Stuff Island - One Star Reviews - Stuff Island #181

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Unlock a healthier and easier way to eat by using Promo code "Stuff Island" at checkout for 15% off your first order at huel.com Harrys.com/stuff to get a trial shaving kit to change the way you shave. Harry's provides quality razors for a great price! Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code STUFFISLAND at shopmand.com! #mandopod Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dude, dude, it has come to pass. I, dude, I am, I'm going to call her out. I did this episode's public. I don't give a fuck. Let's go. Dr. Reed. Yeah. At Animal Specialists of Austin or whatever it is.

Yeah. Pet Specialists of Austin. Unfortunately, it's not like calling out Spirit Airlines. Dr. Reed? I'm getting a free fucking flight. Let me tell you something. How can we make this up to you? My dog has to get sick to get something from Dr. Reed. Pet specialist of Austin, it's a good place. They've got great doctors there. Dr. Reed is criminally retarded. Criminally retarded. Let's go. Literally, so not even 24 hours after yesterday when I was bitching about that fucking. That's our Patreon episode. Go to our Patreon.com see Chris Luce's fucking skull. Yes the fucking glucose monitor. Yeah. That is

literally it's again this is a plug-and-play thing. You literally just stamp it on the skin and then I get like minute by minute updates of my cats blood sugar levels, right? And we're giving him insulin doses. So this is like mission critical. This stupid fucking cunt told me that it wasn't necessary. Right? She told me to take it off.

Cause she was like, you guys are obsessed with this thing. Cause it wasn't working. You can hear all about it on the page room. It wasn't working. 24 hours later, dude, this guy, one shot, we gave him one shot of insulin this morning. This afternoon at 4 o'clock he's borderline hypoglycemic. We had to put honey on his gums to get his blood sugar back up. Damn. Right? So if I didn't have this monitor, okay, so if I didn't have this monitor, he could have died. Then I'm two hours, four o'clock, I'm two hours away from giving him guaranteed lethal dose of insulin without having these numbers in front of me.

He'd be dead right now. This is a lawsuit. This woman is fucking retarded. And she, I had four phone calls with her, four phone calls with her, and she wouldn't take ten seconds to call over to give me a prescription for like I said yesterday The equivalent of a fucking stud finder. Yeah, this thing is we weren't asking for a morphine drip. Yeah. Yeah, this is just basic shit Fuck you for real

Five days dude five days. I gotta like ride the wave of like almost this cat dying. First of all, she was the one day one who was like, you should just kill it. It's like, it's not gonna live. It's like, fuck you. Wire to wire, this woman is a fucking grim reaper. Yeah, it might be a great Kevorkian type situation. Everyone else there, truly wonderful.

Honestly, great, honestly great. They like did a bunch of, when she was not around,. Honestly, great. Honestly, great. They like did a bunch of when she was not around. It was really great. Yeah. But I swear to God, Dr. Reed, you're on Stuff Islands list, dude. Fuck her, dude, for real. I'll stop by there with a fake sick cat with a blanket over it. Just fucking shriveled in the face.

A little choked chop. Criminally retarded. You could probably say something and get your bill taken care of dude again the fucking down interrupt me You got to be fucking kidding me. It's like you call today No, no no we called me talked to the doctor that we liked so I didn't want to like fucking unload on her Yeah, I mean this is the this is the woman who's human enough to be like, you'd unload on me. What? Like unload on some stranger. Wait till Tommy comes over.

Beat the breaks off his kids. Well, you can't yell like this in front of certain people because they think it's about them. I know. Certain people. Women always have nine one in their pocket waiting to hit the second one, you know? I'm telling you, man, there's like, you know, I don't want to make it about something that it isn't, but it's like, for real, there's something wrong with women of our generation that they think like fucking everything is the patriarchy.

And they've been told that no one listens to them. So when they're actually fucking retarded and you have to correct them, they think it's the patriarchy. They don't realize that they're so stupid. They're incapable of asking a question. Ask me about my experience, because I've been through this before.

Don't tell me I don't need a fucking monitor that saved his life the last time yeah that's why there's clips of like tell me I'm wrong this is some fucking maniac holding up a sign just to fire up these bitches these purple bang bitches get fucking nuts and this is some guy holding a sign going here's the facts tell me why I'm wrong and they go and you let them just dribble on I do hate No, I know why I hate that I hate it too, but it's brilliant because they get caught in their own fucking web like a drunk spider Fucking nonsense and you go got ya next and there's another dude that does it with like porn stars. It's just a bunch of horse

Yeah, instead of women trying to be entitled. They're like, it's our body our choice Yeah, tell me why you think this is a good choice for your children in the future and like well They just fucking explode. Yeah. I well I hate that. I hate those guys so much Anyone whose date who's like who's making a living debating? Seven I know 18 year old girl. Yeah can honestly him and dr. Reed can both fucking it's a red flag for sure I think they're all fishing. I Think he's going which one of these moved to Miami Where you debate young yeah, but girls in Miami go to hell. Yeah. Go straight to hell. You're not going to do Hampshire.

Yeah. There's a reason you're going to Miami. You want to put her head through a fucking headboard of a fucking Hyatt. Yeah. God damn it. Where do those guys like, imagine seeing one of those guys out on the town? Like, how do you not just beat the shit out of you? How does every single one of those guys not getting his nuts clipped off?

