Stuff Island - Stuff Island #26 - door code w/ Shane Gillis

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

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This might be one of the first morning podcasts I've ever done in my life. I fucking hate it. Realize Podcast is the one. That's the hellish. Yes. What time does that one start? Starts at 11. But you got to get up the same time we did.

Yeah. At nine, travel a fucking hour and a half. Just to listen to fucking Lewis rant. The first 20 minutes is Lewis ranting. Yeah. Because he's jacked up. He's ready to go. Is he an early riser?

Yeah, he's got a kid. Yeah, he is. Oh, okay. Any early podcast, you're on a kid's schedule and they always have children he doesn't get hammered like that very often he doesn't he's so he can wake up he wakes up yeah yeah and he's just going and you gotta sit there like jesus christ he's calling people he's like there's fucking pieces i don't want to have i don't want to be a clip of me trashing some fucking guy i don't know i thought it would be what are you a

pussy trash him all right i'll trash mark random or whatever dude i'll go four hours without saying a word to anyone but a barista so they thought of like going to someone's podcast and just like yeah trying to be funny it's like i don't care about fucking anything right now i'm gonna shut this door you knocked you knocked on the door you woke me up i was in the middle of giving a speech i was giving a speech about why north korea likes nuclear weapons i have no idea why i was talking about that to yourself you're giving a speech it the room? I was dreaming. I was giving a speech. I was on a hillside. I was on a hillside.

Is that where the bodies are? Might have been. That hill? I know that hill. You fucking weirdo. It was. They were coming out of the side, right? Is that the old dream story? He's got a hill.

He's got a hill in his dreams where he's got bodies. And it just shows up in his dreams. In the middle of random dreams. He'll be like, oh shit, there's that random dreams he'll be like oh shit there's that hill i'm having a good oh fuck i forgot all the bodies are in that hill yeah that's scary i we were kind we were all we were on a hill where it was me everyone was in like a class we were all sitting indian style like little kids and they were asking like why do you think north korea loves you know should we should we blow north korea up i was like i was like yeah i mean i don't think they're gonna i don't think

they're gonna stop with this whole nuclear so you're like time to kill them i started talking about it i woke as i was like i was in the shower thinking about it. Everything I was saying was making absolutely no sense. I've watched a lot of their anime. That was part of my speech. It's funny that that's America's foreign policy. We're like a cop with a gun on a guy. We're like, don't pick that gun up. Don't do it.

I'm going to have to shoot you. And they're like, I'm going to do it. It's career suicide by cop. I'm gonna have to shoot you and they're like I gotta do it dude it's career suicide by God yeah and they can't they can't it's not a gun

they're picking up like a fucking nerf gun nothing they have works yeah it's got like no we're gonna blow them up and be like oh fuck

nothing they had worked it is scary dude I'm I'm fucking dumb as shit with that stuff though what you don't have to worry about that I know but no one has to worry about the way the way they they portray it you're like well they are close to alaska i dude if i hear one headline like alaska dude somebody new

class i'm just seeing if it fucking puts me into any it's not gonna change my mood dude it would be funny if Alaska got nuked, people would be more upset about the animals dying than the people there for sure. I just mean, I'm the guy that fear-mongering media goes after. Because then I'll just spew that to everybody I see that day. I'll be like, well, yeah, they can easily hit a button. They can hit a button.

I spent two weeks straight going, they can hit a button. No facts to back you up. You guys are fucking mad men. Yeah. And then they would say logistically how it's impossible. And I'm like, well, you never know. And I just back out of the conversation.

Yeah. It'd be funny if they hit Alaska. They would. If they're like, now, the death of America. They hit Alaska. We're like, Anchorage?

You're in trouble. You're in big trouble, man. Can't visit Anchorage anymore? Yeah, I just did. What is up in Alaska? It's just mining, right? They're just mining stuff? Well, hopefully

we can get more oil if the dumb Democrats get the fuck out of the way. That way we're not beholden to Russia like we are right now. Canada's got a bunch of stuff. I like the inflation going on.

What? Oh, God. How far are we? Yeah, here we go. You want to talk Alaska, natural resources? Let's talk about not drilling it. Yeah, I don't think we should drill it. No?

You want to rely on Russia? Yeah, yeah. I think Musk is going to save us. Let's rely on Russia and Saudi Arabia. No, Musk is going to make a bigger, better battery, a smaller, better battery. I think he just suggested drilling up there. God damn it.

I'm fairly certain he publicly was like, look, I'm trying to get off oil, but we need to drill. Yeah. No, we got to. I'm for electric cars. I hope Elon Musk does well. Don't we have to mine those batteries out of like child slaves? Yeah.

Lithium ion, I think all of it comes from china we're gonna come up with a way to make that i was baffled like boat gas wasn't that more much more expensive than car gas yeah yeah his brother he's like we gotta we gotta fill up and i was like jesus like i was like yeah i looked at my pocket i was like yeah dude i've been on your boat for four hours i got like five bucks on me me. It's got to get gas to a dock. That means it's got to be an extra four bucks a gallon. Yeah. Yeah, it was five bucks a gallon.

It was like, you know, I was still crazy. 550 or something like that. You put 150 gallons in. But not that bad, yeah. Right? 150? It was like 500 hours. No, no, no.

He only put in 30. Sorry, $30. Where did we land on? I don't know, dude. What did he spend that day? Look, we're trying to figure out how to be funny in the morning. All right? Sorry, $30. Where did we land on? I don't know. What did we spend that day? Look, we're trying to figure out how to be funny in the morning. All right?

Sorry, the podcast. By the way, it's my fault the podcast is late. Matt couldn't... We had to do a podcast yesterday. We did it at Louie's house. So we had to borrow the equipment here because Matt couldn't make it up.

His lady had some pregnancy stuff going on. Yeah. So we had to take this equipment, bring it to Louie's house. I thought had some pregnancy stuff going on. Yeah. And so we had to take this equipment, bring it to Louie's house. I thought we'd be back by six, seven at the latest. Man, that guy can talk.

Holy shit. 10 o'clock. We got done. It was five hours. Dude, yeah. Five hours, dude. That's a fucking potty break beyond belief for me.

Well, we did. I'm done for now. This is what I, no. I would have had a fucking, I would have had a two hour sandwiches. Two hours. Yeah,

the first one was two hours and then I was like, all right, we got to switch over to the Patreon and he was like, no, what's a Patreon?

Don't do that. I was like, all right, well, this is free. I had to do ad reads in front of him. I couldn't read.

Oh no. I couldn't read. Wait, your ads are real? You read them? Yeah, they email me. Dude. I couldn't read. Oh, no. I couldn't read. Wait, your ads are real? You read them? Yeah, they email me. Dude. I can't think of anything more painful than reading ads.

