Stuff Island - Shawn Gardini + Nate Marshall Stuff Island #189

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

Shawn Gardini and Nate Marshall join Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope from Netflix's Tires Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Get 10% off at Ridgewallet by using code STUFFISLAND at checkout! Again head to https://www.ridge.com and use code STUFFISLAND for 10% off Get Huel today with this exclusive offer new customers get 15% off with code STUFFISLAND at https://huel.com/stuffisland Use promo code "STUFFISLAND" at check or our while booking an appointment to get 15% off your first online order or barber appointment! Again, head over to Https://www.sorek.com and use code STUFFISLAND for 15% off your first online order or barber appointment. SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is that helping the ease? Is it too personal? Alright, welcome to, this is Morning Pod. Morning Pod, I fucking hate this. The very dangerous Morning Pod. Morning Pod is more dangerous than a late night Pod. Oh my god. N word is possible. Oh my god, you brought me here for this? Yeah, it's so, yeah. Anytime you're asked to do whatever, Legion of Skanks or whatever. What's the other one? Real Ass Podcast. Real Ass Podcast.

In Queens, you'd have to get up at like 8.30 to get there by 11. You're like, I fucking hate this. And you're reading news stories like you give a fuck That's how they trick you into releasing an n-word Yeah, you know what I do here. That's the whole fucking number one step one is you don't care about that shit. You just hit go and then bitch about your spouse. I know. Yeah. Too emotional in the morning. Early morning just like what's going on? Yeah, I'm volatile in the morning.

I couldn't be more of the opposite. Yeah, I think I'm dead inside. I think I have nothing going on until 2 p.m. in my heart. Not in my head but in my heart. Well that's what I'm saying. The moment someone goes, you've got something going on in the morning. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, oh no. That's when you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, I didn't think I was angry. Why the fuck would I do this? Yeah. I'd hang out with loved ones and talk on a microphone. Fucking gay. Fucking nightmares.

I wish I knew more than beers were on the table. I'm jealous, Tom. There's beers. We'll get you a beer. Hold on a second before these people think it's fucking 8 a.m. I mean it's 10.30. I'm not just a guy. I thought I was like, dude.

Tom, you walk in the door and just crack the fridge. It's literally like. I thought it was like dude Tommy walked in the door and just cracked the fridge He was literally like looking in the back There's gotta be some ultras in there It's Pavlov's alcohol Dude I see a camera go on and I'm like wait let's go to the fridge first

A 1030 AM ultra for you is I've been up since 630 That nice? It's practically five fridge for a 1030 a.m. ultra for you I've been up since 630 practically five yeah it's a 1pm beer for a day. I woke up today thinking about doing a full day drinking I'm not gonna lie cuz after this we got panties just like I'm gonna be podcasting all day then fucking crew it's like why not just ride the wave see if I still got it. See if I still got a more sun up to sundown in here. What do you got to do today? Just the panties after this and then like, you know, crew show and fucking, regular shit.

But it's just, it's going to take all day. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah. Well, let's just put one on the books where we just get fucking blasted for 12 hours. I'd love to see you guys do that. It's hard to quote, I feel like we all have kids at this point since we're all doing something all the time It's so I know I'm gonna hang. Yeah, let's everybody meet here and don't fucking move Chains I come over let's just have some beers going to pull or something. I know and it's just a

Open door everybody swings in. Yeah, it Yeah, you're changing the dynamic every 10 minutes I do I do sit the fuck down and get black I would like like a 10 a.m. Call time Everyone's got a set of tires. And just get fucked up. I'll let you know when you can have lunch. I'll let you know when you can fucking eat. I'm gonna go to sleep early to drink early in the morning. Like I gotta be up at 10, start drinking, gotta get to bed now. Yeah dude, that's what it's about.

I'd even like it if we just met in a parking lot somewhere. A random parking lot. Pop the fucking back of my truck down? Yeah. Just start making bloodies Little worse drinkable morning screwdriver No one in the history of drinking- This is OJ and fuck. You fucking trash bag.

That's what I'm saying, no one in the history of drinking has ever had the ingredients for a Bloody and not the ingredients for a Scoot-Driving. True. It is. Like, I feel like inside any jug of tomato juice is a Mean a homeless person That's all I get for a morning drink now, I don't do mimosas though boy was a discovered screwdrivers What Mary makes a Delta Lounge is fucking superior.

That's number one. Number two, if you've ever made your own Bloody Mary mix, it's really good. But it's hot. It's a hot drink. I agree. I agree. What do you mean hot? Like spicy. Yeah. I don't like it.

You don't have to make it spicy. But you have to, isn't like hot sauce required in a Bloody? No, that's why they asked you, do you want it spicy? Then they add a little Tabasco. I've never not had a spicy Bloody. It comes off standard at Delta, right? And they go they ask you want it spicy then they add a little Tabasco I've never not had a spicy bloody it comes off you and her that at Delta right and they go do you want it spicy? I feel like I feel like typically Spicy and if you're if you're at a tailgate situation the dude making them always prides themselves. Yeah hot it is So you can run into a bus especially if you're coming off a night and drink it you can really just ruin the day

Especially if you're coming off a night of drinking you can really just ruin the day This is like the heroines first shot in the morning It's not like not something I pursue in the afternoon, but also the acid in a screwdriver will get you there, too Not I don't know that's my early morning Going I don't do mimosas anymore I don't do mimosas anymore. I do street drugs. It's the same thing. You just made it harder. It feels like-

Fuck the champagne. It comes in a regular, it comes in a man cup though. Not like a little- It's true. You don't like the flute? I don't like the flute all the time. I mean I'll do it on the right day, but no. I'm sitting at the airport. Sometimes you really remind me how it. I'll do it on the right day, but no, I want,

I'm sitting at the airport. Sometimes you really remind me how black you are. It's just a black thing to do. Here it comes again. You're like, oh, that girl shit. I can't drink that little flute now. My boy see me. My boy see me at the Delta Air line.

