Stuff Island - Stars & Stripes - Stuff Island #194

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Shop Skims Men at Skims.com - let them know we sent you by selecting podcast in the survey and select Stuff Island in the drop down menu! SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom, how are you? You're you're under the weather today. That's you said that. I know. I know. I know. I was hilarious. You didn't come at me at all the first 20 minutes. Now I'm just exhausted. Just tired. Yeah. Tired of having a fucking blast. Yeah. Yeah. You got the beach tan. Yeah, I got fucking another pull injury chains Yeah, we got blacked out on the jet coming home Sunday and they're like, let's have a pool party Yeah, and I got I got his fucking wife watching my dog at the house I can't be here long. I can't be here long. I Just fell on the concrete

I can't be here at all. I just fell on the concrete, raked myself. I'm trying to say hi to your girl. I'm like, thanks so much for everything. And I just like passed out on the couch. My dog is still confused as to what the fuck is happening. Because just the body got dropped off. Dude, it was. And my girl was she was still in New York. So it was a oh, man.

It was a it was a fucking crash landing. I lost an engine that day. Yeah, yeah. That plane ride will get you every time. And then once you land, it's like, you can't stop. No. Once you pop, you can't stop. Yeah, once you pop, you can't stop.

You can't stop and keep it going. Yeah, so all yesterday was just the hells of anxiety. And you know, just fist fighting demons. And then today, today it's all hitting me. Yeah, so all yesterday was just the the the hells of anxiety and oh, yeah Just fist fighting demons and then today today. It's all hitting me. You know, I'm just exhausted I'm wearing a fucking landscaping outfit because I thought we're gonna film it like two hours from now, so I was already out apologize about this What were you out doing huh? Doing some errands

What were you out doing huh? Doing some errands She's just staring at the Sun Throwing rocks into a fucking yard, you know, just trying not to hang myself fridge. No, it was great. We did Philly No, I did Ocean City, New Jersey my family yeah my brother and his kids That was a fucking blast. How many days did you get on the beach to it's all we needed. Yeah. Yeah, not stop Yeah fucking straight lab or do sundown. Yeah, I was I was ball chasing on the beach They go right the water ball chasing beat the fuck out of my nephew. How's the shore looking beautiful little dark? Oh, yeah It's getting a little dark late summer late summer

Oh, yeah. It's getting a little dark. Late summer, late summer. Well, good for them. They're moving in. They're getting some beach time. They get beach time. You got to have someone to throw the ball to. You know what I mean? You got to make it even three on three.

Yeah. Now, it was awesome. Yeah. Ocean City's, you know, just say it's dry town. It's all families that you bring. You bring everything. awesome. Yeah, Ocean City's, you know, just say it's Dry Town. It's all families you bring you bring everything. Yeah, yeah. You move this Ho Chi Minh trail. Grenades. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we lost a lot of armaments.

Been moving in over the bridge. We lost a niece carrying in the armaments. Yeah, we got fucking blitzed. It was great. That's fantastic. And then went to Philly, hung out with my parents for a little bit and she fucked off to New York and then I went on the road with Shane. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Okay. See in Kansas City. Shout out to fans there. They were fucking great. Yeah, dude. I got the shittiest fucking towns in a good way. Yeah. Yeah. I got boost bank towns. I got Pittsburgh, Cincy, Albany, Buffalo, OKC in Kansas City. Perfect. Why? It's a dream. Yeah. That's a dark league right there. It's a dark league tour. I like Kansas City. They've got to be

getting ready for the world cup. Yeah. Oh really? They're a host town. No shit. Kansas. It was a big victory for Kansas City. They're going nuts. I thought Philly has one too, right? Philly has one too. It's all around. I think LA Philly Chicago Mexico York I think there is some in Mexico and there's some in Canada yeah it's all North America I think so yeah that's fucking awesome yeah it's gonna be good that's gonna be a fun ass time all right we got to get the one what we got to get to Philly it's at the Union Philadelphia Union no I know it's gonna be the link going to be at the link. Oh, why? Just capacity. Yeah. Yeah. It's woke up. They don't want to put them in Chester. Yeah.

Yeah. They can't send the world to Chester. They're not ready. Jesus. The European mind cannot understand. All the boys in Chester like send them in. Wallet time. Just send. Yeah. The whole world to under a bridge. Just a bunch of sweet fucking Belgians getting face-fucked in Chester by the locals. Holy Christ. Be like falling into the cage. The stadium is beautiful, but everything around it is.

Hell. That's typical of most stadiums. You put it in the shittiest areas like Chinatown or something. Jesus Christ, I came out hot. I'm fine. It's just, you know, wear and tear. Yeah, yeah. You come home, you realize how much you have to do

because we were gone for 10 days, 12 days. Everyone's going to bitch at you online. They don't have enough for their fucking shit. And you're so fucked up from that day of drinking that you're like your whole life, you're like, I can't do it anymore. Yeah. I can't do any of it. Yeah yeah it takes 72 hours to realize you're fine

I have no thoughts I'm a bad person I yeah I should kill myself it's like truly doing an eight ball to yourself yeah it's like fucking yeah elevation drunk 30,000 feet in the air getting blacked out hits you different I don't know what it is dude it's yeah cuz you think you're never gonna land you act like you're never gonna land. It's so true It's one of those things I like I do it on commercial flights, too Yeah, we're all like I'll throw back a couple whiskeys thinking that like some for some reason when I land I won't be like Yeah, embarrassingly drunk. Yeah, and I always yeah, but private feels like a resort. I you know what I mean? Yeah Yeah, you just you're you're walking around fucking dancing. Well cuz you got your own speaker blast and you're playing cards. Yes unlimited fucking booze

Personal assistant make just fill in your drinks every 10 minutes. You've got no one judging you You know that the fucking FAA isn't gonna like a rest. Right? I can have anything in my fucking bag Yeah, they could bring a stretcher in here and just carry me off if need be I'm not gonna get in any trouble To this day do this day one time I want I want Shane to just go just keep flying yes, dude Pick a different country. It's probably yeah, I wanted him to trick us. It's probably like a million dollars a minute to do that. Oh 100%. But I heard Gruden talk about that once where like they won a game and it's like the flight back fucking rules, you know, but as soon as you land, you got to go back to meetings,

real life, start the preparation for the next week. So it was just like, you know, they're going back to Vegas or wherever. And he was just like, you know, they're going back to Vegas or wherever and he was just like swing it up to Seattle and hook around Let's get a couple hours He was probably thinking about his girl coming home to his girl. He's probably you know, let's fucking do it I'm not going home to Alicia dude. She's fucking annoying to get back to Seattle What do you boys think about Paraguay? It would be. Yeah, that's the kind of fuck you money I'd like to see. Is I don't even tell you guys, you know, we go somewhere

and you think we're just taking the standard route home. Yeah. And then it's just like, where are we? Zigzag. Why are we still in the ocean? Don't you worry about it. Lay over in Spain, you know what I mean? That's how you want to live.

