Stuff Island - Stuff Island #37 - Just signed up today w/ Shane Torres

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

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But do you have like, you got to stand in attention issues when you booze a little hard? No, no, no, no, no, no. More like a... Mental. Yeah, more like a... Dismal. I don't want to be like, you know, fucking... I'd like to have a little like poetry to this evening.

I don't want to just get a fucking pull the Tommy poke and just sweat on top of him for 45 seconds. First of all, that is love cologne dripping from my forehead. Oh, gross. Dude, I wish I didn't fucking sweat like this, you know? This is the first heat wave we've had and I get a little nervous. That's why I wear things that are...

It's because you've got such a thick mop on top of you. It is. You do have like a good looking... You've got a winter hat on all the time. 100%. I wear a beanie. Long hair's a bitch when it's hot too. Yeah. Do you do the bun and all? No, no.

You can't. You can't. All Austin would be upset with you. All of Austin? Hey, are you from Austin? No, I'm from Fort Worth. All right. Well, fucking do the hour that way.

Hour that way. I feel like they'd like to. Take three hours away, you fucking goon. Nah, it's the same. I am the worst. What are you guys from? Pittsburgh? You just say Texas, and Texas is Texas.

This year, the first- I don't know if you guys know this, but it's a pretty big state. I know. I've seen pictures. Yeah. Yeah. I've been a couple times. I've never been to Fort Worth.

Yeah, it's fine. I like Dallas. Dallas is nice. Did you like Dallas? Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. You don't like it? I think-

Well, they're right next to one another, Dallas and Fort Worth. I think just Fort Worth is like, Dallas is like a big, just kind of like a big city, and I don't know what its tone is. Yeah. No, I like big cities, clearly. I live in one, but like. Just got no identity? Kind of, yeah. Like, you're like, what's the,

where's the fun, like, punk bars? Or, you know, like, where's the shit? And there's not a ton of that there. I feel like a lot of Dallasallas to me feels like like wall street like a lot of money yeah and like rich old money it's kind of showy young hookers yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i liked it i had low really low expectations where it's gonna be applebee's i went to like deep ellen which yeah deep ellen used to be awesome yeah yeah it's definitely a patagonia store there yeah yeah but it used to be like where we would go see like wild shit when we were kids yeah yeah and now it's kind of like everybody's got a loft above the

yeah above whatever club used to be there yeah yeah you guys really fucking that's like the third time that's the saddest place to turn into that i think because it used to be like it's like where free slaves ran to like be free where deep elm oh yeah yeah is that that's true i swear to god maybe you should have a plan for your project you want to be here now i swear to god yeah that's like the history of deep elm is that they like they set up their own city there and it was like their spot yeah that's cool i didn't know this place to be gentrified well then it was kind of gentrified when i got there too 20 years ago 25 years ago whatever fucking was when i was like

oh my god i can't wait to go see real big fish here yeah yeah sorry no dude i got nothing to piss and moan about deep elms all right now i guess i guess it's where i was headed no matter what i had fun there yeah anytime any any place that has a patagonia chris gets fucking wet dude you should hear him he's always like yeah i always want to be about you would really slay in some patagonia yeah yeah well like you got this fucking i'm from denver look to you yes yeah he was just there speaking about patagonia i did i got a patagonia jacket one time and i really liked it i have a yeah i have like a patagonia rain slicker oh that's what i got yeah it's got the white interior

they show you the technology chris gets off on all weather gear he made me buy are you a gearhead yeah yeah don't you say no well you're like a fucking lie to our friend like look i don't really give a shit about clothes but i like durable warm jackets yeah but like do you like waterproof jackets will you buy like pants with extra pockets on the legs and shit like that? Now, now, now, now. Cause I don't, I don't carry a lot with me, but I would, if I, if I like emotionally, you do need a carpenter jeans for that. If I start spending more time in fields and streams, I can, I can, I can bring some tackle.

I think it'd be a good look for you. I'd be good. Like me, one of these mountain ladies. Yeah, it'd be nice, but it'd be a good look for you. I'd be one of these mountain ladies. Yeah, it'd be nice, but it'd be fraudulent. The moment they'd ask me to start a fire, I'd be like, do you have lighter fluid? Yeah. I think you might be able to figure it out.

I need a newspaper and some lighter fluid. Where's that? Yeah, I got talked into buying fishing gear that I'll wear once every 10 years. Dude, that's a fucking great jacket. You should wear it more. Come fall, you're going to be wearing that a more. They are. They're wonderful. Come fall, you're gonna be wearing that a lot.

It's like top of the line fishing gear, but it's like fluorescent yellow. I can't just be bopping in some fucking- You requested fluorescent yellow? Yeah, for the boat. Actually- For when we fucking capsized and some ship can see me yelling.

Just because you're wearing a yellow coat, you'd be the first person they scoop up? True. You'd see the oil sleeping on my forehead i had like so you have a bright yellow i got a bright yellow top and i got some uh army green uh waders they're really nice quality yeah i'm just saying i'll never fucking use it and they're like 200 bucks a pop yeah they're super expensive like i went um i had a gig and i was up in uh steamboat springs, Colorado and they were like part of the gig was like they gave you free snowboarding shit and I was like

I'm not like buying like they gave you free snowboarding on the mountain I was like I'm not buying they were like we'll outfit you and we'll give you all like the stuff and I was like you just need to bring a jacket and I was like okay and then they just I was like done by the way it was not my sport did you do a run through?

yeah yeah I mean I tried yeah yeah the guy that was instructed because I did an By the way, it was not my sport. And- Did you do a run through? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I tried. Yeah, yeah. Like the guy that was instructed, cause I didn't instruction on the first day. The guy that was instructing me was like, you're built for this sport. I was like,

like cushion. Yeah. Yeah. And then they, I was like, yeah. He's pulling at a bowling alley the whole time. You know when you do yoga or something and you have muscles like you never use.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, I fucking could barely walk at the end of the day i had to do two sets that night and then i was like hey what who do i give all this shit back to you and they were just like you can just have it so i got like sweatpants boots and all this other shit and a helmet and almost they didn't give me a board because i borrowed that from a person but it was like six hundred dollars worth of shit they just fucking that's great you gotta scout that yeah and then i think i made like a thousand for the night so like you know all together i got some merch to sell you how much did you make a thousand and six hundred bucks in gear yeah yeah we used to fucking freshly worn ski pants we would ski in uh jeans growing up yeah my dad

would take us to pokémon you know the lift ticket was enough yeah it was garbage but dude that's he's not gonna buy his fucking ski clothes yeah that's like a christmas present or something yeah like you're not i get it but what's it like going skiing in jeans yeah like it's great for the first hour but like what socially what's it feel like when other people see but back then everyone was doing it yeah that's where my love that's an excuse for a lot of things no that was i feel like that's where my love of love good gear comes from because i remember freezing my fucking dick off trying to ski as a kid because there was like the best they would do is they'd be like these are like wool socks yeah wool is like yeah yes yes dude no they are not you will sweat

and that sweat will freeze every time on the chairlift it's a fucking nightmare and i remember my fingers being freezing and like everyone having a good time skiing be like i just want to i gotta get out of here i'm dying i get do you guys ever buy shit because you're like i'm gonna get into this and of course he's got a fucking electric guitar sitting right here he got quarantined you did yeah yeah well i played it i played when i was a kid and then i stopped picking it back up yeah yeah yeah but it's hard how's it going now it in. Yeah. But it's hard. How has it gone now? Well, it's tough.

