Stuff Island - Nick Murphy - Ricky Bacon - Stuff Island #219

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Nick Murphy joins the boys this week Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up som...e delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code STUFFISLAND at https://www.Ridge.com/STUFFISLAND]#Ridgepod #ad Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code STUFFISLAND. That’s promo code STUFFISLAND. Visit https://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information #comedy SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [STUFFISLAND] at https://www.Mandopodcast.com/[STUFFISLAND]! #mandopod Click the link http://kalshi.com/r/stuff or download the Kalshi App and use code STUFF to sign up and trade today! #ads Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's crazy. It looks like Chris is dying, and we have to do one more episode. Yeah, I know. This is how Norm shot his last special. Yeah, dude. These are known us last words. You should look like I'm in like a halfway house. Yeah, just trying to get back on my feet, dude.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Chris is on life support. Like, Chris, the sponsors need one more rocket money ad, brother. We need to just read one more. Tommy's got to get his tires rotated. Yeah. He hits the Raymore and Flanagan his legs go above his face. To get blood flow to his fucking head. Dude, yeah, sweatpants and a hockey jersey is totally fucking deathbed material.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Oh, my God. Yeah, dying by your own fart. That's how you want to die. That's a gas chamber, dude. You wear a fucking hockey jersey and sweatpants. You're dying by the gas of your asshole. You're in the Philly uniform right now. That is a filial uni.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Yeah, baby. Stuff you can just put on like a little clip and, washing like an industrial washing machine. Stuff you can piss and shit yourself in. Hockey, jersey and sweatpants. Versatility. Yeah, yeah. This is the depression state after the Eagles lose.
Starting point is 00:01:14 You throw on any other team. You throw on the flyers. It doesn't matter what it is. You're like, I'm over those fuckers. Okay, so don't bring it up. Got it Chris. You can't. You can't.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Yeah, yeah. You can't. I filmed that Soder episode right before we were playing the Niners. And Dan warned me before we started, he was like, we can't talk football. This won't come out for a couple weeks. And I was like, we have to talk football. Yeah. I mean, regardless of whether you keep it or not, we're talking football.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Well, you guys can always talk to me. I'm a Falcons fan, so we can kind of handle whatever bullshit you guys are going through. We're not getting out of the mud for years, man. It's going to be a problem. It's like stopping at a gas station. No one gives your shit. Yeah, it's a gas station to like a remote town. You can tell that guy anything, man.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Who gives you shit? I got three bodies in the trunk. He's like, that'll be $7. Yeah, that's great. I don't care, man. There's no passion there. Yeah, yeah. It is such a,
Starting point is 00:02:09 such a next level failure to draft a quarterback who's not ready, like fifth overall. Just ruin, ruin the guy you got coming in. Yeah. It's toss him. We're on the cusp of fire.
Starting point is 00:02:23 We're on the cusp of doing that. What do you mean? They'll probably draft. They'll probably draft a quarterback like, uncomfortably high. Who? Just the Eagles. Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Put the heat on Jayland. Just get ready. Just get ready for it. Dude. Just get ready for it. Don't start, I'm just brazen. Look, we all know you had a great weekend, Chris.
Starting point is 00:02:42 We all know you had a great weekend. This is when it's going to start to get personal. Absolutely. Open it for Shane at the fucking garden. Just the idea that the Eagles might draft a quarterback. This is crazy. And Tommy's getting extremely personal right now. Well, this is insane.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I was about to ask you, how was it? Now I don't fucking care. It was great. Because you're saying the wrong things. What do you mean? I'm just, I'm saying the right things, dude. I'm trying to, you know, this is the Irish way. This is the Irish way as you forecast doom. You know what I mean? That way if it doesn't happen, you're like, things are pretty good. Yeah, that way you can only go up. Yeah, I woke up to that scene. You get left over by Sean White. That was pretty sick, buddy.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah, that was fucking crazy. Apparently he had been like snowboarding in that park just with like a mask and goggles on. Nobody knew who he was. Everyone was just like, damn. Damn, that guy's like really good. And then I guess like Shane got there and they jumped, he jumped over him
Starting point is 00:03:45 and then ripped the mask off. And everyone was like, what? Dude. Whoa. Yeah. That's kind of be, I mean, that's kind of, I mean, that's, kind of like
Starting point is 00:03:56 fucking Bill Murray is putting your hands his hands over your eyes and stealing a fry and be like no one's gonna believe this just going to Central Park as Sean White
Starting point is 00:04:05 yeah yeah what story is that Bill Murray stole a French fry from somebody oh yeah it's one of its famous stories he put his hands over someone's eyes
Starting point is 00:04:12 and stole a French fry yeah oh was a guy like by himself yeah yeah he's in fucking South Carolina or whatever he lives and he'll just walk up
Starting point is 00:04:22 to somebody put his hands over him and he apparently would just like eat fries all people's plates and they turn around and spill them by her and they go holy shit and he goes no one's ever going to believe this I'm just walking
Starting point is 00:04:35 well then go give me some more ketchup you fucking asshole yeah at that level dude I've only heard the stories where he like shows up to a wedding and is like congratulations they steal and going no one's ever going to believe this after eating one of your french fries is like creepy yeah it's of course
Starting point is 00:04:51 it's like hauntings yeah he's also have he's got a lot lot of creepy stories about waitresses. Maybe the French fries. Maybe the French fry story came out of that. I was going to say, no one's,
Starting point is 00:05:05 yeah, that's, you're not only doing that in one area of your life. There's no, there's no way that's just a French fry thing. Yeah. It's not just for your coming. No one will ever believe you. Some girl getting assaulted. Yeah, wasn't that the whole point of the Me Too thing is no one's going to believe you?
Starting point is 00:05:24 No one is. Just Bill married dress like Sean White and a snowy and a snowboard. I think I was just assaulted by 60-year-old Sean White. I can't even believe that was real. He did do a kickflip while he was doing it. It was pretty. Did you guys get to like hang and chat with him for a sec? Was he just like, yeah, I was bored.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I just wanted to go show off. He was pretty surreal. Like everyone was like trying to get a picture with him. I said like two words to him. Yeah. The nicest moment was he was getting a bunch of pictures. And he just said, let me get a picture with the boys, which was Shane and I, which is cool. It was the best day ever in snow, Sean White.
Starting point is 00:06:04 He would do it. He's also like, yeah, he's doing like impossible stuff right in front of you. Dude, it was like a bunny slope with like a little mound of snow. And he would do like a front flip. And you're like, how? Yeah. It was crazy. Then we just got, then we just got shit face the rest of the day.
Starting point is 00:06:24 you got fucked up with Sean no no he he wound up going to some other bar we never saw him again but just snowboarding off into the distance he like doesn't walk anywhere he's gonna he just has to snowboard everywhere
Starting point is 00:06:39 he's slipping into a noobr I only come outside when there's a deep freeze that's the only way I can travel yeah we just disappeared it was crazy also and then we're we're walking over to this bar and the bar was like inside of like a building.
Starting point is 00:06:57 It was like in like a hotel. And I'm walking up to the front door. And this guy walks out and I go, hey, is there a bar in there? And he just goes, yeah. And then I first, I realize it's Paul Thomas Anderson. Jesus. Nice. And he just, he was like looking for an Uber.
Starting point is 00:07:15 And I just, I was drunk enough at that point. I just stood there like stunned. And I didn't say anything. I just watched him walk back. and forth. Then I ran inside. I would just scream. Your movies are gay.
