Stuff Island - Nick Murphy - Stuff Island #242

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

Nick Murphy joins Tommy and Chris this week Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://www.BetterHelp.com/STUFFISLAND. For free shipping on your order & 365-day returns go to https://www.quince.com/stuff Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We just keep it. Yeah. 10 minutes. Oh, boys. How are we doing it? All right. How are we doing? We need to hold this.

We got so much stuff on the docket, dude. Yeah. Yeah. We almost turned Tommy to a soccer fan yesterday. We were so close. I saw the spark. I saw him try to, and then the U.S. just got flatlined. No, I've been a fan.

I'm a fan of every World Cup. Yeah. No, I know, but I can see you almost starting to give a shit about soccer. You want it to do. Well, they got so far. They got the 16 again. Like it was like, let's go, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, I wanted him to win, but it's just, you know. There's no shot. To me, it's, dude, every time I watch soccer, I feel like, and I feel like I've watched a decent amount of soccer. Yeah. And I still feel like I'm constantly going, what are the rules? Yeah. What are the rules? Yeah, yeah.

It feels like the rules are made by people who don't know anything about sports. They, uh, it's been a big thing. It's been a big thing on Twitter where people are like, so the game just ends when they decide it ends or what's the... That is what happens, which is, I mean, that's already insane. But the goal, first of all, one of the goals by Belgium yesterday, the guy's hanging on his back. Yeah. Pulls him down to jump over him and head it in. He dunked on him.

No, no, no. That's illegal in every sport. Yeah. You cannot grab a guy over the back. Use him to jump. The Blake Griffin on Pau Gasol. What are we doing? And even the commentator goes,

I know that looks like it should be illegal, but it's not. Then why am I watching? Because he knows the Americans are screaming at the TV. I know what you all are thinking, but that actually does count. Dude, I tried to look up today how many goals, like how many goals are,

like what percentage of goals are called back? It's got to be 45. It's a lot now because they do that VAR shit. They do the, they got the All sides and all that. Yeah, yeah.

I'm talking about just an off sides call. Yeah. Every time someone cheers. Oh, like even without having to review. Without the VAR, how many times

is the best play overturned? Well, the funniest part is like... It's got to be... If I tried to convince you to watch a sport like this, you'd go, there's no way.

Yeah. This is ridiculous. Five Eagles touchdowns call back? Yeah, dude. Could you imagine if 40 to 50% of scoring plays in the NFL were overturned. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, like... Well, then they would make a touchdown worth like 17 points. Yeah. Just so it means more when you get one. Dude, also when fucking Pulisich broke his leg. Yeah, he broke his calf or something. That's not a foul?

That's all the fouls. They call the whole game as a guy stepping in front of another guy. Yeah. Yeah. I really enjoyed that dude jumping over like the little wall and breaking his... That was your... That was Jordan Henderson. That was an English player.

That was fun. That is. That is fun. Tripped over it. That soccer, that is the concentration of how I feel about soccer. I know. Is all these pussies laying down for a while pretending to be injured and this guy hops over like a three-foot fucking. So you know they really are injured that.

They can't handle regular. I mean, well, that had to be a bad. No, no, that was the other beautiful part is you finally got to see someone really getting injured. The guy on Belgium when he really got hurt. He did none of the this. He just went, yeah.

Like you, like anyone does when they get hurt. That's a real injury. If you're really hurt, you go, like you woke up during surgery. Yeah. Yeah, they act like five-year-olds

want to treat. Yeah, yeah. Whereas you get really injured. You're in shock. You never get, dude, even if, even if you're just like, I blew my knee out,

you know it. Yeah, you know it. Nobody, nobody goes, uh-huh. Right. Dude, if you do that, you should be immediately red card. Well, that's what I was going to say. Also, a guy picked up the ball at the end of the game.

It's just like... I'm glad I brought this up. I'm glad I brought this up. There are a million years behind sports. It's like, you don't have a delay a game call? It's like, dude, if... Well, that goes on to the end of the game, the extra time, the celebration. I'm talking about when you're already in extra time, they've got no more tools.

Yeah. It's like a guy, it's a corner camera. a guy picks the ball up for the other team. It's like red card. What are you doing? Get them out. Chris, Chris,

reffing a game? It would end with three players. They act like it's a situation that's difficult to resolve. Since I was playing sports, five years old, if you took the ball and threw it somewhere, you're getting fucked up. They'll kick it a second time.

You're getting ejected. They'll kick it a second time. the year. You're not eating that night. Your dad's not feeding you. You're getting fucked up at school and bullied for six months. It's like, get off the ground.

You know, everyone's played a basketball game and someone got pissed off and kick the ball like on a roof. Pussy? What the fuck are you doing? Are you going to get that? Yeah. We can't play now.

It's unbelievable. Just roofing a ball. They picked the ball. These guys will pick the ball up and run away. That's correct, yes. And they'll be, then the ref will come over and remand them. It's like, they'll kick it a second time into the goal. Like, well, they'll score and then the second guy up and punch it in one more time right in front of the goalie.

That would be so funny. He took it out of the end zone and ran it again. But that's what I thought they should have done with the guy that snapped his wrist, because he broke his arm. You can tell in the video, it would be so funny if somebody walked over at the top of him and just held a yellow card. over his body. His arms is dangling. Yeah, the pussies, man. They're pussies.

They're, but they're better at their pussy at sport. They're very good. That's the problem. I mean, I know. When it's, when it's, when it works, it's so great, but there's just so much to it that you're like, can we fix this? Well, I wish you could have seen.

The embarrassment of someone putting you into a stretcher. Yes. And carding you off and you just stand. up drink a-der-hate and get back out there. Dude, falling, that shame would live with me for the rest of life. Yeah, you can't get carded off. Yeah. Falling from a human height

and breaking your arm, it's like, that's something you expect to happen to like a An eight-year-old. An osteoporosis. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My mom literally did it. She broke her wrist in like seven places. She fell like three feet. Yeah. Yeah. And she didn't start doing this.

She didn't start rolling around. My dad did put her in a stretcher, though. Yeah, that's the other thing. That guy didn't move. Yeah. That guy did not move. No, he stayed on the ground. He had about 13 people surrounding him after that.

Yeah. No, there is a weird thing where, like, the fake injuries in extra time. Like, where does, do they add that on to the extra time? Let's say it's plus six, right? You're getting the four minutes and they're down one. Everybody's hustle around and some guys like, I got a cram. I get a cramp. Oh, they'll do that sometimes.