Oh, son, I got one of these fruits in my mouth. Too fannic, man. I don't eat hot dogs, neither. You will fall on the tropic thunders. You're about to have the scent of a hot dog. It's such a world-weary early for this. I need a beer. Big second shit.

Can I go grab a beer? What am I gonna do? I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer.

I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna go grab a beer. I'm gonna. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah, so funny get getting a mimosa in a cup just yeah, just don't make it gay I mean, that's right. You get like a double a double whiskey or something for the airline you throw one of the to go Starbucks. Yeah, I'll cut these I will back made up on this though when you get when you get a beer When you order a beer off the menu and then they bring it in a tulip glass No, you're like, thank you man It's like, this is why I got this. I want to sit here.

I want to drink my beer. And it's always in mixed company. Yeah. It's always to make you look like a fool. It's never by yourself. You get the tulip glass. It's always like, yeah. If you're hanging out with like pro football players, they're like, oh, you ordered the

biggest vagina in the room? And it's always when you get like a beer, you think it's like a 9% or they're like, oh, you ordered the biggest vagina in the room? And it's always when you get like a beer you think it's like a nine percenter And they're like here's your nine percenter, but we're not gonna let you feel good about it The beer is called don't fuck with me I'm not gay, I.P.A. and fucking wine We'll show you. Clearly. The blithering idiots.

That beer that you used to drink in the attic. Oh yeah. Didn't you say you were drinking the blithering idiots? I was hitting golden monkeys I think pretty hard. I used to love golden and sour monkeys. Yeah. Dude yeah. They used to crush like two, three tall boys

and it was done. Like I kicked out of my ex-girlfriend's apartment, our apartment, I got caught cheating. And then I stayed with Cooch in Northern Liberties. Yeah. And we got a case of blithering idiots, like the first night I was like, it didn't end well. Tears. Turns you into a blithering idiots like the first night. I was like, it didn't end well. It was tears.

Turns into a blithering idiot. Oh, really? Yeah, it was fucking bad. I was not ready for a pack of the blithering idiots. Dude, that's a bad drunk. When you turn into a white ladies. Yeah. Yeah.

Crying is fucked me, bitch. Oh, I had nothing. I had like a bag of clothes. What y'all start fighting over? I don't remember. Got you. Case of nines in. Yeah. We both just woke up like, my bad.

Nobody really remembered. Yeah, no. I mean, it's 100% one of those things where you get like, you know, you get kicked out of the apartment and you're like, man, what a fucking bitch. And Kooch is like, dude, I mean, you get kicked out of the apartment and you're like, man, what a fucking bitch and coochies like dude I mean, this has happened a lot I just piece them all together. Fuck, you are right. God damn.

It's gotta suck where you're like, it is me. I know this has been me the whole fucking time. Yeah, I can admit that though for a good 15 years. Yeah, that's, yeah. Three or four relationships was totally me. That is a big part of building yourself back is going, it wasn't me. Yeah. It was them. Now it's not me. That is that is a big part of building yourself back is going it wasn't me.

Now it's not me. Yeah no as we drink it fucking I love that I'm drinking this early. I was working I had to have my work beers. Yeah yeah no we were just trying to get the engine turning over yeah we were struggling there and then what's in the case? This puppy. Yeah, just my everyday carry Now those are in here I've been getting a lot more pocket tease do my cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm tired of keeping them in my pocket Yeah, I went on a and spree the other day But so that's that was nice, but and I have this sorry I'm not talking that much, but I don't feel very good Yeah, right now. They'll have six sick. I just drank too much yesterday and I

Think it's safe to say I believe this with my whole heart that you guys I don't think women or should be allowed to drink alcohol That's what I do you put into them I mean no this was just bad Lady got so drunk last night that I like did you say it became my problem my lady it became like my problem and It became my problem, my lady. It became like my problem and I'm really fucking mad about it. So I'm sorry. I'm not talking no. No, there should be there should be some type of scale You know what I mean? Yeah Kidnapping you yeah, I'm being a good person by taking you home Yeah, this uber this Mexican uber driver lady thinks your beauty committing in a

And this uber this mexican uber driver lady thinks your beauty i'm committing in a I have to like carry her into the car and then I have to carry her out of the car Oh, I look like fucking ted bundy dragging her feet It is tough too when you're drunk here it's like i'm not good at carrying right? Yeah, i'm not Just want to pulling one arm grabbing a foot also when they're that drunk if somebody else is gonna do it if it's not you yeah we needed a fucking no does she get like that a lot or is it just a no just this time but I think I have to yeah, she's not allowed to drink anymore Cutting her off. Yeah anymore making the rule. That's a gardini guarantee

What was she drinking I have no idea damn I was hoping you'd say his fucking gay drink You think screwdrivers are gayer than Bloody Marys? No, 100%. They're called Bloody Marys. It's like... It's a lady name. Yeah, but that's like an aggressive... Screwdriver is like the best, like most dude sounding drink.

Yeah, yeah. Screwdriver. It's probably named after some guy pissed off at his wife. No, it's when you gotta tighten things up. You know what I mean? You're a little loose. You're a little hungover from the night before. And you gotta, I gotta...

