Stuff Island - Queen for a Day w/ Jeremiah Watkins - Stuff Island #107

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en - Follow Jeremiah on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jeremiahstandup/ Go to drsquatch.com/STUFFISLAND to buy 3 soaps and get 3 free! Go to meundies.com/STUFFISLAND for 25% off your first order Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at rocketmoney.com/STUFFISLAND Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

that is the scariest shit ever i've never had a major car malfunction in my life i've ran out of gas before once are we uh we're rolling baby you're one up we're talking about wheels flying off cars you gotta get one i do let's go two wheels flew off uh so i still to this day think that my buddy fell asleep at the wheel he refuses to say that he fell asleep at the wheel yeah but we were on a road trip i know i fell asleep in the passenger i was i was asleep in the back and so i didn't know what was going on but i woke up to my head hitting the side of the window and like that plastic kind of console thing is in the back of a tiny accord right yeah and I look to my right and a semi is hitting us like oh my god and we were all yelling we all wake up

right what's going pull over Pull over, pull over. And he's like, I look up at him. He goes, this guy just hit me. Dude, have you seen this video? No. Oh, dude. There's a video with this real fat guy who's sleeping. He's comatose in the passenger side.

And the dad falls asleep. And then he drifts over. Drifts over. And then wakes up and goes, and the dad falls asleep. He drifts over. Drifts over, and then wakes up and goes, this son of a bitch just tried to hit me. Yeah, yeah. And the son is not having it. The son's like, nah, dad. Pull over.

Pull over. He just goes, pull over. God damn it. Pull over. It was so clear that the guy. That he was in the wrong. Yeah, yeah. And also that the dude in the passenger seat had clearly been driving for like 12 hours and just needed to get like a little bit of rest and his

dad was like i could do it he was like you can't let's just rest somewhere and he's like i can do it and then it's three minutes later his cookies hit his belly and he's like god son of a bitch came out of nowhere trying to kill us both and her son's like you've been lying about everything your whole life you're not getting by on this one basically he goes from

asleep to awake and not confused at all right away he's like god damn it it's so crazy it happens every time

the dad had swerved off the road onto like a grassy knoll and come back there was no cars around he blamed on a car cut them all anyway so what happened dude it was not good it was so we ended up pulling over and we're we're feeling like a lot of like the car you you know you can just tell if you've been in a bad wreck that instantly the car's been damaged a lot. It's moving.

It's really hard even for him to get over. He pulls over on the left side of the highway. This is like outside, like on the northern route outside of Vegas and like towards Wyoming, like up towards that way, because we were going to go back to Kansas from we were driving from California to Kansas. And we were going to go the northern route back to Kansas City. And this is right out of high school. We just all like graduated like senior year. And he pulls over on the left and he's still hanging out like in the highway. Oh, my God, dude.

But we look down and his axle, his wheel is a square now. They burnt the whole wheel off? The whole, everything came off. And then while we're looking at it, the tire slowly rolls. That's the scariest part. It slowly goes past. Where the fuck is it?

Oh, there it is. Yeah. I mean, the tire, when it passes you, it's like taunting you. Yeah, we literally are like, oh. Come get me, bitch. Yeah, this thing's done. It's done. So there's this guy who another semi pulls over, and we didn't see where he came from.

We're all still disoriented and everything. And he comes up, and he's like, you got to get that car off the road. That's how more wrecks happen out here on the highway. True. He helped us push it off even more, and then he looked at me, he's like, you, stand over there on the side of the road. He knew that I was useless.

Hold this red flag. Start waving it. You brought me flags in high school, right? Yeah, I'm flipping like a gun and flags and stuff. It's like your dad grabbing the most useless son, like, get a broom. Everybody's doing something, you and uh that's fucking frightening dude we ended up uh later on this is this is what's weird is we didn't see uh we all were disoriented so we didn't see that guy who helped us come or go like after he got us like settled because the other semi driver

he popped out he's like this idiot hit me he's he was ready to go off he's like after he got us like settled because the other semi driver he popped out and he's like this idiot hit me he's he was ready to go off he's like because he got pulled over after he got pulled over after we collided he immediately was like you ran into me what are you doing and the other guy like separated him and then like after we were all like like chilling on the side we didn't see that guy come or go so that was like our touch by an angel moment man so you act like maybe it didn't even happen. Maybe he wasn't even there. We don't even know, man.

Whoa. Yeah. I like that spin. Yeah. So this is how it does. It's funny that you're touched by an angel moment and angel shows up,

tells you you're useless and you get across the street. Yeah. Man, who was that guy? He's like, I've seen God. This guy is nowhere near. You haven't been told you're a piece of shit twice? Yeah. Man, who was that guy? He's like, I've seen God. This guy is nowhere near. You haven't been told you're a piece of shit twice?

Yeah. So we get to the towing place. We had to get taken there by the tow truck. And then we get there. And my friend is so dumb. He looks at the wheel. We all know it's totaled. But the owner of the car who ran into the highway he goes to the

guy he goes so can we slap a new tire on this thing and get back out on the road and we all looked at him like dude it's done yeah i mean we just hit a semi we're done do you need any more signs to not be a friend with this guy anymore do you still talk to him we had is he alive we had a falling out because he called the cops on my mom. Oh, my God. What? What was that old bat up to? Hey, man, we got some weird white trash stuff going on in Kansas, dude. What fur?

What fur? What fur, Your Honor? What was your lady doing? Yeah. What the heck he was he was um he was living with my uh with me and my mom at the time he had a uh he needed a place and my mom let him crash in a basement and she like opened up our home to him and she goes hey i just need you she goes i'm not expecting rent but i really need some help in the lawn on this day and he comes in super late at night ghosts my mom she'd been out in the yard all day and she he walks in and she's like how dare you come in my house after i asked you to do one thing. And, you know, there might have been some drinking involved.

And basically, he started, like, smarting off to her in her house. And she slapped him across the face. Yes! Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to call the cops on you. And she goes, how dare you threaten gonna call the cops on you and he goes she goes how dare you threaten to call the cops on me and my own home when i'm letting you live here she slaps him again and he falls down the stairs like that rules yeah uh is your mom like a slug or is this dude a bitch uh both

yeah that's awesome yeah yeah that's a. Yeah, so he called the cops. He called the cops, and I had just got done playing indoor soccer, I remember. And I come home to, yeah, lights going on. I'm like, what is going on? And I walk in. He's at the bottom of the steps like Peter Griffin. She hit me. I mean, they're separated.

He's just bungled. And they're asking me if I like if I know anything is going on. And my mom is kind of like, she's giving me this, this look like, just follow my lead. And, and she's talking to the cops and she basically, you know, you know, when the cops get called, you, you turn sober pretty quick. And she's like, she's like, why would I ever hit this sweet boy? Yeah, of course. She's like, I opened my home up to him.

And the cops are like, well, we're going to leave because it's literally a he said, she said thing. And this is an older woman. And yeah. She's just knitting like, I wouldn't touch anything. I don't know what's going on. Is this my life alert? Did I hit the button off or something? Yeah.

