am sweating. You're wearing a fucking 30 pound shirt. Yeah, what are you doing? I'm trying to not dress better. You can't dress better around dudes. They make fun of you.

No, no, I think you look great. That's a temperature issue. It's not about like... Well, I mean, it's the same way that you wear. I mean, it's... I'm not outside all the time. Well, people are going to make fun of me now. Because I'm dressed like I'm going to...

This is kind of crazy. You guys are the opposite. It's very contrasting. I mean, I'm also wearing... I'm wearing all black. Yeah. It's like a nice. I'm going to a water park.

He's going on an Irish wake. You're just going on a regular way. I'm going to a funeral. Josh got money now, dude. Josh has big money, dude. Josh has a new pair of sneaks every three weeks. I saw him in a shaving commercial recently. Oh.

Yeah, I got shit. The guy who's never had a beard in his life. It is funny. It is so funny. No, we want you, pal. It's funny. They should have him in a sunscreen commercial. I was getting, dude, I got grilled.

One of the top comments on, like, the sponsored one was... Are you allergic to the sound? Irish guy. Are you not happy with anything in your fucking life? You're gonna fucking... Is your biggest enemy to bowl in the sky? Are they after your lucky charms? You're gonna fucking wanna use...

They did, well, they gave me, yeah, I did like a dollar shave club thing, and then I was feeling good about myself, and then they posted it, and then, like, I went and looked at the comment. Top comment was, why is this lesbian shaving? I was like,

fuck, that's nailed it. For her wife. And he's awesome. Yeah, it's such a funny. Well, you know when they nail it,

you just go, God, listen, you want to dress better. You look great, right? You look a lot better. But take an inch.

I don't like the caveat behind that. Take an inch off the sides. You can't have a fucking bowl cut. It is a, you're going to get lesbian comments. I'm just throwing that. Yeah,

I need to get a haircut. They're not going to be from me. But they will be out there. That feels like it is from you. different way. I'm not going to bring up the fact that you have a horrible haircut. I'm going to wait for somebody else. I can pick it up a little bit.

But you're wearing a fucking helmet, dude. I do need to, well, I need to get, I was just, I was in Iowa, and I wasn't going to get my haircut in Iowa. And everybody thought I was a 10 there. Johnny Depp in Iowa. Cleaning up the hood. I'm an Iowa tag. I fucked all three women.

in Iowa that were fuckable. I've not seen your face before. I went home with three stalks of corn that night. I don't understand what happened. They thought I looked great. They were sprouting. It's all the women fucked themselves. Why get a dildo? You just walk out back, snap off the

and hear of corn. Shove it in that purse. Shuck it in your purse? Yeah, baby. Take it cream corn. Yeah. Leave the cover on, then you take it off and you cook. Feed your family.

Jesus Christ. The secret ingredients, it's a family secret ingredient. My grandma used to make it, her mother before her. It's my fat wife, Megan. It's just a bigger piece of corn. It's in season.

Anyway, so what happened in Iowa, Josh? I don't even remember what were we doing. Oh, yeah, well, I wasn't going to get my haircut there. Why not? I mean, because of what we? just said. You go, when you go, can I get a haircut

and you'll walk out with like a, I don't even know. They give you what works there. Yeah. It's like a great clips or some shit. Yeah,

it's like great. Yeah, or there's one in Walmart that I go to. I think it's called it's sad. It's next to the subway. Yeah.

That's right. You get a sandwich. Yeah. Right across from McDonald's. You can't miss it. They just got. My body, my buddy was

complaining about taking his kid to this like event this weekend. And he said, he was only trying to have a couple beers and he drank a 12 back. And he door dashed three times that day. McDonald's, Taco Bell and Wendy's, dude. Call the cops. Like Doordas should have a secondary app going, check on this guy.

He just glazed over, had a 12 pack, and that's a lot. Yeah. You're getting fucked up, man. Paul beers is fine. It depends on how much time. but that's why the order. Three fast food orders is the fucking problem. That's real beer.

That's really funny. That's insane. I guess that's how I meant to. The cops show up. Yeah, yeah, forget about the mudlikes over there. What's going on with this double Taco Bell Wendy's thing? This car's smashed against a tree in his front yard. They three different bags.

They take out different rappers. Like, what happened to you, man? Check the dates on the delivery. These are all the same day, officer. Yeah, door dashing three times. And all fast food. That's putting shit on top of poo. I like that he picked three different places.

The only time. Your gay-ass statement worked. No, dude, that's a good thing. No, because it is putting shit on top of it. No, it is, though. That's the only time it works. Yeah, yeah. It's almost girl math where he's like, well, I'm not going to have Taco Bell twice.

Let me be healthy and get some Wendy's at the end of the day here. You know, it wasn't grilled chicken sandwich. Yeah, because Taco Bell, all three, you're going to kill yourself. Yeah. You know? You can't mentally, so you've got to mix it up. Yeah.

I don't mind the mix. I just, it's insane. No, I agree. One fast food order should put you in a depression for 10 hours. Yeah.

Feels good at the moment. And you're going to, fuck, I should have done that. And then your email gets a notification for your, like, receipt.

And you're like, fuck. Delete right away, you know. But three of those, come on, man. It'd be nice if he was getting the same delivery guy. for each thing.

He just wears a different costume. He's like, what is wrong with you? I mean, yeah, he's a pirate once. He's wearing a wig as a lady. Yeah. Oh, it's from my husband. I do like the idea. He's Mrs. Dalfiring and not embarrass himself.

Oh, so they don't think it's him. Yeah. At first I thought it was a fat, dumbass, but now it's a hot lady. It was a run by Gordash. Yeah, she had sour cream on her lips. I don't know why, but it's windy, so there's no way it could have been heard. How much time would you allot in between these fucking meals?

Because they're like grenades. Yeah. They're fat grenades. They sit there until you dump out. And it's like, you're full, dude. Relode! 30 minutes! God be with you!

That's the fast food mag empty. You got a fucking just out of your ass. Instead of bolts, it's a doorbell. 30 minutes. Ding-d-d-d-dong, ding-d-d-d-d-d-d-do. You guys shitting on, Mama!

How can I make you? Yeah, yeah, they got out. They're holding him. Tell me I'm going to be okay. Sign in the rosary. At some point, you got a shit in the yard, dude. You got to shit like a dog? Yeah, he's shit in the yard while the next order's pulling up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. You guys are trying up. No, no, no, no, no, that's here. You're at the right. dropping at the door. She's putting fucking dirt over his dump. Just leave it to step. Don't look at me.

Get back in the car. Leave it on the step. I'm going through a tough time. That's the special instruction that he's the don't make eye contact. Don't look at the guy. Don't see him. Don't look at him.

Don't mention my wife, Peter. Yes, it's ketchup. Yes, it's hot sauce. Yes, it's mustard. You knew what you brought last time. That's here now. that boy just answered the door your dick,

talk to me like, would you fuck me? Holy Christmas. But yeah, Josh, that's great, man. You got fucking sponsorships?