I thought you had an option to just throw them on the visual and audio. What do you mean? Don't they just place the ads, insert them for you as an option? No, they send you ad reads. Oh, okay. You just read them. But we could have done them after yeah and just inserted them in but i was like that's the end of the pod here i'll read these

ads yeah and they this is the first time the ad reads ever tried to include jokes that the way we talk oh no so it was like did you know that or you just no i've never seen it first time i looked down and it was like are you ready for the wiki wiki wild weed whacker from the man i was like god fucking damn it and then i couldn't read yeah i started like stuttering and shit and he was sitting at his desk like jesus and then he got up and left and i had to continue to read that's the best case scenario did he shake his head and leave yeah he was like and you're doing ad reads you're doing patreon and ad reads god and i was like, and you're doing ad reads? You're doing Patreon and ad reads? God.

And I was like, oh, man, I know. We tried to not do this. We were wasting money. Dude, I remember the pressure was on me when I read it compounded you. That's impossible. Yeah, I'm like, let's kick it over to Tom for some ads. And I'm like, fuck. And it was on the teleprompter. I was like have you ever had trouble in bed

Shane's face is fucking right here he's like no Tom why go on I'm like oh fuck you Shane and I would go piss while he did the ads yeah

that's when the rocket all the Bud Light piss would come out that's the best case scenario dude that's the best case scenario if you fuck off and you can just settle in

get it out it's disgusting you feel gross but uh your friends are there. It's horribly embarrassing. And you're too scared to even try to riff and fuck around with it. This is when I knew. This is when I texted you like, we're going to be late.

He was like, you guys want cheeseburgers? Yes. So he starts cooking and shit. He cooked them? Yeah, he made cheeseburgers. How were they? Fucking delicious. Really? Yeah. and shit. He cooked them? Yeah, he made cheeseburgers. How were they? Fucking delicious. Really?

Yeah. What did he put on them? Just cheese, tomato, ketchup. Good burger. Did you see the meat preparation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was high quality meat. Yeah, it was high quality meat.

Was it? 80-20? Was it just beef? I don't know. Do you know what percentage? You got me going now, boy. You just activated my day mind. Did he gavel you out for the lunch break?

Yeah. Did you have a nice scotch or something? I feel like you guys smoked cigars and a nice scotch. No, we did have some cigarettes after, which was nice. Oh, very nice. Nice after the cheeseburger cigarette. After the last podcast cigarette. Yeah.

It was good. But yeah, he was just going, dude. He had all that in there. He's never spoken publicly. I was going to say that. For years. So he was just fucking ripping he had all that in there he's never done and he's never spoken publicly i was gonna say that years so he was just fucking ripped up dude ready to go he was ripping he's luckily he doesn't have a landlord he'd be like can you sit down i want to talk to you for three hours about what my last week was flying and uh it was really it was really great it's just long it's just great does he study all this shit or is it just from his accumulating autobiographies and shit?

Yeah, he was just obsessed with it since he was a kid. So he says it in the podcast. He's like, he moved from Mexico when he was seven. This is the best part of the podcast. So hopefully you get there.

Well, we're not going to release until Wednesday. It doesn't matter. It's five hours. They're not going to see it. There's a part in this fucking Moby Dick that we recorded. This is crazy. I hope there's a dude who only listens to podcasts while he runs and he passes out fucking slams his head.

So he gets to a part where he moved from Mexico and it was when Nixon, I think, was in office. So he moved from Mexico to Boston, and he was a seven-year-old Mexican kid that was like, the president is the most powerful man in the world. And he had a picture of Nixon in his room. And he loved Nixon. And then he said he had a dream about Nixon. He's like, it's the first dream I remember as a kid

was hearing a marching band coming down my street, me looking out the window, and it was Nixon leading a marching band to my house, to his house. And then he comes outside and Nixon gets on one knee and goes, Louie. He gives him a hug and hugs him. And he's like, I love Nixon so much. And then it was right when Watergate happened. So every night he'd come home and his parents were watching the news like, what the fuck?

Fuck this guy. And he's like, how's Nixon? I've had a similar dream with like Santa Claus. Yeah, that was his Santa Claus. I mean, that was the most, he was from Mexico, which was like, you know, shit, it was Mexico in the 70s. Yeah. And then he came to America and was like, this is the best place in the world.

Nixon's the fuck, Nixon's Santa Claus. Yeah. That's Santa Claus. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. To have a picture of Nixon in a seven-year-old Mexican's room. He's so cool.

It's fun to think of him as a little redhead Mexican. Yeah, a little chubby redhead Mexican. Like a Mexican boy with an accent. Like it's such a far. Who introduced him to Nixon? Did he just... He just knew. He knew the president. He was the president.

At seven? Yeah, he probably had to go to school and they're like, who's the president of the United States? Yeah, it's big out there.

Yeah. You gotta do the fucking pledge, all that shit. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I had any idea who the president was.

Yeah, you did. Until... I always knew. Yeah. Your dad was probably saying shit. Also, they were always on television.

That's all he talked about was the president. I remember being excited. When I was seven, it was Clinton. You were a big Clinton family. No, I don't remember. Come on. What are you, nuts? I remember OJ.

I remember when Bush, the second Bush, got elected. I was kind of excited because I knew. You were like a freshman in high school. Yeah, dude. What are you fucking talking about? You were in high school. Yeah, dude.

I didn't. Of course you remember that. Well, I knew who Clinton was, but I had no idea. Well, that's the crux of this. You knew who the president was. No, no, but I swear to Godx of this you knew who the president was Until like the Monica Lewinsky shit happened, I don't think I really that's a good point cuz I don't think I really remember SNL covered every president every Saturday night

I knew George I knew the first Bush because I read a lot about the Gulf remember Kyrie did him on SNL like yeah but

hold on he's about to say he used to read a lot about the Gulf War yeah no but in books because it was like I had like

World War II military stuff and then I had like World War II military stuff and then I had like just about how badly we kicked our ass in the Gulf War but I didn't like

I didn't I didn't know what he was up to outside of that no of course not but you knew the guy yeah that's

Louis didn't know who Nixon was he just was like that's the guy that's the best guy ever. So maybe the reason I knew Clinton was because my dad was going around the house all day going like, fucking piece of shit, because he lost. Yeah.

I don't remember my parents bellyaching about it. I bet they bellyached about W quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever it's not their guy, they're going to belly ache. Yeah, once the Lewinsky stuff happened and Bush v. Gore went down, there was a lot of... I just like... That was how I got introduced to politics. That's what I'm going to do on every podcast from now on, just presidents.

Yeah. Just did fucking seven hours of presidents. Now it's just presidents. I'll do a lot of what Matt did on the first one. I'll just stare at you. What? I'll wait till you're done. What?

Yeah, I'll be like, yeah, he was handsome. I like that guy. Holy shit. He was charismatic and handsome. Other than that, who gives a fuck? I wish we learned more about European history in school. I don't feel like we learned anything about what the hell happened with Europe. Less of all that.

