Stuff Island - Poolside - Stuff Island #254
Episode Date: October 7, 2026Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, fol...ks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster at https://RocketMoney.com/STUFF Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code STUFFISLAND You will also receive an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit https://www.BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
We begin another episode of Stuff Island.
I didn't say anything bad.
Just started a little fucking, a little josh.
Yeah, yeah.
A little fire up in the morning, josh.
I feel like what every, every podcast listener wants to hear is actually the 10 minutes before the podcast.
I'm doing 100%.
That should be the podcast.
Everyone's fighting for that.
Yeah.
10 before, 20 after.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cut it short, I want to hear what they're actually talking about and what they can say live on YouTube.
Well, we don't pull any punches.
We don't.
We don't curse.
Yeah, yeah.
Josh isn't racist.
But we do cloak our daggers.
I was saying, dude.
Yeah.
There's a few bullets in my lacrosse clubs.
Dude, shout out fucking Seattle and Portland showing.
up. Yeah, you guys came out.
Also, can I shout out a bunch of shows?
Yeah. San Diego. A.C. That whole
club was fucking amazing.
You in downtown
San Diego, dude. You versus
the bums. Do I got fucking
cooked. Oh, yeah.
This is coming back to life, but
holy Christmas. Oh, yeah. Dude, it's like
Desert Sun out there. They shared
a fucking video, a montage
of picks, and I couldn't
share. I looked ridiculous.
What do you mean? This woman
Kathy.
She was an 80-year-old
fucking monster
of a woman in the best way.
She was like the
photographer.
Kind of what you don't want.
She was like the mayor of the pool.
Oh, you're
staying, you're pool side.
Pool side. Oh, I went to the pool, yeah.
And Kathy was there on business
or pleasure?
Kat was all business.
I was all pleasure,
her house
got fucking demolished from the upstairs
neighbor running their fucking water or some
shit. I don't know he's the tub fucking ran down.
Yeah, you got the whole story. Her drive. Well, I got it.
Oh my God. I got Kathy's backstory.
Was in three-way calls, dude.
So she's making
a stink trying to talk to everybody. And it's
like, yeah, I get it. She's an old lady. She's
wearing a fucking rice paddy hat. She's got
a leotard on. She's...
It's a good outfit. She's a great outfit.
Kathy is the Irish skin.
Yeah, Irish skin. She knows how to defend
herself. Everything's falling out like a ball of yogurt.
it's like she's she have the bathing suit with like the extra piece that's like a permanent towel
right she's got to protect herself
oh my god man
no more of that all right all right so she's
fucking 11 you know you know when somebody like once wants to talk wants the attention
usually they get in the pool and then find their way to you to start she starts
from the walk from her cabana she's got the only umbrella she got there early she gets up she's
moan and making noises so everybody has to look over she every step is ah ah ah and then she hits the railing
which is fucking piping hot maybe 186 she goes ah looks and then rubbernecks to anyone that's within
the within the vicinity and goes 92 it's gonna get up to 92 today and i knew she was gonna be a
fucking problem. She rolled two
of these sponge weights to the side of the
pool and then just started doing this shit.
Just started wading
towards me. She's doing workouts.
Oh yeah, water weights, dude.
Kathy getting it.
Kathy's fucking on it.
We start talking, she goes, what's in the
cup?
Oh, yeah.
Policing.
I went, yeah, it's a mescal soda. She goes,
I saw the cut water. And I went,
what? She's 80.
Yeah. But she knows.
I took
Two cutwaters from my hotel.
Kathy like a hippo that fucking.
I start paddled face, dude.
Can't out wrong cat, dude.
She's got a water weights.
Dude, when I tell you, I hid this cut water,
not from security, you're like a lifeguard or anything like that,
because there was a bar that was active.
I hide the cut water in between these two chairs.
for shade.
There's no fucking
shade.
So I'm like,
I got to keep this
thing cool for my second drink.
I feel like to the rest of the pool
there's almost no daylife
between me and Gatheon.
Let me tell you some.
Just a pool boy coming up and be like,
sure, you can't have
outside beverages.
Well,
we got an active bar over there.
You're not wrong.
But dude,
by day two,
I was.
Kathy. I was wearing a
fucking three-piece bathing suit.
I had a little dinghy around my crotch.
So she goes,
this is walking on the line.
I swear to God, let me get to it.
So the cup water is in between the chairs.
You couldn't find this fucking thing.
It's like the highlights magazine growing up.
You had to find like a key in the bark of a tree
and then circle it.
You know that?
and uh
and cat goes
cut water
huh
and her big
fucking dice are hanging out
they're all different colors
there's moss on them
and I go
yeah
you saw that
she goes oh yeah
I see everything
this girl's sharp
this woman sharp
she goes you know I got upstairs
so after like drink two
she goes
I got some surge
upstairs
oh yeah
and I know what she was talking about
I was like
cut water surge
and at the same time we both went
8%
8% ABV dude
I was like
this bitch rules she goes
I'm gonna go get some this is like
two hours later I'm gonna go get some
I went you don't have to do that cat
she gets out the pool
same way
pool drops like two feet
getting out of the bathroom
there's a log
of shit floating
She gets up, gets her cabana, puts her rice paddy hat on again,
and now she's got a cane.
And she's limp and I'm like, Jesus Christ, I just told this lady to go get,
cut water, not cut water, fucking white claw surges from her hotel room with a cane.
Surge is costing her a leg.
And I'm like, I'll never see this woman again.
I'll never see this woman again.
Sure enough.
A half hour later, black bag, she's yelling as soon as she gets through the gate.
I'm just mind of my own fucking business
not talking to anybody else.
She goes, I got him Tommy.
I got him.
And then we just got wrecked in the sun,
dude.
We got wrecked in the sun.