And I leave. She's just like plucking. And that was one of those things where it was instantly like, Oh, you, you called the cops on my mom. We're not friends anymore. Jesus Christ.

We're just done. So was he on drugs? Is he like a fucked up kid? Um, I don't know what he does now. Um, I was good friends with them in high school, but it was one of those things where I'm like,

dude, like we let you, you were like homeless and we let you stay with us. Like, what are you doing? And then you call it like, also, you can't take one or two hits. Come on.

Dude. It was a weird one. Weird one for sure. What did he think the result would be? I don't see that. Well, that's obviously not smart. You mean to tell me this woman hit you? It's your house now.

You get to stay. He's like, yeah! I knew I was going to be a homeowner someday. Can't smack a child, lady. Every parent has that one... It's almost like an origin story to their superpower. I remember seeing my father do something.

I was like, what? He saved this kid's ankle in Lake Walpole Park. This kid got his ankle caught story to their superpower. Like, I remember seeing my father do something. I was like, what? Yeah. He saved this kid's ankle in Lake Walpole Pack. This kid got his ankle caught in the wake. You know how, like, the two docks would swing and wedge? Yeah. And the parents of this kid just, like, froze. And my dad dove in the water, goes under the dock,

separated the dock, and put the foot through. Just emasculating this other man right in front of his wife. She's hot and bothered. My dad's shirtless, jacked as fuck. Dude, yeah. She's coming everywhere. The kid slides back in. I imagine he dove in

and cut off jeans. Yeah, of course. Jeans shorts. Local weather issues, a flood warning. The women are all watching. They're like, wow. That's true. You gotta get drunk. That was almost done.

He's definitely sipping on one of these boys. Yeah, I mean, you look at your dad. Yeah, when they do stuff like that, you're like, whoa. Yeah. My dad's a god. Yeah. It's like their cape goes on and then comes back off and their piece of shit goes back on. You're like, whoa. Yeah. My dad's a God. Yeah. Yeah. It's like their cape goes on and then comes back off

and they're a piece of shit goes back on. You know what I mean? It's just Superman going into a booth. Yeah. They just keep coming back out every now and then.

He's got to get back into Clark Kent and be a fucking jerk off hitting you with a belt. How you been? You okay? I've been good, dude. I wanted to talk about

our text exchange after the last time I was on because it's so funny. Yeah, we did have a bit of a snafu. Was I on it? Oh, we got to pull it up. Let's go. We got to read it. Let's go.

It's insane. Wait, what was it about? Oh, you told us to delete some? No, we switched the episodes. So what happened, we had a technical difficulty during the last episode that I was on. So I did the main episode then we did the Patreon episode right afterwards. Now I remember. So there's a technical

difficulty with the main one so Chris and Tommy go, we'll just switch it with the other one. Is that cool? I go, yeah. And then like after... And I was like, we didn't say anything crazy. Yeah, and then afterwards I was like, wow. Patreon, we usually let a little bit more loose. In the main episode. Like while I'm driving I'm like, I, Patreon, we usually let a little bit more loose. In the main episode.

Like while I'm driving, I'm like, I don't know if that's a great idea, but whatever. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure these guys are professional. They know what they're doing. You think we've ever watched an episode or hurt ourselves? Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Even watching clips is the most gruesome shit we could do. Dude, so this is the exchange.

Somebody sent you a DM. Shout out to themoshman666 on Instagram. Oh, yeah. Sent you a DM, and he goes, Hey, man, on the Jeremiah episode, you literally showed someone dying on YouTube. You might want to go back and censor that. You're going to get the whole channel nuked.

Dude. So do you know the whole story? Yeah. That was the second alarm, by the way. Yeah, the first alarm was when we came out of the gate. Yeah, yeah. As soon as it opened up, I was like, who, that rapist?

And I started talking about... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, maybe we talked about... As soon as it opened up, I was like, who, that rapist? And I started talking about... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, maybe we shouldn't... It was the first 10 seconds. Yeah, we were able to clip it in YouTube. The YouTube editor. And it was like, whew. And then I went fishing.

Chris is middle of the Atlantic, dude. And you are... Are you also on a boat? No. Dude, I was circling. I was making burns in this rug, walking, pacing like a lion, waiting for him to answer me. He was the only one who had the password to get this thing edited. Dude, but that's the thing. You called me, and you weren't able to get to a computer. You go, hey, try this password.

Tommy is sending me 15 different combinations of different number, lowercase highercase i swear to god that's what it was all this stuff where i'm like i'm in a hotel room on the road podcast the three of us are all trying to get this down at the same time or like like unlisted until we can edit it and and you're just going back and forth and then right after the screenshot uh you tommy goes do we actually show him on screen? And I go, I don't think so, but the angle of the camera on your phone might have shown. And then he goes, I'll check.

And then immediately you followed up with, yeah, we got it deleted. Dude, it was like we had a different setup at that point, but I remember reaching over and it just shows absolute murder. How did we even wind up getting rid of that? I think it was at the very end and so the rapist part was in the very beginning. Yeah. Because you can't clip in the middle. You gotta either shave

off the ends and we just shaved it down in like 25 minutes. Yeah, yeah. 25 minute heater. And then after that I go, I'm telling you, we went for it in that Patreon episode. And then you text it back again, like finally accepting it. You're like, fuck, we show it. And then, yeah, then it was all the back and forth, all the passwords and stuff like that.

I'm trying to get it down while you're out in the open water. Tommy can't get to the computer and I'm on the road. His phone, the anxiety you probably got when you docked, when that thing was like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. There's murder and rape on the podcast. We got to get a job, a real job. Yeah, because we were coming back. This is dumb, dude.

The way he said nuked really struck me. Oh, no. I mean, it shook me. I just saw the screenshot, and I was like, oh, no, their channel's going to get deleted. Nuked. I didn't even know you could get a channel nuked. Oh, no! That's what happened to the original Legion of Skanks channel.

It got just deleted out of nowhere from YouTube because they had too many offenses. Yeah, it is crazy, that feels like. It's crazy they're counting the N-bombs. There's somebody on YouTube going, all right, that's 13. Yeah, but... You've got to nuke these guys. There's a black AI robot that's like,

enough is enough. You start to feel something? Yeah, it's like, I don't like that. Dude, it is crazy. It does feel like... Yeah, I mean... It feels like killing a person.

Just deleting a channel. It's a body of work. It's got gotta feel good on their end though it's gotta be that power just going oh isn't that red button

turning two keys and some dude loses his whole job in life oh dude yeah you could never put me in charge of that that happened with

I would be nuking channels everybody left and right every hangover somebody gets nuked yeah that's rough do you know the comedian

Chelsea Lynn do you know her comedian Chelsea Lin? Do you know her? Yeah. She does the Trailer Trash Tammy character. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do a lot of fun videos with her. Yeah, you do a lot with her, yeah. And her original Instagram that had way over a million,

they deleted out of nowhere, no message, no anything, because she violated community guidelines a number of times, and then she tried to fight it. Gone. They never recovered. She had to start over from... And she still has a big following now, but you know how hard it is to get over a million on Instagram. It's insane. It's crazy.