It'd be a dream. Oh, I can't imagine. imagine just ruin everybody's relationships whatever fucking shit you have to do. It's not up to you anymore Yeah, you're on my fucking watch. Yeah I'm going wherever that would yeah, if I had that kind of money, I would be a monster. Yeah. Yeah My drunk purchases are bad enough if I could do it like. Let's talk about that. If I could fly places. You missed it. Oh yeah. I walked into an 85 inch television. 85 dude.

Look at the size of the TV he has in there already. What's that 70? 72? But that TV's broken. The wifi card's broken so you can't connect to anything. Yeah. So, and I was like whatever, I'll fucking doesn't matter. I mean how drunk are we talking by me five inch TV? Yeah, yeah, I was pretty fucked up. Yeah, I got hammered

Did he get here today, and it's already getting picked up no I got here like last week And I was like I can't believe I did this what the fuck is wrong with me say he's like yeah I can't believe it either yeah I tried to cancel it the next day, and Amazon was like, can't. Yep. And then so they just showed up with it, and I was like, yeah. This ain't toilet paper, pal.

This one's on you. Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ain't that easy. Dude.

Ain't Q-tips. You made a mistake. So we had to get a guy to come pick it up. It's gone. And then we dropped it like three times, like in the house. Dude, you did smoke it on the concrete. I'm like, well, it's coming back. Yeah. It's gone and I would dropped it like three times Yeah I'm just gonna be like you can't return a broken TV. It's also not opened at all. So yeah

Yeah, you can't be like you can't prove. Yeah, it didn't show up like that. Yeah, I Don't yeah, I gotta stop doing that. But if I was if I had big-time money, I would be like, oh no Yeah in Spain. Yeah, sorry babe. Oh, no. Yeah pilot fucked up It'd be so many piloters She'd like again just blacking out blacking out and convincing a pilot to go to Japan. Yeah, and there's no door It's just all over go. Hey Jeremy what do you see me go to Japan? And do the boys and all the fucking the pilot and the stewardess

They were all at their show the night before. Oh really? Yeah, that's sick, and they were fucking jazzed They were so fucking pumped up so we could have we could have went anywhere It is funny to think that they got fucked up at the show and then get a nice I said how much you drink? How do you feel? Look at me. And he's fucking huge. He was like 6'8". So the whole time he's like I had a great time with the show. He's like bent over so he can't. Dude he's gotta be like this. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah there's gotta be a height limit for pilots right? Yeah do they breathalyze pilots? I don't know. Kareem al-Dujabar flew a plane on airplane.

He's what, seven two? Yeah, he's, I saw a real fat white guy doing a hook shot and just crushing it. Really? Yeah, yeah, at like the Y. Where, in Atlanta? No, no, it was just YMCA, you know what I mean? Here?

No, no, no, it was just a video of it. Oh, what are you doing with the Y? And it was just like, dude, just fucking, just burying it, dominating. And it was like my height. Over somebody? Yeah. Like, you know, he had like a taller defender in his face, but he just, he could like hook it from like down here. Yeah.

And it just raindrops every time. That's always been a sad look to me outside of like NBA players. Like someone actually works on a hook shot. Do you know what I mean? The footage until you get good. I don't know, you watch this guy doing it and you start going, maybe I could get back out there. If I just put enough time into mastering the hook shot.

Well I imagine back then it was impossible to defend. Because there wasn't too many backdoor, like now they're on you like wasps. So you can't like take your eye off the ball because they're so fast but back then it was like fucking koozie and and you were just a giant black dude that be like you can't you can't stop this and even if you could you just go you can't you don't know where the balls coming from I don't know man I think it's gonna come at some point it's gonna come back you get you and your long basketball shorts and the

fucking hook shot you're gonna have guys with shorts below their knees, hook shot and stuff. It's gonna be driving you nuts. Dude, every black dude would have to die by accident. For this shit to work. There's gotta, it's cause it's not defendable. The whole world of black guys would have to fall. It's not defendable. Yeah, no, I get it.

Except for the actual defense of getting it. You got to double a guy, but then even that you're opening up, you know, okay, now you're sliding. There's a man open. Yeah, there's a reason why it only exists at the Y because fucking true professionals are swiping that before you get it to here. I think it's just a forgotten art. Yeah, I think it's the same way that people started just draining threes. I think the hook shot is going to come back and people are gonna go like, the NBA sucks now. We're doing a hook shot.

How often do you see like, Yoko Church, you know? You do see it once in a while and it usually hits, but it's not that often. It's, no can defend. It used to be a guy's only fucking move. That's all he shot. I think it was like, just Kareem. Luau Cinder, I think.

And then maybe like, we had Will Chamberlain maybe too, but it like. Damn, Luau Cinder, where'd that come from? That's a good one. That's like just Kareem. Lu Alcindor. I think it was like Will Chamberlain maybe too, but like... Damn, Lu Alcindor. Where'd that come from? That's a good one. That's like one of my dad's favorite players. It's crazy. Same. How was ATL? Crowds were good? Or was that Kareem's name before he was Kareem? Yeah, was it? Yeah, before he went Muslim. It was Lu Alcindor. It was Lu Alcindor. It was Lou Alcindor.

Yeah. Then he got all Muhammad Ali on us. Yeah. Cassius and Lou were my guys. Then they fucking turned. Cassius Clay. I was reading about Cassius Clay and how badly he got fucked because he didn't want to go to Vietnam. Yeah.