A hundred percent. Every time he runs into another... There's no men anymore. There's no men. And this is why the women are trying to act like men. And one of these women that acts like a man tries to come to an old school man. They're like, wow, he's scary that Mr. O'Connor trying to save his cat while I'm trying to kill it. Yeah, dude. She just needs a good pound in the ass I don't know what she's a good anal coming it

I don't know if she needs God or she needs to like take mushrooms or something But it's like I'm sick. There's an absence the Lord of two more. Yeah, there's a good fucking orgasm Oh my god, this woman she's not getting beat out 24 hours. This wasn't like I had to wait six months for her to be criminally wrong. Yeah. 24 hours. Yeah, he would again, if the first dose hadn't made him hypoglycemic and die, then the dose I would have delivered this afternoon, if I didn't have the thing that she refused to give me, he'd be dead. It's like, how stupid. It's like this, the advice that she gave where it's like, you don't need that thing. It's so

stupid. It's, it's bad advice in any situation. Dude, it's like walking without looking is stupid yeah what are you talking about yeah she's like it's for people it doesn't it's not it's not like it's not gonna be perfectly accurate it's like yeah all right seeing in color is better than seeing light and shadow but it's better than fucking being blind dude this is why you got to go to let's go mass lesbian farms like lesbian farming for for animals to take care of. Lesbians are caretakers. Yeah, true. You got to go into the country. True. I've heard this like genuinely true. And we took our dog to get, you

know, fixed. Oh, yeah. And then we got her an issue with her. Everybody knows. But they were saying go south. You gotta go go south or go way up north. Anywhere around the city combines, they run it like an ER for humans. Where like, let's say an ER for war. Where somebody comes in and his arm's blown off and he's bleeding out, it's like, well we got a guy over here who needs more attention.

They don't give specific attention to that person. Yeah, too far gone. It's like, well, we got a guy over here needs more attention. They don't give specific attention to that person. Yeah. Too far gone. Too far gone. Yeah. It's like, no, it's not solid. Fucking leg off. Dude, put a rubber band around his tiny little shoulder and saw his fucking leg off. I'll hold them. I'm just saying, give me whiskey. Put a whiskey on his company. If you live in Texas and your cat or dog or your hamster is in trouble No, dude, I will say hold on. I

Told you I know I told you I told you dude the one place that I my girl and I recommended to you and your Girl is the place it is the place but you needed a specialist He's a specialist and there's others only so many specialist places and this place is good. Just dr. Reed is Look, I don't know how she is in terms of medicine But I know every time her thinking trespassed on stuff that I know Yeah, she was maybe the dumbest person I've ever met in my life. Yeah. Yeah and a real reactionary too Yeah, you know what I mean? I got a screenshot of a hamster in a cone To give to people when they're like really upset

My dad's like Tourette screaming about his kidney being I got this It's kind of cute. I would love to put her in a cone. I'd love to put fucking your girl. No Put reading a cone. Yeah, and just I would honestly love to give her a lethal dose of insulin. Yeah I like this dude. Let's go. I would love to put her in a cone. Yeah. And then walk up to her and just inject her with so much that like, yeah.

Bro I said this. You can't communicate. Not too long ago but like in the 90s we always had one bad ass bitch in the group that you could just sick like a rabbit dog on a bitch that was out of pocket. Yeah. You just have one street girl that has like... Also lesbians, also another thing lesbians do.

Yeah, old school, that's 90s lesbians. I talk, 2020s lesbians want to take care of pets. The evolution is going backwards. 90s lesbians truly wanted to like start on the football team. And this bitch had like five older brothers that were street fighters. The Haley's, dude. I always talk about the Haley's. She was a bad motherfucker. And some girl just gets out of out of pocket at a line. You sick her. Yeah, I'm not gonna talk this girl out of anything. She's just gonna break your fucking nose. Second glorious

bastards. The hole is just a bathroom of an Irish pub. The cave. Bring out the walrus. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a bear, Joe, it's a bear Italian like, bring it out. I don't know what it is about lesbians, but I always think of them as fat arctic animals. Yeah. Well, no notes. God damn it. I do. You should have seen me pacing around the house.

So did you update the mechanism? Then was it the whole argument we had last night? Yeah, she didn't want to replace it because it was faulty. Yeah, it's like a thing that you, in my opinion, completely unnecessarily need a prescription for. And she refused to write the prescription and told us we didn't need it and that we just had to get used to giving him the shots.

This is so far objectively incorrect that it's hard to understand. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Every veterinarian assistant, the desk, any person I've ever dealt with with my dog has been the sweetest, most caring, most educated. Both the vet and the ER, both places we have, has been like,

here's the deal. They talk to you like you're putting your dad down. Yes. And they go, here's our options. Dude. And they're very professional. Yeah. So having someone say, you don't need this. It's like, no, that they're very professional. Yeah. So having someone say this is you don't need this.

It's like, no, that's like the main. It's like getting a fucking open gaping gunshot one. Like we don't have to stitch it up. Yeah. Just let it heal. Yes. We don't have to clean. It's like the first thing you should do for a diabetic cat

is an insulin reader. Yes. Where is he at? Yes. And's he at? Yes. And she was like, you don't need to know what his blood sugar is at every two hours. It's like, you don't know.