Starting point is 00:07:29 He's like, who's going to believe you, man? I say that to him. You're gay. Who's going to believe? Yeah, no. It's wild. New York, man.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Only in New York is what they say. Only in New York City, yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, we snowed in New York. Pretty good. It's the best. There's no, there's no better place on earth.
Starting point is 00:07:51 You were in Iowa. Getting snowed in. Yeah, yeah. But I was in a place I can deal with it. I did these... Nick took a brunch show in Iowa. Yeah, man. He told me he was flying.
Starting point is 00:08:01 He flew out. Yeah. When the storm started on Friday. Right before we got out right before. Yeah. Yeah. We were throwing a football in the park. And he goes, yeah, I'm going to go to Iowa for this bar show.
Starting point is 00:08:12 And I was like, you know, like, hell's freezing over. Yeah. What time you leave me? He goes tomorrow and five. I was like, that's the middle of hell. I'll wear my goggles. he goes Dude he goes
Starting point is 00:08:25 The flights are actually really cheap And I was like No shit Yeah yeah This is the buy low Trap To fly Yeah no one's buy
Starting point is 00:08:33 Even the pilots are like I'll sell my dick Yeah I had my own row It was great How did Austin How did Austin handle the deep freeze See that's why I got out I didn't want to even see it
Starting point is 00:08:44 I just wanted to go somewhere else They handled it Exactly as you would imagine Yeah We got An inch or two of sleep and you couldn't hear the end of it for fucking 72 hours. Yeah, because it's exciting here.
Starting point is 00:08:58 It is exciting. I was in South Dakota and Iowa where they don't give a shit. Yeah, of course. There were eight foot snow piles. Yeah. There's nowhere to put it. People just plow to the end of the driveway and then it just sits there like a graveyard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:11 It's kind of crazy. Yeah. It's cute. To be honest with you, it's cute. It's like an inch in Atlanta. Yeah, yeah. No, Atlanta shut down too. The whole city.
Starting point is 00:09:19 They barely got in the ice. It's adorable. As long as your power. hour doesn't go out it's like well that's what happened in like mississippi and Nashville see it's whackamol nobody knows what city's gonna get it yeah yeah yeah and so you have to just prepare accordingly yeah and then you go on Twitter like oh good thing we're not mississippi hey like I don't know around place one more yeah then it got to like hour 36 and I got like PTSD about like quarantine you know just getting fucked up at noon yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:09:46 it's just you and your girl those are the best what do you want to eat yeah like well what's in the fucking fridge now yeah yeah yeah you know Josh was eating oatmeal I was eating fucking cereal and you just
Starting point is 00:09:56 eat what's in there and you still refuse to play hell at loose even in the middle of the they were hyping up that game
Starting point is 00:10:04 before we got when we were off air yeah oh yeah what's the name that Tommy it's a new it's a new thing
Starting point is 00:10:09 for me okay look at him apparently we got him we got him we got him we have our field
Starting point is 00:10:15 correspondent Josh yeah they're going to give me the fucking business right now
Starting point is 00:10:18 but look I don't I don't play video games I don't I don't. And then Chris sent me... This is so funny watching this.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Josh is hacking himself into the Matrix. No one else can do it. And he's like, oh, oh, man. Chris, hold on a second. Chris just sent me an Xbox because he knew that would work. And I'm like, yeah. That's a cool thing to do, by the way.
Starting point is 00:10:41 It's a great thing to do. It's a very cool gift, Tommy. Let's show some appreciation. Yeah, okay, all right. Well, I sent him a fucking VR thing. He never signed on once. Well, VR, nobody's doing that anymore, man. And nobody's doing the VR.
Starting point is 00:10:52 VR porn was there for like five seconds. Yeah, VR does rule. But he disrespected the VR. And I respected the Xbox for a moment. I'm down. And all I said was, it's very hard for me to turn this fucking machine on when the sun's up. Yeah. Because it's very, at my age, I'm 46 years old.
Starting point is 00:11:11 That is true. It's very weird. I get a group text from these two going, you ready to fire up? Yeah. Fire up. You're our Bill Murray. Like, I'm at the gym. I'm not going to rush home.
Starting point is 00:11:24 I don't know if you're at the gym when we first asked you. Okay. What's his team? I don't know. I think you were just hanging around the house. We wanted you to join the squad. First of all, Tommy played one night, and it was literally the,
Starting point is 00:11:38 it was one of the best rounds of all time. It was great. We all got into a tank. We all got into a tank. I'm driving. Josh is gunning. Tommy's spotting. We're blowing up tanks left and right.
Starting point is 00:11:50 We're mowing down people changing the tide of the war. Like, making a big... It was for us. It was for us, dude. Josh is Shilaboff, just shaking. After that, I was like,
Starting point is 00:12:08 Tommy's got to be hooked. Tommy's got to be hooked. That was like an optimistic. I'm not saying I'm not interested. Can I play devil's ad kid on behalf of Tommy, though? Yeah, I think that could... Well, that's what makes
Starting point is 00:12:18 some of the greatest nights of all time is that you just do it the one time. and then you take a little break. A little break. You know, that's not sustainable to do that all day, every day. Let's say, three nights a week. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:28 When you're done your ships. You'll got, you guys be more excited, you know? They're like, oh, man, Tommy's taking over the tank tonight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do it every day. They become work. Dad's home. It becomes work.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Yeah, yeah. I got to learn the mechanisms of this fucking. It's way better. Yes, dude. Yeah. I'm bad, I guess, huh? Yeah. All right, two cock suckers on this.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Josh, get up here. Sit up here. Sit on my lap. Now I'm envisioning all of us in a tank and we're just arguing with Tommy. No, that's a lot of that, too. We're fighting the other guys. What do you mean? How do I steer? What do you mean I steer weird?
Starting point is 00:13:04 What does that mean? What are you trying to say? Dude. Yeah, we were on the battlefield in Germany. What did Tommy name himself? Okay, so you can name yourself whatever. Tommy joins and signs, up as Tommy Pope 7283.
Starting point is 00:13:22 That's true. First name and social. Oh, that was the social? No, no. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:13:28 just four numbers to be like, no one will believe it's the real time. I don't fucking know. That's what Bill Murray would do. Bill Murray
Starting point is 00:13:36 9412. People are getting alerts that Tommy Pope 842 killed him. You'll never believe this. I used my real name. How do the fuck
Starting point is 00:13:47 what I know? Dude, I was just signing up going through the thing, you know what I mean? It's like paying a medical bill. Yeah. Tommy, Tommy, 7-1-4-2. Auto-fill, auto-fiel.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Here's my address, my girl's name. I got killed by Tommy Pope's Amex. What the hell is this, man? I got jeans out of this? You might run into some Tommy Popes out on the battlefield. That happened while. I was in the trenches once and I ran into Dr. Adolph's sponge.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Dr. Adolf's sponge and I was like, hey, hey. He was like, what? This is what you'll never believe this. Yeah, it's me. I'm actually French for him. Geotag Argentina. Interesting. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Yeah, yeah. I am also at the Adaf sponge. That's great. See, this is good. This is how you build the camaraderie. But you do that too many days in a row, then it's going to get a little stale. You don't want to lose that.
Starting point is 00:14:49 You don't want to lose the spark. No, no, dude. You know, hard it is to do anything in the day. Yeah. That's not controlling your fucking inner demons. But it is. I agree with you. It's an outlet.
Starting point is 00:15:01 It's a demon outlet. Yeah. I agree. I, one million percent agree with you. I've just not locked in to that consistent behavior that it makes sense to go power up. My girl's watching fucking desperate housewives.