Yeah. Your sketches are fucking killing, bro. Thank you. Yeah, it's fun. They're fun. It finds,

it's, yeah, it's nice for it to have, uh, because I've been posting for so long that it's nice for them to finally, like, catch on.

Sometimes you go like, holy shit, what am I doing? Well, Matt was telling me you just, Matt Ross, shout to the, great. My doppelganger, my sexual

doppelganger, Matt Ross told me you had to flip the format because you were doing YouTube for a while. I was doing YouTube and he was like, buddy, throw him on the gram. Yeah. Is he taking credit for Instagram? What do you say? Yeah, now we're

no, no, no, no. I'm going to say I'm not to call this one. No, no, no. Listen, let's talk about this on Friendly Fire. This week. It's been for Friendly Fire. Yeah, dude, but.

No, no, no. He was just saying like it's just a format for both. You have to. You attack all markets. He was not taking credit. No, totally. Yeah, it's all inside baseball bullshit, but it is, it's working now. So that's good.

I did want to care. I went when I was in Iowa, this also happened. I wanted fast food stuff. I went to Panda Express and they now have the AI. Jesus Christ, dude. I got, I got a dollar shave club money now. I'm going to Panxswig. I think you got recognized at the Panda Express in Des Moines.

Thurka, are you the way? Wendy's logo. No, but I went to, dude, they have the automatic, they have like AI for the, uh, the drive-thru thing now.

Like you pull up to the box. Yeah. Yeah. God, they're so behind, man. Atlanta's had that for a decade. That's like fresh technology.

In Sierra, in Cedar Rapids. They also have these colored TVs. It's nuts. Yeah. But the, the Panda Express like fake worker has a Hispanic accent.

Oh, that's great. I was like, that's nuts. Yeah. For so many reasons. Well, I used to try to do a bit about it here because the Chinese food truck I go to downtown, it's all Hispanic guys. Yeah. Yeah. They're not the ones making the, you know, it's not Chinese guys.

Yeah. I mean, dude, if I own a fucking truck, it's all going to be fucking as much. Yeah. They're the hardest working people. Yeah. Italian, Italian truck with Tommy. Yeah. It's all Mexican guys.

100%. Yeah. No, for, for, for, for, for, for. I'm like, no, no, they're the best. Honestly, it became a speed thing because I like some of the other trucks. These guys, it's like four minutes. Bro, there's no length.

They look at each other in the eyes and they know exactly what needs to be done. Dude, they're never in a bad mood. They're never like, it's a rough night. These guys are there until 4 o'clock in the morning in the same truck. They're ready to go. If I had a truck here to do like the East Coast

comfort foods, you know, cheese steaks and all that stuff, I'd bring in a couple fucking, you know, I don't know. A couple great workers. It's important he said fucking first. You know what I mean? Well, I was going to pick a location.

Oh, okay. But, you know, South Americans, and you show them the process and how to do it. It's so funny. This is the most American thing to do. He's flailing, right? He's trying to get the migrants in here. I think he's just trying to think of a South American country

and he couldn't get there. He's like, where the fuck is Peru? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honduras. If I had to select. I forget Anthony Bourdain's favorite The ceiling fan. Favorite group of guys.

Okay, sorry, that's a suicide joke. Okay, sorry. We can cut that out later. They're just the fucking, the hardest working. Dude, you show them the process. That fucking, that system is going to bang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to have to show up every two weeks going,

hey, what's going on? They clean up, they fucking date. Their prep is insane. Their speed is lights out. Yeah. Would you want, like, Italian managing it, though? I'd show up here and there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd show them how to make the basics. Yeah. I'd check in. Oh, dude, like a landlord. Tom me doing a look at dish with three Mexing guys that don't speak English. Yeah, that would be so good. Great idea.

Well, you would get so, I mean, I don't know. Maybe you'd be, like, amazed, but also frustrated that they can't communicate with you. Nah, I'd be amazed. Yeah. Yeah. But also. Just I would just show them. Yeah.

And they're, it's easy. Maybe they're telling you stuff. they would talk shit on me, so we'd have to find a translator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's not until the edit, I find out they were just busting my tits the whole fucking time. Oh, it's him watching the Love Island reunion,

you know, where you see all the behind the scenes. They said what? They said, that about what I made. Nicole Ice. Yeah, but I would deal with it, man, because I trust them. Yeah, yeah. In this fake story.

Yeah. I trust my future workers in the truck I'll never own. You know what I mean? I trust them too. Yeah. That'd be a good TV show. Yeah. You opening a restaurant with just like managing it.

Yeah. Huh. Trying to think of a fun name for that. Say it. Nothing's common to me. Wow. What's the one where the guy undercover boss or something? What's the one where they fix restaurants?

It's like bar rescue. Bar rescue? Yeah, but it's, uh... But just Tommy bringing the Mexican dudes? Yeah. I know what's your problem. Your overhead is pain. They're gonna fix your menu, then they're gonna fix the roof.

No. They can do both. You're talking about Kitchen Nightmares by Gordon Ramsey. Whatever, dude. You say it's a question. What do you mean? Whatever. What the hell was that? I don't know. I'm telling you the answer. I'm like four deep. I'm sorry. You were a pool part today. Yeah, you were supposed to be there, man. I thought you were coming up. I wasn't. I wasn't invited. We were gonna throw the pill.

We're gonna throw the pill and show off in front of all these comics that don't know how to throw a football. Shocked those bedbugs. This was about Josh and him blown up. Oh yeah, Josh. We got so off track. Yeah, congrats, dude. Yeah. You know?

I was right now when you said, so I can cut the word. I'll say, I'd say what we were talking about before the pod, my favorite sketch that he's got, because I fucking hate these guys, was the man on the street one. Yeah.

Where Matt Ross is doing a man on the street thing. And he's doing that, like, what's your craziest thing you did this weekend? And the online guys are trying to get chicks to say something slutty. But this one, Josh does the... Well, and then it's him... Smash cuts to... He like murders a guy in his own garage.

It's a very in-depth. He's like a crime... I've seen it's great. Head honcho. Yeah. And then it cuts back. And he's like, I don't know. I had three margarita.

Like, it's not... I'm butchering it. It's great. And it's very... Because I hate the man on the street guys. Yeah. Because they suck and I believe they have no talent. So I appreciate that someone, they're just trying to get sluts to say slutty stuff and go viral,

which is why I brought up the hawk to a chick. The guy that interviewed her, I mean, he has no clever response to her moment. I think he says, like, can you give us a demonstration? Like trying to get, you suck my dick right now? He had nothing funny to say that. That's all they want. That is pretty funny. Of course.

It's a bit meta funny. It's not like clever, you know? It's funny to us because he's like, holy shoot, you know, he's all my dude right now because that's what they want. Yes. All those men on street guys want to fuck the ladies that they have on the thing.