You don't know what I need to know. Yeah. You don't. You don't. It's like, don't, again, and again, it's like, and I was screaming at this adder on the phone yesterday. It's like, we went through this once before and he went into, first of all, they think he's diabetic and it's like, he's 100% not. Yeah. He's not. He's, it is

literally just, it's like, it's acute hyperglycemia from a swollen pancreas. Your pancreas produces insulin. So if your pancreas gets fucked up, you get hyperglycemic. It's like, it's not that complicated. This is the same thing happened last time. We went 36 hours and he couldn't take another dose of insulin.

Because his fucking pancreas works. It just flares up every once in a while. And it's just like these fucking people, man. They like you try to tell them stuff and they just don't listen. It's like they act like you're retarded. And then I got to have this conversation on the phone yesterday where it's like, I don't know how to clearly clearly demonstrate to you that you're stupid than by what you're telling me. I will walk you through every beat of this and how stupid every point you're making is. It's like a court stenography. Yes.

It's like reading. I don't know how else to hold up a mirror to you and show you how fucking dumb you are. Yeah. It literally be like if your headlights went out and they were like, no, you can just drive at night. You don't need those. Yeah, you don't need it. You only need you don't need it. You got used to not being able to see while driving. No, it's also like it's like the gas The gas light coming on it's like, you know, yeah. Yeah. Well, how am I gonna know if I need gas or not? Yeah, I need the fucking gas. It's not that I think I need it's not gonna tell you how much gas you exactly need It's like well, at least it tells me something It's I need tell you how much gas you exactly need. It's like well at least it tells me something

It's I need some signal in the dark Ironically, this bitch is gonna get no penis for the next 30 years and die with five cats dude. She'll keep them all alive This is the quintessential cat woman superhero, yeah, they start like this. Yeah, this is the first chapter Yeah, the next chapter they go I can't believe I was that dark. It's true. Now. I love cats. I see cats in a different light kill They like she killed thousand. Yes, they fuck up. They kill a bunch of cats. Yeah, I'm gonna save every cat Yeah, they're like gonna let this happen again. It's like a German in Argentina Well, I hope you get nice weather and you go ah the Jews weren't that bad. I hope I hope

Jews on your lap. That was a stretch. I hope that's your future. I don't know. I didn't really do that much. I did. You want to yell her? It's fucking you know, now, now, now. Yeah, now, I'm not crazy. I'm not going to this is so no, this is I agree with this

But this is how crazy a one-star review is for me Yeah, like I love reading them once our reviews are so funny on like Amazon Yelp Whatever the fuck it is Grubhub. Yeah. Yeah If you're above 75% on an item on Amazon is too high. Yeah. Why it's too high a review for this piece this person One star is too high. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I need negative five stars. No, no, I know I know opposite of I'm talking about normal people right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to base level There's these maniacs out there. Yeah, usually they're not wearing scrubs taking care of people's sick fucking animals Yeah, yeah true. Yeah, they're just some maniac. It's the same person leaving a negative YouTube comment

for no, they log in. You gotta log in and be like, this show sucks. And it's like, cool man, you're throwing a rock down a well. Nobody gives you shit. It's still gonna go on. Also, it doesn't suck. I'm reading, I'm fucking reading. But like to truly truly get really angry,

you went to fucking Adolfo's Pizza Restaurant in Indiana. Unbelievable. The fucking lettuce was so dry, and I ordered the Caesar. Like just typing out a paragraph for a one-star review, and they got 60 reviews, two followers, it's him and his mom. You're an insane person. And this is why when you really need it, when you truly need a one-star guy, I think there's got to be a one-star star out there.

The star of one star. A one-star reviewer who's a star, the guy that truly gives really great ratings. Just start the post just being like, normally I don't do this. Yeah. 100%. It would be like Portland going, you know the rules, normally I don't do this. Everybody knows the rules. Normally I don't do this. But yeah, so like think about like a restaurant tour. They're all cunts, right? Yeah. They eat food, they get fat, they don't know how to cook themselves, but they're just like

a critic. You get somebody that truly goes to these restaurants, like I love the ambiance. From the hostess all the way to the chef, to the bartender, great. They don't know who you are, but you just start to gain some accolades in the culinary world for being this one person. But every now and then, the one star review is true. Identifiable with the public. So that you do listen to it.

It's not the Maniacs on Amazon or Grubhub or Yelp, which are, dude, I will find one star reviews on Amazon. I'll go into that person's account. It's mostly all one stars. Like we have like a few cunts on our YouTube. It's all negative comments. I don't know if it's an ex-girlfriend, some scorned lover, but it's like, dude, shut the fuck up.

And then it's always like, it's five star reviews of like eight different kinds of therapy places. Yeah. It's always. Yeah, one gunshot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all maniacs. It is always someone with some either mental disease or some chronic disorder. They're like, Oh my God, they helped me so much.

It's just like, Oh, you're just sick all the time. The point is it's very hard to find a sane person that is willing to give legitimate ratings for the quality of a restaurant or whatever the industry or product is. person that is willing to give legitimate ratings. I would love to. For the quality of a restaurant, whatever the industry or product is. And then all of a sudden go, today you're getting a one. And I'll tell you why.