Starting point is 00:15:15 My dog is licking my nuts. and I can't be like, guys, I got to get in the mix here. We got a tank war. Yeah, yeah. With my two adult friends. Yeah, but that's, but isn't that her? That's better than a desperate housewives. Come on.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Well, but isn't that her tank war? It's the same thing. Isn't it the same thing? We're desperate house husbands. Yeah, yeah. It's the same fucking thing. You can feel the desperation in the tank. Yes.
Starting point is 00:15:38 We have to win this. Maybe if I play in my bedroom, because we only got two TVs, and I'll put the blackout curtains down and it make it feel like nighttime, and then I'm not a piece of shit. There you go. Like a tank game at fucking 2 p.m. So it's just the light that messes with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Yeah. Yeah, the sun. Yeah. It's a ingrain thing. It does become, it does start to feel a little bit addictive if you're playing during the day, probably. It's like drinking.
Starting point is 00:16:02 We said this. Yeah. You got a bottle of Jack at 11 a.m. You need to reevaluate. You put mezcal in your coffee? Yeah. Shit's wrong. Well, I got to get rid of the shakes.
Starting point is 00:16:11 I got to get rid of the shakes, Tommy. So I can drive the tank. That's what they're doing. So I can drive the tank probably. shaking until you hit the Xbox remote. Dude, well, this isn't just some, this isn't like Call of Duty or something where you're like
Starting point is 00:16:24 sliding around shooting people. This is like war games. I like that you is collaborative and you can all link in on the same thing. It's practically Boy Scouts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the only and I said this to Chris, it's like it's the only time we talk.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Yeah. So I was like, fucking yes, send it to me. Yeah. And I can finally converse with the guy. Yeah. I want a fucking business with. Dude, I got into Fortnite during quarantine. In a bang. One o'clock.
Starting point is 00:16:52 One o'clock. No, not that way. Not that way. Not that way. The other way. Go around. Look, there's fucking, just send him a number.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Send him a number. This is how work. It's so great. Out left. Left. Where's left? 134. Just say 134.
Starting point is 00:17:06 134. Yeah. Josh is like, oh, we're dead. And your girl's watching it and not understanding. No. Meanwhile,
Starting point is 00:17:13 you guys are closer than you've ever been. She would never. She would never. arguing, you know. Dude, you literally. Yeah. The same thing.
Starting point is 00:17:20 You just miss his voice, man. Yeah. It's genuinely working with your buddies to like take a hill. I mean, it's Yeah. And it's all negative communication the whole time.
Starting point is 00:17:33 There is no, I bet there's not even like, hey, Chris, that's a really good shot, pal. There's not even one of those. No, we had a couple of those. We did have a, yeah, we did have a couple of positive. Good. Heat, because there's three different, you know, three different controls. You got the tank guy.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yeah. You got the, what do you call it? The gunner. Yeah. Who's lining things up? What's the third one? Spotter. You got the troop commanders, both.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Vehicle commanders. Yeah, yeah, driving. What's the big tube on the front of the tank? What's that? That's the gun. Okay. All right. I'm getting the hang of it.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Dude, it's like a, it's like a, it's like an RPO for a quarterback. Like, you know when they're good at something. Yeah. So after a game, we'd be like, Josh, you fucking killed it back there. Yeah, yeah. My bet. And then it would flip. Josh is like, can I drive one of it?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Okay, Josh. Okay. Everybody wants their kills. But it's powerful. Just to line something up going, that was on me too, even though he shot it. And I think it's important to get some of that out of you as a man. I think that's why, like, you know, guys at hunt. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:34 You need to get some of that aggression out of there. The video game is very important for that. Yeah. Tank coming. Oh, yeah. Blow up another tank? You got to release your balls on a tank. Also, when you're spotting, you get to, you're looking through like binoculars, so you get a really zoomed in look at guys just getting their bodies blown to bits. It's a real. Yeah. What is the, who is the enemy? Are these generic looking soldiers or are these slightly ethnic? Can you?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, you're either, you're either the allies or the Germans. So why do you guys pick the Germans? Just to feel what that was like. We were on the Germans. We were on Germans sometimes. It's sad to say, but like all the German guns and stuff are. so much better. Well, all their stuff was better, right? We just had more stuff. It wasn't that the whole thing? You can even see like... Their tanks, their subs. I'm going to start there. No, I watched the guy I watched the guy talking about this, that it took
Starting point is 00:19:27 them like, it was something like 12 hours to change a transmission or something on a tiger. And then the Americans, it took like, what was ours? The Bradley, I think. It was like four hours or something. So we just had more shit ready to go. Really? Yeah. Even though theirs were way better. You see that kid on Halloween that was
Starting point is 00:19:42 dressed like a fucking SS soldier? He looked amazing. Of course. Well, you can get away with an Iowa, man. Nobody's paying attention. He was a bouncer. He's a bouncer in Iowa. Nine. Nine?
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah. Dude, it's crazy because the game itself, too, does have like... Hugo Boss, dude? Yeah, it's Hugo Boss. They have, they have, like, way more Nazi uniforms and they're, like, very cool. Yeah. You're like, come on.
Starting point is 00:20:11 I know what you guys are doing. They're beautiful. Yeah, they spent too much money looking good, you know? Yeah, true. We came to play. True. No logos on the uniforms, nothing on the helmet. 100%.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Yeah. We showed up rated, right. It's just, it's the Cleveland Browns. Yeah, man. Actually, the opposite. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Cleveland Brown should be wrecking with their shitty uniform. Maybe the worst uniform in sports. Well, they are bad, but yeah, uniform wise. Pick another. Take another NFL. and that's worse than theirs. This episode's brought to you by Ridgewallet. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Yeah. We've had Ridgewallow on here. You ever see their commercials? They shoot the wallet with a gun. It's so sick. It keeps up. Yeah, that's the point, I guess. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:58 You ever see his leathery pack of shit? He's pointing at Josh. No, I haven't seen his leathery packet of shit. He's got 60 cards at Longhorn Steakhouse. Yeah. There's a ton of Buffalo Wild Wings. Josh, we got to get some of them sturdier for you for those cards. Tommy, do you know what that could be?
Starting point is 00:21:14 I do. Ridge wallet. Whoa. It's unique, slim, modern design holds up to 12 cards plus cash, which you don't have. Well, that means we have to get a couple of Ridgewallis for Josh then. The first of this month, I'll give you a couple dollars. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:21:38 This is the most... Your whole life, Tommy. A whole life. If it ever screws up. It's literally the last. you. Literally. The last wallet you'll ever buy. No way. Yep, dude. I'll die with this wallet. Is that what you're saying? Doesn't it give
Starting point is 00:21:48 you a piece of mind? Knowing that all Ridge wallets have a RFID blocking technology? That's all I wanted a wallet. Keeping you saved from digital pickpocketers? Yes. I don't want anyone taking it. That's what the titanium's for. Yes, dudes in Minnesota. Over 100,000 five star... No, I was talking about you.
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Starting point is 00:22:38 of risk-taking. That I can get away with. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I know what I'm doing with my Ridge wallet. Go to North Philly. All right. For a lifetime warrant, for a limited time,
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Starting point is 00:23:03 they will ask you if you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show, Stuff Island's sent. Blue Choo. This episode is brought you by Blue Choo. Nick, you know it. You love it. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yes, thank God. I just took one. Yeah? Yeah. You want to do another hour? Another four. You already know what time it is. It's time to level up and blue chew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking about next level championship belt gold-plated energy.
