Stuff Island - Stuff Island #15 - conflict resolution w/ Brendan Sagalow

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

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We've been playing... What? What is that? We've been... What is that? Fuck you, dude. It's like... It is your hair.

A little bit. Yeah, kind of. If all I did was sing the teenagers on a boardwalk. You look great. You little fucking cherub. I gotta let you... I like it. He is a lovely cherub.

I will never... I bought this for you. You want it? Yeah, yeah. I'll have it. What? Take some time in between vaping for a little sip of pop? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did I show you? Thank you for getting beers. You're welcome, bro. Are we recording? Yeah. Welcome, everybody, to Stuff Island. We don't fucking do that here. Oh, no.

We'll clip that. We don't fucking do that here. We'll clip that immediately. Yeah, no. You have all of the editing. You know, you can do whatever you want. Chris will tell you that. I don't do that.

Well, that's the thing is we don't. He does. We barely edit. that well that's the thing is you guys don't we he does we did we barely edit yeah that's all now you've created an edit what now shit dude and you gotta be at the airport in six hours you are a lovely little cherub though thank you very much yeah i mean you know how like yeah certain people if they lost weight they look like like elephants dying i have lost their bone structures you're not gonna say this about me no well no you're not gonna say you know how some people look like like dead elephants if they lose weight and then go that's brendan as well no no when i started because it sounded like that i feel like you could be super hot. Yeah, you'd look good. You'd either look insane and terrible or incredibly hot. Well, I'll tell you who it.

I just lost 15 pounds. Yes, dude. That's great. Doing keto, but I think I've gained about four back. I haven't weighed myself yet. Yeah, keto seems like one of those things that's not really sustainable. Well, yeah, you can't do it forever, but I did it for three weeks, lost 15 pounds, and now I want to just keep doing it. Let me reiterate. Can I do my impression of Tommy that I've wanted to do yes this is my

sorry I didn't mean to cut you off but this is my impression I was about to compliment you so make this fucking good I think I figured you out switch this fat compliment real quick you go like this you go what yeah dude I get a lot of comments being like, I'm purposely doing this hack to Nero impersonation. I'm like, no, this is just my stupid face getting overly oiled up. Yeah. I'm like fucking concentrated Dego sometimes when I get a little upset or excited. What? It goes both ways.

You always... True happiness, my face goes wild. True anger and sadness, my face goes wild. Yeah, you do this thing where it looks like you're trying to fathom what's happening in front of you. Yeah. That's the face. Yeah. You know, before this, I realized.

When he came out of the womb, that's what he did. He's like, what? Yeah. Shane does that all the time. What the fuck? What? Delivery? It's hard to get in the zone with animals like you guys.

I can't just be myself because there's always somebody saying, are you doing that on purpose? Are you acting like this on purpose? I would never ask if so. Well, I don't know. I don't never say never, right? All right, here's my fat compliment. Hit me.

So it's going to be a big compliment. No, it is. PH compliment. My fear is when, he's one of of the most lovable fun guys to hang out with he's like foley level yeah always fun always funny no pressure always on you know what's garbage um a fridge in the garage no i don't i just don't want my fat friends that i really adore to to lose weight because then it just changes there's like a mechanism within your mind and your heart that it's like an off-putting thing.

It's like... Yes, you fear change. Yeah. It's like a girl getting like giant fake breasts. It's like you were fine the way you were, baby. I know. Unless the giant fake breasts look fucking awesome. They never do.

They never do. I feel like sometimes they do. Not in the eyes, not on the hands, not in the mouth. Big giant fake titties, it's like trying to get a beach ball in your face. It's terrible. I want to lose weight because whatever. I don't think I even need to lose weight. I don't think you do either.

That's not what I'm saying. There are some friends that we have, garbage, that probably I would like them to lose weight. Dude, imagine if Foley was like 155, 165. If he got down to that, he would just be wearing a dress at all times. Dude, I'd be hot too. He's got a nice chiseled face. Yeah, he used to be a hot kid, right? He's still good looking.

Yeah, he is. He's got like that Girold to like box jaw. I mean, he's got a square head. Great hair. You ever stare at somebody's head and wonder how they came out of the vagina? And if that altered the course of their head shape? See, I think it's more about how you sleep as a kid. Really?

Smashes the back of your skull in? Yeah, yeah. People with a flat back of the head? No. Yes, yes. They just don't move? Or they have no pillow? Yeah, they just lay on their back.

And it just flattens the shit out. Yeah, but the soft top, there's an opening in the top of the skull, not the bottom. No, all the seams. Because. Yeah, all the seams. Because Yeah, all the seams. Watch my plank. That's fucking aggressive. It looks like it needs some caring. Why are you going to grab it and start chewing on it?

Are you kidding? That's green. I would never eat that. Yeah, no, all the seams are soft. Yeah. Because it's not completed yet. Well, yeah, we need a big brain but a woman's hips can only be so wide before it's not completed yet well yeah we get we need a big brain but a woman's hips can only be so wide before it's they're gonna get all kinds of injury change soon the way these ladies have been shaping up no no no a lot of bigger hips bigger brains skulls are gonna be totally for right knee surgery

rectal vaginas mayhem in the vagina section just yeah oh yeah you think about people like Nicki Minaj Who have these big thighs And big ass And you're like How does she shit How does she have babies How does she not come out Through that

She's got bad breath face You think she has bad breath face Nicki Minaj does Why She's up there She's one of the One of the biggest Bad breath faces

Why do you say that Really There's certain people That just have a bad breath face What the fuck Well we're asking you to be more descriptive bad breath what do you mean who's that breath i think the only one that beats her i've never been in the room with who's the other rapper um a woman rapper that's like the biggest

cardi b cardi b one of the worst bad breath faces I've ever seen. And what is this? They just look dirty. Not that they're not beautiful women. They just look, their mouths look like unkempt. Clean this up. You think so? Pull a rabbit out of a hat. It's like we got a lot of editing. What the?

No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me try to. It's just these girls. They look, what's that other rapper? They both look filthy. Jesus Christ. No, no, no.

Hold on. What the fuck? There's... Pick a white lady. There's college. There's... Does she have bad breath face? Heidi Klum.

If you don't understand what I mean by just saying that, then you'll never understand. There's nothing I can tell you. See, that's... I see... Oh, all of a a sudden you. My mom. Walk in front of the door before Tommy gets to it. Jesus Christ.