Screwdriver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tighten things down. They're gonna screw it back together. The Mimosa Bloody Mary screwdriver. Mimosa's gay. You're a little hungover from the night before and you got I got a screw. Yeah Mimosa Bloody Mary, okay, you know what you ever had a beer mosa Beer Bloody Mary to it's a mission mission Michelada make a lot. What's the Mexicans have it? Yeah What does it put like put a shitty Modelo in it with yeah, and then the stuff? Heems yeah, they put to he on every yeah, I refuse to eat teen. I've never tried it. It's hard to avoid It's just how they saw rims. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

They put on mangoes sometimes. it's got like a very high acidic. Yeah, it's almost like a Lime dude, I'll go nuts with the mimosas. Give me the wall. I'll get a little grapefruit mimosa. Yeah They're so good, they're great, but it's just sometimes I don't wilder the fruit the better. Yeah I like a wall. Oh, it's a grapefruit drink. Well, it's a mezcal paloma. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay What's in it send it? What's in it? What's in it mezcal mezcal grapefruit? Okay sounds water Sounds great. Yeah mezcal is Grapefruit. Okay. Sounds fire. Water. Sounds great. Yeah. Mezcal is pretty great.

It's my future. It's really, it's got, it's got a. It's been my recent past. It's got an evil-y kind of smoke to it. Yeah. You know, makes you feel like you're being bad. It seems educated. It does.

But it's not, you know. It's not, it's not. Yeah. It's like a tequila that went to a community college. Yeah. It's like. But it makes you feel like you're doing something. It's a smoky it's a it's like a tequila that went to community college. Yeah, it's like I feel like you're doing something to smoke you tequila. Yeah, I think it was a whiskey like like You know in that family it like well, it's it's got like a scotchy quality to it, but it's not as serious as scotch

Okay, I mean scotch is serious business. Yeah, you don't just bust out You know you like we couldn't do that. There'd be two, unless we were playing or something, we can't have Scotch this early. Yes, Scotch is you want to let people know that you're drunk. Yeah. I'm drunk, but I'm not a dumbass. It's like, yeah, I want to stink.

I want to stink as bad as a drunken stink. I want you to smell it tomorrow. Mezcal is like a whisper of that attitude inside of like, yeah, almost like a mimosas. I think that. I want to somehow combine the lightness of like, girl drink with a nasty little bite. Yeah.

And then they put in that cord. There's a mezcal bar called Las Perlas. That's a love. Mothership. We've been there. We've been to Las Perlas? It's connected to Seven Grand. You've been to Seven Grand. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a love. Yeah. Mothership. We've been there. We've been to Las Perlas? It's connected to Seven Grand. You've been to Seven Grand for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's right next to it. They got the tacos out back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you could try different levels of it. I would argue it is kind of like Scotch and its complexity and like it's almost like bourbon stew where like you could spend $25 for a pour, $50 for a pour, $100 for a pour and like the flavor combinations are fucking bananas

I might have to switch off a whiskey I think it's killing me you gotta go you gotta go clear yeah I think I have to go clear shout out to Scientology my guts since I've gotten a little off the whiskey so much better yeah I really um well it's a beer it's been miserable. I stopped doing IPA's. Yeah That's another one. My diarrhea's cut out. Yeah, I've been straight on light beers more too I like but it sucks. I do I do like having two beers and being like, oh, I'm already there. Yeah I'm talking IPA's. If I'm getting an IPA I'm getting like an 8% or I'm not I don't really go 6% IPA's, if I'm getting IPA I'm getting like an 8% or I don't really go 6% IPA ever. But it's, because we drink so much, you gotta step away from the whiskey and the IPA's.

You know what I mean? It's shit blood. It feels like it's just literally ripping a hole through my stomach. It is. Like I wake up in the morning and I feel like I have bowel cancer now. I swear, I'm not even trying to be funny. No, you've been saying it a lot. I feel like it's a genuine concern.

I don't know why you guys are laughing. This is not the platform to not be funny. Is anybody listening that could help me please reach out? You've got to slow it down. Also the whiskey. I agree, dude. I had five last night though. I had five shots.

I feel pretty good. The first one's so good. I think Saturday night I had like six double mezcal's. And there's like four shots in each one of those. Good lord. Beast. What were you doing? I had a good time. We chose. Oh yeah. Yeah, East. What were you doing?

I just started like eight and I had a late show too. Oh, what they say that was Saturday says that when we also know that was like Friday or Thursday or something Okay, okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah Drinking my drink too slow Are you gonna nurse these any fun? He sipped on just like a bourbon on the rocks for an hour and a half and then we got shots And he was like you didn't get me a shot. It was like you haven't finished the wish And he was like, you can get me a shot. It was like, you haven't finished the whistle. You know, it was a shot in front of you that you haven't finished.

I got a whole glass of mezcal. I turned down a shot though. You know, a shot like this is a whole glass of shot. It is one every time I say, take a sip. That was a hard sentence. You all were having such a moment over there by yourselves and I felt unincluded. I was a little bummed. We were sitting right next to each other. I know. I was like, let me get this on the shot. What the hell are we doing?

Oh, yeah. I remember that now. Now you're being very bashful the whole time. Yeah, it was a yeah. You're like, I don't want that. I don't want that. It was in his mood. I wasn't in a mood.

I was in a good mood that day. I'm sorry. I did hit a little mood at the end of the night, but I Just all yeah whiskey stuff again, yeah, I wasn't a good man then I was in a bad mood I don't know what the... I don't know what it could be. I was in a great mood, and now I was in a terrible mood. You don't even like me. Somewhere in all that whiskey, I got into a real bad mood. Yeah, your stomach lining's probably fucking got to poke the hole in it. Yeah, I got to do something.

Start eating some probiotics. I was just about to say it. I take one in the morning, first thing I wake up. I do it at night. I take the probiotics and the psyllium husk and try to get it all together, but one night of whiskeys ruins all the progress. Yeah. And I'm back to this.

Very true. Yeah, I take milk thistle, but apparently that only works when you're not drinking. This episode is brought to you by Huel. You guys know him, you love him, we love him as well. No time to cook, no problem. Our friends at Huell and today's sponsor, have you covered, spelled H-U-E-L, and this is their black edition ready to drink.

