Stuff Island - Stuff Island #100 - Broken Dawgs w/ Shane Gillis

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en - Follow Shane on IG: https://www.instagram.com/shanemgillis/ Go to hellofresh.com/50STUFFISLAND and use code 50stuffisland for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've literally never played Pickleball. We got you. You're in the Netflix. What? We got you. The thank yous are corrected. Let's go! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Yeah, I also forgot my niece.

You got your niece? I forgot my niece, Aaliyah. Yeah. That was a real big one. Well, at first, I didn't know. Like, last year, you gave a thank you to your close friends. Yeah. And this year, they did an alphabetical order.

I was like, Ahamed Weinberg. I loved it, kid. I love Ahamed. Shout was like Ahamed Weinberg I loved it kid I love Ahamed I love that boy it was I just said whoever opened yeah no I can't it's funny

because I didn't want to deal with all that sitting there and being like who are my who do I care about top 8 these are my... Who do I care about? It's like a fucking MySpace. Yeah. Top eight or whatever. These are my close friends. If you didn't make the list, sorry. Yeah, it's better to create a rule. I was more focused on getting Dr. Adolph.

That was my one priority. Did they have to approve that? Is that what you were worried about? I don't know. Yeah. That'd be funny if that was the only thing cut out of the special. Yeah, you said gay and **** 900 times. But that's Dr. Adolph. Adolph. We just don't know. Yeah. That'd be funny if that was the only thing cut out of the special. Yeah, you said gay and **** 900 times.

But this Dr. Adolf. We just don't need it. The joke's not worth it. And then I was like, maybe Chris will be upset. You know what I mean? Like violently, you know. No, I wasn't upset at all. I do think about my dad watching the whole special and going, that was great.

And then just seeing that and going. Doc, does he know you? Just for one second. Has he ever seen you wear that Yankee jersey? What? It just says Dr. Adolph on it. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's nothing worse than someone asking me,

how did you get that name? It's like, I don't, I mean. I'm just waiting for somebody to take a random wild pick at you at a game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the dumbest name I can think of what's the dumbest name Adolf Spong that might have been like episode one we were drunk

and watching that Hitler movie sick and you went how much how much how much if he's like if I give you a hundred thousand dollars

would you change your middle name to Adolf and I went done done done and you were like

uh what about Dr. Adolf and I was like done yeah he's done yeah

let me send it real quick when you're like a hundred grand yes whatever you want whatever you want well this is episode Done. Yeah, he's done. Yeah, let me send it real quick. When you're like, 100 grand? Yes. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Well, this is episode 100, Chase. Yes, yes.

And we are close friends. Stuff Island. Stuff Island. Bud. Bud Stuff. Bud Stuff Island. I'm sure that's where that came from. Drunk Island.

Toasted Island. Stuffed Island. Man, dude, we're fucking... It's 1.30 We're good He thought I was pouring Fucking Jägermeister What do you got?

It's just cold brew Oh nice Yeah Yeah well it comes in A Jägermeister like Container Yeah maybe I hide it Maybe I switch them out

And it's not unreasonable For me to think that You're getting fucked up That's unreasonable Him drinking fucking Jäger At 1.30 No I thought it was Yeah but just drinking Jäger

Yeah it's the worst Liquor there is No no I didn't think it was Jäger There just drinking Jaeger. Yeah, it's the worst liquor there is. No, no. I didn't think it was Jaeger. There's like some shot... Fernette. Fernette, yeah, yeah. Just settling down

with a glass of Fireball. Oh, it's been a long day. I just got back from the gym. Chugging Fireball. One of my buddies had that. That was his problem. He was an alcoholic and Fireball was his...

Choice? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah, he was drinking it by the bottle, like secretly. But I will say this. People think it's very heavy. It's not. It's only 30% alcohol, I think.

I don't know, but it's the sugar and everything in it. It fucked him up, yeah. And you're going to stink like Fireball. It's not like a discreet... Yeah. Can't hide it. Just secretly drinking in your room. Fireball.

That's a depressing thing. Is he alive? Yeah. Is he still boozing on Fireball? I don't know what he's doing. He comes and goes.

Sometimes I'll see him and he's not drinking and he's doing great. Yeah. Other times I see him and he's back. He's going to have those black ankles.

You ever see these fat guys at baseball games? They got fat ankles or black ankles. It's like a dermatitis thing or it's like he's on diabetes he's on the fat leg yeah yeah like start your skin just starts dying they don't wear pants they're just fat dudes with black ankles i know well you got to let it air it out i'm sure the doctor's like you need air on that i think you just pop it and they say yeah it's a liquid out sure the doctor's like, you need air on that. I think you just pop it and it's a liquid out. Yeah. Because it's from

not doing shit. It's just an accumulation of fluids. It's fireball. It's fireball. It's boxed wine. It's a sack of wine in there. It's fucking yeah. I found an old box of wine under my bed once. No, I was just, it's not. I wasn't hiding it.

You were hiding it. I wasn't hiding it. Yeah, you're hiding it from us. You sneak booze out of there. I was not. You don't want this guy to get a sponge and get it. No, dude, box wines, it's not safe upstairs. No. He don't fuck with box wine, though.

I don't have to hide it. I was watching a movie. I used to do that. What's that thing where you and your friends all stand around a trash can and chug a bag of wine? You like slap it? Yeah. I don't know why a trash can's involved.

Because you have to puke. Oh. Yeah. You basically do it until someone throws up. Oh, no. So you stand around a trash bag with a bag in it and you're just chugging fucking Franzia. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And you slap the bag. Yeah, slap the bag's fun. What's the slap the bag thing? It's just chugging a bag of wine. my god yeah and you slap the bag yeah slap the bag what's the slap the bag thing it's just chugging a bag of wine yeah you have to slap you slap somebody else's bag no yeah i don't even know everybody says slap the bag you just slap it while someone's drinking it's one of those things where it's like you're at a party freshman year of college someone can tell you any set of rules and you're like cool cool. So I want to play slap the bag until you throw up? Jesus Christ, dude.

Just vomit red. It is 9-11, too. It is 9-11. Episode 100 on 9-11 is pretty fitting. That is. That worked out nice. You were here episode 1 and then episode 100. And then maybe 50 others you poked your fucking head in. Yeah.

I swear to God, that is an accident. Yeah. Now, you hear his yucking around. Sometimes I'll walk in and be like, oh, fuck, my bad. It fucks people up. You know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you do it like a Terminator.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are also people that don't really know you, and you come in with like that Frankenstein look, like you're pissed off at them. You can see their color change. Like did I piss him did I say something wrong oh shit he knows I trashed him yeah I didn't have his back years ago try to take it in stride four years ago what moved today SNL was it today four years 9-11 let's go yeah that was when they announced it. Tomorrow is the true day of reckoning.

Tomorrow's Tower 7. Tomorrow's Tower 7. Tomorrow's a rough one. Well, now you got all Australian, all the gays after you. So that's like two nice bundles of people that are probably your fans. The Australians aren't after me. That's fake. That's fake news.

Yeah. Yeah. Who wrote it up? The article? I don't know. I have no idea. Somebody posted like all the experts. You're a news. Yeah? Yeah. Who wrote it up, the article? I don't know. I have no idea. I saw somebody posting all the exports. You were close.

Yeah. Yeah, somebody responded. It was like, actually, we export ore and camels. It's like, all right, so nothing? Dude, what are you talking about? I know. And they clearly just went to Wikipedia to look up Australian exports. I actually went to Wikipedia before I said the joke.

