Stuff Island - Stuff Island #21 - gettin flown out w/ Anthony Moore

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

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Where you at? You can get away with it. Old Man Hustle. Oh, nice. Yeah. How has that been? On the weekends, it's amazing. Yeah, yeah.

But during the week, it's hit or miss. Yeah, yeah. He wants me to do the 8 and the 10 o'clock, but I'm pretty sure the 10 will get canceled. Yeah. Because of what, the weather? No, no, just like that's what normally happens during the week. Like he'll try to do the two shows, but the second show rarely gets off. Yeah.

Because there's just like no crowd but on the weekend it's always packed i'm gonna start getting all fucking old pop-up on this weather shit what yeah i fucking i'm over i like you know i know it takes me so much emotionally to prepare for like i get so excited about spring yeah and then i'm like a fucking old lady well this drops like 25 degrees i know it's supposed to get down to 21 i think tonight and my mind i get i forget so quickly how cold cold is yeah right with one week one week of like 40s 50s yeah i'm like this is great dude i was i was just in vegas yeah it was 90 degrees this dickhead i texted him i texted him like what time you coming in because he does it every time

he leaves and he rings the doorbell um so i want to know because i i tried to get to bed early and he rings the fucking doorbell like six times at 12 30 instead of just answering my text he's wearing shorts and a like a hoodie right yeah i came right from the pool it's unbelievable how consistently i'm an asshole you are you got drunk at the pool. It's unbelievable how consistently of an asshole you are. I got drunk at the pool. No matter what the state line is. Because my flight wasn't until four. So I was just like, all right, everyone left like in the morning.

Yeah. Like when you normally do. So I was just like, all right, I guess I'll just wander around the pool. I took Santino's like key card so I could get into all the nice pool areas. I mean, I just like, I drank. I get to this point because as soon as I step foot in an airport, I get horny. This is true. I get fucking wildly horny in an airport.

I know. The fantasies start going. They go. I lock eyes with a hot chick eating fucking breakfast. I don't care. I'm like, I'm thinking of scenarios like we could probably hook up i know it's embarrassing getting on the plane you're like yeah what if i just sit next to someone and i'm like have you ever are you in the mile high club yeah you're fucking an

airplane we should just do it what if you're not attracted to me it's funny because it's like it's the opposite for me where it's like i now i'm going to such lounge wear like a hoodie, some sweats, and my Crocs on. It looks like I'm the ho that's getting flown out. Dude, the hoes do dress like that. Is that for ease of use to get your clothes off? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude.

Like, are they, they're comfy and ready to fuck immediately and they're alone their eyelashes are on they're smoking hot they got all full makeup but they they look like uh they look they're wearing like a sweat meat a sesame shirt hoodie well dude there's nothing in my opinion there's nothing sexier than a woman in sweat that's your saranac gear i fucking there was a there was a lady coming back on the flight in like just all like yellow sweatsuit and i was like this is the hottest person i've ever seen well to the pool point like that is if there's levels airport is one a fucking hotel pool and i got nothing to do and everybody's day drinking that is a 12 i got two towels over my crotch laying in the sun i'm just thinking i'm looking for for fucking key cards hanging underneath this chair it's like you know you

can do anything yeah dude i was everybody's got free time yeah that was also what i was just at the pool being like i can just go up and talk to someone yeah i could do that yeah and then it's just like i that's not a good idea that's not me that's really not a good idea. That's not me. That's really not a good idea. Just float over to somebody. You're just building these vantages so you just go off and masturbate alone. And then head back to the airport in a hoodie and fucking Crocs. At least you empty your nuts.

The girls that are clearly, the hoes that are being traveled just for fucking, as soon as the the flight lands you can spot them as you said they have uniforms definitely these girls have uniforms and you see them get right on the phone going i just landed are you gonna be here are you gonna pick me up or you sit in a car what what what a great life oh yeah i mean it's got to be the best just to be called to vegas you know? Or anywhere. I wanna be flown. I wanna be a flown hoe.

Dude, Vegas does, dude, dude. Vegas has just like an unbelievable amount of crazy hot women with the weirdest guys you've ever seen. Yeah, dudes with bedazzled jeans. Yeah, and like those sunglasses that like the the shade increases as it goes you know what i mean they have like a gradient on them yeah just like

an 80 year old guy with those yeah and they're out to dinner yeah and it's just like fake teeth with like an alligator tooth on his fucking necklace yeah and you're like this is just some like oh and then they are bickering like they're actually a couple like what the fuck i never got to do vegas the right way yeah i went twice and it was like i had good time the first time i went i was in eighth grade so it was like it was terrible yeah i went with my aunt and my cousins but the most fun we could have was like going to a tiger show yeah which was like that rolls out i mean if somebody got attacked yeah right well yeah when the show just goes as planned it's terrible yeah that leads us into uh the will smith the only reason i watched the oscars

next year it's hopefully someone gets fucking attacked yeah that's six free more that's that's a situation same thing with ice skating or car racing right i'm in there for the attack dude i'm in there for the car wreck explosions yeah i want to see some russian do a triple lindy and fall on her face yeah everybody cries that kind of shit nobody gets flowers you know god damn then the other time i did it i went with my girlfriend which was like yeah i'm just watching everybody else have fun yeah yeah it sounds horrible like i didn't enjoy it but i did yeah it is tough because i was thinking though there would be like nice to have a girlfriend here and just like fuck yeah you know what i mean well after you're on your own for a while what no just do it all the right way just fuck i'm not like that's not where you bring you're

not hitting on anyone hitting on people in vegas seems crazy to me i don't know why damn this is gonna sound terrible but getting the same ass that i get in jersey city yeah in vegas it isn't yeah you're right it feels wrong yeah plus there's also so many hot people to look at. You're just going to get in trouble. Right. Yeah. It's just going to be nonstop you getting yelled at. As my drunk uncle would say, you don't bring sand to the beach. He's a great point.

