Stuff Island - Pepé Le Pope - Stuff Island #126
Episode Date: March 27, 2024Pepé Le Pope - Stuff Island #126 Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs ...up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I can't believe you thought that shirt was going to be distracting and then you invited
Ian Finance onto the...
Ian Finance is the boardwalk t-shirt of a human being.
I'm a 100% Latina t-shirt like on a fucking Russian mannequin while with New Jersey.
Ian fired me the fuck up yesterday.
Keep your ears peeled
for in your eyes for the uh look at dish look at dish in early april we're gonna try and get out by
the first or second yeah uh we filmed last night for the first time in my in my new kitchen
cheesesteak egg rolls unbelievable buddy i gotta say we say in the episode but i i every time i
in delco growing up the best cheesesteaks are like local joints, right?
That's why they get so offended by like Gino's, Pat's, Steve's, South Street, like wherever you go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ishka Bibble's.
There are like little bars, little restaurants, little fucking, you know, the boutiques of cheesesteaks.
Yes.
All these places typically have a cheesesteak egg roll.
Not all of them, but a bunch of the bars that I would meander around.
Because the cheesesteak egg roll exterior gives you the sensation and the hangover cure of like a french fry or a chicken finger.
Yeah.
But with the cheesesteak.
Sometimes you don't want to devour a giant fucking roll.
You just want all of the best sides along with it.
Yeah, it's the Wes Welker of... 100%.
...of cheesesteaks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a Patriots slot receiver for hangover cures, dude.
Yeah, the Shady McCoy maybe is better.
Always one in our recommendations.
Great in the snow.
Yeah.
One of the best in the snow.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, it came out great.
It was fun as fuck.
Yeah.
Ian was late.
We held on production our
our lighting was we gotta we gotta figure out our just like this this is a great new setup so funny
held on production we did yeah yeah just waiting for this goofy jew face to come running through
with cokehead five-year-old energy i know and he acted like it wasn't a thing this is what like i
used to get upset with
you in the beginning because you didn't understand the timing and control of heat and process and prep
and delivery that's why i go sometimes i go bananas somewhere and i don't say a word for
20 minutes because i want to make sure everything is right the heat the temperature the time it's
impossible it's very hard to do.
And then you got this fucking pack of toddlers
yapping about hack jokes that he wrote in the elevator.
When you cook a steak and you're supposed to let it sit,
it's fresh-baked cookies, man.
You can't.
It's impossible.
Don't start defending your own fucking actions.
It's impossible not to dive into them.
Yeah, that almost canceled the whole episode.
When all I was doing was getting
That's blueberry pie on the window.
Yeah, Pepe Le Pew came over
and fucking ruined everything,
dude.
I'm the Pepe Le Pew of this fucking podcast,
by the way. That guy is
a pure wop.
He's breaking and entering. He's stealing
things and sexually harassing the hottest chick in the kitchen. He's breaking and entering. He's stealing things and sexually harassing
the hottest chick
in the kitchen.
He's a French man.
Pepe Le Pope.
Pepe Le Pope.
Dude,
new podcast name.
Dude, Pepe Le Pope.
For Look at Dish.
It's so nice.
I would have
took that out.
Send in the artwork.
Send in the artwork.
Send in the artwork.
Commission me, dude.
Just a girl
trying to catch a bus. Some hot, fat-titted old lady. Youed in the artwork. Commission me, dude. Just a girl trying to catch a bus.
Some hot, fat-titted old lady.
You sniffing her hair.
No, it was fun.
The product came out great.
You guys are going to love it.
Go to look at this channel on Patreon.
But this is our first...
It's our third podcast in your apartment,
but this is our first attempt at this corner room that looks over the city.
Which is going to be tough.
Yeah.
It is tough.
I'm going to take a video real quick just so you can.
It's also slowly building.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fucking Ian had something to say about that too.
He said something about my lack of artwork.
Do you know the walls are huge, and I need so much art.
Yeah.
It's like, dude, shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
He paints his toilet with spackle shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a disgusting human being.
I love you, Ian.
I'm so sorry.
And then he tried to turn it into, that was a teachable moment for him.
Yeah.
Well, he saw the fucking anger in my eyes.
Shout out Usher.
But yeah, I think we flipped this around. i'll be interested to see what the what the fans say i don't think i don't think we can do it together
i mean yeah we can do it we'll figure out the lighting anyway this is a nice start you got the
you got the bonsai that's done on provia behind you this is i liked it it was like a big bonsai
i love it it is a big bonsai It reminds me of the trees
They paint on those scrolls
In Chinese
Yeah
The Chinese paint on those scrolls
Yeah yeah
When you're walking up the mountain
Dude those Chinese
I want this to
I want this to like
I'm gonna trim this like a
Tree that
Goes around you
Yeah
Like a tree that's hanging over a road
Yeah
Like those old southern plantations
Where they connect at the top.
Let's get two of them.
And we'll just be in like a little willow cave.
Dude, I miss those fucking, those Asians that hand you those gems, the monks.
Oh, on the street?
They bop around like the M&M store and they just hand you like a shiny coin.
And you're like, and all the tourists are like, ooh, thank you.
And then they charge you for it or something.
And then they run you down and go dollar.
Then they send you a sign going dollar.
That would be like the fucking homegrown Mexicans that give out that chiclets.
Yeah, charging for tacos.
And giving you a chocolate bar and then just be standing there like $10, fuckface.
Don't just hand it to me first.
You got to tell me it's a charge.
I never believed that those were real monks.
I always assumed they like went back. They're not. i thought they got kicked out of the seminary dude they got
caught jerking off in the in the secondary room yeah they're like the fucking the rejects the guy
in a banana costume like i assume they go back to a warehouse and they like take the robe off and
they put on yeah regular if you're a monk you're you're either a white guy staring fucking IPAs in a weird land,
or you're an Asian dude trying to break glass with a thought.
If you're handing out fake quarters in Times Square, you're the B team of fucking monks, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You did something bad in your home, man.
Just begging not to go, being like, the glass.
Yeah.
Dude, I'm so far. There's a crack's a crack i saw a refraction the other day the density of the glass has shifted we just looked
up what refraction means dude i wonder i wonder how bad they beg not to go do that oh yeah it's
hell it's it also might just be a course like a a training course, like level one. Go to the worst place in America.
Right.
See if you don't lose your fucking skull.
True.
Your temper.
Right.
Pass out these coins.
How calm can you be?
Yeah.
