Stuff Island - Stuff Island #11 - dust on the mirror

Episode Date: January 21, 2022

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The truth is, I never left you All through my wild days My mad existence is it Frida tell you what if I did know that I wouldn't have Eva Eva I think is what it is that's about Madonna when she has AIDS I'm a well cultured boy yeah yeah you throw on a fucking

a turtleneck hoodie oh man boy do I shine in the arts you got the wide mouth going up there well it's it's not a turtleneck so fuck you

yeah if you're thinking that it's not a mock turtleneck you got the cold activated mountains on there like yeah i fucked with those jackets dude dude were you too young to have the uh the ski gloves that when you got in like low temperatures it would show like a certain image no but i do i do remember seeing stuff oh man it's like fucking remember they had the nfl jerseys when you'd sweat, you'd sweat,

they would make, they would like kind of change colors in certain panels? No, that's fat shaming. They, no. No, no. Certain panels would change colors. Like it wasn't just the whole thing would sweat through.

Wait, a jersey or a jacket? The jersey. Like the NFL players' jerseys. Yeah. Certain patches could get soaked and turn like a darker shade so all the linemen were just a different shade i don't i don't i don't know if it was by design but i always thought it looked cool i was like because then you get like you could tell the difference between

like the pussies who weren't playing and the dudes actually grinding putting the effort out yeah especially contract yeah you know contract upping year yeah if you're not working hard enough if you're still a free agency is what i was looking for i said contract upping year. Yeah. If you're not working hard enough, if you're still all one shade. Free agency is what I was looking for. I said contract upping year, Chris. I've been sick is a little doggy. It is a contract upping year. It is. You're upping the contract or an agency. But this has pockets, dude.

This is a fully functioning hoodie without the hood where they took all the hood material and made a little sheath. Just a collar. Yeah. This is more for... Well, the Eagles got bounced out of the playoffs, but I dress like they're in the Super Bowl. You do look kind of like a supervillain.

Thank you. Yeah, futuristic. I feel like they always have a wide neck. Yeah. My father still wears turtlenecks under his Eagles jacket, which is a ball-ass move. Dude, yeah.

The double turtleneck was big in the 90s at a cold game yeah double double thermal then a turtleneck well you'd always had like two multiple turtlenecks this is a sex sex god who the fuck is wearing multiple everybody because it was the only way to survive they didn't have the technology back then to just make a single like layer that could keep you warm dude i said this before last year two years ago was the first time i i officially got uh a winter coat yeah instead of just layering up multiple i used to wear jeans it's a game scheme growing up oh my god and then i would put like wind pants from sixth grade basketball over them to go to the poker and it was going on fucking. Yeah.

And I didn't understand how warm you could be just spending a couple of dollars on some goose feather. There was no amount of money I don't think back in the day that could have gotten you what you needed. True. Technology wasn't there yet. Yeah. That's all we did is we'd like layer socks up and layer pants up. Yeah. And then I like i remember seeing on

like an everest documentary where it's like that is the number one thing that will kill you yeah it's like you like you're in the you're in the bus on the way to the mountain yeah sweating sweating and then you step outside everything freezes you could have a million layers on you're still fucked yeah my dad used to like he had hand warmers just for his beak his nose yeah he's got a fucking he has a roman nose like you wouldn't believe. It would chip in the wind. Like if he went out in like 20 degree weather, he would have to hit with a hand warmer. He'd go like this and then we just hold it on his fucking honk.

He didn't need the chair lift. He'd do like this and the wind would. Aerodynamic Italian father. Just this big sail. Yeah. But this is new. and I like it. It's from Levi's. We're pushing a little fashion in this episode.

Oh, we are? Yeah. I'm not. I know you're not. I've got the same old crap on. You look great. Am I doing good? I'm not going to cheat on you.

You've got Chipotle on your sweatsuit. I do, definitely. I've got more than that. Well, that's how you get in with the neighbors. You get a little hot sauce Or some mayo It's a mayo And you're sweating

It's like I don't like this guy I like this guy I don't know what it is about him Yeah Well because if you don't Have anything on your pants There's nothing to talk about

That's a great You're walking down the street And they're like That guy's fine There's nothing to say Yeah He's been through nothing Versus like

If you got shit on your pants Someone's like Are you okay How you doing You alright Yeah Are you trying to go somewhere Or did you sneak out of the house he's been through nothing. Versus like, if you got shit on your pants, someone's like, are you okay? How you doing? You all right? Yeah. Are you trying to go somewhere? Did you sneak out of the house?

You know? And then you go, no, no, I'm actually fine. And they go, holy shit, this guy's incredibly high functioning. On top of being sick the last few days,

I also had this like breakout that's like shaped like Hawaii around my eyebrow. The Oculus? Yeah. It's from fucking playing Oculus with strangers. But I'm way too old for this

shit we did two hours last two hours two and a half hours yeah that's why i was so upset if you beat me from hole 13 to 18 yeah got my ass handed to you yeah yeah well i i did have the distinct advantage right you went to the bar before no i was fucking you hit the 19th green Before the round When you're on an actual course You miss a putt There's a good 30 second to 60 second walk to the cart Where you can calm yourself down Here I get worked up

I can hear you having a good time Pumping up strangers about your good time I get more upset And I'm arm's length away from a beer That I'll drink a lot faster than I normally would. Yeah, I don't. These are high octane piglets, these fuckers. These goals?

Yeah, yeah. These goals. These are for the fat boy changing jerseys. What's the name of this one? Or should we not say because they didn't send them to us? This is spin back. Yellow cake. Okay.

It's an IPA with lemon and vanilla. Nice. Yeah, it's got a nice finish. You can't drink this. This is for turtleneck sweatshirt. I feel like you know exactly what to say about things when you don't know what to say about them. I lie through my fucking eyes, dude. Does it have an oaky flavor?

Yeah, what is this? Yeah, how is it on the palate? A lot of white trash people do that, too, for like when they have like a Chardonnay. They're like, it's buttery and it's oaky. Yeah, yeah. They say the same thing for every wine. Yeah. And that's same thing for every wine. Yeah. And that's kind of what I do.

I almost never notice the difference. I sometimes, I just like a smooth, I don't like having it hurt my taste buds. The psychology around of me bullshitting is I do learn a little bit and then I dig my heels into that tiny slice of knowledge yeah and then when somebody asks a backup question i'm like well i can't i can't fault on this i gotta i gotta keep this going yeah and then i have a spider web of bullshit that i have to maintain

that's all built out of words that are similar to the one piece of jargon that you know yes dude this is how i got every fucking job through college and after college. I was charismatic as fuck. Yeah. And I knew what words to use during the interview. And then when I got to the job, I was like, I got no idea what I'm doing here, Karen.