Every man on the street is trying to get fucked. Yes. Like a shirtless black dude with an albino snake around his neck on 6th Street. What do you think his intention is? He's trying to get his fucking snake's sock. To start a terrarium of white women. There is a bachelor party who's visiting

Bachelorette. He's cracking one of them. He sees him doing that eight lady bicycle thing and he starts petting his snake. Like, yeah, let's get those. Let's get these. He's going to harpoon the fattest one in the back. The one bringing down the tires. The one. It's leading. It's leading like this.

Yeah, we had to bring Beth, didn't we? They're all sweating. Beth, will you take seats with Chelsea? We just, we're going the wrong way. keep going in circle she's so fat it's like a boat that he'll least

throw it on one side there's four Waymo's all blocking she's whispering we used to be the same size yeah it's like putting a 300 pounder in a duck boat but yeah dude

the guy that interviewed the hawk to a chick he's not he didn't say anything funny back he didn't have a clever thing we suck my dude but they didn't even need that

she went viral on our own but it's like that's all those guys They just are trying to get a slut to be a slut. He was mad that he didn't make money from it, too. Did you see that? I'm sure he was. He was like, oh, I saw a video of him. What do you deserve, pal?

What did you contribute to the video? I saw a video of him being like, it's unbelievable. This video has 400 million views. Because of who? The slut being a slut. It's like, I made $230. It's like, yeah, it's not about it. What are you?

Her manager? You know? You're going to take 10%. Well, they have no talent. It's like, they have no talent. They don't. And they have no ideas. They just wade outside.

They're like, they're like crocodiles. in the fucking Nile waiting for the Wildebeest to cross. That's the sluts coming out of the nightclub. What? No, we're talking about the street interviewers. Stop it.

You don't have to slide. Yeah, we're already cutting this. God damn it, Tommy. I was going to give a nature lesson. It's actually the Mara River, I think. I think it's the Mara River. The Nile, I think, probably also happens. The problem is that it works for everything.

Am I wrong? Those Mara River in Tanzania. That's where it is. Yeah. Every year, million wildebeests have to cross. Yeah, I've seen. It's gorgeous. Okay. It's wonderful. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. These man on the street guys, they're sitting in the water just waiting. You're hot about it. And if they get one, they eat for a year. That's what it is. Crocodile's metabolism. They can last that long, you know? Cold blood.

I love how they just break down bones. Something about that gets. They digest bones, yeah. They'll digest a shoe. Yeah. They'll eat whatever. Yeah. Would you ever drink blood?

Like, you know, like in some, cultures, they'll, like, kill, like, a chicken. Some cultures. Do you want me to say it again? Yeah, man. You know what's going to be fun? It's because we cut out the first one. Him just saying, you want me to say it again?

They'll know. They'll know 100%. They'll know what he's talking about. Oh, the elites. But, you know, like, there's like, don't, I'm trying to cut him off. Don't they use blood to cook with in certain countries? Yeah.

I mean, there's also blood sausage in men. That needs to be another look at dish. It's Tommy with a tribe. Yeah. They use pig's blood to... Have you ever had it? Yes. Blood sausage?

Yeah. Yeah, it's wonderful. Huh. I will say... It's big in an Irish cuisine, too. Speaking of Gordon Ramsey, that was one of my favorite internet series. I forget what he called it. He would go to a different part of the world and eat the delicacy of that particular place.

So, Iceland, he fucking... But he would have to kill it the way they kill it. You use a net to get a puffin. Ah. And then you would, yes. And then they cut the heart out on camera. Yeah. And you just,

you pop it in your mouth like a Mentos. It's crazy. Jesus Christ. Yeah, man. Then he did tarantulas, I think, in either like Singapore or the Philippines or something. That's a delicacy? He did a. Okay, man.

We're just going to cut the whole episode. Oh, I'm on one today, Tommy. Tell me when to resume talking. And then we can get back into it. Did you should see some of the notes that I have, a note folder that just, says cut when Tommy said. Nick, this episode of Stuff Island is brought to you by Cash App. Yeah, I got it, Tommy.

Cashab does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. Cashab just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with a cash app card, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage. If you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden. fees. You also unlock higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back

offers every Friday at places you love to shop. That would have been great for when you you know, 10 years ago, starting comedy. You know, you need to send a couple bucks. Are you worried about getting an overdraft fee? No? My bank did that shit. That's right, Tommy. Yeah. Turn every day spending

into status with Cash App Green. Download cash app today or visit cash.com. app to learn more. about this and other financial benefits. New Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code Cash App 10 in their profile at sign-up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.

Terms do apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Pre-paid debit cars issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Cash-A Visa debit Flex cars issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC and the Bank Court Bank pursuant to a license from Visa USA Incorporated.

See terms and conditions to the Sutton prepaid cards, Sutton Debit Flex card, and Bank Court debit Flex card. Cash App Green features savings, direct deposit, roundups, overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash App A Block Incorporated brand.

Visit cache. dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. You got a great voice for this. Guys, this episode is also brought to you by Blue Chew, right? People don't like when I riff. What do you mean? I'm just kidding. We're going to riff.

Yeah. I'll ask you this question right now. Okay. What do women want and need? Two Blue Chews? Pulling all-nighter, huh, boys? How you done? When the vibe is right, but a good consensual dick appointment never hurt.

Be your rock with Blue Chew. They're sponsoring the podcast and sponsoring your bedroom performance. And with the new arousal boosting formula, you're getting turned on mentally and hard physically. Who doesn't want both of us? I want it to look at you directly. You have to turn them on mentally. Yeah, yeah.

That's the bigger thing. Yeah. Guys just want to pound it out. 100%. You have to get them. You got to preheat the other. Yeah. You got to get bricked in the brain.

Correct. As well as bricked in the body. And that'll make them go nuts. Yeah. You got to get them going first. Yeah. You know, Nick, I saw a blue true rapper on the street the other day. Whoa.

It's a walk of fame. Okay. Knock, knock, knock. Who's there, Tom. Knock, knock, knock. That's the sound of the fucking headboard. Of someone fucking your door? You can't even get to the bed.

That's how good blue chew is. You don't wait. You wreck her fucking knees on a rug. Consensually. Blue chew gold is better sex in a tablet. They combine four ingredients into one powerful solution. Two ingredients get you hard physically. The other two support arousal and desire in the brain.

It works fast and lasts. Guys, have a complete experience in the bedroom with Blue Chew Gold. There's a reason Blue Chew is the number one brand for better sex. Experience it yourself. at bluechew.com, and we got a special deal for our horny listeners right now when you buy two months of bluechew gold. You get the third free with promo code Stuff Island. That's promo code Stuff Island. You will also receive an additional 10% off and free overnight shipping on your first order. That's great. Visit bluchew.com for more details and important safety

information. We thank Bluechu for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. And there's just timestamps and words. Tommy. Why? It can be interesting. It doesn't have to be a slurred heavy thing. I'm trying to keep the energy going, babe. I think the energy is pretty good.