Also, Vegas, it's garbage. After three days, you're like, I get it. You don't go there for a fucking week. If you gamble, it's fun. I like putting like i get it you don't go there for a fucking week if you gamble it's it's fun i like putting like you know you said a dollar amount you go i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm willing to lose up to three four hundred bucks yeah if you don't have that gamble addiction gene you're cool with that you can have fun for a while you know play play a few tables yeah hang around with some some old asian men that smoke way too much but they're very fucking nice to you because they know you suck at the game but it's nice when you sit down at blackjack hang around with some some old asian men that smoke way too much but they're very fucking nice

to you because they know you suck at the game but it's nice when you sit down at blackjack there's like there's always like one like pro that walks up and like helps you yeah everywhere every time we sat down at a table in vegas there was some guy who clearly spends his whole life there being like no you want to hit there you want to split Double down. Like it was just coaching the whole way. And that's what I need. I feel like even the dealers are kind of like. The dealers are great. The dealers are like, don't do that.

After a while. Because they know you're not here to fucking take. And they want to get tipped. So they're like, they help you. Yeah. That's why you win everything you can. Don't tip them. I'll see you in 10 years.

When I break up with my girlfriend. Oh my God. Why were you there in eighth grade? It was just like, I when I break up with my girlfriend why were you there in 8th grade? it was just like I just happened to go with my aunt my aunt and my cousins we just went down there what did they get up to? were they like alright go to bed?

she disappeared for 3 days? no it was like all my cousins my cousin we were all there she was out there in sweatpants you knew an auntie had fucking crocs on, she was doing all business. Yeah, no, it was,

thinking back on it now, it's like, why would three children go to Vegas? Like, there was nothing we could do there at all. Yeah. What year was this? This was like 2006.

Oh, nice. So it was like pools and shit. There was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like pools, but that was the thing. It's been built up for a while. I don't know.

I really got rolling by 06. Yeah, it was like, we literally flew out there to just go swim in another place. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, we could have just went to Wildwood. Yeah. Yeah. And a nice steak. Dude, I did, that's the other thing.

You do see packs of families there. Yeah. I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of like cheerleading competitions. I fucking, I should have said, wow, I watch a lot of documentaries.

How did you come up with this information? There was a lot of sporting events for children. They had, they have their, so the parents can fuck off, get weird and hide fingers in strangers. No, it really does suck. It's,'s it's garbage the people are the worst probably i've ever seen it's it's it's like new york levels of people watching there you got every different kind of person yeah yeah but even like the the rich and high roller rollers

there you know like you see an expensive man from montana you know like yeah dude's wearing like weird wooden veneers and he's got like fucked up gelled hair cowboy hat yeah he's got those transition lenses that comes from the sun the dude doesn't know what to do with his money but he's got like oil tycoon money and he's got this little fuck doll that's like you know 30 years old and she's wearing a yeah an inch and a half full of makeup yeah and it's just like we know what you're doing here this is like is she paid or not paid if it's not vegas you know he's not paying her you know it's his girlfriend right vegas you're like yeah are you buying this woman for the week yeah probably would you ever do? Would you ever get like a very high end date for a couple of days?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I had like unlimited amounts of money, would you? Yeah. I know people that do that all the time in Columbia. Oh yeah.

That makes sense. Yeah. Like, and they have a ball. Like one of my, actually one of my friends is on a trip. They have a ball. They have a ball. one actually one of my friends is on a trip to combine that action with they have a ball yeah blast great one of my friends he's on a trip now and like he he'll post it like his close friends on instagram of him just having a great time just i mean it's definitely money well spent. Yeah. I'll say that.

Yeah. And it's also, yeah. What do you get? What do you get for the? Three adults. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, he's down there, I think, for like about a week.

And since he's been there, he's had like, I guess it would be like two girlfriends for the week. Dang, really? Yeah. What's the exchange rate down there? Yeah, I was just going to say that. The currency switch. Yeah.

What do you? Oh, this is going to sound terrible, but it's real. It's not that much. Yeah. It's not that much. Yeah. I mean, like all you got to do is like speak a little English like hello like yeah very very basic yeah very basic yeah yeah damn it's a dinero right dinero dinero oh dinero yeah yeah

I thought you're trying to do dinero no I did say dinero it's pretty good I feel like i've seen you do it better yeah i mean obviously let's say it's like 300 but you can have like i went to costa rica and we had like a we stayed off off the beaten path kind of thing yeah no resort and for 300 you could get i mean the meal with wine and liquor and all that stuff would cost here 15 1500 bucks so i imagine the women if you were to do the same thing it's like yeah 300 for a weekend yeah and they're like yeah that's my annual income i'll fucking take that and i'm gonna bring my girl and you're like all right 600 bucks dude dude it is it is do you have a girlfriend yeah yeah yeah this is this dangerous talk no it is but

no i know what we're saying we definitely would do yeah i'm talking about this is what i'm talking about you don't you don't go into an airport you start talking like this yeah yeah yeah these are the hypothetical women I would buy. Yes. What would be your hypothetical? Colombians, there's not a range, you know? What do you mean? You either get a big, fat, natural ass, or you get a plugged-up goose ass, you know?

Natural or fake, and they all look the same in a way, you know? I know that sounds pretty bad, but... No it is crazy i remember gorgeous i remember seeing some interview with a porn star where she was like she's like yeah when i was like 18 my friends and i drove to like jersey or something like that and got like fake ass shit put in yeah and it was like what right yeah wait they came from columbia to jersey no no no they were lived in like oklahoma or something they went to jersey yeah and it was like you did what like in a hotel room oh my god they did it back yeah yeah yeah when they were doing that in jersey and like and i think certain parts of the bronx the stuff here they were using with just like things that could fix your house yeah just like cock yeah yeah it's like you know you think about all the like really guilty drug purchases you've had in your life you know what i mean where you're

like too fucked up and you bought some strange thing you put up your nose you're like this is nothing yeah compared to like at least imagine getting so like you got your ass filled tonight. Right, yeah. Cocaine is so good. I come back all fat ass. It's like you're having sex and you're like, hold up, is this sheet rock? It's got that waterbed roll to it. You're like, that's not... My dad's in construction.