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Starting point is 00:24:01 That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer, elevation without hesitation. This is peak passion, peak performance and a single tablet. It comes with the passion, Tommy. Yeah, dude. All right.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Yeah, so next time, she sends you a you up. Yeah. Give me 15. Give me 15. Touch. Yeah. I'm bringing Toots back.
Starting point is 00:24:20 And we got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of Blue Chew Gold with code Stuff Island. That's promo code Stuff Island. Visit Bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. 10% more length. Is that right, Tommy? Is that what you said?
Starting point is 00:24:38 I can't promise it. All right. I can promise 10% more discount. It might happen. Well, yeah, because I don't think anyone else doesn't have shit on the helmet, right? Jets are not up there. Jets have, when they are, right, the modern-day jet is great. They have that shiny.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Oh, you're talking about uniforms. Just uniforms. Oh, just uniforms. Browns, the worst. Is there any other team that doesn't have any logo on their helmet? It's just an orange helmet for the Browns, right? It used to be- Which is already confusing.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Another team. Steelers have half. They have just one side. has a logo. Yeah. Still got the cool emblem, though, on the other side. I'm trying to think of who else just... Fuck.
Starting point is 00:25:22 I mean, the Vikings technically don't have a logo. They just got the horns. Every war is great. Eagles technically don't have a logo. It's just the... No, but you got some of the wings. The wings are sick, though. It's a lot of.
Starting point is 00:25:34 The wings are sick. I'm just saying. No, something adjacent to your mascot, you know, but the brown... I don't even know why they're called the Browns. I mean, I don't want to go too deep into Cleveland here, but... I think the guy who made it's name was like Brown. I think the owner was Brown.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I mean, we got to bring the Redskins back. Oh, really? Yeah. I think he like, I'm trying to remember the order, but I think he made the Bengals too. Who also had the Tiger Strikes. Yeah, just some guy. And I never understood this fucking son.
Starting point is 00:26:04 You ever hear this saying about calling a hot girl, or an ugly girl with a great body, Cincinnati Bengal? Oh, I've never heard that. No. Great body. Great body. Horrible helmet. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Got it. Well, now it makes sense. You call a girl with a great body and a terrible face a Cincinnati Bengal. Huh. And I look back and I go, they're fucking helmets are the best part of their uniform. It might be the opposite. That I would buy like a hot face, but a terrible body. I'd buy a Cincinnati vangle.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Yeah, exactly. That I could see. That you can get behind, huh? Yeah, yeah. that one, because the uniforms themselves just feel like underwhelming. It's just consistently funny that he's wearing a guy. I could get behind.
Starting point is 00:26:54 It took it took him like five minutes to tie that up today. He does look. He looks like an athlete. This never gets untied. He looked like you just got cut from like another team. I would say picked up. I would say picked up. I would say picked up.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Oh, now he's still flex. Look at this. This guy is the post-signing press conference. Like a hockey player, yeah. He does look like one, yeah. You're zooming in from Toronto right now. You look fucking amazing. But he still has allegiance to the flyers, even though he got traded.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Only on podcast. It's still me, baby. It's still me, man. Yeah, man. Tommy, what are you drinking there? What is that lemony? We got a whole bar going here, man. Yeah, this is a...
Starting point is 00:27:36 Chris, we need you back over here, buddy. We need to take some sips with us. Get an Xbox, dude. We all drink together. Can I say, and by the way, whatever the game is, the collaboration, the greatest gaming year of my life, I think, was NBA 2K. I want to say it was like 10 with Michael Jordan on the cover. You could make a created player and then you could all play with your created players on the same online squad. That sounds incredible.
Starting point is 00:28:02 And me and three of my basketball teammates all lived in a flat that was on the same hallway and we each had our own Xbox. Yeah. You're in the room next to the guy and you're playing. It was, dude, it was the best. Dude, I will say nothing, I would actually enjoy that quite a bit because I watched... I watched pro basketball
Starting point is 00:28:21 gaming to see what it was like because I thought I would be like it's got to be the most like efficient, just beautiful game. You know what I mean? Here's what, here's the trick. We felt even more connected because we actually grinded in the game to get our creative players
Starting point is 00:28:37 better. The reason they got rid of the game is people started hacking the game. And so they would make a, they would make like a nine foot tall Steve Kerr. Yeah. And you had to play against that, you know? Yeah, yeah, impossible. It was like an achievement if we could beat those guys.
Starting point is 00:28:55 It was the Monstars. Oh, my God. Yeah. Just an Irish dude that tall. Exactly. And he's got the three-pointer stats already, you know? And he's got that like Pockmark face like somebody dipped a towel on oil. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:08 You're already a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got the scary Irish face. moving off ball and stuff. Was it nice? Yeah, yeah, because, well, we were, dude, we were a college best. I watched pro-Gamers. We were a college basketball team.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Yeah. Yeah. That's what I want to see. Yeah, well, and then, you know, these guys that don't appreciate. Watching a real person, watching a real person ball watch in a video game is. Yeah. It was more than I can bear.
Starting point is 00:29:34 It got some nuts. I like through my phone. Yeah, yeah. No, no, you have to collaborate because again, you're playing against a 10 foot tall fucking, uh, uh, T.J. McConnell. you know
Starting point is 00:29:44 and so you have to but these guys that that hack the game they don't have appreciation for the grind that took to get good you pump-pick those guys out of their goddamn sneakers you know because again and let me remind you guys
Starting point is 00:29:58 they're nine foot tall so they think they can block it from underneath they're like Wimbunyama they think they can block it from under the goal so if you get it and you just wait for a second you start timing it they're jumping over your body
Starting point is 00:30:12 and then you can get in the there, you know. It was fun. Dude, I just watched a reel on Instagram where it was a fighter pilot. He was an actual F-15 or whatever it's called. I don't know. I think F-15's correct. Yeah. So he was an actual fighter pilot that got into this video game to fight this other dude that was like really good. Yeah. Yeah. Just really fucking good. It doesn't always translate though. It does not translate because this dude whipped around him. Yeah. Do you know the best example of this ever? I read this player's tribune.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Worst guy at playing Madden with his own player, Michael Vick. Yeah. Yeah. The year when everyone, he was like a 99 and he could do everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The article was so great. Mike Vick's like, I just couldn't figure out how to make myself do it, man. I don't know how I do it.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah. It's like, Goodwill hunting. He's like, I don't know. I can't explain how I do all these things. I could just play. Dude, I used to feel that way. Yeah. Yeah, there's some fat guy that's doing back.
Starting point is 00:31:13 flips over people with Mike Vick. I used to feel that way. When I would play like Madden 94 and I was like a running back in Pee-Wee football and the running backs in that game couldn't make moves I could make. I was just like, this is crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:32 I like it drove me. I was like, who's making the physics engine for this game? Yeah, exactly. I can't even juke. It's got to be nuts to be Mike Vick and know that you have the wiring. to make the guy move and just come on,
Starting point is 00:31:46 come on, come on, Mike, we did this yesterday. That's techmo. We just did this. I know, Techmo Paul was fucking Bo Jackson, dude. Nasty. Also, what was the, the hockey game and what was that, like,
Starting point is 00:31:59 98 or 94? Yeah, 94. You went around the back of the net and then took a reverse slap that nobody could stop. Yeah, if you backhanded it, going across the cage was going in every time. 94 is.
Starting point is 00:32:13 is the gaming time where you find the one button that just wins. There's only two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was fucking the best. Second Genesis, dude. And you could hit guys so hard, their brain would be, like, bleeding onto the ice. They got rid of that, too, in the 95 edition. Chris, I had a horrible nightmare last night.
