Stuff Island - Shawn Gardini + Nate Marshall - Stuff Island #169

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

Shawn Gardini and Nate Marshall join this week's episode of Stuff Island. Shawn Gardini and Nate Marshall are stand up comics, regulars at The Comedy Mothership and have been seen on Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast / Panties in the Mouth Podcast Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor are reunited after being on the set of Netflix's Tires. Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Book a doctor who is right for you at Zocdoc.com - stop putting off your doctors appointments and go to zocdoc.com/stuffisland Have better sex with Bluechew - use promocode "stuffisland" on bluechew.com to get your first month for FREE Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sorry about that. I don't know. I never get grossed out by burps. It always sounds like relief. No, and editing with the headphones on, it happens to me a lot. And editing regular jobs, when you get the burps straight into the cans, it's vile. You hear their stomach acid bubbling. It's disgusting.

Like a cauldron. I feel like that's 90% of me, LaMare and Andy's pies. Like where Andy and LaMare is just, especially Andy. Andy can't go a full sentence without,

and then like finish his sentence. It's the funniest shit. It's a gassy podcast. It's nice. I like that. I feel the same way about farts. They're always nice to hear.

Farts are nice to hear. Eat. Dependent. Dude, the one... I've been having ones like that guy in the hospital, you know, like the longest fart ever video on YouTube, where he looks at the... He just had, like, a colon surgery. We've talked about this.

This is what I had in shades, but he has a colon surgery, and he rolls over and looks at the camera, and it just, like, falls out of him. Like, the fart, like, rolls out. Like, it's, like's a really long fart. And he just looks at the camera and he's like, That's me every single morning.

I fart myself awake like a dog. I've been having those lately too. My girl's like, that's how I know you're awake. I also know we got the dog. He knows I'm awake then too. So I'll hear him on the other side of the door after I start farting're awake. Like now. Also, now that we got the dog, he knows I'm awake then too. So I'll hear him on the other side of the door after I start farting myself awake.

Just, hmm. Like, just want me to play. It's the worst when it's like, you forgot to take out the trash. He's like, Nate, wake up! Shut up. That's happened to me so many times. Just an angry emergency wake up.

And then immediately it's just... You woke me up. This is what you deserve Oh man Walking to the door Also like panicked Trying to get the recycling And she's together

And still farting I've been Yeah I've been having farts Like an old jalopy lately You know what I mean Like they're really loose I don't know what's going on

Why would he be really loose Just like Well pause obviously But they've just been like a horse's lips. It's like the notes are longer lately. I don't know. It's probably my bad diet.

I'm trying to get back on my shit. It's impossible. We all probably had a little bit of a nasty weekend. How was Philadelphia? Yeah, Philly was back to back to back. Did you hit the streets after the game? Oh, yeah.

A little bit. I got there late because we took the subway. We were like, let's go to Xfinity. We're partying Xfinity. And then everyone had left. They'd all gone to Broad Street. And so then we were like all right we'll try to get an uber didn't get it had to just ride the subway and then got up and like

the hotel i was at the some lady hit a bunch of people i think so they were just like yes they're like you can't come through there and i was hammered just being like but i have to yeah yeah this is where i'm sleeping that's my only spot yeah but it was yeah philly was the game was so good i know the game was so good we got right i can't watch the videos of philly though with i without being filled with an immense sadness that i'm probably not going to be there if they do win because i was there when they won in 2017 or 18 i guess 18 i was there when they lost season it was devastating i got an airbnb i was so ready to hit the streets yeah dude yeah tommy had an emergency he got hit he was was MIA on the streets. He probably bumped into some relatives.

Well, he didn't check into his hotel. And we were drinking until like 3 a.m. So he couldn't get into his hotel. And just took a nap. Just took a nap on the street. Me and Nate checked into a hotel. I checked Nate into a hotel in Cleveland recently, and I didn't realize how gay we looked until about halfway through.

When we were at the hotel at 3 in the morning, drunk as hell, being like, I just need the room. And they're like, do you still need the double? And I was like, nah, the king is fine. And he's like, all right, man. You sleep together? And I's like, all right, man. You sleep together? And I was like, gosh, gee.

Then I went to a different hotel to clarify. Yeah, we didn't just go, you know, for the night. We needed two hotels. Yeah,

that was nice. It's kind of annoying that they give the room up. What do you mean? They'll like, give your room up. And they're still gonna charge you for it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sneeze, you lose. That's fucking bullshit. I guess you they're still going to charge you for it. Yeah, yeah. Sneeze, you lose. It's fucking bullshit. I guess you sneeze. You don't sneeze on that case. That's right. Online check-in.

Did you see that kid that fell in the Broad Street? No. I can't watch him. I get a little bit sad that I wasn't there. Somebody had FOMO. Did you see that? Fear of missing out. Yeah, that gun went off? No, you can see the video.

He pushed Let's Three off in the crowd. It's like, just looking around like, I think that was a real gun. But they were peaceful. Yeah, yeah. They were peaceful rounds, though. They weren't like anger. They were, yeah. And all those happy celebratory rounds.

Celebratory rounds. But that had to sound nuts to everybody, right? Yeah, they probably like went into a building. Yeah, yeah. Just missed the kid. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, but there's a kid he climbed up on one of the because they didn't grease the poles this time they let it ride all that shout out to ben stop he got caught yeah he's free now you get free i wonder what they, yeah.