So you're going to have to get your superiors and I'll probably be fired in three months. And you're in sales. You were in sales too, right? Eventually I was. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I started in IT support.

That's the perfect place for you. Yeah, exactly. That's where... Because it's like... They're like, Tom, you need to fill out the paperwork to get the... And you're like, I can't do that. It doesn't matter. And they go, well, I mean, the clients love them, so...

Yeah. It's a boiler room for liars. You just train a pack of Italian liars to get out there and swarm like fucking degenerate bees and rob every goddamn corporation. And I was a hornet, dude. I wasn't even a bee. I was a hornet of lie. Yeah?

Yeah. I'll tell you anything. What, are you search engine optimization? Is that what you want? Yeah. A little search engine marketing? Why don't we dip that into a whole new revamp? Visually.

Your site needs to be totally revamped. Little tabs in there. The problem is you're not using AI. Yeah, of course. Of course. Fucking AI. Extra 50 grand. You gotamped. Little tabs in there. The problem is you're not using AI. Yeah, of course. Of course. Fucking AI. Extra 50 grand. You got a whole wrong algorithm in there.

No joke. The last company I had before I started stand-up was, I was underneath the head of sales. Yeah. And then we would study what this proposal was and typically won the $3 million to go for a top 50 corporation. Yeah. You go after Coca-Cola and say, we could do the same thing Razorfish is doing for tenths of the price kind of thing.

Give us a three-month time frame to prove to you that we'll hit the same type of numbers at a fraction of the cost. Yeah, yeah. And everyone else around the table, there was an SEO guy, an SEM guy, a designer. All these dudes are like top of their pyramid of intellect and experience.

And then I'm just like, well, how do I say what you just said and move my hands like this? I do my eyebrows nicely. Yeah, yeah. You got to dumb it down for me because it's like the client's not going to understand. Yeah.

That's the way you got to spin it. You got to be like, the client's not gonna understand yeah and that's that's the way you got to spin it you got to be like the client's not gonna really understand you gotta help me explain this to the client it's a cliff notes for a fucking true dummy oh my god and for that reason i'm still boozing hard at like you know i'm 20 26 or 28 with this company and one night i had such a banger i had to pull over on 76 because i was having my first panic attack my first ever panic attack yeah and i pulled over on the turnoff of 76 to get to kancha hawken and i opened the door and went under a tree with my hands over my head like i was like a like a dog looks for his dying

days you know yeah you know a dog knows it's dying they just go under a tree well is this true yeah and then i just i walked to like the tree line and i just like sat down i'm like what is this feeling but have you ever had a panic attack no dude it's you really think you're dying it's like beyond belief i feel like i've come close oh you'll fucking know i've had a lot of come closest and i've only had like two or three i've true panic attacks. I've never walked into a tree and prepared to die. If you're not walking to a tree line, laying on your back, just fucking giving it up to the maggots, you're not fucking ready.

You're not ready. You're not ready for sales, dude. That's actually part of the training. It's like, dude, have you ever lie under a fucking... You ever pull your car over And go walk in Under a tree to die Expecting to die Saying bye to mom

While looking at her If you haven't Then I don't think you're ready I don't think you're ready for this I don't think this is the position for you You can't work for NetBus Your whole life Is about to become one big lie

You're gonna need to be able To hold up Under pressure But it is true man It's like Once I figured out I could live like that Instead of using my My education at Drexel For fucking man It's like Once I figured out I could live like that Instead of using my

My education at Drexel For fucking IT It's like I don't need to do All this bullshit On a daily basis Yeah I don't need to take shit

From these fucking morons In cubicles across from me I could just lie to people Meet my quota Yeah Within the first month Of the first quarter And then fuck off

So then I started Writing dick jokes In my office Literally Yeah I started writing dick jokes in my office. Literally. I was writing jokes for the open mic. And would people stop by and be like, whoa, what are you up to? My boss.

My boss would walk in and be like, what are we doing, Tom? You're entering into a spreadsheet? Yeah, yeah. Tell me if you like this premise. Eventually he was like, look, I know you don't want to be here. I know you don't want to do this. So let's figure out a way to get you off here and transition you.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Instead of firing me, he laid me off so I could get unemployment. Yeah. And then I ran through that Obama 99 in like fucking 39. Oh, my God. Yeah. Obama 99 was two years

of unemployment, essentially. Really? It was choice. Perfect time. Perfect time to be unemployed. Buko Bokos. What is Obama 99? It was just an extended relief for unemployment. Oh, okay. Yeah. Was it in response to something? Oh, it was probably

the financial crisis. Racism. Mostly racism among sales people. Financial crisis. Yeah, no, it was funny. I was talking to a buddy of mine and he was bitching about a dude that he works with and like the way that the guy like fucks around

and lies about shit. Just like he doesn't do the work. So a rat. No, no, he doesn't do the work and like doesn't know what he's doing. Why'd he get sold out? What? Well, he got sold out by a co-worker? No, no, he doesn't do the work. So a rat. He doesn't do, no, no, he doesn't do the work and like doesn't know what he's doing. Why'd he get sold out? What? Well, he got sold out by a coworker? No, no, he didn't get ratted out by anybody.

My buddy was just telling me about this dude that he works with. Gotcha. Who does this shit. Where like, like everything he was describing was shit that I've 100% done. Yeah. Which is like, someone's like like someone asks you to get them something by the end of the week yeah and then like friday afternoon they're like hey where's that thing and you're like oh i like had a question yeah yeah what is the thing again

oh my bad i had a question for you and then or like you go in for like a performance review yeah and people are like this this is not, you're not doing great. Yeah. And you're like, well, you know, I really want to like dive into some other like areas and like learn about this and learn about that. And like, it's just all, there's a whole nother wing of this company. I've been really interested.