Starting point is 00:32:33 About what? Involving us. The Eagles drafted a quarterback? No, no. Don't. That's pretty good. Gris liked it. He's in prison.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Don't even joke about that. I actually don't even want to talk about it. Wait. Why? Are you kidding me? No. You're gonna load us up like that? You're gonna lube us up?
Starting point is 00:32:54 We were trying to get to some location. It was me, him and his girl, and we're all in these fucking motorcycles and we're on the top of like, I don't know, fucking trailers. What? Like, we're riding along trailers.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Like the evil can evil? Like on top of them? Yeah, and then we get on the street, we're on top of, like, fucking four-wheelers. Yeah. And there was a red light. His girl goes. And now you stop at the red light. This already said, this sounds so good already.
Starting point is 00:33:26 On top of trailers. I love how cool your dreams are. Yeah, I wish you knew how violent. You're like, so we're all on motorcycles smoking six and we're jumping rooftop to roof top. And then the first uncool thing is you guys stop at a red light. we abide by the rules dude okay you're not even on the street
Starting point is 00:33:47 the red light is beneath we're not whipping around city hall and Phyllis fellas let's keep it clean here like a bunch of schicatoly we all come to the light Tommy's like there's cameras in this intersection it was a nightmare anyway
Starting point is 00:34:06 your girl bobs off the top of this fucking 18 wheeler like goes right into a truck think or somewhere else and you and I'm like no no no no no no no and you tried to go for it and then you turn around going oh shit and like right
Starting point is 00:34:24 I could see you just drop right off the front of this fucking truck oh no and it was like a ways up I turn my bike all the way around I'm still on the top of the truck Tommy runs he's not trying to help.
Starting point is 00:34:39 No, I couldn't move. Could move. And I look back and you can see people like outside their cars going, what the fuck? Then I look over the edge. Yeah, it ain't good. Yeah. I'm sorry to put this to a fucking hope. I know.
Starting point is 00:34:55 No, it's so funny. That nightmare. It's so funny how obvious, how obvious of a metaphor it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have to dissect the dream. We have to dissect the dream.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh. Oh. right? It's like a man- Your girlfriend does something
Starting point is 00:35:13 You try to help You get killed Oh no Do not And there's even Bystanders going Why is this guy doing this What the hell was too
Starting point is 00:35:25 For And then turned his bike Going Oh shit Oh shit And then just Blood in a manhole There was even a red light
Starting point is 00:35:33 There to try To stop the relationship From continuing It was dead Yeah, did you wake up after that or did it just spiral into something else? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. That's a reset button on the Xbox.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah, he wakes up and it immediately. That's a power down. Immediately. Chris, you want to log on, buddy? I was thinking about you. Yeah, you want to tank? You want to tank? Miss you, man. I do. Damn.
Starting point is 00:36:03 That's crazy, man. I haven't had any wacky dreams. I was going to say, has Tommy been in any of your dreams? Chris, is this a mutual, or you're not even thinking about him? No, I don't know. I haven't, I haven't, I don't feel like having fun. I'm enjoying the distance, actually. Me and Sean White.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Fucking every night. Yeah, me and Sean White, that was my dream or in real life. Yeah. It's Sean White jumping over me. He jumped over my, he frogs me, and then, fuck. It's on Twitter, I was tagged. It's actually kind of a big deal. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:36:32 That really happened? Tell about your kitty dreams. Both Shane and I survived the whole thing. That's great. You're my girl so happy. Yeah. Damn. That's sick, buddy.
Starting point is 00:36:45 It is sick. But, it's nice. We're now back in Westchester. Snow is, it's nice to having all this snow. Yeah. I miss it.
Starting point is 00:36:55 It's like a real winter. Yeah, and in South Dakota, Iowa, they don't, it doesn't, when I got there, was it 20 below?
Starting point is 00:37:03 Yes, but the roads are fine. There was no ice. Yeah, it's like Alaska. They have a guy for that. Yeah. He's just ready.
Starting point is 00:37:09 They probably get tired of snow the way we do with, like, heat and sun in Austin. Yes. But on the East Coast, you get all the four seasons. Yeah. Yeah. You get all the breaks. You get all the fucking, uh, no. So you want to, well, because you're a real sports fan.
Starting point is 00:37:26 You want to experience the good and the bad, so you can appreciate the good seasons. You want to change. So I think, yeah, you want the change. Yeah. You don't want to avoid the trials and tribulations. Yeah. Again, you don't, you don't hack the game. You grind your player
Starting point is 00:37:40 You know? That's how you become a man Turn through the system Yeah, you have to appreciate The system is four seasons Like imagine if you guys were playing your war game And somebody had like a 50 foot tall tank Because they hacked the game
Starting point is 00:37:51 You know And now you guys got to go up against that It's just Steve Kerr It's It's hanging up Yeah It shoots basketball That explodes
Starting point is 00:38:01 Just gives you CTD doesn't kill you Yeah yeah yeah It slowly kills you It felt that way the other night, dude, we had a whole platoon of guys, Josh can vouch for this. This one dude, Tiny Tim, on the other team, was
Starting point is 00:38:15 slaughtering us. Yeah. There's six of us trying to, six of us trying to flog something about Tiny Tim. Josh's making a face. He's making, oh, he's hacking back into the Matrix. Josh is drawing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. I know you can't hear.
Starting point is 00:38:32 We're just talking about Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim's a motherfucker. We needed Sergeant Randall. on our team. We had Tiny Tim Tiny Tim's foe his his heel has got to be Sergeant Randall. This is something we didn't
Starting point is 00:38:47 address with sending Pop Pop a fucking Xbox and going Hey we got this tank game. I'm like, okay cool, let's have fun. Yeah. These guys are There's Tiny Tims out there that are dominating. Yeah, yeah. Dominating. And that's all they do
Starting point is 00:39:03 while the sun's up. That's correct. But I've never I just want to, and I ask Chris, go, is there a feature in this game where we can play just the computer? I would like to do CPU. Do a couple of warm-up rounds. Yeah. Which is us going, let's beat the system.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Most games have beat the system. Tommy, there's no time for that in the battle, in the heat of war. No shit. You think they could say that on D-Day? Hey, can we practice on a couple of box, please? Well, I wasn't ready for D-Day. I was ready for practice, dude. This is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:39:34 I would have more fun if we could just beat the computer. Yeah. And they were like, oh, yeah, that doesn't exist. Yeah, but it's a bigger rush when you can finally kill Tiny Tim, you know. I haven't had one kill. You haven't had one? Well, then you're a drive. I know.
Starting point is 00:39:48 You had kills. With the tank, you had kills. What about spotting? Can you just be the spotter? Huh? Can you just be the spotter? Why do you have to be the gunner? Because I want to kill.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Okay. Well, you're not good enough to do that yet. Yeah, you got to jump back in. You got to ride. You got a ride. You got to ride. You should hear the first fucking 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah, you have to practice.
Starting point is 00:40:05 The whole purpose is wanting to kill. Yeah. You got, yeah, low and slow. So this guy was really taking you guys out. Yeah, he was fucking us up. Dude. I'm fucking them up. It was fucking us up.
Starting point is 00:40:18 So wait a second. Is it one tank versus one tank or is it like a... It's like 50 on 50. Oh, okay. So some guys are in a ditch. The infantry, the tanks, the artillery. Yeah. And how do you coordinate with your other 50 guys what you're going to be doing?
