Stuff Island - Stuff Island #10 - bee keepers w/ Steve Rannazzisi

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

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Um Stevie Renner's ish Hey It's good to see you kid Good to be seen Yeah Fucking I gotta mention what just transpired

It's pretty wild right It is pretty wild What happened What were Oh with the people Yeah they're renting out the top and the bottom Wait they're for sure gonna do it No they were just checking out the space

But we walked into that Scared the fuck out of me Above it Cause they're in the Oh I See I didn't know what we were walking into so that was like oh my god you've got neighbors so yeah I wouldn't say I'm like is there an audience for this podcast casting your podcast they're very attractive couple I was like yeah cool but they're

living upstairs and they're trying to see the downstairs one but our landlord is so so void so there's three units here there's three units yeah and then they walk in and we look like we're about to just murder them thank god we're here because i was like come inside because it's fucking because we needed a girl well dude i was taught they they rang the doorbell i went and met them and they were like yeah we're here for the open house and i look upstairs and there's literally like boxes and shit yeah in front of the door they see your crazy eyes with the lights on in the living room. The rug's in the kitchen.

Rolled up. Yeah, rolled up rug in the kitchen. Well, you invited them. This is where you lay the plastic. Cleaning products out. The whole under the kitchen sink. Chris is just welcoming with a box cutter. Sorry I got blood on your floor, Henry.

Oh, come on in. Yeah, it's cold out there. I know it's cold out there. It's crazy. Well, I didn't realize there's one below us because we walk right on that. Yeah, they just renovated the one below us. But yeah, the old landlord, he would just walk around. I thought yours was just renovated.

You motherfucker. No, I'm kidding. This is beautiful. You motherfucker. No, I love it. This is a fucking capital castle over here. I love it. I swear to God.

So he calls me. He can't find parking because I told him it was going to be easy. First of all, don't just say it like that. I texted him earlier and I said, what's the parking situation like? Because I like to be prepared for things. I'm going to show up early. If he says it's a nightmare, I'm going to show up 20 minutes early, which I already did anyway. Look for parking.

Make sure I'm there. I'm an on-time person. You're right. Our drive, I appreciate it. So then he's like, it's no big deal. There's meters everywhere. He made it sound like it's a fucking free-for-all. He doesn't drive.

He's got no idea. Again, that's my fault for not understanding that But then, now I'm just like You know when it's like You get here, it's 5.32 I'm like, I got plenty of 28 minutes The music's still on Then you text me, I'm like, hey, I'm looking for the Now it's 48, and I'm like, the music's down

And you start to change your gait a little bit You're like, what the fuck is going on? You're getting out of your gut. And then it turns into a thing where like, now I'm going to be late. I don't want to be late for something I was never intentionally. I was fucking not late. Yeah, yeah. You were incredibly early.

Yeah. Also, the parking people, like the parking is not terrible, but the people who park are animals. Like, I don't know if you saw this driving around, but you'll see cars six feet from a curb cutout. You're like, dude, you got to tighten that up. Yeah, but maybe there's a whole other car. Maybe there's a couple mopeds in front of that. Dude, there's one guy across the street who parks. There's two cars can fit there easily. It's a clown car, by the way.

No, no. Are you talking about Paisito? No, no, no. A literal clown lives across the street. Oh, really talking about Paisito no no no a literal clown lives across the street from us oh really a working clown

sweetest man in the world and is the car part of the act like is it one of those things where you get a tiny car where you gotta roll out with all these

I don't think so okay because that would work well in this neighborhood I think it's the fine parking this is what I should have told you how big is your car

it's not a big car and dude yeah so he texts me outside after looping around for 20 minutes. And he goes, my blinkers are on right out front. And that's when I was like, dude, I grabbed the keys. Am I going to go help him park? Yeah.

I'm running down the steps. I run to the outside of this nice truck. And I go to hit the knob. And a guy comes around out of nowhere and starts putting a box in the open trunk. He was nowhere in front of our fucking house. I almost got in the car of the dude who was loading up. Yeah, it was like a couple places down the block. Yeah, you were like four or five houses down the line.

I was like, dude, that's not my fucking house. It was going to be shot. This is where I am. I got my blinkers on. I think you'll find me now. It's easier now. You'll find me. And then I got there.

It was a Tesla. I'm like, oh, that's where the attitude is going. He jumps in. I'm like, it's warm. Get in. Let's go. I couldn't figure out how to open it. You got like push. It's a fucking. No one can open it. It's a now. It's easier now. And then I got there and it was a Tesla. I'm like, oh, that's where the attitude He jumps in and I'm like, it's warm, get in, let's go. I couldn't figure out how to open it. You got like push.

No one can open it. People get, and they get mad. Yeah, of course they should get mad. Fuck this car. Yeah. Fuck you and this fucking Elon Musk. And you're like,

all right. Until that situation. I didn't know how to get out either. He's like, hit the top button. And it's like a push button. I like Tesla. They're smooth, cool cars.

I like that it's a push button it's a beautiful car that makes me feel like i should catch up see i don't resent the technology but i just left it in the middle of nowhere and uh yeah no i think he's like we read the sign it's like it look you know it's one of those like you know it's in front of a church so it's like you have to be evangelical to park here number one that's the first thing but on sundays tuesdays it's like this side and that side it's cool so i think we're fine who gives a shit you know what i heard this is a this is a life hack i guess i have a friend who got like the premium packet he was gonna like marry his friends uh-huh and so you got like ordained as a

fucking minister yeah oh he's got a minister placard? Yeah. If you get the premium package, they send you like a parking car. Out front of a church? And he parks in front of a church all the time. He just puts that thing in the window. I want an ambassador's one. Dude. Because you can like just leave that

in the middle of the street and no one can touch it. You can't go near it. A big Philly thing for like friends that like know cops, they get the, no. What? They get that little...

It's like a tiny little badge. Yeah. You can pin on the back of your license plate. And that's like... I went to grade school with a guy who's now a cop. Really? And they won't pull you off of the turnpike when you're fucking flying. Wow.

Yeah, if you donate to the fraternal order of police. Yeah, you give like 20 bucks and just say you know some fucking waterhead. Yeah, but we did pass a girl that was... Well, a girl, was Well a girl Lady Whatever she was Sitting in her car And texting Like in a fucking great spot

Dude don't get us started And they go Are you cool She's like And she just Didn't even roll it down She just gave the Yeah

Yeah piss off And I was like Oh good thing it's not The coldest fucking day In 40 years here Yes And this guy doesn't even Have a jacket on

We're walking back Well I thought we were Going to take a whip Around the block Dude I was I haven't been have a jacket on. We're walking back. Well, I thought we were going to take a whip around the block. I'm fine. It's fine. Dude, I haven't been in a car in four years. This is fun.

Dude, it's honestly changed me. That's hilarious. Now I'm in a car. When I get in one and someone's going like 65, I white knuckle like my mom used to. Steve, slow down. You don't rent cars on the road or anything like that? Or when you go places and stuff? No.

I get car sick in the back seat now, too. You have to be in the front. Yeah. I used to like, I could be, I wouldn't give a fuck where I was. I do that bitch lean where you get like through the separation. Yeah, yeah. Did you see me in the Uber on the way to, are you garbage? No, no, I didn't look.

I did a lean. It's like staring at the horizon when you're on a boat that's going bananas. What's the lean? Like when you lean on the middle thing and you kind of just. Yeah, and you got to look, you got to peek. Oh, but you have to do it otherwise you start to get nauseous yeah dude i well listen i i don't know what i did i went to where did i go for new year's fort wayne indiana to do this new comedy club and i was like all right i'm starting new year's

earlier than everybody else so i'm gonna start getting like after christmas i'm like i couldn't even get my wedding ring on i I was so fat. So fat. So swollen. I got to start now. From boozing? From just everything. Boozing, eating, everything. It's just been marinara.

Your hands got fat? My dude, my wedding ring. Notice I'm not wearing it right now because I'm back to it. For a dude to get away with cheating on his wife, he just sat on his hand. Did I show my wife on Christmas Eve? I go, you get this off. I go, you go ahead. Christmas Eve.