They're like, they're pissing people off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is an exercise.
Aggressive black women?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to find a man.
Yeah.
It's like plucking the flower in Batman or whatever.
I want you to give this coin to Tommy Poe. Then wait 10 minutes. Yeah. Then tell him there find a man. Yeah, it's like plucking the flower in Batman or whatever. I want you to give this coin to Tommy Poe.
Then wait 10 minutes.
Then tell him there's a charge.
Send in an old Asian guy to rip off an angry black chick in Harlem.
It's like before you go to scuba school,
you have to rub the underbelly of a great white and fucking Australian dude.
Put him through the muck he comes back his eyes are changed it's like a soldier coming back from vietnam you're like he's he was uncle dave's different now he's still a nice guy after four
miller lights but uncle dave changed man he saw some shit dude i like the or i don't like i get those mixed up sometimes
you know i was uh no no i was uh i was listening to the meditation app and sometimes they have
monks on there that are just white ladies yeah get the fuck out of here they're taking everybody's
job it's for real it's the opposite of television it's like a woman whose name was like stacy williamson and then all of a sudden they start
calling her like vasami or something like that and you're like oh vasami repoushay i'm gonna
listen to what he has to say yeah you know or you know yeah i'm gonna listen to what he has
that bitch should be a hostess at a panda king You can't just fucking be a monk out of nowhere.
It does feel like a Spanish class name.
It's the name they give all the white waiters at fucking Benihana's.
Jeremiah Rempeche.
I'm Wang Watkins.
Are you?
This white wine's hitting different.
Dude, that's the Riesling.
You taught me about that.
Great new chairs, Chris.
Yeah, the chairs are better.
Life is better in the chair. Life is nice in this chair.
That fucking, the first two episodes,
I was sleepy beanie.
Dude, you can't.
You can't.
Do you remember? It's a hollow rock.
Like fighting
ex-girlfriends.
It's like when you're
laying down.
You're in a cot in Cuba.
And you're
already out of love with them.
Everything they're saying, you're just like,
yeah, I know. We'll talk about it tomorrow. you're just constantly like fuck that's what it's like and
then you just got to be entertaining and funny it's like you have to be in a stiff upright
position we should be in those fucking it is full when your girl's breaking up with you and you're
laying down just chester cat not see, I'm not all here.
You disappear.
Not affected by any of her threatening actions or words.
In repose.
You're just like,
no, I definitely hear you about that.
Because you've already,
your bag's been packed for months, dude.
I'll let you get this out
because it'll make you feel better,
but I am so gone.
I fell asleep during half of that shit.
My ex-girlfriend actually fell asleep.
When I first met her, she told me a story.
When she was breaking up with him, he was, like, going nuts,
and he would show up.
He'd drive from Jersey to her place, and he'd show up, like, crying
and, like, just being a real bitch about it.
You know, trying to keep something he needed yeah yeah
and she said she literally fell asleep during an argument like where he was like pleading his case
and she went full out it wasn't like a wasn't like one eye had like paralysis like she was just
oh i'm jealous i'm calling the cops because the murder's getting cold like if i'm
opening my my heart and like look this is how i see what you're saying i know we need to change
first of all but here's what i'm yeah but i'm not saying i would do that no no i know but you would
have enough you've done comedy wherewithal to know five minutes into the set whether you can turn it
around you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah five years into the relationship you you if you if you
show up at someone's doorstep crying yeah and you've driven two hours and you don't have them
yeah yeah it's like francisco or what's his name? Pablo Francisco. Yeah. He was like, you think you can get out of this?
I mean,
you think you can get out of this?
Just walking.
That's what this guy was doing.
Are you,
are you sleeping?
Oh my God.
He tried to shake her and she was like,
oh,
please just go.
Like,
get out of my fucking house and life.
Well, that's where it does turn.
Because if you're two hours middle of the night, you're not driving back.
Man.
You got to figure out a way to crash.
That's why I say you build a cold heart, even though you're warm to everybody that deserves it.
I give all my bounty to a very few.
Oh, yeah.
Everybody else can fucking suck my dick.
Yeah, yeah.
You give me a reason gone like the movie heat 30
seconds i can walk away from anything yeah lost a brother years ago do i think about it every day
not anymore once in a while only when i'm thinking about podcasting and women
because she's a bitch no you got it you got to open up you got to let yourself be hurt
i think that was that's what was difficult on the first two episodes on that couch because i have
been at peace whereas i i feel like in historia or even you know just our our life before where
you come in with this energy and rage that ian had yeah yeah where it's like you don't realize how activated
you are on every level so now i feel my my comfort level is starting to level out whereas the first
two weeks you're busy with a move a lawn a repair guy and all that stuff it wears you out all day
and then no one else is fucking ragging on you and on the streets yeah everybody's being great
john's coming over to see if my lawnmower's working well how many volts are in the fucking
thing yeah i see them every day now it's no well. How many volts are in the fucking thing?
Yeah.
I see them every day now.
It's a thing.
No one's crowding you.
No one's like.
Yeah.
So what I'm saying is I don't have that activated energy,
but now I'm starting to get it naturally,
especially with these chairs.
Chairs are nice.
I still got it a little bit.
I'm downtown.
I do.
Oh yeah,
you do.
Cause when I come down here,
I always forget.
I'm like,
Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. But it. Oh, yeah, you do. Because when I come down here, I always forget. I'm like, oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's also, this is Austin to New York in terms of the homeless.
This is Austin homeless to New York.
But there's not as many of them.
No, there's not.
There's a lot.
But they're, and they're also very centrally located.
They form like camps.
I just saw a fight on the walk here.
Really?
Yeah.
I saw a fight between this security
guard that was kicking this dude out of this little fucking area
and the guy was like banging
on the glass. The other chick's tit was out.
Oh, dude, yeah. She's trying to dig
through the trash. This one white lady cut her
hair with a shoe. Dude, it's gotta be
It looked like someone did
a moon dance on the back of this chick's wig. It must be
like a rookie, like a
greenhorn homeless. Yeah, he doesn't know yet.
Because if you came down as a New York homeless
to here, you would have no
idea what's going on. It's a vacation. All the trendy,
all the cool places to hang out are perfect
homeless spots. Yeah.
Like that bar we went to last night is like,
oh.
Just some dude waiting for the lights to get turned out.
Yeah, it's just all benches.