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If you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you It's a nice deal Yeah, yeah, it's like the herb that heals your liver. Oh, my mother just sent me a text yesterday going yeah, that doesn't work unless you're Fuck you. Call to say happy birthday. Happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Mom. So funny.

She doesn't even say hello. She's just like milk tissel doesn't work. She just tells me what my one aunt has like fucking tumors on her skull. Sorry. And then milk tissel's not helping me. And I'm like, can you just let me talk to dad did you demand a happy father's day as a dog that did you demand happy father's days as a dog that I thought about just being an asshole everybody be like no one's saying anything I'm working harder than all you know just

around the same amount of money I mean hmm I've been kind of lucky my guys I think he was a homeless dog though he hasn't gotten sick once yeah yeah yeah maybe that's the move what is the move throw me the fucking streets for first six months yeah they don't get sick all the time yeah what happened your gluten allergy You've been dumpster diving for five years. You're a twat. Grow up, twat. You gotta bring twat back. Twat is good. Twat is good. It's got a hard start, hard end.

You know? Twat. Twat. What else, guys? What else can we talk about? Drinking? Yeah, you can't soften it up with a twat. Twat.

Yeah, no, I'm just a fucking twat. It was over in Britain. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat.

I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I'm just a twat. I F**king twat. What else guys? What else can we talk about? Drinking? Yeah, you can't soften it up with a twat. Twat! Yeah, no, I'm just... F**king twat. I was over in Britain for a while. Has she woken up yet? Nope, she's still resting.

She's gonna get an earful soon. F**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f**king f I'm extreme of these days. The one time I woke up early. I would go, yeah, you wouldn't get it. There's nothing worse. I'm sorry. Look who's up. Must have needed it. Must have needed it. The biggest taunt of all time. You sleep one extra hour than them, they're like, must have needed it. There's nothing worse than getting yelled at, hungover. She's going to get it. There's nothing worse. getting yelled at hungover. She's gonna get there's nothing worse. She's gonna feel my wrath dude when yeah

Man it feels good just to give them nothing That's actually my move. Yeah, that's what I did this morning Used to be like Let's talk it through. You know, are you done type shit? and then I nothing will be learned from this. Yeah, nothing will be learned. So you could just keep barking I'm gonna wait for the silence. I'm gonna unmute sports center again, and then we'll just go on our paths What? Yeah, you can meet back up at six PM.

Go. Yeah, I love you. Is that all worth it? What the fuck was that about? I do love the mute. And then you look at him like you're talking. Yes. Can't you see the top 10 is on right now? Dude, actually watching the top 10 I Yeah, that's a shot across anyone's bow. This is more important than your mouth right now. Yeah, that's what I did. I did this, she's like, where are you going? I was like, you know I had to wake up early today.

I'm going to Christmas. I'll see you later. Dude, just come back. You said her language, dude. Just come back and start cleaning. I should just start cleaning your bedroom. I'm going full girl mode. I'm going to start sighing really loud. I'm going to start. Cleaning the bedroom. I'm going full girl mode.

I'm gonna start sighing really loud. Rearrange the whole cupboard. Just the most percussive thing possible. Just moving bowls and pans. Changing batteries. That's so good. What do you want to do for lunch? Whatever you want, you figure it out yourself.

I already eat with my friends. That'd be so sick to just turn the lawnmower on and have it sit outside the window. Vacuum the lawnmower. How's the mower? I miss it. It's great. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back.

You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back.

You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back.

You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. Yeah, the rains been fucking up the grass is growing just cuz it's all weeds. I don't have grass It's just all weeds. So it'll be like all lopsided and I got to do it more often now, which I hate It's like every two weeks I kind of got to do it at fucking blues. Yeah You get some heavy rain In what way? Is it Wapsat?

Wapsat. The idea of Italian people watching this mean like the Wapsol Adam. On the other side. It's just the idea of Italian people watching this mean like the whops all out of Yeah, I might just turn it on I might go to like 3 p.m. Just tell her I have to like we're gonna cook a cook a dish Let's go to the bar by myself You know, there's a nice pool pool place where music copper tank downtown Hey, have you been playing pool when you go to that one that we went to last time? I will but I'm not good

And I hate playing in front of people. Yes, too. There's just too much traffic. Yeah, Frazier's is too crowded for pool Yeah, it's it's brutal when you have grand is maybe the best setup. That's really nice. God, but the copper tank is apparently real nice I haven't I've only walked by it, but it's a lot of things You gotta be good at pool or play pool. It looks like a place you play now watch all these hot retards play Yeah, it's all there are hot retards in there. Yeah, but then you feel like you're a hot retard Play it. Yeah, that's why I don't play. Yes, they're It is tough when it's busy asking someone to move so you can just like miss the Yeah, just shank

Yeah, I don't like the presh I just went to Barton Springs for the first time the other day I don't like that either. No, no no too many people that's why I don't go I mean it would be so nice on the vagrant side where all the homeless people have done that their own shit I did that way yes yes I've been on the beach new beach yeah new beach in Austin. I think so No, I think it's all awesome. You can be topless. Oh, that is that is a hundred percent true Yeah, you can be topless at barn springs, but there's no there was no one topless when I was there besides the fellas Take it top pockets. I'll take I'll take a torture

That's so funny to describe tits as a shirt pocket Ladies got two shirt pockets Yeah, it was just too much None of you guys have been there to the poolside. No, it's so refreshing and nice. Josh, have you been there? Yeah. I it wasn't the it's it's all algae and kids and it's very crowded, which I hate. I hate being around a lot of people. Yeah. And I think that what a body's with that.