What are you going to teach these kids, though? Think about teaching a class. Think of the girls in your class. Yeah. You're going to be like, hey, kids, let's talk about archduke france just remembering a cup that collection of words i would i'd fail the test i'm like ferdinand duker yeah i like that guy he's got a hell of a fastball his back can't can you see yeah dude i i wish there was more of that japan i i tried to watch a documentary about the samurai yeah that's fun yeah the different warring the different warring factions the new one yeah the new one yeah i didn't start

yet that's things you you should consume when you get older and then go oh now it makes sense back when i was young yeah you shouldn't start that when you're young you should learn like cpr and how to cook catholic school is dog shit literally i went to to this day i've i've only gotten through like a 30 seconds of a tutorial how to properly save someone using cpr well they change it they have to change it all the time because no one will ever do it in person yeah no kissing now you don't have to kiss the best part just hit the stomach you told me you wouldn't you wouldn't give your mom be like what's he doing oh no because of covid because of covid no i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't have i literally was faced with cpr on my own mother yeah that story fucking levels i said she's dead i'm not gonna make out with her

now she's gone dude i actually i look at people's mouths sometimes where like, and I imagine, that's my question to myself. I'd be like, if they passed out right now, could I do it? Bro. And there isn't anyone. Here's your mother. Think of your mother. Tongue red from wine.

Purple tongue. Yeah. Oreos in the teeth. Black chunks with a purple tongue. This is also what I eat at night. Snort. Yeah, it's going to be you. With a gummy worm.

Tom? Tom? Just a whiskey worm. Wake up, Tom! It's like a baited hook for you. You're going to wake up one night and be just... Sucking a worm out of there whatever it takes man keep you alive yeah you don't do mouth to mouth you have to go right

in between the titties and and hit the sternum right yeah so it's neither isn't fun for your mom well either it's going between at that point my mom was like 60 so the tits weren't even close to the center yeah those things were they were out of the way. Melting candles. But my sister was right there. So I was like, you do it. Did she do it? Or she went close to see if she was breathing? She was panicking.

So here's the story. If you go- You got to do it like a baby. Lean him up and hit him on the back. She, I was home. I was literally going to go, is that true? Yeah, I'll tell you two babies. Go ahead, I'm sorry.

I was home. I just got gonna go is that true yeah i'm sorry i was i was home i was i just got home from college maybe it was probably after that uh i was just down in the basement playing ncaa football killing it and uh my my family was out at like a wine thing yeah some wine i don't know what they were doing there's like wineries in the appellations and that's where they were and they came home fucking shit face it was my sister and both my parents and my mom came running she grabbed some oreos she was up in the kitchen munching some oreos and then came running down the steps to see me she was excited i love when parents snack like drunk and you know what's funny i remember

there was oreos sitting on the island in the kitchen, which is the first thing you see when you walk in my house. I knew why she did it. It's not like she opened the cabinet. She just walked in and was like, Oh, Shane's here. Shane! Came running down the steps and midway down the steps just left her feet. Like a running back crossing the goal line they just elevated

well i think she dropped a cookie and went to pick it up and fell forward but she fell down the whole bottom six steps because there's like a landing she fell down and went there's a wall at the base of the steps yeah so she fell head first cracked oh it takes like an l turn yeah the steps take an l turn and there's a wall at the bottom and she head first into the wall knocked out totally unconscious immediately unconscious and my sister was behind her it was like oh my god mom's fucking dead she started screaming that my mom's dead so I paused my game ran over

and I was like oh she's dead your dad screamed and my dad was upstairs he's like what what he was doing that thing where you lose your voice

he's like what what's going on and my sister who's in panic mode was like mom's dead call an ambulance and I was the one person that was like

relax everybody stay calm it's everything's okay and she was all she was unkind but that's when I had to face the dilemma of like

I was like we gotta get her we gotta get her tongue we gotta get her tongue out cause she was knocked out like she was breathing like that that's what two screams. Pull it out, yeah. She was breathing like that.

Dude, that's what Nate was doing when he fucking passed out. Snoring? Yeah, just immediate... It was crazy. Why'd he pass out? From the train. When he jumped off the train. He got the vapors, dude.

He got hit with the vapors, dude. He's like, oh my lord. He passed out because his foot hurt. He got scared it's understandable because the way Chris described it was like

very bizarre that he just blacked out from like his leg hurting yeah like he got knocked out but I guess he got whiplashed and then

yeah hit him like 10 minutes later it's a bizarre I think he was just excited he was excited it was scary yeah

I think his heart was just trying to catch up. Yeah. He jumped. Yeah. He jumped to God, dude. Dude, that did. You're talking about Joan going down the stairs. It reminded me of how many times as a kid I would try to run down the stairs and trip.

Yeah. And then just jump. You know what I mean? There's no other way to save it. The amount of times that i like landed at the bottom and hit in school like i i crashed to the bottom of stairs oh yeah all the time we had no uh you know that plastic fake wood panel yeah they covered like exposed brick and rocks that was just like old concrete from like a hundred year old house punch that

every piece of that was blasted out in the in the basement just completely destroyed from us playing football and fucking around oh yeah and we had a standalone toilet that used to have you know a block like it used to be blocked off so you went down there it was just exposed brick shitty tile that was linoleum dude and then a stand alone like like a prison prison toilet yeah jail toilet like a south american

prison toilet stand alone and we only had two two toilets so someone was always activated you know what I mean in like cold stone

oh my god how scary that must have been yeah dark as fuck turning the lights off down there must have been the scariest dude

until like 12 years old I couldn't go down the basement yeah I was still scared of that yeah I was still scared of that over covid I spent time playing xbox in the basement. Yeah, I was still scared of that. Yeah. I was still scared of that. Over COVID, I spent time playing Xbox in the basement. And even then, I'd turn the lights off and... Dude, you...

You got to get the dog call. You had a second gear going up there. Second gear for sure. You start imagining what that demon looks like. Yeah. Then you run up the steps and your dad's sitting there like, what are you, running? He's doing something. He knows how scary the dark is.

The ghost is your mom's down there? Oh, the best part is at the end, we had to call an ambulance. And they showed up. This is after my mom gained consciousness. They got there. Did you pull her tongue out or you didn't have to? No. I think my sister may have.

I was like, you do it i was like get her but then the ambulance was there and they're like are you all right and she was like yeah i'm fine my hand hurts her middle finger was just over she was was like, no, I'm fine. I'm embarrassed you guys are here, but my hand hurts. And we were all like, oh, shit. Even the EMT was like, oh. Take my strong hand. It was bad. It's like you fucking see any professional football player, like on Monday Night Football, they put their hand up

and they always have that wonky pinky. Yeah, it's the best when those guys have to snap it back in during the game. Yeah. They just go to the sideline and fucking... Pull it. Yeah. Some guys have it

permanently like that. Like, I think Edelman has that. Yeah. He's got, like, two janky fingers. I feel like most football players have, like, a permanent angle on one of their fingers.

What? That's not correctable? I think as it heals, it, like, moves a certain direction. It's actually corrected in time. I broke my hand once and the knuckle went all the way back here.