I've been watching the Vietnam documentary. It's really, really not good. Yeah. Looking back after. Looking back. really not good. Yeah looking back after I mean look at the time when we died you were fucking coward. You were real fucking coward Yeah, you know all those hippies going i'm not going i'll take a year in prison and you're like Well, what was the whole fucking thing for you made the right decision? 100 they were dying at a rate of like 30 seconds dropped in a fucking jungle

18 year old kids the average like lifespan of getting dropped in the middle was like 30 seconds Can you just get fucking cooked immediately sushi get dropped? It's like that's it. Yeah, I'm not going there's some wild quotes In that documentary. Yeah, there's some wild quotes Maybe maybe you have to cut this out, but why but it's in the fucking tell me burns put it on TV Yeah, KB could say what this guy this guy he goes It was just like is his first like I guess sort T or whatever. It was his first just venture into the jungle. Mm-hmm it was like a firefight and

He was like he shot he shot a guy and he was like He was like, he shot a guy and he was like, he was like, I killed a Vietnamese guy and it was the worst I've ever felt, the guilt. It made me so sad. And that was the only Vietnamese soldier that I killed while I was over there, you know? But after that, I made a promise to myself that I would smoke every.

I would waste every. He was going like, dude, he starts going like. And then he does end it, he does end it by going. Let's beat those out, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in the documentary, but then he does end it it does end it like those out yeah It's in the kids in the documentary, but then he goes but that is that's how you do it She got silly way to survive turn a subject into an object and racism is very powerful tool man Yeah, get you through that shit. Yeah, it's like it's crazy You feel like for one minute the next minute you're wearing a fucking dude rosary of their ears

For real for real he had another one too where he was like he was like I want to be clear I want to be clear I never once Tortured or maimed like a prisoner of war he's like but To be a POW you had to make it to the rear. And God help you if you fell into our hands. Jesus Christ. Holy shit, dude. Holy shit.

Man, meanwhile you're like, I'm just trying to have a Miller Light in this VFW. I'm here with the softball team, Marty. I don't care for this right now. Dude. God damn. Yeah, I mean that's a, that seems to be a commonality with like any war, it's like the first one. You just, you get used to it. Dude. And then you lose the humanity. Yeah. Oh, that was, there's that, uh.

Scene in Platoon. How do you kill women and children? He's like you just lead them little less man Full metal jacket. Full metal jacket. Yeah easy and he's like Throwing up you kill women and children. Yeah. Yeah How do you kill women and children? easy Just don't lead them so much Children easy. Yeah, just don't lead him so

Holy yes, dude, and he said that they're two reporters Two reporters with stars and stripes. It's like alright. You see their little patty hats falling Holy fuck dude Yeah, the documentary is fucked. I'm getting fired off. I gotta be honest. Guys, there's another one. Pullupmilitary.com. Guys on the phone with his mom and he's like, he's like, look, mom, I'm not coming back. Like everyone in my platoon is dead.

Like fucking she's like, no, no, no, No, I talked to God every night and you're special and he just goes mom Every he goes every mom thinks their kids special. Yeah, I'm putting pieces of special guys in bags every day Oh My god, man, that's why we do comedy. Yeah, you know how Lyndon Johnson's like hey, we're out doing over there We yeah, they're all lying everybody and he's like Every advisors like that's going good. Yeah, it's going good. We won this by this battle won this battle We only lost ten thousand. It's like fucking put six zeros on that

Everybody's dead We can't even find the guys were fighting because there's a mile underneath the ground. Yeah, you ever see that How intricate the cave system was? Oh, yeah, dude. It's like fucking termites Yeah, also they were the shit out for years like decades. Yeah And everyone was involved. They had the whole they held the whole gang was just building tunnels and fucking yeah repairing roads They were talking about they just blow the shit out of a road and the next morning. It'd be fixed. Yeah, just cuz Every woman and child was like working on the roads. Yeah, it's crazy Now they're all ladyboys being soft

Yeah, that was like part of what they did too. They dressed up as ladyboys to like hide Yeah, so they you know to infiltrate Saigon and stuff. Yeah, very smart. The guy was like, we're dressing like chicks. Yeah. And you kept that tradition. You kept that tradition going. Somehow that stuck. With your sons. Yeah, yeah. Second generation. It's a quiet war memorial. Yeah. I wouldn't say quiet. Second generation. It's a quiet war Memorial. Yeah It's a quiet

Lot of times is burning It's an STD joke Chlamydia if you will How was Atlanta Atlanta was great. We weren't in Atlanta. We're like an hour outside Atlanta So thank you everyone who came to the shows it is it is far away I thought it was in Atlanta too And then someone like when I posted about it someone like, yo man, it's not in Atlanta. I was like, all right dude.

Yeah, also calm the fuck down. It's gonna be 10 minutes outside the city. Jesus Christ. And it was, no, it was fully, like if Atlanta was New York, we would have been in Maine. Really? It's middle of nowhere? It was far.

It's not that far, but it was a good, it was a solid like 40 minutes. Was this a new club that they, or they buy one? It's the newest Helium. The club is actually awesome. Really? The club is great, yeah. Does it look like the rest of them?

It does, but it's like, it's bigger, but it doesn't feel bigger. It does feel like, it has the same kind of structure where it's like that, that has that like lower bowl. Yeah. And it's like, if that's- Like a Caroline's type thing? No, like the Hel helium in Philly.

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It's it is kind of nice when a legacy brand like Skim steps into the man-underwear world, you know. You know they're not gonna screw it around. Yeah. Because you know that like everyone's gonna be like, fucking Skim's that's for chicks, I'm not gonna buy that. Right. But it's like that's why they had to, they wouldn't release them if they weren't the best underwear on the market. And I will be honest, it's almost like a silk, it's like a silk robe for your nookies. For your balls? Yeah. And your hog. My hog. My hog. Everybody's comfortable down there, man. Yeah, fuck yeah. The skimmies are doing it. There you go. And now back to the episode. Bye. It's like sectioned like that. So it is kind of that thing the way Philly and Helium was

where it's like if that lower bowl's full, it's like fun. It's good, yeah. But yeah, shows were great. Yeah, it was nice. It was nice to fucking, yeah, you know, learn it to put an hour together. Yeah. Yeah, you find out a lot about yourself.

