Stuff Island - Smash Burger - Stuff Island #238

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/STUFFISLAND to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code STUFFISLAND. #ad Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://www.BetterHelp.com/STUFFISLAND. Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, you get nauseous. You get nauseous if you work out? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. I can't fucking... It is that thing where it's like, if you do like core stuff or you have legs, it, like, makes you fucking crazy. I don't know if it's like the... What's that acid that comes out of your muscles?

Lactic acid. Lactic. Yeah. I think there's just something that like... Doing your legs is, like, central to all the power. you know what I mean same with like the core it's like it's too deep yeah it kills you when and then you can't like if you do like a lot of core stuff then you just got to spend the rest of the day being like yeah well wait he see me today I shook getting on the toilet yeah

I did fucking RDLs stretching out that hamstring is like the most pain and then you're ruined for three four days you know yeah yeah walking sucks yeah everywhere is You gotta use the seat to get on the toilet. It's like you gotta lean into it. You're going one, two, three to get up. Oh, man. Dude, let me tell you something. Charleston, South Carolina.

Have you ever been to Charleston? Yeah, it's gorgeous. It's fucking unbelievable. Yeah. Why are you saying this? Atyr's premiere? What? No, it was just there this weekend.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dude, it's gorgeous. It's crazy. Yeah. It's everything you want. It's crazy.

What did you do there? Stayed my hotel room. Typical comic I did too much dude I did too much I did too much I was out and about I was checking out the city

and I you know the stand-up suffered you're just too tired yeah what's the crowds go out and the crowds are great it's like a good it's a fucking

there are a couple that's the other thing too the dude it's such a like it feels like it's a big drink in town I don't understand how you wouldn't just get fucking wrecked yeah

it's so It's like a cute New England fishing town with palm trees. Yeah. Beautiful beaches. It's like ridiculous. As soon as you see a beach, my hands just starts going like this. Yeah. Imagine going on a beach and not drinking.

That's what I was saying. You go out on a boat. You're like, Yeah, a boat. What am I going to do? Yeah, I'll take a die coat. My hands are tied. No.

Yeah. Let's black out and drop a rod in the water. And I even like, I swear, during the day I took it easy. But like, still it gets to you. I'd say it took it easy. you have six fucking drinks. That is easy. I know,

but it's still just like, Guinness and shit. Yeah. That's still, it's like two shots, a lot of alcohol. I know, but dude,

then you get to the late show. Then I like, you know, and you're just like, this is, come on, dude. Did you have two Friday,

two Saturday one Sunday? Uh, no, it's two Friday, two sat one Thursday. Oh. Yeah. That's all right.

Yeah. It's better than Sundays. I know. Dude, Sundays at the mothership. What? Sundays at the mothership are fucking fantastic. They're the best. It's so strange.

Yeah. Dude, Sunday's shows have always been good. Really? I, yeah. In my experience, they were always sneaky good. I remember the first time I ever did one, you know, the whole thing was just like, oh, fuck, Sunday fucking show. Yeah. And it was great. And the,

helium and Philly would do those, like, they would do one at like four. Yeah. And it was awesome. Yeah. It was crazy. They're still riding the weekend vibes. They don't have the fucking, you know, the thought of hell coming the next yet, they're still getting pickled. Yeah.

Sun's up. It's nice. They don't feel guilty. Yeah, everyone just feels like, yeah, just feels like you got a free day. Wednesday, throw into a wood chipper. Wednesday's the worst day for comedy. It's hands down every single week. Why do I even put my dates at?

Yeah, Wednesdays are tough. But then I cut off Sundays for football season. See, I'm only available Monday, Saturday. I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sundays, yeah. You're not going to want to see me on Sunday. I can't.

beat through my fucking drywall at 4 p.m. Because the fucking Eagles lost and then pretend that I give a shit about anything else. Yeah. Speaking of it would be sick to see the Knicks go down. Knicks are looking pretty good. They are looking good. Absolutely heartbreaking for Wemby, dude. That sucks.

Absolute butt fumble moments. Crazy. Like everything. That last pass was like, even as a Knicks fan, you'd have to feel bad for that, dude. You were like, I don't want to, I don't want these kids to lose like that. Dude. And the game before, just dribble off the foot. Yeah, fuck.

Just brutal. And it was perfect. It was timing out perfectly. One last shot? Yes. It was like, it was like prime set up for just like epic moments that you'd be watching for the next 20 years. It could easily be 0.2. 2.

It ought to be. Where are you, Charleston characters? Carolina. Were they all like old rich money Republicans or were the young kids? It's a hodgepodge, dude. It's a hodgepodge. It's a big mix. But yeah,

there's definitely a lot of money. They have, they have like, dude, it's the best porch town. Yeah. I've ever seen in my life, too.

Yeah. They got wrap around porches. They got one screen in one open air. You know why they design them like that. Dude, I know. This is what I said, dude. You start seeing the raw,

raw, iron fences. It's all spiked. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That lemonade must be hitting a little different. Dude, that's what I was saying. The triple deck are porch. You don't see that.

The first two decks of porches, that's for enjoying the outdoors. That third deck is for something else. Yeah, you better work faster, boy. Yeah, that's for watching people. Yeah, 100%. You have 360 watch on your plantation. Dude, look, it does feel like a sniper tower. Yeah.

It's not good. It's not good. I can't get past it. As beautiful it is as it is, you go, that was, I don't know who did that one, but that's bad intentions. Some of that architecture,

you should really just, you know, absorb and go, wow, look how gorgeous this is. And then it hits you. Like, that's a scary tree. Yeah, yeah. That's a scary fence. That's inescapable.

Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of land here for some crops. Wow, the lowest bridge is really high on that tree. I really, I really don't like what that tree... Yeah, that would be like, for me, sleeping in a haunted house if I'd stay there. I'd be like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of sketchy...

That's a lot of history, dude. Yeah, a lot of history there. Just the creak of the floorboard. A lot of history. Am I bothering you? You just gonna sit here and yawn the whole fucking day? You don't like my racially intensive jokes? What did you guys get up to this weekend?

Just did show. So I'm watching my dog alone. So that's like fucking hell on earth. Oh, damn. No, it's great, but you can't. I got a bopped right back from the shows. Yeah, you got to, yeah, full time. Full time with the pup.

I was supposed to go to Tony's birthday party last night. I walked three quarters of the way there. Yeah. After my set at the mothership. And I was like, I can't do this, man. Yeah. Like I could see them. Yeah.