Yeah, it'll waste more time. Oh, of course they will. Yeah. Do they add that extra time all to the extra time? The problem is... No, because the point is to waste the extra, extra time. It's... You know?

It's at, like, the... It's at the ref's discretion at that point. But then he's under pressure, because it's like... The amount of time they're wasting is minutes. You know what I mean? And you can't add five minutes to five minutes extra time. Like, they're embarrassed.

So they'll add, like, two. There's video clips of managers in, like, big soccer. games extra time he'll do a little flick at one of his players and the guy'll just drop to the ground start rolling around yeah because he knows it's ticking the clock yeah yeah of course it's an extra time it's crazy see this is why i like like i i like when soccer players in the past were like murdered yeah like consequences yeah like iraq or saudi arabia columbia that guy was fucking murdered yeah because he kicked his own goal in by accident can't score can't score in your own country That's good. You got to raise the stakes here for violence.

Yeah. It's like if you want to play around. The refs need to be under the threat of death. Dude, every ref and every fucking score. Well, that's going to influence the whole game. No, I know. But, you know. There's nothing worse than baseball.

I mean, ours are too, though. They get death threats for, I got that Armando Galauga clip recirculated back in my algorithm recently. Was Jim something, Joyce? Yeah, fuck that guy. Who blew the perfect game. The perfect game. People wanted to kill him for like years. Yeah, yeah. He cried the next time he saw it.

You better fucking cry. Yeah. That's not enough. Take him in the Middle East, cut his fucking head off. Cut his finger. Get, take a finger.

Here's the problem with the MLB umpires. They switch positions. So they'll go from behind the plate. Then they go to first. Go behind second. And they shift. They rotate throughout the series. Yeah.

Stay in your fucking lane. Get better at whatever that is. True. Stop trying to learn everything. Take a good record first. Everybody's got a fucking job. Yeah, yeah. Learn the corners of the fucking plate.

Paint the black. Yeah, yeah. But there's, you know, everyone wants to be the home plate up, right? Oh, I don't know, man. Because it never works out. I don't know. These guys, they don't seem like they're nervous. There's not a legend.

Nobody's, it doesn't seem like anyone's like trying to shy away from the responsibility of home played up. It seems like they, whenever they're the home played up. Do they get paid the most? No, I think they rotate. That's the whole thing. Oh, okay. Well, I mean like, well, yeah, I guess it doesn't matter. I think it's funny that you can see the strike zone on TV.

Like I've been saying this for years. There should be no... Human interaction. That should be his job. Mike him up and go, that was a strike. Just tell him. Just get rid of him. So he doesn't fuck it up.

Well, no, because you still need this guy. You need that playoffs. True, true, true. Strike three. You need to ring him up so the stadium can go nuts. I don't trust the technology enough yet to go, we don't need human interactions. I don't believe in it. like you watching tennis

and they're like was that in and they'll show like the animation like five seconds later and it's just like knicking the line it's like

it's in it's like oh you pick that up you pick that up in a ball traveling 130 miles I think it did the footprint of the ball is always

you sound like you're born in the 20s what are you talking about I don't believe you don't want to get rid of your horse after cars are in a minute oh you can get there 10 minutes

you get there 10 minutes oh oh you just turn a key and it starts up okay Yeah, it picks it up. No, the only thing that gets me going about the tennis. Once I get my Honda to wink back at me the way my horse does, I'll fuck with it. The only thing about the Hawkeye thing with tennis is that the footprint is always the same.

Yeah. I like this with you guys. Come on, dude. Talking about all the ladies sports with Tommy and Chris. It's just tennis and soccer. Dude, I just need that. I would meme this guy. Just going, come on.

I would send that so many times. I would send that all day to everybody. Whether it's going 140 miles an hour or it's a lob shot. It still breaks the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want it to be a banana shaped? Well, yeah, it's what happens. You're running that fast.

Try and slide on clay. Your foot doesn't look like a banana. normal fucking foot. I get it, but it makes it impact something. I don't know. No, I mean, I get it when it's fast, but it'll be a fucking lob shot. It'll still have this and be like touching the line and they're like,

the Hawkeye said. When it comes down to it, no one's criticism. That lob was 150 miles and hours. Yeah. Reps and umpires, if you're going to keep the human contact, right? If you're going to be if it's not going to be all technology for the next like 10 years,

there has to be rulings after every season. They should publicly be fucking not executed. Scored. But they should be scored and there should be like another ceremony there going like, this guy was the best. Right. You were the fucking worst. Yes. Yeah. Like

they need to be ranked something. Like Oscars for for people that are putting shows out and that get fucking cancer. Right. Let's have an in memoriam for these terrible executives that are putting dog shit shows on television. Walk them all out. I want a buzz saw.

Tim Donahy wins again. How does he keep doing this? Yes. Like an SPs level presentation. Yes. Nominees. Yeah. Dude, a ref,

a ref part of the F's possible. Yeah. And you run the montage for each of these fucking dildos. And see who actually gets the espie. It's like the razzies. For the shitty movies. And then you're suspended for a year.

Yeah. If you win that award, you're spending it for a year. You got to come back. You'll learn. Learn the fuck. True. Send him back. There should be relegation.

Send them down in the miners. Oh, I like that. Relegator refs? I like this. Yeah. I like this idea. Single a.

I am. Put them in Lowell, Massachusetts. Yes. For the spinners. Shout out Chris Heron. Let that guy live in a heroin town. I've been saying this about a journalist.

All these predictor guys. You get three in a row wrong. You're off the air for a couple days. Take a break. Go study the game. You know? Brother, politicians? Yeah.

All this shit. You promise? We're thinking too small. It should be across the board. You lose a war? You're out. Yeah. I've been saying that forever.

There should be like there should be like a nationwide like just referendum. Do you want to get rid of everyone in Congress? Yeah. You know what I mean? It should go along with like the presidential election. Is it all or nothing or you pick certain people? No, no, no. Get rid of it's all or nothing.

We're either keeping what we got or we're getting rid of literally everyone. And do we know? And forbading them from holding office ever again. Do we know who's going to replace them? No. That'll be a separate election. They're all on. Check back with us in six weeks.

Jim Joyce is running for six minutes. Yeah. It's just a nationwide, it's going to be a Saturday vote. Weekend, baby. Saturday, Sunday vote. Saturday.

Saturday. Pop Boat is the most impressive thing. There's only one issue on the ballot. Get rid of everyone, lifetime ban. Yes or no? Push the button. Or keep everyone. And just keep it as keep it going. Trapped door all these fucking Jews.