Yeah, and dog hair
make you feel at home that's the only issue with the fucking everything's a outdoor brewery by me
because i'm south they're nice and they're so nice there's nicer breweries and then there's
like honky tonk breweries so i like to get it's a nice little range yeah but i like walking in
everywhere is like a low ceiling it feels like you're on like tatooine or something it feels like you're
natural like a normal yeah yeah it feels like i'm tall as hell you're not even that short you get a
lot you got a little flack or someone stick up for you today yeah it's it's wide body yeah it is your
frame wide body you got the frame of a 6'4 baseball player wide shoulders big fat ass
I get it though I saw someone recently
I don't want to say who but I saw them on
like I saw them on
Instagram and shit a ton and I thought
they were taller
it's like meeting an actor
how you doing
what are you doing
you doing Mission Impossible again
what are you up to did again the little plane on wire yeah and even that was like r&b singers you're like dude you are a
fucking bitch how about p diddy you've been he's been reading no what's going on well i heard he's
he's making people suck his dick dude no he no. He's apparently getting cornered as the curator of Epstein Island for hip hop.
Really?
In the entertainment industry.
Yeah.
Jay-Z's on the heels, too.
They're nipping at Jay-Z.
Wow.
Everybody's getting it.
Apparently, there's this hodgepodge group led by him and also these executives who got
Diddy into...
Again, this is not word for word.
I just could consume this in an Uber on the way here.
It's a dramatic retelling.
Yeah, you need to put that, like, the dramatized thing.
Yeah, this is the CW version of the documentary
of how someone got fucking clipped.
But they picked him up already.
They've raided both of his mansions.
P. Diddy?
Yeah.
Warrants, taking all his computers.
They got his drug mule that he brings on the road.
Oh, my. Some little skinny white dude that brings all the pills.
Apparently, he's been drugging young kids, young ladies.
All the younger male artists are forced to perform sex acts on other guys.
So there's a whole crew of gay acts for if you want to be in this business.
And it goes all the way back to his start.
Because there's apparently
these executives that make you do
certain things if you want to be the next big star.
So there's a whole fucking popcorn
trail of all these fucking artists that
even when you were like,
yeah, they're kind of
Ian Finance.
They might be playing both
fields i wonder and sure enough it's all coming out now it's gonna be great that'd be wild if
like there was like a gen like a rosetta stone where like all the lyrics that are about like
slinging rock and like fucking cock guns is just really about getting molested by like
yeah the heads executives yeah yeah good christ yeah like those white monks just really about getting molested by like. Yeah. The heads of state. Yeah.
Yeah.
Good Christ.
Yeah.
Like those white monks just coming in and getting their ass.
That's got to be different now.
Right.
I know.
I think what they're saying is if you're not part of that,
because I watched like they're doing all these like throwback videos to like
when people like us,
like the layman not understanding when they're on the,
where they're on like hot 98 or seven
or whatever the fuck it is.
And they're just like 50 cent,
like throwing hard fucking haymakers
at P. Diddy.
He's like, I don't do what P. Diddy does.
And he's like on like the view
and they're like, what?
Yeah.
And he just wants to get this out.
He's like, yeah,
I thought it was like a good time.
So I didn't feel the need
to put pills in girls' drinks. And they're like, let's get back to the interview. And he's like, yeah, yeah was like a good time so i didn't feel the need to put pills in girls drinks and they're like let's get back to the interview and he's like yeah yeah sometimes
i say some wild shit and it's showing all of like the history of these guys that are putting your
foot in the sand saying like i'm not a part of that side of the business yeah apparently this
is overarching just like your tree that's like pedophilia, sex trafficking, all the parties. This dude had cameras
in every single room of his house.
And just like Epstein would do
with the politicians
and the high-end stars,
you invite them over,
bring out a fucking smorgasbord,
cheese board of young children.
You can pluck one,
go in this room,
not knowing you're being filmed.
Or you have to pluck one. Yeah, but then they hold it against you, going, well, now you can pluck one go in this room not knowing you're or you have to pluck one
yeah but then it's they held they hold it against you going well now you can't say shit
because i got you here getting sucked off by a 14 year old and diddy apparently is doing the
same thing he's the epstein jesus christ yeah do you think this episode is going to be not
like not dark in the sense of what we're talking about but do you think we need a light right now
we need a light right now i We need a light right now?
I don't know.
I think we're still getting some good light.
How do I look?
Provia.
You've been with us over these many weeks, these past few weeks.
You know that the hair saga continues.
I've been using Provia.
How disrespectful to call that a saga.
This is our Super Bowl, dude.
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The fucking wig and lettuce you have been grooming.
When will they get cut?
Nobody.
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This view looks,
it's so beautiful, it's distracting.
Yeah, it's nice.
It's nice, you get to look at,
this is, this is perfect
for me just looking out into the distance yeah when your autism kicks in yeah it's tough to
look into the distance when there's something right in front of you now you can like a greasy
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Welcome to the day two.
What do you mean day two?
This is the second day in a row you wore that shirt.
No, I did.
I took it off before you filmed because it was too distracting to look at this.
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Yeah, we're all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks like...
I think it's going to be beautiful.
There's a big white building reflecting...
You know what it looks like?
Two 23-year-olds wearing ill-fitted van
hoosen shirts waiting for their interview at a job it's gonna suck their fucking soul yeah the
total the plants this was put together and put some fucking art up there get a fake plant even
though these are real these are nice plants i dropped a dime on plants. The plant store is unbelievable. Don't say it.
It's unbelievable.
It's not a store.
It's a nursery, right?
I don't know.
Planetarium?
What do you call it?
Nurseries.
It's a nursery.
I think it's a plant store.
It's got to be three acres, four acres.
Yeah, it's big.
Four or five different sections you you walk around with
a giant home depot carts where you look building a deck yeah loaded those in yeah and again it's
just like the the experience of shopping for plants was such a welcome break from shopping
for fucking furniture yeah or backhanding your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're so happy about the plants. I need to let these bruises heal.
Can we go shop for ferns?
Dude, it's just like, if I walked through a nursery and was like,
hey, what's, how much is that?
Can I get it?
And they were like, yeah, you can get it to you in 10 weeks.
Yeah.
I'd be like, I'm never buying a plant.
Of course.
Fuck this shit.
We had to pay. So I paid
somewhere around like
$800 worth of plants. But most
of that money came from the potters.
The potters. Planters. It's really
not that bad. I mean,
they're expensive. And they last forever.
There are pieces, Chris.