Like in the bar. I just took a hard ride. It's like, what's her face in good film? Jimmy's like, no, down there, down the left. Down the alley. I can't, Jimmy, I gotta go. Yeah, yeah, dude, there is, like, especially if you're like a certain amount

are already banged up. Yeah, just exhausted, man. I was going to dog park all weekend. Let me tell you something. One of my favorite places on Earth. I know. Dude, it's so fucking fun. And I've talked about this place called...

You'll cut that, actually. But this... Yeah, this park is like... It's got a... It's got a clientele that makes enough money that, you know, you're not getting these these ball bags and these dirt balls. You got to have a dog to get in, don't you? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's one of the requirements to fucking dog park. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, come on. It does have a bar restaurant. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You said it's got like a whole, it's like a little country club in there. The dog is the membership. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess you could bop in for a sandwich. I don't think you. Not without a dog. Yeah. Well, yeah, they got like a double gate to enter in and then they log in your dog as soon as they see you. Do you ever see any, like, furries there trying to pretend that they're dogs?

No, I saw a... To get... Obviously, these pair of lesbians, they paint it their dog like as a big, fluffy, giant white dog, and they dyed its hair, like four different colors.

So it just looks like a fucking, like a clown. That's bananas. Yeah, it's cruel. What did they do? Also, the die job was... Did they do it for, like, the spurs? The dye job...

No, no, no. It was all gay colors. It was a fucking rainbow flag. I, I, I, I, But the Spurs kind of do that. They do that turquoise, the yellow, the red. Yeah, they did. When they put our jerseys, when we went to game one,

yeah, yeah. All the jerseys are different colors in the sections, which is kind of light. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of neat. Otherwise, everyone gets a plain colored jersey, whether it's black, white, or whatever color the team is. They gave you a jersey?

No, no, no. They just put the shirts over your. Yeah, yeah. And I'm sitting next to some Latino guy, and he's like, what's matter? You don't like shirts? Oh, yeah. And I was like, no, yeah, I wouldn't dare put another team on my back.

and I told him I'm from Philly and then it turns out he's a Dallas Cowboy fan so then it got like real awkward for a second Yeah Until I was watching it go I was watching the Knicks fans Celebrating game one and I was thinking about you The whole time I was just like uh oh

It's not going to like that There was two I was just going this is I didn't even think about you Just being caught between Knicks fans and Cowboys fans What are you put? on the shirt. Two in front of me,

you don't want to put on the shirt? The two in front of me were, were, just yapping, like you're, you're, you're, you're a typical fucking Nick fan.

Yeah. You know, I was like, what are you fucking Puerto Rican? He's like, yeah. And his other buddy was, let me guess,

Dominican, and he goes, yeah. Two hardcore Nix fans, Dominican and Puerto Rican. The fucking Nick's jersey's right in front of me. I'm like,

this is fucking, but it's such a good game, man. And everybody's boys, we start buying each other for years. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, yeah. Good vibe in there.

It was a great vibe. That place doesn't really have negative energy. You know, they got fucking... Dude, how loud is it in that fucking thing? It's great. It's great. It's crazy. It's awesome.

It's like an old school coliseum. Yeah. They don't make stadiums like that. The new ones, they don't. Because the seating... I'm guessing, like, the seating... Doesn't really make sense for that design anymore. I think they just don't have a hockey team.

Although they might have a minor league hockey team. hockey team that plays. I don't know. Usually they place minor league teams there, even if it was for Dallas. Yeah, yeah. They go somewhere else. Some San Antonio farm team. I think,

I think that actually used to be the Phoenix Coyotes. Yeah. Farm team was in San Antonio. Really? I think so. I think that's true. But I don't know. But yeah,

it's built for basketball. It's built for fucking basketball. Dude, that's like, that's what it's like, like the U.S. Open, like that level of pit. Yeah, yeah. You don't see that anymore.

No. Because you got to. No, no. You got to have two teams. Yeah, play Kato. other sports where it's like what design makes sense for each,

just go right in the middle, you know, meet there. I told you, I've fucking, I started to be a pro in NHL 26, and I got drafted by the Utah Mammoth. And I've spent the entire time to maintain. Trying to trade. I can't stand being in the building because it's, that's so funny. The hockey arena is built for basketball,

so one end has that like, it just cuts into the, like the riser and it's just like the wall it's like going to like and it affects your video gaming i just it's like i don't like playing for this team you know what i mean there's no history we're in a basketball stadium so what it's disgusting what is that how you just like your your agent you just write them a letter going i'm not happy here that i i yeah i like sent a letter to the owner actually i i i fucked up you can do this in fucking n-h yeah i messed Dude, this type of shit is made for your brain.

You know the designers are like, no one's going to do this. Yeah, no, I handled it the wrong way. He got pissed. I actually didn't write it in the way. Now, here's your homework. Dude, I'm not going to say names or anything, but Chris... Wrote a strongly worded letter. Chris was getting bombarded by our ad agency for...

We were all getting bombarded. We were all. And then Chris had enough one night. We're at a show. and he responded in a very Chris-like fashion that was fucking all-timer. Yeah, yeah. But he looks over me, he's like,

did you get that email? And I was like, right before I was going on stage, I was like, no, what email? And he pulls his phone up and he just handed it to me. And I read it, I'm like, Jesus, dude. I thought it was nicely done. Oh, it was like the most aggressive yet passive aggressive

backhand in the fucking face. Yeah, yeah, that's how you have to, that's professional. Yeah. That's what I understand to be professionalism. The HR cunts would put that on the Hall of Fame wall. Yeah, yeah. The worst cunts in HR history.

Like, this is the worst one we've ever seen. And now some homework for you. Yeah, that's kind of what the GM hit me with. Well, the dismount. The dismount. The dismount. The dismount on the email. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Because it's whatever taste is left in the mouth. You know what I'm saying? You start off with that top on your life. This is uncomfortable. And then you go, but seriously, it's great working with you. You flip the script, dude. You started soft and fucking boom. Kick to the nuts.

But dude, yeah, I got in the same kind of trouble with the... NHO. The mammoth owner. Because I didn't... Dude, I didn't know how anything worked. What? You don't like type out a letter. It was just like, do you?

want like there was a moment where the agent was like do you want to trade and I was like yeah but I guess I there's an option to like go to the owner and ask and there's an option that just is you go into the press and being like I want out of this fucking place and I I I yeah I so I did that one you went to the press yeah yeah so you made it weird for the whole team huge mistake and that GM was like fucking no dude yeah that's what he said so now I'm just playing does he take you off the ice a lot now no no now I've been playing pretty good. It doesn't affect anything? Your behaviors?