Out of nowhere, she's literally like, my page is gone. I can't enter your password. It's like deleting a million dollars. Yeah. And the bank's like, sorry. We have no record. I don't deleting a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. And the bank's like, sorry. Yeah, well, we have no record.

I don't know what you're talking about. Like Gaslany is like, oh, no. Did you bank here? Yeah. We don't have any of your money. That's kind of strange. That's usually the sign that you bank here is we have your money. Yeah. And because we don't.

Is that your last name again? Are you sure? Pope with two Ps? Holy shit, dude. your money yeah and because we don't yeah you call your last name again yeah sure pope with holy shit dude i mean what is it what were her previous violations she seems like a very i think she just gets dirty with like like sexual content sometimes yeah yeah like just like writing that line and then like describing pussies and stuff yeah i feel like they used to be real tight on that like she has a video for example i don't know if this was one that flagged it but like she's like re-cocking her bathroom and she's like doing like a lot of like stuff with it and i think that that's like

every once in a while like instagram's like we're gonna keep an eye on you and then like after a while i think she got a couple like like videos taken down started being deleted out of nowhere and then all of a sudden the channel was just gone jesus yeah fucking bananas yeah i mean and then you can't call any of these places right no that's the problem yeah there's not a face to any of it yeah yeah there's nobody there's nobody they're like there's not even a secretary that you make hey can you pass this along for me there's yeah no we don't have you're screwed yeah yeah i mean i can't find out that there's 50 000 people working for them and you're like what are they doing yeah yeah what are they doing why do you need to change what do you need to change i'd like to think it's just a giant sex party like a big fucking weird mask sex party in the like offices and the

treasury that would be violating the standards. The government too. Where they're holding our money. I hope it's one of those money pits that blow the air and it's all just floating around and people are just walking by. That's fun. I like that. That's fun. Like, hey, I need to make a withdrawal.

They just step into the room and just grab a few and then they leave. Yeah, you never know how much. It's like you have 10 seconds to make a withdrawal. Dude, that would be awesome ah 14 my rent is due yeah whether there's singles in here there's one 100 singles today yeah it's bullshit have you ever been in one of those things? No. I actually have. In a money win thing? I was in a money win thing, yeah. Dr. Squatch, as in Sasquatch.

I know what it is. Yeah. I had their deodorant. Yeah, yeah. Have you been using the soaps? I just started one. Yeah, they're nice. They've got like an exfoliation type quality to them.

I saw the delivery box. I was hoping it would be the deodorant, because I'm trying to get aluminum-free deodorant. Okay. And Dr. Squ would be the deodorant because I'm trying to get aluminum-free deodorant. Okay. And Dr. Squash was the very first one. No, I'm not. I'm just starting to get old and woke.

Yeah, well, I do need to exfoliate. I think. I think that's what's wrong with my skin. Well, you can get a sponge. I could. You know what? I don't use like a loofah. I have like a thing for my back from being at the gym. A scrub?

Yeah. Like a big brush? Yep. It's a big towel that's an exfoliator. Yeah, I need one of those. We'll get one for you. I thought that was for cleaning the shower honestly have you been cleaning shower with the thing i wipe my ass with no okay i don't touch it

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That's the bourbon, wood bourbon, wood barrel bourbon. Yeah. Can you imagine a better scent than that? Wood barrel bourbon? You talk about Irish chicks coming, coming, there'll be a storm in the beach. Jesus Christ, smell this. This is a new thing he's doing. Da, da, da. Chris Smell this Uh Bop Bop Bop

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It's a film Short film Directed and written by Sam Rubinoff Starring me and Joe List Link in the description And the reason we're so drunk right now Is we had Be A Man on the podcast And we drank too much

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Enjoy. And for more, go to Look At Dish on our Patreon. Yep. Yeah, they rented one for like a work event or something. There was like a, a big thing you go into and you just open your shirt. Yeah.

That's what I would be my pocket. Yeah. I think I got like a hundred and something dollars. That's the move. Yeah. Open up the t-shirt. Yeah. Oh sure.

Then you tuck it in real quick to keep the top closed. Yeah. Oh yeah. Hoodie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hoodie. Yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it. Did that.

I'm so hungover. Are you? Yeah. What were you doing? Did you bake something last night? Five days of sports. Right. Really high level playoff games.

Yeah. Those games. I mean. One tonight Did you bake something Today Last night I don't think so

Was I baking last night You might have been There was like a pan There was an aroma There was a pan Oh no that was That was breakfast The lady

No she put in some of What do you call it Oh the Dumplings The dumplings Shout out to What's it called Humpty's dumplings

Humpty's Dumplings. He gave us like six bags. They are fucking phenomenal. Un-fucking-real. They are really good. There's a French onion. There's a cheese steak. There's a, what else? Chicken. Buffalo chicken. They're fucking phenomenal. You want some? You just got off a flight. How are you?

I'm doing okay. I'll eat definitely after the podcast. Chris offered me half of his roast beef sandwich That was a wild text I couldn't even laugh at it He's flying in from LA And he's like you guys want to eat after the podcast You're like I got a half a roast beef sandwich

You can have It's the most disrespectful thing I thought you were kidding I literally texted back Chris That the visual You want half a roast beef sandwich He was about to bite into it I'll give the other half to Chris You're kidding. Dude, I literally texted back Chris that the visual, like, you want a half-a-roasted sandwich? He was about to bite into it, and then he's like,

I'll give the other half to Caroline. He came a long way to do the podcast. Dude, it's not Kansas. We're not on the side of a highway. We're in fucking New York. Let him get something good to eat. So what, dude? It bums me out.

I was happy to give up half the sandwich. No, it's very sweet. It's very nice. And sometimes it feels like because it felt, sometimes people assume that it's an empty gesture when it's not. I genuinely was going to give you half the sandwich. I saw it in the fridge. It looks like shit. You should have a bite.

No, it's good. Now, wait. Now, is it from a deli or is it like cut in half? I don't know. No, it's a gas station sandwich. Dude. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. i know yeah yeah dude when's the last time you had a roast beef sandwich like a fucking aunt's funeral like when did you order a roast beef sandwich dude it's been a long time why what's why you have to you if you're gonna get a roast beef sandwich, you got to either make your own or you got to...

Who the fuck could that be? Everybody's stopping by. We ordered another roast beef sandwich. The other half is here. This guy's got oil over. He's got this fucking gas rag. He's like, you guys got to have another sandwich on the way. You guys steal my sandwich.

It's not a guy with a multicolored sweatshirt in there? Chris is wiping his mouth. He's like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. There's mayo running down his beard. Oh, no. It was just sitting there. I forgot. Wait, you feel like that was yours?