This bitch would she had no off switch.
Next day, did it again.
As soon as I saw Kath,
Kat!
We were hanging out.
Also, the fucking weights,
they're legit.
No, I know.
They're legit.
And the phone ones, the resistance was crazy.
I know.
I was getting ham.
those things. I did them in college after
I got fat.
After the cheese diet? Yeah, yeah.
Dude, I was 205
and I had to start in the water.
I had to start the water,
man, get it back down.
Start in the water like a geriatric.
Yeah.
You go to the doctor, you're like, you can't go right
to the winks. You got to hit aqua.
No, the knees can't take it.
The knees are not used to this
Wait, you need to get, you need to be in, you know, point five G's.
Dude, she was, she was so, she was so, she was so, she was so, she was so fun, man.
God, yeah, that's why I got that.
Surge, that's Popeye spinach for Kathy.
How quickly did that cane go away?
You know what?
Dude, she.
One surge, that cane, she probably threw it.
One layer came off.
Honestly, when she goes, I got surge upstairs in my room, I was like, this bitch trying to fuck.
definitely yeah 100% because she started like commenting on other men
and then she handed me she handed me three beers
it pissed you off three surges it's not better looking at me
yeah what she got that i don't hold him three surges
cath cath yeah i see her cath i see her cath i see her cath
she gave me three of them i was like no just one one's fine she goes i don't like this
flavor it was like blueberry she also
knew. She knew you needed three. She didn't grease me up. Right. It's not her first radio.
Yeah, yeah. She's, she's, she's been poolside before.
This wasn't her first. Pool audio.
Dude, that is so funny that, just that type of socializing where you don't know anyone, but you just loud until.
Someone says hi. Yeah. Yeah. Insane.
I had I ran into the Portland version of that.
Yeah.
Dude, you would have lost your mind.
Outdoors?
No.
On the train.
Oh.
Took the train from Seattle to Portland.
It's beautiful, right?
Like, it is beautiful.
And we wound up like, my girl was with me.
We wound up taking like one of the like cross country trains.
Yeah.
So there was an observation deck.
Right.
where it just like, ceiling windows.
Yeah, yeah.
And full sun move.
It's unbelievable.
Huge, just beautiful views of rainier like the whole way.
We're sitting there.
Get to Tacoma.
Oh, boy.
That's where they, that's where they, that's, that's, I know, you remember.
You remember.
That's where we put all the rescue pups for humans.
They're fucking animals.
Tacoma.
We hit Tacoma.
on this guy gets on sits where all the seats are kind of in a row there's little like pairs of
seats and then there's like a single in this corner this guy gets on he looked it's one of the
saddest things i've ever seen he looked like he was old and felt like second or third generation
money yeah you know yeah where
like he didn't do anything
he's two generations
into no one doing anything
with their lives just living off
money yeah he's
shitfaced
fat gray hair
bald he he sits down
kicks his shoes
off Jesus Christ
dude he's got like swollen
there was no mountain pretty enough that I wouldn't
change fucking cars he dude
he goes
he immediately goes downstairs
gets a bottle of wine
two whiskeys
a whole like you know they have those paper boxes
fills that up with hot dogs
cheeseburgs potato chips
yeah it's a cartoon
unbelievable
walks to the corner
walks back to his seat he did this barefoot
mind you he had taken his shoes off
and walked downstairs
to the like
what was he when sandals
like tivas
no no no he had
sneakers like like fat people thick cushion sneakers you know what i mean with no socks yeah it's too
restricting unbelievable keeps them hot takes them off so my girl's already like yeah yeah and i'm just like
don't look at him this guy he starts eating a hot dog dude the mustard is just like on his face
he downs his bottle of wine and the whiskies in 15 minutes no
Yeah. He's a wreck.
He's got mustard all over his chin, and he's in a swively chair in the corner, literally like this.
Squeaking.
Yeah, no, no, not squeaking, just going, everyone that walks by, do I recognize you?
No.
Just to start conversation, and everyone's like, wow.
Every old guy that walks by and he goes, hey, hey.
And the guy would be like, what?
He just goes, Jerry.
It was unbelievable.
Dude, at one point,
we, dude, at one point, my palms are sweating.
Dude, at one point we stopped, right?
My girl had gone to the bathroom or something.
He's finished all his food.
And it was literally like the fucking Monty Python sketch
where the guy was like,
eating and puking.
Like, this guy was unbelievable.
He's sitting there.
He finishes a Coke zero.
I look over and he's,
He's going like this and he's got,
he's got only like two teeth.
And he crunches the Coke zero and he goes,
yeah.
Oh my God.
And he starts drooling like,
like, like small vomit onto himself.
It was insane.
Dude.
My girl,
my girl goes to the fucking conductor and is like,
yo,
you got to do something about this guy.
And the guy comes over and just leans in and he goes,
we got a 4-280.
They got a number for this.
Dude, and then just walks away.
Yeah, we got a fat in 13-4.
After that, another, like, old guy, another old guy, like,
actually, like, kind of, like, barely hanging on there.
Like, this guy, another old guy walks by,
and he's just like,
he clearly like been in shape in his life,
but is now,
yeah, he's hurting.
He's old.
Yeah.
And this guy's,
he's walking like,
and the dude goes,
hey,
oh,
and the guy turns around,
and he's like,
come here for a second.
And he walks over,
and the guy,
this old guy,
who can barely walk,
just leans in and goes,
they let you out in public like this?
Fuck yes, dude.
And then just walk.
walks away.
It was,
that was the only reprieve I got.
That guy made it all the way to fucking,
guy made it all the way to Portland.
And then,
you know,
that Portland train station.
Dude,
it's,
it's Atlantic City level
where when you go back to it,
you're like,
I can't believe,
when you're arriving at the station,
you're like,
it's not as crazy as I remember it.