The team, my teammates, my like team chemistry is in the basement right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which means they don't like pass you the puck and they're kind of... Yeah.

See, you can't have both. There's a couple days, yeah. I kind of like that. You know what I mean? You're going to get up to the podium, post game and bitch about everything inside the locker room. That's a no-no.

And then you're going to fuck up the chemistry. This is what A.J. Brown did to the Eagles when we have the best team in the last 25 years. I didn't realize. So in the game, right? Like you... Fuck you, AJ Brown.

I stood up for you. I thought you were going to be on the field. You thought you would come around. Yeah. I thought it was just all media filling the gaps in between NFL months of coverage. Because that's what they do. NFL used to be like six months long. And now it's 12 months.

You throw in fantasy football and you throw in... Like plucking the ribs of the black players saying, aren't you made it this guy? Aren't you made it this guy? He said this. And then they go up. There's another story. We can run for a week.

Yeah. Yeah, where's the rest of the Diana Rossini photos? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I hear that. When are those, when's the next drop? You know? I don't like her mouth. Or do you think they settled something?

She's got asshole lips, you know, when she has zero lips, and she has this weird curl, and her voice is God awful. Yeah. God awful. Imagine that yelling down the steps. Oh, got to feel bad for a little bit. She's really, she's gotten totally. really.

I don't think anyone feels bad for her in the business. What she was doing is like really bad. No, no, I know. But the fact that Vrable gets to just keep rocking. Yeah, he's a handsome big boy.

Played sports. It's got to be tough. Yeah, he gets to paint her back and then just go on living. Has anyone, have we gotten like a health check on her? What's going on? Is she?

I don't know. She'll probably win some fucking lawsuit. If I were her, I'd be in, I'd be in Kamchaca, dude. I'd be checked out. I think here's the thing, though, from what I have,

the little bit I know and understand and read, she's done some serious shit that's like, might be like liable lawfully. Yeah. Like for, you know, court time and all the things. But apparently NFL doesn't want to raise any of that issue. Yeah.

So I don't think they're going to pursue any of that stuff because they don't want to know that, they don't want people to know that they are gab. in this business that can be infiltrated and curated to change the game. How could that be that shocking? You know what I mean? I know.

Wow. I don't know you think a fucking multi-billion dollar business could just like have security around. But it's the nature of the press, man. It's nature of people. People work, people. You know, they try to get them to say things

that are advantageous to them. You know what I mean? You do what you got to do to put the best team on the field. Yeah, pharmaceuticals take out fucking doctors to play golf so that you write their scripts. Yeah. pretty nuts.

Apparently she's gotten a couple more coaches and that's about to come out. Oh boy. Really? That's what the latest thing is said. I think they have the CIA or FBI doing like a deep dive into all this stuff

to find out how deep it goes. That's why you're not hearing anything. I think they're compiling all the evidence. What are you seeing? This is the latest article? There's like seven articles being like the bombshell is about to drop. Mike Frable's not the only one.

A reporter reveals Diana Rossini's multiple relationships with, or had a relationship with multiple head coaches. And that was posted six hours ago. And it's apparently about to. Good, gravy. Who knows, but that's just what I'm seeing right now. Good, dravy. Yeah, dude.

That's. And the whole AJ to fucking Patriots thing. Like, she has some influence in that. Are they just literally going through every positive article she wrote about other coaches? And then just being like. Yeah, yeah. Did you fuck her? Yeah, yeah.

It gets swabbing her mouth. I guess it's good that she hated on the Eagles so much. That means our boys probably, he's good. Yeah. Our staff is good. Big Dom probably. Oh, God. Big Dom said, get her out of here.

He probably tapped in. He'll take this one. I'll turn this fucking whopping opinion. The rare Italian journalist. He probably was all fucking hyped up. God. Who do you think he's knocking around? Everything and anything.

He probably just goes to like fucking... What's that bar downtown? Ruske. No. He's just like a celebrity to all these young kids. True. Knocked around all these 23-year-olds.

Damn. Just to say you rode big... That or he's a family man. He might be one of those guys who has like eight kids. That'd be nice. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good...

It's a good warm story. No, he's not. He's fucking... He's wrecking these bitches and Irish pubs. Yeah, yeah. It's the nature of the bodyguard. You got to stay active.

Yeah, yeah. You got to be out there. You're covering other people. That's how you do already else. The team is his children. You pick up a fucking drunk 23-year-old off the floor, but you keep your knee stiff. All right, this episode is brought to you by Better Health.

For some, summer is a favorite season. Travel picks up, kids are out of school, and adventure is the focus. For others, juggling and all can be tough and can lead to overwhelm and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. and many worry about wasting their days of sunshine. You know?

Summer can be tough. A lot of heavy boozing in the summer. Yeah. You know? Well, you run your kids a lot too. Yeah, yeah. You're getting stressed out on everything, every level. Yeah, yeah.

A lot of... Waring yourself thin, you've got to talk to somebody. I know. Getting everyone together and getting them around, you know, getting them down to the vacation spot, getting them down to the beach, getting up to the lake. If you're not healthy, Chris, they're not healthy.

Exactly. That's why you put the mask on yourself before saving your child on an airplane. playing. Excellent point, Tom. And with over 330,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 6 million people globally, and it works. With an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews, BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals.

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Make it work for you. Take advantage of interest savings on cash app today. Now, you've got to protect your back. You got to protect your back. Keep it flat. Especially him. You keep it flat. You lift your legs, big dumb.

Oh, man. Well, I hope it's not like the Epstein files and they actually deliver some of this stuff. Yeah. Because it can't be that big of a fucking deal. But I don't know. Well, I don't know. I hope so. What, Epstein files?

Stephen Hawking on their sceney list Yeah, yeah, yeah That would be pretty sick That fucking poor husband I know we're like four weeks late on this But we never like doing I was waiting for something to come out That was interesting

But the fucking husband man The husband, yeah, that's That sucks man That sucks. With kids and then they're just doing a montage I've heard like talking shit about him everywhere Yeah How he's average

What does he do again? I don't think he's in fine finance. That's got to be, yeah. How do you roll into work? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I'm going to be working remote the next couple weeks.

Yeah. Yeah, if you need me. And then you hear a gunshot on a Zoom. He works for, he's a corporate executive for Shake Shack. Okay. All right. He's also flipping buns, huh? I know, I know.