It's tough. How long has it been there? It's tough to learn. How long has it been exactly like that? A year and a half. Yeah, yeah.

It's been there a while. March 2020. I will say, he's very good. It was pretty impressive. Yeah. He was actually playing songs like just picking up raw

and going right back to the rhythm and I was like, holy shit, you can actually play. It's really interesting when you meet, you find out something like that about your friend yeah like dude oh my god i've always quietly wanted to learn piano so that like in like 10 years no one knows but like when you see the hotel piano and you get like liquored up at a wedding yeah you just you pull it that's my dream fucking if i can do a cartwheel or whatever I know yeah just something wild like that

Sam Evans do you guys know him yeah yeah he's like a brilliant piano player really really good yeah yeah yeah

holy shit yeah yeah yeah that's an unassuming piano player yeah yeah did he play a bunch as a kid yeah I think so

and then I think he like he played a lot he took a lot of lessons and I think like when he was in high school he was in bands and stuff. And then he was just like, and now he just like noodles around.

He's like back into it. It's pretty, yeah. See, that's music is something I wish my parents pushed more than sports. The odds of doing anything with sports are very low, but I do like the lessons learned. I wish I was just more rounded with it. Yeah. Like, cause like I love sports.

Me too. But I was never going to be that good at it. You know? It depends on the position. You become more well-rounded with like, you know, camar, because, like, I love sports. Me too. But I was never going to be that good at it, you know? It depends on the position. You become more well-rounded with, like, you know, camaraderie, leadership, all that kind of shit. Yeah, I want my kids to play instruments too. But it's like, do you know, like... Everything is expensive.

It's not even that. It's like, I better have a big fucking house. Yeah. Because I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear someone struggle through trumpet for fucking 10 years. It's better than running lines in New York for a shitty audition. No, it isn't. Because that happens outside of my house.

You know what I mean? It's got to be. I don't want to watch someone learn an instrument. Dude, playing football? Or smelly gym clothes and sneakers all the time. You're going to make a sacrifice one way or the other yeah smells can be contained like a hockey bag i have noise canceling headphones you're like if you want your kid to be good at a trumpet put the headphones on they will fucking drill that

thing into the ground also there's a chance to like enjoy it later in life like there's only so many hours on the beach you can throw a football in the trash can because you played for 15 years and you got no one around you. I'm not saying- I'm going to pull out a fucking ax and just bang out. If you don't think- A piano can still get you laid. It's what I said.

100%. Yes. Football. It's tough. You got to- You got to see my arm. It's got to be carnival season. You got to see the-

You got to win a bear. You gotta see my art. It's gotta be carnival season. You're gonna win a bear. I would plug a Casio into the Port Authority if I could just fucking hit the Ivories a little bit. There's a guy who's probably gonna buy you one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I agree with you. I agree with you. I don't disagree that the arts are better than sports long term. I'm just saying. In the house. There's a lot. I think there's a value. I don't think you appreciate

how painful it is. We had a fucking, we had a roommate I forget his name years ago that would shut his door, lived in your room and would play for hours when he got home from shows. Just hours. Play what? Guitar? Guitar. Acoustic. Loud as fuck but like in your room and would play for hours when he got home from shows just hours yeah play what guitar

guitar acoustic loud as fuck but like you you know you know what you need is like 10 15 space feet of space yeah was he good yeah yeah he was good yeah not that good but like but good enough to where like this isn't a chore like good enough that he was trying to work on it yeah yeah but like you could like turn on the tv and drown it out oh yeah there would be a problem yeah yeah it would be a big fucking problem yeah like i need a here's what i think i think do you remember there was a for like one season of monday night football they would do this thing where like football players would do like a segment with musicians no it was like a very like it's something like you would see all the time now on youtube like it's oh my god fucking yeah tyree kill is an amazing sax player you know like but it was like they did it i remember joey

harrington the go you remember him yeah yeah yeah stealers yeah well he got drafted by the lions yeah he got drafted by the lions played at oregon can he play on the seahawks for a while yeah uh maybe i think he might have yeah but he he there was a a video of him playing piano with blues traveler and it was from that and he was like pretty good you know and they kind of interviewed him as my mom was like she made me practice piano for an hour before i could go play football yeah yeah so those kind of things and then i remember i saw him uh in a coffee shop i worked at in Portland years later, and no one knew who he was.

No one recognized him. And then I was like, it doesn't matter what. Yeah, that's when he got to jump back on that piano. Yeah, yeah. And then my buddy, Ian Carmel, was like, I bet if you run at him, he'll throw a pick. That is, I mean, this is corny as fuck, but it is one of the beautiful things in New York. Like, you pass one of those, like, artists, whether,

I saw, like, he was kind of like an r&b celloist yeah and he was playing a like a slow beat in the background and then singing as well and it was dude it was unbelievable yeah like literally stopping he had his instagram handle there i looked his instagram handle he had like 1.6 million followers he was a famous guy. Just working on his album to sell it. But no one gave, everybody's just walking by. You know those videos where people are like, you don't realize. And then all of a sudden it's Lady Gaga.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Her horse face is out there bellowing through a fucking. You don't like it? I know. I saw her documentary and it really turned me off. Who would have thought you wouldn't love it? No.

I like her music. You got a guy in track shorts and a button down shirt. I ended up from the football. Drinking beers at fucking, oh, it's five o'clock somewhere. Yes, you got the idea. It's Gaga. It's a talking story, pal. Yeah, don't know why I didn't land on you.

I like her music. I just say, you know, you don't want to see the documentary in this. You don't want to know too much about the artist. I get that. There's some like, there's very few ones I like, I go deeper into it. And I'm like her music. I just say, you know, you don't want to see the documentary in this. You don't want to know too much about the artist. I get that. There's some, like, there's very few ones I, like, I go deeper into and I'm like. Yeah. Without, don't think they're a tool. Yeah.

Yeah. But there's others where you're like, holy shit, that guy rules. Yeah. I was like, oh, you, like, want to be an artist and you want to be a famous person. Yes. There's a lot of that, like. Yeah. Yeah.

And she's whining the whole time and she's, like, treating her staff like shit. Oh, she, yeah. And she's just a terrible light. Yeah. I got to see this doc. Oh, dude, it's brutal. She doesn't even try to put a good face on and no no no no no literally figured it out i think that's the thing of like some people figure out they live if they live kind of like honestly on the cameras you know that they don't have to like the fallout

on them later is not as bad yeah yeah true yeah she's such a talent it's like you know the the juxtaposition typically is the the better the talent the shittier the person it's they're coddled their entire life same thing with athletes you know they're they're they're picked up at eight years old to be a special star yeah they don't they don't they don't create like a social ability around that athletic ability. They just become this fucking, very few of them are grounded. Well,

maybe not a few of them, but like, I think there is a little bit of this, like you got to hope you're like just famous enough. Right. Right. The sweet spot. Yeah.