No, that's an ladybird. Oh, OK. I think you got to go up. Can you go up river? I think a way up river. Yeah. It's like like yeah, there's I think there's like a little hike Yeah, remember we went on that one time. It was all dried up. Oh, yeah I forgot about it was it was a hundred and five degrees and you and I were down here and I was like I know a great little spot Dude it was I don't know where it could have been. I don't even know where we were from Barton Creek, but it was an entirely dry

river like there was like a big waterfall with no water. And we just saw Mexicans like huck huck. There's just Mexicans taking pictures in a dry riverbed Like white rocks and we hiked you know you hike for we had my ears and bathing Yeah, son we were so that sounds like it's great, but there was no Water no beer true. It was fully like that fucking that picture of the that crime boss just in the pool Yeah, narcos or whatever yeah That was us I'm gonna be at the beach this weekend going to Miami Beach what do you go to the beach in New Jersey when you go home?

Yeah, I have I haven't been in a while, but I used to all the time. I used to go to Belmar, Bradley Beach. Yeah. I used to go to Seven Presidents. That was a nice beach. I think that's what it was called. Something like that. What the hell is that? Four Presidents?

Seven Presidents? It was like a beach with no boardwalk. The best type, just you go out there, there's no people. Like, you're just getting hammered on the beach. Delaware? No, this was Jersey. This was like an hour and a half, two hours. It was a little drive. Which way would you have been? It was like I would and a half two hours a little drive

Which way would you have been it was like I would go to the direction itself south a little south then I've never heard of seven president. I think it's called seven or dead present not that president black ass movie I Yeah, Miami Beach That's a dangerous place to go with the lady Yeah, yeah, why cuz there's chicks walking are you gonna be you gotta you gotta set the president? I gotta go just full of Rachel The sunglasses on and just. Yeah, I'm telling my girl like, what do you want me to do? Yeah, I'm going to wear my sunglasses. I'm going to look and I'm.

Dudes are hot. Stare at that. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Yeah. Until one walks too close that I'm pissed. It's the hottest guy. He just like I'll stab you in your Achilles. There's a psychological trick around this where you compliment the good looking guys and just let it roll off your skin. That way when it comes out naturally,

when you go, wow, she's fucking, look at this one. Yeah, we hit up. She has to then be, you know. Yeah, God damn. She did, I said. Holy shit. That move has never worked in the history of fucking relationships. It works for me.

Not only is it the most transparent fucking bullshit move, but you could literally spend all morning complimenting the guys in a Donny suit. That would be so funny. Man, look how good that guy looks. That guy looks pretty nice today. Whoa, did you see those fucking tits on there? Yeah, look how good that guy looks that guy looks pretty nice today. Whoa Woman's brains gonna be like well I have to He is he is both sides. He is pretty good.

Those are cool. Paris. He goes, Holy. Bend over, bend over, bend over. I got the tootsies out today. Oh There you go, you don't want to see those yeah, someone's gonna screenshot that trophy Thanks, yeah, I hate the sandals. Oh, come on. I thought you'd like these It's a good slipper back there my slippers

They all wear like the lace-less shoes Yeah, I love these I'll take those over Crocs any day. Yeah Crocs drive me nuts. I might go croc with kitchen though. I put on my own do it Say the truth I How big Crocs got people starting to put the little things on them like you ever seen that be accessorized with them the buttons the buttons Yeah, that's only like no they're called something else. They're called Gibllets or something That drives me crazy. Yeah, I hate giblets. And nurses put giblets on.

Yeah. It's just Applebee's flair. Nurses put giblets on. It's just fucking insane. It's like a movie with the flair waiting. You know what I mean? It's just like I don't walk into a hospital room with cute shit on your feet. Yes.

I'm dying. This is a crisis. I'd rather there This is a crisis. I'd rather there be blood. Just imagine if the cops showed up with giblets. Honestly, I would like to... Get down! They'd just punish your giblets.

Thin blue line giblets. I wonder if they have thin blue line flag giblets. A hundred percent. They definitely do. They're like politically motivated, politically charged giblets. They definitely have a punisher that's like with one blue line through a giblet. This must be a giblet. No way they don't.

Can you check on Etsy for this one? I hope it... Whoa. I mean, where are you even going with that? You see Kanye, last time when you and Jim Crow were on, we talked about Kanye's new song and we changed it to Hallelujah instead of Heil Hitler. This episode is brought to you by SORIC, menswear and barbershop here in Austin. All right, fellas, real talk. If you're still hopping from barbershop to department store to some random tailor your

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Do not talk about the attractive owners large packages. Enjoy the show. But kept the N-word? Yes. You can kind of keep that. I don't know. Wait, what was this? Remember the song that he put out where he just says how he hit me the whole time? He changed it to Hallelujah about last week, two weeks ago.

Kanye did? Oh boy. Yeah, it's not the same. Oh, no. Kanye did. Oh, boy. Let's. Yes. Yeah, it's not the same. It doesn't hit the same. Yeah. Unfortunately, doesn't have the same aggression. I just saw a reel of him on online that some A.I. generated where he's in 19, like 35 German attire. Looks so sick to.

You know, yeah, he's just wearing fucking Hitler gear. Yeah, you know. But he's he's wearing the the dark the dark greens dark blues Yeah, I mean, I don't think anyone complained about their uniforms Yeah, good colorways yeah I like the classic American dark green. I know But even the even the big pants and the boots they had cool hats. They had hammer pants This is sucks. Sometimes the cop I see cops wearing the the Nazi hat

Yeah, they have like like where it's like buttoned down on the side a little bit, you know Yeah, like it's a normal like sort of like cop hat, but think that's a trooper hat I know but it's like guys and they wear the fucking yeah the high boots in the baggy pants does who cleared this hmm a Nazi assault all right you think it adds like an authority look and that's what they're trying to go for it's the wrong type of authority. You know what I'm saying? I disagree We did take their helmets all our troops have their helmets now. Yeah the Nazi helmet. Yeah, they're good design Nazis Nazis I was learning about how the Nazis were trying to get figure out what's going on in Antarctica

I've been learning about Antarctica lately. There's no solid proof about Antarctica. Antarctica is super interesting. You're not allowed to get in there. You can't go in there. You can't fly over it. Like, there's like, did you know any of that? That's a conspiracy. That's where we got the alien. Merged with the aliens.