I think this is an interesting part of the podcast. They do hogs in Georgia, where I'm from. Yeah. They shoot them from fucking helicopters. Well, here's the funniest part. He can't, they don't actually, they kind of cheat and they don't, they're not able to rifle a hog. That's how they're trying to do it, but they can't.

Well, they got to end the episode at some point. They trap it in a cage. And then the guy hands him a pistol. And then you just hear it off camera. They add like a hog squealing and then that's it. Brother. And then they're having sausage. We did a look at dish at a pig farm.

If you've never seen it, it's called The Ranch. And that like our viewers that aren't new have already heard the story. But like it fucked me up. Because the guy, he's our boy. He's a great guy. What's his name? Kyle. Kyle.

He basically says there's one, I forget the term, but there's one term of like this litter of pigs that's eaten all the food, bullying, you know, and he has to kill one of the pack. And he knew exactly which one. And it had like this mohawk, like a clear apparent identifier. Because all the other ones looked the same. But he had like a fucking 90s boy band. Was this the most troublemaker of the bunch?

He was the motherfucker, the outlier. Yes. He's riling up the rest of the pack. That's why you got to take him out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he was a problem. And he's eating too much of the food.

Yes. Right? And he just lines up the pigs, throws a bunch of feet out in a line, so they all, like, come up at the same time. And, dude, he, like, slow walks, so they're focused on the food, but also, like, not scared off by his presence.

And his slow walking. Duck. duck, duck, dead. Dude, and he pulls a fucking 45. Oh my God. Dude, this gun.

You're on site for this? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no, you can see my face. It's like, it's in the, it's in the film. I don't show the actual murder. Yeah.

But. The murder? Yeah. Ryan Donahue. Ryan Donahue came with me. I don't know. Yeah. He's the man. On the, on the, on the tail end of our stuff island tour

a couple years ago. when Chris had to come home. Tommy, we're getting off track here, pal. Yeah, yeah, all right. Who popped the page? No, dude, dude, hold on. There's shit that's bothering me. Okay.

You could cut that too. Yep. So he slowly washed up. Josh, you're going to be typing the whole episode. It's all the real. No, I'm going to fucking reel it in. Okay, I got it. 12 to minute 38.

It's just going to cut the house laughing and laughing. Yeah, how do you guys not put out one of those episodes? Yeah. I mean, we have. Every comment. What the hell he's saying? We can't tell you. Anyway, takes this fucking dirty Harry thing out of his back fucking pants.

And just, and I'm watching, I'm like, I don't want to see this. I don't want to put it. I can't look away. You have to watch, yeah. Animals, man. This is why we'll be able to handle shit like that if shit really pops off. Yeah. That's why I watch shit like that.

Yeah. You got to know what the world's like, man. You can't shelter yourself in this stuff. That's why I had- Shit happens. Yeah. Yeah. I truly think.

I think I would have an easier time watching a human get fucking stabbed. Sure. Innocent pig feeding on corn. Oh, I see what you're saying. And taking a fucking 45 to the back of the head. And it's like square on. The sound alone is blood-curling. Oh, what's the movie where he has to kill a pig?

Fuck. I got to Google it. Anyway, keep going. It'll come to me. And then the guy flips over and kicks for like 30 minutes. And he pulls a knife out and you got to bleed him out. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.

He didn't kill it with the... 30 minutes. No, it's dead. It's dead, but its nervous system is kicking. Yeah. And then they slice the fucking neck to bleed it. And then it finally calms down. No, no, it can kick for that long.

Who timed that? No, he told me this. I know that. I always watched it for like 10 minutes. But the dude was still kicking. And this is the most fucked up part. His friends. His brothers.

Uh-huh. Gulp up the fucking blood. Oh, wow. So this dude bleeds out, finally stops kicking. Yeah. And all those boys, like,

Oh, just munching like you in Iowa. At the fucking Panxpress in Iowa. Yeah. That's all pigs. That's what it was. Yeah, the trough.

Those four women at the Panda Express in Iowa. Just eating this fucking, this blood-soaked cornmeal. Yeah, they don't care. No, of course they don't care. Yeah, and it makes it easier.

Yeah, they don't care, but they're smart. They're smart enough. And also, he showed me, in this episode, he showed me like the new piglets coming out, and they just fight like puppies, they're so fucking cute. What if the siblings hated him too? And they're like, thank God. Yeah, that's probably what they eat him. And then they're like, yeah, let's eat him. Yeah, let's eat this motherfucker. Yeah. It's, yeah, Lord of the flies. The pig of the flies. Lord of the

pigs. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I'm pretty sure that's correct. Is that what it's about? No, there's a scene where he has to slaughter a pig with a girl's family. Yeah. That's what it is. It's tough. Wait, what scene is that? Dude, it's Jason something. What's his last name? Why am I blanking on this?

He's so famous. No, Segal. Jason Segal. Segal. Yes. Segal. Yes, Stephen's son? Just does nothing but romantic.

No expert. Whoa, fucking alpha male like that. Usually has a gay son. You know what? I bet they are spelled the same though. And it's like it just depends how you, how good an actor you are to mean is how you pronounce your last name.

Dude, once I found out fucking Peggy from. Peggy Bundy was Stephen Seagull's sister like it blew my skull Oh wait, are you serious? Yeah from married with kids? Yes, married with children

Mary with children? Yeah. We're just fucking everything Married with Segal Married with the kids Yeah, yeah yeah Al Bundy, dude, legend. They're siblings. No way.

Isn't that crazy? To Stephen Seagull. Peggy Bundy from marrying with children She's in sons of anarchy too, I think. Yeah, she's great. Hot old lady. Dude, I used to beat off to her because she was more like leopard pants

and also the fucking The blind was nice But as a kid I liked the moms You know? 100% Watching that as a kid Yeah, yeah

I got a hopped up on her fucking tits And tight leotards So A little piglet But yeah So she So Jason Segal I forget even what's seen it is

But yeah he has to Murder a pig He has to murder a hog Like with a knife And he's like freaking out He's like having a meltdown He's like crying While he's stabbing it

over and over and over but it's with these like Samoan guys I thought this is like a rom-com yeah is it is it is it freaking as your motion I can't I don't know I've seen that movie a million he's the he's the stabber I know he's the stabber I know he's the stabber that's like a

yeah I feel like that's like a friendly like lady yeah it's like a cute they go to Hawaii on my god no no no it's a quick cutaway no no it's a quick cutaway I remember what's your name is in it Milakunus Milakuna but maybe it's like her family out on the whatever when they meets her finally

because they're in Hawaii I'm pretty sure because he has a follower to Hawaii with Russell Bran when they're smashing the whole trip. I'm pretty sure he meets like a Samoan or Hawaiian family that slaughters pigs. It sounds like Chris breaking down a movie.