And that's... How did you break your hand? I punched a wall. Yeah, I had a feeling. A couple drinks, you punched a wall. I was actually sober. That was the one saving grace is that I was sober. So in my head, I went, you know what? It was real rage.

It wasn't my fault. It was real rage. I made up a goal. I was playing goalie. I made up a goal, and I had to show them, and I got it right. I got a little uppercut to the padded wall and just broke it in the glove. How many Rangers do you think punched the wall last night? I don't know. Probably a couple.

Do you think they grow out of that? I bet they don't. No. Professional hockey players? I bet you there's a couple Rangers that got home last night and punched the wall. But they know how to do it, right? The doctor told me. He's like, this is a boxer's fracture,

but it's actually a bit of a misnomer because a real boxer would know how to throw a punch and wouldn't break his pinky. What a fucking cocksucker. Yeah. There's a little mean to say and the doxies

were just wearing off by the time he came to reset it. So I had to like poop and throw up and the doctor finally comes in to like grab my terrible hand and reset it with his. It's good.

That's a good doctor being like, now look, you're going to think you're tough by the way. You actually throw a punch like a girl. Yeah. So the one thing I had was like kind of cool, right? Like,

you know, boxers fracture. Nope. Not cool. Did he tell you how to throw a proper punch? Not in the moment. He was resetting my hand. No,

I didn't get a chance. That's a good psychological move though right because you're trying to deactivate the pain or focus on a patient focusing on their pride instead of their physical pain it's like a doctor giving a a needle to a baby and they're like for adults you're just like the proper way to you know punch a wall look at me look at me i farted and it's terrible right Right now? Yeah. You're a fucking scumbag. It's so bad. I deserve this.

It's literally the only thing you should do. I thought it would, I thought it would. Now he's puffing. I thought I'd sneak it. I deserve this. It's because I took the equipment. I deserve everything that's happening. No, no.

It's because I didn't eat anything and I haven't coffee. Did you not have time to make a morning movement? Is that why? Yeah, no. I sat down and gave the morning movement an attempt because I had a feeling this was coming. Yeah. Yeah. So you got have time to make a morning movement? Is that why? I sat down and gave the morning movement an attempt because I had a feeling this was coming. Yeah. So you got to touch it out. Farted loud. I'm good.

In and out. Well, my last two farts didn't smell. Jesus. That's pretty good. Here's another thing a doctor should talk about. Dude, you've been the way you've been shitting, you've been, did you change your diet? What do you mean? It stinks, man.

Your shits have been horrible. People's dump stinks. Yeah. But it was particularly bad. It's the sweetness from the IPAs. That was a little bit of sweetness, the smell of Chris. Tommy shits like a man. We do. When I was here, I Chris. Tommy shits like a man. We do.

When I was here, I mean, we were putting on a clinic. It was two dudes shitting hard. Loud. Bless. The problem is this was your gaming chair. Oh, I was sitting right there. Right next, right next to the banter.

Every time he'd sit down and hit that initial, like, I was right out here through the, oh, Tom! He'd be like, shut up! It here through the door. Oh, Tom! He'd be like, shut up! It's literally the only thing

you don't want. Hearing fucking and hearing shit. Yeah, yeah. Just stay away. And I heard both of them. I know, because you're right next

to the fucking both of them. I was up till, and I would be going till three. Noon to 3 a.m. I was sitting right here. Any shit or fuck, I heard.

I was just waiting. Yeah, she got those headphones you used to wear at night. I saw that video I got of you the other day. I was looking for like an old video

and I saw that one. Where you walked out? Yeah, you're on your things. You're talking to somebody. Oh, nice. Yeah,

I'm sitting there. Dude, nice. Oh, what the fuck? His shields are down. Tommy's just standing there. And he goes, oh, you got me, you son of a fucker.

And then there's a threat. There's like a 10-minute pause. You're like, but don't forget the one I got on you. I got a lot. Every night I'd come back from doing shows, these two would be in there. Fucking piece of shit. We got to get back on that dude yeah

we were playing with I think you were on the road we were playing with some some of the kids some of the bros yeah some of the bros and like we were screaming like

fuck shit said she called you or bleep her name yeah remind her to edit that out your lady called you

sorry and she was like she was like are they what's going on down there are they alright should I go down there oh I think she thought

you guys were fighting she thought you guys were literally in a fist fight yeah that makes sense fuck yeah shut the fuck up

it gets it gets pretty fucking serious it can get there it can get when you lose a fake life it can get close yeah

I've heard it yeah I've yeah I've heard it. Yeah. Yeah, I've witnessed it. There's been a couple times we got close. I think there was like, we were more of a little push. What, in that game? You almost got in a fight. Yeah, yeah.

You almost got in a fight, Chris. What? I heard you almost got in a fight. With who? Down in Nash, Vegas. Who did I almost get in a fight with? With the mayor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really? Yeah, yeah. Holy moly. Almost blows, dude. The mayor and I. I finally got fight with? Oh, LeMare. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Almost blows, dude. LeMare and I. I finally got the full report. Garth gave me the report yesterday. If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it.

Yes, he does. Yeah. It's a funny, because LeMare talks shit. I know he does. Also, he's been talking a lot of shit lately. He'll just say things. I noticed when he came up through your podcast, this kid was like flying on a different level. I'm like, what happened to you?

He was so sweet. Yeah. He was so sweet. Especially late at night, he gets... Well, I guess I do too. You were two for two in fights the first two days. You and me got a nice one. You want to hear him fight. This is a good one.

That was on you. That one's on you. Of course. Just like LaMare's was on him. Well, that was on LaMare, yeah. Mine's on me? I think so. All right. Gentlemen.

Let me, let me. Let's act like it's nobody's fault. Tell the facts. I will determine. Here's, here's the way I see it. Yeah. All right. So we get home.

We were out drinking. This is Shane's lens. Mark Shane's lens. We come home from the bar. We get back to the Airbnb. drinking. This is Shane's lens. Mark Shane's lens. We come home from the bar. We get back to the Airbnb. I'm like, oh, fuck. What's the door code? I forget it.

And he's like, 208. And I was like, no, I know that's not it. And he's like, that's it. It worked yesterday. And I was like, I know what it is. That's not it. He's like, well, it worked yesterday. Okay.

And then I looked it up. It was like two seven something yeah so i type it in we walk in and he's like well that was it it worked and i was like just wouldn't let it drop well then i can't let it drop but i was like so that unless there's two codes your code was wrong and maybe the door was just unlocked yeah because that code's wrong and he's like no that worked and that's it that's it and then i'm not letting that go that's an energy code from some other place just like he and then i was like let's let's why don't you go outside i'll lock the door yeah see if your code works and if

he doesn't work you don't come in yeah yeah you sleep out there and that was it and then now of course i can't and so i was, just admit that's not the code. Yeah. Just say that that's not the code and I can let this go. Oh, my God. I'm actually getting upset. And he wouldn't say that that was the code. So we'd be sitting there watching TV.