Really? To make sure I was right. That they don't export it. That they don't really do shit. Yeah, yeah. They're fun. I actually went to Wikipedia before I said the joke. Really? To make sure I was right. That they don't really do shit. They're fun. I like it. That's what I said. I like that they're not doing anything. Also, imagine taking that serious. Yeah. Like, just being like, the fuck? We've been doing so much lately. That was the one I was like,

oh, nice. Yeah. That they got me on Australia. Yeah. It could have been way worse. There was some other ones in that list that I didn't believe. There was like some medical things. Oh, yeah. They say they invented Wi-Fi. I don't think an Australian invented Wi-Fi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me use that Wi-Fi right now. There's no way. It's like notoriously bad for Wi-Fi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way. It's like notoriously bad for Wi-Fi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way. Yeah, they got a little bit of like actually a black person invented that. I mean, for sure.

You're like, did they though? Maybe the Bluetooth earpiece. Vic Hayes is often called the head of Wi-Fi. Or the father, so that's not good. That sounds like an Australian. Vic Hayes? Vic. Yeah, or a sick first base walking me on Hayes was my jam dude in the 80s Vaughn Hayes first base Phillies Connors on Hayes yeah he was born in Surabaya the Dutch East Indies in 1941 it's getting close to Australia.

That's it. Anyway, sorry to... He invented Wi-Fi? He's considered the father of Wi-Fi. I think it's one of those things. It's like Al Gore invented the internet? Yeah, it's like the internet where it's like a bunch of people contributed. Yeah.

What else you guys got? Talk about it. Well, we were talking before about how I was watching the women's doubles championship for the US Open

and I texted Tommy and was like we could beat them if we trained if we trained we could beat them Australia was doing something

you got them 91 the NCR corporation in the Netherlands along with AT&T, invented the precursor. At about the same time in Australia, a prototype test for a wireless local area network was developed by a team of researchers

from the radiophysics division of the... Boy, who gives a fuck? But Jack O'Sullivan in Australia. Jack O'Sullivan? Jack O'Sullivan. Oh, that's great. Jack O. The fucking Jack O's up to no good.

I wish I could look at porn anyway. Fuck. I bet that's a race to space kind of thing. It's already started somewhere, and they're like, we can... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing it too. It's like, no, you're not. No, you're not.

You're never going to get there. Yeah. The boys are doing it. You think you could beat women in pickleball? Like the ones that are playing it? No, no. U.S. Open tennis. Yeah, which is even worse. There's no fucking way. There's no way. That you could beat them

in tennis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't even play tennis. He doubles tennis. You wouldn't return a serve. You wouldn't return one serve. I think I could get a serve. No, you couldn't. I think I could return it. It was also like 6 p.m., so I was like, he's fucking pickling somewhere. I think I could get a serve. No, you couldn't. It was also like 6 p.m., so I was like, he's fucking pink. I was.

You were hammered watching. Were you at the U.S. Open? I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was watching it on TV. You were watching women's doubles hammered. And you were like, I could beat them? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good God. Just the most misogynistic point. Just because the women were like, I got to text Tommy. We could beat these bitches. Yeah, they were playing bad. Then in the second set, I was like, they could take us for sure.

They started to pick up their game. They would kill you. Yeah, they would destroy me. I bet you could return a serve out of 50. You can get over the net in play it's hard to hit a tennis ball I would have to sleep it in play it's very hard I would have to go in that fast I don't think you could how fast they go they'll go up to like 120 110 I think that's men they're like they're better 149 now right yeah this

year kid did it twice in one was Andy Rod was Andy Roddick? He was in the 140s. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. So I guess, yeah, women are probably 110. Yeah, I think it is. 115. 105. That's a fucking...

You could never do that. That's a C, dude. If it touched your racket, it would just launch. No. 50 times? By the time it gets to your racket, it slows down to like 50. No, it doesn't. Off the bounce?

Off the bounce, dude, it loses so much speed off the bounce. It's 150 like over the net. They're clocking that speed at the net? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Once it hits the ground, it's... You don't know this, though. I do, I do. You're just assuming this.

You think you can return a professional women's serve? For sure, yeah. Out of how many? Out of 50? You think you can return a professional women's shirt? For sure. Yeah. Out of how many? Out of 50? You think you're getting one in play? Easily. Dude.

All right. I bet you we can set that up. Easily. No trick stuff. What do you mean? They can't do any trick stuff. Like what? Like putting all kinds of spit on it and stuff.

Why? Just right down the gut? Yeah, yeah. Like they can't fuck with my head. Just fucking. Give me the goods. Yeah, yeah. Do you think you could hit a fastball?

Like just a straight up. You're getting nothing but fastballs. Nothing but fastballs. Almost the same spot every time. I mean, yeah. Strike zone. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm not having to guess the pitch.

It's just a fastball. You got to guess location a little. Okay.. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm not having to guess the pitch. It's just a fastball. You got to guess location a little. Okay. But just fastballs. Nah, dude. One chin music? That would be tough. That would be tough.

You're not settling in. You can't return a serve. I think they said it's like you have like three hundredths of a second to even react to it. Yeah, yeah. I don't. Yeah, yeah. That would be. And in that time, they're looking at the ball.

But if the guy bounced it. Cricket. I could get it off the bounce. I think I could hit a cricket pitch. Remember that dude in Ireland that was giving us the cricket pitch? Yeah, yeah, he was saying these cricket guys throw the ball like 100 miles an hour. I was like, there's no way.

No, they don't. No. They could. These sports, these European sports, are made up. Yeah. It's bullshit. Dude, it goes like 40 miles an hour. Yeah. On a hop. It's bullshit. Dude, it goes like

40 miles an hour. Yeah. On a hop. It's crap. To a stick. And then nothing happens. And then an Indian guy barehands it.

Yeah. It's like, this can't be that hard. Yeah. Indian dudes are getting web gems. It's supposed to be the easiest sport possible. Dude, Indian web gems

is so fun. I could beat any Indian in doubles. For sure. Man, I will try and set up a lady, some butch just firing pills at you. 110 miles an hour. No, you couldn't.

I could. I'm going to get the strongest lesbian I can find and just hit fucking heaters at you. Do I get any kind of warm-up? Like practicing returning serves? Yeah, yeah. No. Then that takes it out of the 50. Okay. Yeah, I think I could do it.

I think I could return a professional woman's serve. Yeah. Pickleball, though. I think pickleball... If we trained in pickleball for six months, I think we could beat high-end doubles. think pickleball... It's arrogant. I think if we trained in pickleball for six months, I think we could beat high-end doubles. In pickleball?

If you trained for six months? Yeah. I think you'd have a chance. Yeah. At the highest level. Again, the likelihood of... You guys would never train for pickleball. No.

Once a Jaeger wears off, you need a couple swings. My morning bottle of Jaeger. I don't know if I'm doing it. The opening pitch at a Phillies game, I wouldn't train. I would just go out there and blow my arm out. No, no, no, no. No, it's like golf. Zero chance we're doing it.

You'll find yourself so much easier and smoother if you have a couple pops. You won't think about it too much. You'll be loose. You got to be loose in the head to loosen the arm. I don't think I'm going to do it. Do it. What are you talking about? You texted me saying we got to work on throws.

Let's go to a park. If we get the offer, we're going to go to a park. But I also want to work on. Oh, no, I'm in trouble. I want you to step off and gun one to first. That's what I want. That would be sick. That is the move. The opening pitch.

A little pick off. That's so funny. Get booed. I think they would instinctively boo the crowd. I could sneak over to first base with a mitt. I could act like I'm a little slow. I brought a mitt to the game to catch me outfield. Get the fanatic over at first and just dunk him.

Record an error as an opening pitch. Dude, I always rewatch that dude getting hit in the nuts. The fat guy filming? Was it 50 Cent? It's incredible. Who was the throw? Just some random guy? Just some random guy. Just a random guy.

You got one. I saw yours. Yours was great. He caught one in the Eagles game. What? Fat guy filming got hit in the nuts again. I sent it to you, but I don't think you saw it. You might have been fucked up. In the field goal.