Starting point is 00:40:32 You got a headset. There's an officer. There's an officer. the officer of the I hate Chris takes the initiative Chris is everyone on the same channel to chat
Starting point is 00:40:41 Yeah the officer No way You have to get 50 guys On the same page Well it's there's 50 racist redditors Yeah yeah It can be a problem
Starting point is 00:40:50 It can be a problem We ran into that The other night too With this guy Ricky Bacon He wouldn't shut the fuck Ricky Bacon He would be He'd talk about Ricky Bacon
Starting point is 00:41:01 These sound like local Comedy legend Bro brother you ever follow Ricky Bacon in Jacksonville you ever have to follow that guy yeah his final joke is he just brings out one puppet Ricky Baker but you should be the officer Chris
Starting point is 00:41:20 I mean of anyone I know you're intellected how do you get a random dude in his mom's basement to like obey your commands how do you do that it's it's tough It's tough. You say the end word. It's tough.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys get frustrated. Well, Ricky Bacon, it's always like some nine-year-old kid who's like the most racist person you've ever met in life. Of course. They're not listening to their parents. He's so good, though. He wouldn't, no, he talked a big game. He sucked ass.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Tiny Tim got the best of them. Tiny Tim. Hold on. Tiny Tim was better than Ricky Bacon. Oh, yeah. Tiny Tim. I don't believe it. Tiny Tim.
Starting point is 00:42:00 And then Johnny Screwballs. What a lineup. If you weren't at that show. Who's the host? Who's the headliner? They're interchangeable, you know? Who had more kids that night? That's the question.
Starting point is 00:42:12 Welcome to Tampa Yuck Yucks. Give him for Ricky Bacon. But then he's refusing to go on stage. Yeah. But he's got his head set on? He's got one more game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This segment is sponsored by California.
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Starting point is 00:42:49 Here, too. All right. You ever done it? I have. I've used Kalshi lot. I've been on the presidential election last time. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Are you serious? I'll give you a hint. I won big. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Just for financial reasons. How much? You don't want to talk about it?
Starting point is 00:43:04 I don't think we need a dollar amount in the ad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm not paying you for this either. It's a lot. You can win a lot on Kalshi. I bet. They can bet on whether your mustache is going to freeze off when you walk outside.
Starting point is 00:43:14 They have that many things you can bet on on Kalshi. That felt personal. Well, it's just a, I'm just letting you know how the website works. Wow. Yeah. Download Kalshi and use code stuff. StU-U-F to get $10 when you deposit. Click to link in.
Starting point is 00:43:30 the description. calshy.com slash R slash stuff or download the Calshy app and use code stuff to sign up and trade today. I think our first cut was better. I just wanted that to be in the ad.
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Starting point is 00:46:16 Yeah. Oh, mine are artificial. They don't ruin my armpits. Yeah. Or fuck things up. Your armpits seem great today. Thank you. I was going to ask if you were using Mando.
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Starting point is 00:46:37 Whoa. I do the Mando spray on my nookies. Oh, it's spray. Well, it comes in all forms. Yeah? Wipes, deodorant, and spray. I can wipe my thigh folds, finally. I grab my...
Starting point is 00:46:47 The weight is over. I grab my bojongies. That's W-E-I-G-H-T. The weight is over. Do you see you roan that? You can cut that. Created by a doctor who You see how you got too fucking loosey-goosey?
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Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah. With Mando, the average grunder, grundle order is zero out of ten. Zero. Don't want to be that scientist. Yeah. Who was this freak?
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Starting point is 00:48:39 Free shipping. They sent it to you without charging it. Free shipping. Oh my God. Free shipping. Guys, what are you waiting for? Can you free shipping, believe it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Every time Ricky Bacon picked his head up, Tiny Tim was sending a bullet right through it. It was nuts. Tiny Tim's dirty. He's just sitting on it. Tiny Tim was. Let me ask you guys. Josh and Chris, do you, is there, every time you log on, do you see a consistency in these guys that are playing? Like, is Tiny Tim, is he in the playing field every single time?
Starting point is 00:49:13 No, no, no. But you'll run it, you'll run into the guys like, again. Like, you'll see dudes again sometimes. But, yeah, no, it's always different. There's so many games. There's so many people playing that it's like, it's kind of rare. But then you'll see that you'll see a good guy. again and if he's on your team you're like you like if i ran in a tiny tim i would be dude i'd have
Starting point is 00:49:35 my hand on his back wherever you're going dude what do you need yeah can i get a pick can i get a pick you're asking you're asking for a pick in the airport with tiny tim that's what you said that's off tiny tim are you Sean white yes could you jump over my head can you jump over me please I'm such a fan yeah no it's It's always, it's always different. Dude, I've never, I've never experienced anything like that. Because there's six, seven guys potentially in a platoon. All seven of us were getting worked by one guy, Tiny Tim,
Starting point is 00:50:11 who was in like a bush somewhere. We couldn't even find him. He was just, it was slaughterhouse. You imagine this report back to like actual military guys? To your wife? He was in a bush somewhere, man. He smoked so many guys. Imagine prepping a meal with your wife going,
Starting point is 00:50:26 Tiny Tim, we couldn't get him. He was everywhere. He was nowhere. Yeah. Yeah, but she's got the same story for you. Yeah, Angelina, man. They couldn't cross the check, man. She had every different argument for every husband that she had sex with. And it was the same thing.
Starting point is 00:50:45 She kept fucking him in a bush somewhere. They never figured out where she was doing it. It really is the same. And, you know, Nick, the maps, the maps are huge. The maps are like five miles by five miles. If it's 50 on 50, it has to be, right? Yeah. The maps are huge.
Starting point is 00:50:58 And so we, like, switched. like we went totally the other side of the map to try to like come into this point from the other side and Tiny Tim once again. It was like, the old switch the side of the map trick. We're a kilometer away from the last where Tiny Tim was killing us before. And he somehow on the, like on the other side is a legend.
Starting point is 00:51:23 He's a fucking legend. He's a Russian legend. Yeah, man. Who's that Russian sniper that, has like the most kills in World War II. Brittany Griner? That was fun for Josh.
Starting point is 00:51:39 She's a WMBA player who was being held. Yeah, she got stuck in Russia. Oh, the trainee. Okay. That's all you have to say to Tommy. You can say that about any WMA player. Tommy, what do you remember about Caitlin Clark? Oh, the trainee?
Starting point is 00:51:55 No. They can play with the boys? No, Kate Clark's in Iowa 10. Except for K. That bitch is She's the hottest woman ever, man. She's a tango. Cincinnati Bangle.
Starting point is 00:52:05 She's a tanker. Cincinnati, man. She's, oh, yes, Galen Clark is Tony, too.
Starting point is 00:52:14 She's in a bush somewhere. That actually does. She's been in a bush her whole life. In Iowa, in Iowa Hawkeye does sound in a bunch of other names. She's figuring her to boyfriend, man.
Starting point is 00:52:26 She's that good. Yeah. Her boyfriend's Ricky Baking. That's great. Is this a crossover game? Can you play on PlayStation? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Because boys, I have a PlayStation. I haven't fired it up in forever because I'm busy. But if it's time to, if it's time to tank up. Can you do that? Cross,
Starting point is 00:52:51 cross platform? Yeah, yeah. Chris is saying yes. No, Chris said the same thing. But Josh is making a face. No,
Starting point is 00:52:56 no, no, no, no. My cousin Sean plays with that. he's got a PlayStation. Okay. Shout out to Sean. Sean does rule.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Sean's nice. The concept. Sean's nice with the MG, dude. He gets, you get him. Me, Chris and Sean, we locked in the onward
Starting point is 00:53:12 with the VR. Yeah. Oh, good. Boys, let me tell you something. Mm-hmm. We already got two. I'll buy another.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Another two. If you want to get in the VR. No. VR is, VR is so fun. It hurts. Yeah. It's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:53:30 If that's on the tape, if you're going to buy me, I would love you. If that's what the point of this story. You did a bar show in Iowa. You deserve it, Bob. Thanks, man. You did our podcast? Yeah, I was just playing whackamol with a bunch of drunks for like an hour. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:43 This is 11 a.m. too. It was an early show. Yeah. People were drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Those shows are so fun. Here's the cool thing about the Midwest.
