Stuff Island - Stuff Island #24 - crazy cow man w/ Giulio Gallarotti

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

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A lot of fucking and napping. A lot of fucking and napping. A lot of fucking napping. You gotta nap after you fuck. It's true. The best fucking is done in a very depressive state. Hungover realm. Yeah, hungover sex is the best sex.

You're the horniest, you don't cum, it's amazing. It's amazing. Yeah, you last forever. I mean, I say it all the time, but they say your body tells yourself you're dying and it wants to procreate. That's why you get so horny. Yeah, I like... Because it's depleted of all...

Sounds like it checks out to me, dude. Of all your energy, it's convinced, I gotta come, I gotta make another one so that when I die, the farm can be raised. Yeah, I think it's just anxiety. I already did the research. this is not for fucking debate this is just something someone said

in a bar I looked it up because I was so baffled I was like why am I always horny hungover no I think it's like

I don't know most of the time I'm jerking off I do it because I'm anxious actually same yeah it's like I'm like anxious is definitely I don't know what i do it because i'm i'm anxious yeah actually same yeah it's like if i'm

like anxious i don't know what to do obviously it takes away the anxiety yeah i'm gonna rub one out it builds back up so no but yes but like some people say that jerking off like takes away their like will to exist and i just like don't understand that like Like I've heard it from some people. Like for me, like I will produce my best state like immediately after. Yeah. I am folk. I can focus. I can sit. I can sit still.

Yeah. So I guess it is all anxiety. No, I think so. It feels like really clear thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like the cum itself is like a, like a spider web on your brain and it flows directly through your bird.

And then all of a sudden like image. Yeah. like a spider web on your brain and it flows directly through your bird and image yeah it's it's cloudy up there and you know you can't see or think clearly and then you come you're like i know exactly what i'm gonna paint yeah i remember because like you know i like in that story he was an artist that couldn't figure out what he wanted to do while staring at a blind campus because he growing up growing up i i had uh like when i was really young i had a dog a male male dog but and we cut his balls off so i you know just i only knew him like as a pussy yeah and uh but he's still he's still a little crazy and then i then like later i had like a female dog and then then I remember I got a male cat

with a girl I was dating in college never seen a cat with nuts dude I have and this yeah that's range dude male cats are the shit but when they have their balls this thing was like like a Rottweiler yes and he was just such a fucking asshole size we talk and then when M&Ms likeM's like? Cadbury eggs? He's like this. Yeah, no, yeah. They're like... So all these animals were... They weren't like cohabitating.

This is like separate. No, no, yeah, yeah. Sequential pet acquisition. And I got to see for the first time we like neutered him like the mood change from with balls

to without balls and it's upsetting. Yeah. In a good way. What do you mean? No, no, no, no. What Yeah. In a good way. What do you mean? No, no, no. What, was he a fucking wreck and then he was peaceful? Yes.

Did he go from ripping the couch up to yoga? Yes. What kind of dramatic change are you talking about? He was a much more settled, normal, loving person. Rip his nuts off. I know. This is why we're top of the chain. You start thinking about it for yourself.

I got to get your nuts off. I got to calm you down. This is why we're talking about it for yourself. I gotta get your nuts off Dude I like when I saw that I was like I can't believe it's illegal to walk around We should in human and human a we should be able to neuter like an uncle that's You got that one uncle like at parties you're like yo right here dude you better take his nuts off soon he's been beating up drywall for years dude that would be cool if you got like if you got if you got arrested for domestic violence once that's hilarious you know like dude you got you know

yeah come on sorry dad we can't have you walking around like that 3 DUIs you're being nuts that's hilarious

if you don't go to jail for a year you hear nuts taking yeah yeah you lose your license and your balls yeah we'll put

we'll set some like spermicide and freeze it if you want to have a kid but you can't have nuts anymore well think about you know if you empty your nuts, the anxiety is released. The clarity is there. It must be a treat. But it's only temporary.

But can you still do everything? Like, because dogs still like hump and shit and like get boners. Yeah. Can't post balls. Yeah. So would we be able to do the same? I think so. Honestly, besides like the fact that we need them to procreate, like they're not that great.

No, they're not that great They're sensitive. Yes, dude. They're very ugly. They're really hard to trim. Yeah You still do I can wait you're not sure I dude it's hard there's only so much you can do you don't go bare balls Oh, I would like to really I'd like to yeah, I go bare balls. That's crazy You just got a stretch it in the show I'd like to yeah I go bare balls that's crazy I would like to you can tell me this recently you can show me how you do it you just gotta stretch it in the shower oh my god I got

I got walnuts you gotta make sure there's like a fresh strip on the razor a fresh like gel strip yeah like shaving your legs

or some shit yeah yeah you gotta make sure it's like lotioned up because if you try to do it with shaving cream it's like you can't you don't get a good look at it Also, like if you if you sleep with an older woman and she's bare-bones, that's a fucking red flag

What that I don't you sleep with an old like if you sleep with a woman that's not 25 years old if she's in her 30s 40s we're calling that an older woman and she's yeah she's 31 an older woman you're about to say that too old to be to be razor in your

your salam you know why so wait okay I agree like this is the thing razoring the salam but do you

agree like giving yourself like a manding strip dude so balls are disgusting with hair on them I do a Russian sickle and hammer But dude, agreed? Like giving yourself like a manding strip, dude? That shit's like so whack. But no, like balls are disgusting with hair on them.

I do a Russian sickle and hammer very, very, very specifically. I think my whole goal is to... That's the worst thing when a girl's licking your balls and has to come up and... Ew.

Well, that's not what we're talking about, Chris. That is what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. But dude, I just want to... This is not fucking to I want to take all obstructions out of the way bro

no like unpleasant gross shit yes god damn no it's not an unkept lawn

we're talking about like yeah you keep it trimmed you keep it well if they're not bare bones what length is your ball hair at

you put a one clip on two clips yeah two clips no stubble's worse you don't want stubble's worse. You don't want stubble. So you do do something. I don't want to exfoliate.

Of course. I don't want to fucking bouffant my shorts. I don't have enough, I don't have enough volume of hair to effectively use a one. If I were to do it, it would just do nothing.

Really? So it's hard. Is your ball hair like dense? It could be, yeah, very thick hair. Mine, mine is like,

yes. No, mine's like, mine's could be. Yeah. Very thick hair. Mine is. What? Yes. No, mine's like. It's like. Mine's. I trim this. This is a very short. This is what my nuts look like. Just look at my chest.