I go, get it off. You tell me. Once I get it off, the jaws of life we needed to get this fucking thing off. We got it off. She goes, don't put that on for a while. I go, okay. And so I was like, I'm getting healthier. It's healthier, right? So a week I did the Peloton.

Now I'm going away for – That's a chainsaw. Yeah. I felt like – I was like, no one has ever – when I walked on towards the plane, I was like, no one has ever when i walked on towards the plane i was like no one's ever looked as good as i look like in the history of mankind it is though it's the endorphin yes what i was saying about like even if you jog on a treadmill like we'll fucking smoke a bottle of whiskey have a terrible weekend yep you if i don't get to the gym the next day i'm a absolute waste oh no no i'm I'll find excuses to not get there at all.

I have no problem with that. But the day that I do, fucking watch out. Yes, dude. Because you've never seen an ass like mine. I kept showing my wife, I go, you ever seen a fucking ass like this before? I go, this is insane how fucking in shape I am. Yeah.

At 44. So I get to the airport super early, right over LaGuardia over here. I get to the Delta thing. I go, I've got two options. Dunkin' Donuts is open or that little Health Mart. I go, this is new, Steve. Yeah, Health Mart time.

Health Mart. Banana, orange juice, right? Eat the banana, chug the orange juice. You got another sexy bump. Right? So now I'm like, I'm so hot. Now your shirt's off. I'm healthy, dude.

I get on the plane, right? I sit down next to my lady. We all have the mask on. All of a sudden, you know, it's like the first minute and a half no you fucking sweating you hot bubble guts dude yes dude i was like dude wait is this on the plane on the plane right so i got like no no no but it's like four degrees out everyone else is like i gotta i gotta get this off so this is off now and now i'm doing the thing Where I gotta hear

Right Shirt Pit stains Pit stains And I got the The vomit bag Right I take my mask

And I'm going Into this Right I don't know what's happening My stomach is just moving around And all of a sudden I'm like I'm not gonna be sick

The girl goes Are you okay I go I am okay I think Don't ask me that again I go But I don't have If you ask one more time I'm gonna throw up I said I go I don't have COVID I tell you okay? I go, I am okay, I think. Don't ask me that again. I go, but I don't have. If you ask one more time, I'm going to throw up.

I said, I go, I don't have COVID. I tell you that because I'm like, I know you don't believe me because I'm sweating like a heroin addict. Right, right, right. But I go, I don't have. I got tested this past week. Meanwhile, you're just like. She goes, okay, all right. But meanwhile, she's like trying to, you know.

And all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm going to be all right. I find that little fan that hits you, right? So I'm sitting there, right? And all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm fine. I got the mask on, right? I'm good. You know, you're talking to yourself. I'm good. You're good. Calm? And all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm fine. I've got the mask on, right? I'm good. You know, you're talking to yourself. I'm good.

You're good. Calm down. I was like, you're good. Bloop! Into the mask, right? No! Yeah, I barfed into my own mask. And I was like, oh, boop, boop, boop.

Immediately up to the bathroom, right? It was all orange juice. Like, who pours acid into an empty stomach in the morning and then jostles it around on a fucking plane? Dude. It came up like a smoothie, Tommy. It came up because there was banana chunks and the fucking. It was like a smoothie.

I could have bottled it and drank it like an hour and a half, chilled it and drank it an hour and a half later. Dude, I had no idea about this before. And I had a hangover that was so bad that I kept. I thought the orange juice was going to cure my hangover. So I threw up from the hangover. And I was like, my body needs vitamin C and nutrition. I drank more orange juice was going to cure my hangover, so I threw up from the hangover. And I was like, my body needs vitamin C and nutrition. I drank more orange juice, threw up. I did it four or five cycles until I finally realized

the orange juice is making me feel good. It made it sound like a dad. If I had gone to the Dunkin' Donuts and pounded two donuts in a Gatorade, I would have slept. Dude, you would have slept. Dude, you would have had to fucking get me out of a,

but that, this is my number one problem with airports now. And I barfed my mask. I had to throw my mask out. Then I come out, I go, I gotta ask the guy for a mask.

I go, you got another mask? Because he goes, where's your mask? I go, it's gone. How did you walk? And there's nothing

that can be done. And that's it. Socially can't be repaired. It's over. And so, how did you, how did you walk from your seat? Dude. Wait, hold on.

It's you, your wife, and who's the third? No, me. Now I'm by myself. I know, but you're your wife next to you in the seat. No, my wife's not next to me. Some strange lady's next to me. Oh, my God. Yes.

So you're holding a bag full of puke over your nose and... No, she didn't. I had my mask on, right? Which is now a bag of puke. It wasn't like a... It was like a... You know when the first part comes out where you're like bleh, and you get that warning before it's like, that came into the mask. And what I just did was just kind of clenched around the sides.

Sealed it? Yes. I sealed it like my underwear, like you would do in your underwear. And then I, you know, shame walked to the bathroom. The old face shit. Yep. And you get into the bathroom, you just, the mask comes. And then I, you know, shame walked to the bathroom. The old face shit. Yep. And you get into the bathroom. You just, the mask comes off.

Everything comes in. You know, then it just, now I'm free to do what I have to do. Right. And you whores bathed it. So you booed it? Did you pull? Yep. Pulled it.

Whores bathed it. All the fucking smoothie came out into the mouth. You did a face bath in the thing? Face bath in the thing. You know, kind of, I got the, you know, I got a cool, I got a cool down in here before I go back out there. Tell me the truth. When you left the bathroom, you know i'm like i gotta cool i gotta cool down in here before i go back out there when you left the bathroom you're like look how good my head dude i know i said to myself i go i got i go enough's enough with this healthy shit that's why i drew the line you know enough is enough with this yeah and i'm like when i had

to ask the guy go can i have another mask he was like he's like an orange juice he's like yeah yeah here we have it he just he was like i and i went sat back down the lady was just like i'm like i don't know how you don't you didn't call like if that was me sitting there and this reverse rolls as soon as she left i would have been up to the front like we've got an emergency we've got to land this plane we've got patient zero over here this guy's got all the signs he's got omicron delta flu vote covid aids and he's gonna die a side piece in whatever city you were about to land in and she didn't want to ruin her time she was like whatever it takes to get this fucking plan to land in detroit yes dude i have

a fantasy about this every time first of all i get horny as fuck when i get in an airport i don't know what it is yeah i get horny yep because it's like you got a couple hours to to get on a flight or an hour rather You have a beer And there's always This like weird sexy It's like going to a hotel bar In a different city

Yeah but what are you Gonna do it You meet eyes with a woman Huh Where's that Where's that going now That's the exciting part No I

Yeah Cause you have to find it Who knows Yeah I had a layover Recently People do it though And we missed our flight

And then had to layover And they put you up In like a nice hotel. Oh, really? Yeah. And I met, it was like exactly what I wanted. Wow. I met eyes with this like sexy Russian.

I was thinking that you were like, I'm at the bar and then like you see another person and you're like, oh, let's hook up right now in this moment right now. That's what's in my head. But where in the, where like in the terminal, in the bathroom and the. Yeah, who knows? Or you just like, where are you going? You know where I thought about the new place? Where?

The breast pump place. You know those pods they have for the women, the breast pump? Oh, yes. Hello? You don't think those are comfortable? You don't put your husband in there and you just lie and say, this is my wife? No, it's like the airport bathroom.

One lady goes in and everyone's like standing. Yes. And then they slide in and close that door. Yes. The reason I say that. I don't know how sturdy they are. Stay away from the door. I mean I don't want to

knock it over and jostle too much. The pod just starts rolling down the tarmac? The thing just starts to go down or down the terminal. Get some rhythm? You know.

But these are yeah. Well that folds over into like I have this whole sexual fantasy about

stewardesses or air air horse what do you call them i don't know uh flight attendants i think yeah yeah um i always think they're like because the ones that i've met are very sexually advanced and they're like they're the way they speak you mean like in real life when they're not like on the plane yes okay yes they're very stewardesses have you met? I don't think I've ever met a steward. I've met at least five or six stewardesses. Really?

Yeah. In the wild? No, yeah, especially in this area. You'll notice when you walk to go to the gym or something, you'll see a woman that's already dressed or a guy already dressed. Oh, are they the dudes? Yeah. Yeah, and they pull a... I'm like, I only know dudes, stewardesses.