You might have been fucked up. I was probably pissed that you didn't show up yesterday. You sent me a gif of just, I don't know what was going on. But the kick that shanked off the post went right to a cameraman's nuts. Oh, that's what that post is about. How did you notice that? I was too busy slapping him in the back of the head. The opening pitch guy getting hit in the balls is one of the greatest. It beats every lady fall.

Have you ever seen it? It's just a fat guy holding a camera. And the pitch is so bad. And it arcs it so far. Just right in the fucking balls. It's like one of those cartoon games where you have to like, the perfect angle of a landmine.

And then the guy's face, the pitcher was like. Dude, it was 30 feet beyond the plate I'm so sorry It was a crazy drop It was like a brother-in-law He had to hit the nuts There had to be some sort of relation To get it that far over the plate

Square in the dong I went golfing the other day With my brother and his friends For some fantasy draft Oh, you did that? Yeah There's no way you played 36, right?

We played 27. Cause it was, there was a thunderstorm. Thank God. Yeah, dude. But we were on the second, like after the first 18,

we were out there on the second nine. It was like raining. And the guy who like sponsored kind of the whole trip was like smoking a cigar, having a drink, just chilling in the, he had like a four person fucking golf cart. And, was like smoking a cigar, having a drink, just chilling in the, he had like a four-person fucking golf cart. And I was like just, they were way up by the green.

Why? What? That's like a presidential cart? Yeah, well, there was five of us, so we needed like, or six of us maybe. And we were the only ones on the course. And I fucking, I took like a mulligan on just like a chip shot and I gunned one dude yeah yeah dude he was the cart was angled like this and I was back here it went right it hit the steering wheel oh shit was he in it

and I'm so not used to playing golf like instead of yelling for i'm going whoa oh baby dude i ever tell you this story when i flipped a golf cart down a steep hill no i went to a dude i went to a bachelor party for this my brother's best friend and there's this one hill that it's technically 150 yards. Yeah. But it's a 30-yard chip because it goes straight down. And the cart path goes like this in circles. But it was back when you could fuck with the governor.

You pick the seat up. You take a broken tee. And you block the governor so it doesn't control the speed. Oh, no. So when you're going downhill, you go as fast as you can. And then you put it neutral. And downhill goes even faster. And at the bottom of the green, the carts were packed up, because the next D-Box was

over this way. My buddy Kooch is driving. I'm on the passenger side, and he goes, I forget what he was saying. He's like, pull the lever, pull the lever. And then we had no more space. He had to go up on this ramp to get around around the cart because we couldn't stop in time. The cart flipped like three times. I still have a rattle on my...

Oh, you got like fucked up. Oh, yeah, we got fucked up. I was like in the middle and the cart was going around. I panicked so hard that I just went, I smell gas. I smell gas, but it's an electric fucking cart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all busting my tits, dude. We push this fucking cart over.

The top is like squished on all bars. And then we're like buzzing down the 18th. Three miles an hour. And you know, like you're supposed to pull up your cart. You return the cart. Take the key out. So we're like. No one noticed. No one knew that's all imagine the

fucking young guy has to walk out just like it's going on with the governor there's a $30,000 cart wrecked. Those carts have no turn. Like, if you turn, they just flip. It's so fun. Dude, one of my favorite videos to watch is carts getting fucking tossed. Yeah, it's fun. Drunk dudes thinking they're going to ramp or something. Just death.

That's the only part of golf I like. Just drinking and driving a cart. Look at that. That shit rules. See what we just picked up? What? It's a huge 7.5x7.5 golf net. Oh, you guys got one of those things? that. That shit rules. See what we just picked up? What? It's a huge seven and a half by seven and a half. Oh, you guys got one of those things?

Yeah. A golf thing forward for the backyard? You guys. Dude. You guys have been here in this apartment together, and you're just coming up with a new accent. Me? That nobody has.

Don't fucking say I am. Say golf. Golf. Gaff. Golf. Golf. Golf. He says golf. It's golf. It's golf say I am. Say golf. Golf. Gaff. Golf. Golf. Golf. He says golf.

It's golf. It's golf. It's not gaff. It's gaff. Gaff. No, he's been saying weird shit forever, though. That's his backyard. He's fucked up.

Forward. We were hanging out. He was like, we're going to get one of these golf things for the backyard. No. Backyard. Backyard. For the backyard. Backyard.

We haven't golfed yet. Backyard. Backyard. Backyard. Forward. Dude, it fucked us up like a half hour. Say backyard. Backyard. For the backyard. Backyard. Forward. Dude, it fucked this up like a half hour. Say backyard. Backyard. And then we started saying it wrong.

We're like, you say backyard. Wait. You're saying it wrong. Backyard. Yeah, the turf comes tomorrow. And then we're going to, Gerben talked us into getting that little digital shows

like your ball spin. Yeah. Your arc. That's awesome. Yeah. We'll put it in the backyard for the. Your arc. That's awesome. Yeah. I'm going to put it in the backyard for the last four weeks. That's awesome. Before it gets winter time.

Yeah, true. Then I'll bring it here. You can get it out for the fall. That'll be nice. Oh, yeah. I just ordered a bag. I went fucking ham. Dude, if the winter is as mild as it was last year, you could be out there for a while.

You could be out there hitting balls. Dude, my dad, unless there's snow on the course, my dad goes. He brings a fucking hammer. I posted something once. Him and his boys bring hammers and nails. For the tee? For the tee box, because it's so hard. Jesus.

So they hammer nail in first and then put the tee in that nail hole. Oh, they hate their wives. They hate their wives. Yeah. Like his brother and his boys play 36 holes and then do a fantasy draft. Dude. Just get a divorce. Get a divorce. Yeah, yeah, yeah draft. Dude, just get a divorce. Get a divorce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get the divorce. We were talking to this guy. He was saying that he would be like, over the pandemic and stuff, he would be like, because you're not allowed to use your cell phone at the course. Yeah. So it's an excuse also that you can't text your wife or respond. Ooh.

So he was saying that he would, he would put on a suit and be like, babe, I got to go to the office. Oh my God. Go there, sleep, you know, just relax, watch TV. Then like put a suit back on. Wow. Oh my God. Incredible.

Hit balls. Does he have kids? I don't know. He must. Otherwise, you just got to get rid of fucking Diane. Dude, this place was fucking unbelievable, though. We would pull up to the clubhouse and, dude, guys would sprint out like they were an F1 pit crew and start cleaning clubs and taking trash out.

It was the nicest place I've ever been. Every room had just huge columns of M&Ms and bar nuts and goldfish. It was paradise. You liked the free snacks? Yeah, and we were just bouncing around in there, shit-faced at the end of the night, doing the draft. We were the only ones left in this smoking lounge. Dude, tell them a story about that dildo

fighting his fantasy football team. What? This dude in my brother's fantasy football league, he needed that game that got canceled when Hamlin got injured. He needed that game to win. He needed his guys just to do anything in that game, but it got canceled. Of course.

So he lost. Oh. And he threw a fit until they let him win. So they're all like, yeah, you're the champ. Oh, wow. This fucking cornball bitch. He was like, dude, I would have won. I would have won if that game had, yeah.

Yeah, but a guy died. That's the end of the game. Yeah, I know. That if that game. Yeah. Yeah. But a guy died. That's the end of the game. That's the rules. Someone dies. You don't play the game. Yeah. Yeah. It's not any different if your player got hurt in the game and you could be like, I

would have won if that guy didn't get hurt. Yeah. He fucking dies. Heart stopped for like 30 minutes. Yeah. He died. He died. That's stopped for like 30 minutes. Yeah, he died. He died. That's fake.

That's a new fake guy? That's fake. Dude, they would spend whatever it cost. Yeah. The NFL to protect that brand. Yeah, yeah. They probably paid off. They papered all their family.