That's not biological. I've seen so many 60 minute interviews where before that ass and face implant shit was legalized. I don't know if it's FDA or one of those They would go opposite they would go south they would go South America or Mexico Yeah on the cheap no one's going the church Yeah, I've never heard that before yeah people do that with dental work, too. Yeah, but now even our gym, dude It's like i'm gonna say 25 percent of fake asses yeah because you gotta have the upkeep with it

like if you don't it's kind of expensive it's like apple care you forget to cancel it 12.99 for a check it's fucking ridiculous what's crazy, have you ever seen the flights back when they come back from those places again? Yeah, they're all soaring shit. Yeah, they can't sit down. Is there a standing section? Yeah, so you either got to stand for the flight

or you have to bend down on your knees in your seat. It's the wildest shit. You've seen women bending on their knees? Yeah, on a flight. Like facing backwards? Yeah, yeah. Like they're facing like where it's like

Oh my God. It's like they're sitting up like with their arms on the seat and their nails it's like basically Can you imagine trying to take a nap

in some fucking Yeah. It's like Sorry my ass. Some fat tainted Latina's just staring at you with her tarantula nails.

The plane where it's like all these, my ass. Fat Tana Latina's just staring at you with her tarantula nails. The plane... Where it's like all these women coming back from surgery and now the plane, it looks like some Catholic mass where everybody is just kneeling in the pews. Dude, that's so funny. Holy fuck. Every one of them has Crocs on. Holy shit, dude.

Do they have... Are they wearing like the eye mask mask so they don't have to make eye contact why is everybody praying right now yeah yeah it's like no they just got the ass well you go south to beat the prices and insurance and all that stuff here right yeah it's so much cheaper but the the horrifying like uh the bad the bad situations where like they have infections. That's what is so crazy. Because it's like even like with the vaccine, right? How people don't want to get it. Which I understand. But going down there and just trusting this doctor that you met off of WhatsApp. Yeah.

Crazy. There's no way to sue or anything if that gets done wrong. Yeah. Crazy. There's no way to sue or anything if that gets done wrong. Yeah. And the risk reward is like, you could either get an ass that looks pretty fake. Yeah. Is the best, the best, that's like the best case outcome is you get a pretty fake looking. I've never seen a natural looking fake ass. Yeah.

Yeah. The worst case scenario is your, both your ass cheeks rot. Yes. And now you're like, you you know i don't know what this is kind of fucked up but like when i watch those 60 minutes and you see the type of people that are getting rot ass a bit of me's like fuck it yeah and then the problem is they're getting the ass done but not the thigh so there the thigh. So it's not proportionate. The ratio was just horrible.

Yeah, you got a big meaty ass and then two beanstalks. It looks insane. And now they're putting it, because women are concerned with the shelf up top, whereas before it used to be the pair, the bell on the bottom. That's like 80s swimsuit hot. Now it's shifted up here, so now it goes like, it's like 80 swimsuit hot now it's shifted up here so now it goes like it's like both i've done a lot of research on this yeah so they're putting the the inserts the rubber inserts supposed to go like outside the muscle or inside the muscle so they take this

gel insert and they just tuck it in your your ass and sew you up but they're doing it so that it looks it looks like it looks like you put an extra pillow like i don't know how to explain it no it's literally like when they when they show you a picture of a dinosaur but it has feathers on it and you're like that's not it's not a dinosaur it's that kind of feel you're like yeah something's wrong it's like seeing a jacked pitbull's ass you know like you see like a one that one pitbull that's ripped in the in the ass and you're like whoa it's fucking so muscular but it doesn't look like it fit look like they just slid a little fucking insert and it's like that nobody it still looks good because she's pretty no it's like a nice tit also has that like there's no version of that for dudes and right dudes and like dick pills at least dick pills

are just fake dick pills i think dick's right yeah dick's just however you have it you have it you know women can categorize them but you gotta have a real fucked up dick to be in a category you know i mean you're either hooded you're not hooded you got a curve you don't have a curve yeah small or it's not there's not that many categories. Yeah. I think, yeah, we're not willing to deal with the risk versus like reward. It's too great for us. No. I'm good with my hammer.

You ain't touching it. It's true. As insecure as they say guys are about their dicks, everybody's just like, it could be worse. Yeah. Because like- It could be worse. It could be worse.

It's like, you can still use it. Dude. Rot dick? No. Yeah. Where right ass You can still use it To say my Right dick Yeah Yeah The only insecurity I see in men is like with I've seen like Calf implants and shit where dudes are like I want to get calves

I was literally just talking about this Really? Yeah It's like a thing You know someone who got calf implants? literally just talking about this really yeah like i've i feel like it's like a thing you know someone who got cat no no i don't but i'm i'm all for men getting getting them if like i think i'm i'm trying to get rid of the stigma of men getting surgeries yeah because there's not many places you can go yeah because like i was just telling somebody, if women can get air shots, men should be able to get air shots in their legs.

Yeah. So that way, I could just skip leg day. Yeah. Or I might not feel like working arms. Just put some air shots right in my biceps. Yeah. I saw this on MTV Spring Break, probably 15 years ago, where this dude was taking steroids for his upper half, and he just went like this,

like he's fucking, he looked like SpongeBob. Yeah. I mean, it's fucking legs that he wasn't willing. And his cat, his thighs were okay. And he's like,

I just need to get a surgery. And he set up a surgery to get calf implants. I was like, dude, it takes like three months to do calf raises. Also, that's going to be a mess. If it's like jacked upper body, two thin thighs, and then you yoked half raises. Also, that's going to be a mess if it's like jacked upper body,

two thin thighs, and then you look ridiculous. Yeah, it's a mental disorder. You're going to have like a wasp body. It's like thin in the middle. Wasps are hot. I actually think wasp body, that's the booty women are looking for. The one for me, the animal that does it for me? Giraffes. Giraffes?