They're not going to. They let him go. Yeah. They probably maybe wrote him a ticket. I don't know. A little slap on the wrist. Yeah. One kid took a, he took a brisket tumble all the way around.

Damn. He fell from the sign. Yeah. He just, and nobody was like at the bottom to catch him. You should do the Mario. Dude, he doesn't, it's such a drunk fall, too. There's no, like... So he's dead. Yeah, he's in rough shape.

I read that he's in the hospital. Yeah, well, soon. Yeah. That means the poles are going to get greased again, though. I like it when they grease the poles. Yeah, they should. Why? Get them all slimed up.

Make it a challenge. There's too many people climbing on that. Everyone's getting up there. I thought you were anti-pole climbing in general. No, no, no. You just want it to be a feat. Yeah, you got to earn it. And you need a team.

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's why you don't, yeah, those guys don't just fall. Because they, like, you needed to be, like, sober to get up there. Dude with receiver gloves on, like, this is what I am. Yeah, yeah. You need to lose a couple T-shirts. Yeah.

I climbed a garbage truck in the parade when they won. That was fun. That's awesome. And I tore down a littler streetlight with a group of other like-minded individuals. That's nice. We shaked it back and forth until it came down. And then I yelled so loud, the scream of victory. That's got to feel so good. I was being really bad when the Eagles won the Super Bowl.

You're not even on Broadway. You're on like 8th and Lombard. I probably was. I was like really bad when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. You're not even on Broadway. You're on like 8th and Lombard. I probably was. I was like, yeah. I mean, a couple like-minded individuals. And I saw when the Ritz canopy fell down. I was in the crowd when that like collapsed. I was just by myself.

I had no shirt on. It was freezing. It was fucking February. I lost all my friends immediately and I just but I had my family there with me the city of Philadelphia my Philadelphia family

my brothers and sisters I got into no shenanigans I got so fucked up at the game that it was I got really fucked up after this game at the bar and it was at we watched it at a Kansas City Chiefs bar.

Oh, really? As we were leaving, I was just yelling. Go Bills! Go Bills! Oh, no. Who? I didn't see him this time. No, Luke didn't come.

He was a stick in the mud. He stayed inside? I don't know what the heck he did. He had a terrible time before, though. We went to... Nickel City is really bad. Nickel City was like the spot spot and we went there and it was probably pretty empty right now though it's gonna be pretty empty in a couple weeks

it was just like no thanks buffalo yeah now the new york so imagine new york subway during rush hour you're trying to squeeze on the train yeah that's that was the whole it was so crowded that when you open the door it's just a sea of faces looking at you mad that you're trying to get it yeah so i i still went in and took a wee and then we just left immediately called a guy faggot before oh sorry there you go freeze it before we left uh he uh freeze it. Freeze it? That's panties lingo. That's good panties lingo. Kakarot. That works for the other one.

Yeah, it's perfect. Dude was being a whole dickhead. That's a real kakarot. I'm trying to squeeze past, and he tried to get bigger, and I felt it, and I was already drunk. He made me. I'm already trying to squeeze past and he tried to get bigger and I felt it and I was already drunk. He made me. I'm already trying to be smaller. Don't be a dick. I get it. We're 10 toes demons though, dude.

They don't even know. How could they know? Sleeping beasts. What do you think a five toes approach looks like though? In that situation? You're acting pretty lame. You're being pretty... You're being a job turkey right now not all i think i'm buzzing back i wouldn't say that i'm about to bring back job turkey it felt so good that would be 10 toes for me yeah yeah they

wouldn't like that if i said that yeah if you say it real calm it's like aggressively calm hey man you're being real so what and the photographer, said a thing about me the other day that I think about every once in a while now. Oh, you were there for that. What did he say? He said people are passive aggressive, but I'm aggressively passive. It's true. That's well said.

Yeah, you can say stuff so calm that it's fighting words. Well, I've talked about this already but i almost gotten a uh tussle for a guy calling me a freezer the other day so these are fighting words how did he call how did that wind up happening well actually he wasn't about that action i guess now that i think about it no he had his boys would have made him back him up nah clowns guys just called me a freeza. Could be us. Because I glanced at him while I was taking a wee in the, I was taking a leak in the air,

and I turned around because they were acting like women act in a bathroom. Him and all his friends were, like, gabbing. Yeah. And so I wasn't even really that mad. I just went, like. See what, yeah, praise, praise the situation. There's a bunch of freezas in here. And then they called me a freezer so when i left i took uh his beer out of his hand i threw it in the garbage

you can't talk to people like that now you got to get a new beer and then him and all his friends just looked at me like what are you doing yo he's still hearing about that yeah i hope so like he's trying to have a beer and his friends are walking past taking it like you don't deserve looked at me like, what are you doing? He's still hearing about that. I hope so. He's trying to have a beer and his friends are walking past taking it like, you don't deserve this. He used bad language at me. It's very little dick energy too. I was like, gee, I'm just checking out

Don't look at my penis. They weren't even peeing. They were just gabbing by the sink. Maybe indulging in drugs. I'm not going to put that on there. I don't know. I've heard that happen in some places like that. So I just gave him a glance there at the sink. I went, oh, I was checking my six.