Like make money, like make real money. And then, but also not be like, yeah, I don't know. Like, who's like,

who's a, like James Harden seems kind of like, yeah, like a guy who's like, I don't know. Like who's like, who's a, like James Harden seems kind of like, yeah. Like a guy who's like, I don't know what's going on with you, man. Like, are you a good guy?

Are you a weirdo? Like, yeah. Yeah. Like you're a hard person. And maybe he's just like, maybe he's just 32 years old or whatever it is. And it's finally getting a dose of like,

yeah. His jello brain. Yeah. Or yeah. Yeah. I was, I was, he's not a boxer pretty fucked up i don't know maybe he's like a guy like they finally like people are like

now that he's aging out of like the prime of his career people are like not telling him everything he needs to hear all the time yeah it's also got to be like on some level because he's never like he's never won a championship right he's never like never climbed the mountain. Yeah, it's coming, baby. But there's also that thing where you're like, is he getting traded out of Philadelphia? Shut up, Shane. What are you guys going to say? We got some opportunities. You got some nice players. We got PJ Tuck. We got some nice pickups. Our defense

is sweet. I think we're going to make a run. We're a top 10 team. Anything can happen in the playoffs. Anything can happen in the playoffs. The thing about Harden is- Top 10? I bet if you talk to him- Well, you know what I mean.

It's better than fucking where we were eight years ago. You guys have like blown it so much. Yeah. You guys should have won it like three years ago. No. No. Who was it? Butler?

You talking about the Kawhi Leonard drop in at the game seven? Yeah. That's what you're doing right now, Shane, aren't you? Yeah. What are you doing? I'm talking about- Let's talk about pianos before i break a fucking door over my head i was trying to make this talk about james hardy pianos you're breaking my heart i'm not breaking your heart kawaii letter broke your heart true yeah yeah this is your fault but yeah you're not gonna win it

no i'm just saying it's gonna win it look as long as it's entertaining as long as the Phillies suck the Flyers are dog shit as long as we're competitive see this is he's got to dump it on me I didn't say anything oh I pointed to you because you're the Flyers guy

in this house yeah yeah yeah but you want to hurt my feelings you're hurt so you're spreading it around I'm sorry I know the Flyers suck yeah

but you guys like you guys are Eagles fans before anything else oh 100% yeah I'm Flyers before Eagles but I do like the Eagles. Eagles, Sixers, Phillies, depending on how they're doing.

Yeah. Seems like a real fan. Flyers. You guys are the fucking worst. About that thing about James Harden. You know why you're not winning it? And I'll tell you why for real. Adam Sandler made that movie.

And like, whenever they make a movie about a sports team, they never win. Buddy, that movie's pretty decent. I like the movie. Yeah. No, but I'm just telling you. The Indians didn't win shit for a long time after major league yeah uh the cubs were the cubs rookie of the year yeah yeah yeah angels in the outfield fucks i mean the best case scenario for the dallas cowboys is the plane to go down just so you have a you hope of a new season

we it would it crashes into Philadelphia, you'll be like, oh, we'll finally get a 9-11, dude. You guys will find it. I'm so tired of living in the shadow of 9-11 in New York.

Yeah, it's so bad. I want a tragedy. Boston's got a bombing. I want something bad to happen to our city. That's not real. Yeah,

no, it happens every fall for 16 weeks. No, this is our year, this is our year, too. The Eagles are going to be great, too. Yeah, no, it happens every fall for 16 weeks. No, this is our year two. The Eagles are going to be great, too. Yeah, your defense looks good. Defense is sick. Yeah, yeah.

Too bad they'll lose two games. You're going to say Hurts sucks? What? No, I think he'll be better than people think he is. Yeah, I feel like we fleshed this out on July 4th, and I thought we were going to be over this, but I knew somehow it was going to come back up. I mean, you fucking brought up the Sixers.

I definitely did. And I keep trying to going to be over this, but I knew somehow it was going to come back up. I mean, you fucking brought up the Sixers. I definitely did. And I keep trying to change the subject. Yeah, go ahead. Good, Patagonia. I'm saying if you talk to Harden, right? What? If you talk to James Harden, and you were like, because everyone gets mad at him, he doesn't play very hard.

And he was like, dude, what would you do in my situation if you were as good as I am and just wanted to take it easy? Wouldn't you be like, that rules. situation if you were as good as i am and just wanted to take it easy wouldn't that you'd be like that rules just like really good in the nba but don't really give a fuck it's it'd be amazing you can't i think you would have the exact same any kind of pro james harden argument he would make for himself you would have the exact same argument if you were in that position yeah you know like there's no like you just be like yeah like, yeah, what, you're going to tell me I've made $500 million. What have you done?

Yeah. Just like, wouldn't you, wouldn't that be- And I think you guys, Sixers are actually going to be kind of good. I think it'd be, A, they actually sign the people and get it done. Yeah. I don't know. Also, guys that talented are so good they could just turn it back on one game and then they're right back in it. Yeah. That's the problem.

You need a fucking Jimmyimmy butler you need a pj tucker you need these guys that are going to go hard no matter what and they'll fight your whole family kind of like the tough guys dog they got the dog in them yeah i think the season's just too long that's kind of true season's way too long i you can't expect if i didn't have 82 basketball games i don't know what i would do i i love it so much yeah i mean well i love that it's always on you know like i love that like i don't want to watch the fucking office all the time you know like that's what other people do like i like yeah i just like throw basketball and who cares if it's if memphis is playing i want to see jaw jump through the goddamn ceiling

that shit's fun to me and i don't have to be that invested in yeah yeah are you dallas myers yeah yeah yeah yeah how you like that sociopathic fucking owner i hate that motherfucker That shit's fun to me and I don't have to be that invested in it. Yeah. Are you Dallas Mavericks? Yeah. Yeah. How do you like that sociopathic fucking owner? I hate that motherfucker. Who owns the Nets? Mavericks. The Mavericks?

No, but who owns, I mean, the- Sixers? Yeah. Some fucking faceless man. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Cuban's like- I don't think he's like that good an owner.

I think he's not bad, but I don't think, I think he's like, what are there? 30 teams, 29 teams. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. I think he's maybe, I think he's in the top half, but like, yeah, I don't think he's like a top five owner. Like, cause he just, what's he got?

Yeah. Like, you know, like he's very loyal to people. We got one. Yeah. Yeah. But I think, I think he's very loyal. I think he's like good at being loyal to people, but I don't think he's like making like the smartest.

It was like, we never land any free agents. And I know that's not necessarily his job, but we never get, who's the fucking best free agent we've signed. Truly. Fucking Chandler Parsons. Are you shitting me?

I don't know. You guys are fucked for a while. Yeah. Cause we need, I don't want us to be like the Blazers were four years ago when Dame got them to the Western Finals. They won the Summer League. Did you know they get fucking rings for the Summer League?

Yeah. I never knew that. Yeah. Also, they're like making shirts and shit. Yeah. They get legit rings, dude. They're like banger rings. They're nice.