Yeah.
Like,
I just,
I blew it up in my head,
how ridiculous.
Yeah.
You get off and it's nothing
but furries and trans.
People and needles everywhere.
Different color hair.
It's unbelievable how concentrated.
You literally get off.
I do.
I've experienced it enough times at this point.
I swear to got off.
I got off and I was like, just give me a second.
Just give me a second.
I know this is what it's going to be, but come on.
Yeah.
This can't be real.
It feels like an act.
Yeah.
I told my girl, I was like, wait, do you see?
A carnival.
Yeah.
It's an absolute fucking carnival.
She was like, dude,
eyes as big as dinner place.
Dude,
when I first moved to New York,
my train ride from the
Lower East Side
to jump into Williamsburg,
that's how I thought it was.
Yeah.
It's like you get out,
there's dudes like on a unicycle.
It's like Disney World.
It's like you enter a whole different,
you know,
you're looking to purchase tickets
and wait in line for a ride.
Yes.
It's like this is what this is your life.
This is what you call normal.
It's fucking behaviors.
It's nuts.
No one's talking shit.
It's,
it's,
it's one of those things where I kind of
admired it.
Yeah.
I was like,
there's nobody here who can be like,
no,
Portland used to be like fun.
Yeah.
It's like,
no,
no, no.
It's still,
dude,
a guy's speeding to work
in a hoodie.
And a backpack on like one of those single wheels.
Yeah, of course.
Just standing, just ripping.
You're like,
didn't you have a concern about getting knocked off, hit,
gun it.
It was like,
you can't believe it.
Dude,
if you drove,
if you rode a bike in my neighborhood with a helmet,
you were getting fucking a costume.
I'm launching an egg,
a fucking rock.
You're getting called.
It's like, and that's just normal.
Yes.
The confidence these people have, it's like, did you not have a dad?
It's every one of those kids, they're raised by three moms.
It's like, it's insane.
No one's ever said you look fucking ridiculous.
They have and they've all moved to there where they don't do that.
It's a reservation for.
That's my fault.
No, you got me going, dude.
Dude, there was peanut butter on my balls.
You could have used a different analogy.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
You just cut the back end off of that, you know what I mean?
Just that one word.
Yeah, reservations is fine.
It's, I mean, it really is, you can't believe it.
No, it's true.
Everyone is strange.
Yeah.
Everyone.
And again, no judgment.
Live your life.
Yeah, of course.
Be happy, but everyone is a, like, chimera.
Yeah.
It's all half something, half something else.
Yeah.
The haircut is, even the haircut's half a haircut.
Like, it's, it's everything is.
Half colored half.
It's just everything is, uh, yeah, is got a twist.
It's truly, I don't know if you remember, like, uh, seeing like, uh,
animated characters in human form
like when they put like Homer Simpson
or Marge or their kids
to look more human but still have the
animated shapes
the whole city is a fucking
live cartoon it's truly
you could only animate this
these people don't exist in real life
I know and the density of it
too yeah is so
is staggered
it's it's
99%
strange. Yes.
It's really...
Also, that's probably why the comedy shows out there
are fucking fantastic. Well, the thing is...
Because the people that are normal were like,
give me something. Yeah. Well, the...
I'm tired of this. Tacoma Comedy Club
is unbelievable. We had
such a blast. That's what's awesome is
the fans are people that come in
from the exterior. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
They break the wall. It's a pilgrimage
in. Yeah. And they go...
I'm with you, brother.
I'm with you.
Because outside, like, that's why it's like it's sick to live there.
Like, everything around there is fucking incredible.
Yeah.
It's the most beautiful landscape.
Well, you got to put up in a woods.
You can possibly imagine.
People got to be in the woods.
People got to be in a woods.
You got to be in the woods out.
Cat, give me a water.
Give me a water.
Cat, get me with a pool bag.
To have this level of criticism of Portland people,
just in a San Diego pool.
Just barring an 80-year-old's fucking foam waste.
These are no joke, yeah.
Calf, I'm talking to say.
He's in no joke.
I was talking shit.
I was talking shit.
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Literally word for word.
Word for word is exactly what I say.
I want, these are no joke.
I swear to God, dude.
Shotgun in my mouth,
lie detector test.
It's exactly what I said.
I can't believe.
You weren't kidding.
These are great.
She goes,
that's good.
That's good.
A little shoulder re-ed.
Dude, what a legend.
Shout out Kath.
I invited her in my wedding.
I swear to God.
Oh, yeah.
So she comes into his...
Just showing up with a black bag full of surges.
Another story.
I'd be...
Kathy Applesies.
I'd be so grateful.
She walks up, she goes, you know, there's a wedding at four on the second floor.
And I went, what do you mean?
She was, I just talked to this other guy because she's bopping.
After a while, she's bopping.
She's got to talk to another pack of fucking strangers.
She goes, four o'clock on the second floor.
There's a wedding.
You want to go?
Want to crash?
You ever done it?
Of course she goes, and I brought a nice dress too.
And I was like, dude, you're fucking unbelievable.
That is, I, I'm gonna be honest here.
That to me is dream hotel scenario.
100%!
It's like the movie Cedar Rapids.
Yeah.
What's that?
What's that?
Please make the short.
Don't tell us the whole fucking movie.
No, it's the comedy movie where they all go for like a, like a convention.
It's like a real estate convention or something.
But there's always, there's like the one person who's like,
I know everything that's happening in the hotel, the entire.
weekend. Yeah, yeah. You know, like, you talk to the front desk and you know everything that's
happening there. Yeah. There's a wedding at four o'clock on the second floor is like, yeah, Kathy,
I love it. I mean too. I wish I could make a castle the shows. I just want to hang with cats.