Wow. I don't think there's that many. Tommy, you got it. In Congress. You got to slow that down. Well. I'm having a long few days. I'm running on 80.

Yeah, man. That Kanye concert was something else. Yeah, that's crazy. You put in one of the all-time performances. Well, by the way, Kanye has no idea how badly you showed him up in the post game. Can I also just say the fun transition from calling out the Jews and that Kanye concert is something else, huh? So this guy's getting all his ideas for it. Perfect. Perfect segue.

Yeah, man. You were the king of the after party, baby. I've never... Tommy hit... Like, never done a fentanyl lean like that. I've never seen that... I've never seen a human being do that outside of... Ever in my life.

I've never seen it. You ever see... You ever see, like, in sports when their team scores and they go nuts, and then two seconds later, the other team scores. But they're filming the same portion. of the audience and they go back to this. That was me seeing Tommy because I was so excited

to see him and then in two seconds I saw the fentanyl and I'm like oh he's gone. There's no there will be no interaction that he will remember. I'm gonna do it. Show the people. Yo first of all I went over to him I was like dude you got to stand up

straight and he was like I'm standing up straight I'm standing up straight. Here's the problem. You're sideways Chris. All of you are sideways. Cogny's fucking sideways. And it was like I was talking to like, it was like talking to my own kid. It was just like.

Yeah, they refused. I was like, would you just found the balance? And he was like, yep, dude. Yeah, he was leaning on a Pac-Man machine. No, he refused to. I tried to get him to lean on Gallagher. He would not. Oh, it's Gallagher.

Wait, wait, is that, yeah. I was trying to, I was trying to reset my spine many times. Right? So, like, this is the angle I was at. Yes, yes. And then walking straight and talking normal. Yeah. When I finally realized the degree with which my upper body was shifted,

I was so embarrassed. And here's, hold, let me break it down. Your hips were out. You kept sticking one hips. It was to balance the other side of his body. Dude, when I tell you, like, my ribs on just the left-hand side from all this pressure, like, still right now, I couldn't fart. yesterday.

Like pushing it to it. It was impossible. Because you were leaning that hard. I was leaning that hard and also trying to resist the lean. So it's like doing side ads. It's like sleeping on the wrong side, but you were awake and standing. And my left calf. Like when I got up to go pee in the middle of the night,

everything on my left side was fucked. Because I was tilted to the right. And I tried to adjust. Shane said this. Like, dude, I was talking normal. I was alert. my body would walk straight but my top was to the right

dude it was the saddest and craziest thing I've ever accomplished It was unbelievable It was like half a coma Dude it was I was well here's here's what happened I had fucking Vivance I haven't had Vivance in a long time Adderall whatever

And I thought there were 10 milligrams And I was like I'll take 30 over the course of the night And fucking fly you know what I mean I'll take two at the top Get a little speed on me As we're taking the car smokes and pops. The third one,

I'll strike right in the middle of the concert. You know what I mean? That'll get me all the way to the car ride home. They were 20s. I took 60 milligram by vans and I drank through the high. So when you take,

I don't know, Chris, you don't know this, but like when you take cocaine, you just like, you can smoke a whole bottle of whiskey because your brain is not communicating with your body and your body's getting soaked in fucking booze.

So your body started shutting down. So my spine was like, well, for you, my spine got a red guard. For you, half your... And Jim Joyce came in. He was like, he's fine. Your lower half did the booze.

Your upper half did the ador. Dude, it just went like this. Fucking nuts. Ripped you in half. Dude, when he... Also, it's been out. Everybody knows about it. And I don't like it.

I called my girl. My girl stole a chain. She's coming home tomorrow. Charles, she goes, how was the concert? And I hear Shane, Shane's on speakerphone. and she goes,

I heard you were doing like a fentanyl or something and went, what the fuck? And Shane goes, I swear to God, I didn't say anything. I swear to God. And yeah,

no. And she goes, no, Charles told me, but Charles wasn't even there. Bliss wasn't even at the concert. How'd fucking Bliss? All right, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace.

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code, Stuff Island, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's what you got to do. Go to Squarespace. And this episode is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Better Helps, 2026 state of stigma report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. All right? So a lot of people think it's bad to get help, you know, they think it's weak or cowardly or, I don't know, that you shouldn't do it. you'd handle your stuff on your own.

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it's quick they're great at matching you with therapists and let's be honest it'd be nice to be nice to talk with someone if you've got the summer blues blues

yeah it's been people are whispering about the lead yeah it was the talk it was literally the most like dude I wish if there was video of me telling you

how much longer we were going to have to be there. It was literally like I was so sad. Yeah. I got to get the fuck out. He was like, I thought we were going right to the car. How long do you think he won't be? And dude, I literally, it was like that senior scene. We're talking to the boxer and he's like, we're firemen.

We're not afraid in the fire. Ted Ellis. Yeah, but then the boxer would stay up and just fall over. No, he's just leaning. He wrote a dope. He literally rope a dope a dope. He looked like he was one punch away from getting knocked out.

That's what he looked like. The boxer who's still trying, but it's one more flick and he's out. You were one bunch away. Yeah, just right to tell him. Power down. Power down the whole... Get your hands up next to the back man. Just a little breath on one side that hit me over.

I was a wilting flower. That was the first thing he said to me. You can't secret squirrel from fucking say in Antony. Otherwise, that would have been the fuck out of there like an aunt. I said hi to you and you said, I'm fucked on. Yeah, that was the first thing you said. Yeah. I'm not doing good.

Godly. Great concert, though. The concert was unbelievable. Yeah. So fucking good. He really, he really put on a show. He did. Clayter was all the hits.

I've never seen anything like that, honestly. A guy walking across the earth on top of the thing. And the light, the laser light show that accompanied it. Yeah, dude. That'll make sure you don't have epilepsy. There were a couple songs there where I'm like, someone's having a seizure right out in the ground. Yeah.

I can't imagine being on mushrooms in that thing. I would be. Yeah. I would, yeah, I would think that my mind was doing most of it. I've always called, that even started?

Yeah, yeah. I've always called Kanye Space Black anyway, because the way he dresses and the things he does. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. Like, what? Is that too much?

It was just funny. Space black? Yeah. He's always like futuristic and shit. Yeah. So, like, seeing him on the globe and it's always shifted and it made total sense to me. I was on an angle. So who was like, no?

Yeah. That angle didn't hit until the after party, by the way. I was. No, no, no, no. It was when I honestly, I say no. It could have been my fault. Why? I told you to lean on me because you were like, you were losing it.