So I go up. I couldn't believe how
cheap they were, to be honest. We don't have a
car. That's the other break from furniture shopping you're like like if that's in any other store it's ten thousand
dollars well you also have to think of what's native to that area and what grows easily in
that area so la has cheaper plants than new york new york city has to get all their shit dumped in
there yeah so you're paying the surcharge on delivery to there.
So the same plant is going to be $60, $70, $80 cheaper than... I'm talking about just the potters.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, furniture shopping warps your brain
for what something's supposed to cost.
Right.
And also, at least with plant shopping,
you walk away going,
I didn't get what I needed, but it was fun.
Yeah.
You just went to a museum for a day.
It's a plant museum.
I went to a garden and just enjoyed some plants.
It's a plant aquarium.
You're staring at something you're never going to own,
but you're like, that's neat.
That's fun.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
There's so many different kinds of plants.
Anyway, this dumb bitch.
I'm into plants now.
Yeah, welcome.
I told you this a year ago, two years ago, three years ago.
If these die, I'm going to be heartbroken.
No, they won't.
This is perfect.
70 degrees.
Yeah.
You got the indirect well-lit room at some times.
Yeah.
Baby, call me.
Light in the morning is harsh.
From this distance, you're fine.
Yeah.
The refractive light is going to be fine.
Yeah, it is getting refracted, too.
Yeah, yeah.
So I go up and I'm like, what's the delivery costs?
And people still don't, if you tell them you don't have a car,
it's like you're showing up with an AK to a fucking kindergarten.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They can't fathom the idea that I don't own a vehicle.
And then they hear me speak and they're like, all right, well,
this fucking guy's vagrant.
He's looking for a job, I think.
He did get a tan real quick so she goes well it's forty
dollars for one person job eighty dollars for a two-person job so i was like all right i loaded
my cart one person yeah jack but one person i bring it up she goes okay yeah it's gonna be
two person she looks at it's gonna be a two-person job i was like for what this is all we have
yeah so i'm like trying not to argue with this fucking lessee i'm just going
no this is fine we got these three planters that aren't that heavy without the plants then we have
the plants this is one one person right she goes no it's gonna be 80 this two-person job
and then i feel like my girl's hand like on my wrist like squeezing me i'm like all right fine two two weak people you bring two of your weakest customers yes employees and yeah you should be able to pick
yeah yeah the employees yeah yeah let me test their stuff yeah you're looking for that one
russian hiding in the weeds but a wonky eye you're like that's my guy. That's one person. Yeah, that guy can do one. He's killed two people.
He's killed one person's job. He's moved bodies before.
He can move my...
Yeah, he can deadlift.
Literally.
He can move my rubber plant to...
Oh, man.
It has been weird, though.
I haven't been like...
Yeah, it's been so nice down here that it hasn't been i've i've been doing like a lot
less complaining yeah it'll pick up i know it'll pick up once i'm already settled in once i settle
in but i'm finding i'm finding reasons altercations are happening nothing in the wild but just like
with myself and in the house about stuff i'm'm just like the fucking Lyft and Uber money every day is crazy.
Yeah.
It's insane.
A month of that is insane.
And it's all my fault because I didn't get an active license.
License beforehand.
Yeah.
It's easy peasy switch if you have an active license.
Yeah.
You might still have to pay a fee to get a new license and all that,
but I had to do the fucking...
I just called today.
I got my driver's test next week.
Really?
Hopefully before we go to Houston.
The written or the...
No, the written's done.
I passed the flying colors.
I told you, I went to the...
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't know if that was just for the permit
or whether that was the whole kit and caboodle.
The permit certification that you complete at the permit course,
you show up with identificationifications uh residency proof yeah of
30 days so my girl said it there was this cute little girl younger on the left there's a giant
line of me and you know i'm a fucking chauffeur in a quinceanera it's me and 115 year old mexican
girls and i'm just in line holding all my documentation and i get to this
one bitch that was upset with life and she gave me she pulled out this pamphlet she's like you
have to be here 30 days didn't even ask me like she didn't smile once didn't say like she wasn't
cordial whereas everybody else was customer service in texas has been wonderful yeah but
it's it is that thing where it's like every once in a while you go to subway and
the wrong guys working there.
Yeah.
You weren't,
you've been to subway here.
Not here,
but I'm saying that like when you were a kid,
I would go,
I love subway.
I'll be pissed.
You're going to be fired up to go to subway and just the weird guys.
Yeah.
Just like shit coming out of his nose.
Yeah.
Like I can't fucking always piss.
There's a glass wall between touching your buttholes.
You only get some online. We didn't know that at the time i wonder if he was connected with p diddy it is weird you don't know enough about pedophiles and then you get older you're like oh
it's like gay priests or nuns growing up in catholic school you just thought they were like
a little harder you know why does she have a shaved head and why she act like that and then you get
older you're like lesbians right they were always around i i can't believe how many pedophiles there
are yeah is it just like almost automatic if you get molested and you're a dude no that's like
saying you're an automatic murder or serial killer if you were beaten right right no it just it has to have a perfect chemical situation you have to have like a few different
things and then socially you have to you like innately you have to have a few different things
wiring is a little wonky right right and all it takes is to get you know hit with sticks
by your friends and then your your father molest you or something like that
and then you start killing animals and shit maybe it's the only thing left that you can really like
control well that you can like it's the only thing left you can have like certain power over someone
with you know what i mean like yeah because way back in the day like just being like kind of like
like way back in the day you could be just like kind of like like way back in the day, you could be just like liberal and people like you're a commie.
Yeah. And now you're out. Yeah. You know, and then that's that goes away.
You know, people get less conservative, more things become OK.
And then now the only thing that you can have, you can't be like, hey, guys, guess we got to fire him.
You know, like you start just going like we got to get footage of this guy fucking a kid so that we can have the type of like is it a recent phenomenon yeah you're right
it's been an all-inclusive resort here for way too long we got to get back to our conservative
ways then yeah there were socially unacceptable things you could do back in the day yeah now it's
flipped so hard that this now is so liberal people just like you're racist yeah you're a communist you're this
you're hitler it's like dude even that's starting to go again people you know but like way like you
could be like just like you had sex out of wedlock and then you're like done yeah now now it's like
dude we need concrete yeah never gonna be okay stuff isn't it nuts that like you know i'm not
gonna talk shit on certain religions but
yeah they still there's certain religions still you know extreme christians and extreme muslims
and like they still wear the garb because man you couldn't even look at another person's wife
yeah yeah decapitate it i watched i watched a stoning yesterday dude yeah that's kind of the
only one that's really kind of fluttering me a little bit that's the only one a stoning yesterday. Dude, yeah. That's kind of the only one that's really kind of fluttering me a little bit.