And then you do a deep dive. You do an anything you board day and deep dive of how bad this fucking place is, so that everybody has eyes on that one. That one's are really mean something. It's not just an aunt Diane taking you away from getting this flashlight on fucking Amazon. You know what I'm saying? So like a lot of people, they'll rate their decision to get some random product, random household product on some dumb fucking bitch going like the

battery showed up dentin. It's like, well, let's do your PS driver. Yes. Why are you taking away from the company? That guy fucking crow hopped those batteries directly to your door, check your ring light. And then you're taking money out of the pocket of these mom and pop shop. See that fucking Home Depot wins. I'm just laughing. Fuck you, Diane.

I'm just laughing so hard at you having a flashlight just going like, can you believe I almost didn't buy this? Yeah, dude, I swear to God, Chris. I swear to God. Every time it's I swear to God, Chris. I swear to God. Every time it's over 75 to 82 I'm like, this is the best rating I've ever seen. And I get it and go, this product I almost want to go.

I want to log in with a five star review going, I'm so sorry about all the one stars they're fucking insane people. Oh yeah. Alright, this episode is brought to you by Huel. Guys, you know what? you love it. It's high in protein Contains vitamin C. It's stupidly convenient. No prep. No hassle. Just grab and crack on cheaper than coffee when you think about it You'd be spending on takeout and meal deals. It's a no-brainer

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Yeah, look at that. A little visit from the kitty cat. 40%? at that. A little visit from the kitty cat. 40%? Yeah. I'll take those fucking odds. Dude, yeah. He just came in to say hi. Yeah.

Let's go zerg. I was channeling as much as I could. I was channeling Apollo 13 energy. He heard the ad leads in his head. I'll check this out. Give him a little humor. Dude, I was full. Send that insulin through the fucking roof.

One star star. There needs to be a one star star to level out the fucking roof. One star star. There needs to be a one star star to level out the playing field. I did have a one star review once on Yelp. It was for Bieber bus tours in 2010-ish. Was it like Justin Bieber tour? I was taking that fucking thing bad whore in Bethlehem, PA. And I would have to take a Bieber bus from New York

To the shithole Iron Town and that's a nice stuff Yeah, quaint town nice the heart of the steel industry for a while. Yeah, it's a 40 50 years ago. It's nice And now it's just all you know, yeah rodents that became humans So I'd have to take this bus and I started getting auditions when I first moved to New York. They didn't have technology. It was like Greyhound bought them out

but they didn't give them any of the amenities. So you couldn't show your ticket on your email. You couldn't scan. There's none of that shit. And you'd have to print out your ticket on your email. Yeah, you couldn't scan. There's none of that shit and you'd have to print out your ticket. Yeah So you could show them Here's my receipt So I'm talking to this literally upright walking monkey this dude

He was like he had slid it at balding obviously but like from here Just a slick back three or four teeth and the bus is filled with their clowns They're like it is on its way to a absolute circus of humanity I remember and it every stop you could go it went through like Western PA Hell the Harrisburg was like the top and those class a heroin pipeline York. Yep, you're fucking straight New York heroin pipeline. Heroin pipeline. Like New York.

Yup. New York fucking Coachville. Like areas that no one wants to visit. And that was like, I had to get it from Bethlehem and then go up to New York. And the guy, I got up at like six o'clock in the morning, the sun's coming up, it's cold as fuck. He won't let me on the bus. And I have an audition at like nine o'clock in New York.

And I'm like, I have to, it was like one of my first auditions, I'm like, this is gonna be it. Yeah, yeah. Maybe, my next week, I'm slicking my hair just like him. And he goes, I can't, I can't take that. It's not printed out. And I was like, print it out. Here's my ID, here's my fucking ticket.

Let me on the bus. This is $18, dude. What do you think I'm trying to break into the fucking Go18, dude. What do you think? I'm trying to break into the fucking go pass at Disney. What do you think printing does? Right? Well, these fucking monkeys don't have this is the same thing I'm running into with this woman. It's like, it is this thing. It's like, what do you think happens between this screen and the printer that somehow authenticates the document? Well, here's what it is. You realize it's just a cable.

Do you remember the old school, like credit card machines that would go, and you'd have to rip the little pink slip off, put it in a little envelope, and those envelopes would then be calculated by an accountant, somebody that works at the restaurant in order for them to say, here's our bills, here's what we took in. They didn't even have a computer system to log the ticketing from the email and the website saying I bought this.

So he would need the physical printout so he could then bring to his person. Right. Because I was like, I'll give you cash. I'll give you whatever the fuck you need. I gotta get on that bus. And then I started calling him a fucking. I punched it.

It was bad and they pull off in like these private, this private little parking lot. And there's a bunch of, you know, like I said, circus mongrels, like, drooling on the fucking glass, watching me try and fight this old fat. Ready for the audition. Smelling like Macy's dude. Look in the flight any motherfucker I was so hot and I just kept punching the thing till he pulled

off it's so funny cuz if I was the walk back to the apartment was crazy wait you didn't get on the bus he wouldn't let me on I had to cancel the audition oh my god I was punching the side of the box it's so funny if I was fucking 35 if I was on the bus and I also needed the bus to get going and saw You doing that? I'd like yeah Another one of these guys just tell me can't get on Guys wearing his his underwear was head. It's truly a bed like a bed bug man that I did take through Western PA. Fuck that bitch.

I will text you. I give you all the things. Anyway, you got it. We got a Yelper. We got a I'll write something up. But again, you don't want to take away from the business. I would call the business. They did. It's like, can I tell you it? Like how? That's what I was going to say to the lady on the phone, but she was like so good to us.