Dude, they're trying to get his... It's like Ciskel and retar. I'm telling you. No, they're trying to get his mind off of Sarah. So he has to kill a pig. And it's traumatic. Yeah.

It's a problem. Yeah, it's traumatic. You go stab an animal to death. You go stab an animal to death. You got to be a fucking psychopath. But if you need it, right? Yeah. So he farms for his family.

So the whole educational aspect of the episode was kind of beautiful where he's like, I do this for my living and I feed my children's wonderful, beautiful family. I met them all. And it's like there's a purpose there. They give them a great life until they need the food. And then he's also like a secondary butcher. So if you catch an elk or a bear or something and you bring it to him and he'll, he'll break it down.

Have you had bear meat? Not yet. Kyle wants to send it's Kyle Peralt. I don't want to fuck it. You're supposed to be careful with that though. Yeah, you got to cook it forever. Yeah, because they have all the parasites.

Oh. Bears have really bad diets. Yeah. Because they eat everything. Yeah. Wendy's Taco Bell and fucking McDonald's. Every day. You got a DoorDash.

Can I get some grizzly bear? I get some bear tacos. No, of course. I'm actually. I'm not going to approve of that. I'm not going to take it in. I just don't want to risk it. Bear meat, I think, yeah,

is very... It's really bad for you. You should not be... I don't know. I'm sure it's great. I mean, you can cook anything to the point where it's like... Unbelievable.

Good, but like, there's a reason that's not a common thing. This guy said it on Rogan. He said it, it's parasites. You don't... You're not supposed to eat bear. Yeah. What's the most exotic animal you've ate?

Shark. Alligator? I've never done anything like truly exotic. Yeah, I never eat puffing I had monkey in Indonesia When I was in the Marines Wow

They like slaughtered one and it was like a whole thing We all got sick from it And like they like literally like quarantined the shit You got sick from one thing You're like let me get some bear Let me roll the dice again I thought I was like gonna die Who approves

A bunch of Marines eating a monkey in Indonesia? What kind of monkey was it? I don't know It was like a I don't know I was Now that I was about it? I'll take one of those.

You know what's funny? As I'm saying it, it might just been a goat. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. Josh. That's that's too. Give me, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know. I want to make sure I'm not going to make sense. I've been telling people it's a monkey until I set it out.

Hold on. Actually, it was potato. It might have been an orange chicken for Panda Express. You had a hippo? He's like, dude, it might have been an ostrich. I don't know. I don't know. It's, because I feel like a-

Singapore. You never know. I'm going to Google. monkey? No, there were feathers flying all over the place. You don't know

what a monkey looks like. Oh my God. He Googles it. Oh, I was an armadillo. That's what it was. I can't believe it. Okay,

no. It might not have been monkey. I've been telling everybody I hate monkey though. This is good that we're getting this out. Yeah. So you can fix the story. I've been realizing,

I've been realizing I... But you got to tell us what it was. I mean, how do you not remember this? You hate it. Let me text somebody. Well, because I remember that was when we were going to place.

and trying tons of shit all the time. You know what's crazy about this? If there's ever a food I eat where I piss out my ass for like 12 hours straight, I never forget that you. You remember what it was. You got a carousine. I'm gonna get a monkey again.

Bro. That's why you should remember it. It was a one-time thing. It's like sleep with a woman and then like toothpaste starts falling out of your penis. You go, I remember that girl's face. Yeah. And you tell yourself,

don't do that again. Yeah, you wake up with an eyebook eating out of your dick. Yeah. I had sex with an ostrich last night. Armadilla. It exploded. Shell just broke it. I really want to say it was monkey.

I'm like, stay with it, you can't stay with it, you can't tell us. I know, you're now, you're Googling stuff. I texted,

no, I texted a couple of the guys in my unit. Would you text zoo Atlanta? There's you text. I think the guys you were with, I was like, did I eat? I'm so stupid.

I'm so stupid. I texted somebody, did I eat a monkey in Indonesia? What in closure did you let the Marines into? What did you guys let us in? That guy and I were right now sitting there with his family. He got that text being like, No, no, honey.

He's teaching a seven-year-old of throat. I'm right, my buddy. Honey, I got to take this. My buddy said, my buddy said, yes, brother. Hold up. I got a picture of it still. Wow.

Oh, so I was right. Of the dish? Of the dish, yeah. Let's go. I've had monkey. Yeah. It fucked everybody up on the ship. Yeah.

It was really bad. Okay. What kind of monkey was my original question? There's like 300 times of monkey. See if he and fire it up. Yeah. Yeah, I'll call him. It's Ace Ventura.

Turn it up. I got it. Yeah, it's as lot as I think I can get it. Guys at dinner with his family. Didn't think he's going to get a follow up, Paul. Yo. John, hey, quick question. I'm on a podcast.

I'm trying to remember, you remember when we all got quarantied on ship from Indonesia? It's me, Josh, 12th Battalion. What did we eat to cause that? Was it monkey? Well, what kind of monkey? Yes, there's monkey in Indonesia. I have a picture of it. Can you send me the photo?

Ask what type of monkey? What type of monkey? Do you remember what type of monkey? I don't know. It was like a little pet monkey and there was a pet? You guys ate a pet? Language barrier going on. We were trying to tell me if I want to play with the monkey.

Oh yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to call you back because I remember the story now that you said that. They told us to take it for a walk and we ate it. I remember. No, dude, I remember the story. back here. The monkey was going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I remember the story now. This is the story. I remember it clearly. We had the one with the Mohawk. This fucking monkey. We don't understand anything. We were playing with the monkey, and then they were like, they had this pet monkey, and we were like, oh, that's a cool monkey.

And then they were like, you want the monkey. And we were like, yeah, let's get, like, let's have the monkey. And then they killed the monkey. It was a Christmas story where they chopped the ducks that off. It's all funny games. And then like later we're eating like we're eating and they're like, where's that monkey at? And then you look down at the meat. You said you want to talk us.

What do you mean? Where's the monkey? Did you pay them? No. I mean, it was the Indonesian army that we were like, we were like training with. And by the way, when you see those other armies, you go like, oh, we would like, yeah, they do jumping. Yeah, they do jumping jacks backwards. We were in time.

Dude, the Iraqis doing Jumper Jax is funny than fat women falling. It's insane. It is America's funny song videos to me. They try one pull up, they get halfway. They run in circles. Let's just blow ourselves up. Can we not? That's how they got to it.

That's how they got to it. They went, we can't figure this shit out. So just fucking run at him with a bomb. Let's everybody be a grenade. Oh man If you can't complete the pull up Like all right You get in this line

Yeah There's two lines You can get your vest from the desk Yeah They can't have colors One's red And everyone's like What do you know

With the red You're the bombs We only need you guys Once Don't worry about the pull-up thing Man just go take a vest Sleep with your wife One more time

Because tomorrow's a big day You're about to have 72 more wives You know what I'm saying Brother Your is gonna be in a roof Did they When we worked with the Marine

I texted him I'm waiting He's looking for the pig But um When we were in He's got through like four phones He's got an Iraq phone He's going through war crimes right now

He's got an Afghanistan He's ditching his flip phone right now I thought I threw this thing away Throws it on the highway He's driving He's right now powering up the phone That he shouldn't power up Dude

It blows up It's all because you want to know What monkey you He's got the monkey photos. He's got the Abu Ghraib photos right here, torturing the prison. He's like, sorry, I got to flip through a lot of shit, man. He's doing the blue gloves. It's you guys in Hunter Biden taking a plane of monkey.