That's the only one?
Yeah.
Stoning?
Yeah.
I watched a dude jump off a balcony and that was like crazy because I'm staring at one
and I can't go on your balcony anymore.
Yeah, yeah.
Because of the imp of the perverse that we've spoken about many times.
But the stoning videos are fucking hard to watch.
Well, that's working your brain on two ends.
You got a guy with a noodle arm throwing a bad rock.
That's going to be...
100%.
That knocks you off kilter.
And then the slow murder is what puts you over the edge.
You just invented an incredible TikTok.
Just two announcers analyzing the arms of locals,
local villagers throwing rocks to murder a rapist yeah guy's got a pitch
count dude i watched one where the girl apparently like this woman like cheated on her husband
yeah and they just they don't even dig holes anymore apparently well they i think you can
just accuse you can just be accused of it yeah yeah yeah if the guy's just jealous and he's a
piece of shit yeah let's see you you're taking fucking
courts to the back of your skull for an hour but depending on the village and the athleticism of
the village i guess they they kind of bring you in closer to the circle oh yeah yeah and the size
of the rocks differ too so you if you're closer you can launch a giant puddle shaker dude yeah i
bet there's some i bet there's some i bet there's some dark stories of good cricket players.
We're like, how'd you get so good at this?
Yeah.
Or the opposite.
Like the monks that retired cricket players get sent to these villages
to just throw fucking seeds at cheating wives.
Open up this chick's eardrum.
Dude, it's hard to watch.
Yeah, it's awful.
Yeah, I mean, obviously it's hard to watch.
It's fucking awful.
I'm saying for my palate.
I have a nice tolerance for death.
And maybe I'm just growing up a little bit.
Is there a piece of you that doesn't feel that it's real?
How are you doing with the chair?
I'm great, dude.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Do you feel like you need an extra pillow back there no this is perfect yeah length how do you feel with your feet touching
the ground for the first time in two and a half years well the other i really wanted the swivel
and now i'm not so sure it's a good idea no i like it it's too much you got to control you don't have
any your tootsies are out you got to get a nice base on the sneak. Yeah. It's like it's so nice to move.
It's so nice to wiggle.
You got to get these fucking working man boots when you don't work.
Yeah.
There are a lot of people talking shit about it.
You got me some of those.
I did.
Why don't you wear them?
I haven't.
It's been too hot.
No, it's not about the heat, baby.
You got to wear them in.
Yeah.
You look great in them.
You're just self-conscious.
No, I like them.
I was rocking them a little.
I was rocking them before we left.
I was rocking them. You get to a certain them before we left. I was rocking them.
You get to a certain age, you can't wear sneakers every day on stage.
You look ridiculous.
It's true.
That is true.
You know who started the Air Max 90 thing in Philly?
The revolution?
No, what was the Air Max 90?
Tommy did.
Oh, you did?
Yes, I did.
Air Max 90 was, and multicolored Air Max 90s was my thing.
Then Ian started doing it.
Yeah.
I got fucking...
I got receipts.
Really?
I got photos of me wearing that shit in 2008.
Yeah, I have a thing like that.
I feel like I started the love of the Big Lebowski.
Across the planet?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Somebody heard you talking at a bus stop yeah yeah i want to look
at the box office numbers i think it bombed until i started pushing it to my friends that movie
always ruled it did always rule and there was a massive marketing campaign behind it and i think
the coen brothers were already big at the time but did you hear shane's gonna be in happy gilmore too. Well, yeah,
this podcast just becomes a Shane rumors podcast.
That's so funny.
How come they haven't made a happy Gilmore too?
It's because Adam Sandler has too much credibility.
No,
it's in production.
Oh,
it is.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
That's why I asked him on Matt and Shane.
Oh,
dude,
that was,
he's there.
I had to fly for his big shoot.
And I was like,
that'd be Gilmore too.
I wish dude, happy Gilmore too? He's like, I wish.
Dude, happy Gilmore too.
With him?
I mean, that's more, I grew up on Sandler films.
He was younger.
You guys were younger.
But that was the peak of like the goofy, funny shit that I could watch.
Oh, dude, we all, yeah, I was, yeah, I grew up on Adam Sandler films.
They were all bangers. That's all we could quote it was Adam Sandler.
That's it.
And then it slowly became Owen Wilson stuff.
Yeah, which I never got.
I didn't fuck with any of that stuff.
After that, I didn't fuck.
Before that, it was like airplane.
Dude, like old school shit.
Yeah, Hot Shots.
Hot Shot.
Unbelievable movie.
Hot Shots, part due. Part due to part due d-a-u-x
i can't believe you you you knew that movie i was so proud of you when she takes the
the birthmark off her face my favorite was when he's trudging through like the cow shit
in the fields oh that's uh that's hot shots in the fields. Oh, that's... That's Hot Shots 1, isn't it?
No, no, that's...
Oh, you're right.
Whatchamacallit.
God damn it.
I can't believe I'm forgetting it now.
What happened?
With that blonde dude.
And the boots come out of nowhere
and he thinks he's getting caught by like the Nazis.
Yeah.
And he looks up and he's just a pair of boots.
We've talked about this movie many times.
I can't believe I'm fucking forgetting it.
That's the one I was very impressed with.
Yeah.
And I forget the name.
Val Kilmer.
Yeah.
Val Kilmer.
Early Val Kilmer. Yeah, that one's fucking awesome. When they're parachuting down and having a relationship conversation the one i was very impressed with yeah and i forget the name val kilmer yeah val kilmer early
val kilmer yeah that one's fucking awesome when they're parachuting down and having a relationship
conversation and there's a fireplace on a parachute all that shit as a kid got me so hard
so brilliant damn val kilmer that poor guy he got that cancer and went bye-byes yeah he was great yeah he was and he apparently although he
made that documentary he seemed like kind of a i didn't i was so upset i watched it yeah being
val or something yeah and the guy was filming he was like a tiktoker before he was living in a
content house just filming himself all day long and everything he did and then he collected all
these things and they made a movie out of it and i was like wow i thought you were just chill and
then showed up on set and fucking destroyed filming everything all the time was cool though
when i think back in the day i feel like it was nobody had a fuck if i if i knew one guy that had
a camcorder we wouldn't be friends with him because we would berate him for being rich.
I know.