She let us like sleep there one night. Yeah. So it was like, this is not directed at you, but can you pass along? And it's like, I can't control the volcano that comes out when I start talking about this woman. Yeah, I know I saw it It's just like it's just a little No, I get it dude five days five days of pure like Torture. Yeah, you know what I mean? Is he gonna die? Is he not gonna die? Is he gonna? He's gonna die He's not gonna die. He's gonna die. It's like he finally gets to the other side and it's like We're on the downhill. All I need is the one thing to make sure we don't fuck it up. Yeah, and

It's just like you just won't it's like Yeah, I Just want to fucking hold her head in the toilet Do you get it do you get it yeah just hold this mechanism over like this is a Meter for when you're about to drown. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna attach it to your hand Yeah, you can look at it. Yeah to see when you're about to drown I'm gonna put your fucking head in a toilet, But hold on. You don't actually need this monitor. You'll feel it. You'll know when you're about to fucking drown. Oh, that'd be so great. If you were just sitting there with like a blood oxygen meter and you were like, I want

to know exactly when you die. You know what? I'll guess. Useless. She's seen your image like blurry through the top, top of bubbles. This is porn, dude. I mean, this is absolute porn. The murder with your pets, your fucking kid to a certain extent. I would go fucking nuts. I said on the Patreon this I let this this fucking swarthy gentleman I don't know if he was Greek, but anyone darker than Peach and Austin, I trust. And he greased my dog's asshole while talking to me. Yeah. Locked eyes, giving me good information.

Just searching for old sticks. I mean, we went to that place. Like I said, everyone in there was like. Amazing. Oh yeah, you saw you guys actually walked in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, as soon as you break the wall, you're just like, oh my god Yeah, it's an apartment complex of people caring individually for pets. Yeah veg

Vegg South Austin. I saw this I Saw this woman crying through the x-ray door that like still haunts me. Yeah this tall blonde was like looking at her old like Pitbull and I guess the it wasn't good And she's just like crying looking through this tall skinny Window while there's like a bunch of doctors in there And they brought him out in a stretcher

Dude, it's a They brought him out like a war one stretcher, dude. The dog was a huge, giant, fat ass bit. It was like, dude, two assistant doctors just carrying this dude through the door. I remember when she fucked off, she went down this back hallway, which is the back door. I'm like, where's she going? The bathrooms are this way. And she just like, I think they just let her know like, Hey, we're gonna. Oh, God.

Well do that. The worst part is it's like, there are constantly just like, I mean, yeah, they're just constantly going like, you know, this is a lot of money. You're like, I don't don't I don't put a price tag on this. Yes. I know, I know, dude. I know. But I can't let an animal that could not die die. I can't do that. Yeah. So my dad, whatever. That's like three olive gardens. I Fucking kids head I know dude dude is every time they every time they hit you with a like this is really expensive It's just yeah every dad that's ever lived. Yeah inside your head going like what are you doing? Yeah? You almost just want to pull up your bank account go is it?

Save the fucking yeah, or you get one. They look at the bank. You don't go like yeah, it is very Actually I haven't told you how much Or you get one look at the bank go You can say my grandmom and this cat. What's the APR on a loan? Oh man, well, he's cruising around. He's good. Did he eat today? He ate, he scarfed this morning. That was the thing, he fucking ate his first like full meal this morning.

And then we gave him the insulin and it was because the the reader he's been off the charts He's like his blood sugar has been so high. It just says high on it. Mm-hmm and then like You know a couple hours later. We were getting like numbers and we were like fuck. Yeah, dude We're getting numbers. Yeah, and then we gave him the shot of like six in the morning and And then by four o'clock this afternoon, it was like back up high. No, he was like. He was like going through the floor. It was like his blood, his blood sugar went from like it must have been 420,

430 this morning to like. 83. Wow. What? Yeah. And then we were like normal between 80 and 100, 80 and 120. That's because he's eating? It's because his pancreas is back online and yeah, he's eating. So it's like the sugar's coming in the normal way and the pancreas is actually like working. So it's like, yeah. So, but we had given him an insulin injection obviously to like help like help. But now it's like, he's, yeah, he's like 83 and you're like, end dropping.

Like it was like a steady drop. If you gave him the same dose we gave him in the morning at 83, he'd be dead in minutes. Yeah. It's like, so it's like, that's what we would have done had we not had the meter. Yeah. We would have no fucking idea what his blood sugar was.

Well, I mean, look, the train of thought here for me from a biased, but on the other side perspective where it's like, you have to say something. You're going to kill someone. Think about the next family that comes in with an animal and doctor what's your face? Dr. Reid, Dr. Reid, you fucking bitch. Yeah. Dr. Reid is the death doctor that comes to see and says, Yeah, they don't need that back. Like, it's just like, you know, yeah, you

gotta say something. Again, this is not it's not even like a medical it's not like, should we give him this or should we. This is not, it's not even like a medical, it's not like, should we give him this or should we give him that? Like it's not a medical opinion. It's not subjective. Can I have some information about what his blood sugar is at? Yeah. I don't care if it's not a 100% perfectly accurate.