I don't know what you're doing. I've been thinking about. I want to follow you on this adventure.
You're not going to leave the grounds. I go, when you're getting home, she goes, ah, I'll find out like
Thursday maybe, but I don't think I'm going to be back for a couple months.
I go, they're putting you up.
She goes, yeah.
$50 a night.
And I was like, that's fucking incredible.
She goes, I thought that was a lot.
What do you pay?
This is a nice hotel.
She goes, what are you paying?
I was like, it's like 300?
Average?
Yeah, it's about like $1,500.
She goes, you want to search?
You need to drink more.
That's a shame.
She was the fucking best, dude.
That's awesome.
That's kind of what you want, though.
You know, as long as they're not annoying the way, the way your experience was.
Like, she, she was a fucking dog.
That's, well, that's the thing about the lady like Kath is like she's built herself a schedule.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By just knowing what's going on in the hotel.
You know what I mean?
So she's not going to black out.
She's got a wedding it for.
And she's been fucking, she's been an animal for 60 years.
Yeah.
She's 80 now.
She goes, I didn't have to handle myself.
Did she crash the wedding?
Did you go?
Didn't find out because it was the second day.
I did not go.
I wasn't doing any of that.
I saw the wedding party that she was talking about.
I went, eh.
Yeah.
They weren't my boys.
Katz was my girl.
You fit right in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katz was on my team.
My recruit, I didn't fuck with the dudes.
I heard them talking.
They were like fraternity brothers from some fucking Midwest town.
They were all dorks.
Okay, but Cath could fit in
Catth could fit in anywhere, dude
It was calf camouflage
Yeah, Cath Camelian
Camelian Cass
She probably sizes it up too
She did
This is a wedding I can blend in
I'll tell you who didn't like her
The staff
Really?
She's been there a while
I went to the bar
Because I owed her a beer
From the night before
She was already cracking
Estella the second day
And I went
Let me get you another beer
She goes
I'll tell them to put it on my tab
And I went
Katz you got me
Three Surgeons
yesterday. I owe you a beer. But you want another
stella. I go out there and I asked
the bartender for a mescal soda
in the stella and he goes, is this for that
that? And with Kathy?
He goes, yeah.
And I was like, yeah, she's
a problem here?
He goes, he just
breathed. I was like, she's a lot, but
she's fun. He goes, yeah, for you.
She's fun for you for a day.
She's been here for months.
Wrecking the place up.
Dude, and Kath is the kind of lady
that just wouldn't shut the fuck
up. Ever.
Like, uh,
that bartender's probably making her a cocktail or whatever.
She's like, not as good as yesterday.
Yeah.
Yes, 100%.
Too much orange juice in my margaria.
I got odd you then.
It is me.
What happened?
You having an off day?
You don't look good.
It's totally me.
If I'm alive in 20 years, it's me.
Bringing sponge weights down the pool.
going, ah!
Yeah.
992.
It's going to be 92.
They believe that?
The heat wave.
Just the guy's clocking in this never...
He probably...
Before Cass showed up, he probably had loads of days where he'd open the bar like 11.
Yeah.
It's just slow trickling around one, two.
He could ease into the day.
Yeah.
She's there at 10 trying to get the umbrella up.
Asking for help.
It's like, place isn't even open yet, Kat.
No one's going to help you with the fucking umbrella yet.
I need my spot
And she sits down
Or like fucking peanut butter and jelly bag
That's mine
That's mine over there
Like fucking
Exactly what you picture
This woman was
And I loved it
Yeah
It feels like a Jersey Shore lady
That 100%
Got put out of pool
It's not it's not right
Every drunk aunt you know
Was Kath
Yeah
She's like
She's too battle hardened
Yeah
From the shore
Yeah
It was nice to see
To deal with just
the relaxed hotel pool energy.
Also nice to see in San Diego,
because that's such a weird collection of...
Every night.
I'm going to be back at that cabana.
Make sure no one takes it.
Yeah, yeah.
She locked in the same seat, obviously.
You see her shit stains on it.
No one's touching it.
God, damn.
I hope she's watching.
Kath.
Come to my wedding.
What a dream.
I told her the name of the hotel
and she kept getting it wrong.
And then I got out of the pool.
and I was like, all right, Catherine's great to meet you.
I hugged her.
And then she got it right on the way out.
And I was like, fuck.
She said the wrong name like five times.
And then said the right name on my exit.
And I was like, she might fucking show up, dude.
Yeah.
This woman might show up to my wedding.
Oh, yeah.
Unbelievable.
Just Peyton Manning and fucking Kathy.
I know, dude.
She's probably got tons of points.
She's got so many points.
She's got so.
many hotel points.
She's got five dead husbands.
They transfer.
You can't keep her out of anything.
No,
she's going to.
Yeah.
I'm all points,
Tom.
All points.
I could stay in New Orleans
for a month.
Now I think about,
she's probably like a fucking billionaire.
She might just like
stay at hotels just for,
you know,
energy and attention.
I mean,
just bop around city to city.
I would do that.
I would do that.
What a great life.
If I was lonely and old and had a bunch of money, yeah, house burnt down.
I'm staying at the hotel for a while.
They ran the tub too long upstairs.
Walls falling down.
They put me up here, $50 a night.
It's like you've been telling this story, this lie for so long, back when hotels were $50 a night.
I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That you never changed.
You never update the price.
I thought it was a lot.
How much was it be?
Mine was 50 cents.
God, man.
Yeah.
Great shows, though.
Great club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was so fun.
Were you staying right downtown?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's a, you consider downtown.
Right next to it, literally.
Nice.
Restaurants were nice.
I was lonely because Josh, Josh got AIDS a day before.
Josh did get AIDS.