If I could just lie over there for three more months while I look for another job, they'd be great. It's like getting kicked out of apartment like well if i put a tent in the backyard yeah could i stay here for a little while but i was thinking about making some improvements to the deck you're gonna lose out on that you have no idea what i can do shit all over it and they're like ah but then we do need to improve the did i tell you a story about how I got fired from the engineering job I had? No. So my original major was engineering at Drexel,

and the first co-op was I worked for a couple of Degos, O'Donnell and Nacarado in Philly. That's the Catholic combo. Yeah, it's Irish-Italian. O'Donnell and Nacarado. That's what we are. O'Donnell and Nacarado. And Naga, Naga, I'm not going That's what we are. And,

uh, Naga, Naga, I'm not going to show up here anymore. Personal injury. Love. So I'm fucking off as much as I can. And once,

so here's how they treat it. It was disgusting. So instead of your, your, your going to basically pre-med school, it's the, the curriculum is wild. Oh, 18,

21 and 24 credits your first three semesters yeah your freshman year the whole process is meant to weed two of the three out it truly is yeah so when i finally got you get one summer off then you jump into either it was like a lottery whether you jump in the the first half of the year you're working a full-time job or first half the year you're going to school i had a job i went right to this uh engineering firm and i worked in the cellar with this old who was a miserable i mean he was like my dad times he concentrated into like a hundred wops oh yeah dude never smiled at anything he's been beaten down he was probably 74 years old 75 years old

does feel like a wop stuck in a math hole. Yeah. About as angry as they get. Yeah. Dude, it was like a rat's den for WAPs. So, an architect, this is what my job was. For $45,000 a year that my parents said they were paying, and I had a scholarship.

It was all me. Yeah. My dime after I fucking graduated, which I found out they would take the architects prints of a building and then he would mark up in a certain type and then in a red pen I would have to take that it was like a hundred pages I take that flop it through and have to do that for four or five different versions yeah that was my whole fucking job and then I have to log my hours per per company that i'm logging these hours to so that they can take my time sheet and if it adds up to 40 hours oh yeah just monotonous

fucking bullshit time sheets do you know the bobs in uh the office space the bobs yeah that portly fat little white dude built like a wine cork what is it you say you do the guy who owned o'donnell looked just like this little stump this little tree stump with freckles and this guy would walk around and he would go tom um can you uh the what no he said the one night he goes the water cooler on uh floor three is out and i was like okay yeah and i just kept walking he's like can you refill it i went no i don't go to college for that that's not why i'm here yeah and so after a while i started lying on my time yeah of course i started lying on my time sheet about all my hours yeah no this fucking

older rat wop was taking the times that i'd walk in so if i walked in at like 10 30 or exited 4 30 he'd keep all these hours yeah so the portly fucking irish dude what a fucking takes me into the office is he billing that time who's he billing that exactly exactly exactly no he wasn't honest about it but this guy fucking sold me down the river and i worked with him for like eight months well you were in the office next to him i don't know if any work was being done we were doing that i was just smelling markers for a fucking seven hours a day and then beating off but anyway i get fired the guy's like he brings me in the office three months before my my co-op is over yeah if you get fired before the co-op you don't get your credits so your semester's over so

the guy goes all right here's your options you can either resign sign this paper right now or we can fire you won't give me a fucking paper yeah i'll sign it right now if i can just fire me immediately oh my god yeah and then you dropped that engineering no i just switched after the second year i switched to uh to it okay yeah i can't i know i know i know i can't i know but you know what it's we got power through sorry we've got uh we got a full house yeah it's a full full house we had a full house today house of rice fucking mice whops running around a lot of action get it sit in nobody makes noises during our podcast i don't make i don't make a poop i don't make a poop. I don't make a peep. I'm outside. I'm going to be in the shower.

That was one time. Every time, baby. I like to be a clean walk. Anyway. Got to power through. Stay focused. Shane's in the kitchen walking back and forth Like Darth Maul Ready for the

Ready for the Pot to end So he can break Your leg I'm sure he's gonna Sit down or not Yeah we're losing Shane Well

Yeah we'll see No it's Now we're losing We'll see I'm upset about it He's going bye bye I don't want him to leave I don't either

Every day I get I get to watch live sports from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Yeah. It's a fun time. Yeah, FIFA. Nighttime is more fun. When you fucking monkeys are home on the weekends. No, yeah. The home is for me.

Yeah. But I like the day. This weekend is going to suck. This weekend is going to suck. I become so accustomed to your... Oh, yeah, yeah. You're gone. He's gone. Yeah. What are you going to do I've become so accustomed to your You're gone, he's gone What are you going to do? I don't know

Are you going to get wild in here? What do you do when we're not around? I usually get an architect's printings And I duplicate it four to five times Dude, do you know anything about engineering at this point? Did you ever get to learn anything about it? Yeah, I went to schooling for two and a half years oh holy shit yeah it wasn't like after the first job and then I did it's a five-year school you're

essentially it's not your masters but the cooperative education program gets you like your first out the door for you have three three and a half years of employment on your yeah it's making more money than my father like junior year yeah it's good pay but you're also buying 30 birds and you know fucking off down the shore so I wasn't like saving in an IRA

oh yeah I was just getting lit god damn it those were the days dude yeah that shit sucks I remember I had buddies in engineering at Drexel

and I like you know I'm writing papers about just like marketing you're just making things up you know what I mean nobody there's you know there's no real science to it it's just bulls yeah it's like total bullshit I'm writing papers about just like marketing. You're just making things up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

There's, you know, there's no, yeah, I know. I hope that was a marketing girl. Yeah. It's like total bullshit.

Yeah. And then I'd be like, what are you studying for? And he's like, well, I got a test. It's like, if you put a flame under like this lamp,

how long does it take for this to heat up? And then this other thing to heat up. Yeah. And then you're like, what the, you gotta do the math on that? Yeah. And it changes, you know, like that bend in it,

which is going to change. Yeah, physics was the hardest thing in the world. It's a fucking nightmare. You have to know real things. And you're doing them all at the same time. So you have biology, chemistry, physics, calculus, all at the same fucking time. Yeah.

And they all go up a level every semester. So you're like, like dude like the first class it's like an auditorium yeah and this this indian uh teacher ven ven cararaman he'd be like the ball is rolling and he would spin a ball like this and would come back and he would talk about the friction and then he would put a thing on the board a formula on the board and they would like okay what a passing he would just go nuts and i was, a formula on the board, and they would be like, okay, what if that's, you know, dead? He would just go nuts. And I was like, this guy's crazy.

I'm coming from Delco. Like, I went to school, high school with a bunch of waterheads. I mean, everyone was. It really does drain the fun out of everything. You know what I mean? Yeah, having to care. Yeah. That's why we're great now, baby.

People, like, throw those water bottles up and they spin and, like, land in a fucked up way. Imagine if someone was, like, mathematically explain to me why that happened. Why did that happen? People would be like, oh, come on, man. Shut up. Can't we just go, whoa? Yeah. Can't we just go, whoa, and then look at our gloves changing colors?

There's a beefy kid in the background. I'm sweating and my shirt's changing my dad i my dad is a big math guy and i just couldn't do it yeah probably the biggest like some of the biggest fights that we got in like it really like it affected the household was was him trying to help me with math homework and me just, you know, just like writing an answer. Without doing the work? Yeah, him being like, how did you, like, and he's had a full day of work. He's got to come home and help me figure out what happened here. So I'm just adding.