Back at it, baby. Yeah, yeah, you find out a lot about yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Gonna do a lot of that this baby. Yeah, you find out a lot about yourself. Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna do a lot of that this year. Yeah But it's fun. So this weekend by the way, oh, yes Friday two shows in Philly, please come Please please come. That's a fucker. That's the womb dude. Yeah. Yeah, it is the womb But then it's also the place where everyone's heard everything you've ever done Dude, yeah, yeah, it is the womb but then it's also the place where everyone's heard everything you've ever done

And you get stressed you got at least another 20 new 20 something like that Yeah, I was trying to do some new stuff this weekend to some of it some of it works, but Yeah, I blackened catfish for lunch and I'm burping it up and it tastes like a hot dog Why'd you have blackened catfish? I want this place Vic and Al's it's a very nice like southern cuisine place. Yeah, it's cute Very good for having a bad day. You're like, let's go Cajun. Well, she was hungry. She woke up hungry They always wake up hungry. It's how you hungry just woke up fucking ice just open. Why are you starving? It's fucking weird It's the most important meal of the day. It's not it's a fucking myth. It's useless. So you yeah, you reversed it on her You're like, let's just go. I'm going to eat a bucket of cayenne pepper. Yeah, you hungry?

She got rice. I'll show you. I'll make my ass puke. No, it's actually very clean. It was rice, black, blackened catfish. It was very clean. Wonderful. I'm just burping.

Shout out, Vic and Al's. Shout out, Vic and Al's, dude. It's very clean. Wonderful, I'm just perping. Shout out Vic and Al's. Shout out Vic and Al's, dude, it's very good. So it's just you, Josh, and Josh's sty at the. Yeah. We land, we land Thursday. Dude sent me a picture, I dropped my phone. Dude, yeah, it's disgusting. The fucking sty was horrendous.

It was disgusting. But we got there Thursday and we took it easy. We were good boys. Really? We wanted to wake up fresh. Probably because there's nothing to do. That's a little bit true. I went to OKC the night before and I watched Shane

on the ESPYs, because tomorrow I was going to New York City and I was like, I'm just gonna get there. It's gonna relax. I had a family vacation. I wanna just chill the fuck out. It's OKC. And I was proud of myself. I'm like, I didn't get hammered.

It's like,'s not in the fucking Bars close at 930 dude a hundred percent. Yeah, and it's in like the hotel. We say has like the real bad part of Okay, see it's like an industrial area where as soon as I got there some guy walked by me I don't think I've ever fist down. He's like, oh you want to play and it was he wasn't even talking to me But he just screaming I was like the fuck no, I want to check in I'm not trying to play. I'm trying to get a fucking nap trying to beat off in the hotel room. Nobody's playing Damn good for him though for getting up for the ghosts. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that was me yesterday They have that kind of edge. Yeah ghosts. It was me my living room just walking in circles. You want to play my dogs like yes Actually, I'd like you to take me outside and I get

peed on the carpet. Oh Yeah, sorry. What were you saying? I Was I don't think I was saying I talking. Yeah. Yeah, you're doing good. Oh, we're talking about being good in his eyeball Yeah, he's woke up Friday woke up Friday. He's already pink. So like having a big pink second lid He had a theory that it was your dog looking at your face that what? Hook hookah like licks my eyes every day. It's not that it's not that what else could It's not that. What else could it be? The Atlanta stripper queef.

The mountainous Atlanta stripper. I do love that. Atlanta, that's what happens. Yeah, girls queef. They're like that one little dinosaur in fucking Jurassic Park. Just their ass though. Their pussy flaps just are... Dude. Just went down to the front desk and it'll water. Fuck. You guys should help an Atlanta strip club.

Nah, we were trying to stay focused. Yeah, we were trying to cause I was very scared about the whole weekend. So I was trying to stay focused. We were trying, because I was very scared about the whole weekend, so I was trying to be disciplined. Then Saturday night we tore it up. Got absolutely obliterated. It was like one of those things where it's like we really hadn't drank the whole weekend and then Saturday night it was like eight shots and 30.

He's just make up for the other two nights. You're just drunk at a Waffle House. Yeah, we just got fucked up in the, the green rooms You're just drunk at a Waffle House. Yeah. We just got fucked up in the green rooms of arenas are like so fun. It's like a it's like a oh yeah. It's like an apartment. The second place had a OKC Thunder. There had a game room next door.

Green room. So we had Skeeball. We had fucking Golden T. Oh, man. Oh ski ball, we had fucking golden tea. Oh, dude, it was legendary. And then we're watching UFC fights. It was just perfect. There were some good fights too. The Chiefs came the fuck with us.

That rules. Oklahoma Sooners came the fuck with us the night before. Was Mahomes there? No, just a couple of linemen. Oh, fuck yeah. A couple of big boys. That rules. It's funny, cause we saw a bunch of linemen

from the Sooners. Sooners whole offense showed up the first night. Yeah. Yeah, in Oklahoma. And the second night was the Chiefs, but the Sooners. Holy fuck, they're great. Yeah. A great group of guys.

College boys. Yeah, and you see the linemen for college, you're like, holy shit. Oh, they're great. Yeah. A great group of guys, too. College boys. Yeah, and you see the linemen for college, you're like, holy shit. Oh, they're fucking huge. And then you see NFL, you're like, that's not real. That is, I wanna cut this man to see if it's actual human flesh, too. The difference between NFL linemen

and it's like another four inches and height and width 300 fucking pounds Yeah, they're fucking fucking men. They're not even fat. They're just huge. Yeah, it's just a stretch of an iPhone screen I don't know how the fuck it's possible because they're like they're you know, proportional which is frightening It's like seeing Aaron judge in person. Do you remember that? Yeah Fucking that's proportional. How are you that? giant and jacked and Proportionate

Usually it's like you got water in your fucking brain There's some kind of fucking thyroid issue and you just right right, you know eighth grade you grow to seven feet Andre the giant yeah yeah you're all fucking wobbly retarded looking yeah yeah yeah yeah your tongue gets fatter than your face everything hurts cuz you're too big yeah I was good slaughters it is he's a grown-to- fast you get a lump in your I literally haven't heard that term since eighth grade everybody everybody had Until you saw one dude that actually had it which was my brother actually had it dude the lump underneath his kneecap Was another skull it was crazy. What the fuck is it from? It's from growing too fast and then what what's happening your bones are trying to I?