Dude, here's the photo. Tommy, take a look. What do you think? Eyeballing it. First look. What kind of monkey is that? Oh, my God. No, it's a monkey.

All right. Cut that. Cut that. I'm leaving that one. You guys were rolling. They were a spit roast at this monkey. Can you tell what kind of monkey it is?

No. Oh yeah, the thing's already been skinned alive. Yeah. There's no way to know. You guys with your little uniforms in the back. You can read the name on that one. Yeah.

Read the name. Dude the name. Dude, this is so close to the meme of the white guys next to the gravestone where they just... And they're like that. Unbelievable. Yeah, that looks like a monkey, dude.

When we were over there. A macaque. Indonesia's biodiversity hotspots for Prime Man's housing. You're looking at up Indonesian monkeys? Roughly 12% of all known mammal species. The country is home to widespread and iconic species like the ubiquitous, ubiquitous long-tailed macaque. And the critically endangered, dude, your boys grubbing, endemic,

crested black macaque so it's a macaque it's a macaque it looks like you would you like my black macaque yeah Tommy this doesn't look like Josh

oh no put it up to the camera dude Josh is gonna get destroyed online that's no good that's no good wait show me again Tommy where they got to get his hair cut Iowa

gotta go to great clips he'll zoom it in he'll zoom it in he looks like oh no This is the thumbnail for the episode. Is Tommy holding up the monkey's face. You got to tag Josh on its face.

Oh, that's tough. It looks like a... It's like our love child. It's me and you. You guys are going to Italian monkeys? I get 10% of all the leaves. Not a single banana leaves this place until I get a bite. Let me count them first.

Did you book? this tree? Did I book this tree? What are we talking about? One for you, two, for me. One for you two for me. No, no, no. We love those folks. Anyway.

Oh, boy. What a segment. So you've had, so you've eaten monkey. Yeah. Yeah, that talks to me. I've had shark, but I feel like a lot of people have had shark. I've never had shark. They did the, they did the monkey in like a stew.

Whoa. It was awful. Like a gumbo. It was like super spicy. Yeah. And it tastes like shit. The monkey itself, or do they add stuff? I think the dish that they served was super spicy.

So maybe you just need to have it without the excess. Maybe it was just like white guys having seasoning from Indonesia. It had nothing to do with the monkey. Salt and pepper? Yeah. It's like Indonesian salt and pepper. It's on fire. Everybody's just from Maryland.

So they have to shut the whole thing down. They were like, we got to stop. Yeah. Yeah. That was, shark is interesting. Yeah, I had some shark. Where, what do you eat shark with? I want to say it was Florida somewhere.

I think a restaurant was serving it. Like, it's not a, it wasn't soup. I think they served it as a thing. It was a little chewy, if I recall correctly. Yeah. It wasn't my favorite. I prefer chicken still. It's not preferred.

Yeah. But you got to try. You got to, yeah, yeah. That's like most of, I believe, like the hunting was reduced because they were killing just for the meat. the fins. Because the meat itself is not good.

What do you do with the fin? They make a soup. Oh, oh, the surf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently has like a certain texture that, like, is more consumable

than the actual flesh itself. It's also, I mean, sharks is probably not as sustainable as chickens, you know, if that was the next thing everybody wanted to eat, you know?

You mean? Like farmability? Yeah, farmability. Yeah. They're endangered. Yeah. Sharks are endangered? Certain species.

Some of them, yeah. Yeah. Ah. Is bothering you to do it? Am I getting into morality? Is it getting weird now? No. No.

The whole thing is morality. Yeah. It's the whole conversation is like... Yeah. How it's difficult to murder a fucking... Did you guys not grow up? You guys didn't grow up hunting at all? I actually...

I actually did. Yeah? Well, my dad was huge on it. I just never was... I never... I would always bring my Game Boy. I would always get yelled at. Yeah, hilarious.

But I was there. He's trying to relaxes. He's trying to relaxes. It literally was. It's just blasting through the fucking forest. You're about to take a shot. It literally was. No, it was literally Pokemon.

Yeah. He's like, we're hunting. I'm like, so am I. I'm trying to catch this Nitterrand in the safari zone. So funny. Yeah. So funny to be like, we're hunting.

So am I. So am I, dude. So my dad. He's got orange on top the bottom. Dratini? He can only. get in the safari zone. Yeah.

We used to, I grew up hunting like, like a lot. It's like big. My dad goes out. My dad goes black, uh,

black powder hunting with the, he's got a black powder rifle. He's got a, like the fucking civil war shit. I, uh, no, but like,

yes. It's like they, there's like a, I don't, it's a higher caliber. Yeah. What's up? It's not a musket.

He's not pumping. I actually black power than a pellet and fucking, he might actually pack. like that. I don't know. I've never went with him. I've never seen it. But now that I'm thinking about it,

it would make, I don't know. I don't talk to my dad. I'm also realizing how much I don't know in this moment. I was like, did I eat monkey? Once you,

why did my dad? Call your friend over time. Yeah, call my friend to make, because my dad, he's like, he's like, oh, that pussy? But I don't know if there's a difference, but I know that he goes black,

black powder. Yeah, black powder. And then he goes bow hunting. And then he also does like spring. shotgun. And it's like, we have, venison is unbelievable. My dad used to be a big venison.

Dude, Kyle cooked this venison, a venison rib rack. Yeah. It was exceptional. It's so good. Yeah. I was blown away because I, I've only had venison,

like, a few times, and I forgot. Because, like, in your younger years, it's just, like, all ignorance going, like, I immediately hate this, and you want to hate it, and you taste it. And it just doesn't, like,

it doesn't, it doesn't hit. But this time, I was like, oh, I'm just going to treat just like a regular rib roast or a pork roast, not think about deer. It's all about the mentality. Yeah. Yeah. The flavor was just another macaque.

Dude. Going down. It was so tender, so flavorful. Venison's outstanding. It's so good. Kyle knows what he's doing, man. I think that there's- Check out the ranch.

Support the ranch. The ranch episode of Look a Dish. Yeah. And also Kyle's ranch, I mean. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I asked my dad because I was like, because we had, when I was there, we had like,

He gets like deer sausage made. He gets like these big, you know, it's like summer sausage, but with deer. And, um, and like deer sticks. And I was like, and he gave me some to cake back. And then I asked if I could just go buy something from like a butcher shop. And apparently you can't, there's like no, it's illegal to trade venison. Yeah. Because it's like, that would promote unethical hunting and stuff.