Weird. He's like, yeah, you also got my pants on. That was a fun bit. Dude. I don't get it. What? You guys don't feel comfortable ordering

roast beef sandwiches? I don't know. I'm more likely to order turkey? Like an Italian sub. Yeah. For sure.

You know, pepperoni, some other stuff that are on salami. But I feel like that's because you're... Are you defining what I know?

I was thinking about it. I like it. Yeah. Spicy ham. I started describing it, and I kind of got lost in it. Light oil and vinegar. Vinegar and oil, some mayonnaise and mustard, light salt and pepper, some pepperoncini.

Dash of oregano. Yeah. I'm a big sandwich guy, though. Me too. Are you a big sandwich guy? That's why it was a big deal for me to turn down a sandwich from another man we should make sandwiches we haven't made a sandwich episode

for our cooking show next time you come in town we'll do a hoagie off look at this make a sandwich and yet you don't order a roast beef sandwich I feel like because it's not on a lot of menus it isn't I don't understand why that is.

It's probably on the cafeteria menu at a preschool because that's what you feed kids and animals. Turkey sandwiches? Roast beef? When was the last time you had Arby's? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That was roast beef dog shit. Maybe 35 years ago. It's been a long time. I think you have to

be in a bit of a pinch. That's the last time I had a Roy Rogers, because we used to drink behind the Roy Rogers, and there was an Arby's a block away. Oh, okay. So in high school, you get blitzed, and you put them in. I feel like Arby's is good. We know that you have that stance.

I've never had it. Oh, well, then how can you say this? I saw someone else eat it and it looked good. Was it hot? It was piping hot? I was in the car with them and they were eating it and I was like, that looks good. Did they have the cheese sauce on it?

It's dog shit. It smells like hot dog water. I don't know. All I'm saying is... All I'm saying is... If I had $2 at the time... My life might be different right now. If my buddy's wheel wasn't sawed off by a fucking long hauler,

we would have made it to Arby's. Wait, so you think Arby's is shitty because they have a lot of roast beef involved? What? It is roast beef. Yeah. That's what it is. But that's not why it's shitty.

You hate McDonald's because there's a lot of burgers involved? But you can't because burgers are made well other places. Oh, you're asking me if I think Arby's is dog shit because... Arby's is shitty. But it has nothing to do with the fact that it's roast beef only on the menu. He doesn't have your anti-roast beef in general. No, I think roast beef is... You said it's only for children.

My sister-in-law makes a roast pork, and then she also had a roast beef one time, but it's like really elevated. It's like broccoli rabe and charpovalone. It's soaked in these juices for a long time. It's slow. I don't think I'd ever eat a roast beef that wasn't on a sandwich.

No, you don't put it in your fucking hand. You put it on a roll. Yeah. You shred it up and put mayonnaise on it. We got to get you a nap. And cheese. Cheese is good. Cheese. American cheese. We got to get you a nap. And cheese. Cheese is good. American cheese.

Maybe some au jus on the side. But wait, what? Actually. That's a whole different sandwich. Hold on. Yeah. I'm talking shit. You.

I don't consider the French dip to be a roast beef sandwich. Okay, there we go. Thank you. Thank you. I'm talking about a cold roast beef sandwich. Yes. No, I don't eat that. Okay.

No. I don't understand why If that's laid out at a post funeral Family members house Because they'll have like deli meats And you make your own sandwich Because everyone's poor there Ill fitting suits They don't wear ties because they can't get over their fat belly Yeah

They just rip the plastic off from like wawa it's like make yourself something hon did you eat that look at it you're like i'm not gonna fucking eat until i get home i'd rather chew my fingers and suck on this roast beef sandwich i'm eating at a funeral i'm gonna eat every day yeah yeah if i'm hungry i'm there for a reason and it's to eat just crashing funerals to eat hot dogs and why did they never make funeral crashers the movie that's a great fucking point why not because buddy they knew you would do it let's get working the right way let's get working i think that you like alluded to it like somewhere in there like like maybe in the end or i think in one of the scenes like he is at a funeral but

like i want to see the whole movie. Yeah. I mean outside of Sympathy Pussy and then Grub. Right. How far can you take a lot of food? An hour and a half funeral crash party.

Yeah. It might get sad real quick. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Do you get attached to the family and you follow the family for a while?

You could have someone fake the storyline here. Someone faked their death and you went to the funeral and then somehow you get involved in actually finding the person. I like a real tom sawyer kind of thing yeah yeah even the bird was like is that what it is wow good idea holy shit i feel like that could be fun you go

on a little wild goose chase yeah are you here for work and Or pleasure? Business or pleasure? I just started a 9 to 5 out here. This is the customs podcast. Yeah, yeah. What are you here for? Are you traveling with over 30,000? No, we're going to shoot a stand-up on the spot this week at New York Comic Club. Mr. Tommy Pope is on it.

I'm excited. Excited to have you, dude. I'm excited. Yes, we're out here shooting that, and then I'm just doing spots and stuff for the week and hanging out. So what's the... You're in total control financially, and are you trying to sell that show or do you get i want to

yeah i mean so i've been like investing like in the series like it's an expensive series yeah because it's like every one like i'm you know i hire like a proper crew to do it and stuff like that do they wire the room as well like for like a special or do you just go right through the booth? Um, no, like at New York comedy club. Yeah. We brought like,

they have a couple audience mics, but we also brought like a couple mics like in everything that it'll sound and look. Yeah. That's awesome. Chris's episode turned out really good. Yeah. Um, that he was on.

Uh, but yeah, I want to, uh, hopefully sell the show eventually right now. I've just been building up the YouTube doing it that way because that's kind of the new way of of doing things yeah and uh just launched like the new channel at the beginning of the year and it's been going well and uh yeah i put out new episodes every other monday if you um are interested in checking that

out fuck you check out chris's old episode and some other good ones. Are you recording two of those a month? One a month right now, and then we tend to do one road one as well. Oh, yeah, you're just putting out, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so every two weeks we put out a new one because weekly is too big of a production. Dude, that's crazy. Just the editing alone. The editing and then also one of the hardest hardest things about it and this is just like the

the producing the comic side i don't want anybody's set going out that they're not like 100 happy with so i have to get notes from the comics sometimes they'll want things removed and that's a hard obstacle i'm not just like recording and then be like like thanks bye because then like nobody will want to... Sometimes they say things that are too wild or something that worked in the room. They're not cutting out bombs too, right? Oh yeah, for sure. I'm giving you no notes.

Really? There's no fucking way. I hate notes. I can't even give a walk-up song when someone's like, what do you want to come out to? Well good, because there's not going to be a walk-up. No, I'm just saying like, I can't't we don't have the rights i'm not gonna watch watch it back well that's the thing with a lot of comics is like it's hard to just sometimes like get like the notes that they want but usually like when people are resisting they usually end up

needing notes it's like it's like homework for them that they don't want to do but i'm like well you're not gonna be happy with this unless you want certain things trimmed or cut out. Because, you know, it's a unique thing that they're also being cool with. It's not stand-up, but it is, in a way. It's a stand-up spot. Do you...