More stress to his life. Hours to his life. Did he never hit you at all? He just grunted and like girded his teeth? No, he like, you know, know it was just it's hard to explain he was holding it it was like I don't know you afraid to say it

uh come on dude let the world know pop pop O'Connie's no it was just it was just an energy that he had like he had been through that Right

And he would come So close Yeah And not Crossing that line Yeah yeah Where it's just like Yeah yeah

It's one Yeah and every He could With his eyes Tell you Like You're on Thin ice

Thin fucking ice You're on Thin ice Yeah The jig is up Yeah You don't seem like a kid that would i feel like your blind ignorance to how severe the situation is would become a problem before you instigating a problem or pushing something too far do you know what i mean no No, I let things slowly rot until it's a huge problem. Yeah.

You know what I mean? That's my thing, where it's like, so by the time they would find out about a situation, it would be like, dude, you could have prevented this. With just. I hate to say this. One ounce of effort at any point along this chain of events i've been reading some comments and you did nothing i've been reading some comments about how people like you and i talking about our living situation but i see the psychology breakdown the

psychological breakdown in your head where it's like, I could just take care of this right now. Or I just let it fester and build up to a pile that I'd need a machine gun to clean. Yeah. It's like, is this really a problem? Yes. Is it?

What if I don't ever think about it? Yeah. Or don't look at it. Yeah. Then does it exist? Most of the time it kind of goes away. Maybe you're the opposite with shit like this. What? Like getting a podcast out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or getting something completed. You put the pressure on me going, because it's in the back of your head going, we have something we need to cut. Right. We have something we need to film. That becomes a problem.

It can't fester. Well, that's because i i can see the i can see exactly how it's going to become a problem you know like i can see the i can see though that like the mountain of work that you need to do yeah or i can see the the causal chain there but like when it comes to like if i leave pizza on my toilet for three months, for years, what happens? It dries out.

It becomes completely inedible. You had like women come in that house. Not a ton. Yeah. What I mean, were you dating someone? I don't think so. I fucking hope not.

No, no. I was, I was just, you know, on, yeah, I was just your new love life situation yeah

what is your plan outside of avoiding her to ever come here i'm sure it's come up where you're like she can easily come here so i don't have to travel there at two o'clock in the morning yeah i mean uh what if we start working on a plan to fix some stuff. Yeah. Well, I can like, the problem is I can get, I can get it rocking and roll. Like I can, I can, I can tighten it up. I can be disciplined. I can like really be on top of shit, but it like the moment, the moment it rocks a little bit. Yeah.

You're out. I'm just, I'm fully out. The wheels come off. It's the wheels come off for months. Yeah. And then you rock and roll again. And then I can rock and roll again. Yeah.

If I'm like really, but it's like, then I can just, you know, I can get also get into his own or years go by. And it's just like, it's, you know,

it's like it is now where it's just kind of like, yeah. Outside of doing this stuff. Like it's just crazy. It's crazy. It's the most like everything is by the seat of my pants there's no plan it's just i also hate making plans i hate like yeah i hate making but and there's a there's a weird thing that happens to me when i start doing like when i start like cleaning and like waking up out of the scheduled time and like

going to bed at a scheduled time. Like I just, it's like, it's like the future collapses into the present and I can just like, so what? I just do this till I die. Oh, so you, you think the monotony of the scheduling process makes me want to kill myself. It's worse for your brain chemistry than living by the seat of your pants so if you had a daily schedule and accountability where like we filmed at 9 a.m yeah you think that would be that would prohibit creativity and output

no it's more like the other stuff where it's like once you get locked into that thing where like you live every day between certain hours you know and you can't really like you know go and do crazy shit because it's like well you have to be up the next day to like do x y and z and yeah you're not gonna have the energy for it. Like once you, like once, once my future obligations start, like, like, like coming to bear on my like present day activities. Yeah.

I start to really like spaz. Like my favorite, my favorite thing about so far of the nine episodes, eight episodes we've done Is The Admittance Of Of fans commenting Going Every time I agree with Chris

I get super fucking wary Cause This is why I allow you To go on so long I'm like fucking unraveling This wild brain of yours Yeah Cause there are people that

That behave Like this Yeah Yeah yeah They're out there I haven't met many of No but there There's one in a million Yeah People that behave like this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're out there. I haven't met many of them. Well, there's one in a million. Yeah.

You guys are bopping around the earth at different fucking sites. If you were all in one place, we'd burn it to the ground. We're like locusts. Get rid of these fucking rabid rats. Every 80 years, one of us comes. You guys are COVID-20. Yeah, I don't know. It's a real problem like anytime anytime my

my life gets into a nice I like a nice rhythm I'm like so what it's just then this forever yeah yeah but it could be a positive thing it doesn't have to be a negative rhythm I know I know, I know, but like there is something about the like the panic that I like. You know, I don't know, maybe like that's something I need to like figure out. I can't, there is like a real piece of me that's like, you know what, man? Like I need to like fully stop drinking. All right, all right. What? Cut.

No, no, no. I am so? Cut. No, no, no. I am so fucking tired. No, no, no. I'm losing friends. No, no. I know. To not booze. I hear you.

I hear you. You can still get shit done. No, look, you don't have to go hard all the time. No, I get it. I'm just bustable. No, it's, well, it's like, it's not even that. It's like, if I, uh, you know know like it's almost that it's not that it's like i think the drinking is necessarily a problem i just think i would benefit from like forced

boredom you know what i mean like if i was stuck with nothing to do i would start panicking about other things and start getting those things in order. I think this is a ridiculous claim. Why? I don't think you need to spark some form of energy towards your career or your interests with requiring boredom. Yeah. Like if you're, yeah, because it's like. Dude, if you literally, this is what it requires you if you if you literally this is what require

fire trial by fire is that what they say you would literally have to lose all of this stuff that you're making money on yeah to live this way and get a full-time nine-to-five job to be shocked you get a fucking ice bath of reality going you got it good you just have to work it like a fucking job and if you don't you're missing out on the opportunity to be something better right for yourself yeah so then it's essentially you just you're hurting yourself and the potential of us what do you and i got my own fucking shit what it's like what's your shit the same thing but a different a different manner so my i think think my psychoaggressions and microaggressions. You should have said that first.

Psycho micro? See, my psychoaggressions about cleanliness and fucking all the shit I give you about. It's like that. I'm just trying to suffice for my own inabilities to get stuff done when I want to. I push stuff off just like you. And then it just creates an anxiety and a loophole of the same bullshit. And you address the cleaning stuff.