I don't even know what I was going to say. I was going to say super bleached teeth and extra red gums, dark gums. You go bad breath. Why? Really? Because they're putting shit in there. You just feel like the gum health's not there. They're covering up what used to be shitty teeth with extra white like implants.

And so, you know, you can assume a bad breath face there. That I could get on board with. There's another level of this. That's my point. The whole point of this theory has nothing to do with what the inner workings of the mouth itself. It's how they look in the face

that has a bad breath vibe. They're very street like and like like just dirtier people yeah the bronx uh if what if i was hooking up bro if i was hooking up with like i'll have a whole list i tried to save it let's just get the elephant out of the room here all right bad breath face also has like another level of like morning breath, bad morning breath. Some beautiful women have terrible morning breath. And there's also an element of their face that will tell me that prior. Like what?

I can't say dirtier. Well, yeah. Like if their toothbrush seems clean. Again, it's not about hygiene. It's in the face. What about if it's like a super tiny nose? It's not getting a lot of ventilation in through the mouth. She sends stuff back to the kitchen.

Because of her tiny nose? Yeah, tiny nose women send stuff back to the kitchen without any remorse. I think if I was- I'll eat a fucking- Dude, if I order a $40 steak, it comes out not prepared. I'm eating that goddamn thing angrily, and I'll fight someone on the street to deal with my own shit that's not going back. That's a real scumbag move.

To send something back? Yeah, absolutely. Why is that a scumbag move? Unless it's a car that's broken down. You ordered a steak. Yeah, right. A specific way. This is not going to be a theory

that's going to be accepted well, but I think it's part of your... I agree with this. How your buyer's aware. I agree with this a thousand percent. Especially if it's a fun dinner with friends. Yeah. Because now, like, dude, just eat whatever comes out. with this a thousand percent especially if it's a fun dinner with friends yeah because now like dude just eat whatever whatever comes out eat it because i don't want some fucking negative energy

yeah affecting the vibe unless it's undercooked chicken or something of a health scare it's also even then puking the bucket underneath the table yeah get salmonella shit too you know what i mean there's always one just scaredy cat who's got to send chicken back. It's like, it's fine. I don't know what chef, there's a chef that was making a marinade.

Salt Bae? For another, no, for another, it's not a chef, he's a fucking clown dickhead. He was making a chicken marinade for someone.

Like, there was raw, now this story gets better, you better pick that vape pop. We're on the edge of our seats here. Whoa! It's got to be like a soap.

Sorry, there hasn't been a laugh in a few minutes. There was a chef that ate. He just sipped it. He's like, what's in this marinade? And there's raw chicken just chilling in it. Yeah. So then to another chef, and he was like, I just want to taste it taste it and he put a spoon it's been fucking with me for a long time yeah because i still can't fathom put a spoon in the raw chicken marinating just to see what the flavors were and i was like maybe it's maybe if

you just have one bite it's not that bad yeah he's probably it's probably good chicken too yeah you know what i mean yes this isn't like you can't take a bite out of a good organic piece of chicken. Raw. Well, he's not taking a big bite out of it. He's taking a little spoonful of the sauce. He also didn't ask what was in the marinade in terms of like acid to burn off the bacteria. The dude just dipped in a spoon, smoked it. The other guy was like, well, you must say you shouldn't be doing this at home.

No. Because people are too scared of that stuff. Don't you have a peanut allergy? No. Oh. Are you allergic to anything? I'm not allergic to anything. Are you allergic to anything?

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I used to think I was allergic to hot dogs because when I was in elementary school. Guess what? Turns out you're not. Turns out I couldn't be less allergic. I don't think anyone has a bacon allergy. I thought I was allergic to grease.

Turns out I just had diabetes. Turns out she said salad. Turns out. No, I used to think I was allergic to hot dogs because I used to eat them very fast and it would make me throw up. Jesus. Do you have to say it with a lisp, dude?

It's not helping. What? What do you mean? You would just... I would just eat them and And then I would be like, I was allergic to chugging beers. Was this on Coney Island? You want to contest it?

Yeah. I was near my friend Kobayashi. Yeah. Me and Joey Chestnut are both allergic to hot dogs. No, I don't send anything back, but, um, because also I don't want to wait. Because if you're getting a steak and then everybody gets their food at once,

I don't want to have to wait. Even if I was by myself, I'm eating it. I just had a dinner with my friend. It was terrible on both accounts. Came out cold. The quality was shit. And it was a decent price. And we're bickering about it to ourselves. It's fucking look at this it's a nice place it's really bad

there's not many people here I know they're not overworked which is a whole nother theory I'm gonna get into comes out shitty we're at the the bartender comes over and she's like everything all right we're like oh yeah yes thank you very very great yeah wonderful yeah like cuts off our arguing about how shitty everything is to don't put that on her. Then she's going to feel this guilt, and she thinks you're not going to tip her. You still tip at 20, 25, 30, whatever the fuck it is.

I would do the same thing, but I'm just going to argue for the sake of arguing here. What if you're just afraid of conflict? Oh, yeah. Me? Are you kidding? Yeah. I'm afraid of conflict? is this a theory for me specifically?

I don't know because if it's anything else on earth there's no fucking way I won't say something but why food? because he loves ambiance and inside of a restaurant is the only place where his love of ambiance

trumps his desire to pick a fight. Whoa. That's great. Fuck me. Can you hand me that lighter? That was crazy. Yeah. Speaking of ambiance.

Dude, that was nuts. Yeah, it's true. Maybe that's what it is because that is a thousand better to the staff uh better than the kitchen better than people just going look you know you can't win them all you don't get it look i'm also not talking about a fucking 600 hour meal yeah i mean like there's there's averages like uh 30 40 50 dollar meal like i don't i don't i don't fuck with any complaints. I have, yeah.

You know, if I overhear someone like, yes, but this person is very rude. It's a shut the fuck up. Well, you can do it. Here's, it does every, it's on Beyonce interference. It is. It's also interfering her whole life

because now that manager's going to be like, Carl, because she loves doing that shit. You know she loves doing that shit. You know who you got to start being nice to? Tommy. Yeah. I've she loves doing that shit. You know who you got to start being nice to? Tommy. Yeah. I've been coming around on myself. To be honest with you.

I actually do. You've been coming on yourself? I have been thinking about that. I've been dodging it out of respect. Are you saying you're like starting to... I no longer come on myself and that's being nice to me. All right. Meeting is over.