There you go, yeah. Got a bunch of guys behind you. Got a bunch of guys behind me. I'm not into that kind of stuff. But you can't do coke around the sink, can you? I don't think you should. That's an over-the-toilet activity. I don't know if you should do it anywhere. I'm not into that kind of stuff But you can't do coke around the sink Can you? That's an over the toilet activity I don't know if you should do it anywhere Who the fuck is this guy?

I don't do it But if I was going to do it I would do it over the toilet I definitely wouldn't be calling guys bad words Be humble in the corner Humble, strong, do the coke be humble in the corner humble strong do the coke yeah so that was

he was pissed about that he was like I'm just gonna get a new beer and I was like alright go get a new beer then I'll give a rat's ass what you do now it's a Mexican standoff and then he was like you gotta get me a beer and I was like no bet I don't

bet I don't bet I don't have to get me a beer and I was like no you bet I don't get you beer you have to get you beer you're holding that one you got to give me another one you're gonna shit he just kept bugging me about it so I told big guys around me to tell him that I'm not getting him one who's the big guy? It was our friend Chuck. Nice. And he was like, he's not going to get you beer. And then I was like, sounds like it's your guy's problem now. And he was like, I'm going to get all my friends and come back.

We're going to be gone. A lot of good things we did earlier. You guys had the advantage. And then you're really going to buy me a beer. He's like, oh, yeah. That was weird. You know you're going to have to you're really going to buy me a beer. He's like, oh, yeah. That was weird. You know you're going to have to rob me in order to buy you a beer. Yeah, so that's why I was thinking maybe I should start maybe five toes,

maybe even seven toes. Just keep that bang on you. Maybe I should start keeping the pistol tucked. I don't know. Nothing will feel better. I defer. I defer to the second half every time. What do you mean? I don't know. Nothing will feel better. I defer. I defer to the second half every time. What do you mean?

I don't know. I never go 10 toes. Oh, I see. Someone riles me up. I defer to my house. I go back to my house and go, that motherfucker. That's normally what I do.

That's normally definitely what I do. I'll defer it until morning. I really should have cracked that guy in the jaw. Yeah. If I have a little bit of liquid courage, I've been acting out lately, so I got to, I think. Has it ever gotten physical? You're not getting physical, though.

No. But it could at any moment. You're just stirring the pot. It could. I mean, you know, I have a short fuse, and I'm ready to blow off. Like, I don't want this to happen, but I am very intrigued what the night would be like. Because we're usually together for both of those moments. Oh, man.

I get beat up and I go, ah, shit. All right. Since your glass is all broken. Let's all go to the bathroom. Yeah, the existential crisis that flows from a creek in the cave fight. Yeah, it's better to talk about how you're going to fight than actually getting too sick. Just fighting in the back. It's a good place to fight, though.

Back a creek. Yeah. Outside. Just get thrown into the lunch cart. Yeah. But you also got your boys there in the back. You have a bunch of units who will come and break it up pretty quickly. Yeah.

That's a position I like to be in. Like a fight that can't last too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get in there, you break it up. Who the fuck does that guy think he is? Who the fuck beat his ass? I'd? I'm gonna fucking beat his ass. I'd have killed you. Get your lucky stars.

I would have faked your lucky stars actually while you're arguing for real. Fake your lucky stars you're still breathing. I've been getting back into watching TV. You were off the TV? Yeah, I was off television No booze, no TV?

No, no, I was watching like movies But I wasn't watching television Okay, okay, I see Back to the silver screen How have you been liking it? It's been pretty good Did you watch American Promeval yet? I have not watched American Promeval How many times do I have gotta talk about this dang show for one of my buddies to watch it i

almost stepped into it but i watched it i was did he like it yeah everybody likes it what is it seems pretty good i've never even heard i've been yapping too much about it but it's about it's like a sort of a western show and it's about uh the mountain meadows massacre loosely which is like a the mormons killed a bunch of settlers and uh okay big history we all know it well that's why i liked it so much because i didn't know about it and i learned about it that's right yeah it's nice to watch some details on that yeah so i don't know so many details about it either and i've been yapping about it too much. I think I was too flagrant about

the Mormon hate on Joey Avery's podcast. Yeah. I sort of feel bad about that now. I got down on that a little bit with you and Suave. Yeah, but that was okay because it was in the trusted arena of ideas.

Not out in the public. Yeah, yeah. It was in the lab. What's the problem with the Mormons? Y'all off the rails on the Mormons? They just not get into it, man, because they have a lot of moral issues. They're not getting into it.

Well, they do like it when you talk about them, which makes me a little bit more suspicious. Yeah. I like the Scientology approach where they try to ruin your life if you say a bad thing about them the Mormons will just be like no that's okay but apparently

they're well connected goes all the way to the top once the cameras stop rolling I'm looking forward to it American Prometheus is awesome Severance I heard was good Severance is very good I've very much been

enjoying severance it's a good sad show you know what i mean oh yeah yeah i like a good sad sad show man separated from himself what does it mean wait i thought that was the one about plastic surgery now severance no severance what the hell is the one about plastic? What's it with girls? I know what you're talking about. New hit show. No, it's not. Was that good?

Did you watch that? RuPaul's Drag Race. Yeah. No, I miss all of them old. My parents used to watch all that shit, like the classics, Nip Top. I haven't been watching them. Apparently, Nip Top is amazing. It can't be that good. I agree, but I don't know.