I don't know. Well, they should. They're not fucking knuckles. I got to call this and they're like, that rings they're nice I don't know well they shouldn't they're not fucking knockoffs that's a summer league isn't a summer league for people who are on the bubble

to like prove themselves yeah it's for like rookies and motivation new people yeah there's a lot of that yeah all the new signings

it's a summer rec league for the new pros yeah I mean it's like they're getting like seeing what they're playing against instead of other college kids that are like never gonna play basketball yeah yeah because like what's that chet what's his name the kid everybody's a seven foot white kid that oh yeah yeah yeah

he's doing well dude yeah he put up like a triple double a second yeah he's real skinny remember when durant came in and he couldn't bench 200 pounds three times or something like that. People were like, he's going to get thrown around. I was like, that's not this game. It's not the 90s, dude. You don't need to bench anything. It's just a praying man shooting from 60 feet. You just need to have shoulders.

You just need to have shoulder endurance. I don't know what you need to have. I don't know anything about basketball. I kind of hate basketball. Yeah, sorry about that. No, it's of hate basketball. Yeah, sorry about that. No, it's a bad game. It's a flawed game. How's that? It's just you can't play defense.

You can play defense. What do you mean? You can't really. You should be able to fucking apply equal pressure on defense. I hate watching some dude get like shouldered into this. Oh, I don't love that. He's got to fucking stand there. It's like, what the fuck are we doing?

And then some guy, some guy goes up for a layup and gets tapped and they call a foul. It's like, all right, dude, this is the NBA playoffs. That call mattered. Someone's like fouling out of the game. I mean, it's like, it's like watching figure skating. It's fucking exhausting. The amount of power refs have over that game is insane. Yeah.

It's, it's, It makes it unwatchable. Dude, my high school- I like watching basketball when I don't give a fuck about either team because then I like the music of the game. I like the poetry and motion. The jazz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the moment I start caring about a team, I'm spazzed. I kind of like the mystery of the game, the magic of the game. My high school basketball coach for senior year was, he was in that ring of gambling. Yeah. What? The Donahue ring.

Your basketball coach? NBA, yeah. My varsity basketball coach in high school was part of the ring where the NBA refs were taking points and shaving. He was an NBA ref too? No, no, no. He was best friends with Brent Money. There was like three main

dudes that got fucking totally caked over it. He got like 30 years dude. I don't think he did. I think he did like 10 years. He did like 5 or 10 years. He got 20 years probation or something. He was totally caked. Also, so he was taking kids five to ten years. He got 20 years probation or something. You're a totally kid.

Also, so he's taking kids up to his office. You're a giant ass. Here's the thing. I think if you're- Trying to dismount. I think if you're betting on basketball and you find a way to cheat, it shouldn't matter. Yeah. Nobody gives a fuck.

Yeah. I don't think like it's- Gambling is not legal in most places still. And also, it's like, just shut the fuck up. You're a degenerate. Yeah. Yeah, like, every game is fixed. It's also like, oh, and a ref made a bunch

of intentionally bad calls that ruin a game. Surprise, surprise. That's fucking happening in every game. Yeah, but it's nice. Whether they need to or not. Yeah, it's costing a lot of people lives what? no it didn't

people are killing themselves they're killing themselves over lost bets yeah alright well that's it's not the bet that's the problem it's the addiction fucking degenerates is what it is you can go to better help

hey I signed up for it is. You know? You could go to BetterHelp. Yes. You could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I signed up for it today. Are you kidding? Yeah. No, I'm not. Dude, this episode's brought to you by BetterHelp. You literally signed up for BetterHelp today. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

Yeah, dude. Also, I'm going to be at Cap City this weekend. 20 seconds, 20 minutes. So I'm getting tickets to that. Chris, shut up. Are you running a request? Yes. So,

BetterHelp is your sponsor? BetterHelp. No joke. I meant to do a fucking session. You go to betterhelp.com forward slash stuff island, you get 10% off your first month. Let's get that out right now.

Oh, that's your... But let's talk about this because I have yet to... Have you done a session? Yes, sir. No, no i haven't but my buddy who was like hey man i'm really worried about you you need to be in therapy like yeah because like how i get sometimes and i was like yeah you mean all of us yeah yes yeah yeah yeah and then he goes uh and i was like i signed up and i was like i just lied to him I was like, I signed up. I just lied to him and he's like,

how's it going? I was like, it's going pretty good. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm just kidding. And today I actually signed up. I swear to God. Nice.

Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. I've been telling my mom, I've been talking to somebody for like three years. I've yet to try it,

but I'm going to use this because I get a free trial run with the, with your ad. With this ad. Yeah. This is the fucking most knockoff way for you to get fucking professional.

What do you mean? It's fucking perfect. Like, talk about you on my show a little bit. Maybe you shave off a few slits. It's just like an NBA ref shaving a couple points. You just do this in the back of an alley next to a bread truck. Well, look, anyone can get that free month, right? Betterhelp.com.

Yes. 10% off. Yeah, 10% off. You don't get a free month let's pump the brakes you gotta fail in 12 years of comedy you get a full free you get 10 off if you do that over 10 months that's one free month well i didn't know this have you done this yet have you logged in like how you i filled out all the stuff i'm waiting to hear back literally like i said it takes 48 hours you log in all your your shit. Yeah. They come back to you with a certified professional.

Yeah, and they're like, this is your guy. What do you want help with? And I'm like, I'm just like, ting, ting, ting. The only thing I know I'm not is I'm not gay.

But everybody, everything else, like I have checked everything. That's why you're there too. It's there as an option. But I was just like, there were like 12 things to check and I was just like,

well, I'm not gay. And then everything else was like, do you have self-esteem issues? Are you worried about your career? Do you have rage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just like,

bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. I was like, oh my God. They might get back to me by the end of this podcast. That's good, dude. Yeah. It's also affordable as shit, which I really,

like as a starting place, it's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. It gives you foundation to like what to expect from therapy. Yeah. And it's also affordable as shit which i wrote like as a starting place it's not bad yeah yeah yeah it gives you foundation to like what to expect from therapy yeah and it's like i was in for years for like two years i was in a lot and a good chunk of it and then i just uh i fell out of it i wasn't like yeah i was like yeah i guess i think maybe i got some help but i don't think it's i don't i didn't progress enough in two years for like did you not progress enough because you just didn't you didn't put your i tried i you know like i just think we weren't a good fit and then like i have a really hard time like breaking things off with people even in professional relationships yeah so yeah

um so you just she doesn't even know if i'm dead or alive like i stopped seeing her like one month into the pandemic so oh so she has trouble breaking yeah she has trouble sticking with well i think she was like how are you feeling one time she asked me how you feel i was like great like you know like you know they should be able to pick up on social right yeah you should i liked her like she was a nice person i just don't think i got as much out of it as i was hoping yeah yeah you should play in a flag football league with a bunch of therapists to just get their you like she was a nice person I just don't think I got as much out of it as I was hoping yeah yeah it's tough you should play in a flag football league

with a bunch of therapists to just get their you know just to get the feel just to beat the shit out of them no just so they know exactly you gotta go out to

like a bar you gotta like oh Tommy needs a therapist yeah if he when Tommy signs up for better help

he's just gonna he's gonna send a video of him throwing a ball. This is a good place to start. This is something really important. How are you feeling? Good. I made two out of 50.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying like that is a very personal relationship that you're starting. How long does it take in your past before that? Yeah, it took a while i mean we got we had like what i would call one real breakthrough break moment where i was like okay and even then i was still like i don't know like i didn't it didn't i recognized what she was saying and it made sense but it and it kind of helped but i also was like I don't think I did it. You know, like, you know, like I'm still full of the doubt of even though even though she like showed me that I did do it like by my by repeating my actions to me and be like,

this is what you did. Right. And I was like, yeah. And then you did this. And then this didn't happen. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, then you did it. Like you like you have to keep doing it.