Josh called me literally a day before going, I'm not coming.
And I was like, oh, okay.
died that's fine yeah what i guess i'll hang out by myself meet an old 80 year old woman to get
pink and drunk with i know but that's that's a solo mission yeah oh i've i've also been training
for this i dug in dude josh i don't be having any of that no he'd be casting spells on kath
yeah but i would have saved my liver josh and i would have probably went on a run went to the fucking
zoo we would have done things yeah said i just got blacked out of the san diego zoo's on
It's the best in the world.
Do you and Kath talk about that?
No, I bring up the zoo.
We were having too much fun.
I don't want to talk about.
Captured animals.
But that woman should be in a fucking preservation as well.
They don't make them like that anymore.
No.
That is.
That was.
Cath is in captivity.
She was in captivity.
Yeah.
That's where they send them.
Yeah.
The pools in San Diego.
Marriots.
She doesn't get a lot.
along with the other beach
girls in a
she's very aggressive
she nips at their heels
yeah
we're going to send it to a pool
it's just more speed
yeah she's a lot
but everyone gets along
you know it's a good time
when you're hanging out with an 80 year old
and you both don't get up
to take a piss for four hours
well you got the pool
that's what I'm saying
it's pool time wade in your own urine
Gath let me see those weights
like a piss
Just wafting the
temperature difference
Just throwing
20 degrees
at a stranger
They pissed
Because it gets warm
It's like yawning
Everyone's doing it
At the same time
Piss in the pool
It's like yawning
Oh man
Yeah that's funny
I don't
Dude I got to tell you
I think Seattle
Seattle's a great town.
Seattle's a great town.
I think Seattle's a great town.
That's the best of the Pacific Northwest, of my opinion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
By far.
I can see myself there.
It's got everything you need.
Although,
I feel like I'm getting fooled by it.
I get them fool.
I'm getting,
because every time I'm there,
it's beautiful weather.
I've never seen rain.
Oh,
that's all I've seen.
Is rain up there?
Yeah.
You're ahead of Seattle.
You can't live in Seattle.
You'd be out of your fucking mind.
I'd have to approve your apartment.
It'd have to be on the fucking ground floor.
Yeah.
There's a lot of high rise out there, and you can't be floating on the 40s.
I had to fly from Portland to Seattle and then Seattle to Austin.
And on the quick flight from Portland to Seattle, I was going, I was looking at Olympia National Park.
Yeah.
Going, I want to get in there.
Yeah, I bet.
There was big mountains and a river that was like running into it.
And I was like, send me up that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was thinking about how fast I would die
But
I want to get in there, man
I want to get in there
You should be a
Like a unabomber
You should be in the woods
Building something specific
Enough with the tennis
And the fucking yoga
And the drawing
Figure out how to make yourself
A nice shoebox bomb
And get
Get in the woods and enjoy nature.
Did you see the Unabomber movie?
Of course I did.
You hate it?
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe it.
I take you for what it's worth.
Again, I don't.
Don't go in there like fucking Cisco and Ebert.
No.
You just got to go, look, it's another hour and a half of my life I can waste
watching a story about a fucking maniac.
Of course it's made up.
The acting, Crow, was insane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Russell Crow.
Oh, Russell Crow was great.
Holy Christmas, is he great?
No, all that stuff was good.
There was a couple other great actors.
I was like, this is watchable because of the talent of the acting.
It wasn't a bad movie.
It was just that I was watching it with my girlfriend.
No, I was watching it.
I was watching it on the plane.
And I was like...
Watch your first fucking problem.
No, no, no, no.
You don't watch a movie on a plane?
You throw on divers, dinners, dinners, you get fucking whiskey bombed.
And you mind your own fucking business.
You peruse Instagram.
You can't lock it on a plane.
I'm watching the movie.
And Shalene Woodley goes out to the woods to find the Unabomers hut.
And I'm like...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Am I crazy?
I remember watching a documentary.
Dude, her taking a picture of the fucking mailbox.
I was like, if this guy knew what he was doing,
her fucking head would be off her.
No, no.
Shoulders.
I'm watching it.
And I'm like, I saw a documentary.
I swear to God, this was a man that did this.
Of course.
And I Google it.
And it's like, they changed the guy.
There was an FBI agent that was a man.
Yeah.
Who found him.
Are you surprised by this in 2026?
Yes.
Yes.
In 2026, if,
felt like a movie from 2015.
I was surprised it wasn't a black woman.
Dude, I was
watching it being like, there's
no way.
There's no way. Why would you think that's
insane? I, with what you
I genuinely thought
like we were past
this. What are you talking about?
I thought we were past. I couldn't, and I was
watching it being like, don't
make me be this guy.
Yeah. Don't make me be
the guy. Because the whole movie is
Shaline Woodley going like, we should look into this Ted Kaczynski guy. And every dude in the room was like,
Nancy, shut the fuck up, you dumb woman. Don't you know that you're a woman, you dumbass?
And it's like, what the fuck is this? And then it was a guy the whole time. And then the other thing
that was nuts is Ted Kaczynski's brother turned him in. Ted Kaczynski, like, recognized the
David Kaczynski recognized the handwriting and turned him in, like,
knowing full well and he was just like, look, just don't tell him.
His manifesto was the same speak as his letters to his mother and all that stuff.
Right, right, right.
But his brother was the one who was like, it's him.
He was like, just don't, like, it's definitely him.
Just don't let him find out that it was me that turned him in.
But he, like, fully turned him in.
And then in the movie, like, he's like, he tells the FBI,
he was like, I only sent you those letters so that you could prove it wasn't him.
It's not him.
And David Kaczynski's wife is like, David, it's him.
Like, it's obviously him.
And he's like, you shut up, woman.
You don't know him.
This is something between men, you dumb woman.