So then like they were like, do you have to shoot it or in Austin for that ragu episode that we just cut. Yeah. That's coming out soon. Um, a standard ragu is chunks of pork. chunks of veal, chunks of beef. And in Austin, they only provide ground veal because the cost and the, I think it has a lot to do with what you were saying,

like just etiquette, the walls around that, they don't transfer like just raw veal chops. You have to go to like a specific butcher that gets it from a farm that's localized and it's hard to get sometimes. So if you just go to a regular, like, like Central Market, which has a great variety of beef and pork and chicken, they won't have veal chops.

You have to go to a specific butcher because of the cost and all that bullshit. So it kind of like, it changed the recipe from a traditional ragu to more of a bolognese. Because the difference between bolognese and ragu is texture. They use minced meat as opposed to chunk meat. And then I know this is probably boring to you guys, but it's important for the listeners. It's important for the listeners. Thought they were just going to get a freebie when they came out. Yeah.

Now they know the difference. I think I'm providing too much, to be honest with you. Yeah. We should go fucking stab a pig. You got to, you got to, yeah, you got to kill your own shit, dude. My cousin, uh, was he in St. Louis still? I guess. He's in a hunting club, whatever.

Yeah. Some guy was baiting the, and they had to, like, I think they kicked him. I think they kicked him out of the. Yeah, that's a big thing. Big no-no. Oh, for this. deer. They were... Oh, no. Yeah, you can't do that. You gotta go get them.

Yeah. You can't earn it. You can't be baiting. Yeah. I mean, you're already cheating with a fucking bullet from a hundred yards. Correct. Correct. Bating is crazy. Yeah, I forget what they were putting. They do salt licks and then they'll fucking smoke them from a salt lick, which is like really illegal. Yeah, dude. You can't do that. You see that guy that was a... Do you even feel good doing that? You salt...

Yeah. You salt licking... Yeah. Whoa. I was so close. What the hell is that? one more of these, it would have come out. It would have come out. What the hell was that?

It would have never do that. It would have come out. Even though he didn't say it. Now, keep it that piece of shit. I would fucking never do this. You guys decide what I was going to say. You live with that.

Well, it takes away the whole... Like, subscribe. Hit the garbage. To choose your own adventure slur. You can plug in whatever one you wanted. But yeah, dude, you can't be bathing. If you think Nick's going to say the end word, turn to page 50.

On next episode. Fight the day. drag. Do you even feel good doing that? That's my thing. Dude, if you're baiting it. I don't know. Do you feel good about that? You're right. You're already using not a spear. We get guns now. Do your best and go get a...

Go sit in a tree. Bo hunting is... Bo's the hardest. That's the hardest. But you'll sit in a tree for six hours and earn your shit. Yeah. If you're baiting them, what are you doing? Well, that's also... They also have these... They have, uh, in like South Dakota, I had friends growing up in Iowa who would take trips to South Dakota and they have like private land that they'll like, they'll like stock

with pheasants and then you go bird hunting and quails and you go hunting and they do that for like zebra and it's fucking insane. Exotic animals. It's literally like, yeah, it's it's paying a prostitute and then going like I got laid last night. It's like no you didn't. You fucking you paid. You grew your own

prostitute. Yeah, you grew your own prostitute. Yeah, you it's a from home prostitute. Painted or white and black. That's a front. That's not a farm raised. Yeah, that's a farm raised. That's pussy to table. That's farm the table.

Prostitute out there. Farm to table, prostitiveness. Yeah, dude. That's not fair. Yeah, dude. You're like a fucking

millionaire bitch. To eliminate all of the human element. Exactly, man. No, that shit. You paid to go onto a reservation. They pay to go hunt.

Yeah. That's crazy, man. They kill elephants. Like the fucking anger I have. That's unbelievable. Shooting an elephant, dude, you have. have to be a fucking psychopath.

Right. Just for a trophy. Yeah. You pile of shit. You can cut that. No, we should leave that in. 4830. I can't say that.

About millionaires? They're innocent children. I think you could say it again with like a softer consequence. Okay. Yeah, let's try it. Run it back one more time.

Yeah. I hope they trip and fall or something. Not like what you said. I hope your children. Fail all their classes. I hope your children. Don't grant. Yeah, I hope they have lisp.

See, there you go, Tommy. That's better than what you said before. Lazy eyes. Trust me when I say that. Pigeantose. Yeah. Underbites, bad breath. Right.

And get bullied incessantly until... Describing an elephant right now. She has to kill herself. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't want the children to die. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I think all of that stuff.

We'll just cut all that. Yeah, we'll just start right back up right now. Let's start the bottom. We'll start right now. And we're back. It's going to be a fuck it. I'm going to be editing for seven hours. No, it doesn't matter.

Josh, you're famous now. Yeah, Josh, you got money. You got time with your head. Yeah, what am I? This is a PR disaster for you. Yeah, but if money, you could go kill an elephant if you want to do. Like, don't talk about my kids like that, don't we? I'm sure you get a whole new editing sneaker that you just bought to.

Oh, that's funny. Like a shoe deal for a guy that edits. Yeah, he's kind of fucking. Yeah, a whole laptop. With a neck beard. Yeah. Choose one. Yeah.

I think that whole I think all that shit sucks I think I think trophy hunting is fucking super unethical and it's disgusting

I think it's just like it's a bunch of pussy's doing it yeah who's being impressed by that yeah that's what I want to know

who's having sex with these guys you know yeah if you're it's these guys well if you're willing to like kill an elephant

that's just like that's like that's like the closest you can do to be like hunting a human I don't that's like

you know what I mean they're like they need that rush of like I took out an endangered thing. To me, an elephant is too easy. It's so big. It's out of the open.

I agree. I agree with that. Go kill a mountain lion with like a pistol or something. It's something easier. Yeah. Or a bow. I mean, a bow should be like if you really want to be in the cut and feel that Neanderthal,

whatever that you're missing in your life. Also, no, no, no. It's got to be out in the open. I mean, you know, whatever. The government should designate where it's cool and where it's not cool.

But yeah, if you're growing your own. prey. What are you doing, what's that guy that Rogan goes out with a bunch that he's a hunter?

I know the guy you're talking about I can't think of his name right now. Neil deGrasse Tyson. No. He hunts fat white ladies. He hunts stars.

He hunts the girls that run the fucking bikes on the Irish elephant. Just shot the big dipper the other thing. Peggy Dipper. Peggy is such a fat name. It's the fatest name, dude.

Peggy and Marsha. I haven't been about that. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. But yeah, like, there's, I get, I get the, I get the necessity. I get the reasoning. I get the hunting aspect. I don't care for it.

I don't do it, but I would love to watch. So this guy, Kyle, was like, let's, we can go bear hunting. And I was like, let's do it. Like, I want to feel that. I want to see that. Yeah, but you get to bring a mini gun. Yeah. You know?