Guess compensate for the yeah, I mean making this up dude. Yeah, I think this is what it is I think it's just an extreme pace of growth and your bones can't Deal with it so the pain of just waking up and walking on it is like brutal then he only turned out to be like five Just waking up and walking on it is like brutal then he only turned out to be like five Yeah, he's gonna look at his fucking love oh Yeah, I got a Are you gonna have a spurt dude having a That would be sick. That's not possible, right? You can't just grow at your age

How? It actually might be a knee style you pig I never really grew. Damn, your mom popped you out like that, dude. You know, it's just like one of those things. I don't think I, I never really experienced like growing. Yeah, I was very minimal as well, obviously. And you just kind of like kept pace with everyone else. Like, there was never a moment where I was like tiny and then

I caught up or like, yeah, or I was ahead. Some people were like ahead. People that stayed like a year back that wound up being my height got to be like tall for a year. Yeah, yeah. Like the stars of eighth grade basketball that sprouted in sixth grade. Harry Nuts. Dude, showing my fucking, showing the whole class how Harry is nuts are in sixth grade. You're like, oh my God, you're a dad. That was huge. And then he's great at basketball and then everybody catches up in ninth grade and he sucks dick and you're like, Oh, I had no idea. You just rebounded.

You're a dog shit athlete. Yeah, that was tough. That that's, that's a tough year when you got to hide that you don't have pubes. Yeah. Oh my God. Is everyone's going like, Oh, do you have pubes? And you're like, yeah, of course I do. Fucking loser. Yeah going like you have pubes and you're like, yeah, yeah, of course I do fucking loser Yeah, show you my pee. Yeah, but every then you go home every day. You're like, come on

Yeah, and it was it was that moment like but when the first one came out It is it's like in the planet Earth when that first trickle of water comes for like the start of the rainy season God falls to the earth, dude. You see that first black curly, you're like, ah, it's only a matter of time. Yeah. Yeah. You see a black girl here like I might as well get a job. Yeah, I just start growing to like soft for your high school.

And then I grew like another four inches or whatever wasn't It's very boring. Yeah, and assuming but that's my mom's fault. She's a small little Irish midget. I don't blame myself Was your dad tall? Yeah, nine five ten. I Think I'm the tallest five ten and a half five eleven Big victory. It's a big victory. I'm gonna go. I'm the tallest five ten and a half five eleven Big victory big victory. I'm gonna go I'm gonna get measured Like fully measured. I've been spending five hundred hours a month. I've said this so long for the last like four months I've done not healthcare. Yeah Not enough should be going all the time, but now it's a place for you. Like I don't want to get any bad news

Yeah, but I gotta to protect my asshole. Yeah. You know, 45, you got to start looking at your dingus. Make sure there's no gross. Just every morning take an asshole pic. Yeah. Yeah, see what's developing. No, you got to get in the prostate.

I don't care what the outside looks like. It's a flower. It's a beautiful flower. It's a perfect little sunflower in my bum sunflower my boy should have like a home prostate testing kit. They do you take a shit? Yeah, I have one you take a shit. You take a prostate screening test You shit in a kit send it back and it has like pre cancers Cells in your dump. No my god now Haven't opened it Why is your prostate so close to your asshole? I guess it has to be yes the fucking that's a transmission for your nuts to get

The come they get the come gone We're cooking with ass. Damn big news this week, Epstein. What about him? He didn't do it. What? He didn't do it. Epstein's Epstein's innocent. And so is everyone around.

He is guilty of suicide wait What's going on? Where did you just go? What do you mean? That's that's been the the news of the week? Trump was like there's nothing there. Oh Oh, yeah, yeah, it's just a bunch of made-up stuff. Oh, I thought you serious We're not the fucking Fox News We're not just looking at a ticker going. All right, what's up next? F-team didn't do it. Well, yeah, I mean it's usually conversational I had no idea what the fuck you were talking about dude F-team is as close to the asshole as the prostate. True, true, true.

That whole grouping, Jesus Christ. So he just came out and said, what's like the final, the final verdict, was it, none of it happened? Oh, I don't think there's any final verdict. Everyone's just like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, give us something. Yeah, and now all the Dems are like, yeah, we gotta explore this. Yeah. It's like where were you guys past four years? Also, what are you gonna explore at this point? I

Nothing's gonna have every I know but everyone it's it's so clear that everyone is involved. Yeah, which is Everybody knows that bizarre. Yeah, it's like really everyone was Fucking kids. Yeah. Yeah There had to be a couple that go on that trip going. Oh, no. No, I thought I thought we were just chilling 100% you see Prince fill up or wherever that fucking queers name is and he see him fucking a 12 year old Taiwanese and you're like Guys, I gotta be honest with you, we were playing Texas hold'em for a couple of days.

I really thought we'd just be hanging out at the cabana, have a few drinks. Jet skis, throw a football. God, but you're like, thank God it's the 90s and nobody's filming this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank God no one will ever find out about this. Yeah. Thank God camc will ever find out about this. Yeah. Thank God camcorders are so expensive. Oh shit. All right. Well good on them, man.

You know, people need to start realizing the government has always been doing this shit. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. Galeen hasn't killed herself She can't she might she might she might now you can't waste those perfect hits It's true those meat bags are Hall of Fame Nobody's even really been checking in on her in prison like how she doing she probably died a long time ago. Mm-hmm. I'd be cool And they just have a mannequin in there? I mean the fucking, just huge perfect tits.

It's just a sex doll with perfect tits. I mean the money that they have to give back to like, do you know what I mean? Like, I think of like, like a cocaine fucking drug lord gets arrested the government's like we're gonna put you up in a nice fucking house You're gonna live in this little Corner of the country and you're gonna have your own little ranch. This is prison for you, right? We're gonna bring in whores so you can fuck them. You can hang out your boys play pool all day

It's a vacation. She's got to be in prison somewhere, right? That's what I'm asking I think you think it's like legitimate. I'm sure Prison I'm sure it's country club prison. Yeah, it's like it's like for for the rich people, but still it's like hey She's not doing any interviews or anything like that. Yeah, I Don't know man. They should have like I just feel like for really high-profile prisoners There should be like, you know, like for really high profile prisoners, there should be like, you know, like the same kind of like watch cams they have for like a bald eagle. Yeah.

You should just be, you know what I mean? Yeah. That was like piss me off. And pay into it. Yeah. Trillions of dollars. Yeah. Trillions.

Yeah. Hundred bucks a month you can watch Epstein in his cell. All day, 24 hour watch. True. I mean, that's why, that's really what I was like kind of pissed off about when Epstein killed himself because it felt like this is such a whole high profile guy and everyone was like, he's going to kill himself before he did it. It's like, how come we didn't have nationwide watch?