And then she looks at Shailene Woodley.
and it's like
and Shailen's like
fucking men
keep fucking up this investigation
and it's like
you guys can't do this
you can't do this
you can't right before the midterms
you're gonna release this
also
I mean
dude that movie should have been burned
I literally I was watching it
I feel like I feel like
Republicans made this as like a sciop
I was like
it'd be funny
I got like totally
conspiracy brain. I was like,
they don't, no one, no one in
their right mind would
release this if they actually
gave a shit about
politics. Nobody, like,
no left winger would be like,
let's put this out. This won't piss
literally everyone off.
I'm doing a remake and it's just
a paraplegic.
He's the FBI agent.
Yeah. And he pulls up in a van
and the van back door is like,
and he's got to get out
like blowing through his straw
looking at the mailbox
and just like turn him back to the fucking cabin
you guys are not going to believe this
I have found him
and everyone's just going like
you can't do it
shut up you power
you can't do it Jim
you're in a wheelchair
you're blowing through a hose
no one believes you
you're right with your eyes
at one point
she's like we're really not going to follow
the Ted Kaczynski lead
and the guy's like
no you dumb whore
we're going to Salt Lake City
to arrest a Mexican
you're like
no way
no way
this is the most out of touch
I drove me nuts
I fought through all of it
All I could think of is when I see that bitch's face is
You know
Mm-hmm
You say it
Aaron Rogers
Yeah
Ted Kizinski got caught because of the phrase
You can't have your cake and eat it too
Really
That was the thing that turned his brother in
And Leo's the thing
That was the thing that
Wait he started that
So no he set it backwards
It's like you can't have your cake and eat it too
he used to say, like, you can't eat your cake and have it to or something.
Like, he, like, did the isom.
He did the ism weird.
And then it was in one of the published manifestos.
And I think the story is his mother or his sister-in-law saw it, told it to her brother.
Yeah.
But the brother turned to me.
But the brother did turn to him in.
Yeah.
I do.
She saw it in the paper.
She, like, actually read the manifest.
Yeah, she was the one that got the whole thing.
I don't want to take that away from her.
I get nuts on reviews.
I get nuts on reviews before I watch a movie like this where I go, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's.
She did read.
the paper. What's the rotten tomatoes?
What's the fucking...
It's the only time I ever go on Reddit
is to read reviews of movies.
It was
destroyed because of the lack of
accuracy. And I went...
Yeah. I don't care. I'll watch
a documentary on this guy
if I want the fucking facts.
Which I already have.
I've beaten off to all of his
documentaries and his work.
His line of work. I'm just saying...
It's manifesto.
I've had cake, I've ate it too.
But like when I'm watching this, I go, yeah, it was good.
I thought it was good because of the acting and it's a portrayal of the idea of it.
It's obviously, let's estimate 30 to 40% accurate and true.
The kid was fantastic.
Unbelievable.
Russell Crow was fantastic.
That whole dynamic was awesome too.
He's like a Timothy Chalemay kind of in a way.
Yeah.
Like he had like a charisma.
but like sharp edge
that was kind of like believable
but then if you saw him in person he's
he's 5'2
dainty like a fucking little princess
and you backhand him like a
fucking net
I'm yeah
I watched the whole thing
I did enjoy it
I'm just saying
no I get it of course
what you're you're throwing
gasoline on the fire
yeah that was another thing too
was like did you watch it
no oh
this is the other thing too
out of the movie genre and get into fucking
long form series documentaries
I do that well that's the problem
if I hadn't watched the long form
Unabomber documentary series
I wouldn't have fucked with the movie I wouldn't
know I wouldn't have known that Shailene
Willoughly was a man yeah
because I remember a guy like sitting in a
chair talking about it being like yeah I was out
there and it was nuts yeah and like
yeah finding him and all that stuff
well she's not a man that's what I was like am I
totally misremembering
yeah what happened
Yeah.
And it turns out it was not.
There's a great documentary on Netflix now called the, I forget the fuck is it called.
The guy had six wives, four of them were dead.
And it's just them tracking them down.
Yeah.
For at least three of the deaths.
I think I heard or saw this.
I crushed it last night until 3.30 in the morning.
Every episode, wonderful.
What was, what did he have to say for himself?
well obviously he was just a charismatic liar
that got away with one was a suicide
the other one fucking
it was an accident
and he paid apparently he was paying
he was befriending people that were poor
in these weird cities
to murder his current wife
because he would take out insurance
life insurance on all of his wives immediately
yeah they would be
take out like between $350 to a million dollars on each one.
And then befriend some fucking weirdo and be like, look, you need money.
I got a job for you.
Knock her off.
And then he would kill them.
The homeless guy.
Yeah.
They weren't even homeless.
They were just, you know, wonky.
Yeah.
And he would kill him after they.
Portland drain.
Killed her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was Portland.
But he didn't clean up the crime scenes correctly, but also the officers didn't do their,
their due diligence to like the crime scene wasn't really wasn't worked they just went clearly this guy's a
hero his wife was uh was was robbed killed and he killed the intruder and then you go through all
the evidence you're like that's not possible right and they had to do cold case files to figure out
look let's get him on here he was the only person on uh tried for the death penalty twice i think
this for two different two different
And he got off, Scott Free.
No, eventually, eventually they got him.
Yeah, but sorry.
No, no.
That's, well, come on.
Yeah, yeah, you know it's got hot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank God.
Because most of the documentaries end where they go, I guess, well, that's all we have.
Yeah.
We don't know.
Yeah, stay tuned.
It's so rare you get one where they go, yeah, we, we got, he did it and we got them.
They never do that.
They're always just like, yeah.