You never know. You get sucked in, and all of a sudden, you know. Severance. Severance is great. It's about a guy who gets an implant in his brain, so when he's at work, he doesn't remember anything. I like that. Oh, and it's like they walk out.

And when he's outside It's like So But his inside Version of himself Doesn't know anything About the outside world So he's just working That's not like

The actual future In like an office Yeah yeah Get a normal It's pretty It's pretty sick And then they hire A new lady

And she's like This is fucking bullshit I want out of here But then you could You could start having, you could like have a lady you have sex with at work and your lady at home. I know.

Now maybe I'm being gluttonous. No, no, no. No, it's a big problem. Oh, did I nail him? Did I make your plot point? That's a building. Yeah, yeah. That problem is building in the show.

You know? And you're like, who's the real you? Yeah, yeah. Who's the real love? But you're like, who's the real, who's the real, who's the real love. But there's a lady who's trying to quit too. And like, they don't let her quit. Her outside self was like,

no, I'm not quitting. Her outside self kind of knows. Well, the outside self knows about the inside self. The inside self is just kind of like at the mercy of the outside. Get person's decision you know what i mean yeah that's so like she's like trying to quit she's like

trying to kill herself now now i own you you work in there don't come out sort of sounds like the church of the latter day saints does it i don't know they just don't like it when you yeah yeah yeah they're equal they're lobotomized no no i thought you're gonna draw a fascinating parallel no between shots in the dark yeah between american primeval and all right this episode is brought to you by ZocDoc when was the last time you needed to go to the doctor to push it off made the excuse I'm too busy

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Now back to the episode. Because Joseph Smith put his head, he put his head in that hat to see the gold plates. It's a little bit like severance. Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah. He went into another world, disappeared. Man, I've been flying high since last night.

I'm sorry, you don't know. Oh, yeah. We went laser tag last night. We laser tagged last night. Whoa. It might have been the most fun I've had in too long. Just shots in the dark, and then I was like laser tag. That was all I could think. It was.

Shots in the dark. Yeah, we were on the same team. tag. It was all I could think. It was... Yeah, we were on the same team. Speaking of shots in the dark, we played laser tag. That is a good segue. That was nice. That was

really nice. At some point, we were crushing. We were crushing. We let out... I was so sweaty. Yeah, that was nuts. But we got to let out a real battle yell. I forgot about that. It felt so good to be busting a gun and just hit a...

I forgot that we yelled. Holy shit. We were just standing in this huge laser tag arena and we just went, ah! It was so much fun. I feel kind of bad,

but I think I might have hurt myself. Damn. Because this one lady, no offense, but this one lady was sitting down and she just had

her legs out and I just tripped almost, I didn't fall, but I tripped so bad. Were you going full speed? Kind of. You're not supposed to run.

Yeah, during the battle, yeah. You're not supposed to run, so I wasn't. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Just shaking your gut. We were poor Taliban in there. Yeah, it dripped really bad. I was sweating. So every time we walked out, everyone else was kind of not that sweaty. Maybe a little bit of drips on their brow. We were drenched every time.

And you're not supposed to run, so I was not running at Blazortag. But I was moving pretty fast. Also, best name for a Lazertag place for some reason. One foot was on the ground the whole time. Yeah, for sure. And I ranked second in our second match, so that was pretty big. I was ranked right under Tootsie Roll, who was one of my compatriots. He was on my team.

So we had first and second. Was that like a 14-year-old kid or something? It wasn't one kid. Yeah, it was all adults. Really? Yeah. How did they divide up the team? Like how many people were on your team?

There were three teams each game. And there was maybe like 20 of us, 25. They just divided. And it was random too. Was it like the capture the flag thing where you like shoot up? Well, it is, but I didn't realize that. They had like a thing where you could you didn't get points for shooting up, but you got to

shoot these things and you got like power ups. So you could go from like single action fire to like holding it in and got some rapid fire. That's when I did my best. I was sleeping the first time. I didn't know that those were up there. I did really did really bad james did though jay yeah capital capping it to himself he's like i got rapid fire mccann yeah it made me want to go do like a like you ever see those people do

like serious uh like not paintball airsoft airsoft yeah that shit is so funny i watch those videos all the time some dude get caught in the eye like just a guy in a ghillie suit yeah the sniper guy i always watch the sniper guy he's british and he taps people on his head with his gun when he they don't like that dude i was on the plane just fucking going through twitter and i i stumbled upon like videos i had never i'm probably gonna be embarrassed that i haven't seen these before but it's literally just like a guy talking about like murder videos in a like american funniest home videos voice i don't i've never seen that it's like it's like guys breaking into convenience stores and like getting shot you know what i's like guys breaking into convenience stores and getting

shot. You know what I mean? Someone coming into a convenience store with a knife to kill the guy behind the counter and the guy behind the counter just killing him. And they'd be like, uh-oh. Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. It just got to the next clip. It's insane.

I was like, what the fuck is this? And there was like a lot of them. I'd love to check these videos. Well, you don't remember what it's called? I have no idea. I must find this. I'm sad. I was like offended by the content.

I was like, this is despicable. Is that something, Blaine? Get the smoke. How dare you? I was just, this is despicable. Is that something, Blaine? Get the smut off you. How dare you? I was just more mad. It's like, there's nothing I've looked at in my algorithm that suggests I would like this. So why are you just showing me murder videos? I mean, that's probably not true.