The whole man's body is a one, dude. My point is it's got to blend from top to bottom. It has to look natural and like you take care of yourself. No, my nut hair looks like. It's like a fade in your haircut. Yeah. You know? Dude, sometimes I'll actually like, you know, like you get a little higher up and you start

getting into an area where like maybe you shouldn't be shaving it, but like you've been doing it so much. It's almost like editing sound. Like the baseline is off. Like you need to just like, and I'll just like lazily do like one of these. And now I just have this like clear like belt. You mean like. It's just so stupid. I yeah like belt you mean so stupid i'm like god dude that's a good look

dude a hairy grief man on the beach with a fucking a belt shave i've always felt a tremendous amount of sympathy for dudes with a lot of chest hair belly belly hair, because there's just got to be a, there's got to be a, you got to blend. You got to blend. On the Patreon, on the Patreon coming up this week, I show you how to cut your own hair and I, I blend. You blend from your pubes to your stomach. From my belly button down to, to, uh, the, the upper portion of my, my brajo. Your pubis?

Yeah. I go three, two, one, and then I'll blend into the one. So it looks like it cascades. It's nice. That is nice. Yeah.

Hey, I would like to take a moment to say that you guys have a really good Patreon. Thank you, brother. A lot of utility and thought and there's just good stuff in there, dude. It's like, you didn't just find an extra episode that comes out the the day before dude seven dollars like you guys have real on

you yeah we're trying to do real it's like why not we got the cameras here totally we're always bopping around together i'm always dodging your stupid hair all day so it's like well yeah people want to learn how to cut your own fucking hair instead of baked bread. Yeah, sure. Hop on there. Five bucks. Yeah.

So my apartment, my girlfriend and I have separate bathrooms, which is like the most incredible thing in the world. Um, I know, but my bathroom is the bathroom. So when people come over, they use it.

So I feel this like insane pressure to like not have hair either for my face or my fucking That's good. That's good for you. Anyway. Anywhere in the apartment. But it's hard, dude. Dude. It requires a lot of like work.

Dude. You know? I don't want anybody coming over and being like their bathroom is gross. Every Tuesday I clean this fucking bathroom. Yeah.

Today I cleaned it top to bottom. The tub. Really? The, yeah, the toilet, the sink. Because it gives you a reason so having friends over keeps you in line with like let's let's clean this place up you know it's like if

if you had someone come over to your bedroom if you had a girl come over you know you got to clean up your fucking bedroom without don't, you know. If you can separate banters. If you can separate banters, that's what it would look like. It would look like a Chernobyl banter. Oh, yeah. Left in an element at school. Yeah.

That would be fun to go to Chernobyl. Do you think so? Yeah. It seems like a fun trip. Dude, I got into this dude over the pandemic. This guy, I think he's called Shy. Have you ever seen this dude? Is he a vlogger? Yes. He's crazy. I don't know him. the pandemic. This guy, I think he's called Shy. Have you ever seen this dude? Is he a vlogger?

Yes. He's crazy. I don't know him. He was this young guy. He wears like face protection, so you can't like see who he is. I think people don't even know who he is now. But all he would do, I was watching, these are like two hour, three hour long videos. He would just rail hop.

Oh, shit. In like Lithuania. What's rail hop oh shit in like lithuania what's real like eastern he would like jump on a train and he would be filming himself the whole time and he'd have to like avoid security and stuff he'd be like hiding in parts of the train there were times where he have to like sprint crazy from like to get to chernobyl he went to chernobyl he he like went to chernobyl and just like would sneak around he would go to like bombed out places and like cities

he would go to like built like whole towns that you're not allowed to like be in anymore and he would just like look around when is Chernobyl

inhabitable again it's inhabitable I think it's currently inhabitable it is I believe so people go there and you can visit yeah

really yeah I mean maybe not this exact second I thought they said like a thousand years or some shit. I think recently didn't, because Chernobyl's in Ukraine. Yeah.

And I think it got sketchy there recently. Yeah. Well, if you bombed that area, wouldn't it release more? Yeah, I think. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I think there were soldiers walking around there that were definitely getting exposed. They were growing. Jesus.

That's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, now's probably not the right time to go obviously but do my rule is like if as long as a place isn't like like currently having a war and the war literally the place where the war is occurring a country at war versus where that war is actually happening yeah those are two different things but like where the war is happening is the only place that i think i would not go to and otherwise i would i would be willing to try it yeah dude let's talk about this because you just went to iran right iraq yeah that's fucking incredible that was awesome dude how do you how do you how does that even start so dude i started like making it's amazing how this goes and as you guys know like

i made a video in africa um like 27 2018 or whatever and you're there for stand-up or yeah i met these guys in line like and it sounds insane but like i remember seeing this yeah there was an there was a some article about these guys who do comedy in rwanda so i was like oh that's weird so like i dm'd them and they're, dude, like if you want to come Yeah, you I was like I'd love to come Stop you And they were planning to have some like international comedy festival at some point They do a lot of festivals over there

So like I like you're the only like American person who's ever asked us to come so I guess we'll do the best Like can you send a clip? No, I don't think so. Send us your best five. That's for submission. But there was other people from like other places. Any credits or anything? I think they just didn't have any Americans at the time. Yeah.

So whatever we did, it was great. And then I like tried to just like hack this video together. I didn't really know what I was doing, but realized I couldn't afford to pay somebody to do it. Yeah. Unscripted. It's just like hard, you know? So cut it, whatever whatever do a screening it like

goes well uh they're like oh let's try to sell this we it goes nowhere like classics yeah yeah a few years go by and i was like well this is a dead project like i just put it on my instagram and then dude like schultz reposted it and it just slat like it's slashed yeah yeah and if he never did i probably never would have made another travel video really that's i mean dude that's just how i don't know if you guys because you said that you have sort of a travel bug anyway i do but like i didn't think that it needed to manifest itself in like content right right and expensive and like to be honest pointless content that doesn't generate any money yeah you know i mean uh I mean? So anyway, Schultz posted. Of course, then everybody else is reposting it,

which is great. But if he'd ever done that and it just got like 4,000 views, I would have never done this again. So that changed kind of the trajectory of what I was going to spend my free time doing. That fucking rules. And spending my own money on.