This cleaning stuff is a little bit of a salve for larger projects that you're not tackling. But even if I'm getting this stuff done and I still see I gotta fucking vacuum this carpet and I put that off for two days, that becomes something that becomes huge in my head that will alter the course of my success towards another thing that I need to get done.

Right. It's crazy behavior. Well, because it's a task that you know, you know all the factors of it, right? Like if the carpet needs to be vacuumed, there's no way that's going to go wrong somehow and you won't be able to finish it yeah or that you'll run you'll get it you're not gonna get into like writer's block right

vacuum the carpet yes you know yes so they become tasks that are like you're like oh well you know what i can like do that it'll make yes yes and it's guaranteed yes like if i take bleach and a scrub brush to the tub this is it's going to be clean yes there's nothing stopping me and there's like yeah there's i just need to throw a little bit of will at it and i'm going from fucking zero to hero no matter what small project i'm gonna get right but if i'm gonna yeah start a short story yeah we're 62 minute 62 page fucking pilot script which i started two years ago you hit a roadblock you're like i don't fucking i had so much confidence in this thing yeah and then i'm gonna shelf it for six months and let that fester for a while right

so of course i'm gonna clean the goddamn carpet six more times i'm losing my fucking mind yeah yeah i need to feel like i did something today. Well, this is the purpose and I think the success of our relationship with this podcast is it makes you work so much harder and consistently. Not harder, necessarily. Look, we're not fucking building bridges here.

We're talking about nonsense for a while, but it's consistency, it's accountability, it's all these things on a smaller level. The goal is to have this at a larger level where you're producing a fucking Yeah, bigger show your own comedy show, whatever the fuck it is a 30 minute who knows who knows and that's that's the fucking goal

Yeah, so these are just baby steps to eventually kill yourself Yeah, no more fucking no more rugs when you jump over the GW, buddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to vacuum the seat. It's true. Just pencil. Yeah, you just fall down there. That's another one of those small tasks you're like, I know this is going to work.

Yeah, yeah. I know for a fact. That's why I. One more job. I got one more fucking job. I still will never understand people jumping off a bridge, though. Did we talk? We talked about this. I we talk we talked about this

i mean we talked about on the couches did we talk about on the i don't know if we did let's fucking get into it dude we definitely talked about penciling but i just don't understand why like you're taking such a risk going into water not if you go on the right fucking bridge and you're also taking a ride this is is your final Coney Island roller coaster. Yeah. But it's like shooting yourself in the head a little bit. That's a risk. Yes, you can miss.

No, no, no, no. You never go this way. I know. Because you trigger. You go this way. You go, yeah, and straight through the spinal cord. You don't go up towards the brain. What?

This is instant. If you go up towards the brain at first. You can miss again? Well, it's the same thing with here, your temple, you're nervous. You don't want to do it really. Yeah. Typically you're, this is from what I've read.

You don't want to do it. So your hesitancy, you don't want to do it. No, you shouldn't do it. You do not want to do it. Your hesitancy with the trigger will drive the gun at a different angle and just maul you as opposed to kill you. Same thing here.

If you go straight up towards what you think is the brain, a lot of times you end up just taking off your nose and your mouth. You'd think they'd be suggesting it then. Yeah, you gotta go straight this way, because that way if you hesitate, you're still going pow. Yeah. But you want to suggest the one that's the life-saving one. You know the little red circle on a fucking dartboard?

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Anyway, we're good. We're both vacuuming. I know. I know. No guns in the house.

Thank God. The whole conversation was like, yeah, it just takes a little couple daily chores to get your mind right. And then you start being a calendar. You're like, I wouldn't jump off a bridge. No, actually daily chores. Are you covering for your failures? I admit it, Dak. It's not failures.

I know. I know. It's the holes. It's the holes of accountability and the whole professional work being completed it's going if i'm not if i'm not doing anything and i got all day it's like yeah well i might as well fucking clean this degos marble for a little bit you know i mean i feel like i'm doing something and then i look to my reflection in the side. I'm like, there's dust all over this mirror. There's dust all over this mirror. Yeah, yeah. And I get Windex and I get my...

I mean, nothing can get done until I get the dust off the mirror. 100%. 100%. And then it gets too late and I go, ah, it's 8 o'clock. Yeah, yeah. My whole day's shot. I gotta wait till tomorrow. But tomorrow, I'm gonna have a clean mirror.

Everything's gonna be fine. I'm gonna be poised. Celery juice. I'm jogging backwards to fucking connecticut yeah it's 2 2 p.m the next day you're like oh i fucking drank too much whiskey who are you get out of my fucking bed yeah like i'm not gonna be able to write that script unless i'm rested yes i gotta yeah i actually it's about getting on a schedule first i can't do any of this stuff yeah yeah and if you listen against this, you can actually hear me saying these words to myself.

Just in the corner. Yeah. It's about getting on a schedule. It's about being invested in what you really want. Bing, bing. Yeah. Just an ice cube hitting a fucking crystal glass.

Empty again. Smashing. Just a fucking corner of broken crystal glasses. This week was stressful. Yes. Oh, sorry.

You want to say? No, no, no. I was going to just say this was our first. This is one of our first weeks of adversity.

Adversity. Yeah. As far as the cast goes. I feel like we owe, you know, we're a couple guests drop out.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We want to the next couple weeks. We have don't. We also think we're figuring this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we weren't... Happens. The next couple weeks, we have... We also... We're figuring this fucking thing out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, well, it happens.

It happens. Yeah. So this is our first time that we've had to deal with it. Yesterday. It's going to be released tonight. Yeah. That two-day difference. Because we have streams now.

Yeah. We have this cooking thing we're trying to edit. I already promised we'd be out. Sorry. It's not out because it's a bigger project than i you know expect it yeah we just brought on an editor we got a guy i think you're gonna like i think you're gonna like what very exciting you're gonna like what happens yes it will be good i promise but even that even that's gonna take three four or five episodes to figure out your mood your theme what what what works what doesn't.

It's the same thing with this shit. Scheduling what we want to do. We're fucking babies in this. I know. We really don't know what we're doing. No. No, we don't.

But it's like, yeah, because we've been told to bank episodes. Right. Just in case. Whose we? What?