Yeah. I don't like that kind of stuff. But it was a leap. Yeah. But every so often, like the shop owner defending his store, I like those videos. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, a guy fucking standing in his ground.

Yeah, I like that. The one who stabbed up those guys, that one lives in my head. I was thinking about that one. Where the guy just is like, I'm dead. It's like he is a guy that tried to- It's like an Asian guy, right? Yeah, just starts stabbing these dudes up who are trying to rob them. And the one gets stabbed like six times. And you just hear him like as he's falling down yelling i'm dead i'm dead

i don't think he died but thinking you're dead like that and just yelling it i'm dead he thought he's gonna trick him he's like i shit my pants. Total laser tag move. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Jesus. Laser tag is so much fun. He got me.

Yeah, we should do that more often. We got to go to laser tag. You got to come. All the guys got to come. I would love it. I would love it. It was funny to me that there was, I didn't see one kid in that joint. It's for adults. Yeah, even the people not in our group were adults.

It was just, I guess that shit's probably for kids. I don't think they didn't grow up with that being cool shit. They're just VR in the house. I hear what you're saying. But I was really thinking about it. That might be dead to kids. I hope not, but it could be. Laser tag?

Yeah. No, I think they'd still like it a lot, but I think. No, I bought my niece and nephew laser tag forever ago. Like a super, it was like a cheap version of it where it's just like, you literally just have a gun and like a wristband

that has like the sensor on it that can get hit. And you got to shoot the wristband and that's the only, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it kind of does work because it keeps people from doing like this stuff

and like protecting their chest. You know what I mean? If their gun's exposed, you can fuck them up. They have that technology at Blazortag, too. Yeah. Your gun has a sensor on it. I didn't realize for way too long in the first game, I was blind firing like a man's chest.

I was moving. I was moving so quick through that Blazortag. You're getting the drop on people? I was just doing figure eights around these guys. I was going up to the top and then I'd sneak back down to the bottom. That's nice.

You do the halo thing where you jump down and spin around. Try to do a no look scope. You're like jumping. I really was hacking. They probably saw that I was hacking. Try to slide.

I had an aimbot on, bro. I was killing him. Second time you had an aimbot, I convinced you to cheat it. Nah, I was just lifted all out on the fucking... How many kills gets you second overall it depends it's like uh because it's counting everybody's score you lose points

when you get hit you get some when you hit so like you can be killing a bunch of people but if you're getting fucked up i was sixth in the first game second in the second game and my team won both games nice blue team nate what were you ranked uh you know what i was ranked you motherfucker but uh awkward uh i was i was being a good distraction out there for the boys i was blind firing now you were a good teammate i was yeah i was blind to leave you on the second game yeah right we did they for the first game was kind of dope because no one knew what teams we were on so we were all just standing around each other, and then shit just turned colors, so friends became enemies real quick.

We had to abandon Lamise. We had to abandon Lamise and Matt, but then we were all on the same team. We held it down. Man, that was the best night of my life. That is wonderful. Lamare stole tickets at the arcade did he get sore did he trade it he got a foam sword a big foam sword he stole just like a bunch of tickets off some machine that someone hadn't claimed or was just leaving yeah just off like skeeball that's how you could tell there was no kids there was tickets all over the place like people were

playing the games but not giving a fuck about the tickets. Besides LeMay. Our big baby boy. Fresh off a laser tag loss. Dude, he almost missed laser tag. Scavenging tickets. He almost missed laser tag because he was so locked in on some game that he was playing. He just didn't realize that we had all the time.

We had to go find him. He loves arcade. He's the king of games. It's been said before, but I'll say it again. I don't give a rat's ass. I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about getting back into it. VR? Just video games.

Regular games or are you going back to VR? I'm going regular games. I want to sit in front of the TV. I want to put a headset on. I want to talk. Yeah. It's the best thing. I was playing 2K today and they have this mode

where you make your own guy and you just play streetball against each other with your own guy. And the guy on my team, he made his dude look super effeminate and he had a voice modulator so he sounded like this when he was talking. And his PlayStation name was Zesty Hooper. And he was just like, oh, got you, crossed you up.

It was, like, the funniest. I was like, this guy's a genius. That's crazy. Someone's hitting their wife after that. That's unbelievable. Someone put that controller down and did violence. Just took it out on their family. You ever heard the term ball watching in basketball games?

He's like, sorry, I was ball watching. I do that a lot. He was just hitting great little bits. Dude, the Zesty Hooper, that's so funny, because I just saw a video today of Jared McCain in the Target, and he's talking to a little kid, and he's like, yo, the kid's so hyped to meet him. And he's like, thanks, man.

They just keep calling me a Zesty Hooper. That's what Jared McCain says. Yeah, and he was like, he might be Zesty, but that three. Yeah, McCain's the man. Can't wait till he's back. And he was like, you might be zesty, but that three. Yeah, McKay's the man. Can't wait till he's back. The little kid said, he's like, you might be zesty, but that three. Wait, that's the kid's name? I thought you were saying.

Thank you, man. Goddamn. Yeah. I tried it. I watched NBA 2K, like, team. Like, pro NBA 2K team, whatever. Yeah, I know what you mean. I was just really disappointed in the level of play.