And first of all, I don't think you can say stewardesses anymore. I think it's flight attendants. Flight attendants. I'm sorry. I don't know. I got a pop-up break. So they pull their bags down. They're already wearing their fucking gear, the American Airlines gear and stuff. They live here because they're so close to LGA.

Yeah, they have to. Or they put them up here if they're visiting from a different city. Like an Airbnb? Yeah. And that's where... And they have to. Or they put them up here if they're visiting from a different city. Like an Airbnb? Yeah. And that's where... And they get off, and if they have like one or two days, they just go right to these hotel bars, and they got... These are adults that care more about the travel miles, the free trips, the boozing

and partying, and getting knocked around in a fucking Marriott. I used to like the idea of being a flight attendant. You could be. As a job for yourself? Yeah, just for a little while. Yeah. You definitely... To travel? Just move yourself? Yeah, just for a little while. Yeah. To travel? You just move around.

Yeah, get to see the world. I don't like turbulence or planes or emergency. I'm not the guy that's going to help in the emergency. Me too. And so I can go to the school and you can teach me how to help. I'll pass all the tests and stuff. But when it all comes down to it. No shot.

You're not helping. It's not you. It's not me. It's not you. And then tell the world what I've. Yeah. I'll tell the world. Yeah, yeah.

Because I'll be alive. Yeah. A thousand percent. Yeah. How did that one flight attendant make it the only person to survive? Well, he ate everyone when he got off. He immediately started killing people. He took everyone's luggage and put them in a room.

Yeah, yeah. He was in the bathroom shitting himself. He had meat killing people. He was in the bathroom shitting himself. He had meat on racks. When he showed up, two days later, he killed everyone and had the meat, the human meat, hung ready to eat it. Could have just waited 48 hours. We would have been here. But I prepare early. You think you'd eat somebody?

No. I was just watching that. There's a Showtime show. The plane that goes down? The documentary? No. It's this, what's it called? Lady Bugs or Beekeepers?

I don't know the fucking name. It's about this girl's soccer team. It's a girl's soccer team. Their plane goes down. It's like a live. Nobody's prepared for that movie. What? Beekeepers.

This will be pleasant. No, I know. It's like, what's it called? It's a 13-year 13 year old girls eating each other what the fuck is that show called buzzer trappers I don't know

by the way don't search 13 year old girls eating each other it's on Showtime but yeah it's like a I don't know it's not done yet

I don't want to ruin it but their plane goes down is it like a South American squad no they're Americans and then it flashes forwards and like between like they you know they survive

so it's like it's time you know bounces back and forth but if they didn't survive it'd be a good story that's why that's what it's but it is like i'm like this is like a live this is like the chilean like i want to see but i you saw the doc on that right uh doc i think i saw i don't think i saw the truth wait i just might have like yeah i saw the movie they get in the detail about and they have like interviews of like dudes talking of like Dudes talking about

Like who had to eat and shit Really It's awesome And they're not like It was awesome Like it was like This guy was really delicious No no they had to

Like it got to the point They got to the point At no point do you think That they were like This guy Honestly like look We ate four people Yeah

This is why He tasted like shit Like do you know Like he tasted different Yeah A thousand percent Cause he hasn't been going to sweet green

he's been going to fucking Dunkin Donuts and then there's a lot and instead he's now he's fucking trying to get physically in shape yes dude he's eating bananas

and uh I mean you got a friend that you know if he died and it was a rugby team put him on ice lit on the fire gillis

choice meat that's a buffalo wing I wanna gnaw and he's been uh brining himself with booze and stuff. Yeah. He's like veal.

Yeah, he's doing all the heavy lifting for the prep work for us. A little piece of gillis buns. Wagyu beef. Dude, and yes, I would absolutely eat Shane Gillis first. I'm not kidding. I don't think I'd have a problem. Beautiful. If you were already dead, I wouldn't have a problem going with a little filet.

I don't know if I would be able to be the guy that cuts it up, but the guy that goes like, here, take a bite. Taste this. And doesn't tell you what it is, but then after it tells you what it is. Yeah. Also, once someone throws it on the grill,

and you're starving. And the fat's dripping into the fire. I have a Traeger. I have those smokers. Yeah, you do. Yeah. So if they made a human the fat's dripping into the fire. You're eating. I have a Traeger. I have those smokers. Yeah, you do. Yeah. So if they made a human rub, like a rub for human, I would buy that and fucking Traeger that shit right up, dude.

Yeah. It's just a Quart Noir. Yeah. Like a little. Delicious. It would have to be the best rub. It would have to be the most tasteful rub at all. I'm like, you'll eat a person.

That's how good this rub is. Face shavings from a landlord what's the name of that fucking show what is the name of that show I can't believe I hope it's beekeepers it's not beekeepers

hold it it's gonna be do we fucking this is our second podcast of the day and this is you guys the first one

I'm a fan of theirs too yellow jackets yellow jackets that's what it's called yellow jackets you were close beekeepers I knew it was in that world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Yellow Jackets is just enough more terrifying. Yeah, and it's got really- And after you, Yellow Jackets are motherfuckers. Yeah, yeah. The only hook is that that was the name of their soccer team. That's like the only reason. Everything else beyond that is like-

Dude, have you ever seen a fucking hornet? You ever get stung by a hornet? No. Which is the- Is it the hornet one that looks like it's like a robot? They put it together? Yes, dude. They're giant and they burrow underneath the ground and the only reason i got bit by a hornet i used to land playground oh yeah so you stir up their shit zap them yeah throw these you throw this fucking sound down in their little bunker in their bedroom

basically getting woken up by a helicopter out front and then they would come out like i'm gonna fuck you up a hornet sting not since i heard that that some of them kill i don't i don't know that's in japan killer bees yeah no the killer hornets killer hornets yeah you ever see what they do to fucking like the uh swarms of bees and other they cut their heads off yeah they bite their heads off and they consume them all but but they'll take out like thousands of them. Wait, the queen does it, right? Or everyone just... No, just regular hornets. It's like the purge.

Killer hornets, they'll come in and like, there's only like five or ten of them, but they're fucking ninjas. Wow. And they'll just come in and destroy entire... Yeah. What's a bulb that houses all the honey and stuff? A bee's nest?

The bulb? Yeah, a hornet's nest. The hive? The hive. Oh, yeah. Look at you, you fuck. The bo's nest? The bulb? Yeah, a hornet's nest. The hive? The hive. Oh, yeah. Look at you, you fuck. The boob. You just missed on the go.

What's the fucking thing? The best part is I condescendingly said a bee's nest. The bees hang out. The social club where they all hang out. Yeah. It is kind of like a social club. You have to be moving for bees. Yep.

Well, this is what I'm saying. You get tired after doing two podcasts. Two podcasts is too much. My dad had like three kids at my social. Yeah. VFW for bees. Yep. Well, this is what I'm saying. You get tired after doing two podcasts. Two podcasts is too much. My dad had like three kids at my age. Yeah. 15 to like nine. I was telling him. You work a full-time job.

I get two hours of comedy. I'm like, what is this? Yeah. What are we doing? And I'm like late. And I'm just like, you know. Can't find Park? Yeah.

I'm like, I had to mentally prepare for this because like a day and a half ago. Dude, I thought for sure you were canceling. No, no. I mean, I would have totally had I known you were going to be so cool about canceling. As soon as I did my first lap around, I couldn't find a spot. I was like, hey, man, it didn't work out this week. I'll see you next time. We'll come back next week.

If you didn't jump in the car, I probably would have been like, you want to see me outside? Yeah, no, I'm looking. Yep. No, it's not working seen me outside Yeah no I'm looking Yep Nah it's not working out Alright I'm out of here I gotta go I'll tell you what We would have took that couple

Put them on the couch And be like So what are you looking for I don't know I mean you guys They probably would have been Funnier than I am No way dude

Honestly I meant to say this I went downstairs To check Marisol's apartment I went outside And that dude Closed the door behind us And I was just stuck out there in this.

Oh, because he was already in here. How did he get in the main door? Wait, so you were locked out of here? Yeah, they rang the doorbell. I answered and they were like, is there an open house? And I was like, I don't think so.