Notes feel so gross to give to on anything. It's like if someone took a picture of me and they were like, do you have any notes? You're like well i stretch me it right right but that is me yeah can you make me better why do you keep reminding me this is how i look right right that's why i don't take selfies myself stop doing this for me yeah do you ever give like do you give feedback to people that you know should be taking notes and giving notes? Do you ever, out of, let's say, five people on a show, there's one you're like, I got to talk to fucking Mary.

I got to let her know that everybody's getting notes. And be like, here's what I would change. Your hair. If they are like, no, it's good to go. Sometimes I'll believe them and be like, okay. But sometimes good to go, sometimes I'll believe them and be like, okay. But sometimes there's some stuff that I'll clean up on the back end

just to make them look a little bit better. Good for you. Just because I want everybody to look as good as possible as well. But part of the fun of the show, though, is seeing the comics who you may really like

from podcasts or wherever or their specials or whatever, you're seeing them struggle a little bit. Squirm, yeah. Because it is the hardest format to do. It just is. Yeah. You're going up with nothing.

You're completely unprepared. So you're going up there, kind of back up against the wall and just trying to fight. Are you trying to pump me up for tomorrow night? Is that what you're doing right now? It is kind of nerve-wracking. It's a little bit nerve-wracking, but if you give into it and you just trust yourself,

I know you're going to destroy it. Oh, yeah, baby. You're just funny. I only book people that I'm like, I think they'll be good at the show. Yeah. It's kind of, I mean, it's a perfect scenario for people that you can just turn on the podcast camera

and just say, go make something interesting. Yeah. My wife. Talk about roast beef. I know. Well, somebody might yell that out. I'm not done with that roast beef he's like

alright you guys keep trying to move on my ex don't get me started on her I'm just gonna weave in my ex-girlfriend

every time right just a set up bit just keep doing the same bit it's like no there's no bits I'm just keep doing the same one I'm just gonna keep hammering this one

yeah my wife had the idea of, I became friends with Jodi Sweetin from Full House over the pandemic. And she's like, what if... Which one's that? She's Stephanie from Full House. Oh, nice.

And she, we did like a... We've all had a thing. We did like a... Stephanie? Wait, is she the young one? That was Michelle. So Michelle was the young one. Wait, I didn't beat off to the twins.

Stephanie. Stephanie's in the middle. Then DJ is the oldest. Oh, okay. DJ got it. Yeah. She got it. And Jessie did too.

DJ's the hot one, right? Jessie's the guy. Yeah. Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure. You said it so confidently that I was like. It's 2023, buddy. Anybody can get it.

Finish your story. You going in there. The way you said Jesse was like, listen, have you seen this? Jerking off in front of the daughters. Uncle Jesse trying to hide. You get out of here, Jesse. You can get some too. You can get some of this too.

Go to the fridge, make me a roast. No one's safe. It's a full house. Somebody give me a roast beef sandwich. I'm all out of cum. But anyway, what were you saying? Yeah, my wife thought of, she's like, what if you asked her,

and I'm like, she's not a stand-up, but she's like, she might be good at it. And she has been on camera and stuff enough throughout her life, and she's an entertaining personality that I told the crowd before she came on stage, this next person coming on stage, we haven't really done this on the show. She's not a comedian.

She's not a stand-up, but I think she'll be good at the show and show her some love. They were supportive and it's a fun watch. It's something different. That's a great idea. She's at a celebrity level, so people are just kind of interested to hear her angles and her attempting to make right yeah she told like some little funny stories and stuff that she had and i was like that's perfect that's awesome yeah that's a great idea what if you pulled somebody up from the crowd

everybody puts their name in a bucket you call out a name and this guy's got to come up and bomb i think that's called Kill Tony. Oh, it is? I know. I like the idea. They do the bucket thing where anybody can sign up and then they come up and do it in a minute. But they're supposed to be more prepared. I swear to God I've never seen the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear it speak. That's kind of the premise of that show. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How can I describe Rogan's show? It would be fun. It would be fun. What if we talked to guys that love aliens

as a way of sort of like do you like protein I'm just checking off the most popular podcast this is gonna get views perfect man if you could put together a show where just

anybody off the street was doing crowd work as a way of destroying crowd work clips. You want to see how stupid this is? You know, I didn't realize. We took a random homeless man off the street. We gave him five questions. Where are you from? How long have you been together? And he got all five. And he got got all five where did it all fall apart yeah that's a good question your name no matter

what it is react negatively just going up to drug addicts and like homeless people like where did it all go down just finding that one point you know yeah that's superman point where the cape fell off for this guy you think a lot of them are aware enough though i mean i imagine at some point maybe if they're too gone if they're schizophrenic you think they're gonna look at me like it was september a winter's eve it was a cool breeze trying to get a roast beef sandwich at the gas station the fucking office was closed. I broke in. No, I bet they, yeah, I mean, they suppress the reality of the situation. I mean, we all do that.

I know exactly what I've done wrong and what I should have done, and I ignore it. But if you were to press me on it, if I sat down and we had an emotional therapeutic talk, I could tell you exact moments that I fucked up. Yeah? Do you think they'd be able to, do you think they would, I feel like it would be a lot of blaming other people.

I think so too. I don't want to begrudge homeless people. But that's the point. They seem like finger people, not thumb people. Yeah. But that would be. There's a splashed water in my face. Because you almost made me do a spit take.

I had to stop the water. That's actually the name of the show, Finger or Thumb. We find out if the homeless guy is a finger or thumb person. Yeah. That's a good show. But that's rattling through 16 toothless dudes trying to find the one guy that's like, yeah, I fucked up.

That was on me, not Mary. Yeah. My parents were great people okay all right well we've got 58 more minutes with you and having like a real game show vibe to it yeah the long microphone so where did it all go wrong the long microphone is just so you don't have to smell them you don't want to vomit all over your nice suit dude there was an actual there's no joke there was an actual show like that four foot mike he's in a glass cube yeah dude i'm sorry there was no

joke an actual show like that the 50s called queen for a day that my grandmother was on what and the whole premise of the show is a woman comes on and tells the host how terrible her life is and multiple women do that and then the audience decides who gets like a refrigerator or whatever whatever the fucking what whatever the woman like needs to help her life like she'd be like this one lady was like you can look this up it's called queen for a day and uh and my grandmother won which is not a good she came out she's like i was raped by a mule dude it's literally there was one lady there's one i was watching clips of the show there's one lady who was like uh he's from kansas or something and she and like and the guy's like so first of all the

guy's standing like way too close to her it's like creepy all those old interviews they're like yeah hey hey remember the first family feud the old white guy would kiss all the women on the lips yes he'd go down the line kissing all the women right in front of their husbands three and the husband's just like yeah this is just the game Yeah, be a sexual predator to my wife. Well, dude, it's like only like three people had been on television. So these are regular people. They're like, this is fucking insane.