And that's where you got back up. And you couldn't get back. Yeah, you couldn't get back. Dude, I remember walking away and trying to like realign. I was like, let me just walk this off. I'm going to walk and I'm going to put some pressure going right back up. And then Shane said he's on me walking straight, but on an hour. angle.

But you thought you had it. I thought I was going. Yeah, you're like Jordan Belford driving home. After all those quailets. Yes, dude. Thinking you nailed it. Yeah, my body was one eye. For sure.

Yeah, yeah. Dude, it is the crazy thing about mixing booze and adderol. It was normally... What? Well, I'm just saying, why not... You didn't think you could just do it on booze and just chill? And, like, why did you think you wanted to adderol it up?

I don't know. I wanted to just take a swing and something. You paste it out. wrong. Oh, 100%. Paced it out wrong. Yeah. That's how you learned.

I dropped 40, 40 MGs, and then fucking smoked like 15 fucking drinks in the car. I mean, it was. Yeah, yeah. That should be a thing that people, it should be like the Tour de France. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. France. Yeah. Because Tommy cracked. He was like, he was out the gate flying. And they were like, I don't know if anyone's going to catch him.

He was ahead after day one. And then the Peloton. After day one. The Pelot. Day three, people start catching. up. Tommy's bike's doing this. He's starting to lean on the bike. I love those videos of

like women. They're like, they're almost like falling down and they pre-celebrate. They're just like way too early. And then some fucking Norwegian just crossed the finish. Yeah, you can't celebrate early. You can't celebrate early. I was, I was celebrating early.

But it was worth it. Did you still feel like you had a fun time? I had a great time. Despite the finale. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, I got home. I watched some, you know, television.

It was good. Okay. We're just glad you survived, man. Somehow I got home and watched TV until like four in the morning. Just stayed up. It was brutal. Yeah. Yeah.

And then I slept all day. Everybody had to recover. It's a sensory overload, you know? Yeah. Let alone if you're not on fucking drugs. Woke up and watched the Limerick-Clair hurling semifinal. Jesus Christ. Unbelievable.

Irish hurling? Great. game better than soccer by a mile. Do you know the rules? Kind of. I'm learning it. All right. But that's good that you're still invested. It makes more sense than what I'm seeing in soccer

for sure. Isn't it just lacrosse for retarts? The commentators on ESPN. Yeah. But it's so good. They got sticks and shit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I say retar, I mean like the toughest people out there. It's incredible.

Yeah. It's only like you know, what is it like Scotland, Ireland. I think it's a genuinely beautiful game. I would argue that Gaelic football, everyone, everyone's messaging me about watching Gaelic football. That feels like it's soccer for retards. Isn't that rugby? No, they do like,

they do a thing where they can kick it through uprights, they can score goals. They can pick the ball up. Rugby you can kick. It's not rugby. There's no like getting it over a line and touching it down. There's a genuine soccer goal with uprights.

Hurling has the same thing. It's basically a hurling but with just a soccer ball. Huh. It's, it looks awful. Yeah, it's too much. But apparently everyone's fallen in love with it in Ireland. And like hurling...

Is this a new thing? Gaelic football? No, it's been around for forever, but like Gaelic football is somehow doing better than hurling, which doesn't make any sense to me. Gayleck football looks so fucking stupid. Hurling, at least, it's like they got a special.

instrument. It feels very... That's the one where you throw it up and whack it. Yeah. Yeah. That's... Dude, those dudes are nuts. Dude, it's crazy. That's fun to watch. They're hitting home runs like on the run through uprights. It's crazy. That's pretty sick.

They're hitting balls like 300 feet. Yeah. Like a punter running away from the defense and still kicking. Sprinting, popping a ball up and hitting it through like... I like this. Dude, it's incredible. Yeah, the long snapper throws one a little low and he's got to run outside the wing. He's like, oh, fuck, off, fuck, oh, fuck.

This is what we're trying for. And he bombs a 65 yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's a, it kind of is a mix of baseball and lacrosse. Yeah. It's perfect. Yeah. It's a perfect game.

Do you think it's coming to the States? It's going to be hard for that to expand. Yeah, it's too wacky and crazy. I think we're pretty set in all of our sports. Yeah, we're done. My buddy plays, uh, ultimate frisbee. And there, there's like whispers about them trying to get that in the Olympics. Yeah.

But I don't know. Dude, they got flag football out there now. Yeah, but that's a, you know, an offshoot of the real thing. Right, right. Dude, ultimate frisbee is fun to watch. It's pretty sick. Those boys are. It's fun to play.

I played it once and I was like, I'll never talk shit on this again. Yeah. Like the stop and go, the speed, all of it. It's great. And these fucking, these dudes I can't play any other sport can. The ones that can throw it this way is insane to me. It's hot. I've only ever thrown a Frisbee regular.

I can hit this. Can you throw it 200 yards? No. On a dime? No. Yeah. No, those guys are unbelievable. It's crazy, dude.

In the basket, on a tilt. Yep. Dude, it's... There's Frisbee golf now. That's a huge one. Frisbee golf is cool. Yep. Frisbee golf.

No, I like it, dude. Have you ever played it? It's fun. Yeah. It's miserable. Here comes another... I mean, I played it with good company. I just didn't enjoy...

It's not a frisbee. It's like a little... disc. Well, there's multiple discs. There's like a driver disc. There's a different weights. None of them ever get close to a real frisbee. And then you're just,

you're like, yeah, it's weighted. Would you, what if they let you play with a real frisbee? I still wouldn't like it. Show up with a bowling ball. It's this big.

I brought my own ball actually. It just takes up the whole lane. You can't use that. Yeah, it turns like you hate Frisbee. Yeah, that's okay though. Yeah,

but I think we are pretty set in the, the sports that we got. I don't see like a new one taking hold. Anytime soon anyway. I keep hoping lacrosse. I keep hoping lacrosse makes a move. Soccer is light years from being a game that it's just. That we rally around.

The game is so broken. I have some soccer buddy, hardcore soccer friends. And I do agree with them on this. The whole red card balligan thing. Yeah. It is, I do think that put more pressure on us now that we got them back.

Trump made the call. Yeah, yeah. Whereas if we had left it, how it was, then maybe the world would have rallied around us and be like, man, I got to work for this one. I agree. And we still might have lost, but I think the players would have been more fired up for sure to be like, now we got the chip on our shoulder. Now we're definitely the underdog.