Oh, just that nice high ass with the long eyelashes. That's your ideal woman? Yeah. I think all around the zebra is pretty fucking... Zebra. Yeah. Because they don't have their heads a nice shape for their body, nice size for the body

and they got a rump dude nice zebra ass if you lock those legs in sand they can't move you know what I mean you can use it

as a somersault for gymnastics I feel like the animals I'm most attracted to are like are like are like like lemurs

or something like whatever those what? that's just like, like lemurs or something like whatever those was like. That's just like a spider monkey. Yeah. Yeah. Nice guy. Nice big eyes.

They're all bone. I know, but I like, they got like a good body. They got like a athletic body. I feel like those little, little monkeys they show like in the. Yeah. They're adorable. They do, I do. He's fly, dude. I always like those little monkeys they show, like in the... Yeah, they're adorable, but they're not fuckable. I know, they look after me. They're the ones you sleep with as a stuffed animal. You don't fuck them, dude.

We're talking about thick-ass bitches. I don't know what he's talking about fucking a giraffe. That's just as complicated. Oh, he's a guest on the couch. I can't bust his balls about it. Whatever he likes, he likes. Dude. Oh, man.

Imagine having to fuck a giraffe. Apparently he's looking forward to it. He wouldn't be having to. Just get a good look at the eyes and then slide down the neck. Damn, baby, you're so beautiful. Just behind it, looking at the face from like 20 feet away.

He's looking bad. He's got binoculars. just behind it looking at the face from like 20 feet away there was an animal i'm trying to think that i was like i'm actually a trap i've been attracted to horses for years horses are horses are gorgeous yeah you get the right horse yeah i like i used to draw horses in grade school i was like this is a beautiful specimen obviously they got a great dump but like they do have a muscle composition the way they run you watch a horse run it is very feminine beautiful feminine animal is that how they naturally look are they cutting their hair like that you know a real horse barber dude i've been following down some somehow the instagram or tiktok started suggesting horse cutting videos to me what yeah i was kidding no they literally they trim their

they like have hair that grows and they'll trim it don't their hair doesn't grow until they trip over it and fucking die don't get their holes locked in their hair but but they like the sexy horses they shave them and make them look nice. Oh, you mean like show horses? Yeah, they get rid of the split ends. They give them a full self-care day. Dude, when I played Red Dead, you can make your own horse. Oh, yeah.

When you put the braid on the horse. Did you finish that? Yeah. Goddamn right, I did it. That game took me... I'm a heavy gamer. Oh, no. That game took me months to finish yeah yeah

that game is normal though no yeah no no that game is definitely like the normal game should be like what like 100 hours i say between like 40 like i like 40 to 60 what games you play i'll play anything zombie games yeah i love a good zombie game like the last of us you heard of that yeah yeah yeah that one it felt like you're playing a movie that one like oh yeah shane was playing that's the one with the start the guitar yeah yeah yeah yeah is it new um the second one came out i feel like a year ago yeah like 2020 but the first one came out like 2015. yeah yeah no that one that one i feel had you feeling like you're like playing a movie and then like any zombie stuff i'm put you heard of um death loop now it's like you're

playing like as a hitman i love your excitement right i'm such a little kid like all my comedy money goes to games and candy but um yeah deathloop is like you're playing as like this hit man that's just trying to end the loop of like the continuous day. And it's like, oh. I think you told me about this. It's like a Groundhog Day thing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're like fucking.

And you got to find out clues to try to get these eight people together to kill them all. Damn. And then you'll break, like then you'll. How many hours a day you doing this um a lot like this is like i tried to i tried to like start going on twitch more to try to make me feel like i'm being productive yeah yeah i'm just not doing shit just trying to figure out how can i how can i help this guy's life on the video game yeah do you have to talk to people on twitch or they just watch you

can if you get like a big enough following and stuff you can like you can but i'm just so into my own zone yeah like yeah yeah yeah fuck that are those games you can play with other people um because those are just solos yeah no well i got a vr i played oh no no i i hear vr is amazing dude it's so much fun and they've got good zombie games. We even played the Quest 2. Okay. And they have, like, they had a Walking Dead. They've got a couple zombie games.

They had Walking Dead. And that was pretty sick. I'm not trying to extend my repertoire. Look, I want you to get. Dude, you're literally actually swinging an axe and, like, fucking chopping dudes up. It's nuts, dude. It's nuts. Yeah, I'm pissed. And it's scary when you get fucking i know my lane right i'm a little older yeah i i grew up with like the i liked uh who's that hot chick that climbs walls and swims and shit tomb raider tomb raider yeah

that was the first game where i was like oh shit it's puzzles it's action it's killing it's big tits and a hot ass yeah it's a hot lady that was like i was like oh cool but that was like also the last game i played before i moved on and grew up you know i mean wow sorry like uh went to college and shit so then i stopped playing games and then came back and i i was uh introduced to two or um uh red dead oh and i was like this has everything i enjoy you know like a map a quest murder it's also like completely open worlds yeah you could be a guy you could do too much shit on there yes like anything you want and you don't have to play a certain route you could just like i'm gonna get on here and fuck some neighbors up right that's what i need that's the only kind of game i need so if you have any other recommendations that you could give me to waste my fucking time i liked fable did you ever play fable no that was like

the first game that i felt like was that like truly open world kind of concept where and you like start off as like a kid and then you like grow up you like train but at any point in the game you can decide to just become totally evil or be good yeah like so you can either do quests and stuff and become like a good person and be good to the people like they had all these different villages or you could just be like a horrible person so like you could literally go you could literally go house to house and kill everyone in the houses and then just take ownership of the house and then just start charging people rent.