But you like, for real, like, all countries have like a no-fly zone in Antarctica. Didn't they just say... Is it kind of like the moon? No, a little, because you can... I think if you can't go to the moon you can go if you want to spend their resources Government saying you can't go. Yeah, you need like government permits and stuff to fly over. We hide some cool shit Yeah, I think they're hiding cool shit. I think there could be a lot of evidence of

Civilizations under the ice. I think there may have been a pole shift however many thousand years ago Look, I think they're in block. We're saying it's there may have been a pole shift, however many thousand years ago. And people are saying there's gonna be another pole shift pretty soon. I've heard that. It'll flip or go to the sides. Maybe just, I think it's just a slight tilt that will just. That takes what, 10,000 years?

Some people think it's gonna take 20 years. You tell me something's gonna happen in 30 years, and you go, I don't give a shit, I won't be here. I don't give a fuck about the bullshit. I don't give a fuck about the bullshit. Yeah. Kill them all. Who gives a shit?

Dude, if I was my father right now, one kidney, 77, and you look at like Iran fucking, and the Jews popping off send it I want to see the whole fucking world burn because I already had a good time Oh, yeah. Yeah, kill them all you want to be there at the end. Yeah, I want to see the last fucking Hypersonic missile hit me right in the asshole Can't play golf anymore Spread your cheeks in a hypersonic missile and get in there. I only want to feel it once. I want to die right after. It is crazy. Have you seen any of that footage where it's like there's like a dude playing the saxophone.

Oh, that's kind of a beautiful video. People are still hanging out on a rooftop bar being like, yeah, those missiles are fucking flying over. That might be my favorite video that's come out in this like Era of war that we've been in for forever Israeli guy playing the saxophone. Yeah, but what's his name penny G? I? Like that The Jewish guy playing the saxophone named Penny G. I think it was a Lebanese guy. I think it was a Lebanese guy.

It was. I think his Lebanon is like between. Yeah, I did. So they just watch it go back and forth. If you're not afraid to die like that, that's a probably was like a great drinking night. Oh, yeah I can't have a couple of issues free show. Yeah light show fucking guy was killed it on the sack standing on the table It was probably felt like for real alive screen that moments are too far away. It doesn't bother your hang. I mean, well, you play the saxophone to cover that up. Yeah.

He's like improvising with it. It kind of sounds like baby screaming. Caitlyn Jenner's there. Yeah. Dear God, I hope she's OK. Caitlyn Jenner's bunkered up in Tel Aviv. Hey. It's the upturn. Hey. I hope she's okay Caitlyn Jenner's bunkered up and tell if you hey He's just drinking white wine yeah bunker yeah, yeah, it's killing women

Trying to get some more holes put Let's go! Where the fuck are you going? Give me another beer! Fucking tranny talk! I knew a warlord would bring us here, boys! We go, Hitler war tranny! Let's alive! When did he get there? I think they all went right before He's a beautiful woman He's a beautiful woman for starters.

For sure. I don't know. He just tweeted. He just tweeted with a glass of white wine. He was like in the bunker in Tel Aviv. Who else? There's a lot of people there, ain't it? Like a lot of celebs.

Tarantino's there. Yeah, that's another one. He has an apartment there or whatever. Let me see. Why is Caitlyn Jenner in Tel Av Eve? It's gotta be for kids. Uh, I bet both of them. I imagine fuck kids. Oh, and it went there to fuck kids. Yeah, it's easier to trade little babies out that way. That's gotta be them. Yeah, that's a brutal. That's a brutal wake up. It's not a

fucking just not just once the bomb start It was just once the bomb start being like I gotta stop doing This is dragged me to a place My vices yeah, someone tweeted once that Israel was Wakanda for pedophiles. But Caitlyn Jenner is there because she was helping with the pride festivities. Oh, man. And now she's stuck. What a mistake. I hope it dies. It was a day.

He was. Got to get some more beers. Yeah, we went we went from he to it It's probably gonna be in it pretty soon, where are you going today? We're gonna Phoenix Rocky Mountain Phoenix. Yeah, really and then Probably the mountains you're not gonna go visit her family. Then we're gonna go. Yeah, it's gonna be we're just gonna hop around a little bit Spread some fur. Yeah, really? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah It's not like ashes this fur. We're getting ashes, but we like we got a bunch of fur We look shaved some fur and some whiskers and stuff. I'm trying not to smile

We look shaved, some fur and some whiskers and stuff. I'm trying not to smile. I've never heard anything like that. Dude. We got some fur. Dude. Is that? Okay. Have you told anyone? We haven't talked about it yet. No, no.

You want to? The cat passed. It is tough. Rest in peace. It's tough. R.I.P. Zer. R.I.P. Zer. We love you, buddy. Yeah, it's like I'm not ready to be silly about it a little little bit of course. You know it's a little too raw at the moment Phoenix

In zur's memory No her friend lives there, okay hang with a friend friend a bit And then yeah, it's gotta yeah, the house is tough. Yeah, man. The house is tough Yeah, the mind plays tricks on you. Oh, yeah in the house. Yeah, it's brutal my uh my like family's home dog died not like like two weeks ago and My mom's been talking to me about it. And she's been telling me like just because we had two of them and she's just little shit like when the one goes up the steps

now you used to hear like the extra set of feet and now it's just you don't hear just opening the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so much dude. There's also the thing like with a cat like they're always like they're always in your periphery. Yeah. And so like you wind up like thinking you see stuff Yeah, and then there's just like if there's like a creek in the other part of the house or like yeah It's there's there's so much shit. There's so much coming in through the door Yeah, and you expect like a agree. He jumps out of the tree and you hear like a thump and then you know