The girl's standing there like... And he's been on the air for 10 years. So he's just like, hey. Also, the camera's like the size of a supercomputer. There's like five channels back then, too. So everything used to get like 10 plus million viewers on everything. So I think that the nerves are just like, sure, you can kiss my wife. Sure, yeah.

I don't want to impose over here. Go have sex with her in the back. Is that part of the game show? They're thinking like the article the next day was going to be like, this dick didn't let him kiss his wife. Dude, no, but Queen for Day, there was one lady who shows up, and she's like, yeah, I'm from Kansas,

and my husband bought a store, but he didn't have enough money left to buy things to put in the store to sell. Oh, my God. So we just have an empty store. Oh, my God. He's like have an empty store. Oh my God. He's like, yeah, so we're really, we have no money and if I win,

I'd like to just get things to put in the store. That's her segment. And then he's like, all right, that's Jessica. And next year... Dude, it's fucking crazy. Just picture a store in Kansas. It's a giant open building and there's fucking crazy. Just picture a store in Kansas. It's a giant open building. There's one fridge.

Yeah. She's trying to offload this fridge. You feel so bad for this woman. She married the biggest idiot in the world. He's like, ah, finally got the store. Oh, no. We need something to put in to sell it. Water, water everywhere. Not need something to put in. To sell it. Water, water everywhere.

Not a drop to drink. All right. That's contestant number one. On to contestant number two. Now, you said that you were deformed as a child and still are right now. Tell us about that. Oh, shit. Dude, that's a great...

Thank you for having me on the show. Her tongue falls off. I'm going to die in about eight hours. Dude, just wheeling out the most... Don't get a washing machine. Depressed, fucked up people for like a jet ski. Something they can't even use. They can't use it, yeah.

I live in Kansas. I want to do a little dingy yeah dude it's the show is crazy that grandma won she won so what was her story that made her win let's get to the goods dude i don't i don't know what do you mean you don't know i actually don't recall she was just i think talking about her life like she's got fucking seven kids her husband's a drunk idiot yeah but everybody did back then well i her story was more impressive wikipedia irish i'm just saying she won apparently she won like a washer and dryer do they get to go back around because like if fucking debbie

gets real real intimate and depressed and starts telling a little couple fibs like give me give me give me give me yeah well i tried hey i got another me, give me. Yeah. Well, I tried to look her episode up, but I couldn't find it. There's only like five or six that are just like on YouTube. I would love to marry, marry O'Connor. We need the audience from stuff Island to do a deep, deep dive.

Look on Reddit, wherever we can find this episode. Mary O'Connor? Is it your great-grandma? No, it's my grandmother. You don't remember your grandmother's name? No. She was never alive when I was alive. Wait.

What? I never met her. Okay, but she's your grandma. Not like a great-grandma. Doesn't your mother talk about her? My dad's mom. Oh, it's your dad's mom. Your dad never says her name or never talked about her?

I'm pretty sure it was my dad's mom. I'm kind of baffled right now, dude. Yeah, dude. How do you not know your grandma's name? Let me tell you something, Chris. You just won the fridge. I think it's Mary. It's the saddest fucking story.

All right, Chris, you don't know your grandma's name. Well, I know my mom's mom's name is Mary. I know my mom's name, name is mary i know my mom's name guys i'm not an idiot uh i think i think it might have also been mary we don't have that many names it makes it harder right there was like five names yeah there's it's like yeah mary catherine yeah yeah i can run through them all right now pal It's Guess Who Just flip through Guess Who That's all of them Not anymore

I don't even know my dad's dad's name We got Chris locked in dude He's on the verge of a panic attack I just saw it recently I forget It shocked me I thought it was Michael Thomas and Agnes

Flannery That's my shocked me when i said you know your grandparents names right yeah yeah thomas and agnes thomas and agnes hey flannery oh flannery kelkenny isn't it that's on that's my uh that's my mom's side of the family they're flanneries are they really yeah wow my uncle todd shout to uncle todd flannery i think it's danny yeah i think it's daniel i think that's what i think it's bill he just started he just started saying it out loud to see if it feels right. I think it's Daniel. Derek. I think, yeah. Yeah.

That sounds right. That sounds right. Yeah. Oh, man. I was hoping you'd tell us how sad this fucking story was. Dude, I wanted to find it because I also wanted to know what she said. What is the average level of sadness for the winners of the episodes that you had seen? I mean, it's pretty dark. Like, the woman whose husband bought a store

and didn't have any money left over to put items in the store to then sell. Yeah. That's a great short story. Yeah. Like, she lost. It's poetic. Ooh.

Now, do they get any kind of consolation prize for being there? I don't think so. Roast beef sandwich? That would be big. Roast beef sandwich back then was big. Back then, that's delicacy. Boar's head?

What are we talking about? Oh, boar's head's the only head, dude. Yeah, boar's head is the best. A little BH. Forget regular head. I like boar's head. That's the's the only head, dude. Yeah, Boar's head is the best. A little B-H. Forget regular head. I like Boar's head. That's the only kind of head I like. Yeah.

That is. It's a U-shaped toe. The tusks are going. Shoving a tusk up your asshole. You're just beating off. Just rolling over afterwards. I went to college. You did?

Yeah. I have an associate's degree. No biggie. You're a musician. You know the first time we met? Do you remember? I remember the first time I met you. One of them was Big Sky. Yeah. That was the first time we met you. One of them was Big Sky.

Yeah, that was the first time we met. 2015. We sat on a couch. I remember the environment. Because I was enamored by your musical abilities. Really? Yes. And we started talking about the saxophone and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was picking your brain. I was like, this kid's fucking weird, dude. And you were like, this kid's a dickhead. No, no. I looked at tom he was one of the uh the way that they did this uh comedy festival uh big sky is it have different comics come out like and compete like head to head yeah uh and tommy was one of the winners from from one

of the past years of doing it so he came into basically while they were tallying the votes uh he did a set to like keep the show going like while they were decidingallying the votes, he did a set to keep the show going while they were deciding on who was going to win the festival. It was Nick Guerrera, Byron Bowers, myself, and who else? There was a lot of people there that year. Every year they brought the past winners to host the events throughout the week, which was awesome. Shotguns.

Dude, it was great. Horseback riding. Dude dude it was great horseback riding dude it was awesome yeah that's a very unique festival it's done right they brought it back they did yeah yeah this year it was the first time they brought it back that's cool and i'm usually like for comedy i'm very like anti-competition so it was even rare for me to enter something like that but uh i was pleasantly surprised at how fun it was that's why i entered i heard like from other comics traveling they were like dude it's so fun it's not like even though there is a competition where they narrow it down to like final eight or

whatever at the end of the thing it's like you don't feel like you're in a competition no there's enough there's enough going around like around i heard montana fucking rules it's unreal never been it's dude yeah and they had it like that's up your alley for sure yeah fishing and wildlife yeah speaking of where if we get to 4500 we're taking chris to the canyon the grand canyon yeah yeah that's a that's a happy story it's not a sad story taking the boy to see a giant hole yeah i've never been to the grand canyon i want to see it so bad. I haven't either. Yeah. I've driven by so many times, but, like, didn't make the time to stop.