We're going to pick this back up next week. Sexual harassment class? Yeah. I have no longer been coming on myself and that's uh it's being nice to me all right meaning is over uh we're gonna pick this back up sexual harassment class we'll see yeah i have no longer been coming on my no i actually i i do have a a level of that that i've been working on it's like going to the stress levels coming down you know we've got we've gotten a little success with this and like in terms of happiness and things like that i feel very content with with what Chris and I are doing on and off camera. And I just, it's a weight that comes off your shoulders. I used to say this about people in Philadelphia. It used to be like an early bit of mine where like, Philadelphia is a very ugly city.

And I used to say it's based on, you know, we start off as beautiful babies, but it's just layers and layers of stress put upon us. And you start to shorten with this level of depression on your shoulders you start to hunch and then you have this mean mug from all the pressure and stress and anger and then your it shapes your face into a morphs into an angry ugly little fucking troll and it's a bunch of ugly trolls protecting their selves and their shitty lawns and their fucking shitty behaviors that's the

world baby yeah then they lie to themselves that this is the way A bunch of ugly trolls protecting themselves and their shitty lawns and their fucking shitty behaviors. That's the world, baby. Yeah. And then they lie to themselves that this is the way everything is. Yeah. And they never leave that little cesspool of anger and depression. So they don't know that other areas of people don't behave like that. Yeah. Well, it is tough when you're in an environment where you got to fight all the time.

Yeah, yeah. I wish we could. Are you afraid of conflict? Do you? Yeah, I'm very conflict avoidant it's something i've been working on for years just trying to like uh respect love myself really like really love myself because i was thinking about i was like you know you really you walk around going i love myself blah blah blah but like to have like, like real love for yourself is so fucking hard to be like, no, I'm fucking awesome. Like the way you love everything else. I really don't

feel that I put myself last on every totem pole for the most part. But with therapy, I have been confronting people. And here's the thing. Not every argument has to be a negative conflict. Not every conflict has to be an argument. True. Yeah. Which is something I say that. So like you sending food back, or if I wanted to send food back in your head,

you're going, ah, I'm going to make this chick's life of a living hell. She's going to get yelled at by her boss. You're just creating this fantasy world that does not need to exist. If you just go, you're going to hate me. Start everything like that, bro. go you're gonna hate me start everything like that bro you're gonna hate me that is a beautiful way to kick somebody out of your life yeah yeah you're gonna hate me but

you're gonna need to move your shit out of the house we are no longer married you are gonna be so mad at me when i tell you i've moved on you're gonna going to hate me. You're really going to. Please don't hate me. That rules. No, but that was very eloquently stated. Well, depending on the. So you think getting in more fights is about loving yourself? Well, at some level, I agree. Well, not fights, but like conflict. Well, fighting for yourself.

Standing up for yourself. Yeah. That's all about loving yourself. Damn. See, the fluctuations are going deep and then being silly gooses I know

well the thing is is that like I like do you guys normally like is there normally like yeah yeah yeah this is very much our vibe you're killing it

shut up nice start doubting yourself a little more you dickhead love myself love myself you literally just had a grasp on

on how it's been changing and then the next sentence immediately just showed us that it's not working yeah well you know i didn't want to like be like all right whoa guys that was really good and funny yeah that's cool all right see you i love you guys and then walk in you're like oh fuck dude wait something right chris chris only does this when he's getting everything bagel off his fingers. Or he's about to say something that will level you. Great. Can't wait.

This will, yeah, this is the only two times. I was saying that. Love myself and then I have a panic attack every time Mr. Burns goes out. I was thinking that like, I wish I was more like Machiavellian What was that girl like? No because I think Truly loving yourself Pop pop jokes are the best Truly loving yourself

Is knowing that you don't like conflict So Subterfuge What's she like? Truly loving yourself is knowing that you don't like conflict. So, subterfuge is what she likes. Fuck. Happy mind. Oh, fuck. Now I'm just thinking of words you guys can say eloquence but if you're not fighting for things that you know you deserve sorry i'm just gonna float no no he's mirroring

get away don't do what i did uh but if you're fighting for like things that you think you deserve then that trumps the whatever you were saying. Yeah. Subterfuge. Yeah. I just don't like raising my voice. You don't have to. That's a very powerful conflict.

If you can continue your messaging without elevating the level of your voice. Yeah. That is a powerful person and respected person. Yeah. It only comes, in my experience, from a parent who's beaten you. That's it. Cause they told you before and they say, pick it up.

Yeah. Yeah. And if there's no beating, there's like, no, you're like, pick it up. Yeah.

Little slap right on the ass or face. You'll pick it up. Yeah. I gotta start hitting you. No, it's, I use that. Yeah, you'll pick it up. I gotta start hitting you. No, it's, I use, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Simultaneously trying to sound like an expert in staying cool. Yeah, I know. I'm a nut. Well, also suggesting the only way to fix me is to hit you.

100%. 100%. We've already been through all the other stages, Chris. Actually, to this exact point is like when you're an adult

and living with another adult there's levels of frustration that you keep within you this is also there's a correlation with your learnings and through a therapist

but I wait to speak to him about something that really fires me up until we're on a really good headspace collectively where it's like things are really going well and I'm like can I talk to you to speak to him about something that really fires me up until we're on a really good headspace.

Collectively. Where it's like, things are really going well. And I'm like, can I talk to you about something real quick? Now granted, this is very few and far between. Usually it's like,

what the fuck is this? Don't get me wrong. I'm not fucking Buddha. But I've learned when you're battling someone else that's not 20, 30 years younger than you, you have to learn somewhat of a psychology around how do I reach who that person is and you have to realize that's a different person they react yeah a different way to you because they're different and what bothers them doesn't

bother you yeah so he's not doing it maliciously you know he's just he doesn't think and to ever wash his like i don't know why that's your problem no no it's not i was a joke you fuck no he makes it he makes it his problem no i mean like but look if you're in a social environment i don't care what goes on in this fucking bedroom if you're in a community room and i always have to take take take dude it's amazing how we always get back to this i'm sorry my point is conflict it's not about this it's conflict resolution yeah it's difficult because sometimes you need the timing to be right get back to this. I'm sorry. My point is conflict. It's not about this. Conflict resolution. Yeah. It's difficult because sometimes you need the timing

to be right. It's like a you know. It's huge. Yeah, yeah. It's huge. And you miss your window to say a thing or make a comment and then you're only left with just the idea of like bringing someone into a room and sitting them down and bringing up a thing is

a nightmare. It's a nightmare. And it also makes it way worse than it has to be. You know, if you're like sitting someone down and doing that, they're like, is this a fucking thing? Yeah. When you can just be like, oh, by the way, hey, I feel like I should tell you this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's also, there's a reason why when you're an actual altercation with somebody, verbal,

you're going to say something you regret because you, you're incapable of having these conversations on a frequent, but you know, frequent level where you're going to say something. You're like, Oh fuck. That came out from like two months ago when, when I felt you did this to me.