15 minutes later in my head, I'd be like, don't say it. Don't do it. 15 minutes later, I'd be like, you can't admit you're wrong. Just say it wasn't the fucking code. Yeah, this argument isn't about that code it's from something else it's the perfect example yeah of like i have the number right here i've had x's like this it's like look just stop and if an x said something like that like the two it's 208 it worked yesterday i'm like i'm not doing this i'm not doing that i'm gonna go over

this way and just please don't say code don Don't say twos or zeros or eights. But I was the one. I was the one still saying it. Yes. But. In my mind, because we got out of the car. Fucking, I'm. You're going to find yourself on that hill.

I'm the last one. Nate and I are the last one out of the car. I'm ready for this side of the story. I'm carrying Nate up the front stairs. And Shane's like, what's the code and i said whatever 208 and uh he was like that's not it i was like well it worked earlier today and and he was like no it's a different code and i was like because gardini had said the code said a code that was wrong earlier in the day uh and that's the one that i had typed in and like as i'm typing it in he was like no actually it's this other one and i hit like the check mark and the door opened yeah so i was like

yeah i know but there is like it is but that one worked so that's what i was saying that's all and then and then i i don't know very passive retelling no i don't i was I was not mad about this at any point I wasn't mad as soon as you were like this is the code and I was like no it's not that should have been it

and instead it's like no that code works and it's like why don't you try it did you try it no of course not because you knew it would

I wasn't invested in that I wasn't invested in the site at all I wasn't I was just saying that it did work it's easier to not be invested when the whole point of the problem is like just admit that you're wrong

and then you're like no I don't care about this and that was the worst part that was such a psychological terror and then he kept going just let it go and I'm like you're the one it's on you to say I was wrong yeah dude it is like a girl

and he's like no just let it go you're being a psycho right now i'm like i am a fucking psycho that's gaslighting yeah right that is gaslighting perfect example of gaslighting that's gaslighting i was i at no point at no point was i trying to put this code on anyone i was just saying i know you asked for the code i i would never have said anything all right tell me about the mayor yeah so then yeah i'm not asked for the code. I would never have said anything. All right, tell me about the mayor. Yeah. So then. Yeah, I'm not going to let the code thing go. That'll be the rest of it. It'll be five and a half.

I know. I'll be loose. Five and a half hours. Miss my flight to England. The codes of every president. So the next night, we were out at, whatchamacallit, we were out at Zany's all night. And I had been talking to Gardini about, like, good movies that I liked. And we got home.

This was, like, 3 o'clock in the morning. We get home. I turn on, like, a Woody Allen movie. And Gardin and I are sitting there watching it enjoying ourselves LaMera's rolling a blunt

and he just goes I don't know about Gardein enjoying it he said he was that's that's hearsay well he said he didn't like it I don't know

and it's a lot to put on a young man be like yeah this 24 year old kid loved the fucking Woody Allen I didn't say it was a creepy Jew movie I didn't say he loved it he said he said he's enjoying okay

and then lamar also watches black and white movies at like 3 p.m it's a very that's a very odd this was it was i will say this it was dumb for me to put that movie on yeah there's no need to watch that there you. That's what you should do about the code. I admit the code didn't work. Say it right away. I admit the code didn't work. The code was wrong? Yeah, no, it didn't work. Oh, okay, great.

You can move on now. But it did work earlier in the day. I can be released. Do you think it worked because the door was already unlocked? It must have been. Obviously. I thought at the time

Where was this? Where was this? I don't know. That's all I wanted. This happened the night of. That's all I wanted. This happened the night of. That's all I wanted was you to be like, yeah, I guess it must have been a lie. I'll tell you what the formula is. Tony Beers, old arguments, a little emotional stuff.

When you brought it up for the fourth time, I was like, I don't know. I was just saying that it worked or it didn't. And I was like, I know. I know you just said that. That's what the point of the argument is. You just said it. Shane, that was a of the argument is. You just said it. All right, so what did LeMaire say?

Shane, that was a masterstroke. Did you see what Shane just did? He just brought up that Gardini probably didn't like the movie and all that parlayed into Chris admitting that the code was wrong.

You should be an attorney, my friend. Thanks, bro. Why did the code was wrong the night of? This is one thing I regret about you and the LeMaire fight

is that was the one night I didn't go out. I was like, I need to take a fucking day off and I would have given anything i tried to stay awake i was watching basketball all day and i tried to stay awake for when they came back drunk because i wanted to fight everybody yeah i wanted everyone to come back drunk just to walk around and be like look at you guys yes the next

morning i woke up i was like some guys just can't handle the road. They're like, just fucking with these dudes. And I missed it. I was, my room was. Your window was gone, yeah. I missed it. The guys on the second floor could hear it because it became a screaming match. All right. So what happened?

He says, turn the shit off in a way. He goes, yeah, he goes, this movie sucks. He's not even watching it. He's rolling. He's just bothering us. Yeah, some movies you can tell by the look. So he's like... Wait, you're telling me a black dude rolling

blunt didn't love Woody Allen? Whoa. Chris going, you don't know the plot. I was like, alright, well, whatever. And then he keeps going, this movie sucks. Woody Allen sucks. And we were like, alright, man. Alright. And then he keeps going this movie sucks woody allen sucks and we were like all right man all

right and then then he starts just saying stuff he started like every time there's a woman on screen he's like isn't she a little old for woody allen yeah he fucks kid he kept just like yeah he's like he's not even he just looks up to yell that. Yeah. And so I started. And you've been a staunch Woody Allen defender. Yeah, yes, yes. That is important. Yeah, yeah. Really?

It's an important key in this. In reality? Yeah. You defend his behaviors? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He looked into it.

Yeah. And I think he, I believe him. Yeah. You did. Watch. Let's get to that after the fight. Watch the HBO Woody Allen documentary and tell me it's not insane.

Okay. So, and Ronan Farrow and Mia Farrow are fucking lunatics. Yeah, of course. Hollywood. So, so then,

I'm saying shut the fuck up. Gardini also says shut the fuck up. Gardini's being like, dude, just let us watch this thing. I think he's just trying to get us both to shut the fuck up. But, being like dude just let us watch this thing i think he's just trying to get us both to shut the fuck up but yeah they were telling me to shut up when you and me were arguing too they were telling both of us to shut up yeah so then so then i'm like what the fuck is your problem dude what the fuck is going on just shut up and he keeps talking over it and

he starts getting mad at us because he calls us hypocrites because he was trying to support bill gates earlier in the night you gotta stop housing these people yeah i know this was a mistake guys are jumping off trains it's a bad group he was like he was like he was like it doesn't his argument was who cares if bill gates went to Epstein Island? He gave us Xbox. Yeah. Which is a bit of his.

He was literally running a fucking stand-up bit. No. Yeah. Yeah. He went and opened for me last week and did that. Unless that was the first time he said it. Maybe, yeah. And then he was doing it on stage.