Nobody's here except for us and we're not leaving. So then I went outside. I was like, it's got to be the downstairs apartment. I went outside and he just closed the door behind us. And then I was like It's gotta be the downstairs apartment I went outside And he just closed the door Behind us

And then I was like Fuck it's Fucking freezing I hope they're finding a spot Yeah dude And I didn't have my phone There was no way Of getting in touch with you

I was just like Well I'm either gonna die Or It's the coldest day Of like In like Seven years here It sucks

It's ever I know It's fucking ever by the way you got to meet them though that's kind of cool like it's like an interview your neighbors before you know they may not you know you could call this guy down and be like now these well once they watch our podcast i'm like let's look somewhere else yeah yeah we don't need that you you were so bad at selling it too me yeah you were like they were like have you ever this is the podcast and he was like all right what's it called you're like Have you ever met Chris? It's just a podcast And he was like

Alright, what's it called? You're like, I don't know It's something It's new He's like, it's called It's called Stuff Island He asked three times Yeah, he's like

Is there a name of it? You're like, it's fucking Come on I don't know, man You probably don't even want The first couple aren't even that good You're like, what? I don't know

I feel guilty I know, dude hate i feel like i feel like look if it's good people will know about it yes it'll find them i know i hate that feeling too dude i hate it do it i do it with people like hey what do you do i make it up not because i'm like i just don't want to like i don't know who you you are. And that's like, oh, fuck. Oh, God. Dude. And now we both have to look up who I am. I don't want to fucking do it.

I don't want to do it. I don't. I don't. I sell low-end commercial real estate outside of Chicago. And that's it. A thousand percent. I can't. I don't want to have to do it.

I don't like it. Dude. Because it's an accidental, like, it's going to start a conversation. Yeah. About something you don't want to talk about. And I listen to these. And some people are into, I'm not into conversations like that. No, dude. I hate when an Uber driver gives you like a fucked up cold open.

Like, once I sat in an Uber and the dude was like, how was your day? I was like, good. How was yours? You know, like, was like good how was yours you know like i do i do a how is yours just like that and this is this is what he says to me and i was furious he was like not bad just got my kid back oh christ that's all he wants to talk are you fucking kidding me now i gotta ask yeah i would have been like i've got three back last week but i gotta return these emails right now so don't don't dare stop yeah my ass tumors dude i don't know what i i that click i clicked the the you know hearing impaired that's it you just click that thing on or whatever and that's it somebody wrote an article about it and now every single one of them has this hearing

impaired great feature it's like who cares doesn't that tell you something yes doesn't that tell you And that's it. Somebody wrote an article about it. And now every single one of them has this hearing impaired feature. Who cares? Doesn't that tell you something? Yes. Doesn't that tell you something? Shut the fuck up. Yes. We're fine tuning.

The feedback's coming in. If 85% of the customers, I know it's not 85% of people can't hear. I really know like three people in my life with hearing problems. Yeah. That's it. I know a lot of other people. And the rest of them hear fine. So that's it.

They're telling you right now how to fix the fucking problem. Don't talk to people. That's what we liked about cabs. Nobody wanted to talk to a cab driver. Well, you couldn't back then. Well, you didn't want. They were having their own conversation

with whatever land they were coming from. And so they didn't have time for you. You didn't have time. It was didn't have time it was it was a service they would lobby to thicken the glass it's the thing of like the ride share comes from the

we're neighbors I will help you out and you help me out but in the meantime do we have to talk yeah we have to fucking chat about it I also do that so

funny that you thought the thick in the glass was to shut the door it's a dual purpose instead of getting robbed yeah yeah wait you thought it was to make it so that-

No, I'm saying that's how they pitched it. I was making a joke. All right, all right. I'm sorry. Now I'm going to hell. My feet are going to hell to the fire. You seriously thought that's because they just didn't want to hear you talk? Dude, I want to mention this.

So the last time I saw you was at Skank Fest. Oh, yeah. Prior to that was Buffalo. Which was like 10 years ago. Six, but that's close. Feels like 10. Feels like 150 years ago. Wow.

And Buffalo. I'll start Buffalo. No, the Skankfest thing. So I was excited to see it. Yeah. But the first time I laid eyes on Skankfest, we were going from one room to another room, and Chris and I just dropped mushrooms.

Oh, really? Yeah. There's a mushroom story on this podcast that started this whole thing off. I didn't realize you guys were... I didn't... Dude, we had taken... So when I opened...

We had taken just a cap and a stem and thought we were going to strip a little bit. How'd you find drugs at Skankfest? Dude we had taken So when I opened We had taken just a cap and a stem Uh huh And like Thought we were gonna like Oh let's trip a little bit How'd you find drugs at Skankfest? I looked at someone Yeah I said hi to someone

It was impossible Almost to get out of there Without doing it It was Granted it's you pussy I just put acid on the back of your neck Yes dude What the fuck

Yes So we It hit And then the door opened. And we talked about this exact moment already on the podcast, but I didn't say your name. Uh-huh. And I opened the door, and you were sitting on the green room couch. You were with like a fucking, I think it was, who was in the room?

I feel like there was a ton of people. I feel like Eddie Pepitone was in there. Yeah, it was like a- Jessica Curson. It was one of the headlining nights for all you big cats. And I opened the door, or he opens the door, goes first.

I'm second. And I just see you like, you just like kind of whipped over like this. Yeah. And you're the only eyes I saw. And this is just after shit started going bananas. Damn. And I was like, oh no.

And I just walked this way because I knew I would embarrass myself in that moment. Oh yeah. Because I'd seen you in six fucking years. their shit started going bananas damn and i was like oh no and i just walked this way because i knew i would embarrass myself in that moment because i'd seen you six fucking years and then the rest of the like day and a half before i saw you again on site i was like he hates me hates me i fuck he thinks i bailed on him and i just created this whole falsehood of like i fucked up i should have said hi dude she said hi do you even remember any of you even remember seeing that of course what i do well i don't remember exactly how you remember it but i do remember going back to my room and crying myself to sleep when he just when he just

like what is it punches pilot when he's like i don't know who jesus is like you sure you don't know that guy is like i've never seen him before in my life i i looked at you and I said, that's Tommy Pope. I haven't seen him in a long, long time. I'm sure we could Oh, and he just turned away and that's it. There he goes. Also, our Buffalo week was fucking great. I opened for him in Buffalo and there's not much to do in

Buffalo. There's nothing to do. Well, it depends what time of year, I guess. I mean, every time I've gone every time I've gone. Yeah. I've gone, it's terrible. Although, yeah, if I can get like a game, if there's a day hockey game or something, I'll do that. And then they built that casino across the street. Well, it takes a while for like...

The casino, I don't think, was there. No, it was not. It was not. They didn't even have the... I think they just got the stadium up for the... Yeah, it was like, yeah. There was no entertainment anywhere. A shittier Buffalo, if you can imagine that.

Yeah, the coolest part about being there is you'd be like oh it smells like Trix or something it's like General Mills General Mills is right next door yeah

oh my god it smells like that cereal it does though I guess I'll go back to the hotel and fucking jerk off and go to sleep yeah

that's really welcome to Buffalo now you're Pavlov's dog every time you you're like Trix you to beat off Jesus It's four o'clock in the afternoon

My nephew's eating tricks I got to fucking hammer out Yeah no General Mills is there And that's it And they got the Buffalo Braves They had a baseball team Have you ever gone on summer

They have that So I don't remember If it was Saturday night Or Friday night Do you remember this story We went to the bar Yeah we found I don't remember which night was Saturday night or Friday night. Do you remember this story? We went to the bar. Yeah, we found out. I don't remember which night it was, though.

Yeah. It must have been, whatever. It was definitely Friday or Saturday, because Thursday night, I didn't fuck with you at all. Yeah. Because I didn't know you. You were crushing in the league. You know what? I was filming a special, and like two weeks after, like two weeks, so I was getting ready

for that. So I was on like that sort of like, I know this hour works kick, but I'm also sort of like in the kind of like fine tuning and mentally like trying to figure out what's what. Yeah. So like, yeah, the first night, but then like after that,

I was like, Oh, I know this thing works. You don't know how you're going to mesh with, yeah. With the headliner. And also I'm not one to be like prying. And he was lying on a couch like this with his headphones in.