I know a specific type of group that does that. Yeah, it was crazy. And your face got all old as you age and you get like hacked up. Blown right by that. That's what I like about Red Dead. Where it's like, you could be this great cowboy that helps people or you could just be an outlaw that just won it really yes crazy stuff yeah could you

could you build an empire being evil that was my favorite part about this game is that it's like it wasn't like you were just evil and the cops are always after you could like literally take over a fucking town i'm gonna definitely look into this it was an old game though i feel like the last one they made was like gotta be like eight or nine years ago it's crazy i'm only halfway through this beer you fucked up yeah yeah boy damn did you tell such a little kid it's a like what the hell is in this seven percent what do you normally drink seven two um it's a heavy ipa i haven't drank beer in a while oh well you should have said that you give him a bud light

no no i asked him what he wanted i usually drink like any like whiskey or tequila yeah like i got a nice bar cart at home yeah like where or wine i love a good i got some red wine if you want oh i love a good red wine no if if i drink some red wine here i'm gonna just i'm like just search an ass implant yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna like get my pajamas put on my shoes go i don't know you got new cash he hasn't left it was two days ago dude i made that mistake in vegas because it's like a lot of what we were drinking was like for free right or like people were buying it for us so like and i was also doing this thing where it's like i don't want to just chug ipas we've been like drinking too many ipas it's like i'm i just want to cut calories. So I was just drinking like

whiskey. Just blacking out. Just blacking out right away. Yeah, you got a whiskey issue. I've come to find out. My issue is I drink too much of it and I can handle myself. You get into a dark Chris. Do you have a black though in New York? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck is he talking about? Yeah yeah but always i usually close to home there's a couple i also have like a good i have like a body has like a gps it's okay to black out son you're close i also do have a thing where it's like if as soon as i black out for the most part it's very rare but for the most part i always just go right home okay that's like i just i i irish goodbye i get in a car and i go right home see the last time i blacked out i made the mistake of trying to take the train and no yeah that it went terrible no you gotta cut your losses yeah yeah so did you get an uber is like yeah yeah i felt like this was

this one i was still living in brooklyn i i was walking i was walking to the like i'm i'm drunk as hell walking to the train at union square you seem like a good drunk though are you calm drunk like the way you are now yeah yeah yeah but like it was i'm so out of it i walked down the steps and i just fell just flat on my ass and like and i sat there on the union square train step for a while then i got up and then the next thing i know i was at the last stop of the queue in coney island i don't even take that train home it's not even a train you should have been on? No. So then when I realized it, I was like, oh shit.

It was the scariest feeling because anything could have just happened to me. Yeah, yeah. That's a last stop too, right? You check everything. That's a scary stop. And that stop in the summer is fine because you jump on the S to get to the beach. It's the only reason you take the last stop to Coney Island. In fall and winter, it's a fucking scary place.

Yeah, I was like in a good deep sleep. Yeah. Dude, I've done Coney Island. I've woken up in Coney Island, rally gone, okay, I'll be at the right spot. Woken up again, Ditmars right by here. I did all the way Coney Island, all the way back up to Astoria. And then I think I woke up again, Ditmars right by here. I did all the way, Coney Island, all the way back up

to Astoria. And then I think I woke up again in Midtown. I did a nice little five to six hours. I got like good sleep I think at a certain point. I got done trying.

I got good sleep. The problem is you wake up outside and that's a low feeling. When you wake up outside, you're shivering. You got to wait and you got to cross the tracks

and just wait for the next thing. Dude, but that is almost like i i feel like my worst the worst feeling when you're drunk is like when you do a long day drink thing yeah you know what i mean where you've been drinking like at actually kind of a reasonable pace for like 10 hours right you know and it's like you're almost like you're lucid you're almost sober but just every all of your functions are just gone like and then you have to go on like a long walk if you get somewhere and you're just like dude i'm walking so shitty i can't fix it it's like i gotta keep moving forward dude and then you get to a place where you gotta pick a train or solve some other type of puzzle lying to yourself about the fluidity of your of your gate like how you're

walking it's it's the funniest fucking thing in the world i used to get amazing sleep on a train like i used to uh i used to stay falling asleep i remember one time that scared me i fell asleep when it was daylight savings time so i fell asleep at like say i fell asleep around like 150 and then i woke up and the time was at like 305 and i'm like was i just out for an hour on here yeah but it was just like a smooth 15 minutes but yeah i was terrified we've only gone two stops dude alcohol fucks you up in different ways so i'll say this like well done a lot of research but beers like you can you can if you handle whiskey and you're focused on whiskey and then you jump into a beer like this yeah for some reason it's not just the alcohol content it's

not the abv yeah it's the way it hits you because sometimes i won't drink as many beers for a while and then like i'll be on like a wine or whiskey or tequila or something. And then I'll have like three IPAs and I'm like, whoa. It hits me like three full glasses of whiskey. Right, right. So you never know how it's going to end. It's like, why is the body doing that?

What the fuck is happening? It's great. It just perfected a system of handling whiskey. Yeah. And there should be nothing. That's what I'm saying. When I drink whiskey or tequila, I'm fine. I don't know why

this is doing this to me. Chris put some shit in it. We got news for you. We're going to make a little video game today. I'm going to have to get a case of this. Do you do mushrooms too? I haven't, but I want to. I would love to try, but I just

I know it has to be when i have nothing else to do yeah because they say that high is kind of like oh yeah nobody takes mushrooms like i gotta get to work in 30 minutes i mean some people do yeah i need to make sure i have nothing like i have a clear schedule even like when i when i just take an edible i just need a full day yes yeah yeah well the anxiety of having something to do fucks with the actual drug and the way it suits you i think are you good with weed do you smoke weed a lot or no no no no yeah yeah yeah because it makes you freak out no no no i my my girl i know this sounds so gay um my girl she just hates it she gets upset with you yeah it's um it's real weird

so my girl she's from virginia so it's like she comes from this like super christian family where it's like okay even like if i if i'm listening to rap on sundays really yeah like yeah really yeah that's some hardcore shit. I know. I like that, though. Yeah, you need that. I like that. You need that kind of.