Right. So like, you know. So why are you trying to better help? I want to like I'm like, I'm fucking wound up. So, like, I need to, like, I need to figure out what it is I, you know, like, I don't know if I want to, like, commit to seeing a fucking psychotherapist again or whatever. But, like, let's start here and make it easy.

Also, like, therapy's a chore, you know? Like, it's, like, a fucking, a chore you know like it's like a fucking before everything like i'm looking forward to it being remote like you know like i don't want to fucking uh go there no yeah like it's like it takes you know if it takes 30 minutes to get to a place and then you do it for an hour basically and then another two hours of my day that's one twelfth of my day is already gone and then if i I work out or something, that's like another, you know what I mean? It's like a home gym. Dude, 100%.

It's a lot. It takes a lot out of you. Like, you know, like when I move apartments, which is not that often, like I always look to see if there's something close for like a gym and like how easy shit is. Because it's fucking, here it's exhausting. If you live in the suburbs, it's, you know, like different. Also, of all things that they should have accessible to like zoom so that you don't have to get your just get pissed off on your way there like just getting

i'm already ornery you know i mean i'm already fucking worked up yeah i already have things i'm nervous and my anxieties through the fucking roof then i gotta go to talk to don about my mom's bullshit ways right well and then i drop my keys trying to get in my car and then I get stuck in traffic. So then by the time I get to Don, I want to rip his fucking head off. I know, but I feel like that's a good energy to be in when you get there.

You think so? No. I worry about the opposite. I'm like pissed off and then I get like a good coffee or something. Yeah. A nice sandwich on the way. That's why you're masturbating in the bathroom

before you get in there. I'm just like pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would do a coffee or whatever. And some days, I'm like, I would go up there because she was at like Columbus Circle,

you know, and I would go up there and I'd be like, I don't think I need this today. You know, and then you're like, but then you're like, I should still commit to it

because like, that's how it works. You know, like even if you don't feel like you needed that. It's part of the whole process. Yeah, yeah. That's what I tell you. Yeah. get a few extra bucks out of you yeah

hey fill my gas tank till it's pouring out of it you know like fucking horseshit how many sessions do you have i mean i went i'm going month to month with better help but with her i was like i mean i was with her every week for two years like we were really wow yeah you know like i started seeing her like right after my mom died. I went for probably a few months into the pandemic so for two. When did you know that it wasn't right? The fit?

Probably when I heard that... Maybe when I heard about Better Hope. This podcast... This is why you're not learning, Shane no you're avoided um shut the fuck i don't like how real that was every once in a while you get a singer i um i felt like for a while i was like stagnant but it was like uh you know like grief is weird so you can't like it gets in the way of things it takes like a year to even get right if you're lucky you know and then more there's a ton of shit you know like

and it's like it also depends on how much shit you have like going on like they can't fix everything and you won't ever fix everything you know like will you come in with an actionable list of like these are all my problems i want to fix this this this is you this, this, you know, like all these, like they're not all ever going to get fixed. Like nothing's always going to be good. You know, like nothing. Yeah. There's like, you'll have good days, but there's no like 100% harmony.

You know, like even if you have like the best day of your life, you're still going to be like, I got to get a fucking filling next week or whatever. You know what I'm saying? That's how I am with like, I'm nervous about meeting a doctor, like therapist yeah because like even if i if i meet a doctor that's going to work on my shoulder or something i get i usually get recommendations from people i know and they're like this guy's great my i got a greek doctor on the corner i'll go to if i live in fucking serbia i'll fly yeah he's a greek obviously story but he's wonderful he told me he told me i gotta chill the fuck out like he like used language like that i'm like he's wonderful. He told me, he told me I got to chill the fuck out. Like he like used language like that.

I'm like, he's one of me. He's always like a real guy. He's a regular guy. Who just happens to have a medical degree from. Yeah. But he was. The guy out of Plock.

This is after I asked him like 30 questions outside of the timeline. It was like, calm down, dude. I was, I know it's been 20 years. Yeah. Like,

I'd be like, how much you guys make at this? Yeah. He must be pretty well. What is this? How much is this? Yeah, no, nothing to do with my health it's a little stiff it's like yeah yeah no no no no it's like storefront property on this block yeah no but like that's how i would get with like therapy like i'd be like i would judge i know people like when i meet them the very first time i'm like nope yeah fucking no way could we ever be friends let alone sit on a couch and

talk about all my dog shit so i would you're not supposed to be friends and that's like i need intimacy with like true like didn't the exact opposite happen with you and me but yeah pretty much yeah well we're each other's therapist but i, yeah, I do like the therapist that's like a dick to you and is like, doesn't believe a lot of what you're saying. Yeah. I feel like that's important. That's good. Well, yeah, they need to, like a real one's good, but like. Yeah.

I like, my best conversations are with people I trust and like, you know, like. Yeah. You know, like when you can get it, like, I mean, I can be more vulnerable to people that I'm like. Yeah. No, or no as a person, like. Maybe can get it, like, I mean, I can be more vulnerable to people that I'm like, yeah, no, or no as a person. Like, maybe that was a problem with her. She was very like professional, but like, well, the one like very like she always sat like that, you know, like she always had the kind of like, I'm a doctor kind of thing, which is what you want. Like you want somebody to be smart, but like I wanted like I need her to be loose.

You know, that's kind of what I meant. I don't mean like i don't want them to be like just like me or friends but i need them to be like casual enough to be like yeah like you got a good vibe you get a good energy you know sometimes you just need to say fuck it and do it and if it doesn't go okay it's fine the one hour a week though puts a strain on that type of relationship yeah because i don't know if you've ever done this where you're like you catch up with a friend that you haven't seen in a bunch of years and you're only spending like an hour with them because they they they're only in town for a little bit and then they got to get a flight back to fucking denmark or whatever did that this weekend with the girl that got away

yeah yeah yeah but then inside that hour you're like you're just you're trying to explain to eight years of your life like you just you just vomit forth a bunch of crap and they're saying shit. Watch your son's name again. Let's get another one. Have a great, safe flight. I love you, man. Remember that time we went to fucking the two. And you can't just have a relaxed conversation.