And I walked in and he was like, he immediately looked at me like, yeah. was like i'm high i'm time then i just shut the door i was like do not fuck with that dude he's he's serious do not fuck with him he's in his own yeah and then we hit it off too tiny to be yeah yeah yeah it's like one door so anyway the second show's over friday night or saturday night we find this fucking dive and i mean like dive it's a real it was a real dive it's not like a bar it's buffalo so i don't have to explain the second show's over, Friday night or Saturday night, we find this fucking dive. And I mean like dive. It was. It was a real dive.

It's not like a bar. It's Buffalo. So I don't have to explain this. It's a shithole bar with shithole people. And it was perfect. Because we didn't want to go anywhere around that area or whatever. And we started throwing darts. And we get approached by a couple locals.

And the guy's like, you want to play darts? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I looked at him. Yeah, we were all right with it. Let's play some darts and we get we get approached by a couple locals and the guy's like you want to play darts and i was like yeah yeah i looked at him yeah we were all right with it yeah let's play some darts yeah we want to fit in yeah the first game we're fucking cruising we're just cruising second game what was we're playing we're playing bull right yeah i don't remember i didn't remember the story till you reminded me it's gang fest yeah Yeah, okay. Let me fucking remind you. And this is also why I got weird about the first time I saw you. So what's it called?

Cricket? Cricket, yeah. So we're playing cricket. Yeah, you got to knock out all the things. Yeah, and we're smoking, dude. We're just like, fuck, we're on point. 18th triple. Yeah, dude.

No joke. Going for the 18. Oops, I hit the 15 triple. Big fucking deal. Knocked that off the board. Like after the first couple of those throws, we stopped like giving high fives we're just like nice give me yeah like it was just like fucking in motion and the second game the guy's like you want to put some money down and then i looked at him i was like oh fuck these guys are hustling this

this is their bar they knew everybody they were like k carol do more miller lights like it was like he would scream that From the dartboard It was like This is their little den Of garbage And The second game

The boys were still Fucking dealing We were dealing Yeah fucking Lacing them But now They're catching up So it's close

It's going neck and neck Are you playing open Or you have to go in order No open Do you remember Yeah no you gotta Open You can go any number you want.

You can get all the three bulls. All right. I always leave the bulls for last because I don't like to fuck with that. And you're not supposed to. I think you're supposed to go bull first in the off chance it hits one of the numbers on the outskirts. If it's open, for sure. Yeah, yeah, you're supposed to do that. But I was very confident from the previous game.

And this is how they get you, these little hustlers. And we get down to basically even. We need two bulls. They have two bulls. We have one. One open. We have one. Yeah.

And it's our last group toss. Dude, when I tell you, this is one of the greatest. Is there a bigger moment? Successful moments of my fucking life, dude. I'm not kidding you. This is etched in my memory forever he hits a fucking red or green i don't know if it was me or you it was it was a green red combo back to back needed one more bull to knock these cocksuckers off boom Boom. Dude, I leapt into his arms.

When I say, when I say, we won the Stanley Cup. When they, if the Bills win the Super Bowl, they will not party and celebrate the World League. They will not celebrate like that. Yeah.

Dude, I literally jumped in his arms and I'm like, like this way, front. Dude. We're like jumping and doing circles.

This dude was furious. He tried to fight us. Yeah. He tried to fight us. And because we showed, we did not mean to do what we did, but that's why we celebrated the way that we did. Yeah.

And all of it bothered the fuck out of him. Right now, this dude is still cleaning his gun about these two city sleepers that came to my town and took out my dart dude. And yeah, and it's like, you know, we didn't really, I don't think we hung for too much longer after that but it was remarkable that was the way the weekend went you go in a hostile territory you pull out a win like that what's better dude there's nothing better i went home that may be a bubble hockey win so

as a feature i was getting paid uh fifty thousand dollars yeah don't fucking talk yeah i'm talking about this yeah a hundred bucks a show it's getting six hundred dollars for the weekend and you have to find your own lodging so i was i found the cheapest lodging that was was not far away oh my god you stayed in like a hellhole it was an old convent yes an old convent that was renovated but the a nun still ran it. What got you more turned on, that or the airport? Dude, at five in the morning, so we'd get in at like three, four in the morning. At five, you'd hear a bucket on wheels like a fucking horror movie. Going down marble floors like ours

and just hear, and it would go, and just go down the entire length of the hallway. And I would just sit there. And I have to sleep with a noisemaker. It has to be like a powerful fan or some shit to block out my own bullshit. And I can just hear this woman getting closer and closer to my fucking door with this mop. And you could see like the hairs of the mop swing under the uncut door.

It was just the scariest fucking shit. You sure it wasn't her pussy? Dragging on the floor? I was wearing a turtleneck that night, dude. Anyway, that was the only night I slept contently because I was like, that was the greatest moment of my fucking life, winning darts like that.

It was unbelievable. I mean, yeah. To do something in someone else's house like that as well, and not get fucking beat up about it. Did you guys have to skate? Or did you walk out of there on the skates? No, I think it was like a thing where we were sort of like, we didn't Fonzie our way out of it.

We weren't like, we're too cool for this fucking place. No, no, no, no. I think that's why we stuck around for probably one or two more beers. So that didn't look weird. And we had pickup trucks chasing us down a fucking alley. Dude, that city, I've been to a couple bars there. There's this place, Mother's, that's, I've been to a couple bars there. There's this place, Mother's,

that's open late night. They do food and stuff. One time I was eating and Jack Eichel, he's a hockey player up there, he bought me dinner. I had no idea he was in the bar. That was like the second or third time,

but nothing's ever been as cool as fucking Plow. I'm not a dart player at all. I don't even play. That was the exciting part about it. But, I go to a green room. But,

I'm an athlete. Yeah. You're also bringing that energy to it. You're like, I don't even play. That was the exciting part about it. But, like if I go to a green room. But, I'm an athlete. Yeah. But if I get. You're also bringing that energy to it. You're like, I don't even play before. The only time I played, like I,

I, when I shot Mall Cop, we were in Boston for four months. And so, after like the first week, they figured out, we were shooting in a mall. But,

there was, did you know that? The whole thing takes place in a mall. Is there a cop? That's weird. Yeah, this cop, he fucking patrol that the whole thing takes place in a mall? That's weird. Yeah, this cop, he fucking patrols the whole mall, if you believe it, one person. I wouldn't be able to build a studio. We were shooting out, like we were staying downtown Boston.

We were shooting like at a mall like 20 minutes away. And they realized after the first week that shooting with Kevin during the day wasn't probably the best idea because, you know, we would shut down a part of the mall. But like the rest of the mall, people would staring looking down there's a pretty big mall like two floors so then they were like all right what we'll do is we'll bring kevin in like 4 4 30 people start to wean out and then we'll have him shoot his stuff with you guys send you home and then he does all his like you know stuff at night when no one's there so basically our schedule turned into noon to like seven o'clock. Greatest work hours ever.

Because we got back to the hotel, shower, eat dinner. And then me and Kier O'Donnell went to this fucking bar in Boston every night. Hanging out, drinking beers, hanging out. Before you know it, they have darts. We'd start to just play darts. Then the next night, we'd play a little more. The next thing you know, we'd watch people play. A month into the movie shoot, Kier and I are now signed up for this Bars tournament.

And we not only played the tournament. We did all right. We didn't win. We competed and finished. Like, the movie finished. We were like, when's the movie finished? Because we have a tournament to end. It was like it became as important as the movie doing well. You start fucking up lines so they have to reshoot.

It was like we always always like sometimes it was like all right we're gonna run to like kevin's gotta do this thing so we're gonna flip flop scenes flip flop scenes i'm like whoa whoa whoa i've got to be at the bar by nine okay so i don't know what kevin's got going on in his life but these fucking darts aren't gonna shoot themselves like fucking money do you get the pain after like like if you throw for two hours do you get this i i probably throw wrong but i just fucking i go risk yeah dude i'm a wrister i'm a wrister beer palms i'm a jump shooter so everything in my life comes from this motion right here just flick that wrist and watch the ball go in my brother here should not move my brother's best friend, RIP, taught me how to throw a dart.