Yeah. There's not as much pressure. Everybody's rooting for us to win on this one. They really didn't have the same energy as the other games. They didn't come out. No, no. They were freaked out. They were freaking out there.

freaked out, but like, I mean, Tillman still hit that goal, which was a fucking incredible. That guy's a freak, dude. Two free kicks in the same World Cup as you're a mutant. Back-to-back games. That's sick, man. It was unbelievable. And that's Cortois, dude. That guy's a real deal keeper that he smoked that on.

But it, it, it was, look, the whole, the whole thing is just too broken. It's like, you need to, like, you need to kill everyone at the top of FIFA. And you need to, like, start over from scratch. We got to do the vote. The Congress. Kill everyone. in FIFA. Elect new people.

First of all, the automatic nature of the, like, disqualified for the next game is... It's pretty funny. Ridiculous. Yeah.

It's ridiculous. It could be the... You can get two yellows in consecutive games. That's a red. And get kicked out of the next game. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking ridiculous.

Yeah. It's like, what are you doing? Did you see Trump's speech? You sound pretty... similar. He was taking care of all this. Dude, I mean, look. He goes, I understand being eliminated for the current game. But the next game hasn't even played yet.

I mean, he's just learning soccer for the first time. He's not wrong. It's so funny to imagine him just like, no, he picks the phone up, just calls FIFA. So like, we're doing something about this, right? That's how, that's how, see, get me a present of FIFA on the line. That's how obviously wrong it is

is the nation's biggest retard is even like, what are you talking about? I mean, how could you not it does imply that he's like a rabid animal that's going to do it again or something

unless you give him a game off to think about his actions? It's also just like intent. Intent. Yeah, you've got to control the animal. There's no intent. Punch him in the back of the head.

In any of these calls. Right. Dude, if you if you intentionally shove someone to the ground. Yeah. That should be a red card over accidentally.

Zadon. Zadon. The headbutt. Yeah. That everybody knows about that. Yeah. You know about that. I know Zadon. See, everyone knows about the headbook.

That's the cool thing. It's how crazy that was. Yeah. I love that. That one, you got to chuck that guy for a couple of games. Let him blow off some steam. But I'm saying even like a minor.

And he had like a Korean lady's skull. Like it's a giant fucking red. Yeah, man. Dude, like he said it right in. to the chess plate. And it was an Italian guy. Those are the worst of the worst with the flopping, you know?

Yeah. Crack that guy, stern them open. Yeah. I can't tell the difference to anyone, to be honest, with you flop. Any of the,

I'm not even... Any of the teams, you mean? Yeah, yeah. I'm not like defending Italians, but like, they're all the same. They're all... Yeah, yeah. Oh, the flopping...

Every European... I mean, this is back in what, the way they flopped? Yeah, it's like the most dramatic shit in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's all the same. But back there, I think it was... Americans do it.

everybody does. It's pathetic. If you grab your face, you're not hurt. Red card. Yeah. I like it. I like it. Yeah. I like this rule.

Nobody in the history of real injuries. Yeah. grabs their face. Has grabbed their face. You grab the thing that's hurt to try to hold it together. Or you push away from it. Or you try to get away from your own body. You push people push away from it.

You freak out. You freak out. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody grabs their face until they like. reconcile with the trauma. And then they go, I don't want to see people,

I don't want people to see me cry. You've seen the, my season's over, next year's going to be tough to get back. And it's this. Yeah, yes, yes. You've seen the key and peel

with the celebrations and the refs waiting for him. He goes up to God. They should do that to see if he touches his face. Yeah, you're 100%. Just leaning in with the card ready to go if he grabs his face. Yeah.

If you roll around. Yeah. Like you're on fire. Or grab your face. You're out. Red card. Out for the next game. Yeah.

Nobody who's ever gotten injured has rolled around. I agree with that. Because rolling around would make it worse. Of course. You fucked your knee up. Yes. You don't want to move. You want to stay as still as possible.

Yes. Yeah. You got to start. You got to change the culture of soccer. It's also not that hard. You got to change one step at a time, right? you get one flop. If you flopped once,

if I find you flopping twice, gone. Oh, you're going to wean them off the flopping. Yes. Yeah. You still get one. Yeah. So one flop is a yellow card. Yeah.

You flop twice. You're fucking out. You get one beer. Gone. You're gone. Yeah, one beer. You're absolutely gone. You have to,

it has to be serious. There has to be ramifications, and I agree with you. Fines. Yeah. That's the, like, what is this extra time bullshit? To take the extra time

should never be a thing. ever. Well, let's do one thing at a time here, one thing at a time. Well, I'm saying that's how you eradicate the extra time is going all right, you're penalized. Yeah. Unless you show me, you can't come back on the field. If you fall down, you can't come back on. You're gone.

Yeah. That's it. If you put that in place, they won't fall. I promise you. It's the behavior you set of us. Because the coaches want them on the fucking field. They're the best players. They're not going to fall. They're not going to take a fake hit. Or just get a stopwatch.

You know, talk about being from the 18-100. Well, they do have them. They just... No, no. But, like, I'm sure the game was invented when there was just like a clock on the steeple. And you had to run it off of that. But like...

One! Dude, I can't even see it from here, man. It's five? Let's see five. Yeah, yeah. No, but we did a bunch of stuff. Let's add some time. Let's do seven?

Is everyone cool with seven? Yeah, yeah. All right. Just giving some... It's supposed to like an 83 second count. Right. Add it to the tidal. Now you've got a digital clock.

Just stop it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, exactly. No, it should be a stopping and starting clock like every other sport that exists. And then you can just play the actual time. But they want it to keep going. They want it to keep going.

Why? It's so funny because, yeah, they really do. There is drama in which I do get. There is drama going, it's plus seven. Sometimes it goes to nine. And then it's like, and you get real. And then you know they're going to get like three more chances.

I don't mind that. The ref can feel one team getting close and he's like, yeah, let him go one more, man. If you genuinely need the extra time because you're actually injured, I will fuck with the extra time. I'll fuck with that. But it's all fake extra time.

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quince.com slash stuff. Do it. Their clothes are great. Tommy wears this stuff. Beautiful. For how shitty the game is. No, I know. That you need to add some extra mystery.

We're just trying to help. Imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine, we're just trying to have a good time, man. Dude, imagine your one. This guy's flipping out and the dance, man. You know what your pub this talk? No, map this on, map this on to any other sport you like.

You're watching the NBA finals. And there's the last possession. And they're down by two or whatever. And they're going, no, let them finish the possession. Yeah. Fucking no. No, I know what I mean? See, we're trying to have a good deal.