I know. That's about it's about a smash burger. Special sauce on everyone. He's a smash burger. She's a fucking smash burger. Smash burger. What a great nickname around the office for her. Yeah.

If you were on burgers. You never know you're talking about your ex-wife? Every time they say smash burger in a conversation, he walks up at the watercler, like, what do you guys laugh about? I was talking about smash burgers. Yeah. It's crazy what they're doing these days. They had to probably switch them over to fries.

Yeah. Concrete. Let's get you away from smash burgers for a little while. It's triggering. Well, apparently he was a successful guy. Yeah, I think so, right? It's doing well at Shake Shack, good for him. And you know what?

The burger business has... It's not going anywhere. The burger business has had his fair share of scandals. You know what I mean? Nothing new under the sun. Yeah, McDonald was a fucking Nazi idea. Yeah, yeah, nobody's, yeah. You don't start during that time without a little...

Stop saying that. I'm just saying. It's got 40s and 50s. We're having fun with Burmese and 50s. We're having fun with Burma. Burgers and infidelity. Well, let's try to flip the script. You got to bring the boys in.

Not myself and I'm hungry, I guess. I will say, I did, when I was on the boat, I saw, there was like a really nice, like... Wait, you rented a boat by yourself? No, no, my buddy, my buddy had a boat. Of course, you always know some fucking dude. Dude, there's like an infamous clip. You won't be way before you

when we first started this podcast. It's me, Chris and Shane, and Astoria. Yeah. We're both like ragged on Christmas. He's like, I don't, I never get on boats. I don't know. I was like, your brother has a boat. You're on that all the time.

He's like, yeah, well, he's got a boat. And a couple of my friends have a boat. They're like, well, what are you talking about? You're always on a boat. Well, I was saying that I didn't get out on boat. Once my brother got a boat, I started getting out on boats. But I was not boat. Anyway, you got a friend in Charleston who has a boat.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we were driving around huge, like on the corner. of one island this huge property beautiful house three decks uh yep they had triple decked triple decked and they had the israeli flag flying on the corner and i was just kind of like bro take it down yeah not now yeah you know what i mean yeah protect the brand a little bit nobody's gonna see that and go oh they're just like us yeah yeah It's like this house is unbelievable, man. What a surprise.

You got to just put the American flag up. Yeah. Ironically, every time I... Have a blue boat. Have a blue boat. Yeah. Disguise it a little bit. Yeah.

You don't have to... They don't know how to do that. I didn't want to walk you down this path. It's not one of the... It's not one of the traits. I wanted you to know that I saw that and I was like, come on, guys. They're not knowing to hide it. It'll come out.

Either personality, their intention, or their false pride. Yeah. Good on them. Yeah. They're in a nice house. Hopefully they'll come back. Hopefully they'll get it. Sure it wasn't centuries old stolen from someone else.

Anyway, where did you guys? Charleston's wonderful. Yeah, it's a great city. Beautiful. Lots of history down there. There's cool stuff. Battle Fort Sumter. Yeah.

There's a lot of good stuff going on. A lot of good. Big cannons. Did you guys fish? We didn't fish. We almost fished, but it was too hung over. What's their fort there?

Fort Sumter. Sumpter. Yeah, and then there's another one. There's like a Fort Rochelle or something. Yeah, there was a huge port, right?

What was a huge port? It was the beginning of the Civil War. Yeah. The South, the South touched it off by taking Sumpter. Yeah. It's wild to see it. How'd that work out.

What? Yeah, yeah, no. Then we came down and gave him the business. It should have been bigger. apparently there were no deaths what yeah no deaths in south carolina well i'm saying

well i'm saying in the battle for fort sumter oh there's some people got you know a couple cuts and bruises i don't believe this at all but they were hold up how many deaths forts up in there during the civil war there's no fucking way the original the original battle

what didysburg had 300,000 uh one one battle? No, no, no. I think, no. It was probably in the tens of thousands, I think.

Oh, was it overall? Yeah, overall, I think 600,000 died. I think. Nobody died during the battle, but two Union soldiers died post battle during surrender ceremonies

when a cannon misfired. Oh, my God. Dude, that's like the day after Vietnam. Like when they signed the papers, but it never gets through your crew and you're still behind enemy lines and you die when the war was over. Do you know how many cases of that there were? It was fucking crazy. It's like the fucking curb thing where this guy's cousin died 9-11.

You got hit by a bus uptown. But he's still trying to make it like he died 9-11. never forget he was uptown what's that norm he was at norm macdonald jay about he was I lost my brother in 9-11 and I trudged through all the bones and ash to look for him

he's like I found him he was fine he's in Minnesota he's in Minnesota he's in Minnesota yeah yeah he was in Miscocke oh god got to it was on that show. I know.

It's so funny. Yeah, that show's great. That show was great. I still get a pretty healthy diet of those clips. Yeah. So fun. So funny. I got Hodgett. Drinking too many celtzers. Too much citric acid. Just being in chains pool. So all you do is

just drink fucking. Oh, yeah, yeah. 40 white claws. Yeah. White claws. White claws have not been going down good. No, they're the worst ones. Yeah. And for some reason I can taste the shitty vodka more us nowadays.

Yeah. I'm like really tasting the you ever hear that myth that you could take like pop-pavs vodka and throw it

through the Britta like three times That's true Triple distill it That's true Comes out real nice Yeah That's true

Why you just do that? I don't know Why don't we do that in college? What did that in college? Save all the fucking money Well I don't know Britas weren't as Prevent

Probably they weren't Yeah Yeah Brits are new The filters are new British aren't new Well, I'm saying I have probably longer than that

But you know They weren't as prevalent Did you grow up with filtered water? No Yeah We had well water on my street Yeah Which is the lowest form of water

Awful Yeah Yeah That's you're getting poisoned by Monsanto On a pretty regular basis No he's up in Minnesota Or a fucking Idaho Iowa

Iowa what's your name Jake I mean every one of the states Was Monsanto in your area? What was that? Was Monsanto in your area?

I don't know if that is Oh, that's a seed company For the farming Yeah, they make everything I don't think so then We were a big cement town Oh really? Yeah

Making cement, dude Yeah That's And then the plant There's two plants Both shut down All the jobs went away Why?

I don't know why they shut down. I just know that in like 2004-ish, it's just like the population, like cut in half. Damn, yeah, it's probably NAFTA. I started getting Mexican concrete. Yeah. Yeah. All the jobs left Iowa.

Yeah. And the job got done in fucking one-third of the time. You fat assholes where Applebee's wearing a hard hat. They take fucking little dirt naps, 20 minutes of time on their truck. So you really, you lived to close the plant town.