So I did a little bit of docu-style vlogging in South America. And then the Iraq thing, I was like, I want something that has a bigger click value to it yeah because like you hear ecuador you're like whatever but you hear iraq you're like oh what like that has pull on its own yeah even if you don't care about me yeah you know what i mean yeah uh which unfortunately a lot of people have that it got like chernobyl you get clicks boy uh but yeah dude so iraq was cool and i was like you know what can the angle be that this trip will probably be way more chill than i think i'd see some vloggers go there and

it seemed fine i was like all right cool that'd be cool and then the tour guides that we linked up with were super young and cool and like that was a fun thing to cover so then yeah we just went and did it so we wind up doing stand-up there no you were just bopping around we could have maybe yeah uh you know it's hard you can't like make assumptions about what the trip's gonna be like you have to try to plan but you can't be like eh we probably can't do stand-up you like truly don't know yeah and like all the things that i assumed i was completely wrong about okay like i was afraid about like getting in trouble for using the camera not only was the camera fine dude every single person wants to be on camera. They all are constantly trying to be on camera. Everyone,

including the police. It probably might be the ticket out. I'm just whispering. Help me. Dude, not even kidding. Like every single, like cops,

mad, cool, super friendly, helpful. Everybody's super psyched that you're there too. They're not like, Oh America fucked our country up. They're just like,

Oh, that's sick. We have tourists. too. They're not like, oh, America fucked our country up. They're just like, oh, that's sick. But you're here. Wow. We have tourists. Whoa. Um, so dude,

yeah, that's wild. Yeah. So I was like, that stuff will all be really fun. Uh, it's hard to plan what it's going to be, which is obviously stressful.

Did you have places that you were like, we're definitely going there. We're definitely going there. Did you just kind of like, so like I did this, this South America trip, there was a lot of trial and error with it. Like kind of what can you do and what can't you do that is helpful.

So like doing any group activity will just immediately destroy any video you want to make. Inevitably. We went to the Galapagos islands and I was like, I can't afford to like charter a private boat. I'm just going to go with some group. And now we're just like with a group. And like,

I don't, we don't want to put them in the video and I don't want to like be sneaking off to be like here we are you know whatever so that kind of shows like we need a place where we can afford a private guide and Iraq it's not cheap but like they're literally with you the entire day okay and then anything that you do have to pay for is super cheap not to mention that people there just give you everything for free yeah like it you'll take a taxi really well you pay like no no no like what do you what do you mean you're a guest like you'll go buy a sandwich like no no no and you're like how much are you like no no no yeah i guess that's a good lesson

they won't take it dude people are like weird about that shit like there's they have signs in restaurants that say everybody pays for their own meal because people will get into fist fights about who's paying like i'm paying no i. No, I'm paying. And they fight. So they have to put a sign up that's like, everybody pays for themselves in this restaurant. Wow. Yeah, that sounds like something you would do. Yes.

This sounds great. This sounds wonderful. It was sick. Yeah, it was so fun. That's a very Arab. Did any scary shit actually happen? No. No, actually, okay, sorry. The only scary things that actually happened

was that our tour guides pranked us and told us that we failed our COVID tests and that we would have to quarantine in a government facility for two weeks and then they didn't tell us they were kidding for 10 minutes but that was the only scary thing good yeah yeah yeah so what's the next spot because you got to do another one i've been thinking to compliment you like it's really like visually unlike most of these travel shows it's stimulating in a way that i think chris and i were trying to do with like the cooking show it's like yeah it's so mundane usually when you see a show that has the same format yeah the same process it's beautifully shot yes but like there's

no fucking content it's not real it doesn't feel like you're actually with them it feels like you're just watching a rich couple do fucking cool shit totally where it's like the language you use i don't mean fucking bad language but like the just the way and the style it's shot the way you behave it's like oh shit i feel like i'm with him i feel like i can do this yeah and there is that type of tourism is really interesting we watched uh a, we watched like a movie about Iran. Which one? Iran. Iran.

Iran. What is that? That's a big faux pas. What was it called? Was it a movie or a documentary? It was called like the truth will never die or something like that. Yeah. You don't remember this?

No. Okay. So what was crazy is the movie starts out right. And it's like, it's a shot it's like really a pretty like spooky shot in like a parking garage oh yes and these guys are like carrying like what looks like a body and they they put it in the back of the trunk and you're like oh god and so the whole movie the movie was apparently like smuggled out of iran and you're like oh my god like i fucking knew it i I knew Iran was so fucked.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just very sweet. And then the guy, like he drives like up this ramp and it's just like, it's like this slow shot. We're like, I mean,

you ever actually, you ever have like a cop behind you, you actually drive 25 miles an hour and you're like, this is so creepily slow. Yeah. This is weird. It's like that for a while. And then he gets to this like checkpoint and this guy like checks his back of his trunk and he's like, what's back there?

And he's like, just some rice. And like the guy goes back there and like looks at it, closes it. And he's like, all right, you can go. And you're like, whoa, dude, like what the fuck is happening? Like he made that body look like rice and then and then the guy like goes home and takes out the bag of rice and like sits down like watch some tv then he like gets up and he goes and like picks up his wife and they have like a normal conversation he picks up his daughter there is a body in the bag no no no no no then it's like then just living in hell no no but you know but it isn't i think that was what's so like what's so shocking is that then you follow this guy through his whole

day and his daughter is like a very like his day his day is just like mad normal yeah his daughter is like talking shit to him like dad i want to go get fucking pizza he's like we're not getting pizza he's like i want to get fucking pizza and he's like all right we're gonna get pizza they go to like a grocery store and they're like gets her candy. She just starts opening candy. This is the worst Cisco and Ebert episode I've ever heard. It was amazing. I thought he was going to get to something good, but there's a lot of good parts. Yeah.

It's called something like that. He's only on minute two. I don't know how long this is going to go. Then they get to the end. They get to the end after you spend a totally normal day with this guy. And he goes back to his work. Yeah. It's work yeah it's just it's a series

of different shorts so this is only one of them but then he goes back to where he works and he is just like executing triggers you ever ask a little kid what his favorite animal is

that's seriously what it sounds like they're straight chopped up stories for fucking 10 minutes yeah and then at the end you're like it's a bear your favorite animal is a bear you just told me That's seriously what it sounds like. It's usually chopped up stories for fucking 10 minutes. Around is high on my radar. Your favorite animal's a bear.

You just told me to tell me it's a bear. This is also what Tommy was like the whole movie. He's like, what's happening? What's going to happen? What the fuck? Why doesn't fucking anything happen? The whole point of it was... And then he executes like 10 guys by hitting a button and he's like that's what i'm talking about yes you finally get a release yeah

dude that's funny his whole job is hitting buttons to hurt me three of my favorite movies are iran uh creations one of them is a cartoon that's like i think french it's called persepolis it's based on like a graphic novel i think it's really good yeah that's like I think French it's called Persepolis it's based on like a graphic novel I think it's fucking really good yeah it's kind of just like classic sort of like

a bigger thing through the eyes of a child thing sort of like Belfast which by the way the facade of your building that you guys live in looks like

it's out of the set of Belfast I don't think it's really good that's why we chose to live here I don't know what he's saying

right now look up Belfast I mean all these fucking things he's messing with us I don't know if you guys saw that movie. It's really good. That's why we chose to live here. I don't know if it is either. What's he saying right now? Look up Belfast. I mean, all these fucking things he's messing with us. I don't think Belfast is doing well when that movie's taking place. Yeah, you've seen our bathroom, dude. A little history I know about Northern Ireland. There's that one, and then there's this movie called A Separation that won Best Foreign Film at the Academy Awards.