It's like, it's again, it's a, yeah, we're looking for like a 75 to 82% on Amazon. It's a good product Amazon It's a good product She was like it's not even meant for cats meant for people. You're fucking using it. Yeah That's so funny. You said that you're like, I bet you're like I knew this is gonna be a good product I literally say that oh, yeah, yeah once every two weeks I'll call my girl and like babe. Do you see like this is look at this. It's perfect. Well, it's working. Yes. I mean, it's exactly what we want. You get a good vacuum. You're like, can you believe that? I

also think that's the psychological thing. It's like the desire for it to actually be good. Backpedaling through all of the negative comments, because that's what people are obsessed with. Right? So you go to ratings for a vet. First thing my girl do like, well, this one's higher rate, it will drive an hour and a half this way. It's all ratings. So then you go, no one's, I don't know, I need to start, I need to start rating seriously. I need to give the fives legitimate fives. I need to give the fours legitimate fours. I don't think anyone across the board is a legitimate rater. No. Because they're not, if you get a, if you have a negative experience and you have a one star emotion you're not coming out with legitimate thoughts yeah you're like kill Dr. Reed yeah yeah

yeah you're not giving an overall hospital appearance and like feel of like dude the comfort of my cat yes Dr. Reed needs to be drowned doing toilet yes yeah yeah I don't know if she needs some time off. Look, it's a stressful environment. I'm not taking that away from anyone, but it's just like... Yeah, it's gotta be home life. It's... Now, this is just stupid.

Did she ever ring on? I don't know. I don't look at stuff like that. Oh, you have to when they act like that. 100%. A woman starts acting like crazy like that. Yeah. Look at her left hand.

See if she's married. And you'll go of course not first of all and if she is that guy she just found out he's been fucking his secretary yeah for years i was trying to split up the little farmhouse that they bought i will say this she looked like too put together like every other good doctor in there. Yeah. Like the shovel. They had their like pens and shit in order, but like and like the paperwork going on, but like the pens in order. Yeah.

Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about with different color. Pics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But one g5. Yes.

And that's like, that's the one that's the one that signs a bills, dude. G5 that that's the mobile deposit pen? I want to make this my Johnny. I want to make sure that's perfect. I Don't want to get fucked up in the corners on a good cornering pen No, but they were they would be like kind of like yeah disheveled. Yeah, you know what I mean Yeah, not totally fucked but like, like they're working. Yeah. Well, you want them to smell off putting, you want like hair from previous animals that were there.

Yes. Like scattered along their scrubs. Mm-hmm. You want maybe like a little like old mayo or something in the corner because they're rushing to eat lunch from the subway. I want a doctor. I don't want someone who's looking like they're playing doctor. That's the final boss. Yeah, yeah. That's the final boss. I. Yeah, that's the final boss

I'm talking about the caretakers Caretakers need to like they love their house smelling like animal, you know, I mean, oh, yeah. Yeah true caretakers This is what I'm talking about. It's fucking 20 25 Dyches. Yeah, these women Lesbians. Yeah, these women are like they love animals. Yeah, even if it's not theirs Yeah, they will wet dog is there so Yes Wet dog is there so much 100% Yeah. All right. This episode is brought to you by Harry's

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They will take a fucking diseased Paul behind their ears Date no going out tonight. Yeah, I want to make sure this guy likes dogs because my whole bed smells like. I just got these Paul pads on Amazon. Great, great review, 78. So dogs, you know what dogs, Paul smell like Fritos? Oh yeah.

So it's a bacteria caused from their paws being wet. So that's why you you shave the hair between hair in between is a big thing for certain breeds because they're not out running. They're not like catering to same thing with nails. Dogs in the wild, they're running through different materials and are naturally shaving down their nails. Same thing with the hair. So a lot of these dog breeds that are really hairy, you have to, I just bought this too, just to solve down all the, like the inner ball hair, you know, I mean through the webbing of their, their balls, but the natural moisture of them just being out in the rain will be like an incubator for bacteria and stuff. And that caused the Frito smell.

So puppy's feet that smell like Fritos So I bought these pads that combat that so that all of our furniture doesn't smell like fucking Fritos So they step on the pad and it no no no you just my dogs really good at it like when she gets home from like When it pissed last night all my storms were nuts last night She didn't sleep at all Dude it was like... The house shook at one point. And she likes to put... She sleeps in the... So I sleep like this.

And she'll put her head here on me or my girl. And then you could feel her jump up and just look at the ceiling. Because the house shook. There was a lightning strike so close. I was like... It's coming. The thunder and lightning here. It's awesome. Insane.

I fucking love it. I heard a thunder, like a thunder clap that I swear to God rumbled for. Oh, I was jerking off. Sorry. Zeus himself. Cranking one out. What a fucking uncle joke, dude. What a union site joke. How's me beating off?

Yeah. I took my dick out, dude. You've been like four in the morning the other night. This thing, it was two and a half minutes. I for real. It was so loud. The house was shaking and then eventually I was like that must just be the loudest truck. I've ever heard.

Yeah, but it's was 100% just mother nature. There's solid. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it great, though? It is great. It's so good. They just took down a big tree in my parents house.