I was like, oh, you were running bits in the green room? Oh, my God. Dory, I'm funny. Yeah. But even at the time, I agreed with him because I thought it was funny. It's a funny thing to say. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, yeah, I agree.

That's totally worth it. So then I start flipping out at him. I'm like, I'm not a hypocrite. I don't agree with you. And then it just turned into like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And then he was like, I was saying, I started saying crazy stuff. I heard you were saying some pretty nasty things. Yeah, well, he was like, I will beat your fucking ass,

and I was like, bullshit, I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. And even when I said it at the time. LaMera was so calm. Dude, even when I said it at the time. LaMera was looking big. LaMera is strong as shit. LaMera might have bulldogged you. I was definitely saying this, like certain that we would never come to

Russia wasn't gonna go into Ukraine Yeah And then yeah, then I was like, you're fucking nobody. Well, I heard, so this is the version Guard Dog told me. Yeah. You started hitting the fucking, you're fucking nobody. Yeah. Early.

And then LaMera was like, if you say that, we have to fight. And then it went into, I'll whoop your ass. I'll whoop your ass. I think we were at, I will beat your ass. Before you started pressing the nukes on fucking mean things to say to someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Because I needed, yeah. At that point, I, yeah.

You had to escalate. Yeah. Were you dragging some other shit from like earlier that night? Dude, we had the, no. No, this was, like, no. We had a nice time. You guys had the best time. Yeah, yeah.

Kings of the green room. I think you guys kind the best time yeah yeah Kings of the Green Room I think you guys kind of ended up you know what I mean I wasn't there they were the Kings of the Green Room at the National Comedy Festival I think you guys really ended up

embracing like what Shane was putting on you like in terms of being like the Shane like you know when someone says don't act up

and you just immediately start drinking whiskey, jumping off trains, getting in fights. Like that, because it's that impulse of like, don't fucking tell me. Like, no, don't tell me to do it. Like, don't tell me not, you know? Yeah, it bothers me.

They certainly acted up. It's also like you're taking, you know, you're bringing your friends, which is almost like you're catering to the party lifestyle without work. So you have work, and then you're taking're catering to the party lifestyle yeah without work so you have work and then you're taking a bunch of friends to go this is vacation yeah it's like well i was on a show that night i know no i'm not saying just you i was saying like you have an airbnb but you didn't know you were on that show until you were already out

partying yeah right yeah yeah okay well we met up with them in the middle of the day and they were like come do the show and i was like I might be too drunk to do that show because we were day drinking and then and then too late yeah

but I got there and I was like oh fine yeah yeah I was proud of you guys yeah you did all the right things that you were supposed to do

I didn't care at all and I was so happy to be like I mean I wasn't there if you were downstairs and they're at the comedy festival that i'm doing a show on yeah in the green room of other people's shows just getting wrecked and i

you know obviously i genuinely don't care but it was fun to be like how was that transient fucking uh kid rock oh that was that was great it was really fun to see as soon as you walked in the green and first off they all call him Bobby. Yeah. Like Bobby's here. Just so you know, Bobby's going to come in and say, what, what's up? And then kid rock walks in wearing like a fur coat and a fucking Christmas light cowboy hat. It says pimp on the back of his fur coat.

He's like, Hey, how are you? I'm Bob. He's like, Holy shit. This is crazy. Yeah.

It was awesome. Was it stitched in or was it spray painted? Pimp was stitched into his fur coat nice and then he was kind of killing dude he was doing stand-up a little on the intros and it was like really damn dude of course he's good at this nice he was just killing and then he would bring you out and uh the best part was it was at a theater and him him and his boys just had folding chairs right stage left they were just sitting there right behind the curtain right next to the stage. That's awesome.

So the crowd couldn't see them but anytime I told a joke you could see them like react. It was crazy. That's awesome. It was crazy.

Is that just your peripheral? Yeah. And then I bailed. That's the best part. Yeah. So I kept telling Soder and Jay I was like look. Is this during the storytelling show?

No, this is the day before. This is Kid Rock's just comedy show. Extravaganza or whatever. And I was like, if I do Trump, I'll kill. But that's cheating. I need to stick to this 15 that I wanted to do. Yeah. And I was like, if you see me do Trump, that's me being a pussy.

And so literally four minutes into my material, I looked over at them and I was like, all right, I did Trump. And the place was like, ah, dudes were going insane. Kid Rock came back out and handed me a beer.

It was like, keep going. The place was like, ah, I was like, dude, I'm such a bitch for that. No,

fuck that dude. Yeah. That's why you work on that moment. Yeah. It was crazy. It was crazy. Did he hang out afterwards or was he just like, dude, I'm such a bitch for that. No, fuck that, dude. Yeah. That's why you work on that moment. Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy. Did he hang out afterwards or was he just like... He was mobbed and it sucked because he asked me to come hang out. But I had to do...

I was like, I had to stay to do the comedy jam at his bar. Yeah. So like blacked out, I was singing Dragula. You sung the same song? Yeah, that's it it that's the only one and i don't know the words i get the first four in and they're like you should have brought him to that that place he was there he was there for it and then he left by the time i got up but they'd invited me to some i forget the name of it was a weird name

some party dude what i to have Kid Rock come out and be like please don't stop yeah it was cool it's gotta be one of the coolest things especially they're all Kid Rock fans also so like when he came out

it was like this guy's the best right they were all like yeah oh my god dude that was fucking crazy crowned by Bob dude

I guess that's his first name Bob yeah Bob Bobby Rock I think I get my Bob, dude. I guess that's his first name, Bob? Yeah, Bob. Bobby Rock. Oh, boy. Nashville was fun. Nashville was fun and you showed your ass. I did.

I felt bad. I think everyone was pretty fucked up. I think that saved me. Because I was like, I thought I discreetly asked for a hoodie. And then they brought out every box of every size. This is my favorite part. Chris is in the green room handing out Nashville Comedy Festival hoodies to everybody. No, I wasn't.

I was so happy to get to it. I did not hand out a single. I heard a lot of reports that you were handing them out. No. You were blacked out. I was going through the box that you were hanging them out. No. I was doing. You were blacked out. I was going through the box. You were blacked out. I was going through.

You were drinking whiskey. Whiskey at noon. Dude. Whiskey at noon. Him and whiskey. I got to be honest, dude. This is your trigger. Yeah.

Once the whiskey comes in, he's a different man. And this, bro, I've seen you hung over that Friday show. Oh my God. I've never seen. So Thursday was the whiskey. I wasn't't there king of the castle king of the green room o'connor lamar lamar was getting kicked out he kept going it was other people's shows he's just in the green room yeah talking up doing cartwheels he was he was talking up chrysler okay good? Good. No, well, yeah, he was talking to him. Oh, oh, oh. I thought he was in there

just like, Chrysler's the best. I was like, that's great. Chrysler was like, had a beer standing by the fridge. Lamar was like, excuse me.