I could go back and do it. It's super fucking good. Sort of like, to your point, it just sort of shows like life in iran not unnormal yeah you know and then there's a my favorite one is called our our man in teheran i think it's called it's about this dutch guy who mayor israel it's a documentary he married uh a woman from iran and lives in iran and speaksarsi perfectly. And he just goes around sort of like asking people questions. Yeah. And just sort of like get behind, like understand the difference between like what people believe,

but then what they actually believe kind of thing. Yeah. And it's really fucking funny and good. And it's on PBS. And you, that's a high, highly recommend that one. If that topic interests you.

Yes. It does. Which it may not. It does. It does. It does interest me. It sounds like it might be a little you. Yes. Which it may not. It does. Iranians interest me. Sounds like it might be a little slow.

No. You kidding, dude? That's high on my list though, dude, of places that maybe I would want to do next. You should. It's just, it's hard to get a visa.

I'm trying to get an Italian passport. It's a pain in the fucking ass. What? It's going to take forever. Just show them your name. I know, but dude, they're like,

what do you need to get an Italian passport? Like, dude, I've qualified i'm like i can easily get one yeah but i keep submitting they keep rejecting it for no reason i even called this lawyer who's like dude we take on like these like massive cases he's like but i'll help you and i was like i'm surprised there isn't just somebody who does this but he's like yeah they're like isn't but he's like he's like keep submitting because you may have done

nothing wrong but they're just like being a pain in the ass then when you go in there they'll like shame you for not being italian enough and i'm like no like my parents are not that it's any of your business and they're like well why you know i'm like dude fuck off yeah why are you a sexual predator jerk-off? Also, this is a big problem. Why haven't you commented on my checker 30s tits? The biggest problem I have with native Italians and native Irish people is it's like, you're not Italian. It's like, no, you're not Italian. Real Italians leave.

Real Irish leave. You're just guarding Disney World for when we come back. There was more Italians in New York than in Rome in the 20s. So go fuck yourself. You guys are the pussies who didn't leave. That's all

you are. So open up the fucking door. I'm sick and tired of this shit. I'm about to take my fucking shirt off. I am fired the fuck up. You know how few Irish people are in Ireland? Almost none of them.

There's no one there. We just watched a trailer for Rocky VII. That was hard off, dude. Tell stories like that. That's what you should have talked about. I got both. I got both. Jesus.

Maybe that's why you made me sleepy-beepy at first. So the next one's going to be a fucking killer. It drives me nuts. Good Lord. I'll fight for you, whatever you want to do. That was your braveheart speech. I saw you on a fucking horse, dude. You were on a horse.

Face painted and all. I went to Ireland and did stand up and I said that to the crowd. But he hated it. He hated it. Why did you do that? Of course. Also, like I was making fun of the, because they have Gaelic on all the signs. Yeah.

So you're trying to drive on the highway and it's like yeah it's like yes it's over yes it's over yeah let's get let's get rid of that it's not it's not coming that should be a calf tattoo and delco and nothing else it shouldn't be it shouldn't be a language no one gives a fuck about gaelic yeah Yeah. It's a crazy language, dude. It is crazy. It's fun to say like, yeah, yeah, you know Gaelic? Cool. Like, it's disrespectful.

It's child abuse to give that language to a child. It's like it'll stay alive at the university. It is. It'll stay alive at the university level. Right. You know what I mean? Forever. For history.

Yeah, yeah. That's wonderful. Right. We'll have recordings. Only losers will speak. We'll losers recordings of people saying yeah and then just like the buildings gaelic is the 9-11 of languages nobody ever wants to revisit it but we'll never forget it let's fucking move on anyway so you should get that passport so dude this is the thing the only reason this is why i want to get it i didn't say that um and i'm sure you can make assumptions as to why and you'll

probably be right but you have a lot more flexibility if you with american passport you just have to be part of like a guided tour not that i wouldn't be part of that anyway yeah but like it's just nice to be able to kind of like have an easier time getting a visa and like be able to bop around um and i'm sure it's still be able to do that oh okay oh right so you're using the italian passport to get a visa to to make it easier to travel around basically i'm more friendly to italians than americans it's not about being friendly it's literally just about like what the rules are okay yeah sorry no no no but but just like, Sure, so she gets in. Because I ran in the EU. He's just going to hit me. That's great.

But yeah, so it's just, it makes it a little more difficult, which like, if I were to decide to just do a last minute, like Iraq, it's super easy. Like you could go tomorrow. Literally. You could just book it.

Yeah. You could book a flight right now and go tomorrow. Damn. Which is fucking nuts. Is that why they, do you think they give you meals because you're American? Like when i went to cuba their their entire uh job and and earnings come on tourism when the gates were open so like there was no there's no like fear of getting robbed there's no fear of you and you have to exchange all your currency prior to getting on the plane yeah you have to have cash there yeah so you're walking in just looking at me and and my ex like everyone knows you have a

lot of money in your in your fucking apartment or whatever whatever airbnb you're staying at and no one fucks with you because it would damage the entire country right right so it acts kind of like that but not because of tourism. There's just no tourism. They're trying... The reason why there is tourism, according to the people that were showing me around, is because the Pope went to Iraq

and thought it was sick and was like, I'm serious. And he was like, guys, you gotta let people visit. I'm just imagining the Pope being like, yo, this place is actually pretty sick. The Pope's like,

yo, bro. Pope's at a hookah bar. Yeah, yeah. This place fucking rips, dude. You don't have to tip anybody. yeah bro Pope's at a hookah bar just fucking yeah yeah this place fucking rips dude you know what I mean to anybody

this place rips dude bro that's amazing so yeah so it's new but like they do it because they're just so psyched that you're there yeah

they've like never seen a person that looks like you yeah so is it like like a giant black guy in Japan like you yeah so is it like uh like a giant black guy in japan like do you do you have easy time with ladies and stuff um i so it's like super conservative culture so so like dude this is true this is crazy this is your giant black guy

japan you have easy time with the ladies so do you listen i'm basically black in japan dude so yes like yes you could You could But like Also you're tall over there dude It's a conservative culture dude So like Even like grown women They'll behave sort of like Like as if they were younger

Yeah I don't know So they're like Like all giddy and shit They're getting all warmed up And dude it's super conservative Like this happened This is crazy

They got a little carry in their spice Dude we were at Babylon And there's this thing There's this maze in Babylon where you have to like you can like jump over it whatever it's hard to explain

it's this big maze you can stand on top of it and jump whatever so the girl that we were with was afraid she was cool she was afraid it's not like a hedge mage

it's a stone what he's trying to skip the hedge it's a stone maze very good question yeah anyway so they were jumping people are jumping around it's a maze whatever because it's like is it like a stone maze, very good question. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so they're jumping.