Oh, really? Yeah. When I went to see him last week, there's a giant fucking I don't know if it's an oak or something that fell close to my parents house, split right this far up from from the base and the base is like this big. There's a lightning strike And there's something like every every four feet of a tree like that is like three tons or something. It's like something absurd Yeah, it's like a hundred year old tree. Yeah, and I was like that. Yeah. Yeah, look how lucky you were It didn't even get that close to house house Like what 10 feet and he was yeah 20 grand

That motherfucker's gonna cost me 20 grand to get rid of that's unbelievable cuz I gotta get rid of that one He starts bitching. Yeah, it's like two days before his kidneys get removed. Now you're bitching about landscaping Oh, dude, it never ends The lady the lady going we gotta get rid of all these trees Too dangerous steve. Yeah never ends. The lady, the lady going, we got to get rid of all these trees. Dangerous, Steve. Yeah. You start going, no, that one's leaning away. It's not going to fall at us. We could sit. Yeah.

And then he's like, they brought they brought over an arborist. Looks like a tree faggot. The tree faggot? Just beep it. You don't have to clear it. But apparently in Westchester, PA, especially across the street from their nearby longwood gardens and there's certain trees that you've got to bring in a specialist before removal because they want to protect certain like yeah certain Whatever. Yeah, and they felt one was like from like Japan and my dad's like, oh how the hell this got here And it's like playing it right in the middle of their couple acre

backyard And he's like I'd love to take it down things a piece of shit and he's like I can't Treat you know, so now he's all fired up. Yeah cannot take a tree down. Yeah yeah. It's Japanese Steve. That's the best tree. And she's in that fucking yeah she's in that Buddhist era everything's fucking sacred. Oh you're your mom? My mom yeah. Yeah. They do. My wife. Your wife. Now my mom's on the same trajectory. The Catholic to Buddhist connection. Every nurse, every nurse becomes a Buddhist. 100%. They should start Buddhist. Yeah. And then become Catholic. Well they get angry here so it makes sense. Start peaceful. Deal with

the bullshit of life and then become Catholic somewhere have a reason to beat your kids But we can run now somewhere along the line. I like like Ten years ago. I started coming home and there were like elephants everywhere Yeah in the house. Yeah, and I'd be like what's going on with yeah the eight fucking arms Yeah, and she goes to the elephants clear the way. Yeah Yeah Nice North America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not North America. I don't remember Irish elephants.

Man. That's another great fucking violent video is watching elephants destroy their trainers. Yeah. There's one in like fucking India. Well, this guy just starts like whipping them with a fucking stick trying to get him out of his cage. Oh, yeah.

And the dude just pushes him over, stomps on him with one of his a fucking stick, trying to get him out of his cage. And the dude just pushes him over, stomps on him with one of his giant fucking feet, and folds him like a Z-fold. Like putting a letter to your loved one in grade school into an envelope. Both ways, and they just keep smashing those little Indian pancake. And I'm on all fucking, dude, I fucking dude I'm cheering this fucking elephant on.

Yeah you'd love to see him just grab him with the trunk and fucking Hulk smash him. Oh he did slam him, he slammed him first. He Hulk smashed him and then folded him. Dude also like the attention like he was so specifically I know where to crush all your vitals. Oh yeah. Right in the cage.

Yeah. Cause he went down like this, but then he pushed back his head and then went down. He was the perfect, like, known fucking- Combo. Yeah. Written fucking letter to you for your birthday. It was like the perfect grease. Back of the neck, through the fucking ribs, dude.

That fucking rules. You'd love for the elephant to hold up his hands me like that's it. Yeah. Yeah, nobody else is In trouble you saw what he did nobody else. Yeah trouble, but that guy had it coming. It's just like he was fucking read You guys are fine guys. Oh Yeah I'm not gonna drown one there. That's the one nobody nobody else danger. Yeah That's why the school shooting should be okay for just one guy, you know, I mean Like one dude that's been bullied for so fucking long. Yeah, I just comes in goes. Yeah. Yeah make it a targeted gun down. Yeah

It's like that dude who killed the fucking molester Jeremy. Just collect this. I just listened to that song not too long ago. Is it a while that you listen to music and you just have no idea what the words or story is? And then you get a little older and you go Oh, I mean look these lyrics up. Yeah Spotify now does that they've done that for years But like I never yeah you start looking at used to like in in the 80s You would pull out the the backing of a CD case and only like the biggest bands would put all the lyrics to their songs It like appetite for destruction. Yeah, you could like read through their songs, but like everybody else would just put like, you know, the song, the producer, whatever.

Yeah, the credits. Credits. And then you never looked up words. You just made up words that sounded like the words. And then you get older, you go, holy shit. That's what the fuck they say? I did that with the song Hook by Blues Traveler. I love that song so much. Were you a gay veterinarian? I was an arborist. Saving one tree at a time. And then I remember I looked up the lyrics like, I don't know how long ago and I the whole song is just about like The like how good this song is and how the lyrics don't matter Yeah, they're like the song is basically like I'm gonna say this and then we'll say that and you're gonna be really into it

And then I'm gonna take you this way then I'm gonna take you that way and then the hook's gonna bring you back Yeah, the whole song is just is like kind of talking shit. Yeah Yeah, you just run into cul-de-sacs. Yeah. I was like, damn, this is wild. That's how it should be, because these guys are so musically talented and inclined that they go, this sounds good.