They weren't playing good? I expected to see the best teamwork I've ever seen ever. You know what I mean? Yeah, no. It's hard to. A lot of one-on-one. A lot of one-on-one. A lot of iso ball. But that's also sucks because that's, I was about to say that's a lot of NBA right now.

It is, but it's not the best teams. The best teams move the ball. Everybody wants to be Steph Curry. Why wouldn't you be? Selfish. Team basketball, the most fun thing in a video game would be fucking just ripping the rock around. Yeah. Picks, pick and roll,, doing the nastiest shit.

My guy's just a big man who gets rebounds, passes the ball like Yoko, and can shoot a three. It's beautiful. It's the most fun. Do you play with all... That's always random. None of you guys play 2K, so I just play by myself.

I would play if you want a two-man game. But we got to figure out a two-man game. I'm not going to just play. Bruh, no, that's ideal. That would be ideal. I go big, man. You could be point guard. We'll figure it all out.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's tough. I should probably be the one setting picks. No, I'm not good at dribbling that game. You got to do so much shit. I don't got time to learn this. I just need to box out, grab boards, kick the rock out. I was going to say, I'd be a good role player.

Play some good defense. Yeah, but I was thinking about getting Red Dead Redemption a little bit too. I was just playing that the other day. It's the best. Second one is one of the best games of time yeah i think so and it's you could does it take a lot of time to get just having fun actually kind of the very beginning of the game you started out like snow spot it's like it's like four hours of kind of like here's the game but as soon as you get into the game and out of this like

when you get into where it's open world instead of just this thing they're pushing you through it's the coolest shit of all time four hours feels like four minutes when you're playing red dead redemption yeah yeah you just burn through it and the story that they're putting you through in that part is dope it's just like the first time you play it'll be fire i tried to play right there like again since we've been or like right before we moved down here. And it was just like, no, I want to just play. So but your first time seeing all this shit will probably be sick. Yeah.

Yeah. I just cause a ruckus now when I play. Just fuck people up. Just go into a crowd, shoot in the air. Like then you can actually do it. And like they scatter. It's the best. Go to a bar.

Just start fighting. And you can just live a life, right? You can just like join a gang and fucking posse. It starts's the best. Go to a bar, just start fighting. And you can just live a life, right? You can just join a gang and fucking posse. It starts with a gang. But it can be different things. You can be like, I'm going to just go hunting. I'm going to just start collecting pelts and turn it in. I went through a hunting phase in Red Dead.

Trying to get legendary pelts, yeah. And just wear a bear head. Get a cool hat. And just be out in the wilderness. yeah trade and pelt yeah you could do that yeah can you be like do you just be like a blacksmith or something no no i don't think so it's all related to like shooting and like we can be like a bounty hunter you can you can just sit and gamble and the gambling minigame is actually it's like just a poker minigame is sick you can avoid the story for so long yeah i don't know why it is but in all those games i always just want to like i want to run like a fucking general store you want to start a small business

i don't think you could this is the opposite of my opposite of my actual life i just want to like get a pop of gear i want to have a nice little house on the outside of town, run the general store. You couldn't have a real store. Eventually, someday, trouble will come walking into town, and I'll have to take care of it. That's the kind of stuff I'd like to be involved in. Just be a sheriff.

I was thinking of that song, Big Iron on His Hip. Marty Robbins. Yeah, song, nah. I forget the guy, Stranger, the stranger,

just wait till the stranger rolls into town. It's just, he wasn't ready for this one. Yeah. I'd go out back behind the general store, I'd keep my skills sharp, target practice, you know what I mean?

Do some stuff, just in case. Just at home, crushing beers just doing target i played uh red dead all through covet and i was kind of doing that like i would smoke cigarettes in the game which you like don't it does do anything for you yes it does smoking cigarettes in the game your eye thing yeah yeah it increases like your slow motion aim but that's not what i was doing i just was like well if it was real life i'd be smoking a cigarette now so i gotta smoke

a cigarette and then i would go to sleep when night time came and i'd wake up and i'd make something and i would live like i would wooded real life dude but i was just in my parents' basement in New Jersey. That shit rules. But it was so fun. I played it for so long. If you haven't played it, that's a great one to get back in the game for. It's good when there's a global pandemic, though, because if you have stuff to do, at least I don't really game that much. It is a tough busy.

You're busy because you'll have to do something somewhere, and it'll take you 10 minutes to get there in real life to get to the finish. Riding your horse. Yeah, it's just like, ah. Yeah. They did do a feature where you could just set it and he goes, but you still are 10 minutes away, and it's not like he just teleports. He's going to load.

Yeah. Oh, wait. You still have to wait 10 minutes to fucking... You pick your way and the map has almost like this GPS thing that your horse is going to follow

as long as you stay on the road. So you hit the button and he just goes, but it's still going. You can fast travel, though. Something like... You have to get on a train

or some shit like that. No, you got to build a camp. You build a camp and that helps you fast travel? You can fast travel wherever you want. Are there any quiet little towns where nothing much happens? Maybe looking for...