People are jumping around. He's like, it's a maze, whatever, cause it's like, is it like a head, like a head command? So he's worried cause you get so mad if someone takes a little bit of time to tell a story. I don't want him to get comfortable. He's trying to speed through it before you spaz. I'm trying to let him know that I'm invested.

Anyway, Julie, thanks for coming. Thank you. I think we're gonna start now. What if it just starts now? We're in the stone days. Okay, so she's like afraid to jump over it. And there's some like rowdy bros who are like on the sidelines. And they start yelling shit at her.

And they weren't even yelling anything that bad, honestly, for an hour, what we're used to here. They were literally yelling like, oh, you can use my body as a bridge. He didn't say my naked body he didn't talk about your ass he didn't say like my dick he said you can use me for a bridge yeah somehow that got back to like the administrator whoever was running the facility and like later all of a sudden we see this like police officer and this guy in a suit show up yelling coming for blood and they essentially like grab this kid by the ear like not actually but it might as well have been like get over here like the

principal in the schoolyard and he made her he made the guy apologize to the girl that was it he goes to apologize and he's like i'm sorry and he was like good job yeah and that was the end of it wow i was like what is this like adult disciplinarian shit I'm never saying I like it I like it so it's good so people are concerned we have to tell your parents like what did you say said you could use my body as a bridge I think I said that many Saturday nights sans the maze. Dude, I think it was cool too. Like,

you just expect people who look a certain way to be a certain way and just seeing it not be like, that was amazing. Like, like no one gives a fuck about religion.

Like people are super religious, but they're not like pitted against the, the different sects of Islam. Like no one gives a fuck about that. Right. You know what I mean?

And when they did, it was like, they blame it on like the government the government riling people up. Like back in the day. So you'll meet a veiled woman who looks insanely religious, and she's like, yo, yo, take a picture with me. And then we take it, and she's like,

oh, let's do one more. Just like, dude, stop. Yeah, just fuck that. Just regular person. Someone dressed like that would be scary to an American. Yeah. But there, it's just like, mad normal. Not around not in astoria muslims are welcome yeah and in fact we're the aliens yeah i mean you gotta like most of those places that seem scary it's like it's

just people trying to live a life they're like dude i i gotta wear this thing yeah exactly yeah it's scary because peter jennings used to fucking warn us about him you know yeah but there's no rule you don't have to repeat oh really you don't have to wear you don't have to dress up there the woman can just wear jeans and not a unless you're into like the very specific religious areas but then as a guy you have to like wear pants but as a woman you have to cover up yeah you gotta you gotta wear pants. Very arbitrary. You'd be miserable, dude. But dude, also, it's one of those things where like... You're a shaved dick. Wouldn't get to fucking...

Dude, I just pictured O'Connor as nude as fuck in the airport in Iraq. Getting strip searched. Just looking for a fucking Applebee's. They're like, are you shaving your balls you gotta stretch it bitch dude but like in the in the religious sites for example like they're these holy shrines that are like super sick like kind of almost like mecca level of impressive giant like incredible shrines where everybody goes and there are all these rules right you can't can't take pictures. You can't take videos. You can't bring a real camera in, but like everybody in there is taking videos on their phone. You can't bring a camera in, but like they saw us in there.

We got, we get brought into the back. The guy sits us down and he starts like bragging about how he's been in New York. He's like, I've been to New York. He gives me some saffron teas. Like saffron is really expensive and rare. He's like, enjoy. He's like, dude, we'll get you a permit for a camera. He goes, come back here tomorrow, 8 a.m. I got you. I know. And we're like, all right. We go back at 8 a.m.

They're like, oh, like, yeah, we would totally give you one, but it takes, like, three weeks to approve. And the guy was just, like, blowing smoke up our ass to, like, be cool. You know what I mean? But, like, dude, super, yeah, I don't know. No, no, you're right. It was super chill. super yeah i don't know it's just no no you're right there's this uh this misunderstanding about i think like the the authorities in these scary lands because of what we've witnessed in

wartime and all that stuff but you go there like when i was in cuba i forgot i got so drunk on the plane that i forgot to fill out my uh temporary visa so you had to pay for it did i say this on this cast uh no visa on arrival yeah yeah yeah the story yeah yeah yes but i thought this dude was fucking me over just because he came out and he tried to like he spoke broken english or whatever and i thought he was going to like you know take half my purse that i already exchanged on the way there and then he wasn't like he was like i found it he had to go back on the plane that would be boarded and my my girl was across security already and he came over like three dudes i'm like this is where they asked me for a hundred dollars out of the 300 that i allotted for the entire trip and he was like here

it is it was right there in 18a yeah and i And I was like, holy shit, I'm so sorry. Yeah, the whole time you're like telling your ex, you're like, no, I know these kind of people. Yeah, yeah, I was. What the fuck? Yes. When were you there, though? It's the fucking VIG.

75 buck VIG, I guarantee it. She goes, lower your voice. You don't know what's going to happen here. And I was like, no, no, no, this is the thing. This is how they make their money. This is what keeps the fucking lights on in this shithole. Dude, I've seen that guy in the airport he is not a pretty sight to behold no i saw a dominican republic and i going hey stick together

this is a third world country oh yeah this is a third world country i was like god no and you know what it's like those are always the kind of people that actually do get fucked up and they're like i knew it and it's like no you did it you know what i mean it's like people that are like really nervous around dogs the dog bites right that's why i don't like them it's like no you're acting like a dick maybe the dog had nuts on it still if you just act calm they they would act calm. Yeah. When did you go to Cuba? Right before quarantine.

Oh, nice, dude. It's the best time to go. I need to do that. It was literally like months before they closed the border. Crazy. Yeah,

I need to do that. It was the best vacation ever. Food was exceptional. Everything was so cheap. You get a glass of like fucking 15 year whiskey for like $2. It was absurd. It was absurd how much money you could spend for a whole week. I'm sure.