And we did ecstasy. Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania. Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania. Yeah, Polish American Club. Okay. We took ecstasy in a Polish American Club. We went back to his apartment, which is around the corner. And downstairs, dude, he was the best.

He had a fucking wall that looked like the forest. And then we would just smoke golf balls into the drywall. that was like our warm-up for like a sports night that's a good idea yeah smoke him into the fucking just fucking ripping holes into the drywall because it looked like a fairway yeah so anyway it's a mall there's a cop sorry we're gonna cut that so we the the fucking thing starts Starts hitting He's telling me how to throw a dart He's like you don't

You don't go forward You have to You have to change your Your foot position So that you take out All your hips And your Your knee movement

So just like you said All you're doing is positioning This From a 12 o'clock To a 6 o'clock To a 3 o'clock To a 9 o'clock It's the same exact strength

Yep Every number So that every time It never changes whereas before if you throw a dart you're facing as opposed to basically you throw like this as opposed to this you're shutting all that off yeah you're you're stopping your lower body from moving yeah he was putting chalk marks on the board i was like two or three pills of xcn he would take the tip of a chalk and put it in either the thick part, the double or the triple. Really? I'm not kidding you.

For 20, 30 minutes straight. Just hitting the fucking chalk. Just dealing. Wow. Life changer. And you were more impressed with my performance then. I was.

You should be, dude. I was, dude. Remember I sent you like six photos for like three weeks. But then, remember? Remember? The second time I saw you When we actually talked At Skank Fest

You weren't on any drugs I was doing Matt and Shane's podcast I like ran into you And I was like I'll talk to you later And then a day and a half Goes by there

But no drugs though That time right No Okay No that was sober What did I call you No nothing I mean

You almost threw me Off the balcony No it's It's like wild. By the way, that's where I saw Saget that night, too. I heard. Yeah. Yeah, I heard. He came the next day, too.

I didn't see him at all that night. Yeah. Fuck. I think he might have been in there. Yeah, no, that was. He did Ari's podcast. Probably. Is that where you saw him?

That's where I saw him that day. I think it was the next day. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, dude. That's fucked up. It really is. Fuck.

I hate this shit. Did you know him? Because not really. really i mean but you knew him the way like you know like the comedy story come in say hello he's fucking nice and cool like not one of those people you're like oh fuck you know yeah some of the old timers show up and you're like god almighty yeah yeah he was always like awesome you can't talk about any bad stories right i mean i don't have any stories really with him no not with him i mean like dudes that you're like oh fuck i mean there's some of these fucking guys used to show up like they were still like 78 or 83 you know age no like 1983 it was like oh you know like they were the hot shit yeah yeah and like they're you know and the complaining about not getting spots well, why am I not getting spots? Well, you close with singing Walking in Memphis.

I mean, I don't know what you want me to fucking tell you. You were in a movie in the 80s that was huge. I'm not going to say the guy's name, Barry Diamond, but it's like, give me a fucking break. You sing Walking in Memphis now. That's how he closes it. Not as a joke. Wait, no, genuinely singing? Genuinely sang the fucking song.

Oh, no, man. Yeah. Did he do a good job? And then four non-blondes. If I say hey, yeah, yeah. No. I'm not kidding, Tommy. But what was the purpose of this?

Nothing. To sell albums that he would stand outside and sell the album then outside and the fucking in the, you know, where you walk in and buy the tickets. Wait, wait, wait. Is this like a dual album where he's singing genuinely and then also there's comedy? I don't know.

I never asked him about the album, but I always assumed the fucking singing was to sell the album. He didn't do any, I mean, he did a little jokes in the beginning,

but I'm like, if this is a comedy album, what the fuck are you singing for? Right. Oh my God. Dude, yeah. Did he change the lyrics at all?

Just. No, he sang the songs like that was, he was there to do. Yeah. Straight up, it... Yeah, so, like... He didn't change the lyrics at all? Just... No! He sang the songs like that was... He was there to do. Yeah. Straight up karaoke. Karaoke, yes. With a...

You know, the sound guy would play, like, the backing track. Yeah. And that, you know, he would bring for him. The first night of Skankfest was the karaoke night, where it was, like, a hodgepodge group of comics and some hardcore fans, and that's where we got the mushers. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, that rule, that was fun it was fun but if someone was doing that as their act

oh yeah you'd kill them in an alley did you any of your family think you were at astroland my mom the next yes she's like are you okay and i was like kind of yeah why like what you know what do you mean normal or yeah and then uh she's like this dickhead italian she's like you're at that festival in houston right i was like yes sir i am i'm like i am here she's like whoa how many i mean they was i just started on the news and i was like what the fuck you know yeah i didn't know anything else was going on yeah i only did because we walked the streets and saw all the installations they had going up. I only saw people in the hotel with the lanyards around them. You know, like, I just thought they were all Skankfest people.

You mean on... Wow. Like, they have a lot of Asian fans, these Legion of Skanks. I've never seen so many Asian people before. Well, it's clearly, you know, a mixed bag of fans that would never be at Skankfest. When it got canceled on Saturday, all the hotels

and bars were packed with all these kids that were... Oh, it was supposed to be at Astroland? Yeah, it was Friday, Saturday, and Skankfest

started Thursday. And then when the thing happened Friday night, Saturday was canceled. They canceled the rest of the shows. Well, they weren't all packed, the bars.

There were like 10 or 12 people missing. Yeah. You know? Yep. It's tough weren't all packed, the bars. There were like 10 or 12 people missing. Yeah. You know? Yep. It's tough. Yeah. You gotta do it.

You gotta do it. I'm thinking to myself, I had no idea this thing was going on there. And I'm going, I was proud of Skank Fest. And I was like, you drew against 100,000 people at Astroland. And I was like oh shit and then Travis Scott is done now he's not even I don't think he's allowed to

perform anymore is that true no I mean I don't think he has since then well they canceled the tour yeah well he's probably gonna start a new album he can't yeah but I mean like the album there's

no reason to what like I guess like to when though I guess the lawsuit is over the lawsuit was like three billion dollars to all it's not done yet either crazy yeah it's gonna last for years is he exposed to that or is that just i don't know it's a live nation they said like yeah whatever the people they said uh they said they were the way he reacted when first responders were there telling him to stop the music, stop

enticing these people to come forward, stop going towards the front row, which still had a gap, but at the same time he had no... You can't possibly know the severity of the situation. I think he's incited it before. That was their problem with it. He's been like, come on, we can push the limits of this shit. I think he also

did interrupt his set A couple times To like be like Hey those are paramedics Can you just Really Let them go To get him through

Yeah there was a couple TMZ videos Yeah I think it was bad I think he fucked up Yeah Oh man I think he fucked up Kind of bad

Yeah the first responders Couldn't get through Yeah They would just like Cut him off But you know Who knows Good thing he's got

That Kardashian money To lean back on Yeah dude He's fine He put those Anchor babies In Kendall Jenner Or whatever her name is

Yeah Is that the only one That doesn't look like her Kylie Yeah she's Whatever the hot one is The hottest one Well it's in Most Natural

That's why she's beautiful Caitlyn Which is the hottest one I don't remember her name How's he doing She's great I think I don't know Caitlyn Jenner

Yeah She's not even the top. I don't know. Caitlyn Jenner? Yeah. She's not even the top. I find her charming. Top five. You know who the top is right now? The one on Jeopardy. The who? Amy.

You watch Jeopardy? Amy Schneider. She's a transsexual. Oh, you mean the hottest trans? I mean, not physically hottest, but she's so hot right now. People are talking about pop culture-wise. She's won 30 in a row. 30 Jeopardys.

30 Jeopardys in a row. She's up to over a million dollars. I have not seen this. She's lights out. I'm getting in. Dude, I'm in on that. Dude, I watch Jeopardy every night. Yeah.