Starting point is 00:53:53 They're the happiest fives and sixes on earth. Yeah. It's just a bunch of fives and sixes. six is, they're not concerned with appearances, they're not concerned with, they're just trying to get fucked up and have a good time. Because the dudes are zeros and ones. Yeah, man. Yeah, so fives and six, that's like a hot.
Starting point is 00:54:09 There's smokes. Yeah, my god. It's great. It's a binary system. What's that? Zero one, zero one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, binary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't really, we don't do the 10 thing here. We don't do the one through 10. We do zero.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Speak computer talk, my fat, bitch. Would or would not? Honestly, some nights You're just going to flip a coin, brother. Would and would not zero and one. The map of Iowa. Yeah, dude. Zero one, zero one, zero one, zero one.
Starting point is 00:54:49 One, one, zero one. That's good stuff. But, uh, that was a great time. Can I just be real quick? Tommy, you do whatever you want. Yeah. While you're back there, if you want to grab your boy, another... Is that a surge?
Starting point is 00:55:06 You got a surge going? Yeah, they didn't have the regulars. So we're getting fired up over here. You know, the high octane? Yeah, we're putting the tank in the high gear today over here, man. The monster energy drunk. Yeah, man. Chris, we need you back here, man, getting fucked up with us, pal.
Starting point is 00:55:26 I know. Can't wait. Can't wave it to be back in the nice weather. Although I'm enjoying the snow, but when it's not snow and it's just cold and dark. As long as it's not, as long as it's not all the time, I'm happy to do some snow, but I just don't like, as an adult I realize I don't really appreciate it as much. It's sort of, it's almost a hindrance in some cases. The snow? Yeah, because we're not making snowballs and sledding anymore, you know?
Starting point is 00:55:54 I want to go driving. I want to go somewhere. That can be pretty fun too. You get a nice... I guess I didn't think about it that one. You got a nice base. Actually, Nick, you can go drinking and driving is what you can do. Yeah, no one will stop you.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Especially in Austin. I will say, shout out to the Okaboji, Iowa police. Boy, are those guys hands off. Let me just say, there are no rules and regulations. They drive around, but I think it's just for show. I didn't see them, like, pulling anybody over, you know? No, no. Yo, Ginojanoi.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we found a new rule. slur for Tommy. If it's a town he's never heard of and it sounds native, that is now the slur for whatever demographic he chooses. He's going to say that the next time you guys play your war game.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Got a couple more Okajawi's to the right. Look to the right. Two o'clock. Four Okersnawis. Is my daughter in there? It's my daughter in there. Now we're back. Now we're full circle. I had forgotten about that.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Chris, this is a callback to, we had a big, a good riff before the... I can explain it again. I think it was Eddie Hall. It's one of the major power lifter guys, world champion. They were asking him, Chris, how he generates the power to break a world record for lifting. And he said that he, a psychologist taught him how to envision that his family was in danger. And that's how you tap in to the extra adrenaline that can cause you to like lift a car off your wife. for something, and so thus was
Starting point is 00:57:29 born the phrase, is my daughter in there? It's from Majestic River, what's it called? Mystic Oka Jawi is that the name of the movie? It's from the film Mystic Pizza. Also, Mystic Pizza
Starting point is 00:57:47 sucks. It's bad. We went, we went to Josh, did you hit the fan again? I always read that. The actual pizza is terrible. I'm sweating over here. You sweating? I'm sorry. Yeah, because you guys turn it to 97 degrees every time we record this shit. They don't fucking live here.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Well, Chris, get over here, man. I don't, dude. That's the problem is that, like, you got to keep it 100 degrees in there, otherwise the pipes freeze. They were like, they were like, you got to run the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to drip. You got to do the faucet drip. And I was like, why? And they were like, oh, because the pipes are on the outside
Starting point is 00:58:19 of the house. It's like, well, put them on the inside. That's how everyone else does it. It's all fucking dog shit. It's crazy. How do they not know how to build a house down there. I don't get it. These animals went nuts about this one inch of sleep. You know?
Starting point is 00:58:33 But what happened in the bathroom, dude? What happened in the bathroom? Me? Oh, just now? I don't know. Does you look different? You came back and you're like, these fucking animals, dude. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:58:47 I think he just heard of saying Okoboji again, and he got excited. You get sad in the bathroom? Total energy shift in the bathroom. I was hoping it was done Did you get a weird text? No no no You have another bad dream about Chris That was a fucking terrible
Starting point is 00:59:07 I didn't even talk about it As much as how bad it was All I did was Explain the whole thing in detail To all of our listeners That's all I did No it got me going It was bad
Starting point is 00:59:19 It'd be really interesting To see that weight lifter Like if he sets like a record For a lift what his energy is afterwards because that can't be an easy thing to shift out of what if he gets hooked on that though what if he makes them hold a gun to his daughter's head
Starting point is 00:59:35 before he lifts you know it's like only being able to sing while you smoke math something crazy yeah I watched American Idol last night and I'll tell you I haven't watched it in years every time I watch American Idol I cry now
Starting point is 00:59:49 yes why because it's beautiful oh the singers unbelievable. So we're talking these are the later these are the later rounds. I don't know. What?
Starting point is 01:00:02 Well, no. Okay. No, they're still getting the ticket to do it. Peak American television? I mean, there's other examples, but one of the peaks was the original American Idol Randy, Paul, Simon,
Starting point is 01:00:14 and it was the prelims, the trials where all the retards were trying out. That was the last, listen, my family, it was the Kill Tony of American Idol. Yeah. My family,
Starting point is 01:00:24 does not, we don't really communicate. There's four of us. We're in four different parts of the world. You only talk about it? The last thing we all did together as a family was watch these retards on American Idol. I vividly remember seeing these different guys. One guy went on in a bumblebee costume and did, I like big butts and I cannot like that thing. And it was terrible.
Starting point is 01:00:46 But it was killing so hard. It was hilarious. And they were all like, yeah, you're out. And he was gone, you know? People were going. on just to fuck around. I mean, it is kill Tony. Because the guys do that now. They dress up in a bumblebee costume and now they're going to go viral, you know? But when it works, man. But that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Yeah, but it was so good. We're talking all that. And then Paula would tell them, you're amazing, I love you, but you're not right for the show. And then Randy would be like, not for me. And then Simon would be like, you should kill yourself. It was so good. The three of them, man. I know, but of a three-day ice storm where I'm Watching American Idol and Shark Tank in the background because there's no sports. Shark Tank's not bad. Shark Tank.
Starting point is 01:01:32 I'll watch some of those clips, yeah. And I'm getting like emotional because I, it's just me and my girl. We're eating the same dog shit every day. It's truly dog food. We're eating whatever leftovers are. Two, three times a day. Yeah. I got caught by American Idol and I got emotional.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Wow. Like truly like wiping my fucking eyelashes So I can see The finale of this Do they ever do a check-in With Simon Cowl On the modern America's
Starting point is 01:02:03 He really paid the ultimate price For criticizing everyone Yeah For everything His face Yeah that's a fucking pedophile robot Is crazy Is he a pedophile?