Dude, I watched that a documentary, the fucking, it's like seeing a,
good series for two to three seasons you're like
thank god that ended oh dude
because Netflix is like let's do this for seven
or eight yeah let's ruin it
let's bring in the fucking black lady detective
and the fucking paraplegia
shake some shit up
yeah sometimes Netflix does have to do
yeah we're just like I'm not going to stop
watching this you need to end it
for my
own sake for my family's sake
my wife left me
please stop this series
I watch what's the fucking the octopus murders or whatever the conspiracy one where it's just like some some kid some young like investigative journalist kid find some guys writings and starts like looking into that guy and following and like it's this whole thing that encompasses the whole globe and U.S. government and like and then it's I think it's eight hours and you get to the end and the kid's just like yeah it turns out that guy was just like I guess crazy.
none of what he was saying made me sense
so I just stopped talking to him
you're like
that's the end of
the global conspiracy
I invested this many hours
what the fuck are you doing
I feel the same rage
yeah even at first 48
if we get to the end of a first 48
or American greed an American greed
in American crimes
and there's also like American
something where they're they're on the lamb
and I watched for 45 minutes going,
fuck, this is great.
This is a great story.
Yeah.
They're telling all the facts, all the good stuff.
And they're like, if you've seen this man,
contact this number, and you're like,
you don't have them?
There's no fucking solve to this?
Yeah.
45 minutes.
I could have been perusing.
Instagram.
I know.
I could have wasted my time.
I get, if I get no satisfaction at the end,
I'm fucking livid.
It's brutal.
You got to go into these movies going,
don't think for satisfaction.
Think for just entertainment purposes.
Yeah.
Especially if you're on a plane.
It gives you shit.
It's not a fat fucking monkey eating a pack of hot dogs.
Screaming at strangers.
Although that guy,
they need a first 48 on that guy.
Because I saw four of those hours and it was not good.
That guy.
Was there an option to move train cars without the...
Yeah, eventually we had.
had to leave. It was getting crazy.
Dude, like, you know what the craziest part was?
The toilet afterwards? No, yeah. He left.
Did you follow him into the bathroom? I can imagine. I didn't follow that
motherfucker mates. I didn't like stare him down.
Yeah, that's a shit in the yard kind of guy.
Easily. Well, the craziest part was at one point he got up to either take a shit or go somewhere.
And a lady came over and sat down in his seat.
Jesus. And he came back and was like, you're in my seat.
She was like, oh, sorry.
There was trash everywhere.
Yeah, why would you sit there?
It was nuts.
Yeah.
And then that guy, to that lady, was like, I can't believe you didn't see that all my stuff was here.
Yeah.
She was like, well, yeah.
Yeah, she was also nuts.
Can you imagine that guy going, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Where you have, with a mess you have to be cognitively to have that guy go, what are you nuts?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Can't you see all my shits everywhere?
Yeah.
I've got no shoes on.
My shoes are there.
Yeah.
It's like your craziest friend being like,
yo, bro, you got to calm down.
That's right.
Yeah, it's a wake up.
Wake up golf.
You got to chill out.
Like a canary in the coal mine.
There was gas in that cave, bro.
That's a real, whoa moment.
Let's go home and draw for three hours.
It ain't great on the other side, I don't.
Damned if you do, damn if you don't.
Faye's face.
Yeah.
Let me talk about Manuscalcow.
Do we have to talk about, like, comedy stuff?
Manuscalco.
Scalco?
I didn't realize all those people
were making all that money on them.
Yeah.
Broad dog.
Yeah, apparently it's a good residual.
Yeah.
But I'm sure Ms. Calco,
Manuscalco will change it.
Yeah, well, be whatever.
I'm sure he had nothing to do with it.
It'd be great if he doubled down
and he started taking lots more.
Yeah, true.
Just narrowed even further.
Yeah, he buys his clip.
He buys Netflix.
It's just his.
It's just all him.
It's a Manuscalco channel.
Yeah.
I want him to,
go fucking full that maybe is where he was going yeah just 24 7 yeah it'd be like uh yeah
tosh point oh yeah just a loop yeah a loop of ice comedy central it's just him telling one joke
over and over for 24 straight hours the same bit yeah i'd listen to the coffee cake bit or at least
six it's like downtown bayroot yeah he's one of the best jokes ever we're shopping at ross yeah
It's like downtown
He's got some good ones.
Damn, that's, yeah.
I would like to see him just get fucked up, to be honest with you.
Like, be ruined by this?
No, no, like physically beaten.
Fought?
Yeah, why not?
I don't know.
I'm trying to spice this up.
I just, I would just like to see somebody,
somebody empowered.
I'm visualizing.
I'm visualizing.
Somebody empowered.
Oh!
What are you doing?
You hit me four times.
You know, you don't see that enough
When someone's out of pocket
At a line
Just an ass kicking
Yeah, just one fucking beating
What's the comic that would do it?
It's got to be like a comic that's actually affected
You know?
And they don't give a fuck
You know, Sam Marl just meets them in a fucking hell
He beats the fuck out of him after a show
After like a theater
That'd be so sick
Yeah
And then everything changes
I would imagine the very like
Like dull scene kind of
Yeah.
Thing.
Taekwondo or some shit.
Yeah, like he wouldn't move a lot, but he'd just be like tagging him.
Very effective.
Yeah.
Like his comedy.
Precision.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Snipe.
Just long, like his leg extends and just kicks him in the jaw.
Yeah.
Just jab, jab, jab.
Never comes to the hook.
He doesn't need to.
He doesn't need the hook.
Jab, jab, jab.
Sticking.
Sticking.
Yeah.
That would, it would be nice to see Sam just on cork a few.
He's got.
got it in him. I've seen his fire.
100%. I've seen Sam's fire for the Knicks.
100%. That boy's got it in him.