You gotta like, you're trying to like pump and they're trying to pump stuff in there too. And it's just, it's chaos. And then you leave it being like, I don't even know how much of that was accurate right i just said she's usually saying like this because she's got a good encapsulation the last 10 years of my life bill thinks i'm married to a chinese lady did you ever find yourself like totally like lying to get away from not lying but like stretching i there are things i did wouldn't get to with her like i wouldn't say that like was that the lack of trust or because you weren't ready for it well i'm not ready you know like yeah like i mean i was like i would i think like medically

like in a professional that she was probably like more than capable of handling it you know like she didn't give me bad advice like there's no like i couldn't point to anything she didn't do well or something like you know what i mean like yeah uh just like it wasn't progressing at the right like because sometimes you know like maybe i fucking don't want to fix this problem i just want to not have to deal with it like does that make sense like yes like you're like i just like how do i put it away in a dark fucking room yes and i'll get to it later or like and you're allowed you're allowed to ask about this thing in six months doctor yeah like guys it's right and right now all it's doing is stressing me the fuck out and putting my blood pressure through the roof in that kind like so

there were things like that i wouldn't be into anymore like i just couldn't do because it was like it was just too tough or whatever yeah mean, what did you ask her about that? Was she offering like any skills to like, because I feel like if I, if yeah, if this is not what I thought this podcast was going to be. This is great. I thought it was like,

sorry. The best part about this, we hit go and then we don't know where the fuck we're going to go. I thought this was going to be like Eagles talk. We got to believe. They're like, this session's called birds and beer. Chris and I, we actually had a pregame talk.

I was like, how the fuck am I going to bring up something I want to talk about with the BetterHelp? And you're like, I signed up for BetterHelp yesterday. Like, it was so set up. This doesn't seem real. So this is an organic conversation because you said you signed up for it. Yeah. And I'm very intrigued. You know, restating, it's going to really make them rethink whether or not.

Especially the way you laid it out. It's like, this is not fake. They look at my hand, there's writing on it. Now, I spoke to Chris before the show. I said, how are we going to bring up betterhelp.com? Yeah, fuck me. And here it is. Well, I actually am genuinely- You just signed up today.

Genuinely interested. Well, they're getting their fucking money's worth on this. This is wild. They are. This is wild. The whole time're getting their fucking money's worth on this. This is wild. The whole time we were going to say they're fake doctors. Look, my pod, we got an offer for maybe doing an ad with BetterHelp. What are you guys doing?

Because I don't know what we're getting. I don't know what you're getting. We'll talk about it. Your ability to negotiate is going to go way down. They're like, we already got the ad. You were in it. So you, are you going to like, when they get back to you in like the next day or so,

are you going to give this person a certain amount of time regardless? Yeah, I am. Because I want to like, look, man, I, I'm like, I'm hurting mentally. Like'm not yeah getting things done the way i need to get them done even though i'm working all the time and i'm you know like i need to like organize myself and figure out how to be like yeah an actionable person and there's things that are getting in the way of it and sometimes like i see myself upset about something that is not my fault and then like punching the big upset button to make it worse yeah like god yes yeah you know and i'm like i

don't want to i don't want to be the guy who's screaming in traffic trying to make a left turn when he could go down one block in a less busy street and like make a left turn you know like i want i want to not be that person anymore yeah the preoccupying rage about things you can't control yeah yeah releasing the the pressure out of like the bottle yeah you know like letting it kind of hiss out and then being like okay you can be fine now yeah sometimes i want to scream and hit a fucking punching bag you know like which i also think is fine in the right place yeah. But it's hard to do because it's like, how do I fix a thing unless I think about it all of the time? Yeah.

Well, that's kind of, yeah. You're also kind of like, yeah. Like, unless I'm working on it. Yeah, you're really going to fix something by thinking about it all the time. Unless I obsess over this problem, how can I possibly come up with a solution? Yours is good. I really think gray hair is not for everyone. Not for every man.

But, like, it truly is a good look on you. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. It's also way, I'm not going to manscape this. Oh, we're there. Do you guys use them too? Yeah, we use them.

They sent me a bunch of stuff. Did you use the kit? Yeah, yeah. It's the first time. It's good. Are you escaped? I'm not. This is like a fucking escape. It's good. I am not joking. I'm not. I'm not joking. This is like a fucking joke. Did you escape?

Today. No. I've had it for like two weeks and I was on the road. I was like, I'll use it. I got the ball toner. I got the crop reviver. The crop reviver. Yeah.

Buddy. This is insane. You got your balls all clean. It's like betterhelp.com. Here we go. You got your balls all taken care of. You got a shave. You got a shave. Better get a hair catch for my shower drain. It's like betterhelp.com. Here we go. Your balls are taken care of. You got to shave. You got to shave your nuts.

Better get a hair catch for my shower drain is what I better. Oh, dude. I could have asked you tomorrow. It was like Tommy's chest. Dude, shaving your nuts to meet your new therapist. While getting paid for it. I thought I was supposed to be intimate with you. Jail my peaches.

That's so funny, dude. I swear to God, before I came here, I went to the gym this morning, worked out, and then I got home and sent a bunch of emails. I was like, I'll get in the shower. I was like, let's try this fucking thing. It's good. It works. Yeah. I like to use the nose trimmer.

You don't trim up here at all no i like i i'm kind of bad at the lines you know like this is not by the way it's not the product's fault but i did not do a good job on this yeah it's a lot uh and like that's the one thing i wish they had because i i have a norelco shaver for for my beard where you could put a an attachment on it to get like, you know, to like fade into your. Yeah. They don't have a fader. You know what I mean?

Sometimes I don't want to be like a skin of a dolphin. I want like, I want a little. I want like, yeah, because I like, I kind of fucking. Oh, I don't have a clip. Do you have a clip? Yeah, you will. Yeah, you have a clip. Look, I'm just saying like, it kind of salted the earth today.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Me too. Yeah. kind of salted the earth today. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Me too. Yeah. But it's like all flesh. Yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah. You go bare bones. Yeah. Well, I don't know what's. You don't know what's in it. Because I don't ever do it. I like all bare bones. I'm not a huge groomer, you know, clearly. Yeah.

Like this is the one part that's really fucking dialed in. It looks like george clooney if a girl like hooks up with you she's gonna get down there and be like oh yeah it's all clean i think if you get older and you gotta you got yeah the wood floor down there i think it's weird yeah you gotta act your age you know what i mean yeah but like i didn't know so what do you do if you're a teenager i don't know why not i well i like any anything that extends the duration to the next time that i have to do it so it's like right so you do pure laziness you get a couple weeks yeah yeah then

then you're in the zone right but i take a lot of vitamins my hair my nails everything's flying off the shelf lately so i gotta cut my hair every like five to seven days my nails are every like five huh what's the hair vitamin e i think you might be right about it you're juicing no i take fucking moldy bites i take it that's not my hair my nails are what's your pattern for when you shave your nethers i i use a clip i use a hair trimmer yeah i don't use the like how short manscape i use for like trimming around my beard and stuff use for my face okay because i don't need a clip. I use a hair trimmer. Yeah. I don't use the... So, like, how short do you... Manscape I use for, like, trimming around my beard and stuff. I use it for my face. Okay. Because I don't need a clip for my face.