I could see Chris, like if the U.S. had one hit a buzzer-beater goal yesterday and won. Everyone would be jumping up and down. I could still see Chris be like, we shouldn't have time to do that. Yeah, yeah. I do genuinely get. I'll get disgusted by my own team. I have done it before. I've done it before.

Where you win and you just go, this is it right? This is a shame. This is it right. How do I go on rooting? Yeah. I can't support you guys the next round. You know, because now my integrity's on the line.

Your own personal integrity. Now I've got to lie about what I believe in order to support this group. I mean, this is my fentanyl Lane story. I shouldn't have been out there. You know what I mean? No one deserved to see that. That's where I feel, yeah, the balligan thing, it's like... It's a great game.

It's a great game for four or seven minutes. I honestly think Trump should have been more involved in the whole, World Cup. If he had that kind of power. Give us a two-goal lead. You should be like, we're doing the World Cup and we're going to show you the right way to do it. No extra time. There's no extra time

where you stop watch. That would have started a war. If you grab your fucking face, you get kicked out of the tournament. Not like... Set home. Not next game. Yeah. Gone. I agree with this. Gone. I agree with this.

All right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, you got to set up. some fucking goals. You got to, yeah, you got to get in there and just start because they don't know how broken their game is. Well, they start off being fucking gay children. This is us. And they flop as

a five-year-old. Well, people need help. Then you flop is a There's a parallel of soccer rules and democracy that we're trying to force on the rest of the world. The balligan thing should have been, the whole

world should have gone Yeah, that is ridiculous. We suspend him for the next game. Yeah. They don't think like us. Well, they don't think like that because the camera pans to the audience and there's some fat fucking mongloids from Minnesota with their faces painted, screaming USA.

And everybody wants to fucking hate us. Yeah, they think that's all of us. Because they should. Right. Because we win and everything else and they're like, fuck you. This is our only sport. that you have no shot at winning. Yeah, but they should have empowered Trump

to review all red cards. He gets the... They should have had him like... Put it across his desk, he gets a look at it. Yeah, yeah, that should have been like... He either signs it or doesn't. Executive order, just be like, nah, that was fine.

Yeah. He gets to review the play. He gets to look at the play. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Dude, the idea that you accidentally step on someone's ankle in a fucking foot sport when you get a red card, it's like,

That's not a penalty in any sport. They've got it backwards. The guy's grabbing a guy's back, jumping in and heading it, and they're like, no, you can do that. Because he didn't use his feet. What do you mean? I'm joking from the... I'm so pissed off. The fuck are you talking about?

Slide one joke in. Chris just knocks me out. Chris just forgets what we're doing here. He's locked in right there. Yeah, he's acting like, this is Congress right now, dude. Yeah, dude. No, I just can't. That's a panel.

He has the floor in the 1800s right now. No, because he's such a beautiful game. The laws of the sport of soccer. Chris, take your wig off, man. Take a second. Just take a breath. Take a breath, man. You're sweating up there.

I have the podium. It's such a beautiful game. I just want them to get it right. He's got to get it right, man. It's so fixable. Shit, even in football. Who was that fat, fucking piece of shit from the Redskins that, like, clean it that dude in the face?

Oh. He got suspended. He tried to like, didn't Antonio Brown do that to a punter? Or somebody did that to a punter? No, he was a de-I-Mend. I think it's happened more than once. Well, this guy was like the most famous ever.

He was like, I don't know, he had a huge contract. He was like a stud player and then stopped playing because he had like an attitude problem. The offensive linens helmet popped off and he just cleaned him. He just went, that's awesome.

I was probably a Nidamanan Sue or something. No. that he was uh lions no that guy lasted a long time he was crazy yeah he was he had a stump like week he had a week of stumps yeah he got my buddy john solon well the now the big the bigger news was messy did a very similar thing the cleat to the thing and nothing not even a yellow yeah i mean but he's too big to fail he's too big you can't you can't take messy out of the tournament thank god someone feels it you know what i mean messy could like gouge someone's eyes out yeah just be like wow yellow

Well, they throw out a different player. Get rid of an Argentinian bench warmer. Like, all right, you're obviously out. Messi, try not to do that again. Dude, could you imagine? Could you imagine? Like, I feel like I've seen it happen where there's like, there's like a World Cup semi-final and the best

players not playing. You're like, ah, semifinals. Maybe. I know Luis Suarez got a red card one year in one of the sickest games ever against Ghana. Because he, blocked a definitely a goal with his hands.

I don't know if you saw the highlight. It's one of the greatest games ever. Yeah, because it was going in. And so he just blocked it with his hands. That's a red guard. You can't do that because it's in the goal. Like if you handball outside the box, it's still a free kick, but he just blocked a blatant goal.

Dude, not the goalie. You got to do it, right? Because you're not awarded a goal. You get a penalty. So penalty, he's thrown out of the game. They get a penalty. the Ghanaian guy misses the penalty. There you go.

So then they go to, I guess they went to extras, and then Uruguay won in penalty kicks. Well, they also have that wrong. The penalty kicks? Yeah, if a guy blocks an obvious goal with his hand. Yeah. It's award the goal. Goaltending?

Like basketball? Yeah. Yeah. If it was on its way in and someone got, a guy hits it with his hand, that's a goal. You just give them the goal. They do that in hockey.

Look to hockey. It's a very ball. Don't lie. system where it's like, no, shoot for it. And then if he misses, then no goal. It's pretty funny. You can't, you can't make blocking a goal with your hand advantageous at all. Well, but they did. I mean, they threw the guy out of the game. So now they have one less player and you get the penalty kick. You make the penalty and they're down a guy. Now you're here. But you got to make that penalty kick. But that's what I'm saying. So it confers a potential advantage. Yeah, yeah.

You're already going to give up the goal. Yes. So why not block it with your hand and see what happens? Guys, we moved on. Sorry. To big black guys, cleeding faces. I got him. Sorry, Tommy.

Albert Hainsworth. Yeah, yeah, I remember Haines. Yeah. He was with the Tennessee Titans when he did it in 2006. Big Al Hainsworth. He ripped the helmet off of Dallas Cowboys Center, Andre Gouard, and stomped his exposed face with his cleat that required 30 stitches.

Yeah, I believe that. And he only got five games suspended. which at that time is unprecedented so soccer this guy actually hits this guy's ankle you're like you're out of game this dude saw an exposed face

you could kill a guy Albert Haynesworth oh my god he's 380 pounds and just cleated a dude's fucking face yeah that's three years in jail did they say what the other guy did that's assault with a deadly weapon 100% yeah it's like hitting somebody in the face with a bottle

so maybe America's not perfect that's where we Maybe we got some cleaning up to do. Let's take care of our house. Let's tend our own guard. Let's clean our house up first. Before we start telling everybody else. Trump's got some homework at home.