Yeah. It's like if, if I had that level headedness to be like, we kind of talked about something. I know you may, maybe didn't mean it, but when you said this in front of that fucking person That really bothered me Yeah

Well also I like I'll match energy Yeah yeah yeah So Yeah I got a life In my pocket too If someone starts to elevate

I start going up too You know Yeah Like it's hard to say It's hard to just You gotta physically Hold on Ground yourself

You have to go Think Be in that area Be in that space Like it's so hard What are that space like it's so hard what are you laughing at it's so hard he's already got me done sorry he said match energies and I just pictured like me like lying down to tell Chris something you know what's hard I'm just like, I would really like it if you clean that middle room. You got a can with a string on it.

You know, what's hard for me is like knowing how I feel in the moment it's happening because like, I can't, I get overwhelmed when there's some sort of conflict or something. And then I just walk away. And then it takes me like a week to be like, Hey,

remember that thing you said five days ago? Yeah. Or like, yo, I just, I just got bitched out recently on the road in grand Rapids. I was selling t-shirts. I'm selling merch. Yeah. And some guy walks over and he's like, he's drunk. And he's like, is this your shirt? I was like, yeah.

I was like, yeah, dude. And he's like this fucking, he goes, who would buy this? And I was like, you know, a lot of people have bought this. And he's like, how much? And I was like, $30. And he's like, what? For this? And I just couldn't think of being like, fuck you, man. Because, you know, whatever.

So I just took my stuff. I packed my shit up. And I went into the green room. Really? You broke down the whole merch stand because this guy was being a drunk dickhead? Well, this was the second show. And I sold most of the shirts on the first one. And I was fucking high. So I was tired most of the shirts on the first one, and I

was fucking high. So I was tired. I couldn't do it. Yeah, but that's also a good move. That's a very powerful move to go, I'm not going to waste or expend any of this physical energy right now to fucking tell this guy. He's not going to learn anything by this. Yeah.

If you're the type of person to instinctively feel this guy needs to hear that I don't like his t-shirt, you're a fucking scumbag that needs to feel anything. Yeah. Anything. It's like somebody logging onto YouTube and going, this stinks. Yeah. That's a broken loser. What a loser. What a fucking scumbag that needs to feel anything. Yeah. Anything. It's like somebody logging onto YouTube and going, this stinks. Yeah. That's a broken loser. What a loser.

What a fucking loser. Because it doesn't stink. It doesn't stink. And you went into the green room, you started to think about the clothes he had on. Yeah. I could have just said, fucking, you bought that piece of shit. And I'll have you know, we sold every t-shirt. All 11 t-shirts.

Congrats, bro. Congrats. So suck my fucking balls. I'm looking forward to somebody making fun of my turtleneck draped over a fucking folding table. You're selling. Congrats, bro. Congrats. So suck my fucking balls. I'm looking forward to somebody making fun of my turtleneck draped over a fucking folding table. You're selling turtlenecks?

And I'm ready. As merch? Guess what's not gonna happen? That's in the can. Me breaking down the fucking table and going in the green room. Are you just selling

turtlenecks? I'm going right to jail. Are they gonna... Breaking through the table. Is your merch gonna say anything or are you just selling turtlenecks? Are you busting my balls with a nose ring and dyed hair? I'm not busting your balls at all.

I'm not busting your balls. Hold on. I'm sorry. Can I talk to you for a second? Let's lay down. Chris just starts wiping down the table. We're all changed. I think that's a great idea for merch.

There you go. There you go. Eat it and then jump back in your car and go, what a fucking loser. I think it's funny to sell merch without like your name or anything. You're just buying clothes. Well, we've talked about this before on the Patreon, but there's going to be like, we're having variables of simple merch that people just want to wear a t-shirt or a hoodie.

And then I have an idea of elevated... People with a fashion sense or want to wear a t-shirt that reps you, but have the same stitching color. Just has a nice sheen. It'll be a discreet logo. That's very cool. In discreet.

It'll be high fashion. Yeah. Cool to wear a hat, a fucking apron. very cool. In discreet. It'll be high fashion. Yeah. It's the idea. A cool-dory hat. A fucking apron. I have an idea for merch that you guys should do. Bow ties. Shirts. Polo shirts.

With a little guy riding a horse in the corner. You interrupted my apron talk, Chris? You know what? The funny thing is, if you had said said no but it would be like on an island yeah I was waiting for the next part I was like on board you should sew you guys riding it's actually pretty good

a couple of them would be extra big do like the regular do like the regular expensive shirts but add you guys to it so instead of like a little alligator you'd be great on a horse with them bow legs yeah it would be you can honestly the alligator's face can we stop this right now i don't know where's my camera i'm dead serious Wait, this actually is kind of a good idea. No, it's not. Dude, you just take other logos and put your face on them. Yeah. It's like what Big Dog did with television shows.

It's like when you rip a song, you have to change one chord to get it published on YouTube. It would just be an alligator with your face. Yeah. It actually Is funny That's Lacoste Yeah Yeah yeah

That's for You don't like Lacoste No it's for Loud mouthed teenagers That wear way too much cologne Tell me about that Oh yeah They're altercation kids

In the west Kids that hang around the mall Looking for a fight Yeah I was that kid Yeah Not looking for a fight But I went to malls all the time

Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, I fuck you. I bought a pug in a mall in a mall. I've never fucked in a mall No, no, I never even made out actually if you I fucked in a pf Chang's that was connected to a mall That's that count counts, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like secondary. Yeah. Yeah What do you mean? It was like a parking lot? No No Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that's part of the mall. Yeah. Yeah. Or you mean it was like in the parking lot? No, no. It was connected, but it went outward. Like it had its own separate entrance, and then you walked into the mall as well. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's part of the mall.

Yeah, that was like my mall. We did that too. I think it was Cherry Hill. Could be. Yeah. Could be. I'm trying to think of the strangest place I've fucked. We just hung out.