I find that very attractive. You need that structure in your life. Someone committed to a cause. We got to get you this church around the corner on Sundays. I think it would be nice to go back to church a little bit. I'll stop cursing on Sundays for you. It'd be fun to just. I was going to this church in Brooklyn.

Yeah. And at first I was against it. What, like the Bieber one? What was it? It was like some church in downtown Brooklyn, but like the choir was amazing. So that made it like... That helps. Yeah, that made it a great time where it's like I could just be in there and sing.

And the choir was so amazing, me sounding awful was drowned out. Yeah. Yeah, so it was like a good Christian a good christian karaoke for me yeah yeah and there is something like i like i think it would be nice to because when i was a kid and i went i just hated the whole thing you know what i mean it was taking me away from just little kid shit i wanted to do now on as a sunday activity it seems like it could be kind of fun you know well it's the homily? What's this guy talking about?

It matters a lot. Also, the cultural difference matters a lot. Black and white churches. It was a black church? It was. Yeah, yeah. It had a black feel to it. The singing was good.

It was black. Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? We got a couple tracks. We got a couple tracks in white church. I'm going to both. I'm going to both. I'm going to both. So like in Philly, my entire life, I went to Catholic schools.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, I went to Catholic schools. So yeah, I've definitely, I've had that white Catholic church experience. Do you have any favorite songs from White Church? We did this song. We did this song. Ave Maria. Ave Maria. Yeah, yeah. That makes me cry. favorite songs from from white we did this we did this ave maria when you get a good singer fucking belton ave maria i'm a hosanna in the highest

right now yeah that's a good one there's a there's a psychology around the acoustics of a church yeah because the way the sound reverberates and it becomes there's like a like a harmony it fills your your head with endorphins and you feel like there is the higher power there is there's a reason for the structure of the church there is a reason for the size of the church yeah well also just being huge and the organs and i mean you think about imagine if you were like a peasant in yeah and you walk into 1400s or something you walked you saw the vatican you'd be like holy shit god is huge and scary yes but then you also got like a pack of sopranos a pack of altos or whatever the fuck yeah yeah and they're all harmonizing you're like you lose your breath right like you go to a fucking you go to a concert where like they shut off all the

the bullshit and there's just an acoustic singer and he's he or she is is wonderful you feel a sense of like otherworldly belong belonging where you're like i something is happening to me right now anytime it was on in the highest develop an attachment to a spiritual element. Yeah. Go to a church where they're off. You know what I mean? The organ's fucking broke and you got a bunch of fat Irish women

that can't hold it to you. It's just a gag. I guarantee right now, you won't believe in God too much longer. There's no way this could exist. If there's a hole in the roof and the sound's escaping, know the temperature's off you're like god might not be real especially when it's like a smattering of people in the chorus stand

or whatever like they just all different sizes like a high school basketball game or something dude still wearing his mcdonald's uniform wait i've never been to black church do they have regular tracks that they go through or are they throwing down new stuff a lot? It's more so regular tracks, but I know the drummers, they usually get a nice solo. Oh, really? Yeah. You get a drum solo going?

Yeah, yeah. So that's when they really feeling it on there, they'll start going in. I only did it once. I went to a Baptistist church on uh in west philly 34th and uh or 48th and um shit i don't say walnut do they play on eagles wings yes no dude it was it was so wonderful but it's like it's a baptist church is good but elite like with Catholic church

you know like alright we're gonna do an hour and we're out of here and you know like everything like alright we're gonna do these songs

this prayer communion you got a 45 minute drum show yeah like Baptist church is like a

Lauryn Hill concert it's like you never know when it's gonna to start or how long we're going to be here. That's the worst, dude. If you've ever gone to a show where you're done with the show and the whole crowd's like, Oh, I'm cool. Oh, yeah. Come on.

Fuck it. No, dude, no. Especially when you're like a first or second date with her. You're like, dude like what time is it trying to get laid before she falls asleep you know fuck how good this band's been oh no i just remember like there was like food and like everyone was so warm and welcoming yeah because they clearly know i wasn't supposed to be yeah well i imagine the music has a much more like uplifting feel catholic music is supposed to

be like yo man yeah you better get your shit together there's some scary stuff up there every song you hear in catholic music you're like they know what i've been doing in my basement yeah yeah they know where my nudie bags are. They know I beat off in the downstairs kitchen. Yeah. Even like, so Kanye, he put out his gospel album. It's like, where's the choir? It's like 18 songs of the choir, but they're singing gospel songs to like actual R&B melodies. Yeah. So it was like, they have this song. I think it's like, it's like song, I think it's like, so grateful or something like that.

But it's to the melody of Genuine's So Anxious. So it was like, you just like, you almost forget that you're singing the gospel song. It was like, why does the spirit have me ready to grind on somebody? It's genius to get the youth in. Yeah, God fucks, man. God did fuck. Yeah. He fucked.

Yeah. God is built like a giraffe. He fucks up. I hope when you get to heaven, God turns back over his giant beautiful ass. Nice giraffe. Get in here. Get in here. Hey, wow.

Can you take room for one more? This beautiful giraffe in a long robe is waiting for me. Yeah, it would. Just open the gate with his teeth like surrounded by lemurs.