Health care is still out of control. You're going to pay a lot for that. Yeah, that's realign. You know, they're doing pretty good with that. That's realign here. God damn. Look at that. Are we doing too much sports talk?

Yeah. Are we going to get hammered for that? That's a lot of sports talk. Who cares? But it's the world goddamn cup. We can talk more con. The whole world. The whole.

I don't have any other Kanye stories. Well, we know you don't. Yeah. Uh. I was going to try home. I know. You're a nut job, man. Yeah.

I didn't. I'm just glad we got you there. And then I was on a show with you the next day. Yeah. The recovery time on you. It's incredible. Yeah. The turnaround.

Yeah. It was a great time. You were right back. Yeah. And then we were having beers. the next night. 100%. But you did dial it back

because normally you go with the hard stuff and you were like, I'll have a high life as well, please. Yeah, that was after the show. I had hard stuff before the show. I understand. But it's just as long as you're, you know,

get a water in there. I had like three double men scouts before the show. I'm sure. That's unbelievable. This guy's a freak. You never get the impulse to go. I need to take a day.

I need to take a day. Soccer is a very interesting. I need to take one day. Yes. I took it. And just cleanse. Yesterday. You know what, though?

You know what, you know what? Anytime he's not drinking, he adds that to extra time. Well, we're not going to have four more later. Extra booze time. Extra booze time.

That's so funny. Not drinking is literally delaying a game. Tommy without a beer's doing this. Without a drink. Tommy, get up, man. Get up. My whole life is a red card. I wake up to a ref of the red card in my face every morning.

Yeah, but then it gets rescinded every time. Trump calls, dude. You get right back on the field. Yeah, I text Trump, so you get in there. Free your boy. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have a nice, easy night tonight.

I'm going to make myself some dinner. I'm solo, just me and my dog. Nice. Yeah. Take it for, it's been nice. It's trouble with a capital T. What do you mean? Just me and the dog?

To be in the dog. Just me and the dog. Just get in the cage. Yeah. Dad's got to play Oculus. I don't want you freaking out out of here. Dude, the murder doc consumption has got to be.

It's the fur. It's the roof. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. I'm going to start watching some of those. I'll send you my favorites. I did a couple of days on a weekend in a hotel just watching.

Yeah, whatever it was, first 48. One of the famous ones, some guy. That's easy, piece. He owned a boating company, and then he would get people, scam them to get on the boat, then kill them, and then tie rocks to him, and now they're down at the bottom of the ocean and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Good boy. They caught him. Yeah. Dude, I tried to watch. Yeah, he left like a business. car or something in somebody's car and then they were just like well i wonder who that belongs to kind of murder has business cars too he swim

no trying to get my social media going i need to followers i keep killing them all i kill more people but i nobody follows me yeah i don't know about my boat i need to know about my boat yeah dude I watched maternal instinct So good What's this It's like the craziest fucking bitch in the world It's the new hot doc

Okay And I was also trying to like Get into it Okay Nightmare dude You didn't like it? It's horrible Yeah

It's hard Dude this lady is a full psycho She's a psychopath The sociopaths She's got all the paths Let's do another one Yeah Let's load up for this

Yeah I might I might take one of those She uh Tell us the story Chris we did on the last episode but yeah give me a synopsis she she basically

moves moves to this town picks up I would say she picks up just like a guy who's like a pig farmer right just living in the middle of nowhere like northeast Texas like Texarkana

ish area New Boston I believe it is and basically just like moves in with this guy right away starts talking about how she's got like family money and stuff and she's trying to like inherit a bunch of money but her mom's being a bitch and blah blah blah blah blah basically just latches on to this guy's life immediately like moves in within three months

she's like moved into this guy's house and she's like I'm pregnant. Yeah. And he's like, all right. What are we doing? No, no. He was just like, all right. I'm like whatever.

He's like pig farming and she's like, I got millions and millions of dollars coming. She buys him like a brand new truck. I don't know how she fucking does that. So the guy's just like, okay. Then she just fakes a pregnancy for nine months. Okay.

And it's just like, I don't want to have sex. How do you fake that? Is she like wearing fat stuff? Yeah. Yeah, she was also fat. She was also fat. She had,

she came in. She came in with the starter pack. Yeah, she had a fog of war. She had a stable balance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. So it wasn't obvious. But she wasn't fat for that area. She was just like pleasantly plumped. But not enough to hold a baby and then not wear it. You know what I mean? So she keeps getting these fucking silicone pregnancy packs.

It wasn't falling out at prom and she didn't know. Yeah. And because of that, she wouldn't let her husband like fuck her. So this guy's like, we just started dating for three months. Also just like it's dude like, you know, it's not like us, you know, they're not around all day. The guy's a fucking pig farmer. Yeah. Yeah. He's out in the fields.

He's working. You know what I mean? He's not seeing her that much. Yeah. This lady's already like, you know, like a barnacled, hardcore barnacled. Yeah. And so he's just like. Well, that makes the pregnancy thing easier.

If she only sees him occasionally, she can just buy a new fats every six weeks. Yeah. And then her, like, his friends. But the problem is she's not buying. She's not changing her face. So women that size, they blow up everywhere. Their ankles are exploding. They're leaking.

When they're that big, they get fat everywhere. And she just kept, like, putting another inch on a belly. Are you calling your lady on that if her ankles aren't big enough? Yeah, I want to see. Yeah, your nipples better be flying out the sides of your armpits. Okay, dude. And he never, like, didn't they? Dude, I think he was too stressed.

I think he was just like... No, I think he knew a little bit more than he did. Maybe. I think he was also stressed because his family and friends start coming around to him being like, yo, we looked into it. This bitch is psycho. She can't be pregnant because she had a hysterectomy like when she was like 20. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. So she already has two kids. She doesn't even have the equipment. Physically impossible. And she's like, hilarious. People are calling the doctors. And they're like not allowed to say. Right. Because it's like hip up. But they're like, you should trust your instincts on this. They're winking at them. If I were you, yeah, I would just keep digging.

They literally said that. He literally said trust your answer. Yeah. But dude, I think he was just like, like, I'm broke. I'm fucking formed pigs. I've got to come home to one more at home. Pregnant. She's not pregnant, man.