They brought a new fucking... I'm going to go see him tonight. Yeah, he's on the Bills still. I'm going to the Bills Jets tonight. I'll verify. Scratch him. That's how the studios work. Scratch his skin.

I'm going to scratch him. I'm going to run on theets tonight. I'll verify. Scratch him. That's how the studios work. Scratch his skin. I'm going to scratch him. I'm going to run on the field and stab him. Yeah. I'm going to say Alex Jones told me to stab Lamar Hamlin. I love the idea of thinking that I could catch him to stab him and that I wouldn't get jumped and beaten to death, dude. I could see you doing like a locker room post like post-game speech for the Bills.

Yeah, bro. Get the boys going. You guys are great. Ah, you fucking... The biggest, this is what we got. We got a Gabe Davis touchdown, and I need him to do this celebration. Hey, guys.

Welcome to the 100th episode. Thank you so much for being a part of this. If you're a patron, we love you even more, but if you're just a viewer, if I can come along for the next 100 episodes, subscribe, share, tell your fucking friends. But if you want to get some cooking vids and some behind the scenes stuff, sign up for our Patreon. Hi, I'm Tommy Pope. And this episode was brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh. What is HelloFresh?

You know how hard it is to do ad reads alone? That's why you guys are just staring at me because, yes, this sucks. It's very awkward. Take your time. No, I'm fucking taking your time. I'd appreciate it if you didn't stare at me like that. I don't know.

We don't want to go home. When it comes to options. This episode's brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh. You get farm-f fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your front doorstep you skip trips to the grocery store and count on hello fresh to make some home cooking easy fun and affordable that's why it's america's number one meal kit and i will attest to this i made chris on look at dish do a

hello fresh and i gotta say he killed, and the dish was pretty damn good. My close isn't here doing an ad read. It's very bad, but I will say I stand behind HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 50stuffisland and use code 50stuffisland. That's 5-0 stuffisland for 50% off plus 15% off your next two months. It's pretty great. You go to HelloFresh.com slash 50stuffisland and use code 50stuffisland for 50% off

plus 15% off the next two months and impress all the ladies in your life. Also, this Friday is another look at dish coming out, sponsored by Hero Bread. You're going to like it. We're doing fried chicken sandwiches. Buffalo fried chicken sandwiches. A couple different ways.

American style with a slice of American. And then Buffalo style, of course, for football season. Go fucking birds. Also, we got birch dropped today. Birch dropped today. We got four new shirts. We got two of these boys, classics. Then we got two graphic tees.

One's a look at dish tee. One's a stuff island tee. We still have these boys classics. Then we got two graphic tees. One's a look at this tee. One's a stuff island tee. We still have these cord hats around. And then we got two of these bad boys. So hop on over. Thank you. So thank you for your support and love and all your harassment online. It's affected me adversely, but also it's pretty rewarding to watch you guys call me gay week in and week out.

So, thank you. I've been bothering him. I got a touchdown celebration for him. What, you made one for him? No, it's just a fat kid on Instagram that does a funny, he goes. That's it, that's it. All I want is Gabe to score a goal. Wait. Hold on, I'll show you. Is he special?

Is he special needs? Yeah, he's a special boy. Did you see that video I sent you of that fat kid pulling? Yes, yes. Hitting drills in the backyard. That was firing me up, dude. Yes, I found him. What?

This is the bro. Yes, yes, hitting drills in the backyard, that was firing me up, dude. Yes, I found him. What? This is the bro. Oh, he's not, he's not special needs, he's just fat and dumb. That's the TD. That's such an easy celebration. Score a touchdown, walk up to the camera.

If Gabe does that, I'll suck him. I will suck him, dude. What's the odds on the first touchdown? First, he had pretty good odds there. Overall, he's going to score. First is probably, what, 1,400? Yeah, it was a lot. Overall, not the best. He's going to score. First is probably what, 1,400? Yeah, it was a lot. It might have been more.

Would you put it right now? I put 500 on him to score first touchdown. What's that payout, 2,500? I think I win eight grand. Really? Oh, it's plus 1,400. Yeah, it's a lot.

Jesus. That's huge. I mean, if he scores the first touchdown and did you text him that yet? yeah I've done it like every week for the last five weeks

if you score you have to do it he's like shut up shut up shut up let's see yeah I saw him post underneath your special

like you gotta get a day job or some shit oh yeah that was it's another fun inside joke it's a current thing on the internet it's one of the funniest Yeah, I saw him post underneath your special, like, you got to get a day job or some shit. Oh, yeah, that was... It's another fun inside joke. It's a current thing on the internet. It's one of the funniest things you can find is find any little kid posting a video and just read the comments. Yeah.

Everybody's just saying, I'm going to fucking rape you. What? I'm saying it wrong, but it's something along those lines. It's so fucking funny. It's just they get spammed with pieces of shit. Yeah. Like, I'm going to fucking groom you, bro. I'm going to fucking...

Oh, my God. And like little fat kids doing stand-up. It's like, I better never catch you on stage, motherfucker. They also call him Lil N-Word, which I cannot repeat. Oh, I've seen some of these. It's as fun as it gets. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just a growing trend with fucking animals. Yeah, it's a nice internet trend right now, yeah. I cannot repeat. Oh, I've seen some of these. It's as fun as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's just a growing trend with fucking animals. Yeah, it's a nice internet trend right now, yeah. I like that. If a kid tries to post a video, everyone just crushes them. I'm going to eat your ass. Yeah, I'm going to eat this kid's ass. Yeah. I'm going to tongue your asshole.

It's as good as it gets. You're going to get all of my power. I'm going to toss your salad. A hundred percent. Little bro. Get a fucking job, lil bro. Dude.

Holy shit. That's exciting. That's fucking crazy. That's why every show now is like, is this real? What do you mean? Like,

is it cake? Is this, was the start of just every show, every like, instead of like asking trivia questions like who wants to be

a millionaire or whatever, like it's just going to be, is this real? Did you see if fucking David Spade has a new show where it's just like, is this... Did someone actually make this or did we make it?

Jesus Christ. That's the show? How is he still getting fucking shows? It's a suitcase with a deer head on it. David Spade? Is this real? David Spade rules. I know he rules.

I like Spade. No, I know he does, but the lead of a show? Yeah. Like a... His last show I thought was good. What was his last show? His Comedy Central show was good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it? It was just talk. It was basically like tough crowd. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. He would do like monologue-y kind of shit

and then he would have comics on and just fucking... Yeah. That I get. That I get. Him, the host of Is It Real? What the fuck are we doing i mean that was i'm sure they're giving him a fat bag of money to be like is he real yeah it's more hammered is he real i'd be sick he takes his pads off he's just a jack white dude wearing a black mask that That'd be awesome. That's how the studios

figured out. They didn't do themselves any favors, though. With the DeMar Hamlin's reel. Remember the first game back? It was like a blizzard, and he was up in the box, and they filmed it from across, and it was just a silhouette of a guy going, DeMar Hamlin's alive.

I was like, well, now I don't think he is. I thought this whole thing was bullshit. Put that, like, offensive coordinator camera there where you could just see his face. Yeah, you just saw his silhouette. And there was no one else in the box. Yeah. And he didn't talk to anybody for, like, it was like a fucking, what's his face? Jamie Foxx.

Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx was gone for, like, four months. Nobody talked about it. And then it was just like Jamie Foxx number two. Is he back? Thank you. He's back. Nobody knows.

I think he was fucking... I think he was fucked up. Yeah. In what way? I think he had... What was it? A stroke? Heart attack or something?

Yeah, I think he had a stroke. I think he had a stroke, so probably he wasn't... Talking. Talking well. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, let's not film anything. But seriously, the NFL would do anything.

If he died and never came back to life, they'd be fucked. The amount of money that motherfucker they make, dude. Oh, yeah. Anybody can get it. But that happens sometimes. It's like the CIA. They'll take you out if you're coming too close to Goodell. I mean, especially on the heels of the Vax.