Not when I go into town. Until you show up. They're all little. San Denis is kind of a bustling metropolis, but besides that, everything's kind of mellow. Well, I can't really... San Denis, what is that? Like Carson City? New Orleans. it's like

oh new orleans okay yeah it gets bigger as the game goes on too because like time is supposed to pass in the game it's a beautiful game i can't wait for gta6 you could go see like a burlesque show and stuff i'm pretty sure stuff like that's pretty awesome if you get some money together can you build a place no there's not even any business. All you can do is like make your camp better. That's such a disappointment. Have you played GTA 5? If I got four hours into this thing and couldn't realize I couldn't

open a general store. What is this all for? I would be upset. If you want to go a modern take GTA 5 you can like do stock market shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can drive around, be a taxi driver. You can be a towman.

There's a lot of just regular jobs. Yeah, just regular jobs. I think Red Dead Online, you might be able to do stuff. I think they shut the servers down. Because I don't think anybody was playing. Everybody was GTA Online. Yeah, you could be like a guy online where you just collected flowers and made shit and sold the shit.

Yeah, yeah. I did play a little bit of GTA Online during the pandemic, and it was very fun. I dropped into a world where I had a couple buddies that were already hooked up. That seems like it would be sick. It's so fun. When you all get in a car and go rob a bank?

It's the most fun fucking thing in the world. Let's go, girls. Yeah. Oh, brother. But that's what I was thinking about while I was watching television. You going PC or console? Damn. I think I want to just get a straight up Xbox.

Just an Xbox? Yeah. All right. I want a PC so bad, but I don't feel like. Damn. I think I want to just get a straight up Xbox. Just an Xbox? Yeah. Okay, all right. Then just... I want a PC so bad, but I don't feel like... Yeah. I don't know if I'll use it enough to drop 4Gs on a fucking computer. Yeah.

But it seems like you'll just... But you don't have to spend that much on a computer, do you? If I was going to get one, I'm not going to half-ass it. I'm not going to get one that's as good as a console yeah yeah it's an absolute beam yeah that would be pretty fucking sick i always want to do the flight simulator like that new flight simulator yeah if you have the it looks so good i had it yeah the last one like when it came out in the pandy but that's another one it's you don't think about the real time you get in there you want to do like the flight from you know new york to la and it's a real

however long that flight is six hours yeah it's the exact like yeah for most of you just like cruising out the tube you can't see anything you're above the clouds you're like man i hope california is really there when we get that'd be a good have they made a new oregon trail uh no i think the last thing was uh just that phone redo. There's a version of it on your phone that's like a little better than the old one, but it's... They should do a Red Dead Redemption, Oregon Trail. Just like serious, live the life.

Yes, heavy, you're on the road, you know? Yeah. I'm trying to think if there's anything like that. I can't think of nothing that hits that like life sim. Yeah, you'd actually have like interactions with Indians that were trying to fuck you up AI's gonna make games crazy

like this AI that can like respond to you and shit in like 10 years you're gonna be playing a game like GTA and like you have like an arch enemy who's like I remember what you did 46 hours ago yeah it's just real life you have like an arch enemy who's like i remember what you did 46 hours ago he just come like that's yeah it's just real life yeah yeah this is real life again

it would suck knowing that there's an actual good arch enemy out there yeah like thinking really thinking instead of like sort of trapped in the game mechanics an arch enemy in the wilderness when you do like you know because you go through different phases

in a game like that you're fucking shit up you have your wild times yeah and then you you want to settle down maybe just hunt for a little bit

get some beaver pelts that's when he that guy comes out of the woods no man I thought I'd seen the list I left you behind My life has changed

I'd be like Les Mis Yeah the future The future's scary I'm scared of AI now I'm scared of it because I keep getting got I've been catching myself not realizing AI is AI until I go to the comments Like I'm like that's crazy And then I go to the comments. Like, I'm like, that's crazy.

And then I'll go to the comments and they'll be like, obviously AI. Then you go back and be like, ah, I was a fool. Yeah. When you catch it, though, it feels good. It's like when you watch the ball under the hat thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. It's number three.

All right, I still got it. I still got it. It's number three. All right. I still got it. I still got it. When it's Nick Sirianni doing a press conference, you're like, Nick doesn't say stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, there's getting sometimes. Yeah. I got got recently.

Did you see, not to be crass or anything, but did you see the video of, like, the attractive girl with Down syndrome? Yeah. Some people were sending that to me. I didn't see it. I just heard about it. You didn't see it? No, I'm just kidding.

But apparently that was fake. And I believe that for certain. I was pretty sure that was fake. She was moving too crisp. That's good. I went through a couple videos. I went through like three it was like yeah yeah they don't walk like that yeah yeah yeah that's too much

because then you go how do i know that yeah yeah i just do somehow yeah yeah yeah somewhere in the recesses of my mind i clock clock that they don't walk so good. Wait, severance? Yeah. Is substance a thing? The substance, yeah. Was that movie? Is that about plastic surgery? I think so.

Yeah, I think it's, yeah. Only took me about 20 minutes to get there. I haven't seen that. You were just done with the downs lady. I haven't seen that. I started watching the penguin The penguin is the best I love the penguin

I'm a big Oswald Cobb guy Oswald Cobb Who's that? That's the penguin Oh that's his actual name I haven't been watching Nothing worth watching lately When you were saying it I was just running back

What I've been going through I talked over the penguin shit My bad but No no no I just every time I put something on Every time I put something on I just sit there watching it

And then my mind starts racing And I'm like I just I can't I can't lock in anything It's been months Of just like I can do a good movie

But I can't do a show I can't And I gotta be super just like, I can do a good movie, but I can't do a show. I can't. And I got to be super just like, all right, today is movie day. And like trying to make myself. It's been going nuts up there a little bit. Yeah, too much. Yeah.