Do you remember me telling this? Maybe we should film three or four? Huh? That was during my big peak Accountability days When I was getting up early I was like Chris We should do three or four of these

You repeat things H Foley told you That Kevin Ryan told him Yeah And then I say I told it to you Yeah yeah yeah I told you this weeks ago You wouldn't understand

Yeah yeah You wouldn't understand What Schultz said You wouldn't get it Yeah yeah And Schultz told Yeah Meanwhile I'll talk to Shane For like a half hour And then I go to Chris I'm like you don't understand what schultz said you wouldn't get it yeah yeah and schultz told yeah i'll talk to shane for like a half hour and i go to chris but you don't fucking get it

you don't know what it takes shane and i had a whole conversation yeah i don't remember so i know it all no i'm fucking totally uh you know obviously i also been fired up this week i had a fucking i rode on the train up from dc took the train back took a fucking 6 a.m train back yeah and it's like dude everyone on this train is exhausted sleeping 6 a.m on a sunday and the lady on the train would not shut the fuck up. What? No. Are we going to... What kind of lady are we talking? It was a conductor. Okay, what kind of lady?

What? What kind of lady? It was just a regular lady. Okay. You know. The other details are not... It's a regular yapper. The other details are not important,

but she would repeat... First of all, every stop, she would make a really long announcement, starting of all, every stop, she would make a really long announcement starting off with like, ladies and gentlemen, you need to have your mask on at all times. You can't take your mask off unless you're eating food. Then you got to put your mask back on. That's legal.

The quiet car. What? She legally has to say that. I know, but she doesn't legally have to say it twice. Right. This is maybe every stop. Dude, this is conducted as a 6 a.m. shift. She's trying to shine to get that fucking.

Oh, my God. And that's where she really shines. You know what? Just do. It's like a bad job. A flight attendant that gets fucking wild about the seat buckle thing. That's a couple of jokes. Yeah.

Yeah. Dance thing. It's like, shut the fuck up. Nobody cares. Dude, the fact that they still come around and make you put your seat back up

yeah 30 minutes before you land it's like what are you what yeah that's like wearing a helmet jumping out of a plane

what happens what happens if yeah you fucking crash is it for tournaments no no I mean what happens if what happens if the whole plane lands

and everyone's reclined? Yeah. Maybe it's the neck thing. That's what it is. I think it's about getting out of the seats. No, it's the neck. I think if it's reclined, it's harder to get through. I know for sure it's the neck thing.

I've done some research on this. No, when you're fully this way, but sitting upright not knowing your chair is all the way if there's oh you can like snap for yeah you you're gonna snap pretty hard no matter what you're dying you're gonna die no even if you hit the fucking if they land awkwardly yeah yeah you know sometimes they go too far into the runway because they're dumb as shit and then they have to slam the brakes on. Everybody goes like this into the... You know?

You get that Midwestern mom getting all nervous looking at you like, oh, that was close. They throw the brakes on too fast. Yeah. It's part of the process. Oh, we didn't even talk. I got fucking downgraded from first class.

Oh, yeah. I heard about this. I heard about this. Unbelievable. Hilarious. I didn't know it was possible. I wish I was there, dude. Do you know the fucking smile on my face?

Watching you burn. It was the first time I legitimately boarded Zone 1. I've been illegally boarding Zone 1. For years. Yes. Yeah. And this is the first time. So you're looking at the golden ticket.

I finally go, you know what? There's no pressure. You got the Wonka ticket. I'm in Zone 1. Yeah. And this is the first time. So you're looking at the golden ticket. I finally go, you know what? There's no pressure. You got the Wonka ticket. I'm in zone one. Yeah. So you take your headphones off. Yeah, yeah. Your hats backwards.

I'm talking to Santino. I'm chatting him up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Waving all the colors. I go, what seat are you? He goes, 2A. I'm like, I'm 2C. Right next to Richard.

Can you believe? I didn't even know You didn't even know I was first class How did you get bumped up In the first place? I got drunk and I bought it Oh okay The night before

No what happened was A couple days before I was flying to Atlanta I bought I was like fuck it I'm gonna be hung over Cause we were Playing Onward

Yeah I was like I'm gonna be Fucking hung over Oh you put on one that night Yeah We didn't go to bed till like four yeah then you got up at five yeah this is the night where you woke up and i was like what are you doing yeah yeah yeah i have to leave i was like i'm gonna be fucking terrible on this flight i will i'm just fucking i'm doing it first class but i was so drunk that i upgraded my flight from dc to at to Atlanta to first class which is only 45 literally like a yeah yes it's the dumbest yes great and how much an extra

300 bucks no no it was like a hundred and something it wasn't bad it wasn't bad at all but so whatever I wound up being in a shitty seat for fucking the flight how did this dude steal you see So there's miscommunication in the system? No, no. They had changed planes. But I honestly don't think that the seats were actually any different. But they kept saying that they'd changed planes.

So as Santino scans his ticket and goes through, and then I scan my ticket and a thing prints. And I'm like, well, that's just some kind of fucking receipt that I don't fucking need. So I walk down like the gangplank or whatever. This is your new seat. Yeah.

And the guy goes, sir, sir. And I'm like, I'm not looking back. I don't know what that guy wants. I don't know what that sir is and it's not my sir. Don't talk to me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm first class.

It starts now. And he's like, he's like, you need this. This is your, this is your new seat. And I was like, Oh,

they're moving me to some other first class. Yeah. And it says, I look at it and it goes, it says 17 a on it. And I was like, what? So I ran back up there like, and I was like, so I ran back up there

like and I was like what what is this he's like we changed planes so the seats are different and it's like

yeah but what the fuck you cursed yeah you cursed at him I was like what the fuck he could have sent you back to fucking Abu Dhabi no

and then he was like I'm sorry he didn't even say I'm sorry he's like the plane's different the seats have changed and I was you can't change classes kidding me how do you change classes I don't know and then like and this is the thing where it's just like look I feel bad because it's nobody working that flight's fault yeah I don't think yeah but it's nobody working that flight's fault. Yeah. I don't think. Yeah. But it's like, so you can't really be mad at them.

But also, they should just be like, yo, look, Delta sucks, dude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They suck. You're right. Instead, they kept being like, sometimes things happen And planes change And we all just have to make adjustments

And it's like Don't do that to me This is crazy They all have the disposition and personality Of like an 8th grade teacher Talking to a 5th grader But why? Are they being surveilled?

Talk down to you Like you don't understand Some things happen like this Why? You know what I mean? How those women would talk down to you. Yeah. Like you don't understand. Some things happen like this. Yeah. It's like don't fucking talk to me. Be an adult. I had a first class ticket.

Now I don't. How do I fix that? And I'm not even in comfort class or whatever the second level. There's a second tier in Delta? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been getting fucked. Yeah, yeah. There's a second level.