Yeah, it's beautiful. We stayed in like the equivalent of Central Park. The Airbnb was an old like governor's palace. Everything was marble top to bottom bottom that's the travel hack there you pay with your card on the airbnb yeah you don't exactly gosh yeah it's exactly what we did everything was already set and you know something comes and brings it makes you like fucking smoothies and breakfast really tip or like whatever 50 bucks and that's like a three month salary yeah you just live large for a very that's gotta be nice

dude it's a shitty hotel it's amazing how good breakfast is in every single other country yes even at the shittiest hotel yes the best breakfast like i've had better breakfast in hostels in south america than i have in like the marriott literally that's not even that good of a comparison yeah in the fucking four seasons yeah and it's free they really have stopped giving a fuck about hotel breakfast yeah they have hotel breakfast yeah they just they don't they do not give a shit no even their apple juices just in the cup that you have to peel and now you're just holding a fucking it's just like that thin bottle apple juice you know barely tastes like apple juice. You got to go Martins. Garbage.

Yeah, it's like give me something good. Garbage. Pregnancy eating. This looks like piss, dude. Yeah. I think I'd like to go to like India. Me too. Me too.

I think that would be. Yeah? Yeah. I think that would be fun. You have no interest in India. Yeah, I have interest in all. I feel like you. I'm going to Vietnam first. I feel like you're censoring a bunch of stuff 100 i had a lot of fucking lines that were gonna fly out of my skull

we'll wait for the piss break till i say i don't actually feel no i'm sure it's a yeah you go to certain areas it's very sensitive to yeah so the goal of this show do you want to continue this because yeah so dude this is the beauty of it okay so first of all i would love if you guys listening would watch it it's called places you can go iraq uh if you search that i'll come up it's on my youtube channel um not that i don't have julio gallerati good luck spelling that but hopefully you'll get it you'll be able to read read it in the description. And if you search for that, it will come up on YouTube. Pure WAPS, dude. Pure WAPS

go G-U-I. G-I-U. G-I-U. Yeah. Yes. Clearly. I know why your visa keeps getting rejected. I got no shot. Yeah, I'm naming this on my Irish pop-up. I got no shot of a diet visa, dude.

So, I mean, dude, the beauty of it is like, it's self-sufficient. Like, I literally do the entire thing myself. I do bring a guy to shoot it, obviously. And I just pay him in paying for the trip. Yeah. Which he thinks, you know, I think. That fucking rules. Free trip to Iraq.

It's cool for him. Yeah. And like, he doesn't spend a dollar when he comes, too. Yeah. And I would like to pay him additionally, but it just ends up being expensive. But then I do all the posts myself. I do everything myself. So I can just keep doing these.

So the beauty of it is I don't really have to. I can just do whatever I want. So I intend to keep doing them, but will I do it again like this? I don't really know. I maybe would like to because it would help if there's a common theme or something, but like, yeah, I sort of go so big.

He did go. I know. With Iraq. I know. I know. You got to warm up to Jersey before. So Medford being next year, but this is what,

this is what will dictate where I will go. It's like, how excited am I to go? What is the arrangement? Cause now that I've started to do these people hit me up and when they do, will dictate where i will go it's like how excited am i to go what is the arrangement because now that i've started to do these people hit me up and when they do i will i will utilize that like yeah i got a free hotel in panama i was like all right i'm gonna go yes and then that is a story because like my parents like don't do that like so it's like funny i end up in this sick hotel

room that i'm getting for free yes i'm like good call mom and dad you know like that's like that kind of shit's funny meeting people's fun so it's like if somebody hits me up i'll immediately entertain that place even if i wasn't considering it yeah um and then just kind of like everything has to like time out and line up and there's also like a cycle it's like i get really manic about like when i start planning it i like can't sleep i'm just like planning a trip i'm like going beast mode i'm like getting hammered sending messages to people that i then regret in the morning but they really help propel the process along totally dude and that is the sickest way to do it is if you're like automatically plugged in with like a local there that will just show you wild stuff and you can pay for that but some places

it's a little harder it's more fun if you don't it's more fun if you don't they don't have any professional obligation to you no true which is nice yeah it is they'll show you some even weirder stuff yeah well that's one thing i will say about iraq you do need to have a guide yeah yeah because you can't you can travel freely but like you don't want to be spelunking people just get confused and they don't speak english uh and maybe there'll be one guy who does but like you'll end up getting caught up at every checkpoint for like hours. Unless you have the guys with you. Lack of communication. Yeah.

And they'll be nice to you to like play with their gun and shit. Like literally, but like you will just, it'll take you forever to get around. Do you play on like the exposure thing? Like, you know, the give and take type shit where like,

I'll give you screen time. You take care of my cost of travel how does that work no but you're such a ground level where there's no like there's no incentive for someone to give you a free hotel room or or be a guide totally you're right so when you go to like let's say Croatia let's say I go to like a country that you know it hasn't they're not scared of you right you could blend in totally what's the play there other than paying a lot of money yeah okay so so this is when people go I'm sorry to cut you off you're in if you if you have an idea for a show people are like yeah make more you're like well I'd love to but I'm not

getting funding and I have no sponsorships. You think I'm just going to, am I sitting on this fucking gold where I'm just going to travel the earth like a fucking Milton and then just show you all my escapades? It's like, no, pussy. I need money to make this happen. I don't know why I'm getting angry.

Continue. You got to just do it at the end. So this is the thing. People will just be excited I'm coming or they'll listen to my podcast or they'll like listen to my podcast or they do love the pod i live here i think what you're doing is cool yeah i'll help you out so there's that some countries they're just psyched you're coming so they'll help you iraq i paid the people who were guiding us um very worth it um and and i if for example if croatia

if i get an email from somebody who wants to like show me around and shit, I'll go. Yeah. But like, there's enough places that to be gone to that I will kind of only consider those unless I'm really psyched about a specific place. And then I just like want to make that happen. Do you have your next location? No. So dude, this is, I'm in part of the cycle right now. So it's like, I do, I get, I go crazy planning the trip.

I go on the trip. I get back. Ah, that was so sick. I kind of dread sitting down and started editing. I started, I start, I'm incredibly depressed for like three weeks being like,

this is going nowhere. I am crawling. There's nothing. You turn the corner eventually. Then I get excited again, drop it. Super excited. Then it's out.