On a beach? You know. Did a bunch of shit. Got into fights. Were you skateboard beach? You know, did a bunch of shit. Got into fights. Were you like, were you a skateboarder? I was, yeah. And I was skating in the mall and stuff and like fucking skating past the Spencer's Gifts. That story's where it's at.

Fucking with security. I mean, you almost look like a movie character that would do that right now. We were getting yelled at for something. And then the security guy Was like screaming at us And then a bunch of fucking kids ran behind him And he went I got bigger fish to fry And then he ran and chased them

Yeah he said I have bigger fish to fry And chased these fucking kids And you know it's not funny It's not that funny now But at the time it was like That was like the closer We were like we have to leave the mall if i can make this into an adult example i got pulled over running a stop sign in west philly yeah and

the cop came up to me and he was like you've been drinking and i was like just like like like two a two or three it was like hours ago i wasn't fucked up but i did have beer and i was like hours ago. I wasn't fucked up, but I did have beer and I was like, I admitted it. And, um, he's like asking me more questions. His attitude didn't seem to change as if like he was a cool cop. Yeah. And then I was like, fuck, I shouldn't have said that. Cause sometimes they just like you being honest. But like, if you're younger, I think it was like 23.

I literally, he literally gets a call on his talkie and it says like, whatever the number is, like they need a black guy. They need a backup. And he was like, it's your lucky day, dude. Don't run another fucking stop sign. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. And you're like, thank God.

Just crack one in the backseat. What a lucky me. I deserve a drink. I wish they were all as stupid as you. Yeah. No, never tell the truth. I know. You ever get into fights with, like, trouble with the police?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got arrested. I was, like, hanging out with my freshman year girlfriend in college. I went to, like, Wildwood. And we were just, like, sitting in a house. And we left, and we had not been drinking at all,

and we got in the car, turned the headlights on, and there was just a big cop in front of us, and he was like, get out of the car. We're like, all right. Like a fat cop? Yeah, he was a fat guy, and he walked us back to the house,

opened the front door, told everyone to come out. There was like... Were you the first to leave the house? They were just waiting on someone to leave? And there was literally like four people in there.

Also, you can't do that, right? No, no, no. No, that's illegal. So then they pull us out and we're like, what is happening? Like, we haven't done anything. And it was a split level house.

Then they start pulling out of the bottom floor, like 50 drunk teenagers in costumes. They load us all into paddy wagons. Shut the fuck up. Yes. And arrested everybody? Yes. And then. How old were you?

17, 18? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So then I tell, you know, I go home. He probably just wanted to pat some of those ladies down. He probably just wanted to pat some of those ladies down. What? He wanted to pat some of those ladies down.

Yeah, yeah. It's a big fat cop thing to do. Yeah. Arrest them. I asked them. All the women. I want to arrest them. I asked them to breathalyze me, and they were like, no.

Just skip that. You probably could have sued your town. Well, no. It wasn't my town. It's Wildwood. Oh, Wildwood, right. So then I go back to Connecticut. I tell my parents, my dad's like, we're going down there.

Like my dad was going to represent me. And we literally, we spent days like literally like a few good men preparing. Your dad drove from Connecticut to Wildwood because you got a ticket? Well, no, because we went back for the court date. It's literally a citation. No, it was $1,000 worth of fines. It was a noise complaint. Yeah, he spent $2,000 in gas.

That's like, you're back on... I don't go to that Wawa anymore. The pencils are too expensive. We won. I'm going to drive 20 minutes in the opposite direction. The thing was, in his mind, he was jacked up. Yeah, I bet. He was like, this will be fun.

He literally thought he would be like, did you order the code red? He thought he would be in there biting him. You can't handle the juice of my son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we go down to Wildwood. We go into the courtroom. We, like, we hear, we hear, and it's like me. No, I know.

It's me and my dad and my. I bet your dad birthed you out of his ass. He didn't even come from your mom. Dude, it was so funny because we overheard the cop talking to the judge that like me and my girlfriend tried to run and he grabbed us. And we were both like athletes. Yeah. It was some fat. Yeah.

You never would have touched us, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Everybody outside.

No, no. We're going to do that race. So I know exactly how to solve this. So I'm like, Dad, did you hear that? He fucking lied. We're going to bury this guy. You know what I mean? And then it's literally us in a courtroom full of teenagers that none of their parents are there.

Were you embarrassed? What? Were you embarrassed? A little bit, but I was fired up. I kind of wanted to see what happened. And then literally outside. Your dad just stuttered for 10 minutes. Outside, there was just a lawyer going like,

whoever's in trouble for that thing, we're going to just bump everything down to like a $50 noise complaint. You can just pay this and get the fuck out of here. And so it was just, we were like. Slow clap. No, no, we were bummed. Oh, because your dad didn't get a chance.

We wanted to like have it out, but it's like, oh yeah, we're going to pay 50 bucks and go home. I'm gonna fucking yeah you had a whole speech my dad's not a lawyer he's like ladies and gentlemen of the jury i'm wondering why santiago wasn't packed it's just three teens popping their gum yeah yeah is justice not real anymore? Are you doing a whole speech? If you prick me, do I not bleed? That's so fucking funny.

That's the fucking best. It's such a dad move. I know. It's so fucking. And we literally drove back disappointed. It's weird. I feel like my dad would never protect my honor in terms of the law like that. Because that was their opportunity to like, you fucked up. You know, like I couldn't give you, you know, punish you.

Some level of punishment in a previous attempt that wasn't really warranted. Like, you know what I mean? It's an easy out for a parent to be like you fucked up i told you yeah i've been telling you stop hanging on the golf course with the older kids you're gonna get in the trouble and then my mom be like yeah i bet you smoking too steve like she would say some dog shit like that that's his opportunity to go yes damn it's almost like they want you to get picked up once yeah but this was this was like this is 25 like love for me and wanting to protect me. It's 75%.

That's showing up. My dad likes a system. Yeah. And he likes breaking it down. And he wants to see, he wants an argument. Wouldn't that be great if he walked up there and was like, your honor, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He just used his lessons. Yes. My dad is quick to call somebody a Nazi. He's quick to be like, this is Nazi Germany. Oh, my God. That's social media today. No, my dad wants to like judo a thing back. Like the system is bound by its own rules and therefore has to let me free.