Yeah, you're like yeah, there's all these noises that aren't there that it's like fucking it's dark. Yeah, it's You gotta take a little time and you get another one. Yeah, or you go fucking the big dog And just what get a big dog dog? Yeah What stuff could be the time that you could get both? I feel you know the dog and a cat at the same time It's a surprise. Yeah a dog. Yeah, I will tell you you're not gonna travel that much for You won't travel together. Yeah, it's a baby. Yeah, it's a fucking a lot of work Well, I dude I yeah it is that's the that is the tough things cats is like just let it let it yeah

Yeah, let it ride But we've been having to keep pretty close. I don't know why this week Mother-in-law is always coming in coming in she's great to be fresh off the boat yeah yeah yeah Bob Greek mom see you that's nuts he's gonna house when she walks in that fucking place that's brutal man does she come to say that she cooked out that sounds like yeah I wouldn't that's not a good trade. That's not a good trade. That's not a good trade.

How old is she? Is she like farting around the house and stuff? No. No. You know when they get old? They don't bring your brother over and you just start farting all over the house. He's like 58.

Oh, that's great. That's great. How does she look? I was thinking the same thing, Tommy. You got a pic? Yeah. Let's go. She's got an Instagram?

Yeah. She's got an Instagram? I'm not going to say it right now. What's her ad? Good gravy. Let me see if I make some gravy with it. Look through Josh's follows. No, no. Yeah. Look for Gigi. What are they called? Look through Josh's follows

Damn I see it from here I Know that's one of your other strategies too. She's all 60. I'm just saying she looks good. It's a natural drifter taste. We should be so lucky. As long as I'm not egregious, my girl does it all. She's never gotten mad at me for peeking on the beach. Because I do go and go, babe, I can't, I literally can't help myself.

I just won't go to the beach. And then she'll go, and I'm going, all right. I'm just going, I'm not going to go like, yeah, but I'm going to be. Babe, my comedy is about observation. I need to be observing. I need to see the inside of her asshole. I can't just cut myself off from the culture.

I can't change who I am. Maybe I'm black, I cheat. Never have. That is, that change who I am. Maybe a black. I cheat. Never have. That is that's what I say. Everyone anyone? Not on my lady. Yeah. Little man now. Yeah, I still think. Made mistakes.

Just pounded screwdrivers. Y'all man. I wish I could. How was your drinking during that whole process? We hit the sauce? No, I took it, I've taken it mostly easy. We had a couple beers the night before. That was literally, you were literally having a conversation about how much you loved the

cat. We were talking about having kids and Chris was like, I was a psycho about the cat. He was like I could we're talking about like having kids and Chris was like I was a psycho about the cat. I can't even and then the next day. Yeah Yeah, that was tough woke up hungover as fuck. He was not doing good It was wild Well, we love you. Yeah, we love you. I love you guys, too Thank you for doing this Thank you for doing this. Thank you for doing the morning. No, he was dead. I was happy I got out of the hell You're welcome. I guess the do we need more beers? We're

I would also do one more. Yeah, let's go everyone's getting sentimental 15 minutes That is gonna be the rest is gonna be the rest of your guys day. Yeah, which I love Which is it's been 30 minutes since you had a beer and you're like, oh man fuck yeah. All right get another one Unreasonable time for my girl and I to go like you want to go get lunch You have some drinks. Yeah, there's no idea why Keeping it rolling. Thank you, bro. Oh, it's a dream Well, yeah, you have to the day drinking is so good. Yeah Ever done straight-up day drinking and all

Get done day drinking and everybody just leaves and you're like Yeah Yeah for bass out at 9 p.m. No, I Had to get up at 630. I went to bed around 3 yeah, but I didn't I wasn't drinking last night Like I had like two glasses of wine I get to like midnight going now's my time. Yeah, but I've been up My clock has been set dude. Yeah, yeah every weekend at the ship. I got 11 o'clock. Yeah. Yeah, my 4 o'clock Yeah, just three four o'clock yeah just firing so even when you take care of yourself I can't just shut it down no

just staring at the wall yeah yeah you got a hit a star I had a star watch that mortician show speaking of ashes which one HBO there's three episodes oh I thought you meant the evil one. About an evil mortician? Mm-hmm. I never heard of that. I thought you meant the gay one. No, it's a documentary. Oh. This family, the Skonses, that were like Pasadena royalty, and they'd been around for like 150

years. They were like the go-to funeral home and cremation. Good gravy and the son was taken over for the parents And he just sold all the fucking dollars and started piling up these bodies and cooking them at the same time Everybody get a bag of ash of whoever the fuck You know to me they didn't know if it was gravel or or dead bodies and then he started there's murders apparently he was killing people Damn, how do you get caught? That feels like a foolproof plan You just combined like tree cutting with I'm sorry. I've been drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Same. Put a yeah, yeah. In the woodshed. Somebody claimed that it wasn't their parent. Somebody it just opened a fucking can of worms. Then they look through the books and they figured out this guy was like the average cremations were like 100 and something when he started. And like three or four years later,

he was up to like 1200 or 1500. Which is impossible because the regulations via the state was you have to cook one body at a time, which takes a certain amount of hours. Then you're supposed to clean all that ash out and restart the process so Yeah, you can only do X not possible. Yeah in 24 hours Yeah

If you're working around the clock then we's doing that and then he just had some meth head fucking beans Popping these fucking bodies in this Did he uh like they go to jail for this yeah He got do you want to hear the end? Yeah, I mean it got off very easy only got like five years because they couldn't they apparently changed the the wording in the in the Contracts the families had to sign Which said they could do removals of kidneys eyes hearts Removal of tissue would be up to them in their decision.