But like my one buddy got like a shitty digital camera and like was we would always be recording stuff and we'd be like, dude, stop.
So annoying.
And and then at the like our senior year, he made like a huge compilation of just us getting fucked up.
Yeah.
And you're like, thank you for that.
Yeah.
Thank God. Thanks for annoying me for a year i can show this to nobody yeah dude if you're if you're diligent with it yeah they're the only time if you keep it secret in the 80s and 90s
we started there's like footage of me in football as a peewee yeah and it was because this one guy
had a camera he's like the guy, and he would film our championships
and big games and stuff.
Yes.
And I'm grateful that that exists, but, like, nobody, we have zero,
like, my dad has, like, six pictures.
Two of them are his license and his marriage.
Like, we weren't a picture-taking family,
so I was very turned off by all that shit.
Yeah, same.
And I got, like, really high anxiety when they're like,
all right, let's get a picture for whatever main event.
It wasn't, like, daily stuff.
Yeah.
Which is why I'm so bad at it.
I'm trying to be good.
The producers are pushing us to, like, do content
outside of this gay shit.
I know, I know.
But you always go, live in the moment.
Just fucking enjoy it right now.
Yeah, but then you forget everything
because you're too fucked up.
Then you realize you're an alcoholic.
Yeah, three margaritas and I forgot Cuba real quick.
And you wish you had a picture.
Do what you were saying last night.
You see a picture of your parents and they're like...
Yeah, we were showing each other a picture.
They were on a trip somewhere.
You're like, you guys went on...
Where'd you go on a trip? Yeah, think that's gonna be so dull because everybody's
gonna have a billion fucking pictures of everything they've ever done and it's like we're out of
pictures man yeah that'll be interesting though who cares like when these little sluts that are
taking videos and starbucks, when they get older,
they're going to be showing their kids, like,
ew, mom, like, what are you doing?
Oh, dude, I mean, if we have kids
and they see this, this is going to be
this is going to be fucking insane.
Yeah, true.
This is going to be insane.
So embarrassing.
How do you explain what's happening here?
You don't give them a phone until you die.
It's in my will.
Yeah.
That's the benefit of having children at my age and i'm gonna defend myself on this i'm gonna write a bit
about it but like being 44 wanting to start a family like 45 yeah by the time they're older
like 18 20 baby i'm gone i don't mean dead i hope i'm still alive but like i don't give a shit bub here's a hundred
dollars fuck off with your black boyfriend i've got no problems nothing's wrong i'm in my own
little lair i don't care i'm one to ten might be the greatest years you know that's when you want
to give all your love to your child and they give it back you start getting early teens i just know
from my nieces and friends and cousins and everybody,
that's when they start thinking they're somebody and they're a piece of shit
and they don't know yet.
20s, you don't know shit.
You think you're a person.
You're not.
30s are when you start going, if you're a good person, you go,
oh, now I need to rewrite this ship.
Yeah.
I'm supposed to be this guy in this world and I want to do this for the society
or for my family.
In 40s, you just engage, lose the excess weight in your life.
All the friends that aren't there, they don't matter.
Cut them loose.
Cut them loose.
Start living for yourself and for your close loved ones and your family.
50s and 60s.
Buddy, it's me time.
I'm talking, I'll sand a boat that's not mine no you're gonna be raising
kids yeah i know but yeah that's all i care about right right you know what i mean so like you have
kids late 20s early 30s you still have things you care about that you won't when you're 50 or 60
yeah you might be on to something here i think it's like you either have a kid at 18 or you have a kid at 40 yeah yeah i mean
it's more safe no because if you haven't been 18 by the time you're 36
you're cruising true you're done but yeah but what you're providing for this person from 18 to 36 is
probably exhausting and horrible yeah and you're you're not yet a person, so you're going to act accordingly because you're a child.
But you're going to be like the old guy.
You ever see that one courtroom thing with the nice-
You think I'm driving?
The nice judge?
No, you're going to be-
I'm in the back of a pickup truck like this.
Slow down!
You made me spill twice!
You're just an 18-year-old jackass son who's like, my dad's the man, dude.
Yeah.
My dad, he let us drink in the house.
Yeah, of course.
He let us do whatever future drug.
Yeah, I'm going to have a moat around my house so I can hear him splashing when they try
and go out and get fingered in the woods.
It is a thing where it's like you got to imagine on some level for parents, it's got to be
exhausting most of the time, but on some level, it's got to be on some level for parents, it's gotta be exhausting most of the time,
but on some level it's gotta be fun catching kids.
Yeah.
Fucking around.
Yeah.
Being a detective.
I'm not saying sexual stuff.
I'm just saying like trying to sneak out.
Yeah.
Trying to fucking drink beers.
Catching them has gotta be a fun.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah.
The experiences I've had in life with sex,
drugs and rock and roll.
It's going to take a mile to get past me.
My father,
every time he knew when we were drinking at the golf in the woods,
golf course at kegs,
he knew we were drinking in grade school.
He knew when we were like fucking off and he kept his reach.
Cause as long as your mother doesn't know,
and as long as you're not doing it too much,
right.
Too often or too dangerous with a certain group of kids,
he let me become my person.
He let me experience life.
Right.
But if my mother knew, whew, boy.
My mother put my brother in AA when he was like 18.
Yeah.
Because he was just being an 18-year-old.
Yeah, yeah.
So scared.
So we had the balance of overprotective and social life.
And then a dad who's been through hell and knows he can read.
Well, that is the good boundary.
Yeah, right.
Because it does illuminate a path.
Yeah.
Which is like, I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So I know what you're doing.
Yeah.
And you're going to do it.
So I get it.
You could swim this far, but there's sharks there.
Yeah.
And you got to come back out of the water.
And once your mom knows.
Yeah.
I get activated.
And also because you're fucking me.
The glass breaks and I come out and I break you.
I pulled that fucking.
Yeah.
So it's like, that's where.
Firelight's going off.
Yeah.
Go have fun.
Yeah.
If she finds out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go have fun. Yeah. If she finds out, you're fucked.
I also...
I have a theory that, like, a lot of that anger...
Shane always tells that story about his dad going nuts on him
when he disrespected the mother, his mom.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
When he, like, totally loses his shit.
And normally he's cool with, like, the ribbon and all that stuff,
but he went too far.