Like, because it's, like, a little bit off the beaten path when you're. Yeah, going between L.A. and. We just flew over it the last time we were out. Yeah, it's crazy. It was a skank fest. It's crazy. The whole. The pilot, you know, he gets on there. He's like, look over your right shoulder.

It's the Grand Canyon. Oh, really? Yeah. And then all the Asians come barreling over your seat. You should put Asians on a certain side of the plane knowing that you're going to pass over the Grand Canyon. You got to let them click. You got to let the Asians click on their own.

You don't want to breathe in their hot fish breath all over your shoulders. No. The pilot should just move. Can you cut that? The pilot should just move the plane a little bit. What? The pilot should just move the plane a little bit

and keep the seatbelt light on. You mean like... Just pretending. No, pretending it's turbulence. Over the hole? Yeah. Over the Grand Canyon, yeah. Why?

So then they can't get up. Oh. So people can't get up and take pictures. Oh, you're trying to keep the asians i've never seen anyone get out of their seat and take a picture oh like through a plane window yeah really i mean get out of their seat yeah get out of their seat to go to the other side that would be pretty extreme yeah it literally happened the last flight i was on really yes people getting up out of their seats this asian lady got off on the left hand side

because i'm always on the outside because because I urinate quite a bunch, and I don't want to ask these people. You're an aisle guy. Yeah. And then she just leaned over the thing and was like, excuse me, and started popping right down the chute. No. Yeah.

No, you just got to let her have fun. Yeah, you got unlucky. I'm sorry. It's a bad beat. There's a dude who, there's a foreign dude who sat next to me once. I'm always a window guy. Yeah.

Me too. And he reached over reached over did he push it down no no no up to raise no no no no no no and i looked at him i go was there a view dude it doesn't matter it was that's his control there's no i was like trying to sleep and he like it's putting up i'm like no dude it's not happening yeah yeah yeah that's unforgivable yeah i had a situation like that where i wanted the window shade up because we were going over the rockies and i was sitting next to a lady she was sitting uh was she sleeping no she was just sitting there with the shade closed, and I was like, do you take this flight a lot? We were, like, flying to L.A.

I was like, do you take this flight a lot? She was like, no, I've never flown this way before. And I was like, I think you're going to want to open that window. That's cool. That's a good approach. And she opened it and then was glued. That's awesome. Just because it was a perfectly clear day,

just over the Rockies all the way to L.A. That's a beautiful move. Weren't you glad we did that? Yeah. Now get the suckers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me some Bors. You owe me one.

Dude, Bors head is hilarious. Chris, why don't you one-up me and make me look like the bad guy out of the two stories? I close mine. I'm like, no, it's not happening. You're like, listen, man. You might want to reconsider. There's a beautiful memory waiting for the two of us right

outside. Now, my douchebag friend Jeremiah, he closes it on foreigners who just want to see a little view because this is their first time on an airplane. Oh, man. Wait, what happened with that one, brother?

The psychological chess you have to play with is when you're going, how can I get this person to open the window? Oh, yeah. I'll be the sweetest man in the world. No, that's good. Let me tell you something. You fly this plane a lot?

It's so great. You take this flight a lot? You take this flight a lot? I do. I do. I do. And I know that you had plans today. Break them. I promise you won't regret it.

You won't regret what's about to happen. He just likes a cigarette. Yeah. Go ahead, open it up. Go ahead. You like that? You like that? I want you to think of the best present

you ever got for Christmas as you were unwrapping that's how you're going to feel when you pick that window up go ahead open it up he's on a date with her later that night listen I know you want to go home right now I would too I've been home

let's keep that shade up a little bit don't close the shade of our relationship I would too. I got work in the morning. I've been home. I understand. Let's keep that shade up a little bit. Don't close the shade of our relationship. Baby, we got more Rockies to see. Are you just fucking on an air mattress in Philly? Do you see that view? It's an Arby's across the street. The light's so fucking loud.

There's beauty there, too. Yeah. Yeah, no, but I have gotten furious. I almost killed a flight attendant once. What? Yeah. Because she... I wasn't even my window shade. She told someone else to close their window shade.

Why? Because they're drunk on power. They do. They do get that way with with stuff just in general i've noticed about they get very anal about the bag situation and the overhead yeah and then the window shades yeah i don't know this one the last actually the last flight as well she was reaching through and waking people up like before the 30 minute descent 20 minute descent yeah waking people up going it's daytime it's daytime open the shades why asking people to open the shades why yeah i don't know but if i was in the window and this little piglet said something like that i'm like i'm not fucking opening that yeah shut the fuck up turn the flight around the only

way they can really technically do it is the emergency exit row. I still don't understand why, but they make you always pop those up before takeoff and landing. I guess you keep an eye on the wings if there's any smoke or any issue. Fire, smoke, yeah. Which, why aren't you... The fact that the emergency exit aisles are open so often on a late boarding of a flight, like a late purchase of a flight. Oh, dude.

And it's all the legroom. Dude, I flew. I got lucky on the way out here. I had an extra. I was like this the whole time. I was like, this is literally better than first class. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, outside the food. The whole way. That's why your boy was ready. I was going to ask you that, because you do look good. Oh, I also, I did a quick, you know, spritz in the sink of JFK. Tom calls that a birdbath. Birdbath. A little birdbath. I mean, you know, I take a quick spritz in the sink of JFK. Tom calls that a birdbath. A little birdbath. I mean, I take offense to that.

Birdbath! Birdbath! Does anyone ever say that? Hey, buddy, does that cock match the nose or what? My wife all the time. Hey, buddy. Like a carpet matches the mean i um i've it's it's not very often that i get like approached by women because i don't i don't put that energy out there since i'm married but every once in a while after a show or something i'll get a real left turn where

somebody's like i would love to sit on your nose. Where I'm just like, whoa! Zero to a thousand real quick. Yeah, it doesn't sound pleasant. Yeah. Oh, it's snorkeling. Of course it's terrible. It's like the seventh one. Yeah. What was that in swimming class?

How many strokes before you went, and went back under? Oh, yeah. When you're doing laps and stuff? Yeah. Or in place. I forget. what was that in swimming class how many strokes before you went and went back under oh yeah when you're doing laughs and stuff yeah or in place i forget like when you go down the like olympic pool or whatever it was like isn't there a certain three or four like one two like three i don't know go back under like a sperm whale getting some fresh yeah i guess it depends i think if you're sprinting you can go every time no well No. Well, there's different strokes. It's aerodynamic.

There's different. Aquadynamic. The breaststroke is literally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the one, the classic that you're talking about, that's the side. Sometimes they keep their head down on the breaststroke, though.