Right. They think that's just like a facelift or something. Yeah. Yeah. You are like trimming fat off a chicken. Yeah. Meanwhile, this guy was taking out hearts, taking out eyeballs, selling organs, and then he was stealing teeth like the fucking

Germans did. He's taking gold and silver out of their faces, stealing rings off the... Yeah. He was straight up selling like a black market like eyeballs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you doing an eyeball Yeah, so he only got five years because of the contract shit and who fucking caught a Colombo Who went through like they go through the ash going like but one doesn't smell like whiskey this is not my grandpa grave detail but they I like that one. It's so hokey, it's fun. See, we're popping off now, dude. Fire up another round.

This is a good morning cast. I like this. The morning cast is nice. He's got the whole day to drink. He's one of those fucking psychopaths that like, he got away with so much that he just, his brain changed. So as soon as he got out, much like OJ, he just committed some fucking weird felony

where he was a bus driver Driving these animals from like the desert to like a casino And he printed fake tickets and then they put him away for like another ten years Like OJ got off to like now we're gonna smack you with everything we possibly can and then that wasn't even enough He did something else and then at the very end of the interview much like The staircase is zero quit in the interview much like the staircase is zero quitting this guy Yeah, the staircase Can't just he's just put it on I got a whole CDL CB radio is expensive, dude. Dude, my brother had a CB radio in like high school to talk to all the drunk guys.

That's so fucking funny. You could hear like the police scan too. It was like this rule. Who's the guy that he was taking, that old Jew that was taking a piss? And he's like, of course I did it. I did them all. Oh yeah. Jinx. The Jinx. The Jinx. Yeah, yeah. At the very end of this documentary he goes, oh yeah, I did it. I did them all. Oh, yeah. Oh, jinx. What? The jinx, the jinx. Yeah, yeah. At the very end of this documentary, he goes, well, I can't talk about that one.

He's like, yeah, you know, let's just say they never found that one. And because they had to break for like sound audio issues. Yeah. And he goes, but I'll tell you off camera, actually, there was three of them total. But I don't want to get in trouble. You want to get me. You don't get me trouble. Yeah. And one of us was like, I don't want to hear about it. If that's like a thing, I don't want to.. You won't get me you won't get me trouble. You want to like I don't want to hear about it. If that's like a thing I don't want to probably already knew they got it.

Yeah, and according that's how it ends just go like black screen. I don't know if there's going to be a charge to get ending. He literally was like there's nothing they could find anyway because he was just tossing right the fucking incendiary. Anyway, would you guys watch it three a.m.? I was watching Home Improvements. Really? I've been crushing Home Improvements.

Home Improvements is good. It's really good. I just can't stop looking at Tim Allen like a fucking coke dealer. So funny. Yeah, it was kind of awesome. We got caught with like 200 fucking kilos. And then we're like, get out of here. I heard it turned states evidence. It's kind of like 200 fucking kilos I returned I turned states ever see yeah, of course he did good for him good for him. Yeah, right

Yeah, get out of that. He's still getting chops Yeah We had a guy piss at us the other day. Oh, we did have a guy pissing us at Kelly's Through piss at you no no no no never got close to we would have killed him piss at us at Kelly's the other day. Pissed at you? Pissed at us? True piss at you. No, no, no, no, no. It never got close to, we would have killed him. We were in an alleyway. He could have died. If I was drunker, I would have gotten so mad.

It was that level of like, cause he got kinda close to La Mer and he was where I had perfect like a line on his temple. Like I was our, we were smoking, we were smoking in the jail back of Kelly's Irish, what should we? Kelly's Irish. Yeah of Kelly's Irish pub and this dude went to piss. He was pissing right next to us, just like in a bush, but kind of close. And Lamar was like, go further, man. I can see your dick.

And then he was like, shut the fuck up. He shut the, yeah, they had all, then Lamar hit him with his dick. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. They had to shut the fuck up all for a second. And then Gardeve. They're not going to do that with a dick out. It's so funny. Shut the fuck up all for a second and then No, he put his dick away by the time if you were like dude you go further you see your dick It guy takes one step back. You know guys good Tiny penis now he had some no, I mean I must see some balls

tiny penis. No, he had some, I mean, I was about to say he had some balls, but that's not what I'm trying to say. He did, he had huge balls. He had huge balls and a little drunk wiener. Cause Gardeid, he started filming at us. I started filming him, I started filming him piss, and then I panned to LaMare and he was like, optimal noctus, July 1st, great video. And then I panned back to him and he's pointing his dick at us and pissing and I'm filming him and he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't. He just pissed at us for a good maybe 15 seconds. How did that end?

He tried to come over and damp us. He tried to come over and give me elbows. I was like, bruh, nah. It was more about not even the pissing. The pissing was hilarious. It was the him and LaMare back and forth that I was still like... Yeah, he's just a drunken fool. Yeah, he was just a drunk He's been a drug big head funny, but it's so funny to be that drunk and stand your ground in the dumbest way

I Have the video if you want to see it Tom, it's great. It's hilarious guys two hats Yeah, they must have played 36 holes that day Like cool guy. Yeah, he's just a little little bit too drunk. Yeah, they do respect the move of being like filming I don't give a shit And he came back in the bar like nothing he was a stumble bum And he came back in the bar like nothing. He was a stumble bum. He was like, he was just bouncing off the walls,

get to the bar, order a drink, bounce his way back. It was like one of those things where the drink would be spilt empty by the time he got, and he'd be like, uh, and go back. He was a complete stumble bum. Stumble bum. He was a stumble bum, a crumble bum. Yeah.

I've been a stumble bum. I can't judge. That was a stumble bum. All right, guys. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, that've been a stumble bump. I can't judge. I was a stumble bum. All right guys Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's great Off the Phoenix. Yeah. All right. Thank you for doing that. Oh, thank you guys. God bless you. Yeah. See you tomorrow Yeah, I'll be around. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Fuck. Yeah All right, boys. Oh, wow. It's like well lit. Yeah