That would be the dream. Yeah, you gotta imagine that a giraffe's butt looks real good yeah under some sheets i i have some pants i have ass some big like um i got ass limits i found yeah visual ass limits no you know, like I'll see asses where I'm like, oh, look at that. It's just, you know, it's a fucking wave pool. Yeah. Like what I would do to that. But then you get into like a half that size live

and you're like, this is all I can do. I've been talking shit. I like a muscly butt. About putting that other one in fourth gear, huh? I'm a big fan of a muscly butt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You like a muscly a big fan of a muscly butt yeah yeah i like a muscly butt a muscly butt as long as it like if it shifts up where you can you can hide your fingers in the top yeah i don't know i don't know about that you like a like a like a tight muscly ass that'm a big fan of like yeah and like hamstrings like i like a good yeah you like a car you so you need to find a nice crossfit lady

mckeever always said that he always said this joke i fucking i don't know i always think about it he said crossfit girls look like uh ninja turtles without their shells on yeah you don't want that you don't want that look dude i had sex with a very muscular girl before and it's it's it's frightening yeah because you're banging they're beautiful women but she was beautiful but yeah like the the neck things and the bulbous shoulders and the triceps yeah that can be a problem back splits and even when the ass is there it's just tight and like a it's like a fucking it's like a like a like a chicken wing you know what i mean there's no fucking gig you gotta bite i'm kind of into that i see that i hear that you said it

three times we all believe i think you're gonna get down with someone like that you're always talking about these ass where you hit them and they roll and then it comes back it's like that sounds that's that's crazy it's a visual stimulation sometimes if i see it move too much i have to stop oh really yeah you'll come it'll make me cozy do you ever that's got to be a subreddit it's just just ass is waving yeah i mean you see that on tiktok not like not the videos it's still visually appealing but live when you when when you're on that cusp yeah and you just see a lot of just fluid motion well that's made of mostly water so it just flows around on its own yeah smack this side it's got to go all the way the end of the fucking lake and come back like skipping a rock

if you poke it it ripples yeah yeah yeah that's unbelievable i don't know how we got here yeah i think we should talk about giraffe's ass no we should finish uh our regular thing with this fucking will smith shit which i don't i think we've talked about it a little bit already no we didn't you know we talked about it what well what what do you what do you feel i've talked to this to me i feel like we had i asked you if we have to talk about it you're what what do you what do you feel i've talked to this to me i feel like we had i asked you if we have to talk about it you're like yes yeah well yeah i think it was worth bringing up your opinion on it i watched it live yeah i thought it was great see i didn't see i caught it coming off stage and it's funny because i was literally coming from a show

where i was being heckled. Yeah. Well, not being heckled, but it was just like three women that wouldn't stop talking. So I'm like just telling them, I'm like, I would have rather you just not come. Like, yeah, they said they were like, I hate the hecklers that think they're helping the show. Yes. By adding to it. I'd rather you just hate me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah, because then if they hate you, now we've got a story right i mean i'm the hero you're a villain yeah there's a story here now that we can work with but if they're just if they think they're on your team yeah then you're like how you feel bad yeah that's how it was it was like i want I wanted to tell them like, it's like, yeah, you want to just shit on them and put them down,

but it's like, they're enjoying it. It's also the best way to lose to a heckler is to go way too hard. Right, yeah. Way too early. And have everyone be like, Jesus, man. This is an old lady trying to have a good time. Right.

But yeah, so when I saw it initially I thought it was fake so did I yeah they've known each other for years like Chris Rock was on the Fresh Prince so it was like they have history and then also when I saw it the audio

was cut out cause I saw the live from the Oscars but then it was like I saw the uncensored version from like Australia. Yeah, from like Japan or Australia or something. Yeah. And that version, when he said like, when he repeated it twice. Keep your name. Yeah.

Yeah. Keep your name. Wow. Yeah. But even then you're like, is this still a bit? Because surely they got to get him out of there right right that's what let me know like of course i've known will smith as a star yeah like but now he's like top tier oh yeah that i put that up there with like michael jackson's first moonwalk

to be able to slap somebody not matter of fact not even just somebody yeah chris rock yeah you're slapping one of the greatest comedians of all time like you're slapping an another millionaire who's also the legend yeah yeah he's the host of the show a legend and slap him be able to sit down and still win dude i screamed i was alone because the sixers game started going downhill i was like let me see what the fuck is going on just happened to catch that yeah i screamed when he won because i was like i thought and they showed behind the scenes footage of denzel going up to jada yeah and then will's publicist coming up to him they showed i saw it like online or something like oh shit like somebody posted it i thought she was

like telling him like listen you you fucked up yeah there's no way you're gonna win this even if you were you know set to win they're gonna cross the name off and just put someone else's name when i fucking yelped when they they called his name because i was like this is gonna be this is gonna play out to be the greatest moment. Right, yeah. In television of all time for me. It's the greatest from the slap, the speech. I know he was out of pocket.

I didn't think he did, what he was doing was correct. But nobody got hurt. If you're saying that's like a fuck, all these comics going, well, what's going to happen next for us? Shut the fuck up. No one's charging the pair. You can't get back. It's not going to be a problem.

But I do understand, from like a booker's perspective or someone in the industry. You know what actually bothered me the most in all the footage I saw was that like in the break, right? Bradley Cooper goes up to him and has both hands on both of his shoulders.

It's like, what are you saying? Right, yeah. What could possibly be coming out of your mouth right now? Wait, was it on Will's choice? Yeah, he was like talking to Will Smith like, like what? And I'm sure Will was thinking like, I still got some slaps

But it is just that thing where it's like Bradley you have no idea what the fallout is of this is gonna be You have no idea what I just did to myself. I think what the fuck are you talking to me about? They have these these fucking bird brains when brains when they become famous to that level. Everything they think is so powerful. Yeah. And he probably saw Denzel talk to Jade and he's like, I need to touch someone. Someone needs to hear my words of encouragement.

What I experienced through anger. It's like fucking... We're watching two billionaires fight on air that's all i can ask for as a regular human being yeah have everyone fist fight in that crowd until someone dies i mean it would be the greatest performance of all time yeah i i i cheer on more violence like this i mean you got to just think that it sounds like jada was happy that he did it yeah he's trying to get her back i guess like Jada was happy that he did it. Yeah. He's trying to get her back, I guess.