Yeah, clearly. Clearly. I mean, the government and the NFL were like, no, he's alive. Yeah. Yeah. His heart's fine I mean, the government and the NFL were like, no, he's alive. Yeah. Yeah, his heart's fine. That used to happen all the time. I remember growing up

playing lacrosse, like goalies would get hit in the chest and just drop. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

Die? Yeah. Jesus. Well, they say like your heart, when it stops, it gets hit. It's like the perfect timing.

Yeah, yeah. That happens in lacrosse? Oh, yeah. Goalies get hit right in the chest. Those dudes don't wear shit. Yeah, they wear like a shitty catcher's... Yeah. Yeah. That happens in lacrosse? Oh, yeah. Goalies get hit right in the chest. Those dudes don't wear shit. Yeah, they wear like a shitty catcher's... Yeah.

Yeah. The fucking Indians dress more in cricket. These dudes taking fucking cement balls 180 miles an hour. In cricket, they just dress like a water polo. Or like a horse polo. It's strange, dude. Just a guy without a horse. I feel like they don't...

They dress like they wear like a polo helmet. And a polo shoulder pads and a polo helmet and a polo shoulder pads and a polo. Literally a polo. They dress like they rate it in an old like... Plus they'll wear like a safari hat when they're on defense.

Like an old shed just had random things in it. They're like, we want to play sports too. You know what I mean? They just grab random shit. I feel like they have like fucking like samurai forearm protectors.

Don't they have shit on their forearms? Yeah, they do. For what? Fuck that. Fuck cricket. They dress in like goalie pants. It's like a bouncing... They did say cricket rules.

I bet he does rule. I bet. I talked to some guys over there that were like, not Indian, like in England. Yeah. That were like, it actually does rule.

The guy was... He was English English wasn't he the guy talking about yeah he might he was English or Irish but yeah I think that was it would be fun because it's a full day thing

right like it's almost like going to like the Kentucky Derby or something yeah they all hate their wives too it's all day it's a universal thing escape from your wife

I mean that's what events are for yeah golf especially golf is yeah yeah they're all bitching about their wives thing. Escape from your wife. That's what events are for. Golf especially. Golf is... Yeah, they're all bitching about their wives. They say they're doing 36 holes. The beers they drink after 18,

even my pop, they're 75 years old. They smoke beers. After the front nine, they're having 27 more holes. I'm hammered by the front nine. Dude, they're serious about golf. They don't drink during the course. They just get fucking plastered afterwards. Dude, yeah, I did learn this. It's like golf is fun, but golfers suck.

Yeah. And they ruin golf. That's why I hated golf as a kid, because there's always someone trying to keep track of the score and fucking just trying to keep you moving. We're playing too slow. Calling you out for cheating. It's like, let him cheat. Dude, shut up.

Who cares? You actually shot a nine, not an eight. He's out. You're shooting 125. Dude, it matters. The foursome you bring on a course, it has to be perfect. It's like going camping without a TV. It's like those guys it has to be perfect yeah it's like going camping yeah without a tv it's like those guys you have to be friends with you just get thrown into a foursome it's

fucking hell i went with my friends they have they had a tournament and it was fun i wasn't playing i was just driving back and forth between the two groups bothering them yeah talking they got really really mad oh yeah i would hit the reverse while they're in their back or back swing they for real got furious. They started fighting, getting hammered. But a couple of the guys are fucking raging alcoholics. So like front nine, they're so good.

And their team's like definitely going to win. And then you see them on the back nine. They can't walk. Their team just blows a lead. People complaining about shit in their backswing also drives me fucking nuts. Yeah, I feel like you're...

Shut the fuck up. I feel like you'll get there, dude. You will get there. You will be well. No way. You are insane. Not my backswing. I would never.

Yeah, you will. That is you. Someone coughed in your backswing? And it's actually more distracting... Son of a... My dad always does this. Son of a bitch! Because he'll be like...

Just a random cough. Like... Yeah. Son of a bitch! You're going to do that the whole fucking day? Dude, I'd rather people be talking and have...

Then I can take as much time as I want. If people are talking and having a good time, it's like... Then I can just... I can think about this. I can relax.

Once everyone goes silent, then you're like well now I gotta fucking hurry up everyone's got to be quiet when I was a kid I took golf lessons at this country club and it wasn't the nicest it was Dillsburg Pennsylvania's I mean it's a country club actually it's just a golf course name a f name a fatter town. Range End, Dillsburg. You wouldn't say that if you've ever been to the Pickle Drop. That's the New Year's. They drop a pickle in the town square. What do you mean?

A pickle. It's Dillsburg, so they drop a big dill pickle. A giant dill pickle? Mechanicsburg drops a wrench. Oh, my God. That's fun. What do you mean? Like, instead of the ball in New York City?

Instead of the ball. It's literally a giant pickle. And there's tractor pulls. All the little fat kids have to pull tractors down the main street. Everyone's like, go! Go! The winner's like... Yeah, the winner...

Dropping a giant dill pickle is so funny. But we did this summer lessons at range end, this golf thing. And then the way it culminated was a golf. We played nine holes in front of all the parents. And I teed off first in front of everybody. That's like a recital. Literally in front of everybody. I teed off.

Dude. Just 10 feet to the right. Just straight on the ground. Terrible. Oh, my God. Missed the ball like 10 times. Dude, that's hard to do if you're straight on the ground. Oh, my God. Missed the ball like 10 times. Dude, that's hard to do if you're a good golfer. It was so embarrassing.

That happened to me at the first tee. Yeah. Fucking topped the shit out of one, like went three yards. Then I took a mulligan, chunked the shit, sprayed, like sprayed grass. I don't know why you thought you could golf. It was great. He was like, yeah, I'm going to play 36 holes. That's what I said. I was like, you can't golf. That's hard to do for anyone. You can't golf. That's great. He was like, yeah, I'm going to play 36 holes. That's what I said.

I was like, you can't golf. That's hard to do for anyone. You can't golf. That's God. I had a blast, dude. We had a Jamaican. Yeah, it's fun. Drinking is fun.

No, no, no. Hold on, hold on. It doesn't matter what you're doing. There is a point to your mentality, though. If you're playing like, I'm just going to drop seven balls here. Of course you're going to have fun for 36 holes. But if you're playing for real and everyone else is doing real score, you're not making 36 holes.

You'll kill yourself. Yeah, but that's because of the other people. People play one mulligan the entire 18, and most people don't do that. And those people are losers. I'm saying if you start to play with real golfers instead of guys that are... Nobody's a real golfer. Oh, my God. Why are you saying that?

Because he's a fucking idiot. You're playing with other dudes that are chunking it and fucking it up all the time. Yeah, but some people are actually good. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. But they're really rare.

I don't think that's true. It's not true. I think it is. I think Phil is decent. Like my dad will go play. He'll shoot like an 85. That's good. That's like,

for a man his age, that's a good fucking shot. And he's like the shitty one in the group. He plays with guys that hit like an 85. That's good. That's like... For a man his age, that's a good fucking shot. And he's like the shitty one in the group. He plays with guys that hit like 70s. Yeah. My dad's losing his power and he can't control it. He can't...

He's starting to get so fucking angry. He'll go right down the dick, but he's like, that fuck! 200 yards! That guy lost like 50! I'm like, my dad is right down the middle

of your fucking 76 years old. Yeah, yeah. Way... It's in the fairway. Beezer says he's good at golf and I'd love to see it. I could see that, actually. I'm like, dad, it's right down the middle. You're fucking 76 years old. Yeah, yeah. Way. It's in the fairway. Beezer says he's good at golf, and I'd love to see it. I could see that, actually. I'd love to see it. I could see that. That was my favorite.