I go bare. Yeah. So, but, like, what's... I got a clip. How far... How short... What's the length, I guess? Because I don't...

Like, I don't like how... Bare it is. It looks like Telly Savalas. It's weird. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to be bare. And also, I don't, like, love looking at my balls, to be honest.

Well, of course you don't. A three-piece set is a hideous object what is the reason that went out in the 90s yeah it's ugly dicks are hideous even if you're a pretty dick it's still kind of it's still like yeah it's still like having the nicest yugo yeah i think the dick has been overly criticized of course all right you think yours is nice no i think dicks are all right i mean pussies don't look that great i think it's just a I think the dick has been overly criticized. Of course. All right. You think yours is nice. We get where you're going. No, I think dicks are all right.

I mean, pussies don't look that great. I think it's just a- True. Now we're going to get you into the LGBTQ help. Dicks look great. Pussies look rough. Chris on Better Health next week, like, my problem is pussies. Take it over all the dicks, how ugly they are.

Thanks a lot, AOC. If you didn't know how good a pussy was at doing what it does, you wouldn't be that thrilled about looking at it. Yeah, you'd walk right past that flesh flower. Just go by George O'Keefe. He's so great. I'm not opening up that skin wallet.

I'm going to walk on by. Oh, look at that. Fuck it. That's a gun. Cool. No, it's just, I go like a reasonable, you know. But you still leave like. A two clip.

You still leave like a little. Yeah, I love. A hue on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it's more mature. Yeah, you know, I think so too. Yeah. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah. You look like a you don't it's not good you can't be a man with like hair on your chest and your belly and it just goes bald and you got hair on your legs well you can i'm doing it right in this moment on this sofa in this podcast don't let anyone tell you what you can do yeah i don't think yeah you have female listeners no no man escape.com uh code word is stuff island you get 20 off your first order and free delivery manscape has to work on pussies too yeah it says man you have clippers you i want to see if you can shave balls you can shave a pussy that's the

way i see good work bud chris doing the hard work but now you have one female listener what if we just had a time like four just opened up you like you look at your downloads and they're through the roof all of a sudden all because of chris's research finally someone you know what i figured turns out clippers can cut hair of all sizes. I got to go to the store and get my wife some lady scissors. Yeah, I'm just very curious. It's not something I do very often because I'm just all filthy.

Big on the nose trimmer. I did use it today. I don't have a ton of nose hair or ear hair, but I felt the little zip it today. I don't have a ton of nose hair or ear hair, but I definitely felt the little zip it got. Ear hair and back hair are my two biggest fears. Do you have back hair? No. You got a couple.

No, I got straights like an Asian guy. They're out of nowhere, you know what I mean? But I don't have a hair. I don't have hair on my back. I'm not hairy on my arms or legs. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. That's great.

Irish Mexican. Good for you. Yeah. And you got blondies, so you're like, that's a very fortunate thing. Yeah. I got long nipple hair though. I got nipple hair that can get four or five inches long. Oh my God, trim that.

I do. I'm just saying. You only get the five inches? That takes like six months. Yeah, every once in a while. Shave your nipples like you do your nuts. You won't have to do it so often. six months. Yeah, every once in a while. Shave your nipples like you do your nuts.

You won't have to do it so often. Yeah. I do that every once in a while. You'll go down a shirt size too. If you have hair on your chest and then you shave it, it looks ridiculous. Do you guys have a lot of chest hair? It's coming in. I got a good bit. I shorten my chest hair though.

I just have the stomach stuff. It's not bad. I can a good bit. Yeah. I shortened my chest hair. I just have the stomach stuff. It's not bad. I can get a nice bouffant going. Problem is they start peeking out or I wear like black shirts. Yeah. It looks like you got like cat hair on it, but it's just my chest hair popping out.

Yeah. So you got to be real careful with that. Yeah. So you like the button ups for that then? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also my,

it's what comes with age. I'm not, this is just me asking. I saw your eyes. What did you say? A lot of people see my eyes. Did you cut the top? Do you cut the top? A lot of people see my eyes. Do you cut the top?

No, this is natural. Really? You just got a hard line like that? I'll shorten from, yeah, this is where it stops. Do you think this is where it's gonna stop for your body hair, like? Forever? I'm locked in, dude.

It's like ice. No, but I mean, do you think like, when you, however, if you, in 10 years or 15 years when you're 50, right? Yeah, this will never connect. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, you're done? You think you're 50, right? Yeah. This will never connect. Yeah. That's what I mean. I'm done.

You're done? You think you're done? No growth? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. I don't know about that, but yeah.

That's a wild thing. I haven't progressed in any manner except for here because I shave. I shave the sides. Okay. Is that true about the more you shave, the thicker it grows in? No, that's made up. You don't think that's true? Yeah. He's just doing this. No, that's made up. You don't think that's true? Yeah.

He's just doing this. No, it's fake. It's 100% real. I didn't have hair like this before I started shaving and going to a barber. Huh? Ask the... Jesus. Holy fuck.

Ask the experts at Manscaped. Yes. Do they have an expert line? I must have. If they don't, this is really bad news for them line I must have if they don't my shit this is really bad news for them if we're suggesting that they don't do you have a clip your nails they grow in faster now if you take vitamin E

though they will why would nails work different than hair it's what are you they are the same yeah the same in terms of actually my nail I chew my nails down a lot and I nails off you can shave your nails off actually You can shave your nails off, actually. Dude, what are you doing?

I like you dropping it. He's being correct, I think. He sucks over. What are you talking about? No, I guess my nails grow really fast. My nails grow really fast because I chew on them a lot and stuff. Yeah, so does he. Yeah, I bite them.

But mine grow in fast. so maybe you might he might be right do i take bites yeah don't talk to me like i'm at a fucking expo when you're trying to sell me herbal life or whatever i was in detroit i was in detroit you guys know uh kunal casey aurora uh yeah yeah him and i were in Detroit this weekend at House of Comedy and in our hotel there was just in Detroit there was a gigantic

Herbalife convention oh Jesus and it was that's still a thing massive and like fucked really fucked

it's pretty gross what is Herbalife I don't even know it's like a supplement supplement protein kind of but it's multi-level marketing

like it's an MLM and they say they're not an MLM and they've had to change their business practices in the states but not internationally you watch documentaries on that shit they make poor people sell everything they have to build

their inventory and store it in their house and then push it all over their and they just go poor and it's also it's this is like what i noticed and i don't know if this is true but it's what i felt like i was seeing a lot of this weekend it's like a lot of latinos so people would might have like oh no might there might be a language barrier for them to take advantage of yeah that's the the majority of the documentary is how they go. Yeah, they go after Latinas.

Yeah, and people would like- Latinas, yeah. Yeah, the women, because they're pushing it. They're excited. The guys are sleepy-beepy and drunk in the streets. Also, Tommy Pope goes after Latinas. Herbal Pope. But also, it was such a big deal.