The Biscoffs though. Mezzanine. The Biscoffs. The Bisco second level. The Biscoffs, though. Mezzanine. And then... The Biscoffs. The Biscoffs. No Biscoffs. Some dude sent me a message saying there's Biscoff ice cream. Really?

Yeah. Is there going to be a problem? Huh? They're expanding into... Yeah, they're expanding into the ice cream zone. Biscoffs are on one, dude. Dude, I sleep through the Biscoff every time. Of course you do.

Yeah. That's also a crazy thing to do. What? Sleep through the Biscoff? time. Of course you do. Yeah. That's also a crazy thing to do. What? Sleep through the Biscoff? Sleep through any of the plane for me. It's like, it's nuts. Yeah. And you say you walk in, you sit down, you're out.

Yeah, pretty much. That's nuts. But I do think I'm getting worse at it. I think my powers are starting to wane. Wane. Wane. Wane? No, you- You wane off. You wane. Wean. Wean. Wean? No, you wean off.

You wean off things. But a moon waxes and wanes, yeah. Yeah. Wean. Wean is to wane. Wean off. You need to wean off booze. That's wean off.

I am. I haven't drank. You're reducing your booze levels. You have not drank that much. I've had two beers over the past four days. Really? I think so, yeah. Now, you got in my stash last night, you fucking liar.

I had one beer last night. I counted four. What? You counted four? There's no way. Someone else must have dipped in it. I'm getting angry. Fucking all my booze.

You need to slow down on the booze. I do. I stopped drinking whiskey here. That's the big thing. No whiskey in the house. That's huge. No more hard liquor in the house. That's fucking huge.

Yeah. You get something on your mind, you get a little anxious about something. I know. It's so nice though. Four or five hours of whiskey. It's so nice. It's so easy.

It is. A beer is such an undertaking. I'm in Super Bowl, Super Bowl shape. Yeah. For whiskey. For whiskey. hours of whiskey it's so nice it's so easy it is a beer is such an undertaking super bowl super bowl shape yeah for whiskey for whiskey yeah easy four or five hours non-stop god with no problem i've been training my whole life for this now i have to abandon it start over yeah but that'll be good get whiskey out of your life for a while the rugs they're gonna get cleaned a lot more often bugging the fuck out about nothing when was the last time you had an extended sober period man the fuck you can't admit your dad beat the shit out of you and i gotta talk about this

no no we should set a patreon goal i'll do that if we get a certain number of patrons i actually have to go sober for a month let's take a fucking let's wean down I need you to wean and wean you're out of your fucking mind you gotta go sober for a month we'll document

the whole thing if you knew you'd go let's start with a couple days I'm gonna be honest i think damn dude it's probably been it's been a while for me it's been like three to five years since i remember having like a week off yeah a week yeah three years ago was probably the worst i've ever been in my life really that was on on a regular basis. Yeah, I got a message. I said something I don't know if it was the last episode here or I said it on some podcast about I was in like dark days

Yes about my brother was about losing. Yeah, and I just fucking I went I went black dude. I was I think yeah but if I were to if I were to imagine like a Week off of not boozing. I think I'd have to go back like at least five years. Yeah. And I'm talking Monday to Friday school days. I'm going like- Work week, business days. Yeah.

My goal is like to drink like a guy who, or even a college student, like school Monday to Thursday, or just out of college, you have a work schedule you know a work schedule yeah and you you had a couple pops on thursday and then you got lit friday and saturday no drinking sunday that would be beautiful dude it's tough yeah my worst my worst was i would like there was a period there right before the pandemic like i feel like early 2019 somewhere yeah i i was like a monster where

i was like i was living by myself yeah and i lived in this attic i lived in like a spooky old attic like where ghosts live the top that's your nickname when you're not around the ghost yeah where's the ghost at i did i haunted the roof and i would literally stand in the window and like and it was it was like a wait hold on are we talking like a pointy attic yes and there's one little window you're drinking out staring out staring out it oh my god i would stare out it and i would listen to podcast or watch stuff on my phone i would just stare at it and i was drinking hard what do you drink i would go get these like these but i think these uh i think it was like the golden

monkey like victory and they're like victory or something like that i would get i would get beers that were like i shouldn't be answering me but yeah it's nine solid nine and like i would just it's like rubbing alcohol with honey that's what it tastes like yes and i would pound a six pack of that yeah and just black out like dude it was i used to drink fucking nine, nine and a half, up to 11. I think at 11 it starts to become not beer anymore. Yeah, yeah. It's wine. Yeah. But I got... I broke up with one of my exes just after college.

I live with my best friend in Northern Liberties. Yeah. Third and George. And we were both in a state of booze. We actually were drinking this beer called blithering idiot but it's like a monk's ipa like a double ipa it was like a really maybe not but it might be an ale but it's like 11 yes and we just gotten like fucking fist almost a fist fight really i was crying at some point it was like a real dark place.

That was the second darkest place in my life because I lost everything. Yes. And then I started another thing and I lost everything. So I needed to like figure out how to hone in when you lose everything. Oh my God. That reminded me of one of the most

embarrassing moments of my life. I fucking, I was hanging out at my buddy's house in college and uh we were playing wizard staff it was like a gay thing wizard staff wizard staff is every beer you drink you duct tape a beer to it and you try to build like as big a staff as you can. I only know Edward four hands. Yeah. But so I was like,

I suggested the idea. So I was like, I'm going to win. Yeah. You have to come out with that confidence. I built this giant wizard staff. Bill, I built me earned.

I built, you don't build. Yeah. Yeah. I carved out disappoint family you leave your kids stop saying built i built like i shit my pants i got new jeans i shaved my head by the time my wizard staff was over i lost my job dude anyway my staff was huge. My staff was gigantic. It was like seven and a half. It was like feet. It was huge.

Wait, seven and a half feet? It was definitely like seven feet. What is this, though? Well, I'm sitting down. I'm trying to get you to imagine. I'm trying to take you to the heights. All right, well, seven feet is probably close to where that cuddle is. There's the birds circling.

Yeah. So what's that, like 15 beers? It's a lot. But so I'm shit-faced, right? And all of a sudden, they invite over like a bunch of girls

and other people. How'd you meet your wife, Chris? Yeah, no. And it's like, it's a bunch of like hot girls that i never really hung out with in high school it's like a high school friends that are like you know work whatever you know i haven't get to it i haven't seen one get to the embarrassment so then my good buddy my good buddy like your anxiety avoids every fucking daily task. So anyway, there I was getting food afterwards. I'm now trying to think of ways to spin this so it doesn't look as bad.