You know how we all, basically the doubles, we could beat women in doubles. Yeah. Like dumb sports arguments that then you just can't let go. Yeah. Well, I can't. We were all fucked up watching X Games was on and beezer was just sitting there like i could drop in on those half pipes it was like the big ones yeah like the olympic dude they're scary it's like you cannot do it you've never seen me fucking

he was like i used to be one of the best skaters he was i guess he was good at skateboarding but still like dude that's so funny. It's that thing where he hasn't done anything athletic since he was 18. So you think that your body's built the same way? Dude, my dad hadn't played sports in 30 years. Went and played squash at some dude's birthday party. He was probably sore for a month. No, no.

First ball goes into the corner He he thinks he's playing high school basketball again Full tilt into the wall breaks every bone there was an Ambulance came the the guys Was hadn't even arrived yet. It was just like 60th birthday He thought it was like a fun joke that people did to have an ambulance there dude i'm my dad fucking i'm chewing my way i'm chewing my way to the drywall before an emt

picks me up in a squash this was non-negotiable It was like multiple compound fractures. He had to get like reconstructive elbow surgery. The first ball? Yeah. He thinks he's going to dig it out of the corner. He's never even played squash before. Why is old people getting hurt so fucking funny? I mean. It is fun.

Yeah. Just when they can't stop. Like falling? Yeah. Come on. Dude, dude. It's even funny when it happens to you.

Yeah, no. When you can't catch your feet and you keep still and just eat it into the grass. We're all drinkers here. Yeah. Oh. Dude, my brother broke...

What's worse than being that hammered where you're like... Falling? Yeah. When you're trying to take a piss and you're like... Fallen? Yeah. You're trying to take a piss. You're like... Dude.

I'm fucking... My... I lived in Roxborough. My bedroom was so, like... It was so sad. All I had was a bed, a tiny little TV stand, which is kind of like an end table.

And it had, like, a big TV, like, balancing on it. And then it had a beard trimmer. You're going through that so fucked up i have a beard trimmer on the there's only like this this much space because i had like a queen bed in a tiny room yeah there's only this much space and there's a beard trimmer always charging on in the outlet it's gotta be ready to go and it's it's gotta be ready to go you never know when you're not it's like sitting standing up like this the blades old school like this i don't know how i was backwards but i fell off off the corner this way and fell into the crack which is hard to do anyway right and i'm fucking blacked out too yeah i hit directly on

the i have a scar on my ass that's fat It's thick and it's this long I fell directly on the On the charge Fuck the pain I bled like a fucking Pink on whiskey dude Blood was everywhere and of course I tanned carpets Cause it's a fucking carpeted shithole

It looks like I murdered somebody In the corner I couldn't walk to the hospital Cause it was like five miles away I was ripped out the corner. I couldn't walk to the hospital because it was like five miles away. I was ripped out of my skull. I couldn't drive because I couldn't see. So I just got duct taped. You got duct taped your ass. And duct taped my ass, dude.

I showed my daddy. He goes, what? You're not going to be an underwear model? Rolling out of bed is the funniest thing. When you fall out of bed like a top no i was up i was standing up getting back from a bar and i fell into a tiny crack on the beard trimmer dude i remember i got one this girl i know this girl i know fell her and her friends and brothers were hammered they were just flacked out she goes up to try to go to bed, falls from the stairwell that's like two stories up, lands just straight on the floor.

Wait, in the middle? The hardwood floor, yeah. In the middle of the... Yes. She fell. She shattered her hip. Oh! She's like in her 20s, so this is very hard to do.

Oh my! She broke her arm and her hip and everything on the left side was shattered. Dude, that's Peter Griffin. They didn't know because she was blacked out and they were blacked out. They just threw her in bed. They picked her up and put her back in bed. Think of her waking up

the next day. Oh my... It's for years we've been laughing about Number one the noise she must have made when she hit the ground And then putting her in bed Sleeping for seven hours and waking up like There's nothing funnier than the sound people make When the wind knocks out of them and waking up like... Dude. There's nothing funnier than the sound people make when the wind knocks out of them.

Dude, my brother did a fucking backflip. I think I told this story before. My brother did a backflip down an alley. He was fucking nuts. He also didn't do BMX. He was like, I'm going to fucking... I can do BMX. I'm going to go off this ramp.

His buddy just built a giant ramp at the bottom of an alley and he's going full bore. It flips into the street. So we had to stop cars. He went so fast, he started to do a backflip, falls directly on his head

and breaks his collarbone. He's going... And his buddy Jody had to walk into my parents' house. And he's going... He couldn't fucking breathe. It hurts so bad. He sleeps,

goes home. Thank God my mom came home from the hospital. He just takes a nap because he's fucked up, right? Yeah. So he's like,

I'm going to lay down. My mom's like, Perfect concussion protocol. Yes. Yeah. My mom's a nurse and she's like, we got to go to the hospital.

He's like, I'm fine, I'm fine. He didn't want to go to the hospital. The doctor's like, if he, a half hour later, he would have been dead. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a chance brain was yeah

yeah dude holy shit I tore my knee and all I did I laughed it hurts so bad playing football I was just laying on the ground like it was like a mix of tears and laughter there's a very good stop laughing then I drove myself home oh there was an away game so I had to ride the bus home with a torn MCL and LCL. Isn't that weird? You can put pressure on it? No, you couldn't. It was a huge mistake.

Because then it swolled up on the car. Well, a lot of the posts... On the bus ride home, it was like this big. Yeah. And then I had to fit into a Volkswagen Jetta when we got back to the high school and drive it home. That's probably why it was weak in the first place. I was like, I think it's not that bad. The next morning I woke up, my whole leg was just black.

Dang. I was like, oh man, I think I'm done. Yeah. You're not going to see the pickle drop this year. There was footage of a guy miked up in the NFL, got the wind knocked out of him. Just going like,. And every L's buddies were like, you all right? You all right?

He's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me. And he buddies are like, you all right? You all right? He's like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just got a wing knock down on me. It was the worst when you can't stop making that noise. Well, it happens so frequently. It should be like SEAL training or like you get sprayed or like the cops get sprayed in the face

a couple of times with pepper spray so you get used to it. Like you can't just get... You're terrified. It's been a long time. sprayed in the face a couple times with pepper spray so you get used to it. Like, you can't just get... You're wind knocked out. He's terrified. I don't... It's been a long time. It hasn't happened to me in a long time.

The last time it happened to me was baseball practice indoors. Baseball, I got beamed in the back. I turned when the pitch came. It hit me right in a perfect spot in the back. It knocked the wind out of me.

I cried on the... Down the way to first base. I got my first base coach who was like, way to stay in there. I was like... Yeah, dude. I was just crying was like, way to stay in there. I was like... Yeah, dude. We had a baseball practice in the gym

because it was raining. It was a girl pitcher, by the way. Pitch must have been going 30 miles an hour. It was raining, so we had to do baseball practice in the basketball courts. And I had a glove on and we were all trying to touch rim.

So I grabbed the tip of the rim and just went, and I fell perpendicular to the earth, dude. I lost every bit of my wind. There was nothing in there, so I was going, and I was grabbing dude's ankles, thinking I'm fucking dying. I couldn't get any air in there, dude. There was a whoopee cushion squished.

I must have told you guys this. It's funny. He just DM'd me, the guy. He was on our high school basketball team. He was younger. He was like a sophomore. Basketball was warming up. I was lifting, and I came out while they were playing.

I'm friends with all of them, so I was fucking with them. And I was like, dude, do a reverse. Like, dunk, because this kid was nice. And he goes up to, he just throws down a reverse, but his legs went out. And when he reached back to catch himself it was a his arm went like that and the bone just shot straight out he just went sticking out he was like help dude that I meant the MMA fight oh that dude is Help! Help! He just started screaming out. God. Dude, that MMA fight, that dude is... Oh, that dislocated his elbow?