Yeah. What was that like? Well, there was also bean factories that sprouted up after once. Switch to beans. Come on. Come on. Stop me. Happened everywhere.

It's also nafted. Bean factories open everywhere. God damn I think the bean factory took over what kind of Garbanzo Pinto

I think it's or soy I think it might be soy It's whatever they use for feed I don't know I'm probably speaking way I think it's right I think so is what use for feed

I don't know My dad worked at the My dad worked at the bean factory for a little while and then he started working for the city. He was a railroad, bean factory, working for the city. Damn. What was he doing for the city? He did water maintenance.

He was in the water maintenance. When did he drop out of school like sixth grade? He wasn't, uh, no, he went to the Marines, then going to school to be a DJ. No, he was a DJ. Oh my God, he was a DJ in Minneapolis for like, for like two years. And then...

That rules. Whoa. There's just like a little school. It's obviously not like college for DJ. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He might have got scammed. What was he spinning?

Well, he can do the voice. The rate... Welcome back to 103.7. Oh, he was like Casey Casey. Oh, he was trying to get in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Radio. Radio DJ.

I'm thinking like... True disc jockey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So he did that for a little bit and then... Does he still do the voice every once in a while? He used. used to do commercials freelance.

That's cool. He like he like sang a couple jingles and local commercials. That's incredible. That's incredible. Yeah, that dude's resume is all over the fucking guy.

Yeah, dude. He's forced, he's for scump of Iowa. But yeah. What was he? Welcome to W-A-L-L-P. I'm not sure. I never.

Minneapolis. I've never heard of it. Twin, Cities. Yeah, wake up Twin Cities. I mean, what's the, what's the schooling? You just give some guy $175? I have no idea.

And they teach you how to hit buttons? I mean, probably. I can't imagine being more complex than like. Yeah, it's all the audio. It's just, here's how you turn it on. You're how you switch tracks. I don't know. It depends how much control over the selection that he had.

I don't know. Or was he just playing? were they telling him what to play? Yeah, yeah. this one's coming at you it's Alexandra it's her 13th birthday your family loves you very much

yeah I'm I'm in the year fuck that's so funny how has that not come out yet mancy that's but that is interesting

that it's like a proper you go to school for communications for stuff like that right in college I think people I've always heard that people like learn that that broadcaster voice that's like a yeah so you go to like a yeah but there's only true you can change your voice but like the true baritone the guys that really have it yeah this guy I'm sure yeah there's people who just it's like NBA announcers it's like you could teach the flow and and educate yourself on the game itself and the pacing of it but like there's certain voices out there you like emirate and like all the guys you love you can't teach that voice it's like fucking silk robe over a wish I do feel like it's really falling off. Yeah.

I feel like it's kind of a lost art. I agree with this. Broad, like the good play-by-play and like color guys. Yeah. They don't. I mean, look what's happened to ESPN.

There's a new fucking anchor every every year. Yeah. It's like I got to learn this fucking guy and what's he got there. It's special. I know. You know?

And none of them really have the voice. They're just kind of regular people. You know what I mean? All the old guys had like a real distinct. Yeah. Crazy broadcast voice. Yeah. It was awesome.

But they all probably sexually sold at a steakhouse every noon, you know? Mm. Probably. Bristol, Connecticut. What else is there to do? Yeah, there's probably a big problem. Central Connecticut was getting, yeah. Stanford shit hole.

Yeah. Oh, it's getting nice. Stanford's getting nice because New York, no one can afford to live in New York anymore, so everyone leaves in Stanford. Well, there's like one strip of, like, nice restaurants, and it's just, like, desolate. You have to take a train to the next shit hole. Yeah. You know more than me.

No, Stanford's come a long way. I just remember when John used to have to go take a train to Stanford and he was fucking miserable. Yeah. That was probably just a commute as much as it was the town. I don't think you love that gig necessarily. Yeah, it's probably a gig too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a combo of everything.

That was DJing in Minneapolis. That was like, hey man. Dude, it's cold. It's a nice paycheck. It's nice. Cold in here? Yeah. Got the temperature down.

Yeah. I only took, what, three days? You ever see? Yeah, he bitches like an 80-year-old man about the air. It's crazy. Well, you know. That system really is bullshit. That nest is, I don't know what's going on with it.

It doesn't give a fuck what's happening. My H-FAC is the best I've ever had in any home I've ever lived in. Your current place? Yes. It's unbelievable. Just turns it into an ice box super fast. Immediate. Yeah.

Or the heat. Whatever you want, change it. Yeah. Auto fan on. It controls the temperature. wacky system. I don't know, I don't know which vents it's coming out of. Some rooms are colder than others.

This one gets a good bit of, let's get some good weather in here. I don't think this guy's ever going to sell this house. I think he wants to. I just don't think he's going to get what he wants. I think now, yeah, now that everything's... Locational and everything is going up through the fucking roof. It's impossible to get a fucking house that's like what you consider worth $600,000. I know.

And then you take all the schools in the school systems into consideration. Yeah. that's why all these fucking high schools are getting they have like college campuses all of them yeah their baseball fields are like college level dude that's where all these all these people man and finally this episode is brought to you by you know what you love it's square space our favorite square space the number one uh best way to build a website i'm doing it right now yeah yeah it's incredible yeah they got all kinds of features you know you get they got great SEO stuff they got all kinds of different ways you can have like a whole store on your website.

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There you go. All right. Now back to the episode. All these people that like, every one of these like incredible towns that you go to, you go to Charleston, they're like, oh yeah, no, we bought here like 20 years ago and it was $8. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's worth $5 million. Yeah. And you're like, yeah. What the heck? Dude. And I'm fucked. Yeah. I'm fucked. Yeah. I'm fucked with the kids. You start going, man, if I didn't do comedy for 20 years. Yeah. If I just bought a house. I think I'm on 16 right now. 10 with the layover Yeah

But in the business I think more of the thing is like you know it's crazy It's like if instead of going to college Yeah I just took that money Yeah And bought a piece of property Yeah

Yeah but I didn't You didn't have that money But you're taking out a loan Anyway Yeah but you're not because they're gonna give me 400,000 when your parents make fucking 80 combined I look at my For college

My dad is my brother These houses were like they were fucking they were $100,000 in, in 2003. Yeah. You could probably get a, you get a sick place in Charleston. My brother was doing my dad's taxes, my parents' taxes. And he's like, he's looking, he had like a look back. Yeah.