To talk to him. Oh, God. And he was like, what's it like to put that shirt back on? Oh, God. So what were you saying? Him Friday?

Chris was dead. Yeah. But he was the only guy in the group that I would have host. Yeah. Beezer, maybe. But the other guys, like, I can't have LaMare host. Yeah. And then we did.

He did, all right. Because he's so bad at hosting. He's like, give it up for your guy, Tommy Pope! That's how he does it. He's wearing a fucking anime t-shirt. He's fucked up, dude. LaMare is fucked up. He went. He's wearing a fucking anime t-shirt. He's fucked up, dude. LeMaire's fucked up. He went to the mall

to buy an anime t-shirt. He went to the mall by himself, which, god damn, black guys love the mall. They do. They really do. bird watching in the mall. But Chris was,

Chris, I've never seen him hung over like that. Head, his face was dark red, his eyes were swollen shut. He was like, and I was like, I came to his bed his bedroom i was i was loving this i was this was i was so happy this

is like one o'clock in the afternoon i was still two at least three dude this was late this was late this was late i wouldn't have gone in there at one i was waiting till it was like obnoxious so i had 3 p.m i'm sitting on the other at 3 p.m., I'm sitting on the other. He was in twin beds. So I was sitting on the other bed just like, you had a big night, didn't you? He was hungover enough to be like, no. Like, just no, I'm not ready for this.

I got on stage and I was shaking. Oh, man. I went into the green room afterwards and I was like... Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. And he couldn't talk. I couldn't talk. You bombed.

I had to. He bombed on the early show. Yeah. Late show, you were good. Yeah, it was fun. Had a couple of drinks. So you didn't hit the sauce a little bit before the first show? I did.

Well, yeah, I started hitting the sauce. Yeah. Too late for the first show. And then I was fine for the second show, but then I slid right off the other edge and was just too hammered. I started riding the bull. Oh, yeah. That was a fun night.

He was riding the bull. That was fun, dude. Yeah, I was shit-faced. And then immediately I pulled the eject button. Yeah. I left the bull riding bar was fun, dude. Yeah, I was shit-faced. And then I immediately, I pulled the eject button. I left the bowl-riding bar at probably like midnight. I just went home alone. It was a rough one. Yeah, I was just like... That's a good move.

I remember having a conversation with someone where they were like, they were just talking to me normal, and I was like, what? And they were like, wait, what? And I was like, fuck it, no. And i like turned around and was like what why are you such a dickhead i don't know it's whiskey dude yeah this actually didn't used to happen that frequently but it's been very consistent and the whiskey just goes his

face turns like hardy like he's a different fucking character yeah dude he gets fucking hard off on everything he's nasty too yeah it's like a boxer who's taking too many knockouts dude you get a little later

in life all of a sudden his chin's doing a different way his chin's a little weaker you know the Iceman yeah dude after a certain point

he's never the same that chin goes you know yeah you start thinking like did he say it like that is he disrespecting me right now

right it's just some fucking manager yeah he did great tonight who the fuck are you Like, did he say it like that? Is he disrespecting me right now? Yeah, right. Just some fucking manager. Yeah. You did great tonight. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was that kind of conversation and I was like, all right, grab my fucking hoodie or whatever. Is there a person of importance that had a bad interaction with him? Like a manager? Oh, most definitely. Certainly. No.

There was nothing but industry in that green room when you were blacked out. Although I did ask all of them. Because I just... Dying to get some dirt? I wanted a bad report. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be honest. There wasn't...

Yeah. But these are the same people... They might be protecting him, though. These are the same people that like me a lot. So the whole time they're like, no, your friends were awesome. Right. It's like, dude, I know it was blacked out O'Connor and LeMare. They're not great.

Gardini was bopping around too. Guard Dog said he was quiet, which of course he was. He's the sweetest boy. He doesn't talk. In the green room, I was quiet. I was.

I think. There's no chance. You had your fucking shoes off. You were holding court. No, I was not. You were holding court. No, that was at one point. You had your shoes off. No. were holding court. No, I was not. You were holding court. No, that was at one point. You had your shoes off.

No, no. The green room's toes were out. No, hold on. At the Cowboy Casino? Fucking Pesci had to come out and beat you up? That's got to be a three-month layoff. No, that was during the Barstool Sports Show. There was a kid.

One of their producers tried to brag that a really prominent dj asked him for foot pics and then i was making fun of him for that and then another one of their producers came in and was like oh yeah i've i've sold foot pics and then we got into like a foot and i was like like we were like were like, I want to see this foot. Yeah. Show me this foot. Is it a nice foot? I didn't, they wouldn't take them off. And I was like, I'll show you my foot.

How much do you think? And yeah. But that was early on in the night. Later on the night. Yeah. I was, I was chatting up. Feet turning the dicks. What?

Yeah. Oh God. You're right. It was, it was a shameful. I definitely, when I was leaving nashville i was like that was bad yeah you told me as soon as you got home you're like i don't know i feel like i left a little too much out there on the field i couldn't yeah i was sometimes you can't tell whether you just drank too much and you're like you just you're so viciously

hungover that you're just feeling bad about yourself or whether you're like yeah dude I don't I for real for real I did ask

I was searching I wanted you to have fucked up and nobody reported a fuck up is there going to be a problem if we go yeah Zanies

we would like to come do your club no Lucy at Zany's loves Chris you guys are good we stayed good the one thing that was unfortunate is there was a lot of industry there and you were so hung over

that you fucked up that hurt but yeah who cares you seemed to care you did care that was whiskey boy you cared. That was before the bull riding. I'm not going to say the moment.

I'm not going to explain the moment. I think you told me the moment. Oh, yeah. There was a moment. Is this about taste? Yes. And I was sitting. I fucking.

I was in the green room sitting across from Chris when they said it to me. And I just watched him. Because I knew that if I were you, that would have. Fired you. I would have gone nuts. Yes, dude. So right when they said it. You told nuts yes dude so right when they said it scenario right when they said it i was like oh boy and he was i got up i got up like as soon as they left i was like don't worry about that don't worry about that you know what i mean yeah so don't act like i'm an asshole the second it's

something real i'm like yeah you're good. Don't worry about shit like that. When it's fucking door locks and Woody Allen, I'm like, you're a fucking dickhead. Well, you got to select when you're going to drink. I think if you saw the Lemaire thing, it was definitely Lemaire's fault. I know how he acts. Lemaire likes to just say a provocative thing, and his ideas are genuinely stupid. There's no other way around this. He has bad ideas.

So he'll just be like, here's what I was thinking. And he'll just say something to bother everybody. Yeah. It's the dumbest thing. He's like, Africa is going to be the most powerful continent by 2030. Oh, yeah. And you're just sitting there like. That was another big thing.

You have no concept of reality. You don't know what reality is. Yeah. Yeah. We looked at the whole continent's got like the GDP of New Jersey. That's going to be one hell of a come up, dude. Yeah. Well, he watches fucking comic books and wrestling.