Yeah. She's not going back. He's closeted gay, I believe, right? Yeah. I can relate to Will Smith a lot. Being gay? What? That's why you're fucking all these muscular dogs. I was fucking.

I like monkeys with no ass. I like women that do CrossFit and I can relate to his closet of gayness. No, this is a different thing. Yeah. Where I could, like, I don't know. I've dated some women in my life that like are. Manipulators? Well, I life that like are manipulators. Well,

I don't know if manipulators is the right word, but they like, like, I don't, I'm not like a violent person. You know what I mean? Like I've never hit a woman in my life, but I've been in fights with some, in some relationships where I've been like,

say it like that's a good thing. No, no, no, no. But I'm saying I've been in some relationships where it's's like it really feels like you need a dude that hits you yeah like i don't like i don't i'm not that guy you know what i mean like you almost felt like like i've i've i've i had borderline a breakup conversation where i said exactly that where it's just like it just kind

of seems like we're coming from different places you want to be smacked around you i don't want to smack you around you want to get in fights where the other person hits you and i can't do that so now you're just going to think i'm a bitch and this can't work you know what i mean so i i was i was coming back from vegas full of anxiety because i just drank and was like a buffoon just beat up a hooker and i'm just thinking about my life going to the toilet and then you know i don't know eventually like just finding the wrong woman and marrying them and ruin it having them ruin my life and then that yeah that situation where it's just like you someone says a joke you laugh you look at your girl and she's like you're a fucking joke, you laugh, you look at your girl, and she's like, you're a fucking bitch

if you don't go smack him right now. And I'm like, it's the Oscars, babe. She's like, get up there. I'm literally up for an Oscar. I will literally fuck all your friends if you don't get up there and smack Chris Roderick. I don't understand. There's so many angles here

that have already been taken on Twitter. So I feel hacked for even talking about all this shit. I actually, I fucking hate when moments happen like this in our industry. Because your timeline, top to bottom for two days, is all Will Smith jokes. Yeah, yeah. It's like when they show vultures eating an elephant or something. Yeah, yeah. They're just ripping it.

They're inside the skin. And then the fucking comics are on Instagram taking snapshots of their Twitter. So it's like, I can't escape any shit. Just shut the fuck up. Yeah.

She's a beautiful girl who's been bald half her career, right? Yeah, yeah. She wasn't diagnosed with alopecia when she was bald for like, I don't know,

five years of her life. Yeah. That was her look. I remember her introduction to us, she was bald. Yes. In a't know, five years of her life. Yeah. That was her look. I remember her introduction to us, she was bald. Yes. In a low down, dirty shade. She's gorgeous.

Yeah, the low cut. She's actually, I think she's prettier with a bald fucking head. Yeah. You know, that might be one of your theories too. Like when with bald heads. Yeah. I did go through a phase

where I liked the shaved head. But yeah, it's unfortunate that we have to deal with this cause now every fucking Oscars there's gonna be these hack jokes it's gonna be

it's gonna be for another five years until we stop hearing about this every Will Smith some of the takes I've seen online has been like insane

I saw somebody say you know I don't think we need stand up comedians anymore yeah yeah and like and the person was a fashion journalist it was like yeah yeah the nerd yeah like we're useless you have your most replaceable job you're writing articles about other outfits.

Dude, it's true. But there was also that thing where it's just like, I haven't seen the entire, like I haven't seen the entire internet weigh in on something. I feel like since Trump got elected. You know what I mean? Like where it was just, you forget like how deep

and how vast the takes can get. Yeah. Where you're just like, there are just some takes where you're like, I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. You know what I mean? One dude was like, you don't think this is powerful? Replace slaps and violence with airplanes and 9-11. Holy shit.

He's like, you still think it's funny? I know exactly what it was. The tweet was like, Will Smith slapping, no, Will Smith hitting Chris Rock is funny. Never plays airplanes with the Twin Towers. Tell me how that sounds.

It was like, airplanes hitting the Twin Towers is funny. It was funnier than the original tweet yeah there's that and then there's also people that are like they somehow drag it to ukraine oh you're like people dragged it to what of what of amy schumer did that joke and will just hit her again funny definitely funnier she would have dropped like a sack of potatoes imagine just a crumpled amy schumer there'd be so many tweets that are like at least that bit was original oh man it's weird because it's like i mean i wonder

what's what it's going to be like when like chris he is like he still has to perform after this dude so like when he comes back to like the cellar table like what's the energy going to be like that's what i'm excited to see oh my god i'm philly i just want to bully him and just take his wings dude now i'm trying to pull my philly rank on him dude there's also that thing this is what i was thinking about with chris why he'd be pissed other than being smacked in the face it's just like i think he's like going on tour with like a new hour right yeah and it's like well now all that's right his new garbage now you have to talk about this right his definitely his new hour is great yeah like he's been working but now you have yeah like you said you have to add on the name of the tour is ego death

now you gotta come back with some ego a little bit yeah now you gotta add another 20 minutes on what the hell that was he has a show this wednesday he has a show this wednesday where like the tickets were like 80 dollars and because of the slap they jumped to 400 dude yeah so now you gotta add a brand new 10 to 15 minutes just about a slap. Yeah. Which is like, it's weird where like comedians where we go through fucked up things

and people want us to talk about it. It's like, this guy just slapped me for a joke and you want me to make another one? Yeah.

Who knows if he's gonna come back with more slaps. And it's like, that will be a meme for... Yeah. Ever. Forever. Like, think about all the stuff that he's done and now that's Like that will be a meme for forever.

Like think about all the stuff that he's done and now that's clearly what he's going to be the most known for. Dude, Chris Rock's mask card when he dies, well, somebody's going to make a slap meme on top of it. God's head on Will Smith's body. All right, let's go to the page alright cool