I'm not going to read a book, so I'll just watch a movie. In my brain, it's sort of the same thing for some reason. It is kind of the same thing. You just want a story. You just want someone to tell you a story true good point reading the book's nice though yeah i haven't been reading enough maybe that should be my new year's resolution yeah i've been getting into it i've been let's try to get through one audio book for a month i keep putting it on and just falling asleep yeah that's what happened to

me and i that's why i was like i gotta read it it's the only way i'll stay i mean i still won't stay awake but i'll stay awake longer if i'm actually having to like look at the letters and it was helping settle my mind a little bit okay when it's been racing when it's been telling me to do bad things. I calm it down. I was like, you don't shut up. We're going to read about Alexander Hamilton for four hours until you quit fussing. Put a board of shit out of you

if you don't stop spazzing. I was listening to the Mother Night book. What's that? It's Kurt Vonnegut. It's really good. I bet it's great. It's about a Nazi propagandist that comes back to America. I don't remember as well as I should.

No, no, he's sort of just living in obscurity. He doesn't really do anything. And then the American Nazis come, and they're like, we love you so much. We love your work. I don't want to spoil the book, I guess. That's pretty great. I got to it about halfway through.

I haven't listened to it in a while, but I was listening to that one. That's awesome. It starts out with him in a jail, though, so I think't listened to it in a while, but I was listening to that one. That's awesome. It starts out with him in a jail, though, so I think I know how it ends. Oh, really? He goes to an American prison? No, in Israel.

They also like him there. Oh. They're like, yeah, we're fine with it. The guys won't believe When they hear who we got Oh pay dirt Did it again I like Kurt Vonnegut I should start reading more Kurt Vonnegut

Yeah he's good It's also nice to read like a good funny book Yeah he's good Is that what he does? He's not too funny though Yeah, he's good. It's also nice to read a good, funny book. Yeah, he's good. Is that what he does? He's not too funny, though. I don't like it when they... He's really good at it. I think they call it black humor.

Yeah, yeah. I knew you were going to say that. Bitches be shopping. Yeah, I feel like he does a lot of like ironic Ironic stuff I don't think I've ever read a book that was like Meant to be funny I don't know how they exist

I know I know it's so It is the weirdest feeling when it happens You're reading a book and you go Ha Just laying So funny How'd they do that a book and you go, ha! Just lay it. Do you ever read like, how they do that?

Is it your same laugh or is it like a read and laugh? Good stuff. Is it a real beast laugh? I just hit one of those, read the book. God damn, he's done it again. You ever read Sedaris? The Sedaris guy?

Yeah, yeah. Is he funny? Actually, people say he's funny, but I'm not buying it. I remember reading... Correct me if I'm wrong in the comments. I remember reading... That's not a Gardini guarantee. That's just a Gardini assumption.

I remember reading one of his books about like smoking or something and thinking it was funny but that was like a solid 20 years ago so it could be bad well i'm sure it's good actually i don't want to be too nasty he like went to hiroshima to quit smoking is that real yeah and then like he just wrote a book about it, and it was, like, pretty funny. I remember. Hiroshima to quit smoking. It could totally suck.

It could just be. I still want the cancer. I just don't want it. I just don't want to smoke. It's crazy. So wild move. Yeah, I'm going to Chernobyl speed this up

cigarettes weren't taken that's so funny shit Nate you on fire today huh there we go boys I think we did it oh man thanks for having us always fun to talk

yeah it was great alright God bless you guys thank you you guys have anything you want to promote I think we did it. Oh, man. Thanks for having us. Always fun to talk. Thank you for doing it. Yeah, it was great. God bless you guys. Thank you. Do you guys have anything you want to promote? Panties in the mouth. Panties in the mouth podcast. I've been saying this for years. I don't know if people give a fuck.

Well, you were on Monday Night Raw, weren't you? Well, they did. Andy did get panties on SmackDown. That was huge. That was huge. Made my night. That's got to be helping. Not moving the needle

as much as you got. It has to be word of mouth. The algorithm's not going to do us no favors because of the name. We just need people to hear about it. The good old fashioned way.

I get people who say they're subbed, they got the notification thing on, and YouTube still just is like, you'll never know. You got to check. Yeah. That was our fault.

Do a name change. Can you do a name change? I think we're like P-I-T-M on there or something. I think we did. It doesn't just straight up say panties, but like- Yeah, yeah. But they still know. They know.

They know. We probably said too many dumb things. We smoke at the very beginning. We start pot smoking weed. We do everything wrong for the algorithm. That's all right to me. Welcome to the club. SeanGardini.com

We'll be in Vegas in St. Pete. Oh, fuck yeah. Please come. I'm begging you. Please come to Vegas in St. Pete. In February. Too great, fuck yeah. Please come. Please, I'm begging you. Please come to Vegas. Go to Vegas and St. Pete. In February. Two great locations, especially February. Yep. February 13th and 14th in St. Pete.

February 28th, March 1 in Vegas. Surf and sun. Chongardini.com.