And like a few days in, nobody gives a fuck about it anymore you're deeply depressed again i'm like i don't know if i can do this again this is our podcast then one night i get fucking one night i get bombed and then i'm like dude it would be sick to go to saudi arabia i start texting the camera guy last night this happened to me dude five tequilas i'm like dude saudi arabia would be sick dude yeah he's like all right yeah sure dude whatever and then like messaging people whatever and then so that's how it usually happens so i'm about to enter that phase again where like i get psyched to plan the next one dude it is after something really nice happens

to you it's crazy how depressed yeah postpartum it's cyclical depression yeah it is postpartum yeah no matter what it is there's another thing that's going to you be excited about and then depressed about. Yeah. Because of said excitement. Yeah. Because of a flash in the pan type of, you know, release of endorphins, whatever the fuck it is. You're like, yeah, it was amazing. Yeah.

Three days go by, you're like, how am I going to do the next one? Yeah. Being familiar with that is very helpful. Understanding that like every single time I've done this, I've turned the corner. I've learned something. I've gotten better at it. I've made cool shit. This is why child stars

die of heroin or killing themselves. Oh my God. Because they get one, they get hired for one big show and they're not used to, you know,

going on auditions and getting multiple shows that don't go past two seasons. Yeah. And then they're doing fucking H-Town. Yeah, they start growing hair in their gas station bathroom. They let their fucking dick start growing hair in there yeah they just become a mess

of themselves yeah you do home alone yeah right it's the biggest thing ever yeah everybody loves you it's like why would they stop loving me it's like wait till you get facial hair yeah and then you fuck yeah right the point is constant failure now you're just good for you now you're just a now you're just a representation of how fast they're dying yes and no one likes to see that so if you're a child star it's like literally i hope you die young and you always stay young but yes it's a very cyclical yeah selfish industry i try to remind myself that i'm doing everything that i hoped i would be doing eventually i I said, yeah, just like completely poor, hopeless in my twenties had absolutely no prayer of getting out of the hole.

It was like, this is never going to happen. I hope that one day I can get to X, Y, Z. And now that I'm sitting here in X, Y, Z, I'm like, I hope I just need to like take a moment every once in a while to appreciate it. Yeah. And not be a cynical piece of shit. It's just like everybody that we hang out with. You just kind of. to appreciate it yeah and not be a cynical piece of this is like everybody

julia two lessons i've learned one is to stop surrounding yourself with those because the industry's that's 99 it's not possible 99 but if you get a small circle of friends that influence your your attitude and your mindset in let's say most of the way that you want to be yeah that's everything second was deleting Facebook I'm not kidding I changed my fucking life because the amount of fucking filth it's what's Twitter's actually turning into what I thought Facebook was. It's not just jokes and news. Now it's like opinions and fucking weird ants. Yeah. It's hellish. It's hellish. It depends on the day for me. Some days I have the sort of like living within myself-ness and like confident and confidence and just like feeling good. So that stuff doesn't bother me. But then the days where I don't have that, it very much does bother

me. Yeah. It's like a given day thing. That's probably normal, but then the days where I don't have that it very much does bother me Yeah, yeah, you know given day thing Yeah, I mean I feel like it is it's like almost like Yeah, taking mushrooms or something when they first kick you're like, all right, this is this rules and then you're like I'm gonna unthink this. Yeah. And you do have those days when you're like feeling bad and it's like someone's being really cynical about something. You're just like, fuck, maybe that guy's right.

Or it'll be a guy who has it way better than you and he'll be sitting there bitching about shit and you're like, dude, come on. Yeah. I know your audience a little. Like I'm your friend. Of course you can complain to me about stuff. But like, you have to be reasonable.

Things are going pretty good. You're doing great, bro. The fact that this is a career at all is insane. Yeah. If you're bitching about your Lexus getting dropped off because your fucking engine light's on. It's like, shut the fuck up. I don't have time for that right now. I'm trying to get pizza

for the next three days. I gotta let this sit for three days. I gotta go sing for my soup this afternoon. It's the reason I don't get diarrhea from old cheese

is because I train my body the last decade to eat a week old pizza. That's why I got a tough stomach for these oysters in fucking Croatia. You're just eating raw meat off the side of the street.

When you're poor for a decade, your stomach tends to have a fucking stronger palate. Drinking out of the faucet in Mexico. No problem. Yeah, I got this. This is my fucking rocky moment. Do you steer clear of vegetables when you're in foreign lands? Depends where. I try to get a scouting report on that beforehand.

I'm like, I ate whatever I wanted. It was completely fine. Food's fucking amazing, too. Really? But if I'm in Mexico, I'll try to eat only cooked stuff. Yeah. And I'll rinse my toothbrush with bottled water. Really?

Yeah. And, you know, I just don't want to get, I just don't want to feel like shit. Especially, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You only have a couple days there. It's like I don't want to fucking be shitting my brains out

the whole time. So like in Western Europe and the US and like different places, like the water is like completely fine. You don't have to worry about that. Other places,

you just kind of like be generally, but I'll eat crazy shit. I mean, when I was in south america i was really struggling to find a good angle so i was like all right dude i'm just gonna be the eat weird stuff guy because i do nothing else so i like this guy told me about this dish dude it was actually hilarious uh i ate a guinea pig and he's like you think this is crazy

what whoa he's like there's this thing where they take a sheep's bread like they cook a sheep's brain and soup and when you're done yeah she sheep skull yeah when you're done eating the soup they chop its brain open with an axe and then they serve you the brain and you eat the brain dude brains are good I'm gonna try to find this dish so I go around I'm asking people about it nobody knows what I'm talking about dude I swear to God. So I go around, I'm asking people about it. Nobody knows what I'm talking about. Dude, I swear to God. Dude, I saw on Faces of Death where they cracked the monkey skull and cut it open. Which Faces of Death?

One of the earlier ones. What is Faces of Death? Yeah. Oh, it's a compilation of murder and death. Nice, dude. Did you ever get into that? Nice. They chain a monkey

in the middle of a table in some foreign fucking lane and they whack him with a hammer as he spins around in horror and then when he

finally gets knocked out they saw his the top of his skull off and they oh yeah all these brain lovers like in Indiana Jones they're eating this

monkey brains dude so okay so I'm going around town asking people about this dish I'm describing it I'm like you know they like chop the sheep's brain open they're like dude we don't know what going around town asking people about this dish i'm describing it i'm like you know they like chop the sheep's brain open that i did we don't know the fuck you're talking about eventually dude i'm i'm describing this and there was like a guy sitting by himself

in the corner like looking the other way and he hears me describing and he goes dude i swear to god yeah yeah literally like he and then he like explained where to go to get it he really this old man knew and then i like found it at this market and i ate it and it was disgusting like it was disgusting uh yeah i ate a like a uh pig's head like the face yeah ate the face the cheeks are supposed to be yeah wonderful it's so good where'd you do that uh this was at a place called alice spina oh that's here oh yeah yeah yeah and uh eight eyeballs i mean i was like we ordered the head it's like i'm i'm gonna try it yeah it's fun i'm down to try it's good why it's like uh when a fucking when a lady gets a fajita at a restaurant it's like you don't want all that

fucking attention it's not your birthday shut up what's wrong with wait what's wrong with the fajita our fajitas can you hot fajitas

come out because it's like a high maintenance dish kill yourself you get it all over your shirt I would be so embarrassed if one of you one of you four

were fucking hot I'm gonna write this down real quick why you ever go to dinner with Tommy I don't know what I'm gonna say

I'd rather have the entire kitchen come out clapping and singing happy birthday. They get a fucking pig's head sent to the table. Yeah. Why? You're embarrassing. I will say this. When I ate the head, the people watching me now. I'm going to get you a mariachi band.