Starting point is 01:02:13 Does he have accusations? It has to be. Yeah maybe I don't know You have to say allegedly It is a real like Portrait of Dorian Gray Situation
Starting point is 01:02:21 You should that video of him clapping? Where he's like, oh, he's the most uncoordinated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's uncoordinated because he's been finger and toddler. He's not actually. That throws you off a little bit. His joints are all discombobular. He's not like an actual musician, right?
Starting point is 01:02:38 He's just like a producer or something molester. He's a good money from everything. Just one day. I'm sorry, he's just like juke-cund. Is that how you said? That's one word. Okay. Ocajab with you.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Ocajooie. That's what he is. It's one of us Akajibuishes. Ashkenawi, you know. Ashkenazi. Ashkenawa. Ashkenawa.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Ashkeno. I'm just laughing to the idea that that affects your crew of office. Yeah. Not going to be working here anymore. Not going to be working here. Just one day a pitcher shows up to practice. He's not throwing quite right. Coach is like, what did you do this weekend?
Starting point is 01:03:22 Yeah. I've only seen this once before This guy It was decent three Yeah Yeah man American Idol was an all-timer And then I
Starting point is 01:03:40 I can still name some of the fucking people Kelly Clarkson won first Ruben stuttered he beat Clay Aiken It was very controversial And then Fantasia Berino she won Yeah first black Ruben Stutter
Starting point is 01:03:52 I think one before First black is crazy man Godfrew but we have fun Ruben Stutter Carrey Underwood I think is one of the only like still active
Starting point is 01:04:07 She's on there now Yeah I'm sure she's like a whatever I couldn't recognize Bo Bice I remember that guy He was a big deal Yeah Chris Daughtry if I'm not mistaken He made a run he had a couple
Starting point is 01:04:19 Yeah I didn't like that I don't like that grunge fucking... Sure. 90s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Act. Yeah. From a...
Starting point is 01:04:26 You don't like... He was like punk rock country, wasn't he? He was like that weird... Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like studded belt and the like... Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:35 Bandanas around his wrists. That was a thing for it, dude. Total costume didn't work. Yeah. Good voice. But the whole thing. He looked like the lead singer of Disturbed. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:44 You ever seen that guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But he was doing like country Christian shit. It was the other side. Yeah. There's a lot of artists. Justin Warini, he's who lost to Kelly Clarkson.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Yeah, the current here. They made a movie together. Yeah. It was a big, it was a big deal. Yeah. So I still remember. Did you watch the movie? I think I saw a couple of clips.
Starting point is 01:05:07 I'm like, this guy's gay, obviously. You're lying. You're lying. You saw a little movie. I'm out. He's 100% gay. I'm trying to go back through the logs and who else was in there. But I think that's a lot.
Starting point is 01:05:19 I just named like seven people. her fat arms oh Kelly Clarkson yeah well she's like Adele man she can't she's she's you know yeah she's binary she's the binary code it's wood and wooden no but Adele was like look
Starting point is 01:05:33 I'll go black and I'll lose some weight which is the opposite of what you should do but Kelly Clarkson she was always built for the blacks she had this I call them fat arms but it's fat arms No, we understand what you're saying. Yeah, she had that.
Starting point is 01:05:54 We decoded that one pretty quick. Oh, you don't think it was that brilliant? We also know what you mean when you're saying blacks. We also know what you want to say instead of blacks. All right, I'll coach you. I call it a big ass. I'm a tanker. I'm a tanker on Xbox, dude.
Starting point is 01:06:09 I'll switch it up. Yeah, yeah. So what makes you emotional when you watch it today? Is it the success or the failure or just the... Dude, they do it so well. like watching 60 minutes. 60 minutes is the best program. You cry when you watch 60 minutes.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Well, no, it's just so well produced and so well edited. And these... I think Tommy selected... I think Tommy selected like a few things that he's given himself permission to like feel things while watching. That's not gay. One end of the spectrum is the Eagles, Eagles games. And the other end of the spectrum is American Idol.
Starting point is 01:06:52 I cry when the Eagles... minutes. Yeah. Man, if only when they go to commercial on the Eagles games, it could be that T, T, T, T, T T T T T T T T T Tmmy would just start bawling his eyes out. That's my sleep machine. That's my sound machine. That gives me a panic.
Starting point is 01:07:07 That was like the, you haven't done your homework clock. Yeah. Dude. Sunday night 60 minutes. It just put the pressure on. It felt the pressure. No way. Simpsons come on.
Starting point is 01:07:20 You start, your feet start sweating. It's seven. That's a good throwback. It's seven. And I didn't draw Julius Caesar from my book report. Right. I am fucked.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Draw for my book report. Well, the time slip is my brother. The time slippage is so real. When you're a kid, a kid in the Northeast and that sun starts going down at like four. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:48 And you're like, I got plenty of time. And all of a sudden it's 8.30. And you're like, oh, no. Yes. Yes. You don't have appreciation for time or other people's time. I certainly, I certainly waited until the last minute and watched and watched the beginning of my parents' divorce because of the book report I took too long to get started on. I feel like we're all locked in this, this late time zone where you just go, I'll wait until the exact moment I have to act. Yeah. Yeah. And it's way too fucking light for everything. Well, you like, auditions, reading scripts, podcasts, stand up. Right.
Starting point is 01:08:24 You build the pressure to a point where it'll be like, it'll be easier to potentially get an extension tomorrow than to attempt to finish this homework that's due. So what a lot of guys do is they don't, they won't even like fully study. It's almost like an excuse you can put it in the back of your head where you go, wow, I didn't. Didn't John Jones say that on Rogan where he was like, I would go out and party the night before a fight. that way if I lose I know
Starting point is 01:08:54 I wasn't at my best He has an excuse you build in an excuse It says an Ishkenawa So you don't Yeah man He's one of us Yes Tommy Yes Tommy
Starting point is 01:09:04 He would have been attracted to Kelly Clarkson Is that what we're saying Or pre-addell Yeah Yeah Priadel Carrick Carrie
Starting point is 01:09:15 Yeah Tommy Let's get one more All let's get out of here I got to go Just just on the phone with a guy for the first time being like, you sound like you're like an early Adel kind of guy. Yeah, I would. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:35 She's very talented. All right. Well, enjoy. Enjoy your dinner, Tom. Hopefully when you get back. Chris, we miss you, pal. I know, dude. I miss you guys too.
Starting point is 01:09:46 I got to. I'll see you next week. Yeah. You coming up? Yeah. Hell, yeah. What are you going up there for? Tires?
Starting point is 01:09:54 Tires. Oh, duh. Four, five, six. Oh, that thing. Let's go. That old thing. Yeah, yeah. And what do we got?
Starting point is 01:10:01 The Super Bowl on the seventh or the eighth? What do we do? Oh, yeah. It's my birthday, baby. Woo. Super Bowl is your birthday? Yeah. Whoa, dude.
Starting point is 01:10:10 All right, I'll figure out my schedule. I'll call you tomorrow. All right, cool. Uh, love you, see you. Yeah, love you. See you, bros. Bye. Head over to the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Yeah. Brought to you by Rocket Money. Did I do that right? Maybe. Brought to you by American Idol. This episode is tough on. That's true. Brought you by Fittarmes.
Starting point is 01:10:34 If you got Fittarmes, I'll do it. Be the most beautiful singer in the world. Otherwise, you're just lumpy at a fucking pool. Yeah, you got to be talented still. All right, that's great. All right.
Starting point is 01:10:50 See you, boys. All right, see you.

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