I don't know. Can we edit that out, too? I'd rather have said the n-word than say that anyway but i love it so 45 and then he said 64 i was like sitting there and i'm like i'm watching and i'm like man this woman is not attractive and then i like she kept winning when you found like you know you were like i think i know but i want to wait till fucking homeboy you know ken jennings says it first yeah and then you know the news came out women's history but i'm saying like did they address they didn't address not yet

and you would think 28 conversations you know they have to have those little fucking rights 28 times they don't push that on them because then it's a whole nother agenda they're gonna have to like i would battle it no no they do it like when i was on my little league team like there's been some stuff about like like, you know, like. So she's saying it openly. She's saying, like, you know. Like, clearly. Yeah, like, clearly.

Because you guys aren't talking about it. I'm going to make it apparent to the point where you have to talk about it. Yeah, but I mean, like, no one's been like, what, what, what. You know, like, he hasn't got, like. I think if she wins, like, 50, you have to get to the point where it's like, do you have nuts still? Like, you know, like. Yeah. Do you still have nuts?

Yeah. Because. Is your piece. They've got to smuggle it into the. Like, what are you looking to get? Like, you know, do you still have nuts? Yeah. Is your piece. They've got to smuggle it into the. Like, what are you looking to get? Like, how far are you going into? Like, because, you know, and you don't have to do it as crass as I just did. Yeah, it's not weightlifting. He'll do it Ken Jennings way, you know.

Just make it one of the categories. Yes. Are you going to? And then, like, for 200, cut your dick off. You see that T-Bone playing rugby and just smoking girls? No. Oh, it's unbelievable. But she's playing with girls.

Yeah. But she was born a guy. It's the only problem I have. It's the only problem you could possibly have. I think, yeah. I mean, it's like you're going to compete against. Yeah. And there's another one that broke the deadlift record.

That's never been. Was she in the Olympics? She definitely had testosterone. She's probably the Was she in the Olympics? She definitely had... She's probably the only one with testosterone in her the whole life. It wasn't Olympic. It may have been trials

or something, but... Yeah, it's all gonna get... She was like, yeah, I'll join this fucking league. Yeah. And then just broke everything. Dude, let me tell you something. I'll go into the WNBA right now.

I still have it. Here's my point. You and I have thrown a couple of wigs and we're playing the dart leagues in Great Britain for the ladies. Did you ever watch it? 480!

It's so fucking psyched. Did you ever watch it? I can get it. 340! And it's the fattest slovenly dudes ever. And they are fucking money. They hold pints.

Yeah. And there's no room in the in like the triple category for a third dart and there's like and you ever a bit yeah even deadly accurate they don't

celebrate as much as bowlers do I love I love the fucking yeah the brashness of bowlers now yeah the one that goes fucking crazy I'm the best I am yeah like who

do you think you are I am he brings it to like the wrestling level yeah like maybe there's a dark guy out there that brings it to the wrestling level. We definitely did. Yeah. If it's missing, we'll fill that void right now.

We'll be like the British Bulldogs and fucking come out there. Tag team. Fucking intercontinental champs. Yes, dude. Fuck. Yes, dude. Dude, I literally wrapped my legs around you like one of those rubber duckies. Yeah.

They thought we were going to fuck, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would have. We were close to it. Pick three like that? Yeah, dude.

In Buffalo? In Buffalo. Yeah. Away. It was an away playoff game, dude. We didn't even know the board. In the snow. And these guys are trying to fucking shark him.

Was that new cork? I didn't even ask him. Is that seasoned cork? Were they feather darts or was it the metal ones? Bro, I didn't even remember this happened until you told me. Okay? You told me we got abducted by these guys. If you told me we lost and they beat us up,

I'd be like, fuck you. That was the worst night of my life. Yeah, I fucking ruled, dude. Fuck yeah, man. I'm glad we got to reconnect, though. Yes, dude. Yeah, now you're stuck. No, I'm fine.

Does that thing open up? I just looked at it for a second. was like waiting stuff like Ellen show like you gonna pop out Gillis is gonna pop out of that Jesus you somehow managed to kick the camera yeah that's why I removed the carpet because he would push the ottoman oh into the camera somehow figure this I'm a way are we still in it yeah he's somehow figured it out. Are we still in it? Yeah. He somehow figured it out. What a dork. Well, it's right next to my foot.

I was trying to show him the box that doesn't open. You didn't have to kick the camera, though. Do you want to promote anything? You want to try that again? We actually have to promote this. What is it? Upper Pass Beer Company. We don't have to promote it.

AJ, I would like to. He sent us a nice fucking... Oh, it's a case of beer? Yeah don't have to promote. AJ, I would like to. He sent us a nice fucking... Oh, it's a case of beer? Yeah, you should promote it. Yeah, dude. Fucking do rules. And Uncle Ron's Candle Company sent us some stuff, too. Nice.

Yeah, we're kicking off, dude. You don't know. We're fucking... Let me tell you something right now. We're fucking crushing. You start with cans and beer. I mean, candles and beer? Yes, dude.

The fucking sky's the limit. You have no idea. That's how Rogan started. Yes. Candles and beer. Yeah. And then next thing you Yes, dude. The fucking sky's the limit. You have no idea. That's how Rogan started. Yes. Yes. Candles and beer. Yeah. And then next thing you know, he's got a fucking empire, dude.

Human spices. Now he's selling fucking ivermectin online. He's got Joe Rogan ivermectin. You guys will get there one day, dude. You got there. You guys will get there. I'm not worried about it. We're having a fucking blast, to be honest with you.

Dude, have fun with it. That's all. I don't care what happens with it. I promote shows i have a podcast that's what i'll promote yeah say that it's called what's the odds with steve ren is easy we do it usually thursdays or fridays most times fridays because gambling we'd usually we tie into gambling now with football so uh it's easier with covid to do it later in the week closer to the fucking games we were making picks on tuesday we were doing it. Yeah. And by Thursday, we looked like assholes.

The line had fucking flipped the other way. Yes. And we're like, God damn it, the Ravens are a lot this week. Next thing you know, fucking Lamar Jackson

and Andrews is out. You know, Harbaugh's got AIDS and everyone's done and we lose by 50 points. But this is big. We talked about this very briefly

before the show started, but New York being able to bet Yeah I've already lost My first bet Yeah It's fucking huge Yeah In a good way

In a bad way For a lot of people It was always a hassle I could always do The Draft Kings Or like I do the You know fantasy

And stuff like that That was always legal I don't know how They got the loophole Through that But they did And then You know now

With the sports book As of Saturday It's's like, fuck. Anytime. Literally last night, I was like seeing, I was like, oh, the game starts in like two minutes. Alabama and the over. Give me fucking 100 bucks. Let me take home 380.

Bingo, bango. And I fucking lost. Fucking week one, down in the dumps. Yeah, dude, but that's a bad start For other reasons Like college football You know You think Alabama's

Gonna win no matter what They dominate the I don't I don't fuck with college football Because of that reason I don't I couldn't fuck with Any of this right now

With COVID and stuff Like I don't know how you How you Like I'm making Kind of what I feel But like It doesn't matter If the best player

Can't play that day Yeah Are you a Giants fan? Yeah Oh I'm making kind of what I feel, but, like, it doesn't matter if the best player can't play that day. Yeah. Are you a Giants fan? Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry, dude. I didn't want to end like that. I know, but. What is Giants?

Dude, you know what? Honestly, I'm going to tell you something right now, and I don't even give a fuck if you end this, if you beat me up. But I didn't realize on Sunday that the fucking Eagles had already made the playoffs. I thought they had to beat the fucking Cowboys to make the playoffs. And the fact that they were already in made me hate the Giants even more. I go, I think the Eagles are the fucking worst. Okay? They don't deserve.

They are. I'm looking at the Eagles like at least the Eagles are around in the NFC East to make us look fucking. And they make the fucking playoffs. And we got to sit here mired in shit. And they went and fired fucking... Oh, no. I'm sorry.

They didn't fire him. He resigned. The cunt resigned. He should be taken out and beaten with fucking sticks. And the fact that the Eagles are in the playoffs, good luck. Steve. Yeah, what did you think of that? Can you sneak on 39?

You know what I smell in the air when you look this angry and upset? What? Fruit loops. Yeah, I know. I'm going to jerk off in the air when you look this angry and upset? What? Fruit loops. Yeah, I know. I'm going to jerk off in the fucking corner over here. That looks like a pretty nice area to do it. Yeah, it is. Get Wi-Fi over there. First of all, I won't get clean.