Yeah. Yeah, but you're still taking water or air in on their. No, no. Heads fully just stays and they're. They're not breathing. Yeah. Yeah. They like taking. they're holding their breath

yeah yeah really yeah i saw michael phelps at the fucking baseball game yeah yeah he threw out the first pitch for the phillies why what's wrong with him because he was wearing a diamondbacks jersey oh hey what's wrong with you i don't know are you done i didn't know you're a royal no no no i'm a royals guy but i'm a phillies guy tonight you're gonna watch the game with us I know I'm excited yeah

it was one of the most philly things we were setting up the podcast setting up like when to come over he's like we gotta be done by five

I'm like what's up he's like the phillies I was like I will be there with you we have to do the patreon after that so we'll see how

that fucking goes yeah it's either gonna be real joyous or a real fucking hellish I will be there with you. We have to do the Patreon after that, so we'll see how that fucking goes. It's either going to be real joyous or a real fucking hellish. A real pain wreck. I'm excited. They're back in Philly. Yeah.

The vibe's good. Dude, watching the games in Arizona sucked. The stadium sucks. It's dog shit. There's no energy. Yeah. Just even watching it, it bleeds through the television.

You don't really care. You could feel it. You're like, ah, it's not as... The last game, it's like an aquarium for dildos. There's a pack of six or seven librarians. They're all getting drunk and talking to each other, not even invested in the game. They're behind a glass behind the catcher.

No one gives a shit, and it's one of the biggest games of their life yeah no one cares that's what i love about kansas city is they go all out yes they will go all out like for chiefs for royals whatever and it doesn't even matter if we're not good those years we're always just proud and going out just like comedy just like dog shit cities have the best crowds because they got nothing else what it is. Because they got nothing else to live for for the most part. Yeah.

They get really entertained by some other pack of giant athletes that can save their marriage. It's huge. Yeah, I went to a Chiefs game. It was fucking nuts. It's one of the loudest stadiums

in the NFL. Yeah. The energy is awesome. I think the Seahawks is like one of the Chiefs. Yeah? Yeah. Just Mahomes and Travis. Oh, yeah? Just two of the biggest stars. Oh, yeah. He's a is all the Chiefs. Yeah? Yeah. Just Mahomes and Travis.

Oh, yeah? Just two of the biggest stars. Oh, yeah. He's real close friends with them. Yeah. I haven't seen them in two years. They've been doing stuff. Santino was... They've been busy.

Santino was nice enough to introduce me to Kelsey when he came by the store. Oh, hell yeah. I was in the OR, and Santino was in the main room, and I guess Mahomes and Kelsey watched Santino's set at school yeah dude they're great

they're good dudes yeah very good dudes they're alright do you have anything to plug? just check out Stand Up On The Spot Stand Up On The Spot

Scissor Bros dude you guys have to come on Scissor Bros we're coming out very soon are you? yeah

we're gonna sign up for sure we've literally like for a while people have been like when are you gonna have to come on Scissor Bros. We're coming out very soon. Are you? Yeah. We're going to sign up for sure. We've literally, for a while, people have been like, when are you going to stuff Island Guys on? I'm like, dude, we'll definitely have you guys on when you come out there. You just did a live one I saw somewhere, right? Dude, we did it in the farmer's market in LA. And it was so weird.

It was like, I mean. You knew that going in. We knew it. We are a weird podcast. And we like doing weird out there stuff but we're like uh one of the conditions is like we had to do an all ages show a what an all ages show oh my god so it was like i kept bobby lee on it he was he kept his clothes on he did but he swore immediately. He shows butthole in kids? No. Dude. That would be so weird. I didn't know he does that because I went to Chris Open for those guys, Santino.

He goes for it. He just spread his asshole to the whole theater. I used to open for him for years on the road. His ass? I have seen every inch of both Lees now at this point. I do a podcast with Stevie and I'm opening on the road for Bobby for years. Stevie's getting naked too? Dude, Steve loves to get naked.

Asians love showing buttholes. We just did this challenge where the loser, we played an innocent board game, where it's don't break the ice challenge, where it was like this little board where you click these little ice pegs and if the penguin falls, then you lose. So the punishment for the challenge was the loser had to sit on a popsicle.

Oh, my God. Wait, whose idea was this? It was my idea. We come up with weird. We won't go too crazy when you guys come up. I remember seeing the advertisements for that game and I was like, I want that so bad. Dude, yeah, it's a fun game, but with that punishment.

If only I had $2 back. Dude, I did. Chris, we're going to get you an RV sandwich and a board game. We're doing pretty well. Or bring back the game show and interview Chris as a contestant. It's a great idea, dude.

To reinvent that game. Queen for a day? King for a day and just bring in the game show and interview Chris as a contestant. It's a great idea, dude. To reinvent that game. Queen for a day? King for a day. You just bring in the most oppressed. Tell us your fucking horror. Yeah. And we're going to give you a microwave. You tell us you got raped by seven priests at once.

We're going to give you a brand new Samsung 30 watt microwave. Yeah, yeah. That's literally what it was. Yeah, I know. I love it. It's such a crazy show to just let it like just have a bunch of people fight for who's suffering it's wild whose life is the worst think of the millionaire you'll get an appliance lighting a cigar after the old cigar just thinking about what we could do to poor people

i mean that's how we can manipulate That's one of the whole things. Like, if you watch Squid Game on Netflix, like, it's all those billionaires who are just watching these people, like, fight for their life to try to make any kind of money. Yeah. It's like the pedophile rings in Hollywood. That's what they do? Yeah, they just...

They manipulate. They have fights. They have sex slaves, poor kids from bad towns, and they poke holes in them. It's so weird that when I look at the Manhattan skyline, I don't think there's a bunch of kids being fucked in those buildings. You see that one building? When I look at the houses in L.A., I get that impression.

You're like, I can see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something's going on up there. Why is that porch so big? Welcome. Why am I walking towards this? Why am I going inside? Just constantly waking up in the...

Yeah, what's going on? Alright, Joe. We love you, buddy. Love you guys. Thanks for coming out. Yeah, thanks for having me. Also, just fucking subscribe to this. I just found out from my producers that 75% of our viewers don't even subscribe to the channel. They just get notifications. It helps these guys so much.

Speaking from personal experience on my YouTube channels, it literally, it's an easy thing that you can do to support these guys. Yeah, and we're not- Like, comment, all that stuff helps. I know it's annoying to hear your host say it and i have to say it on my podcast all the time but like comment subscribe to these guys they deserve it okay that's right it's better it's better than asking us to do that i know it's also i get it it's like like it's easier for someone else to do it like it sucks

on your own podcast to be like, will you please like comment and subscribe? But like, I'm telling you your favorite guests on stuff. Like comment and subscribe. We should, we should, when we do that,

we do like put that fucking clip up. We should just have like in the, for only one click a month Every year Millions of channels go unsubscribed