Yeah. This is the hook. How do I get there? Here's the beats of the next one. I've seen like a couple, not documentaries, but I I've seen I thought it was about like relationships or something though laws when you probably were into it, you have fingering for the first time harmonic and guitar Yeah, horny as hell. Yeah thunderclap

Just cranking one up the fucking GI Joe's in the man look away fellas Not gonna see this I Love how we came in you were just playing Your fucking X shooter game was I had doing headshots. I had to. Yeah. Now I know why. I had to. I had to get my mind off of the how, yeah, I was. What should I do? Should I get an Xbox or should we do the? You should, man.

It's so fun. I'm getting a lot of messages about Oculus. Yeah. The new Oculus. We should dive back in. The new fucking Onward. I've gotten a bunch of messages going. The new Onward's sick.

The new golf has a shitload of new courses Yeah, I say we just get a whole new set. I would do it. I would do it. I'll do it tonight. Yeah motherfucker I'll do it But you should get an Xbox. It's it's so fun, dude last night. I'm with my cousin man sniper team recon and Fucking he's a sniper. I'm spotting dudes and he's just lighting them up.

It was fucking sick. And you get to see just cantaloupe. Just go way behind. Cantaloupe getting smoked. Yeah, way behind enemy lines. And you can set up these like garrison spawns. So like your whole, if you get like the right spot behind enemy lines, you can just have your whole team

spawn there and just fucking rush them from the backside. All right. So it's sick. And I'm like, I'm talking with the commander and everything. He's dropping supplies for me. Jesus. It's fucking sick, dude.

Nice, dude. Me and my cousin. How much is an Xbox? Dude, me and my cousin just climbing. 500 bucks. Yeah. Climbing rooftops. That's how much it costs to save your cat.

We see this Texas Roadhouse seventy five dollar gift card. You're not making this. It's so fun. All right, I'll do it. It's so fun. I'll do it. When you get a good team in that game. It's a dream. Yeah, I mean, that's the it's a dream. That's the key to anything being fun.

You know, a lot of people like just like solo shit. That's insane. Yeah, I like the team. It's team sports again. Yeah, we don't you know, we don't get to play a lot of team sports. Yeah, this is like back to like, yeah You know, I just watch I watch that horse documentary. Yeah about Triple crown last night. I crushed it. Yeah, cuz I I stopped drinking hard stuff. I'm just been doing seltzer So I'm like alert to like fucking for him, too I have like three of these fucking four or fives and I got energy beyond belief from my courses. Let's figure it out.

Jason worth the bought into this they went like a partial. He went into this like partial ownership with this one horse took a small percentage. And the horse ended up like getting past it all go all the way to the was a pre Kentucky Derby, Kentucky and then the Belmont stakes. Yeah, got to the Belmont and I who cares? It's all in one. Yeah, it fucking one. But just seeing that this was his explanation. That's how he

got into the horse racing. He played 15 years in the league, maybe 13 in the pros. And at the highest level, won the chip with the Phillies. And he's like, this is the only thing that made me feel like I was back in Yes. Athletics. Yes. The highest level. The intensity of it. It's fun to watch, dude. I crushed six episodes in at the highest level. The intensity of it.

It's fun to watch, dude. I crushed six episodes in one night. Easy. That's five hours. Yeah. Five hours. Yeah. Is it him buying into the whole,

is it documented by the whole process? Yeah, the whole process. He's only, it's like the race car one, it's like F1. Yes. Where he's only in, let's say, a third of all the episodes, so they go through all the owners then they go through the trainers and they go through the riders And then just show the three big races and the lead up to that They throw a broad in there. She's great. Yeah, she's great It's gotta be so fucking every time that she would she's probably for eight

But she's a white girl from like the south and I could tell she had buns they never show them but I knew they did it they kept cutting off like every time they'd be like trailing her through all this stuff because she's the sweetest girl St. Idle fans right and they would drop like just like two inches a yes crack I'm like show me the egg yeah and they would pair so that's it so it's but if you saw that That's the real reason he crushed all those episodes like sooner or later they're gonna show this girl's ass Sooner or later, it's that's the horse. Yes, that's a triple crown Sooner or later, it's that's the horse. Yes, that's a triple crown

It's the Belmont and some other happens, but they show this woman yeah, it's dynasty here Belmont Anyway check it out. It's nice Yeah, if they're not showing it. It's gotta be I'm not kidding. We're getting oculus is tonight. I'm down. Yeah, I'm down I'm down to dive back in all the boys that used to play onward with this. I Swear to God dude, I mean shake on it. Yeah, I'm buying them right now on our business. I'm down Okay, yeah, all right The new the new stuff looks sick new Yeah, and onward rules even as fun as this game is onward is is next level unbelievable because you can look around and keep your gun in The same place. It's annoying when you need to look behind you and you have to do this. Yeah

It's like yeah, I just need to hear what the footsteps are. Yeah, we've already been over We've heard enough attitude I don't know what that footsteps talk, dude All right, look at this drops tomorrow Go on YouTube look at this channel subscribe Dropping one every Thursday the look at this channel is really it's fire is ripping. Yeah, so we're putting out old Episodes for the last few years the oldies two years the super oldies We'll throw a new one in there just to show you that the change of locations people are asking for awesome locations and stuff like that But if you want to update and get new episodes, we're filming on Saturday this week for the newest one

That'll be on patreon only stuff island comm slash patreon patreon.com stuff island Go to look at this tier sign up for that you get a new episode every week and you also get a bulk load of 50 plus episodes maybe yeah something like that you know watch yeah if you love and look at this you can watch all of them and what we have right now yeah