No, his knee went sideways. Yeah, it was a rough one. Oh, I don't think... And he just picked it up and it was dangling like a chicken wing. He's just going, ah, it's a chicken! He got taken down and his leg dislocated underneath him, so it was like real quick. Yeah, sideways. You couldn't really see it.

And then when he rolled the guy over, his leg was just hanging off. It's literally a buffalo when you take the end and just spin it. Oh my god, man. I had some wings yesterday. Wings are the best. Did you have wings yesterday? For the game? Shockingly, no. It was on the agenda. I didn't make it. I fell asleep. I was going to come out.

You said, I'm at the airport. I passed out during Sunday Night Football. You didn't sleep on the plane? I passed out during Sunday night football. You didn't sleep on the plane? I slept for like 10 minutes. Was this real fun? Yeah, one of those. Sleep apnea.

Yeah. Dude, I elbowed a little Indian kid the last time. Went from, the way home from Ireland. Wow.

It was a mom and a little Indian. Woke up and elbowed him. The Indian kid was next to me. I just wanted to like Oh yeah. I was violent winks. So I put my arms inside my shirt for like the last two hours. Good move is putting your hands

under your seatbelt. Just a little secret. Lock yourself in so you're not moving at all. That's like Chris's dad at the EMT. Get the squash. Yeah, dude, because I woke up on that same flight and just knocked everything off my tray table. Oh, yeah, dude.

He sent bottles towards me. Have you guys covered the island trip? What? Have you guys talked about it? A little bit. Not really. We tried to. We had Billy Wayne Davis on. We talked about Red Eye, and somehow we talked about the red eye for like fucking an hour straight

i don't know why yeah it was a fun trip it was fucking unbelievable no i heard you talk about on rogan i was like well we're not yeah danny the irish boy danny boy fucking that kid was incredible he was incredible truly yeah he got his ass kicked and they fucking loved it i've never met anybody like that guy. My entire life. What were you doing three years ago? Human trafficking. Human trafficking in Tijuana.

I was like, alright. It was just for the boys. Chris made a good point. Just for the lads. He's pushing Irish kids. He thought he was pushing like little boys. Oh, I thought he was

pushing Mexicans. I thought he meant the lads, like illegal Irish guys. Yes, illegal. I just thought he was illegal workers. But yeah, probably just Irish people.

Yeah, because it wouldn't make sense. Why would you get a fucking coked out Irish guy to give your Mexican friends a... Actually... Bad coyote. Not a bad...

I don't know. That was a terrible coyote. coyote I had a border patrol I'll take care of this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah That kid was dangerous. Yeah. There was a piece of me that kind of wished I tried to wrestle him. Jesus Christ. He would have killed you. Yeah, yeah. That's what happened.

I thought I could wrestle. I started fucking with Rogan after the last. He ripped my shoulder off. My shoulder was fucked. Oh, that picture? Yes. Yeah. Look at the angle of my shoulder in that.

And that was before. I was still going. I'm giving a thumbs up during that armbar. Because I was hammered. I was like, you can't. You jujitsu's gay, Joe. This is your pussy. You're just killing me, destroying me.

I was like, yeah, right. I'll never tap. I want to get knocked out. I want to totally knock me out. You're going to tap. It's so hard not to tap. I know. Because that was kind of my plan.

I was like, You're a pussy I kept fucking with him And Ari was fucking with him Ari was like Shane you're so much stronger than Joe Just stand up And he was like He's not stronger than me

It's like No shit Dude get knocked You played a knockout game Growing up What Press somebody against the wall Yeah

No I never participated I've witnessed it I've only done it once myself But my buddies Used to do it a lot And this kid Tom Fitty was fat Back then He's the reason I cut my own hair I never participated. I've witnessed it. I've only done it once myself, but my buddies used to do it a lot. And this kid, Tom Fitty, was fat back then. He's the reason I cut my own hair.

I think I told you the story, right? No, I thought the reason you cut your own hair was because you had a Vietnam vet at the local barbershop. No, yeah, it was him, but he gave everybody Tom Fitty haircut. Tom Fitty haircut was just high and tight, military, with a little bouffant right here. The guy was going senile. He'd rub his nuts on your back,

and then he'd keep going higher and higher and higher yeah and until you everybody had the same haircut in the whole shop it was like it was like a military that's nice yeah it was like a fucking marine corps shop eventually i think about that haircut every time i see it i think about doing it for me just all shaved hair. The Brazilian Ronaldo. Keep this, just a patch here. It's so simple, it looks so manageable. You would look so crazy, dude. Yeah, honestly your hair is kind of like the only, like you look like a nice guy. Yeah, yeah. If you got a crazy haircut.

That'd be full form, dude. You're already out of control. That's full form. Anyway, this kid, Fiddy. Drunk, sprinting over the wall. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut.

I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a haircut. I'm like, I'm gonna go a crazy haircut. That'd be full form, dude. You're already out of control.

That's full form. Anyway, this kid fit eat. Drunk, sprinting home from a bar. With a patch of hair. Yeah, people would get out of your way. The Serbs would love you, though. By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt this. Detroit, shithole.

It was? Yes. You're a fucking idiot. I liked it. We were talkingithole. It was? Yes. Yeah, no shit. You're a fucking idiot. I liked it. We were talking about it. He was like, Detroit's great. He also likes Indianapolis. I like Indianapolis.

I like Indianapolis. That's a drop the pickle town, dude. We stayed at the Motor City Casino in Detroit. That was where our hotel was. Oh, God. Oh. Jesus. Yeah, that was hell.

A lot of oxygen masks rolling through there? I mean, no. It was just the hood, dude. It was just scary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was... A lot of oxygen masks rolling through there? I mean, no. It was just the hood, dude. It was just... It was scary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

I mean, one of the nights I stayed there, I did stay on, like, nine-mile road somewhere, and it was bad. Oh, outside. Yeah, yeah. It was really bad. We stayed in, like, an artist commune. It was a band practice area called The Hive

that they had set up, and it was the weirdest... It sounds so shitty. It was the most... We slept in just, like, a band practice area called The Hive that they had set up. And it was the weirdest. Sounds so shitty. It was the most, we slept in just like a band practice room. And there was this guy that ran the place. Like we were all in sleeping bags like trying to go to sleep and he just came in to like talk.

And he was saying the weirdest shit. Whose place did we stay at in Boston? It was Yumi and Mackie during that Thunder Bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's, uh, whose place do we say it in Boston? It was you, me and Mackie during that Thunderbar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was that guy?

Uh, I forget his name just in his loft. Not Sam. He was a white guy. Yeah. And, uh, I feel like he didn't like me.

I, yeah, I didn't really talk to that guy that much. It was a studio. It was a, it was a studio. So we were all in in different and I was farting as loud as I could and his his bed was on like a rise yeah like a real sexual I remember that this guy's not like that thin little way was he like a manager of a club? With mosquito nets around it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I used to fuck a manager. I had sex with a manager of a comedy club. Yeah. And her apartment was fucking nuts. She had an air mattress on the floor, but then she had these princess netting thing

that she made with butterflies were stuck to it and shit. Oh my God. It was like a fucking teenager's den and then she had like bike tires with like ornaments through the thing and they were like spin on the wall it's like a fucking magician's house oh my god i know great ass anyway let's talk about this fat kid yeah so the way we used to get knocked out you breathe real heavily at like this angle seven deep breaths and then lean against the wall

and then you press their neck it was nuts until they lose consciousness well Fitty does it in this one like den this like back room like a Florida room or something and he falls sideways and smacks the back of his head, releasing 10 years of snot that was stuck in his skull.

This fucking jellyfish came down his nose, dude. It was like covering his whole, it was a... That's awesome. It was like a neti pot. Dude, it was like brain fluid. And then he came to and just starts crying. We're all cracking up. He couldn't, he was so emotional.