Well, that's why, because they went to kill him. It's the easiest proof why people go, Oh, of course you killed him. There was no surveillance. Meanwhile, we got surveillance on the fucking county jails in Philadelphia. Yeah. You know, yeah. Anytime there's a prison riot, it's all on film. Yep, we got the most high profile guy in the world. And there's like, batteries were out everyone took a nap Yeah, the fucking lead guard at diarrhea for four hours

Somebody came in and fucking chose his ass With the strongest hands in all time. Yeah. Hannibal Lecter. Release the hounds. I hope he got fucked right in the ass one time at least, you know? Epstein?

Yeah. I want to be like a prison warden. Yeah. So you decide who gets fucked in the ass? Yeah. Judge executioner. I want to be like a prison warden. Yeah, so you decide who gets fucked in the hand? I want a judge, yeah. Judge, executioner, I want it all. And a warden. It's always...

Dude, that's so funny. Here comes your ass fucking. Again, that's all a guy sk gives out. Nothing but ass fucks. Yeah, you know, just like give him the fucking business. I want medieval type shit, dude. Yeah. Just honey all over your testicles and just have fucking war ants pop at it. That'd be wild. Yeah, this crazy shit.

Just like old school torture stuff. Yeah. There had to be like a fucking Einstein of torture. 100%. Just one guy like, you gotta go to fucking Marty. Marty has all the ideas. Oh dude. Of excruciating long lived pain.

And kings that are just tired of seeing the same old. Yeah, switch it up. Yeah, we keep putting them in like the Iron Maiden thing. right? And it's like I don't even get to see him really I hear the screams, but it's like I don't know it's missing something and need you need like a judge. Yeah Just skinning them to death and they don't really bleed out because you're not hitting the main arteries Yeah, and they just look like a fucking poster in a biology class On a wall. That's so hot. Yeah, that's a that would get me Process and being the guy who does that. Yeah, just don't move don't move

Just yeah, how do you get that gig palettes, you know you apply for that? Do you have their sickos and every fucking? Probably, yeah. He acts like he's not into it, and he's fucking loving it. Right, it's gotta be the one guy, cause you always had, they're so inbred, they had the one psycho retarded sibling. Yeah, right, yeah.

Like the dude from Fox Catcher. Yeah. That guy would've been the. Right, 100%. Filet the prisoner guy. You know, we gotta do something with him. He can't rule the country. You can't give him like a, can't make him like an Earl. Right.

Like a Duke. A Duke. Yeah, yeah. We got to just. You're the guy that takes the eyeballs out of every piece. You can pop one in your mouth every now and then, but don't go too far. Don't go too far.

Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke. And that's why he starts coming up with the elaborate torture stuff because he still wants to make his dad proud. Yeah, right. They sent me down here. How can I make daddy happy? I'm smart.

Not like everybody says. I'm a killer. I'm a killer. Man. You know they say like prisoners have to be killed. I'm a killer. I'm a killer. Man. You know, they say like prisoners have 24 hours a day to think about escape. If you were like just an executioner, you were creative executioner. Yeah.

24 hours a day to go, how can I fucking how can I torture somebody so bad? Right. And you go from like? Straight mobsters Boston Philly guys, whatever New York and they just removed fingernails and stuff That's enough to get you fucking crazy, right? Slicing your finger on a piece of aluminum foil. You're like fuck and it burns Imagine just getting your just teeth pulled. That's why I think it's probably easy to get jaded You know what? I mean if you're like the head torture guy Yeah, and someone's like we come up with a new way, and it's just like it's so easy to deliver pain

Yeah, you can do anything. Yeah, it's about keeping them alive It's psychological you have to keep them alive for a long time. Yeah, you have to force feed them That's why seven was beautiful. Yeah, maybe seven. Oh, dude, that was another quote from the Vietnam thing guy got caught behind enemy lines And and one of like the viet vietong like Kernels or whatever was like he had like a tape recorder and he was like, hey Like we'll give you some food. We'll make life easy for you. Just got to record a thing that's like against the war, against the war. And he was like, he's like, I'd rather die than talk shit about my country. And the guy just goes, dying is easy.

It's going to be staying alive. That sucks. Oh dude and this guy, this guy, this guy. I told you you're gonna go oh dude no definitely kill me. No this guy too oh I mean the worst story of all time. He like. I think it's more terrifying that you remember all of these quotes. He like I think it's more terrifying that you remember all of these quotes They burn a sear into your mind you they're like so horrific. Yeah, and this guy this guy he was just a medic He was a doctor and he was in a helicopter and it was foggy and the helicopter crashed And he wakes up everyone's fucked Except one other guy who's like got a broken leg and he like puts a splint on the leg

They just wait there cuz he was like the thing is you don't leave like the crash cuz they'll be able to find the crash And come save you He waits there for three days the other guy dies and then like so it's like halfway leg guy Yeah, it's like halfway through day three and he's like, all right. Well, I Got a guy. I got to get moving. Yeah. Yeah, so he like bumbles down this mountain gets out of the trees Looks up and he sees two helicopters hovering over the crash site Looking for him. But at this point he's like four hours down the hill and he's like hurt and it's just like Fuck. Oh my god

And then immediately just gets picked up if you come on it's just like oh and then that guy delivers that line to him you just like why don't I just stay on that fucking hill yeah and I'm bitching about being tired when he got home I don't want to podcast. I don't want to walk a dog From months straight and you just think about every parent at the zoo being like if we get lost yeah It's just like there's no way I wear your name tag this one nobody run anywhere Do my parents left me for ice sesame place And yardly was the first time I got lost. I was like five years old. I never forgot it

And my brothers were tall enough to get on this fucking log fluent or whatever some waterpark ride And I wasn't so I had to go back down a level and just watch over You know over the side of the steps with my mom and dad. Yeah, my mom Like that was probably fucking away And then my mom And then my mom, big bird ass. He's jerking off Elmo. And my mom, my mom just leaves. She just left me. So I'm flipping the fuck out. And I

finally get in the Lost and Found and I was there for like an hour. I thought I was hit. I thought I was a prisoner of war. It is I guess a smart move but it's so funny to take yourself to lost No, somebody picked me up because I was screaming. Oh, oh, yeah, I just dropped you off a guard was like what's wrong? But I was like my family left And then I just sat there swinging my legs crying. My mom gets come on get up. Where were you? I was like you left me Come on, get up. Where were you? I was like, you left me, bitch. It's crazy. I like old school, like eighties, seventies, nineties, like that

old fucking immigrant mentality of going like toughen up, like really fuck you up early. You don't realize it till it comes out later. Yeah. You know, like that abandonment type shit. It's not divorce, but it's close when you're five years old. The whole family just disappears I couldn't even get on a fucking ride and they're gone and I'm sitting around, you know a bunch of randos Yeah, it's it's painful. I don't know. That's thrown you into the fucking jungle. I had one like that I didn't get lost but my family wanted to go on like what looked like the rickety is most dangerous roller coaster and Cody Island Yeah, that's still the oldest. Yeah. it? Yeah, yeah, I think so. I've been on it. Yeah, they were like, let's go on that.