I know. Basketball season
starting soon. Flyers
off to a rough start.
I don't know if you're watching hockey
right now, but... Let me tell you something.
Boy, howdy. We took it on the chin from
the penguins. Seven nothing.
Did we do this now? Holy smokes.
Eagles are in a fucking trench.
Flyers are skating on wall.
But the Sixers
I can't wait
They did
It was first preseason
But Jalen Brown looked great
The Knicks
Played their starting five
From last year's championship team
Oh really?
Sixers looked good
Brom was out
Sixers look great
I mean so far
Who the fuck knows
But but yeah
It might be a sixers kind of year
Jalen scored 17 points
In fucking 22 minutes
It's gonna be a sixers kind of
Fires your young group
They gotta come to games
They're always a fucking
young group. We go through this all the time.
Every goddamn season.
I know, but it's a good young group.
Everyone's fucking 14 and they're like
first round draft picks from Croatia
and shit. And then nothing transpires.
Look, well, we'll check.
We'll check back in late
November, December. We'll see how we're doing.
And when they're doing great, I'm like, I always knew
they'd be fucking great. We'll check back.
They're going to gel. They've got to come together.
They got a lot of new faces.
A lot of young guys.
They're going to solve it. They're going to figure it out.
But in the meantime,
Yeah.
To play some tennis.
Yes, dude.
Draw.
Yeah, I start.
Go for a walk.
Dude.
Anything.
Anything.
There is.
Was 17 days till the sixth season starts in earnest?
As a 46-year-old, there is, I can tell you decades' worth of miserable summers into the fall when the Eagles are not good.
Yeah.
And what is transpiring right now is very scary.
yeah it's concerning there's obviously a lot of injuries a lot of new talent we got a new
offensive coordinator but like i'm not excited the way i should be excited so i'm gonna but this has been
i will say the eagles mo even when they won the super bowl was like a lot of ifs what's going on
yeah every every year's been of what's going on because of many different reasons yeah so
it's going to be another
we'll find out
they're in their usual
like they went two and oh
they're going to go on their
classic like
late early season
skid run
and then well then they go on a
mid season run yeah yeah
and then they get
speed wobbles somewhere
week 13
14 yeah it's a mess
we always go
gonna go into playoff if they make the playoffs
are going to go into it with loads of question marks.
Right.
And then they just need to put, what, three games together?
Just like the Phillies.
Be right back on top.
Don't do a fucking thing with their bats.
Their pitches are fucking, they're overworked.
That's a tough one.
It's like you need support.
This is why Jailing gets his fucking ass raped.
It's like there's so many other factors going on.
And I wish I had a healthy relationship with sports so that I don't fucking care.
I know.
I just want a little more.
active feet out of jailing next couple weeks.
Well, he's going to have to.
He's got no fucking Bigsby's out.
Fucking Sequins out.
That was brutal.
Half our offensive line is out.
We relied on the defense for the first few weeks.
I'm staring at the rug because I don't want to look at you in the eyes when I talk about shame and anger.
But like the defense was supposed to pick up the fucking pace because we have a lot of injuries on the office.
They showed up.
Two picks?
Stafford?
Yeah, that was...
Come on.
The defense came to play.
Defensive line did not.
Defense of line did not.
You can't have these fucking four dumpsters out there.
They'll get it.
But that's how the big guys are.
They play their way into shape during the season.
That's how the big guys are.
Yeah, that's because they probably have to cut off the fucking ice cream machine.
No, no.
You're losing.
You're not getting sweets.
No, because the season's...
That fucks out.
Season's so intense that you've got to start off overweight so that come playoff time, you're right where you need to be.
Otherwise, you'd be too light and thin.
Yeah.
So they got to be, they got to start beefy.
I know these guys.
I know these guys.
You got to come in overweight.
You have to.
Season's too long.
It's too much.
You got to size into it.
If there's one group of guys I know, it's five-star athletes.
That are 400 pounds.
A defensive lineback.
Up here.
Up here, that's me.
Not in Portland.
I know what it's like.
All right.
Let's hit the page.
Yeah.
I got page.
Take a bish.
All right,
I guess.
Thank you.
I'll be in Nashville.
Zanis.
Thursday.
Yeah, Thursday, which is tomorrow.
So please come out
I think it's 8 o'clock show
Go to Tommy jpope.com
for tickeys
And don't hit this
There's like a
Stub hub
Yeah worse
There's another one
Buy your tickets
Always buy your tickets
Through the club's website
Yes
Don't buy tickets
Through some third party seller
Yeah
I'm also going to be
In Harrisburg
And in Philadelphia
the comedy zone and helium Philadelphia in
November.
Can you say what you're doing there?
Yeah, I think I'm going to tape special.
Let's go.
And in November.
So please come out to that.
That's going to be fun.
Yeah.
And that would really mean a lot to me.
I love you guys.
Thank you.
Bye.
Go to patreon.com slash stuff island.
Yeah.
I'm starting to get it.
Yeah.
And look at dish.
This week we got a very nice.
guest, many of you
love, Ian Finance.
Yeah, yeah, we got light and guys,
make sure to like, subscribe, and hype is a new
you got to hype it. It's a new thing
called hyping. What's that mean?
And you got a hype. How do you hype?
It's a little thing, it's on your phone,
it's like almost where the comment section is
and you just boom, hype it. Yeah?
Yeah. All right. And that gives you an extra boost.
Nice. It's Nas for the views.
Nice. Yeah.
Yeah, and then
upcoming Jordan Jensen's coming up.
what else is coming up we got a samanier
oh yeah
we did some old somme episode yeah we got some game day nachos
coming up Mexican style stew
Mexican style stew yeah
and yeah just we're going to keep it running
so please support
yeah take a look
do all that shit
take a look take a look
take a look take a look