Where did he go? He was just so scared. I don't know. Well, he woke up with brain on his face. He didn't know how long he was out. We're all still laughing at his haircut. That scared cry is embarrassing. I went down a slide once and smashed the back of my head somehow.

Because my body went off the slide and my head hit just the end of it. I was laughing of my head somehow on the, because my body went off the slide. My head hit just the end of it. I was like laughing and I was like, my hand was dark red covered in blood. I was like, I was like ninth grade. I was like old to be crying. I got scared.

I saw some blood. I got scared. Yeah, that happened. I, when I was in, when I was in six two two adults crying when they see blood is so fucking funny i remember i when fifth grade i like cut my head open before school on an air conditioner I just walked into it you told me that this is great though yeah yeah and then I fucking I was with my buddy John Bourne remember John Bourne and uh from New Orleans oh yeah yeah and uh I was like oh fuck and I took I was winter I took my winter hat off I was like John am I bleeding and he goes no and then I just felt warm just gushed down my face and i'm like oh shit i'm covered in blood

like my whole face is just red spilling and the only people in the school at this point were the fourth grade band and i'm pounding on the doors to let me in and there's a kid coming back from the fourth like from the bathroom and he sees me in the window and just goes he's just a dude covered in blood like pounding on the door it's just a horror movie interrupting your band practice it's just the fucking kids eating tube like they're all screaming like elephant's trunks. And then my mom came up, picked me up. I got stitches and she was pissed at me because my hat didn't have a cut in it.

She thought I wasn't wearing my winter hat. She was like, I told you to put that fucking hat on. You always include a detail about your parents. Yeah. That's shitty. He needs to talk to somebody. Yeah. Usually it's mom's fault.

And then my mom was mad at me. She was furious. Yeah, you got cut your head like a fucking idiot. There's blood all over your face. I'd be mad at you today. If I came down here and you were covered in blood, I'd be like, you fucking idiot. I don't think there's a time when I can remember ever getting hurt and my dad's not, son of a bitch. Can't you just look where you're going?

And you're just like crying and bleeding. But I get it. As a dad, you're like, you're a fucking moron. Well, yeah, now it's something you've got to deal with. As a parent, you're like, oh, all right. I knew something was going to happen today. Add this to my shitty schedule. My dumb ass kid, his head's bleeding.

I'm going gotta take this fucking shit to the pizza hut. Yeah. And there was, I had a run there of just absolutely stupid. I literally,

in a four week period, in a four or five week period, I cut my head open, cut my knee open, and got pneumonia. I was, yeah, for a month and a half,

just dead. Dude, he wouldn't have made dead. I would have killed you. If I were your parents, I'd say that was it. Let him go. He got pneumonia. Dude, I would have shanked you to take a bite out of that ass

when I was hungry. His ass, yeah. Big thumper. Feed the whole family. Even as a kid, you probably didn't like that fucking ass. You never get to taste

your own meat. You know, cut a piece of yourself off and see how it... Wouldn't it be nice... Yeah. If someone made your ass as a steak and it was really good. I think it's just all fat. No. You can't eat muscle.

Why not? I think that's exactly what meat is. The steak is muscle. Not your muscle. Not human muscle. Right? By the way, I ran into this problem myself. I was like, yeah, you can't eat muscle.

Everyone was like, that's exactly what meat is. I was like, no way. I can't see it. I can't see it. It's fat. They're like, what do you think the fat is? Like a human bicep would be a nice piece of meat? Yeah.

Probably not good, but yes. Why not? Because there's not a lot of fat. I think we're designed to think it tastes bad. So we're not munching each other. So we don't eat each other. I bet you could make it good, though. I'm sure you could.

Season it up. I was asking that. White folks wouldn't. They would never put seasoning on it I was like is this lettuce can you just eat this you should eat that don't

why can't those things are looking good I'll be very upset these are looking good you got the thing in the middle now yeah the moss poles that's nice yeah remember they were

they looked like a big fucking Puerto Rican head I'm surprised that you got these things going this well they're growing nicely moss poles. That's nice. Yeah, remember they were big fucking Puerto Rican head? I'm surprised that you got these things going this well. What? They're growing nicely. Thank you, pal.

They've been here for years. They're doing good. About four, three. Yeah. A lot of fresh green shoots. They're all coming up, baby. I got to spin it.

Artie moves them every week. That's why they drop fucking leaves. He's an idiot. He doesn't know how to keep anything alive. You're ruining it. You can't be moving the fiddle anything alive. You're ruining it.

You can't be moving the fiddle every day. Why? Because it's very temperamental. They call it a teenager of plants. If it moves, it gets upset. It changes lighting. It'll start dropping leaves. It's a fucking... That's very hard to keep alive.

And new growth comes out every once, every like seven months. All right, that's going to do it for the first episode. Join the Patreon. Episode 100. What? Episode 100. Episode 100, dude. going to do it for the first episode. Join the Patreon. Episode 100. What? Episode 100, dude. You guys did it.

Yeah, I feel like I'm... The century mark. He's moving upstairs when you fuck off to Austin. I feel like a parent whose kid's going to college and high school. Now I got to get to know my wife. You're excited. That's probably why... I think your guys' relationship's going to improve drastically.

100%. Our pod's going to suck, your guys' relationship's going to improve drastically. 100%. Our pod's going to suck, though, because we're going to be happy. I don't know. Neither of you are going to be happy. I'm kidding. You're going to be miserable. I'm kidding. Yeah.

You're living right there. There's going to be some crumbs. You're going to go, fuck, it was me. It was me the whole time. These are all my issues? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, it was me. It was me the whole time. These are all my dishes? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I come down occasionally. I'll eat a hoagie down here just to liven it up. Give you some crumbs. I like that. Leave a wrapper somewhere. Yeah, leave a wrapper down here. I like that. No, the joy of cleaning the toilet and stuff like that is going to be better.

I'm worried about... Because you like cleaning for yourself. Yes. You feel like you're a piece of shit when you're cleaning for somebody who doesn't respect you. I'm worried about... Because you like cleaning for yourself. You feel like you're a piece of shit when you're cleaning for somebody who doesn't respect you. I'm worried about the winter. You're controlling the heat.

And being up there... That's tough. That is tough. That's tough, especially that bedroom up there. Yeah. That's a sauna. I want to create some type of box to put over it. You probably could.

Yeah, you could do that. That's a good idea. I bet you they do that for the... There's a lot of... I lived in two apartments where the heat never probably could. Yeah, you could do that. That's a good idea. I bet you they do that for the... There's a lot of... I lived in like two apartments where the heat never shut off. Yeah. And it was full blast because it's old water heater. Yeah, yeah. And you'd have to keep... It's 40 degrees out, 30 degrees

out. You have to keep the windows open because this heat will suck right out. Yeah. Otherwise it's fucking 150 degrees. You have to put some type of... Yeah, controlling the heat down here is... I left two messages to get new doors and a fucking vent. It's frustrating. For this WAP, but he hasn't come. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get a new thermostat, too. Yeah, we need fucking fire detectors, smoke alarms. No, we do not. Shut up, idiot. I hate smoke alarms. Shut up. He's such a moron. What if we get a fire in here?

Then we die. I'd rather die than every time you make fucking popcorn and that thing goes off. It's just like fucking get rid of it. I like it. Get rid of it. I like your intensity. I've been here 40 years and never burned alive. But I have been annoyed by smoke detectors.

Yep. I agree. A lot. Also, if you die in this apartment, you deserve it. Yeah. Yeah. You can get out. Just play in your windows.

You can jump out of this thing anywhere. Well, the fear is you die because you inhale the smoke before you know it, and you pass out, and then the flames get you. A lot of guys are passed out in this apartment. Yeah. Heavy drunk sleeps. A lot of drunk sleeps in here. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like waking up like the girl. All right. Head over to the Patreon. Oh, nice. Thank you, Shane. Hell yeah.