And I was like, I'm not fucking going on that. And they were like, all right, well, we're going. I think it's called the Cyclone or something like that. I think it is, yeah. And I just sat there and was like... I'm going to watch my whole family die. How do I get home from you? Yeah. Sir, another roller coaster hit the building. Oh man. All right, guys. Let's get up. So I was good. What are we at? Nah, 15 more minutes minutes 50 45. Yeah, it feels like another hour 45

Sweating my dick off. I Didn't go to the gym in 12 days Yeah, but you're on the beach that counts a lot of working out on the beach just constant Exercise in the waves out of the way. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I was falling asleep at like 11 o'clock. Yeah, it's getting up at 8 That is nice. It was on beach time, dude I was eating fucking muffin to the morning going for brisk walks with the fat ladies on the fucking boards I was bruising with the weights. Yeah, the weights on the wrist and legs. Yeah, they're still overweight. It's like that's not how you do it Whatever makes you feel healthy, Sam.

Hey, good walk, good walk. A good brisk walk is nice. It's a nice little fuckin', yeah, picks you up. Good, you gotta do somethin', you gotta start somewhere. There was no surf, that was fuckin', it was a lake. Couple weak ass waves. Yeah. It's good for skinball, but I wanna get fuckin' hurt.

It's great for skinball. I wanna want to get fucking hurt great for skin ball I want to get my lower back fucking blown out By a wave. Yeah policy by a wave. She said by a wave. I would like to get Haven't met him You can get really fucked up. I do scorpion you get school You can get really fucked up. I do scorpion. You get scorpion by end over end. Yeah, it's dangerous, man.

When I used to kayak or sell kayaks on the beach, they would shut the beach down to the public during like tornado or hurricanes off the coast. Yeah, because the surf would be just the toe and the undertow and the wave size would just be so dangerous. They'd shut the whole beaches down. But if you were an employee surfers lifeguards anyone that worked the beach system

Free ring they didn't fuck with you So we would take kayaks out and I went this one time and I didn't put a vest on because I was Yeah, you're like nothing 19. Yeah, there's freshman year college. I'm like, I'm invincible Dude, I'm honest a single kayak taking this fucking giant wave. It's things like 15 feet And if you I caught the top And then the front hit the fucking wave digs in Fucking sent and I couldn't get back into shore because the pole Was so hard.

I started screaming for all the other people but they were so far away and I'm just getting crushed and I'm trying to swim and it's just the pole. Dude, I finally get in. I get in, this kid, he was a man, he wasn't a kid. This man was an insane person who was both a surfer and he worked at the kayak shop. He gets up and he's like, hey man,

he didn't see the pain in my eyes. And I'm like scared shitless. Finally get there to the beach and he meets me and he pulls out of the water, he goes, hey man, you see my kayak? And I was like, no, no, I don't even know where mine is. And it's like, he goes, oh man, you see my kayak? And I was like, no, no. I don't even know where mine is. And it's like, he goes, oh, there it is.

And it was like a fucking 100 yards down the beach. And he runs away and his entire back is bleeding. Like dude, fucking top all the way down through his ass and his shorts. Dude, undertow is scary. I still kind of think undertow is like a myth. Oh no, it's fucking real. I know, but it's's just I remember hearing kids dying by getting sucked out by the undertow I just feel like you could you gotta be a dumb ass. Yeah, you think but you don't know no people

Just do not know. Yeah, that's when lifeguards are like, all right Everybody goes up to like here on their ankles. You're like, I think that Cosby show guy just died He did yeah from undertow is that was that what it was? I think so. I didn't see the body of water. He died in I don't know I think he's just on the beach in Costa Rica. I just figured like bottle in the back It's such a tough way to go Such a tough way to go. Anyway, I went back and sure and I got fucking too. I got to I put two life preserves on to Go back out. I was like fuck this You ain't taking me, bro

Yeah, of course you didn't just stay on the beach. You're like I'll go back. Yeah. Yeah. Well again 19 Do you imagine imagine? I I that kind of shit scares me so much You're supposed to let it just take you and I know then you swim parallel with the beach But it's also just like he was 55. Yeah, you're like God with the beach. But it's also just like he was 55. Yeah. You're like, God, just imagine going 55 years. Yeah. You're on the Cosby show. He was 54. All this stuff is happening. Yeah. And then you just, you get sucked out by the undertow in Costa Rica and just drown. Man. There's no way you see that coming. Don't disrespect the ocean. I know, but... It always scares me that some weird late life death

is, you know, is waiting for me. You know, like you're just coming out of the grocery store you're 70, someone shoots you in the face. You're like, what? Yeah. Dude, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding, I just thought of this. What the fuck is that? 70 years in?

That's how I'm going to go? By chance? Yeah, you weren't even aiming for me? You were trying to hit the guy behind me? When I grabbed the cantaloupe too fast? My dumb wife? You just stepped into it? My wife needed a cantaloupe that morning. Cause that is the energy you'd have.

Dude, I have visions of that kind of shit where like today I dropped my key. We took a key off for your girl to get in the house. And I dropped the single key when the door was open. And I just envisioned some dude just walking up and shooting me in the face yeah like I already it's such a ridiculous way to die but I think to myself now right and well who would be killing me right nobody yes this is but you still think yeah this is just how it would happen yes my guard would be down. My guard would be down. I drop the key.

I don't usually drop keys. I know. They've been waiting every single day. They're just hiding in a bush for a year, waiting for you to come out and drop a key. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah.