So he's like, no, Wakanda's there. Yeah. It's like, no, it's not. It's not there. Yeah. That's just a direct relation to like who you're hanging out with like your circle of friends i imagine that's like nate's smart yeah nate nate his yeah they're smart yeah jabreeze i thought they're all smart yeah for the most part sean's smart yeah at least you're sagging your on trying to get some some ashes just saying stuff how'd you get that

hodgepodge group together I mean obviously they're all angled friends of yours yeah it's just you you throw a fucking net out there

like who wants to come yeah yeah it's dangerous like who's coming yeah but those guys all I knew would be pumped

and they're good they're good enough they're good at stand it was a fun group it wasn't good it was a great group there were guys that were excited to be there which is nice yeah you know i mean like i just took lamar on the road it's fun to watch a guy because when i go out i'm like you know yeah fucking another hotel room yeah another fucking day of travel he's excited he's new enough he's like fly on a plane that was fucking crazy hotel rooms i love hotel rooms which is where i was a year ago yeah like nice i'm on a plane i'd listen to rap look out the window be like we did it you said the shit

yesterday to me like your fuck i gotta go to england tomorrow i'm like shut the fuck up i'm not excited i gotta get on a plane tonight to fly to fucking Europe. That's great. Yeah. You're doing theaters in Europe dude. This is fucking everything you want. It is what I want and it is going to be awesome. I am excited about it.

You're going to be like this is cool. But it sucks to have to go city to city in a different country with luggage on trains. Yeah. That's going to be tough

and a fucking girlfriend. Yeah. Come on. It's like 20 minute rides there dude. She'll love it. Yeah. The trains. The trains are easy. Boom. It's like 20 minute rides there, dude. She'll love it. Yeah. The trains? The trains are easy. Boom, boom, boom.

I don't know. I've never been there. You're doing London and then the next one's Leeds? I'm going to Manchester tonight. And then to Leeds and then Glasgow. Westchester, dude. It's 20 minutes away. And then Dublin and then London. Oh, that's a good

that's fine it's gonna be great the worst is Glasgow to Dublin oh no you take a boat it's beautiful are you taking a boat I think we might fly I don't know

yeah I think you fly it's gonna be delightful dude see definitely fly fucking world travel over here Carmen Sandiego tells you to pick your hat up and stop having like a big head

it's gonna be a delight don't go out of Nightingale Glasgow and don't let your lady out in Nightingale Glasgow that place is crazy the let your lady out in Nightingale, Glasgow. That place is crazy. The pig rapists? The Scottish pig rapists?

They're going to rape my pig? No, nights out. My babe in the big city? They're going to get her? Wait, why do you say that? They get very stabby up there. It's the stab capital of Europe. Yeah, they like stabbing.

They don't have guns, so they stab. England stabs a lot. And they love, they don't have guns so they stab and they love they they drink this uh like uh energy alcohol drink and they're just scottish they're crazy it's all a bunch of irish people in the poorest industrial city in europe it's the only place in europe that's like pure like actual slums like like yeah i don't know i feel like europe's always condescending to america and I do feel like it's actually a bigger shithole. It can shut the

fuck up. Yeah, yeah. Europe can shut the fuck up. Like, yeah. This is going to affect your ticket sales when all our fans at Gladscout. Yeah, so did the Scots too because I'm scared of those guys. I know, I'm kidding, dude. They can return their tickets. I was making fun of me. Dude, we went to those soccer games.

Oh, were you going to soccer at the... I think I'm going to go back to Chelsea Man U. That fucking rules. Yeah. Yeah. You dreading that too? Kind of. We went.

I went already. And it was fine. The seats were so tight. I mean, I was telling someone that Shane and I had to sit like this. Yeah. That's because the stadium's like 100 years old and it's not ready for fat people. No, they built a new one. We went to Tottenham.

It was brand new. Oh, really? And it was still like... And we were low. We were like three rows from the field. Yeah, yeah. Is that because you're supposed to be standing most of the time anyway?

You're supposed to stand and sing the whole time. I don't know. But even if you were standing, you'd still have to like... There are so many people packed in there. Yeah, I think that's purposeful to sell tickets more space... Or less space, more ticket sales,

higher money, and you're going to be standing breathing all over some fat idiot anyway. That was right before COVID, and that dude next to us was wearing a mask, and I was like, dumbass. He's pulled dung out. A week later, it was like, nobody move. Do you have to test to come home like Soder?

I'm going to have to test to come home I don't have to test to go there because England rules England was the first one to be like who cares what's your last city? you better plan this correctly London that's alright that's great it's nice to round it off with a proper metropolitan area

Glasgow to London stuck in London would be nice but we're supposed to start filming Gillian Keys when I get back I know I wasn't going to

talk about that we can film it yeah I don't know when it's coming out we're supposed to start filming when we get back

yeah boy so that'll be good I'll be extra bloated for the just 10 days in fucking England come back

just fondue that's the best part about like looking back at old stuff you've done you can almost remember the night you got fucked up yeah you can see a trip in England come back just fondue. That's the best part about like looking back at old stuff you've done. You can almost remember the night you got fucked up.

Yeah. You can see a trip. Before the taping. Yeah. Like there's things John and I done and I'm like, I remember being in fucking, you know, the Irish pub till like four and going, yeah, we have to film in like three hours. Uncle's daycare. I was supposed to not be a fucking mentally handicapped man. Yeah, I know.

I was supposed to talk. Yeah. I was so hung. Yeah, I know. I was supposed to talk. Yeah. I was so hungover that I was like, I'll just be like a deaf. Let me just be a mute. We were all trying to figure out our costumes like day of and you were laying in the parking lot. He wasn't even under a car. He was just staring into the sun. And I was like, can somebody go check on him?

Because I'm not walking all the way over there i got boots on i'm sweating my dick off yeah it was a rough one it's either four it's either 35 degrees or 95 every time we film it's a nightmare isis toyota was freezing yeah you can see it at the end my face is like rosy yeah freezing yeah you can't tell them like the way you you know you're acting yeah every every everything we've ever done that was freezing it's like dude i remember the being so cold it takes so fucking long yeah well that's gonna be a tough couple days here right but coming back from that it's good yeah it is gonna be nice do you have a couple days in london before you come home yeah well then just relax and then a day off before we start

filming yeah get some Woody Allen videos I can't wait to watch Woody Allen stay in yeah watch some Woody Allen watch some old pervert that is another thing like in between shows

I'm gonna wanna stay in yeah I'm gonna wanna take it just lay down well she's gotta go and she's gonna be like let's go look at stuff and it's gonna be like

okay let's go to the page and I wanna talk about Woody Allen alright yeah I wanna dive into that yeah and you're gonna have a great time I know Like, okay. Let's go to the page. And I want to talk about Woody Allen. All right. Yeah. I want to dive into that. And you're going to have a great time.

I know.