Yes. I feel like men men they like their peace and if they're at a peaceful place even though it's kind of mayhem
with the children and the whole lot if you start fucking with the mom then the mom has to start
fucking with my peace as a dad true so if you get out of line it's not so much just to to you know to protect my wife
right and respect her from your disrespect teach you a lesson but now the lesson's going to be
bigger because you're fucking up my piece right now well it's also now my now my garage beers
aren't for two hours yeah yeah and i got a fucking issue and you open yourself up to all kinds of manhood
questions which it's like you just that's hell on earth yeah you know what i mean you can't
control your boys yeah yeah fucking yeah dude and it's like you're gonna let him act like that
that's why i've been telling you for years that's rocket fuel for dads yeah yeah that's so true fuck
go get the flamethrower
little Ricky's
getting a lesson in them
yeah
yeah it's like
it's questioning
your like virility
it's like
you think I want to do this
you've let things
yeah
I just wanted to go to the park
have a catch
now I gotta beat the fuck out of you
because it's also
you backlogged
all the nights
where your dad's sitting around
having a drink yeah and your mom's going I think I think they're doing something yeah right I think it's also, you backlogged all the nights where your dad's sitting around having a drink.
Yeah.
And your mom's going, I think they're doing something.
Yeah, right.
I think it's wrong.
Now she's got to fucking.
And he's going, they're fine.
They're being kids.
Yeah.
Don't fucking lose your mind.
Just relax.
And that goes on for years until you do genuinely fuck up.
And she goes, I told you.
She's got a whole box of I told you's. She's just pulling
them out. Remember when I told you?
They're all barking.
Like unruly puppies.
And here's another I fucking told you.
Christmas last year.
Threw up.
I told you.
He was drinking Bailey's Irish Cream in the basement.
Rick. No, he was
sick. He was sick. He Irish Cream in the basement. Rick. No, he was sick.
He was sick.
He had a long basketball game.
They were on the road for the playoffs.
We don't want to do.
Pizza Hut, probably have too much grease.
Get off his ass.
Get off my ass.
Fuck.
There's no way this isn't dark.
It's getting there. Yeah, it's dark as hell.
It's getting there.
It's all right.
Where are we at?
What time was? We're in a learning phase. Yeah. We're in a nice spot. it's getting there yeah it's dark as hell it's getting there it's alright where are we at time wise
we're in a
we're in a learning phase
yeah
we're in a nice spot
you're gonna watch
the sun go down on us
Jesus Christ
god damn it
where's your sun
it's a blowjob joke
you like that
so I'm hanging out
with Ian and David
for a day
I do wanna have
a natural light podcast is kind of nice.
Yeah, it's ideal, but it never fucking happens.
It's so finicky.
Also, it's setting over there, so there's nothing.
Well, it'd be worse if it was setting that way.
I'd be getting blasted.
We'd also have to film in this location at 12 to 2.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not talking into a mic before 5 p.m.
Do you think this is dead?
Do you think this is dying?
No, just let it go.
It's sun exposure.
That's too much sun?
Yeah.
If it's all like that,
it's over-watering or under-watering.
You just have to rotate this plant.
Yeah, yeah.
Or you could move it to a different spot.
You'll be fine.
Just don't overwater.
It looks healthy.
I hope it booms.
This boy is easy as fuck.
You don't have to do
anything to this.
Just don't overwater.
Yeah, they're easy as hell.
My palm.
That makes me happy.
My palm makes me smile
every time I see it.
Yeah, you got a nice palm
in the corner.
Oh, boy.
And that Monstera I have
is different than the Monstera
we had.
It's a different strain. It's thick. Yeah leaves split and i found out my girl told me this
monstera leaves split due to sun exposure so the ones that i thought they were different like uh
i thought they were different species of monstera's yeah because the ones that split
so it looks like some's have a leaf like this
and then others have like this.
Yeah.
And it's all from how much sun they're getting
during their growth period.
And the one I have right now has like the splits
and then has holes along the spine.
It's art.
And that's cool?
That's good?
Oh, yeah, baby.
Holes along the spine.
It's like a flute?
Yeah.
What's a Monstera look like?
We had it in our house.
I don't know, but I still don't know.
Behind the couch.
Oh, yeah.
Behind your head.
Oh, yeah.
They split like that?
Yeah.
Yours has solid leaves.
Yeah, they're huge.
No.
The one in Astoria did because it wasn't getting proper sun.
Growing rights.
Okay.
They grow like weeds.
They're very easy.
Very low light.
Moderate temperature, 70, 65 to 75.
Yeah, these are great.
They got big prehistoric leaves.
And they're very easy to care for.
And they take up a lot of space.
Damn.
Kind of looks like a sick logo.
That's what mine are doing.
That's the holes on the spine.
And that's good?
It's beautiful.
It is beautiful, but is it good yes
does that mean what is it what's that for what why why the holes i guess to allow more sunlight
to the their lower brothers and sisters yeah it's a good guess that is a good guess that is a good
guess because they're taking all the fucking meal yeah they're having all the steak right a little
bit of sunlight from my brother Rick.
Yeah, it's like how people set up the things down here
where they don't have the solid roof,
like the solid awning over the patio.
They build those slatted.
So you get a little bit of shade as the sun's going.
It's not solid, just fucking beach.
We got to get to your pool pool Your pool is nice as hell
The pool is nice
What do you think next week?
I would've liked to do it today
Thursday I think
Is gonna be a nice day
We're going to
Thursday's gonna be a nice pool
We should shout out real quick
Our dates
You got the dates?
I've got some of them
On the top of my head
April 4th Fuck that through the 6th,
we're going to be doing the Riot Comedy Festival in Houston.
Then the 10th, we're going to be in Addison, Texas.
And the 11th, we're going to be...
Yeah, the Addison Improv in Dallas, Texas.
And then the 11th, we're going to be in Austin, Texas.
Yeah, we set these dates not knowing we were going to live in Texas,
so we thought that would be a fun little treat to come see Shane. Yeah, we'd be like, we're going to be in Austin, Texas. Yeah, we set these dates not knowing we were going to live in Texas, so we thought that would be a fun
retreat to come see Shane.
Start there in the middle of the country.
Yeah, now it's playing a home game.
Now we're walking to the show.
Well, Houston will be nice. Have you been
to Houston? Yes, I did
a theater with Shane in Houston.
In San Antonio. Oh, yeah.
I haven't been to San Antonio.
San Antonio's nice. I heard the Alamo is yeah. I haven't been to San Antonio. San Antonio's nice.
I heard the Alamo is sick.
I heard the Riverwalk is sick.