What does your dad do? He's just an engineer. Just an engineer. Oh, he's an engineer. He engineers the law. He's just a doctor Yeah No he'd like

Draw the dude A picture of a bridge Yeah And be like This is why This argument doesn't Look if my son Was leaving the party

At 50 miles an hour And the cop Was running Do you know I think people Of that caliber Like that high intellect Maybe your father's

Really smart I feel like they don't Get enough stimulation In their position at work probably like i uh one of my brothers is is very very good at his job and it's so natural that i don't think he gets enough pleasure in performance even if the performance is monetary gain. Yeah. I think life situations like this for some people that are, that are so zoned into the, and great at their job, it gives them a chance to feel something.

Yeah. But he, he gets a lot out of it. Like he, like, dude, I think I told you this story literally over the pandemic. So my dad was like managed the turnpike expansion.

And that was him. Yeah. I heard about this. Yeah. I don't know if you know. the turnpike expansion and that was him yeah yeah yeah believe me the one that started it all he he got he would get me fired up he was a real he was right there he was a turnpike rock star. When it comes to turnpikes, he learns axle roads. You'll never buy a beer in this town again, buddy. But no, so they had to add like a foot of just like pavement on the side of the road for some runoff issue that they had. And literally he drove down in the right lane looking over me at it and going, oh, fuck, they did a good job. God damn,

they did a good job. It was the craziest. And he's 68. He's been doing this for 40 years. You know, like he still is getting a hard on at just the good work

they do. Yeah, for everybody that's watching, this is why Chris jerks off the boats. No, so I think he still does get a lot of like a lot of pleasure out of just a just like a like a gantt chart running smooth like just a nice flow a good process oh that's so funny yeah it made me jealous i was like oh i hope i like i hope i give this much of a fuck about like you could you can

make his casket in the shape of a bridge when he dies you gotta give a fuck for him you know yeah fill it with granite uh your story reminded me of like this because it's like it's those things that happen when you're teenagers or when you're really young that you're like the world is like like you against the world and then it's the uh you could just pay it for 50 bucks whatever i i got no it's true it's everything is so dramatic when i was in high school i got into a fight and um like they knocked me out and i woke up in the hospital i I had this bad concussion. And after me and my parents were like, we're going to the police.

We're going to fucking do this. And we like walked in and whatever. And we sat down with a cop and he's sitting and he's like, so what happened? And I said like, oh, this guy was going to throw a rock at my friend's car. So I jumped on the guy and blah, blah, blah. And the cop's just like, ah, he he's like technically we should be arresting you because he's like yeah you jumped on him but we're not gonna do that because he's not gonna whatever and i like and i i think i had just seen like boondock saints so i was like like i was like

i guess i have to get the vengeance myself i was like if the law enforcement isn't going to help me. The system is broken. Only one man. Cut to me in a bat helmet just punching me. Vigilante justice. The system's not broken. Your skateboard is, you little fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somerville was a sleepy little town. So did you tell your parents exactly what happened prior to going to the station?

Well, no, because I don't remember it and I still don't remember it. It's fucking crazy. I got hit in the face with a bottle on a bar, a bar fight, which was the greatest bar fight in my life. Uh, 23. Anyway,

I got, I had like, like so many bar fights. This is the greatest. No, no, I can't, I'm not going to tell it.

I've told it before. Uh, I had like 60 stitches. Oh my God. Yeah. Just missed my eye. I have like 25 stitches Oh my god Yeah just missed my eye I have like 25 Right here under my eyebrow

Jesus Beautiful placement Just Bud Light bottle Right over my fucking mouth Oh good lord So I tell my dad You know

All this shit And those legal ramifications And all that stuff And he was like You know He was just talking He was like Let me see

I open the door My fucking You know You get two black eyes A fucking you got a little angle in your beak and everything's swollen and shit. He goes, no, you're fine. And I was like, what do you mean? And my dad's, my dad's nose looks like a, like a runoff, like backyard or a back, like

a back road in a, in a farm town. Like it's got angles that like you've, it's crazy. Yeah. And there's scars and things everywhere. He was, he in a farm town. It's got angles that you... Right, right. It's crazy. And there's scars and dings everywhere. He was a bruiser. Yeah. And he's like, no, you're fine.

All I'm worried about is... Because I was worried about my eye stretching down this way and my nose because there was a shark fin that opened up. You could fucking touch the bone in my nose. Oh, my God. Dude, it was great. I literally fell, tackled this dude, and then I had to, like, army crawl into another room

where they didn't know we were fighting. So I came through this curtain. Don't go in there. This girl, she was playing pool with her boyfriend. She was like, ah! This went nuts, dude. Oh, yeah. Just a bloodbath all over my

shirt oh my god dude but anyway the point is like he he was always getting like out of like thinking about challenging the law or like any of that bullshit what did he do what was his job my father yeah he was uh i laughed when i when we did the yeah yeah no, he worked for Sears in white collar, and then he went blue collar and ran a warehouse in South Philly. Yeah, yeah. All right. No, it's not like not picking up what I'm putting down.

It's not like that. He worked at a Sears. It's not like that. But my brother has the same similarities of like, so my mom calls me two days ago. This is cute. This is an adorable story about my nephew. He's like

she goes Tommy your brother ratted out on the sea is people listen if you know what I'm saying you're close so my nephew tells my mom they're very close he's I think he's like six seven he's probably 13 no he's like a young kid and he was like this girl stole my Pokemon. So I can't bring my Pokemon cards to school anymore. And my mom's like, who stole the Pokemon cards? Tell me your name. I'll go down there.

No one's stealing your cards anymore. And her name was like, whatever, like Malo Soprano. So she, like a few days go by. I guess her name was like mallory or some shit and my nephew goes to my mom he goes gg mallory's up to up to her tricks again

she stole cheese curds out of like frank's lunchbox and he goes don't tell dad though you can't tell dad because my dad told me that you don't snitch on anybody no matter what i'm like holy shit me and my mom are just cackling over the phone like he's already telling this kid like i don't care what happens to you you don't stitch me he's like i just lost pokemon cards no wonder they're so fucking dramatic at a young age well there is a difference between snitching and telling you know what i mean snitching is and i saw a whole internet video about this snitching is if you do a crime with someone and you guys both agree we're gonna do the crime and then you rat them out to get a better true whatever whereas telling is if a crime happens around you yeah

and you are getting in trouble and the cops cops are like, whose crack is that? And the guy's like, nobody says anything. But it's not your crack. It's this dude's crack. You just go, that's his crack, sir. Yeah, right. That's telling. No problem with that.