Freak, freak geezer deaths. Yeah. Oh, they bum me out so much. Yeah, I just watching New invention yesterday was this fucking 70 year old got smoked Some guy robbed him and then fucking bound him and everyone's like, yeah duct taped his fucking Put something in his mouth up his his hands and he just suffocated his driveway 70 years old. Yeah, They didn't find a guy. Anyway, 48 hours.

And you're just like, yeah, it's like I'm fucking. First 48, I'm sorry, first 48. That's my go-to. When I'm hungover, first 48. It's also like, why are you tying me, like, I'm gonna tell the cops. Yeah. You think I wanna be involved in, I'm 70.

Yeah. You know what I mean? If you just left Yeah with all my stuff. I just go. All right. Well, whatever. Yeah, I got a return this 48 inch TV You know bind me up It's fucking annoying. Yeah, I Guess we already live like we're fucking 70 What with our mentality how so you're just a miserable fucking twat like I am Just always exhausted and pissed off about nothing. I know I know I imagine getting the fucking 60

I'm 45. It's another 15 years. Yeah, I'm gonna be on a fucking I'm gonna be on a lawn chair dude bitching at everybody walking by you know I went to shit in a fucking in a driveway cracking beers just making fun of anyone that walks past I had a moment like that this weekend I ordered Chick-fil-a breakfast and I kind of didn't know how to do it yeah I like I was in fairness to me I did I had like we talking brick and mortar online brick and mortar I had I kind of had I had one headphone in and I walk in there and like some it's just like you know, it's like an 18 year old kid running the rest of your register and

I'm like Yeah, could I get whatever the fucking sausage egg and cheese was? Okay, like number three and they were like yeah and They're like, what do you want with it? And I was like, okay get a coffee No, like yeah, what do you want like your original or do you want like vanilla or and I was like just milk and they're Like yeah comes with milk. I Was like, okay That just felt so lost and then they gave me just like some syrupy

chocolatey fucking course and it was just like just say black and then you could figure it out on your own in the fucking little area I didn't with all the condiments for real I don't think it was an option you can't give a loss I was a 16 year old kid and I think I think they have to I think they have to put syrup in it at least that was my energy at the time it's gonna come out like a Dairy Queen blizzard. These kids don't make coffee. That is what I got.

Give it black. I figure it the fuck out on my own. Yeah, and I got a bacon, egg, and cheese instead of a sausage, egg, and cheese. I heard their chicken breakfast sandwich is incredible. It's really good, yeah. On the biscuit. Yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy. Did you guys treat yourself to a dinner or something? No, we kept going to this one place that sucked There was like a place around the corner and we just kept going like I can't believe let's go there You found one place and you were like, yeah, this is comfortable It was right next to the hotel and everything was bad. We got We like we went there and then you went let's do it again we did we went there on the last day We went there for breakfast and it was like so they did breakfast like Unbelievably bad. It was literally got like sausage and eggs and they somehow fucked it up

It was dude. They gave us an amount of eggs We got scrambled eggs and they gave us like less than one eggs worth of scrambled eggs. It was unbelievable. And it was like running. It was crazy. And then the bacon was like, dude, the bacon. It squealed. It's worse than that. It was like a thin belt. You know what I mean? You know when the bacon's just like, it's not crispy and it's worse than that. It was like it was like it's like a thin belt You know what I mean? No one the bacon's just like it's not crispy and it's not chewy. Yeah, just a strip of leather Yeah, yeah, yeah fucking crazy just uncooked potatoes a biscuit that was like it was it was like how is this not like hotel eggs with like a

Pepperidge farm or whatever the fucking like Pillsbury like biscuit, you know what I mean? Like you somehow like this is below the cheapest, shittiest biscuit, bacon and eggs I've ever seen. You're in the woods of Atlanta. I don't think anyone's fucking yelping this. It's like kind of like a nice restaurant in that area. Really? Yeah. People were dressing up to go there. Yeah, people, yeah. Jesus. Jesus. It was wild, man. What's the name of the city called?

Alpharetta. Alpharetta. What the school of the Joey Alpharetta? Good short stop. Yeah, it was kind of like, it almost seemed like kind of a nice area, but it's just one of those places where like Like the name of this restaurant was like firewood grill fire It's so funny everything's a firewood grill firewood grill fire chicken restaurant. Yeah. Okay wood ink Oh, yeah we first get in there and the guy, it was like one of these dudes, just the drunkest, most social dude ever. Yeah, fuck. With his wife and they were so annoying.

It was one of those things where he was like, and it was like a black bartender and he was being like way over the top, nice to the black bartender in a way that almost felt racist. Yeah, of course. He was like, what's your birthday, man? He was like, March 6th.

He's like, I'm March 2, motherfucker, yeah! And he was like, holy shit. And the guy was like 65. Oh my God. Have you never met a black dude? Yeah, and he kept going, get the chicken. And we were like, yep. And he was like, get the chicken, it's good.

It's like, okay He's talking to you guys. Yeah And then we and then we neither of us got the chicken, but we told him that we got the chicken Yeah, we could tell you annoying bitch it is is wild. That plays nuts Waffle house is also funny. I like Like Josh and I and then like some of the staff went to Waffle House just absolutely shit face I fuck with that. Yeah, it was great. It's been years. I would play someone was with a God do but everyone everyone so we all get food and then Stein. Oh really? Yeah, she drove me home from I did a show in Corning.

The Corning glass house. Oh shit. Yeah it's nice up there. Yeah the glass museum. Yeah. Corning New York. Yeah. Because we had the same agent.

And they had a Waffle House up there? On the way home we found a Waffle House. Damn. Fucked with it hard. Oh it's so great. It's great. And at the end at the end like at the end, like, so everyone, like the lady, like the manager there

was just like an old lady with two teeth, you know? She had like two like gerbil teeth. Oh, damn. A can opener. Yeah. And that's the fucking Hawaiian punch can opener. And I'm shit-faced. I'm shit-faced at the end and trying to be cool

and I'm like, I got it, I'll get everyone's I'll get everyone's meal I thought it was gonna be like kind of expensive. It was like 40 bucks Jesus and then the lady the lady was like it's uh, yeah, it's $60 and I was 100 she was like I had to tell you just paid rent for four years No, no, I was like I was hammered so I couldn't it didn't compute. I was like you that's everybody's Yeah, and she's like yeah, it's Waffle House What I gave her 100 like treat yourself to a blouse lady Your next aprons on me cast iron pan it's on that

All right, yeah, we will see you and the page and a tree and