For like what their income was during all the years we were born. And he was like, literally had sit down. He was like, why would you ever have three children? Yeah, yeah. You didn't have enough for one. Like, you just did it. the fuck were you doing? You know?

Old days when you got a farm, you got a bean farm. You got to pump that bitch full. Yeah. So you have kids to work. Yeah, yeah. Three kids in a fucking... No, but dude, you could have bought a piece of hump of junk in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Yeah, right.

But who has that for a sign? And paid a mortgage that was like 300 bucks. You can't see that. You're not a fucking prospect. No, I know, but who would have, you know? I mean, even East Village in like the late 9th. Andy's early aughts was disgusting and dangerous as far. Of course, yeah.

Now you couldn't find a piece of property under $3, $4 million. Yeah, but if you just sat on that and then just sold it. I want to start like a car wash. That's what I want to get into. A car wash? Yeah, I'm going to start a car wash. Dude, you'd go nuts at a car wash. I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't be there.

It's going to buy a brand new one. Yeah, yeah, and just have people run it. Yeah, call it bean factory and get a fuel. You get some coffee going. It's a little coffee while you wait. I think it's considered one of the best franchises are companies to own because it's like... When you see a car washing a good spot,

that one in downtown Westchester is just printing money, dude. It's just... Backed up line on the street. Yeah. And just, yeah. They are... I mean, they probably have three other locations because of the money that one's pulling in. I mean, yeah, that's got to be...

That's one of those ones where you're just like, if they're not, if they're not multi-millionaires, it's because they're doing like Coke and hookers or something. Yeah. It's going to be like, there'll be like a 30 for 30. On a car watch company? Yeah, yeah. It's athletic washing the cars. Yeah.

I don't know. They get real shoddy. I got a monthly membership to the one down the street from me. Yeah. They get real shoddy with the wet towels at the end. And they smear. Yeah. And they smear haphazardly.

And it's like, because they only got one guy there. And he's whipping her. around a little bit. I feel bad for him. Dude, you know what? He's got a shell of a skeleton because he's sweating

his dick off all day long. Yeah. He's one eye's wonky as fuck and I'm like, I can't bust this guy's balls. Give him a few bucks and then move on. Drive fast.

The best car wash I ever saw was in Burlington, Vermont. It must be good if you remember a car wash. Dude, it was like, I showed up to this place and I was like, that's how you do it.

Yeah. Did they hang you a beer or something? No, no. They had, they had four different tunnels. Yeah. Two on the no touch.

Yeah. No touch wash. Have you ever even heard of it? Yeah. And then. You mean they just go through the blow station where you don't have to touch? A human doesn't touch you. They hose it down, but nothing makes contact with the car.

Oh. I've never been to that. No touch wash. And they just don't want it scratched? Yeah, yeah. Because you go to the wash too many times. A lot of like heavy washers know this. Yeah.

The heavy washers know that you can get some swirl in the paint. Yeah. You get like some scuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? So a lot of people like that those big rubber bands are fucking. They're drying out and hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Crispy. Up there, dude, they also, it was negative 15 degrees when we went through it. Yeah. They have like the two doors that come down and close you into it, wash you up, get it nice and hot and clean, dry it. And then door opens you. See, this guy started with money to, to open up something like that. That's like, yeah. It's also like the roads that there's so much salt that they're on the. roads up there, you're going there three, four times a week.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, dude, if you drive on those roads, there's so much salt's getting kicked up. They also got the underbelly wash. Yeah. That's more important. Yeah, so get all the salt out of the machinery. I had no idea of this passion about car wash. Dude, when you see it done right.

Yeah. You never forget it. You tell your friends years later. Yeah, 100%. It's like, now every car wash I see, I go, I guess. but it's not Burlington do you know the name they always have silly

it's like scrub buddies but yeah yeah but man this place it was one of those things too where you showed up and there was a huge line but they were moving you know

and you go wow yes they're pumping these guys out it's Burlington Vermont yeah it's got to have a high rating it's got to be 4-9 it's got to be

4-9 at least car wash Seaway car wash that's only got a 4-3 Champ car car car senator it's just south of town we might be talking about seaway

what's the best car wash around this is on Reddit specifically one that cleans the undercarriage things hold on this might be you Are you, it's Pete, P-Tar? As someone who assesses a bit too much about getting the salt off their car, Seaway on Shelbourne Road is the best one.

And I think that might be it. And only use the touchless ones. Yeah. Never go into the ones. Never go to the one that pull you through all the brushes. They only scratch your car. This is you. Only scratch your car and accelerate failure of your clear coat.

All right. Yeah, dude. Shout on Seaway, dude. Yeah, Seaway. Let's see what company Dude And to handle a water-based business In like super cold temperatures like that

Incredible You know Because if you get a lot of water leaking out there You're slipping and sliding all over the place Hold on I want you guys But the water containment too I'm looking up some images I want to make sure this is the guy

This doesn't look as take a look at these photos see if car this is a good thing back car washes and food places they got to really change their pictures yeah it's seaway this is it

that's it yeah dude this thing well these are these are client uploads it's not it's not the company I know I know I know but still you gotta upload your own photos then you got to manage it

yeah yeah SEO yeah yeah shout it Squarespace yeah shout it Squarespace Dude, like this first, the main photos just bubbles on the window. I mean, that's crazy. Oh, it's kind of art, though.

But Seaway, man, look, and it doesn't look like much, does it? I took my puppy through the car wash for the first time. She just shook the whole time. Yeah. Thunder, she shakes for 30 minutes. She's such a pussy. Thunder is, I'm surprised they're so scared of it. I know.

Well, they've been bred out of that. They're not like their fucking house pets. Not running through the fucking... Running through the forest or hunting. Yeah, but in the rain. I wonder if there's other birds in nature. They get freaked out about the thunder. No.

No fucking way. No. Birds, squirrels. They probably get... I mean, can you go underground? The rain might be too much. You could drown. What?

The squirrels go inside the trees. But what about like a chipmunk? Under rocks. those things are fast as fuck yeah chipmunks are fucking awesome they are awesome yeah it's such a good looking animal yeah it is the stripe it gets me

the racing stripe racing striper is so sad and the color of their coat yeah yeah it's like a Rhodesian ridgeback it's beautiful I do it I stare at a ridgeback unhealthily amount at the fucking dog park yeah they're gorgeous yeah they're bred to kill lions or lion hunters

really yeah they're bad motherfucking dog ton of them to take down a lion or chase it off i don't know if you could kill it but that's what they say they're lying hunters yeah you got to love dogs because they you know they wear they can wear a guy down yeah yeah well that's why you go to the park dude the park too many she has unlimited energy if you don't let her run with the boys yeah she's at she's at your fucking she's at your heels all day long yeah you got just want to fight yeah it's tough because you got worry that like you're both gas on them out and building up their endurance.