The Alamo, I told you yesterday,
is like you're going to the middle of Iowa to see a giant popsicle stick in the fucking ground.
It's like, dude, there it is.
It is cool.
Is there any battle?
Unless you're a dude jerking off the history like Shane.
It's like, cool.
You can't get in there.
Also, when we went there, it was under construction like restorative construction yeah yeah so they blocked it
off you couldn't even see luckily our hotel room was right across the street they do that thing
that 30th street station does where they just put like a yeah a big blanket with an image of
30th street station what is to come no not even just what it was dude they would just have the columns outside
just on like a burlap bag do you remember that building that they they tore down at our story
location on the corner for the last year yeah yeah yeah and they put up the futuristic apartment
building that's coming into historia yeah and it said in cursive graffitiing it just said get out get the fuck out you gentrifying
scum yeah i was like hell yeah and they went all right yeah they literally like stopped they
stopped yeah they were digging that hole in like 2021 yeah and i haven't touched it it's funny i
was there for like a decade and i read that and I was like, yeah, get the fuck out of here.
Oh, dude.
I thought about it.
I was like, that's me.
I'm the guy.
No.
Well, you're not.
I mean, I guess.
But it's like we're not bringing, at least we weren't.
No, by the end.
We still aren't bringing like big money into the area.
No, no, no, no.
By the end of it, it started turning into Brooklynites and stuff.
You started seeing like multic-colored dyed hair beta males
walking around with fucking new yorker tote bags and i'm like that's the problem dude we're from
like i'm the i'm not your fucking problem i'm a regular guy that was that was the thing with like
south by southwest yeah where it's horrendous it felt like brooklyn it's all people were like it's
not normally like this We were like Yeah
Yeah
The whole fucking festival
I've seen this area
It's all industry
Pussies
And fucking corny
NPR
Dick
Bags
I'm trying not to say
Something real bad
But boy do they bring out
The stars
You mean a guy that had
A failed sketch show 30 years ago
Wasn't fucking running the tickets
They bring out all the stars
Go to stuffislandpod.com
For our tour dates
And
That's it
Yeah yeah this episode is going to be a little short
No it's not
Yeah
Because we did ads up front
Yeah but the ads's going to be a little short. No, it's not. Yeah. Because we did ads up front.
Yeah, but the ads are added to this.
Yeah.
All right, we'll just keep talking. I thought that said 60.
Yeah, I guess it's true.
It'll be 57.
It won't be a full hour of content.
Well, let's fucking give them what they want.
It won't be a solid one hour of content.
Give them what they're not paying for, Chris.
Let's give them a full hour.
Dude, I watched the movie.
Relax.
Yeah, I watched the movie Vertigo.
You're going to end on a fucking movie?
You know you do this for 10 minutes.
You're going to tell us every step of the way with nothing.
No, no, I was just going to say it was a lot weirder than I remember.
The whole second half of the movie is him just trying to convince a girl to dress like a different girl.
And it's not cool.
He's bullying this bitch and they're dressing the way he wants her to.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like, look like this. Dye this hair. D hair dye your hair i bet he had a girl come on he met on a
vacation somewhere that was his optimal this is alfred hitchcock alfred hitchcock wrote this so
that okay so alfred hitchcock was fucking a taiwanese girl yeah that fat pervert and he
probably said this is the look i want because I can only come with this look.
And then he met a girl that he wanted to be with who had a good inside, a good mind, a good heart.
Right.
Good character.
Right.
Integrity, all of it.
Now I need you to just dress like this little Cambodian fuck queen.
Yeah, put on this little gray suit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like old white men who walk around with dainty little Asian girls.
Pedophile. Yeah. Now you just got to dress up your doll
that's always weirded me out yeah like that kind of stuff where someone's like
change your hair completely it's like that kind of shit spooks me a little bit. Yeah, also like the whole, you can coerce a loved one into being like,
I like this style better.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I like this look on you.
Yeah.
But you can't, like my girl's 14 years younger than me.
I can't wear skater pants the way you grew up on.
I'm never going to fucking dress the way guys of your...
100%. You know what I mean? And I wouldn't want them to. It's weird. But people do that. way you grew up on you know i'm never gonna fucking dress the way guys of your 100 you know
what i mean and i wouldn't want them to it's weird right but people do that people are like i want you
to dress like this i've had guys that were like not really close friends but friends of friends
were like you see them totally shift when they get into a new relationship yeah and they start
dressing like a complete fucking right right there were their keys are on a carabiner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just like, dude, what are you doing?
Yeah.
I'm wearing salmon shorts.
I don't know where a boat shoes.
What's crazy is they have to start,
like the subject that you choose to do that to
has to have no friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Or friends that care about you to bully the fuck out of you.
Yeah.
Or be like, what?
Yeah. Well, you can't wear, or be like, what? Yeah.
You can't wear that.
What are you wearing?
Yeah.
It's like me walking in with Spurs the first week I get to fucking Austin.
I do want to get some Spurs.
No, I'm going to fuck with Cowboys.
Eventually, I do want the boots.
Yeah.
Because I've always loved to snap up Levi, that country style shirt,
but I don't do the lapels with like designs that's too much yeah
i like the classic cowboy look with like wranglers and like a nice like rustic i don't know how you
say it the snap you know what i'm saying with the snap buttons they have like the little yeah yeah
it's like the version that was like marketed to towards like east coast people is that my crazy
no it's southwestern in a way
southwestern style that made its way towards i would like the all dental like this color
full kit oh dude call my dad i said this many times my father every like decade comes back
in this style so hot because he never he's never changed but like he'll start wearing denim on denim with like
a thick plaid shirt yeah like a flannel yeah and it goes away and you're like you look like
the biggest fucking idiot and then when you start wearing like oh dad can i borrow your clothes damn
dude yeah i did steal a couple shirts are you gonna going to get one of the thin, the bolo tie? No, I can never.
Oh, you can and you will.
The bolo tie would only be used as a sex instrument around my dingles.
Just tighten that up underneath your ball sack and your bird hangs out and it's got a little ball underneath.
Yeah.
But you can't see it until you get hard.
Is that going to be like, is that a new, are you on the front end of some new, like girls like getting choked?
Dudes are going to like want the balls choked. That's kind of sick, actually.
Maybe we'll ask the producers to cut that and we'll look at the trademark.
Bolo boners.
Yeah.
Choke my balls.
Choke my balls a little bit.
Choke my balls, yo.
All right.
All right.
See you on the page.
The parachio.