What you're doing is you're popcorn trailing me down a different path so that you can tell me a wrong story. Dude. A false fucking story. No, my buddy makes. Just dig in my buddy makes like an offhand comment that i'm like this other kid that we went to high school that i know he hates oh man right so liquor mine and this is like my one of my best friends this is like borderline my best friend he makes that comment and i just start like crying with these, this wand.

I'm 21 years old and I'm like, Oh, don't fuck me. Yo, is the, is the wizard thing, is the lizard thing one handed? Dude, it's a giant.

I'm holding a giant. Wizard's death. Oh, my God. Crying about, honestly, probably one of the softest digs in the world. What world? I remember, and it's like, you know, I'm like browning out. I remember being like out in the driveway. Be like, no, you hate him, man.

I don't know. I don't know if I had still had it. Might have broken at that point. My powers were gone. It's so funny if you had to like walk into like a veterinarian for them to cut it off. How do you get that fucking thing off? Is this hand free? No, no, you're not taped to it. Oh, you just have off? Dude. How do you get that fucking thing off? Is this hand free? No, no, you're not taped to it.

Oh. You just have it. Dude. I woke up the next day like... You changed schools. You know what? Changed schools. No, I was in college.

I gotta live somewhere else. I was in college. It's like, I'm going back to Philly today. I gotta... You did this at Drexel? No, no, this was in Connecticut. I was like home visiting friends. It was like high school friends I hadn't seen.

Oh my God. It was, you know, one of those, those days where you like, I don't know, I'm sure you've had this happen. I was just like,

you do something horrible. You blackout, you wake up the next day being like, you're like in your room fine. And you're like, was that like a dream? And then you start going like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I did do that. I did that.

And then you're like, wait, what, what was the next thing that happened? Yeah. Did it get resolved? Did I like fix it? Did I clean it up? Oh my God. Oh my God. Did I clean it up somehow?

Wait, we, McKeever and I were trying to explain this. Oh no, it's real. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did I clean it up somehow? Dude, McKeever and I, I was trying to explain this. Oh no. It's real. There's no way to fix it. Yeah, yeah. I said this on Thick Dad Meat or something,

but McKeever and I have this, I was trying to explain that exact anxiety the next day. And I was like, do you ever just scream? Because you realize what you did and you're just like, ah! And it just relieves all of the stress

for a second yeah because you can't believe what i just what i what oh my god i can't believe i did that yeah i have hundreds of those dude my thing is i sing i'm gonna fucking kill myself and it's sometimes it'll come out i love how my my whole reaction is like's going to be a shock to my system, relieves the tentacles of a fucking depressing anxiety. Oh my God. And you just start singing your show tune. I'm going to fucking kill my motherfucking tooth.

I do. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to fucking kill my tooth. And like, sometimes it comes out on the street, you know, or just like in public. I'll be walking by myself and like that's so funny sometimes it comes out on the street you know or just like in public i'll be walking by myself and be like i'm gonna fucking kill around here that's normal that's like saying hi to a neighbor that that that or i will call myself like the the f the f word yeah i'm like you're such a grow the fuck. Well, that's the second phase of it.

The first is that fucking violent scream, that roar. Because it really does. It's almost like running after a hangover. You know how your body starts to get that tingle? Yeah. And it's gone for a while. It removes all that cloudiness. Yeah.

And that cobweb of fucking... It's a prayer. It's a version of a prayer. Right. Yeah. It's the way... I'm paying some penitence Yeah yeah Yes McKeever used to do

He would say ESPN He screams ESPN ESPN Which is so funny Screams ESPN That's how I learned He screams ESPN And I just scream

I go And it just like Gets it Gets it going Yeah It's like when you fucked up At school growing up You would scream fuck Or punch a wall And you're like It it, gets it gone. Yeah. It's like when you fucked up in school growing up, you would scream fuck or punch a wall

and you're like, it's gone. Yeah. I remember punching my fucking bedroom wall when I would get upset about something. Really? Oh, hard, hard punch. Or in like in baseball or football, I would get on my, my hands and knees and punch the ground as hard as I could. But I never did that.

The pain coming back through your system was a shock enough for you to lose that feeling of vulnerability. Yeah. You had something else to concentrate on. Yeah. This is the dust on the mirror.

It's dust on the mirror in a little bit. Exactly. This is dust. A punch in the ground or a drywall is dust in the mirror. Cleaning the dust off the mirror

is me punching my fucking pants. Yeah, you're like, oh, my hand's fucked. Now I gotta fix this. I can't play baseball anymore I gotta fix this problem I guess I gotta clean with this hand now

no I remember when I was little my mom told me to punch a pillow yeah but that's that's my point I punched the pillow it has to punch back

it has to break yeah I remember punching a pillow and being like what the fuck it's taking this it's taking this with almost no effort

yeah the pillow's absorbing this punch. The problem is it's dealing with it. You see the wall break, you go like, yeah. Yeah. The world is being affected. Right, by my dog shit. You punch a pillow, it's like, yeah, what else you got?

That's a great point. And so it's like it's another thing mocking you. Yes. It's a fucking genius. This is why she told you to punch the pillow, not the wall. Yeah, but she... Meanwhile, my dad's like, get out there and hit the barn. Because they're thinking, like, it gets the energy out.

It's like, no, no, no, no. Something needs to break. Yeah. My hand or the wall. Yeah. We got two options here, Gene. Yeah. But I never had that feeling.

The moment I broke something, I went right into guilt. I'm just like, wait. What's the worst thing you broke you fucking break you know I used to I used to throw controllers I used to smash

I almost did it last night I swear to god yeah I almost did it last night really yeah the controller oh oh oh yeah

I almost gronked that fucking controller after I missed that last putt all over this fucking this fake Italian marble I broke a controller the other night you didn't do it on purpose no no i was swinging and i had that out of your hand yeah i had that other grip on it and

i just that hundred dollar bet we got going dude don't break the controller because i went up to order another one and they're like back order yeah yeah they're back for fucking animals slamming controllers and losing fucking golf oculus is going through a lot of controllers. The game is so good, dude. It is. It's so good. I got to put some hours in on the greens. Yeah.

I got to pee, dude. All right. Yeah, we're over now. We're doing good. All right. We'll go. We'll jump over to Patreon. Sorry this episode's late.

I apologize. Say what's great about the upcoming content we have. Yeah, we've got, we're, now we got this guy. We're really excited about this fucking, the food stuff. And hopefully this Gang Fest video as well. And the other food stuff coming up.

My haircut fits. Yeah, haircut fits. We got a lot of backlog shit. Yeah, yeah. We shot a bunch of crap. Not realizing what the workload is. But we're busy. Yeah, go piss.

All right, I'm in St. Louis and Kansas City this weekend too.