Yeah, also, it's like, you snitched to family, right? Yeah, wouldn't he be snitching? It's just funny that that's how he compressed his... Who knows what my brother actually said to him. Right, right, right. But he took it so dramatically because he's a child. He's like, Dad told me you can't snitch on anybody. Dad says you never rat out your friends. I'm willing to bet that's what he said.

It's 100% what he said. Also, if you knew my brother... I don't think a kid's coming up with that. If you knew my brother, it was after he was hitting the horn on a Saturday off. Dude, that happened to me once where we... You probably saw a rerun of Goodfellas. It was like, come here, let me tell you something. Yeah, you never rat out your friends.

Sit down. And now I'm going to have to turn my back on you. You bitch out Mallory one more time, I swear to God. I'm going to have to turn my back on you. You're sleeping in the woods. Dude, it's so funny because my parents, as long as I've known them, have been like teetotalers. They don't drink like really ever.

Like they'll have a beer at like an event or something like that. They don't really booze. But I think when my dad was younger, he would, I don't know. I don't know whether he was just having a couple bad days or like he would just, he popped a few. Because there was sometimes like, and one time in particular I remember I came home and we had gotten a whole don't smoke lesson

from the school yeah and I was like dad like and I must have been seven or eight I was like dad people who smoke

are like they're bad people they're like fucking up they're like not good and he just I just remember sitting in like his spot on the couch

and just looking at me and go, Chris, everybody smokes. And I was like, what did you smoke? He's like, yeah, I smoked. I tried it when I was a kid. I had a few cigarettes and I was like, oh shit. And I just went into school the next day. Start smoking. No, no. A full mouthful. Everybody smokes. My dad smokes. And the teacher was like, okay, let's pick up from yesterday where we were talking about how bad smoking is.

And I was just like, my dad said everybody smokes. And they were like, and the guy, I'm pretty sure the guy was like, your dad doesn't know what he's talking about. And I was like, my dad?

My dad knows what he's talking about and i was like my dad my dad knows what he's shot like i like it was like full waterworks meltdown like you don't say anything you see that turnpike over there they told me to leave they told me basically my dad's driveway tell that to the man who built that Dude They made me leave the room I had to stand out in the hallway That's crazy They do leave the room Yeah yeah It was a whole like

One time I was in Conference When I was in 8th grade I was Resting on like 24 demerits You get 25 You get suspended for a week If I get suspended

I'm getting my ass whooped. So I'm fucking tiptoeing around this the last, there's like two weeks left of school and we're getting our papers graded and my parents

were also punishing me if I didn't have really good grades. Anything less than like a 90, you're fucked. She's calling out the papers, Miss Rupert.

She says the grade. I'm like, Miss Rupert. She says, the grade. I'm like, oh, come on. And you have to like, walk up in the middle of the class in front of everybody, grab the paper.

Humiliating. A real big fucking shaming. It's a real bad thing to do to children. So, because she calls out all these shitty grades. Like,

that kid's fucking dumb. Look at this idiot. Yeah. And we're ruthless to each other. So it was fucking, it was great. Fun time, typically.

Unless you're in the fucking idiot scale. So she hands me. I look at the paper. I'm like, come on. She goes, unfortunately, your grade is in the idiot scale. I've got some bad news. I've been running the numbers. Good news is you'll be eating gummy bears the rest of your life.

Fucking moron. So she goes, I said, oh, come on. She goes, oh, come on yourself. And I was like, I don't want to come on myself. And I only did it at a pure rage. I didn't even know what I said. You almost did it tight. And everybody just starts like jiggling.

How old were you? Eighth grade Thirteen Twelve So I'm fucking I turn around And I'm like gathering What was just said

Because I'm judging the faces Of all the kids in the classroom Like oh no And then I played it back in my head I was like oh no no no I didn't She goes get out And stand in the hallway

Whoa So now I'm in the hallway. I'm like, there's no way I can't. I mean, I can't get a demerit. I'm fucked. Yeah, yeah. She goes to the principal, who's a nun, obviously. Tells this nun that I said I don't want to come on myself.

So they're going fucking wild. Probably diddling themselves. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm starting to get enraged with what oh yeah get back to my mom my mom's a fucking she's a night nurse at so she needs rested shit she's got working 12-hour shifts at the university of penn my mother has to come to the hallway

she looks at me she goes what did you do when i was like i didn't do any i was just i'm just whispering in the hallway she finally gets called into the principal's office. I could hear it. It's a small Catholic grade school. Everything is so compact. And I hear them yelling. And this is when I truly understood my mother and I was like, this woman is the fucking best, dude.

She went to bat for me. She knows I possibly could have said that of course I could have. I'm a fucking 13-year year old kid. All you talk about is common boners and drawing cocks on fucking mirrors. Dirty cars. You're self-absorbed with penis for like 13 years.

Of course. 13 years. I'm still. I've been slowing down. I know what you're going. And I gotta tell you, slowing down a little bit. So I hear her going. I hear her screaming going, he doesn't. I didn't hear what you said.

I heard what you said. I thought you guys were, what's your name? That was good. I'm sorry. So I hear going, he doesn't even know. He doesn't even know what that means. Come on yourself. That is disgusting.

You should be sad and you should be angry with yourself the principal's leaning on like the speakers that are going out into the school so then she comes in the hallway she's like you're coming home with me and I was like I have like classes and stuff and she's like now you're suspended for a week and I was for a week I was like mom I can't I didn't do this i'm trying to tell her and she's like look i don't give a shit if you did or not but you know these people are crazy the best thing to ever hear from a parent exactly yeah is that your teachers are nuts and my nuts it's just about getting through it yeah exactly and no that chink in the armor would

have never fucking that would never happen that shift at 13 years old with my mom was when a friendship started to blossom Yeah, because prior to that she was just somebody I sucked on the tits for a while and then she took me to shop Kind of a discipline. Yeah, that was it We went to pathmark fucking Marshall's and I she'd milk me and then I grew up a little bit Then we'd still go to pathmark and Marshall So then that was like oh shit she's a real person because i only saw her as the shell of a of a nurse that took care of me and brought me around and babied me because i was the last she had yeah and i was like oh shit you're a fucking cool chick yeah your mom's a cool chick

yeah but then my dad's still fucking you know he went he went ham how did he react to you getting he was okay to be honest with you, that wasn't, there was one more, that got me to 25, yeah, that got me to 25, but there was one more fight. I got 15 demerits for fighting in the school yard. Demerits? Yeah, they call them demerits. They used to call it jug.