No, I'm not going to shoot. No, but that's what I'm saying. Like, even the guy who's killing it. I just want to, I want to creep to the woods. I think if you're shooting, if you're hunting bear, you should bring a big fucking gun. Yeah, but not like. I think bear is a different story. No, it's a black bear.

It's not a fucking Cody. I think, I think, but I said minigone to establish, we're not doing machine gun here. You got to, you got to be precise. I thought you meant mini gun like a, uh, no, I'm talking about like the fucking. No, I was. I'm saying you don't get to. Yeah, you don't get to bring something that can, you got to be precise or you die. That has to be part of it, right?

You have to... Maybe that gives you more of a rush that if I fuck this up, this thing's gonna try to kill me. The hunters are gonna be loud as hell in the shit. Fucking bring it, dude. Come kill me. No, no, no.

Cut that, Josh, please cut that. I just... No, it's not about our lack of respect. We're respecting it. They're just gonna be like our lack of knowledge because this is all like... We're all just going to... Is this not common sense stuff?

If you grow your own zebra, that's cheating. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's, I completely agree. I think trophy hunting's garbage, and I think that, but I disagree, I think if you're hunting bear, you should be able to bring a fucking big gun. No, no, no, I'm saying no machine gun. No machine gun, yeah.

You're saying it should be one, you're like, you'd be precise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're still gonna write for. Of course you got to bring a good, yeah, a rifle. Yeah, what are you talking about? I said minigone is a joke because it's fires 90 fucking rounds a second. Oh, that would be cheating. If you brought a turret.

You can't even, you can't even fucking hunt with like an AR-15. Yeah, I'm making a joke. Tommy. You can hunt with AK-47s in Iowa. You can buy AKs at Mills Fleet Farm. Yeah. My dad bought two. We have two AKs in my house right now.

My dad, this is a true story. My dad won like $1,200 on a scratch-off. And instead of like paying for my college or like paying off our garage or like any of the car payments that he has, he went and bought two AK-47s. Good for him, man. I know because we've talked about this, I think, when it happened. Because $1,200 to like a guy in Iowa might as well be a million.

A million. Yeah. He goes, I'm getting a fucking AK. I'm getting a hot tub. I'm getting a hooker and I'm getting a fucking AK. Damn, we could have got a car. I can take you to school with this too.

I can use this as to. There's no walking in there. I'm going to drop you off. The rest of his money. I'll be back at three. I'll pick you up at four. I'll be back. This was a real thing too.

This is just like how different I grew up, I think being in the Midwest. We had a trap shooting team in my high school. And a kid got in trouble because he just brought a shotgun to school because he had trap shooting practice afterwards. Did they clear him? No, I think he got in some type of trouble.

I don't think anything crazy happened. But that's just like where people were like, yeah, the guy's like, yeah, I got fucking trap shooting. Yeah, I got fucking practice. You got to arrest me for bringing a basketball to school? Yeah, I'm on the team. Yeah. Then nobody even like turned an eye.

trap shooting is what? It's like pull and you Oh yeah yeah The clay pigeons Yeah yeah I did that with Kristen His uh Again I think that requires more skill

Than shooting an elephant Oh 100% Out in the open Dude it's hard Yeah It's hard Yeah it's a moving Fucking smaller target

You know We did it at A range in Connecticut It's like President Trump's range It's a very nice range And I couldn't So they give you like A very basic

tutorial and it's always shotgun down until it's your turn. Yeah, practice on this machine real quick. You have quarters? You have quarters? Everybody's separate like 10, 15 yards and the three of us are like staggered.

And the whole time I have that like imp of the perverse where like I can just pull this up and shoot both of these motherfuckers. I couldn't get it out of my head. Just the weird feeling of going at any moment. I could take this gun It's loaded

Holding a gun Loaded When you're not used to shooting a gun Yeah Yeah Is a wild feeling Are you thinking about the other guys Yeah

Yeah yeah No I'm just like Of course I thought it Yeah Just going I could You know Isn't that what happened

A Chris Kyle What Well that guy was just like a fully Bipolar Schizophrenic guy He brought him to the range And that guy Yeah

I got like Super bad PTSD And killed Chris Kyle Yeah Yeah Well that is what happened Yeah And I've seen so many videos of somebody just going to shoot guns.

Cool. The guy shoots him. Dude, it's fucked up. I've seen so many suicides at fucking gun ranges, like videos. That's crazy. What do you mean? Like, they like, someone will just go to a gun range. And the instructor's going in between three booths.

Making sure, like, you know, make sure you keep it down. And then he goes to like the next booth. And the kid's like, a, bah. Oh, I've just fucking blows his. of those. Awesome to you. And the instructor's like, all right,

aisle three's open. You guys want to, we got to. Yeah, clean up in booths one. Hurry up. Money's time. Time is money.

The other shir start licking up his blood. Oh, they're eating them. They're all eating them. They're all eating them. Look at that. He's famous now, man.

That's good. He's famous. He's getting there. Yeah. All right. Nicky, you got something to plug there. Was that the whole episode?

Yeah. All right. We're doing another one. We're going on the page. The whole thing is going to be like four minutes. Do we have our voicemails? We might have some voicemails. Let's do some voicemails.

We can check. To the Stuff Island voicemail? Yeah. If you go to Patreon.com slash Stuff Island, there is a phone number there that you can call and leave a voicemail to Chris and Tommy and they will respond. I do think that we should keep the number locked behind the Patreon though. That's a Patreon exclusive. Yeah, yeah.

So it's Patreon exclusive. Yeah. Otherwise, we'll just keep a barred. Yeah. It'll be too many. fag it and hang up and you go all right well now we have to it's gonna be hunters dude trying to take us out trying to tell us what it's like to kill an elephant with your bare hands

all right plugs yeah plugs this won't load July 24th I'm at the July 24th I'm at the the riot in San Antonio Texas at 7 p.m. please come and get tickets to that you can get tickets to that on my Instagram bio

and it's Josh Francis comedy all right and if you think Josh sucks. Also on July 24th, you can go to Cleveland, Ohio, and see me at hilarities. January, I'm sorry, January, July 23rd, I'll be at Zanis,

Nashville, in the lab. It's a great club. And then right after that, I'll be in Cleveland. Let's go, dude. So see, either myself or Josh, depending on what part of the country that you're in. Friendly Fire podcast as well. All right. My mini tour is coming out soon.

I don't know. I got a bunch of the dates. I just don't, I can't find them right now. But I'll be in Philadelphia for Shane. It's selling out the link. They plug my friend. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, because it's the greatest fucking night of all time, dude. Yeah, that is. That's great.

It's going to be the greatest night of all time. Yeah, it's pretty sick. If you know what's happening that night, if you know what I know, it's going to be the greatest night of all time. And I'm very proud of my boy. You should be.

Yeah. It's a big deal. Yeah. He's the elephant that can't be hunted. Probably cut that too. See you next time.