True. You know? And they're getting muscular too. She's got she's jacked. Yeah. From sprinting around all the time. Yeah. Her back legs are fucking ripped.

Is she getting along with the other dogs? Oh yeah. Yeah. It's every now and then somebody will like try and bully her and then she goes fucking nuts, which I get real proud of. Yeah. Mara gets really scared. And she's like, can you go out?

I'm like, let it be. Yeah. This is how they, they learn their, you know. The pecking order. The pecking order. Yeah. Yeah. you got to have them,

you know, some dogs just don't know how to play, dude. Yeah. Some dogs just don't know how to do it. Yeah. One in every litter is just retarded, you know, like a docile way.

Yeah, yeah. I like that. I like super chill. Well, my dad used to, like, he was a dog whisper. The first dog I ever got was Avichla.

And he, I took him to Delaware to take the pick of, like, the litter. Because he was very good at seeing the temperament. He's like, you don't want the one

that comes up to you right away that's aggressive. You don't want one that's always fighting with the other ones. You just got to, sit and watch. You don't want the one that's too docile. Right in the middle. Yeah, yeah. They're just part of the pack. They're happy to be there.

I know. They're listening to the dickhead, but they're also not laying down with the fucking retard. That is the one thing that I like, I don't, you know, I don't know how it actually would play out in practice. You know what I mean? Obviously, it must have been a problem because they put a stop to it. But I like, like, I think they should just let dogs roam around. Well, there's certain islands that you could move to where that's where that's what happens. I know. I know. My brother said in Greece they had just packs. Yeah. It's just a motley crew of dogs.

Yeah. You know? Because they're all like domesticated dogs, but they formed their own pack. Yeah, there's an island in like, was that Australia or like, uh, just street dogs? This is one guy, it's a whole stray dog island. Yeah. Like a thousand dogs. And this one guy has to show up every like other day and just drop food.

Oh, for the dogs. They can't find anything. So it's cool. the idea is cool but then you know the fucking sun falls down everyone's raping each other they're making more and it's like well who's gonna feed you you're gonna start killing each other and then hey you're all gonna die slowly but i feel like stray cats are like a kind of a thing yeah i think they're they know how to get in like dumpsters and eat like fucking yeah they know how to stay out of i think their stomachs are they're more durable too yeah because my dog is

like a cent she's like fucking lactose intolerant I guess all dogs are lactose and tolerance. Not really. They can have those pup cups which is like whipped cream and shit. She can't have anything that's close to that. Yeah. Shit her brains out. Yeah.

My fucking nice rug. Wet. Yeah. Got soaked. And she loved it. Like she doesn't know to go, I can't eat that like my girl. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. She wants it. It's a big sugar pile. She's like, I fucking love this. And then she puts a sugar pile on my fucking nice rug. And it came out like a swirl, ironically, too. It was a mess. It's crazy the dogs have no idea what not to eat.

Yeah. I have the, dude, I say the same thing. No idea. No idea. We'll walk down an alley and she'll just start chewing on something. And I was like, I swear I got it was a bird's head. Yeah. I think it was a dead bird.

And I turn around like, I'm trying to get something out of her fucking mouth. Mouth. And I just hear a crunch. Oh, God. And I'm like, and I look around that I just see like an old carcass of a smash bird. And I'm like, fuck. It's because they don't have hands. It's because they don't have hands.

They have no other way of investigating a thing. The smet, their nose is so much better. And then she threw up for four hours straight. She just kept throwing out. And then would still just go back out and eat it bread again. Yeah. They're fucking dumb. They're like three-year-old kids.

No connection. Yeah. Yeah. Cause and effect. We've been all over the place this episode. Yeah, yeah, it's a good one. I'd like the car wash the whole fucking thing. With touch.

You need a touchless. You just touch it? Yeah. I did go through a seaway. I did go through the touch one because I think I just needed a touch. Yeah. Dude, I would never go touchless. You're getting robbed.

I did touchless once. It was actually, it wasn't bad, but. It's not that clean. Yeah. That's like you taking a shower and you don't put soap on your legs. I know. You think you're doing a touchless shower. Yeah.

You're just letting the soap on the arms. I've gotten down to the knee now. I'm still, I still don't do the shins. Well, that's like the dirtiest part. Now, do you wear long? You don't wear long socks or, whether it's short ones. Yeah, yeah.

There's dirt all over that. No, I got, I got pants on. It said he's dirty. City's dirty, but there's so many suds going down that way. Yeah, but it's still, you got to get the grind off. I'm sudded up. Look at what you, okay, cook with your pants. You can't just go a little soap in there and go like this.

You got to get touch in there. I know, I do. I scrub everything. You know What's going on with your butthole You get in there? Oh, I'm getting in there All right

So, well, like, treat your butt hole Like the way, You treat your ankles The way you do your butthole. No way, dude. Buttholes priority Number one Nothing's getting as much attention

As the butthole Ring around the pecker Gets his same attention for me That's true. That's true. The bag Yeah, bag's fine. Bag's normal.

That's like an elbow. No, I get the bag. I got the bag going. Heavy on the bag. You're speeding it. Heavy. Heavy on the bag. Yeah, that whole area.

That's priority. Josh doesn't what you soap either. You don't wash your legs, obviously. No. Yeah, I wash my legs. No, you don't. No, you don't. You wash it between your toes?

Yeah. Oh, you see that pause? I had to think. You had to think? I had to think, because sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Okay.

I'm okay with that. It depends on if I'm splurgeon. Yeah. Wash him between your toes. Yeah, I knew this would flip his fucking wig. I mean, it's hard. No, it's hard. Yeah, that's painful.

Put your fingers in between your toes. Yeah, it feels good. It feels better. Yeah. You'll get stuff out. It's like a belly button. You know, like I didn't even know. Do you have a bench in your shower or you bending over for this?

You put your foot up on the lid? Yeah, I get the shampoo ledge. It's course. Yeah, I take an athletic stance. You get a bend in the knee. Yeah. I got nowhere I can do that. I have to go like this.

And then this is in the shower. This is. You don't have a place you could put your toes? Not really. I'd have to go against a wall. No, it's just like, it's just a, you know, it's one of those showers. It's just, like, there's no tub. There's no, there's no ridge.