They were fucking at Fort Field. Pitbull played a concert for all these people. Oh, my know what i mean so it's like well it's like that top are probably yeah yeah and we were in the elevator one guy was like oh i'm like top 10 and the guy was like that's amazing i'm vip and they're like what and if there's a whole yeah weird subculture to it that it's like it's kind of it's like any it's like it's also their community you know it's like it's like they're it's where they spend their time it's like their church it's like their comedy club or whatever i saw i saw some women in new hampshire years ago and uh i looked them up on instagram and i saw that they were like doing that kind of

shit and it became really clear to me that they know that it's a scam, but they're like, well, we're hotter than the other women. So we'll sell ugly women and they buy from us. You like build like a stable of people like to. Yeah, they're like, that's how you rise. You can be like, you find people who. You find new people to buy stock, to buy. Yeah.

And like you, like you kind of take advantage of insecurities others yeah yeah so it's like i know this is a scam but i'll go up because i'm like good looking and fun yeah this is just like that's why like pharmacy reps and liquor reps are always like really attractive yeah yeah yeah yeah the doctor wants to get a little honk on the hiney you know he gets his fucking his fucking groceries bought. That's not what I'm saying. That's what it used to be like in the early days, pharmaceutical sales. I don't even know what we're talking about. Doctor gives you a honk on the hiney.

Oh, yeah. Come on, what are we talking here? What are we talking here? Doctors used to only get drugs from hot chicks. That's why all pharmaceutical sales reps, it's based on looks. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. It's like, why do you want to go to a hot bartender?

Remember Abercrombie, like, years ago? Yes, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. It's like, why do you want to go to a hot bartender? Remember Abercrombie, like, years ago? Yes, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hot teens. Yeah. What? It's true. Gross.

Gross. Just to put a bow on this. Yeah. 20% off. How's this all going to fit in one box? 20% off on free shipping with the code StealthIsland at Manscaped.com. That's 20% off on free shipping at Manscaped. I've said this before on a podcast.

I don't know if- From Stealth Island. You talk over there. I already did that. Oh, you did? Yeah. Well, you didn't say it's time you enjoy the finer things in life. Oh, that's true.

And that was- They said we had to say that. It's big, Chris. My uncle was like VP of sales and like one of the big names. One of the big top three or top five pharmaceutical companies. Oh, really? And this is before regulations started, which was like I think in the early 2000s where they were like, you can't purchase. You can't take a guy to a strip club or a golf course or buy their groceries.

There's no more of that shit. There's no more like guys buddy-buddying going, hey, Dr. Williams, I got a fucking tea time for 11.20 and then we'll pick up your groceries and then we'll get you a lap dance. That's all. And then they would push that guy's drug even if it's not best for his patient. Yeah.

Did you watch some of the, have you seen some of the opioids? Yes. HBO did a pretty good one called The Greatest Crime Ever Told or Committed. The Greatest Crime Ever Told or Committed, yeah. Yeah, and it was. yes the the what is hbo did a pretty good one called the greatest yes greatest crime ever yes told or committed or committed yeah and it was the sackler family are the worst people i've ever even fucking like yeah yeah just gross blood on their fucking hands yeah it's insane yeah and that uh hulu put out this dope sick that this kind of like trauma thing with michael keaton

yeah great it's wonderful yeah yeah dope sick love is the greatest documentary ever ever told dope sick love yeah what's that it's on hbo it's done in the 90s it just shows like uh a bunch of couples and random dudes going around uh lower east side i believe um just getting drugs sucking bird doing whatever they do whatever they can why do you watch to get hot because it's great it's entertaining it's hilarious it's also a movie sucking bird yeah there's like straight dude sucking bird just to get some fucking some paper for rock this is the kardashians you realize that that kind of content no it's not it is it's the same as the kardashians what are you talking about no it's not it is no it is watching watching like disaster porn like that watching like people just struggle with addiction with no result here's the thing is the same as watching

a family scream at each other and get their asses i'll tell you why it's not because the kardashians are making a shitload of money. True. And those people and the Kardashians are fucking anti-disaster. Are like selling themselves out. These people are fucked and like,

you know, not taking advantage of that. I agree. It's even worse. But yeah, but they're not making money. Like the Kardashians are like, no,

someone's making, I did a research episode of them on our podcast where the premise of our podcast is we try to like things that people shit on yes and i could not do it of course like they were like well i eventually had to be like

they're billionaires and those aren't good either you know like like yeah like they just have a lot of stuff like i guess they're good business women like i just i did not yeah i really i would i would every day i would pray if if it was possible that they would become crack addicted and just blowing strangers until their teeth fell out and they all died very slowly you could watch it on your show and i could watch it for free on hulu.com i print my emails Dot com. Dot com? What are you, my grandpa? I print my emails. What the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck the Kardashians.

You know? I got to piss. All right. What are we at here? We're at 58. Oh, nice. Shane, what's the name of your podcast? No Accounting for Taste.

Nice. No Accounting for Taste. Yeah. What's the one you're podcast? No Accounting for Taste. No Accounting for Taste. Yeah. What's the one you're most proud of starting to like? I really liked our episode. Hey, what's up, man?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. What's going on? Shane's one cup. What's going on? He's taking a whiz. Took a quick piss-ass. Good to see you, man.

How are you? What's going on? How is the cast? Good. Nice. Good to see you, man. How are you? What's going on? How was the cast? It was good. Nice. Good to see you, man. Good 4th of July for you. Yeah, it was fun.

Yeah, it was real. Yeah. That was a blast. On the Patreon, 4th of July. No, kind of, for Taste the Aliens episode is very fun.

Oh, yeah. You got it. What was it you like? We should, like, things people just kind of make fun of, we try to, like, be like, what's, like, which is like things people just kind of make fun of we try to like be like what's like what is good about it you know yeah yeah but wait so were you talking

about like the people who like believe ancient aliens exist yeah like just aliens in general hey well like people who believe in the alien culture and like yeah because i happen to think it's possible but i'm also uh not like a person who's like super into watching like yeah yeah like i like it's always like somebody's like it's a ufo and you're like it's a fucking weather balloon yeah like that kind of shit like so like that one that episode we did a really fun episode on um nascar so yeah so it's that kind of thing. Have you gone to NASCAR before? It's a thrilling event. It's awesome.

It's really fun. It's very fun. It's very fun. Boy, you see some people there that are unbelievable. A lot of less, not enough manscaping out there. What? In the south. No, they're just like, it's just, I don't know.

People come out of the woodwork that are just, you can't believe. We're going to go to a Formula One racing in Monaco. What? Italy. Monza. Le Mans? No, it's Monza. Oh, in Le Mans.

It's outside of Milan. Yeah, yeah. Le Mans is like- Okay, well, first of all, I think it's in France. What? I've been reading about it. Is this like a thing for the podcast or what? Yeah.

Yeah. Explain this to me. Once we get to 4 000 patrons we go to italy to watch uh these fucking degos whip around our track aren't you italian yeah yeah what do you think i'm offended i think the only time you're offended is on super tuesday and your candidate that's not true i could care less about politicians just like the Kardashians they can all get shot in the fucking face too

that's true yeah cut that alright let's go to the page yeah that's fucking fun oh you already said it

awesome 22nd 23rd nice yeah keep that in