I'll take it. And then I'm ordering this. Mariachi boys are fucking hot chunksters dude Marriachi dudes are always hot chunk man

hilarious little fatty baddies 10 pound fatty baddie 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag they're always you know they always

have trouble getting that belly button button going you know what I mean little sexy fat pots have you ever had sizzling fajitas

they're so delicious. They're so good. They're the best. Dude, you're an idiot. I am, and they're not. Dude, the secret is to put the side stuff into the sizzling. Yes. Like the rice gets a little like, it's like BB and Bob, dude.

It gets all fucking crispy, bro. It's fucking good. Dude, I went to Costa Rica in like 2003. It was during Med Cal In Europe Okay And I never

I didn't know What Carpaccio was So we went to this resort And this waiter comes out And he's like And I was like Ooh Thinly sliced beef

With olive oil And parmesan I was like It's fucking incredible This is gonna be great And everything's like Paid for and shit So I order the Carpaccio

He comes back It's kind of dark lit You know It's like dusk and shit so i order the carpaccio he comes back it's kind of dark lit you know it's like dusk yeah it's beautiful everything's perfect yeah the meat was delicious very tender i have to like i picked the plate up to go like under a candle and was like this isn't i don't think this is cooked it's not cooked and i start bugging out to my girl I was like I think this is wrong me so I'm a fucking out of my mind but 23 I didn't fucking eat that little fucking idiot so I'm looking for the view of you gaslighting the staff countries dude this is the second story this is the second time dude

15 minutes he's embarrassed about sizzling fajitas he's like you fucking rob me you serve me

right now where's the manager listen I keep the peace in apple peace

or fucking correlation I keep peace his girlfriend is just like, oh my God. Nah, dude. She had traveled with this guy.

Nah, she got to Carpaccio later that night. So, I get to fucking, I finally find a guy. I walk right into that. I wave. That's excellent.

That's great. I wave him down. I wave him down and I'm like, trying to describe to this guy without saying you know mad calzies I was like is this raw meat and he's like yes it's raw it's raw and I was like it's it's great it's wonderful but is it safe and I don't know how to like describe it is it is it is it safe? And I don't know how to like describe it. Is it safe? And then you see it click with him. He was like, oh, no,

no, no, no crazy cow in Costa Rica. That's funny. No crazy cow. That's insane. And then the whole staff just laughed at me every time they faced it.

Crazy cow. I was convincing myself I was going to shit out every orifice of my fucking skull. You just at the beach the next day like yeah it's a crazy crazy

yeah and I'm peeling I just wish that the chef had been just your equivalent you think I'm gonna serve bad meat to you

you think I'm putting shitty meat yeah he took it so disrespectfully dude Costa Rica's an underrated destination even though it's a place that like everybody's gone

it's still like it's like the only place that I can think of in like besides Canada like in this hemisphere that you can just like drive around freely

and not have to think twice yeah Costa Rica yeah super chill super safe did you guys go to Tamarindo? I did, yeah.

Is that where you went? No. Oh. No, I read about it. No, it's just, it's the only destination in like Endless Summer. Oh, got it.

So everyone goes there for like surfing. Yeah. Yeah. It's a big surf town. I think it's in Endless Summer too, actually. Dude, I went to Costa Rica

with my dad, dude, this year. Chris, tell us the plot of Endless Summer too. Yeah,, I went to Costa Rica with my dad. Chris, tell us the plot of Endless Summer 2. That's 0 for 2 on stories. The nicest guy ever just has to go Yeah. I thought that the story was over. I didn't know that it was just the beginning. No, it was.

So funny. Dude, I went with my dad to Costa Rica, bro. And he lives in Connecticut. And he always drives and then parks at a place that isn't at the airport to save money. And then there's a shuttle bus. And he just always underestimates how long that's going to take. And he always almost misses the flight. And every time he's like, the traffic. Like as if he's never seen traffic before yeah how early do i gotta

leave so dude last time they like something happened where they like there was no shuttle the place wasn't whatever so he ended up just parking at a walgreens in the rockaways and being like fuck it there was a giant sign that was like vehicles will be towed after 12 hours we went to the question here for six days and he's just like i pray to god on the plane he's taking his mask off being like i'll slip you a hundred bucks to not let them tell me i'm like dad you need to chill we do we get back and the car's still there no ticket no yeah that sign's that's a decoration and also it's also like as expensive as expensive as airport parking is it's like it's probably cheaper to get a toad and just pick it up it's probably true it's actually true is this the walgreens by the beach uh no it's not by the beach because that's a mother i know that one though yeah me too

you never forget it it's a weird area oh it's disgusting it's very odd you can't get a bag of ice unless you sit in line for three fucking hours dude the vibe that i get when i go there like in that in like the sandy whatever it's called it's crazy point whatever the fuck it's called you're like oh these are a bunch of people who like we're trying to get away from minorities yeah there's like it's a massive trump country it's like people who like worked in this worked for the city and like it just beat them down, dude. Yeah.

And they've just seen the worst of everybody and they wanted to get as far away from it as possible without having to go further away. And you can tell by their bathing suits, you know what I mean? That's all you gotta do is just take a look at the way they're dressed. You know, the one lumpy bitch

has like half her thong caught up in her ass crack. You know? She's got the side rolls holding like a bag of chips and shit. It's interesting to say that one lady from Star Wars. I can see the one I'm talking about right now. Yes, yes.

Which one? In the cantina? No, it's actually in... That theme playing the clarinet. Fucking Jabba. The bar scene is the best. That's a dream of mine. To get enough money outside of the water park.

To open a legit canteen. No, just to remake the Star Wars canteen. So every time you flick the light on, they're all bopping around doing the same shit. But it's just us three just having whiskeys and I just hire a bartender. And you get to say to someone like, he doesn't like you. I don't like you either

you never know when you're gonna get fucking knocked out by some shitty I wanna piss