Okay, it's just a straight walk-in shower. Yeah. Without any ledges? There's no ledges. Where do you put your shampoos? There's, there's like a high window ledge. And then there's another ledge that's not really in the shower. It'd be too far.

You know, I'd be getting foot stuff all over it. Rinsing that would be. That would be its own. I have to give that a bath. Yeah. Yeah. You'd have to get on your back and put your toes in the air like a baby getting changed. To do that, yeah.

That would be nuts. And I have a lot of toe problems. You know what I mean? I'm not getting funky toes. Well, you don't know that. I do. I do. Yeah, yeah.

Nice feet. Yeah, I'm doing all right. My feet are okay. You really scrub between your toe every time? Not every time. No, I do like once every three. Yeah. You know what I?

No, no, no. I don't. Yeah, it's not. No, dude. Say it, pig. Yeah. I had to, my lady had to talk with me about how I have to make sure I clip my toenails. Oh, yeah, that's disgusting.

That's why I didn't want to say it. But I didn't realize that I wasn't, I wasn't clipping my toenails. It'd be like, once every, like, three weeks I'd look down and I'd just have, like, a fucking. Oh, my God. Did I have a straggis. Is her legs all cut up at night? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I got, yeah. What about your socks? Don't rip on the way down? No. Oh, I get towns, dude. I got to get rid of them every, like, fifth day.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've been doing it. It's part of my regimen. What do you do with your fingernails? You bite them like a pig? No, I clip. You clip them. She does nail.

She does nail. That's a, that's the thing. That's like a major thing in my life. No, that's your huge dig. What? When we watch movies, you just, you're gnawing the whole time. I know. It's disgusting.

And I, it's a, that's like, that's like one of those things that's like, you know you need. That's up on the vision board. Yeah. That's got to stop, dude. You don't really start changing your life. that's got to stop. Just wear

the dishwash gloves. Yeah, yeah. Put on some blue rubbers. I'm sweating those things like crazy. It's disgusting. I'm not saying go outside. I'm saying like if you're watching like a movie where you usually get anxious.

Dude. I don't think you love. Let me tell you something. If you come over and I got dishwash gloves watching TV. I'm so proud of you. We're moving in the wrong direction. I mean, at least is trying.

That's, yeah. At least you seize the vision board every now. That's time you call a doctor. And you say, Chris has lost it. Chris has lost it. Look at what I'm, you take a picture of that. Man,

would you do an internship at Seaway over the summer? I do it in the winter. I want to see you. The winter, man, is so impressive. It's so cold up there. Would you live in Vermont? Yeah.

I knew you would. Yeah. But I think it would. I think it would. take its toll on me. Those, because the days up there are three hours. Yeah. It's like, the seasonal depression would

yeah, absolutely destroy. Yeah. We're talking, uh, we're talking beers in the attic type of mentality. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That or you'd have to get deep into like, you'd have to be, I'd have to become an outdoor boy. Yeah. You know, I'd be like, yeah, I'd have to be making my own bread over

fire and shit like that. I'd have to like, it's the only way to survive that has to be like, just become like a wilderness person. Yeah. So that you're just out there. Just a manly Martha Stewart. Yeah, yeah.

Because if you're just, you know, if you're having a couple beers and just having trying to have a normal life in that. Now, you got to be a woodworker. Yeah. Some type of steel. Yeah. You're sharpening blades all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Doing weird shit. But that's actually one of my dreams. Just making knives. Yeah. Smith. Yeah. Smith, dude. Ding!

Ding! I think it's cool as hell. It's so awesome. Folding metal? Yeah. Yeah. Toss it in the kiln. Smash it for a bit.

Yeah. I haven't, you know what? I'm surprised. I'm a little surprised at my... I haven't seen a lot of knife-making stuff recently. And then a lot of swords. They only have that...

I usually... I had a good sword thing going for a while. So did I. And also the knife show. It can kill. Yeah. It can kill. It can kill.

Yes. I love that show. Yeah, that show is great. And under pressure, they have to make a knife in like fucking two hours. Or they'll get, they'll get wacky shit thrown out. They've got to make.

like an axe. Yeah. Well, that's the last two guys. Yeah. Yeah. Where it makes it to the final two. They get something. Yeah.

And all these guys are just the like backyard welding thing. Yeah. It's so funny. I like when they go to their house and they're just a regular dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's an above ground pool and like a dirty couch.

These guys just got like a fucking kiln in his garage. Yeah. Yeah. He's got like the backyard that's as big as this room. And most of it is like a little pop-up. Like it's literally like one of those like medical. tents on an NFL side line. And he's got like a forge in there.

It's crazy. A forge. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. Dude, I just saw it. Have you seen that time? Have you seen the video of the dude in front of like a best western in a bathrobe?

It's sprinting at cops with a katana. No. Did he get smoked? Let's go. They asked him what he's doing and he goes, practicing my katana, like my combative skills with the katana. And then they went, well, you should probably just go back inside. and then he did

he like draped it around he drapes the robe in front of him and then like full night in shining armor charges at him and they just smoke it wow guns blazing yeah it's just suicide by cop

he wanted to die for sure but I mean it's so funny to be like oh fucking plagued some of my catana yeah yeah yeah yeah let's just say that's gonna end

pretty poll before you you gotta be able to shoot a big net at that guy right? Yeah, you think. Can't you be able to change shooting that guy, wrap him up? Have you seen those videos of how fast somebody with like a knife can get to you though? Yeah, if you miss a bullet.

You can get from like, you can get like eight feet in like a second or something like that. There's like a 24. I think it's like 21 foot rule. Yeah, yeah. That if somebody gets within 21 feet of you, you can use lethal force if they have like an object because you can be like that and there. Well, that's why all those moms are like, just hit them in the knee. It's like, well, that guy's running fast and you're shitting yourself going backwards. You have to aim for the big square.

Also, this guy, take them out. What are you netting this dude for? Now he's going to go down a fucking holiday in and start practicing at times. That guy's a lost cause. What are we going to rehab this guy? Yeah, exactly. He's long gone. Yeah, put him on waivers.

Yeah, save the taxpayers money. Put them all waivers. Send a letter to the owner. He's on the PUP. You got to pup that guy. All right. I'm going to be in Salt Lake City this weekend. Come check it out.

come to Salt Lake City and then Portland or no Baltimore Maryland after that come see me do shows Go to Patreon.com slash stuff island Yeah Patreon.com slash stuff island look at this

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