No, but I... Yeah, I'm a Giants fan. It sucks. What's the next steps? Do you like Daniel Jones? No. Get rid of everyone, dude. Get rid of the coach.

That's a start. Hire the coach that's a that's a star higher the Seattle's blowing up yeah we'll take the GM and Russell Wilson for one of our first draft picks and you can have everybody else yeah start over here make the Seahawks East or yeah build a defense I thought they were gonna be great to be

honest and let Russell Wilson right off into the Giants I thought they were gonna beat the fuck out of us consistently I had good feelings about Danieliel jones so do i well he's daniel jones is like three out of ten he has spectacular games yeah yeah but then you watch justin herbert yeah we could have had you know i'm saying like that's the point like they're all the people you could have had but getting back to my overall point if if aaron rogers and the packers are in the Super Bowl like everybody thinks they're going to be, are you still going to take them over the Chiefs if that day Aaron Rodgers pops positive and he can't play? That's what I'm saying.

You can make all the bets you want. Yeah. Let me tell you something. But it could all go away. I'm not taking the fucking Packers if Locke or whatever the fucking backup's name is. Yeah, Andrew. These teams are going to be 100% COVID free for the playoffs. 100%.

I have a feeling. Really? You don't think they're going to? No, I think there's probably an agreement among the league members going like, let's, even if you have one, it's not fair to drop 10 players. Then we can't move the schedule. Because now you're starting to impede upon March Madness, right? It's not going. No one's pushing college basketball right now and that's their big bang month is the middle of february all the way through march yep this is when football has to

shut the fuck up and go away if you keep doing this you're gonna have to then reschedule like nba did where it's like all right tuesday's game is now sunday when they're important games yeah but the real hush hush yeah but the NFL knows that they like we'll play games in July and you'll watch them yeah I know but I know I'm saying I don't think they want to do that they don't definitely don't want to they definitely don't want to post the revenues

I do know that they're looking for because it's in LA this year they are looking at like alternative sites because if they can't do it a full capacity in LA then it's like we're not doing Super Bowl bowl there and of course jerry jones is like come on down here every yeah yeah if you if you have a uh orgy that you you know we're planning on doing but then it got call jerry jones he'll let you do it down in that fucking ship down there his oil tycoon tees yeah oh that whole fucking all of it i can't wait till that guy i'm gonna fucking tailgate that i have a lot

of owners i want dead before him mostly james dolan but most of the most of them own the teams i love but dude if you gave me a genie georgia who'd be dead if you gave me genie no no i my one wish would be for steinbrenner to come back to life so I could see him die a second time. Oh my God. That's for that giant, that giant eagle's comment. He's obviously a Yankee fan. This is, I wanted to see if he was a Yankee or a Met fan.

Yeah. The man. He's a Yankee fan. I was so excited to come back. I was like, to run the fucking ship again, to get this, to straighten this fucking thing out. And you're like,

to die again. And you don't remember who I am, dude. I get it. He ruined baseball. That motherfucker ruined baseball. Who ruined baseball? Steinbrenner. He tried.

He tried to ruin baseball. He did. But then it ruined itself. Yeah, well, a little bit. Steroids. Steroids was the best part of it. That helped itself out. A hundred percent. Dude, I want a metal bat. Steroids. Steroids was the best part of it. That helped itself out. 100%.

Dude, I won a metal bat home run derby. Really? Yes. Can you imagine? What was this? Steroids? Yes, dude. Launch him out of the fucking stadium.

What were you on, Winstroll? Wait, did you say you want a metal bat? Yeah, the pros. I thought you said I want to. I go, what were you on, Winstroll? Were you on the cream and the clear? Yeah, the pros. I thought you said I won too. I go, were you on Winstrel? Were you on the cream and the clear? No, no, no. No, hear me out.

You know how like the three-point contest for the NBA? Yeah. They have the money ball after the 10th ball. You know what I mean? The last round of the pitching for a professional home run derby, medal bat time. You line up the nets all the way down the line all the way to the

fair foul pole and let these boys fucking rip you know what the best part is here's the best part just don't let Tommy do it right he pitches it to the

major league baseball right in the skull and then all of a sudden you know when they have all those kids stay shagged fly balls that don't make it one kid's gonna come

running up the middle and fucking Aaron Judge is gonna pull one with a fucking clay bat or a de-marini that this guy just got off fucking

the back of a boat and the kid's head is gonna shoot off and go over the fence and they're gonna count it as a home run it would be a complete JFK in the back

of the fucking in Dallas like their heads would explode but you gotta take the kids off, put a second net for the pitcher. It's going the reverse now, dude. My son's travel baseball.

He's 10. Out of every five tournaments, one or two of them is wooden bats. And that's the way it should be. Yeah, I agree. I agree. You got to get them used to that now. Yeah, yeah.

Also, the medals, it's reasonable for like building confidence and stuff oh dude there's there are bats eastern mako which this is the most specific thing you want to get fucking specific on this podcast again this you buy a 2015 eastern mako they're called carrots go look one up when you're done on sidelineswap.com that's not a plug we don't fucking allow that we don't allow allow that. But they go for 220 bucks. The year after, it's like 100. But there was something about whatever they made that year,

the Eastern Mako's carrots because they're orange. They look like – I had one of those. My son – I had to go get one for 10U, 11U because that's going to be the bad. It's like a bongo batter. And you buy – I bought it online used because –

and the guys are like, look, this's got good a lot of hits left in it and i could probably sell mine after he's done as long as he doesn't fuck it up for like 250 bucks i'm not kidding you it's got a lot of hits left yeah i used that bright orange bat was my first home run really yeah the two very first home run i think it was like six or seven live pitch eastern 2015 eastern makos look them up they're called carrots holy fuck and they they just maybe It was like six or seven live pitch. Eastern 2015. Eastern Makos. Look them up. They're called carrots.

Holy fuck. And they just. Maybe it was just a spray paint bat. Everyone's got one. Like all. If you can find them, they're fucking great. It's all about the bat. Yeah.

Building confidence at that level. When you get to the bottom line. You got to hit. Right. You got to hit. You got to hit. Just like I hit bullseyes, dude. You guys. We. What do you mean? I hit bullseyes, dude. You guys.

We. What do you mean? We hit bullseyes. We. Elite athletes. I honestly thought we lost when he was starting the story. I don't remember. I don't know.

You remember that celebration though, I bet. Oh, my God. I remember celebrating with you. I remember getting fucked up. We got fucked up. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember you. Yeah. I was fucking. We didn't get together. We never worked in Philly at the Helium philly ever i don't think so i felt like we did once but i remember every time i went down there after yeah you were the name i would use for all the features that would come down yeah dog now we're getting there yeah all the features that the test latitude i needed out of you i'm trying to remember yeah i don't remember any other names well we're gonna bring you back we gotta got to close off because I got to piss.

All right. Yeah. You want to stick around for the pay? Give me a month to find parking and I'll come back. No, he's got to go home. Feed the kids. Yeah. I'm going to...

I don't know when this is coming out. Tomorrow. Tomorrow? Can I plug some dates? Yes, dude. That's why I yelled at me. Well, I plugged the podcast, but I don't get too greedy. I'm not affiliated

with Sideline Swap at all I'm just saying you know it's a good website but no I'm at the House of Comedy in Bloomington, Minnesota this weekend

fucking six degrees is the high yeah I never leave the mall did you ever go to that place it's in the Mall of America you never leave the fucking mall you stay in the

the hotel's in the mall it's got like rides and shit yeah the Hooters is in the mall everything hotels in the mall yeah the Hooters in the mall everything's in the mall so it's gonna be I'm going to see one movie on Friday then I'm gonna go fucking watch the football on Saturday and I'm out on Sunday uh next you watching the Eagles on Sunday or are you leaving no I'll be here I'll watch yeah um yeah then the weekend after I'm in uh in Charlotte Comedy Zone weekend after that

Marco Island oh no Naples, Florida off the hook nice and then Denver in February so yeah SteveRanazese.com

yeah fuck yeah downtown nice I appreciate it this is fun man hell yeah