Would you go to Hogwarts? Catholic school, it's the same fucking thing. 13 points for Tommy's house. That's another nice moment when your dad's about to blow his stack on some news and your mom goes, now, let me tell you something. The shift. Yeah, yeah.

And he goes, all right. Yeah. Oh, that's the best. Yeah, they fucked up. You're like, oh, now I have a week off and I'm not in trouble? Yeah.

Did you have to get tutors during that time? No. Or that you just fucking partied? No, it's fucking grade school. It was like 17 fucking morons. Oh. I got suspended for six weeks. It was all tutors and shit.

Yeah. What? That cop I caught you, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That mall cop brought a knife to school? Yeah. Six weeks, though. I know, that's pretty crazy.

With intent? To kill everyone. Yeah, I brought a gun. Did you look like this? What? Did you look like this in high school? Oh, worse. There were no shooters, though, yet. You know what I mean? There were. There were a few. What? Did you look like this in high school? Oh, worse. There were no shooters, though, yet.

You know what I mean? There were. There were a few. Really? Well, there was Columbine. There was Columbine. Oh, how young were you? I was born in 1991.

Oh, Jesus. All right. Yeah. But there was Columbine, and I think Virginia Tech happened like two years later. But I brought a knife to school, and I had a on me and, and this kid, Ryan Glassberg, um, shout out you fucking snitch. It's not his fault. I wouldn't have said his name if it was cause you don't ran on your friends.

But, uh, he, I, I would always like, I don't know. It was like a punchline that I would always say to him where like he was busting my balls about something. I go, you keep talking, I'm going to fucking cut you you and that we'd laugh about that yeah and then one time he went you know you're always saying that you're never you never do anything about it pulled it out and I saw the teacher like you know writing on the thing and I was like boom and I placed it on the table and she heard it and looked at me and I was like, oh, fucking. And Ryan was like, the teacher just saw what the fuck. And then her name is Miss Iovine.

She was a fucking smoke show, dude. Yeah, she was so hot. She was like the cheerleaders teacher or something. Yeah. She also taught biology. And she said to me, she was like, if you give me the knife, I will give it to you at the end of the the day and then you have to promise never to bring this in again and i was like all right where this is where i learned deny till you're dead yeah so you're gonna have to check me for that knife you fucking cunt yes and

i went all right and i gave her the knife and then literally i'm the next class i'm like drawing a penis on my paper and they're like rendon Brendan, say hello to the office, please. Right fucking now. And I go there and Miss Iovine is crying. She's crying because she probably had some weird fucking existential crisis. She thought she had to. About ratting me out. She has to tell them what they do to you is out of her hands. And she was probably now you realize it's like that was probably just some 25 year old girl

exactly she has to protect yeah but then so she goes into the office being like hey Brennan had a knife it's not that big of a deal and they're like

no it is a big deal and you start going like no no no exactly it starts fucking steamrolling it's snowballing and now I can't I can't take it back

yeah exactly so I have no beef they actually they put us in a room together for like a minute or like it felt like 10 minutes where she was just going I'm so sorry I hope you don't get in too much and I'm like

it's fine and I'm consoling her I'm going I'll beat off of those tears yeah yeah yeah exactly I go well I can think of some way you can somersault on this dick yeah yeah teach me about my biology so they they suspended me for six weeks it was crazy that's fucking ridiculous but i get it i get it i guess i get it but like no you also got to make an example you got to make an example he's

around the shoot school shooting days like yeah you got to do that i think like the gist of it was dude if i was in that situation when I went to fucking high school, they would have been like, don't bring this anymore. Don't be a fucking idiot. But context matters. You know what I mean? The context is there were school shooters around. If you've got a principal...

This look. You got to steal his stuff. I mean, worse, dude. Were you looking like you could... No, I looked like... I was probably wearing do-rags at this time as well. So. Get the fuck out of here.

Just do it on your wig face, dude. Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, I was like, that's why I had a knife because I was like listening to fucking. I'm walking. Yeah, I'm like 13, 14. I'm in 10th grade, either 10th or 11th grade. That rules.

Yeah, and I'm listening to like Stunt 101. You know, walking around having a knife on me with like a shady limited sweatshirt. Dude, we had guys in our high school. Yeah, you're fucked. We had something called Jug. Something called Jug, which stood for justice under God. So if you did something bad in class, and we had kids that would like bring. What a ridiculous acronym.

You know, Jug It's really Yeah, or It's really Hooters Divine sounding acronym Jug Justice Under God

It was looked after by Father Atkinson He was in a wheelchair He was a quadriplegic Okay But he was the man And he didn't give a fuck what you did Like, in Jug It was the only time I got to hang out with the fucking

The morons. Yeah. Justice under God. It was justice under God. And there was this one dude, like, I remember one time doing whippets in a school bag. Cool.

Like, you were taking computer duster and, like, just passing around whippets. He didn't give a fuck. You just had to sit there for 45 minutes. That was it. Yeah. But it was a grouping of every age. So, freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.

Right, right, yeah. You get thrown in this one and it's like mayhem so it's like detention but it's like detention but for like special ed also yes yeah it's like they take them out of the shed after our class then they put them in the actual school yeah yeah sit there quietly for 45 minutes and this is this is that scene in blow where he's like i learned about cocaine yeah yeah dude. I learned what you know about cocaine. I learned about how to be an electrician. Right, right.

I was drawing dicks and farting. Well, they were asking you. I left Justice Under God. It was my time off. Never thought I'd leave Jug like that. I just walk in there and I punch the biggest guy in the face. Yeah, yeah. That's the teacher.

It's Father Atkinson. Now you're going to have to go to justice under God's soul. Jugs. Oh, the idea of just knocking out a paraplegic priest. Just to impress all the old druggies. Yeah, don't fuck with me. They asked me, they were like, why do you have a knife? And I didn't just say, like, because it's cool. I was like, well, there's a kid that lives around the block from me. They were like, why do you have a knife? And I didn't just say like, because it's cool.

I was like, well, there's a kid that lives around the block from me. I just made something up. Oh, but you made up a crime. I made up a person that was bullying me. That you might murder. And I felt nervous about. Oh, you went self-pressed.

What's this person's name? I was like, Chair McBookson. I like whittling things Yeah I should have said anything You don't go there's a person I'm thinking about

maybe needing to kill To kill Yeah That's the worst excuse you could have possibly come up with Alright Brendan

quick thinking I was gonna murder right now But it's because they're mean to me it's like it's like it's like the script

of a school shooter but you guys don't get it