She's like crazy. He's like, all right, dude. Like, fucking pass me a beer. I'm not going to confront this lady. Holy Christmas. And then she kills her friend who's all. also pregnant, cuts the baby out of her stomach. Yes. And then tries to drive to the hospital with it.

Yeah. Oh, to say, I gave birth. In the car. He's claiming. Incredible. Dude, it's absolutely bananas. It's so good. I'm going to rewatch it. And these people, I mean, God love them. The doctor's still like, trust your instincts. If you think that's your kid, I mean, I don't know. Dude, I, like, that's really gross. This little bit of my, like, East Coast bullshit coming out, but, like,

The funeral for the girl that got killed, the husband is there in just jeans. And you're just like, these people are. All right. So these guys are kind of adult. They're kind of doing this to themselves by not being. No, the guy. They cut to the trial. On top of the science. No, the guy's actually smart. I mean, he seems capable. The guy that's the boyfriend. Yeah. Seems like he's not. He's not the. He's not the country bumpkin that we're painting. He just turned in the other cheek.

He's bumpkin. He's not a waterhead. But he's not a waterhead. That's what I'm saying. I think he was just like, whatever. I think he was, let me just... Look, I think he got the month two or three, and he was like, look, we had a good run here. I don't really want to be with you. And she's like, I'm getting $7 million dollars and... He's waiting on the money

a little bit. And I'm pregnant. And he was like, who... All right, four weeks. All right. So push it. I guess that was the thing is she hit him with that. the house, she was going to buy in like this huge property. Yeah.

$20 million property. And she like, she bought the farm. No, she put like an offer in and everything. But obviously the people who are like, we're going to show us. They were like,

yeah, we need to wait for the like wire to come through. She's like, yeah, I'm working on it. And she had like was sending email. She made up like a million people and was sending emails. And then when that fell through, she was like, I'm pregnant. And he was like, all right man

I gotta go wrestle pigs Jesus Christ for the rest of the day so whatever and then he would get home and be like do you want to fuck

and she'd be like I'm gross and he'd be like well I'm gonna go drink with my friends right you know he was just let it go

let it go he let it go and then one day gets called into the police office police station and then like your girlfriend

killed a woman cut a baby out of his stomach. We don't think the baby's yours. And he goes, he goes, turns out one of your pigs got out of the pain. Yeah, that's what's right. We're working with pigs all day. And he goes, he goes,

damn. See, I don't like this guy's, like, he's just so nonchalant about that. Well, he was, but, no, she's slowly, what you don't see is she's slowly beating him down. She just eats away at him. Yeah.

Okay. The energy of this bitch is like, not from earth. Yeah. She's always coming up with a scheme for attention. Yeah, yeah. She's a big schemer. Everything was all about attention.

Yeah, man. If you're dating like a psycho bitch for nine, ten months, and then the cops go, she killed someone, you know. That's what I liked about how genuine is react. He wasn't like, oh, go what? He was like, he did this. He slowly distances from the injury. Yeah, yeah.

He just went, oh my God. And then he goes, he literally just goes, I guess I should have listened to my friends. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty. Not enough people say that, though, and need to do that.

More people can listen to their fucking friends. We were talking about this the other night. That's a whole lesson. You got a succubis and your buddies can smell it and you can't. Listen to your friends. fucking friends. Yeah. Yeah, she sucks. I just happen to one of ours. Cops have to go through that, yeah, a lot. When they deliver, like, that's how you know someone's definitely not involved in a crime. For sure. I'm sure they know the reactions,

the faking. Yeah. Well, they're like, the flopping. That's flopping emotionally. Instead, someone just goes, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like, right. Yeah, this guy had nothing to do with this. Yeah, I've seen the one with that lady who killed either her husband or the husband's friend or somebody and knew they were going to, and she was like rehearsing her reaction. And she did this whole collapse cry. Yeah. And they're like, well, this lady clearly did. Yeah.

No, that guy just went. Yeah. Yeah. I guess yes, you're right. If anything that saved him. Because his reaction was just very natural and genuine. Yeah. A man who's been beaten to a bull emotionally.

Yeah. And he's got nothing left in the tank. He probably couldn't overreact. Fucking Christ. He said nothing left. Yeah. She did what? Jesus, dude.

To cut the baby out. Dude, it was horrific. To... It was absolutely horrific. Surely there's other ways you could have... You could have tried to do that. Get a pig fetus or something first. Kill a pig first.

She went there with like a scalpel and I think some like, yeah, it was crazy. Oh my God. She cut the placenta out. She brought the placenta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean...

And they brought a doctor and he's like, she didn't have a baby. Yeah, yeah. Her pussy looks normal. Yeah. It wasn't all blown out. Exactly.

Yeah. She wasn't thinking about that. Didn't back. You got to maim yourself. You ever see the prestige? Yeah. Guy chops his own finger off, man. True.

You got to live the act. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. She should have like, yeah, just been shoving things.

She should have been sitting on those... A fire hydrant. Yeah. You got to fuck a fire hydrant. You want to, you want someone to believe this lie? Right. Jump on the sack.

It's hard to plan a murder, Tom. It's hard to plan. I knew I was forgetting something. I forgot to turn off the stove. Oh, my God. That's how they got me. I forgot to sit on a fire hydrant. I think it's hard for people that...

It was on the list. Got to check that list next time. I'm doing what? 40 years? Oh, my God. I forgot it. My mother's-in-laws. Should have made a copy

You're not going to check You always forget something You always forget something Shouldn't have made business cards Should have been handed those things out That's crazy Should have used my real name I just wanted a following

I just wanted to sell tickets on the road You got something to plug baby I do man Let's go I'm Nashville and Cleveland Back to back In like two weeks 23rd I think is Nashville

It's a Thursday. Lab at Zanis. Great club. Great club. And then hilarities in Cleveland. We're due two nights there. Please go to us. Another great club.

It'll be a fun time. Yeah. Well, that's Sainey's in September, I think. Fuck yeah. You're going to love it. Yeah, I know. You're going to have a great time. Yeah.

Beauty. Zany's Chicago is one. I'm doing that in October, just since you brought it up. Yeah. Right before Halloween. I'm in St. Louis? Yeah, baby. To a Indianapolis.

Yeah. Helium? Yeah. Nice. So come check that out. Chris O'Connor.com. Also, check out, look at this. Check out Patreon.com slash Stuff Island. Yeah, we already talked about the New York episodes, right?

Yeah, yeah, but they'll come out. Yeah. They're getting edited. They're in the bay. Yeah. We did a bunch of... Yeah, you guys were... New York cooks.

We're on a tear up there. Yeah. Yeah, we ran it.